I Can Hear This Gif.

I can hear this gif.

jin’s reaction lmaooo

OooooooooooOooOooOo

This is so good! What a delightful enemies to lovers story! I don’t like how mean he is to her but I love that she copes with some confidence issues about her physical appearance and I look forward to seeing what that dynamic develops into over more chapters. Really enjoying this!

dextrocardia | 02

Dextrocardia. Originally a medical term, but also a way to describe someone who's got their heart in the right place.

"She's been moved to another operation to help out. This pairing is necessary because you'll be undercover as spouses. I know you two can be professional about this."

"What?!" It's Jeongguk's upset voice that sounds, and for once, you share his displeased opinion.

Spouses.

pairing: cop!jk x f detective!reader

genre: undercover cops, fake marriage, e2l au, angst, fluff, smut

word count: 7.5k

warnings for this part: overall sexism, jk is mean but not much more than that.

rating: NC-17 – Adults Only

masterlist

part 2/? 

<previous | next>

© dextrocardia is copyright jeonstudios. this fic can not be modified, re-posted, or translated without my permission.

When you wake up, the sun is already shining its rays through the living room windows, and you hear something that sounds eerily like a shower running. Immediately, you fly into a sitting position, patting down the covers retrieved from “your” side of the bed in search of your phone. Fenrir, curled up over your legs, lifts his head to look at you.

“Fuck,” you whisper when you find the device. It’s nine a.m. You really couldn’t sleep last night, too on edge, and the last thing you remember, it was six-fifty.

Few things make you as uncomfortable as the thought of being asleep on the couch while Jeongguk’s awake and walking around in the house, and the sound of the shower stops while you’re still cringing at how you didn’t manage to wake up before him. You guess you’re lucky that he needs you for the mission, otherwise, he wouldn’t have passed up a chance of suffocating you with a pillow, surely. Additionally, you probably looked even more disgusting than usual.

Touching your mouth, you’re at least relieved that there’s no drool, and although your hair feels slightly messy under your fingers, it certainly doesn’t feel like a bird’s nest. You're busy patting it down further when something moves in your peripherals.

Of course, it’s Jeongguk entering the room. And of course, he’s shirtless, the only thing he’s wearing being a pair of gray sweatpants hanging incredibly low on his hips.

Let’s just say that if you weren’t entirely awake, you for sure are now.

It’s truly ridiculous, and you hate how the vision in front of you–Jeongguk holding a towel in one hand and drying his black strands with it, occasionally lowering it to dab away a stray drop that’s run down his chest–almost makes you forget how much you hate him.

You knew very well how fit he is, but to see the evidence? The way the muscles bulge under his skin? It turns your skull into an echo chamber. 

You especially despise how insanely attractive he is. Because sure, muscles are hot on their own, but it’s the way he’s so nicely proportioned, his wide, strong shoulders that evolve to impressive but not exaggerated biceps, and veiny, sturdy-looking arms. 

As he rubs his hair with the towel, you can even see parts of some kind of back muscle peek out on his side, a little lower than the bottom of his shoulder blades. And why does his waist look like that? Tiny, defined, and the contours of those muscles making up his abs and v-line move with his every breath. And you haven’t even mentioned the tattoos snaking up his arm and making him look all the more dangerous.

At least you find some sort of solace knowing that with a body fat percentage in the negatives like that, if the world were to end, Jeongguk probably wouldn’t survive anything colder than a mild winter.

“So you decided to finally wake up?” his voice snaps you out of it, and you meet his eyes, annoyance starting to trickle into yours. “Don’t you think you should get up earlier? What if someone pays us a visit to see you still asleep at this hour? Not very housewife of you.”

“Oh, shut up. As if you’ve accomplished anything at this hour except being an ass,” you roll your eyes, turning your head and trying not to let him see how your cheeks are just a bit warmer than before. “And put some clothes on, will you?”

“Well, I did find out that the guys spend Thursday nights at the Kims’, playing poker, and managed to get myself invited,” Jeongguk boasts. “And no, I don’t think I will. I realize you’ve most likely never seen this much of a man before, but if I were you, I’d take advantage of it. Who knows when someone will let you see anything like this again. Never, probably.”

He gestures toward his abs, and you have to admit that the single water drop running down the bulging muscles looks very delectable. Of course, you don’t let him know that, hurt and anger still boiling in your veins.

“Unfortunately, I have, but it doesn’t matter, I don’t wanna see you. At all, actually. And when would you have had the time to find anything out?”

“Oh, right. I forgot. And I found it out when I went on my morning run just now? And keep telling yourself that, honey. You may hate men, but you can’t deny the fact that you'd get under me in a heartbeat if you had the chance.”

It’s the way he takes a step closer, arrogance reeking from him, and you despise how, for a split second, your gaze lingers on his thighs, visibly thick even through the fabric, and the evident bulge, not even visibly hard, front and center. You loathe how you just know that Jeongguk is most likely big and pretty, and how he definitely knows it too.

Seething–and with your heartbeat racing–you reach underneath the duvet to pluck the razor blade from its container strapped to your thigh. “Come closer and I promise you, I’ll cut your corneas out, and my face will be the last thing you see.”

“You’re fucking mental,” he shakes his head in disbelief, seemingly not very scared by your threat or the blade between your fingers. “What kinda name is ‘Fenrir’ anyway?”

You follow his line of sight, eyes landing on the new topic of conversation lying beside you. Carefully, you place the razor blade back.

“Norse mythology? The evil wolf that killed Odin?”

You take his raised eyebrows as a ‘no’. “The gods tried to bind him with magic chains, but Fenrir refused, only allowed it if his handler, the god Tyr, dared put his arm in Fenrir’s mouth.”

“So? Did he?”

“Yes, and Fenrir bit it off.”

You can’t really decipher the look on Jeongguk’s face except that he looks disinterested. He hums a ‘huh,’ and turns to leave the room. Weird.

Deciding to follow his lead even though your body is screaming at you to go back to sleep, you stand up and fold the duvet over your arm. Fenrir jumps down from the couch and follows you as you head up the stairs to return the covers to the empty side of the bed.

With the bed made, you shut your eyes briefly. You need to get started with the day and the mission, but that means going back downstairs and most likely having to spend time with Jeongguk close by while you’d much rather just stay in the bedroom alone.

Sucking it up, you change into another dress provided for you, a light pink summer dress with a pattern of the tiniest flowers on it. It’s pretty, but as you stand before the mirror, your eyes fill with worry. It’s not as tight as the blue one, but you’re still scared Jeongguk will comment on your body. You sigh and will yourself to not think about it and move on. It doesn’t matter.

When it comes to your hair, you would’ve just combed your fingers through it if you were home, maybe tied it away from your face somehow, but you wouldn’t have carefully combed through it like you do now. Neither would you have reached for a small bottle and pumped it twice into your hands, rubbing them together before applying the oil to the lengths of it.

You meet your own eyes in the bathroom mirror. Should you just apply some make-up? It’s no surprise that you look exhausted, and you don’t think you could hide it–along with all your imperfections–with make-up, but maybe just to smooth out your skin tone? Add some eyeliner and mascara to make your eyes look bigger? Contour your cheekbones a bit?

With a deep sigh, you retrieve your make-up bag, starting off by washing your face. Surely, they could’ve sent another female detective? If not Jihyo then Sana? Someone more appropriate and definitely more fitting than you. Because you’re… alright, but objectively and infuriatingly speaking, you don’t belong with Jeongguk. How no one has already called you out on your bluff is beyond you.

Looking somewhat presentable, you decide to take Fenrir out on his first walk of the day. It’s nice to have a backyard where he can relieve himself but he needs a lot more than just that.

The sun is already high in the sky when you close the front door behind you, leash in hand. Discreetly checking out your surroundings, you notice some of your neighbors doing various yard-work and gardening. 

Although these are people you’re supposed to spy on and put on your life’s act in front of, you honestly feel more relaxed outside than you do inside the house with Jeongguk. Fenrir stretches his body out before lowering his nose to sniff the lawn.

For a moment, as you walk through the neighborhood that’s actually pretty lovely, you almost forget about everything bothering you and the challenging mission you’re on.

The sound of someone calling your fake name snaps you out of your thoughts as you walk along the sidewalk. When you turn around, you see Hyeji waving excitedly, a leash of her own in her hand. Her dog is much smaller than Fenrir, and it’s white. A maltese perhaps?

It’s with a bit of smug pride that you return to the house one hour later, opening the door for yourself and Fenrir. 

You expected Jeongguk to be there, of course, and not to be at his very happiest because of, well, the situation, but when he comes to meet you at the door, he’s angrier than you could’ve guessed. 

“Where were you?” he crosses his arm over his chest–at least wearing a navy t-shirt now–his jaw tight.

“Walking Fenrir?” you state, stepping back and definitely not understanding what his problem is. You’ve been gone for a little more than an hour, not the entire day. 

The dog in question stands between the two of you, giving Jeongguk his stink eye. He doesn’t like men all that much, especially not if they seem threatening or unstable in any way, and Jeongguk does give off that kind of vibe.

“And you didn’t think to tell me?”

“Well, no? I didn’t think I had to ask for permission?” you blink in disgust. “You do know that this housewife, bread-winning husband thing is just an act, right? Besides, we just woke up, you’d think you’d understand that he needs to go outside.”

Jeongguk scoffs, “Just tell me when you leave and where.”

“Because?”

“Because,” he lowers his voice to a strained whisper, “we’re not exactly here on vacation, and I wanna know where you are.”

“But you didn’t tell me when you left for your run?”

“Because you were sleeping, and besides, I’m a man.”

“You’re a real dick, Jeongguk, you know that, right?”

Jeongguk just rolls his eyes, still standing with his arms crossed over his chest. 

“And I was gonna tell you about the lead I just found.”

This seemingly piques his interest, “What lead?”

For a split second, you consider not telling him as a punishment for being an ass, but honestly, you don’t want to anger him more than necessary. 

“Hyeji’s got a dog. I just met her, and we walked them together, so I’m thinking that’s my way in.”

Jeongguk hums, his professionalism taking the lead. “Yeah, that could work. Getting close to her will get you closer to Eunha too.”

“By the way, just so our stories match, should someone ask, I told her that I got Fenrir after a burglary before I met you.”

“What? Who did you tell? Hyeji? Just her?”

Confusion colors your expression, “Yeah, why?”

“Because I told Namjoon, the guy living in twelve, that I got Fenrir.”

You shut your eyes in frustration. “Now why would you do that? And why wouldn’t you tell me about it?”

“Because it’s such a masculine dog, it wouldn’t make sense if he was yours?”

“And why is that?”

“Look, stop being a feminazi for once. He doesn’t fit your character. Sure you’re not this sweet, pretty girl in real life, but that’s who you’re trying to be here, right? It makes more sense that he’s mine.”

You press your lips together. It shouldn’t hurt what he thinks of you. “Fine, just tell me if you do something like that again.”

“Fine.”

“And we really need to hurry up and get this over with so we can leave before everything starts to crumble around us.”

You stay inside for most of the day, reluctantly showing Jeongguk the commands you use when walking Fenrir, and even letting him play soccer with him in the backyard. It’s good for your image as a couple, you begrudgingly realize, and if you’re ever confronted about the contradicting backstory of Fenrir, you’ll just say that Jeongguk’s male ego is too fragile to admit that Fenrir’s originally yours. 

Stuck inside, you wonder what you’re going to do about the food for the remainder of your stay. Yesterday, you ate what Hyeji and Eunha brought you, even though you were hesitant in case it was poisoned. Since Jeongguk disregarded your warning and seemed fine, you followed his lead.

Although frustrating you beyond belief, you realize that you might as well bite the bullet and cook for the both of you. You don’t really want to provide any type of service for Jeongguk, but at the end of the day, it’s your job. Not to be his maid–cough–wife, but to be undercover and finish this mission.

You hear the sound of paws on the kitchen floor before you hear Jeongguk’s voice.

“You know this is probably the best part so far, Mrs Jeon,” he taunts smugly. 

Turning away from the pans on the stove, you roll your eyes. At least he seems to be in a better mood. 

“First of all, I’m not a Mrs, and certainly not your Mrs. Secondly, unfortunately I have to eat, and I know you’d use the opportunity to poison me, so I might as well do it.”

“Might as well do what? Poison me?”

“No, idiot, cook. You don’t have to eat it if you don’t want to because you’re a grown man and surely able to feed yourself? But I don’t have very much reason to poison you. Yes, I hate you with everything in me, but how would I explain your absence? What would I do with your body?”

“Oh, there are probably plenty of things you’d do with my body.”

Your eyebrows shoot up. “Jeongguk, I don’t want to be anywhere near you, dead or alive.”

“Hmm, let’s say that,” he shrugs.

He does end up eating the food you serve. In a different room from you, of course.

Your heart beats quickly, and your veins are filled with anxiety as you stare at your options of dresses. The fact that even though it was your turn to sleep in the bedroom, you didn’t manage to get a good night’s rest, doesn’t help.

The barbeque is today, in a few hours actually. You haven’t spoken to Jeongguk about what he’s wearing, and you really don’t want to, treasuring the fact that you haven’t seen much of him today so far.

It’s probably best to go for cute and proper, casual yet… elegant? Something not too revealing or form fitting around the chest as well. You sigh, not having put this much effort into your looks in a while. It’s not like you have anyone to impress at work, anyway.

In the end, you settle for a light yellow dress, reaching just below your knees and with a square neckline and short sleeves. It’s cute, you think, as you hold it in your hands. It won’t look its very best on you, but it will have to do. You just hope Jeongguk will keep his mouth shut because you really don’t need it today.

Ten minutes to six, you open the front door with a large oven dish containing food in your hands, Jeongguk right behind you with a case of beer in his hand. The few sentences you’ve exchanged so far were all about the plan, and it’s placed you into some kind of bubble. 

Until Jeongguk’s voice breaks you out of it. 

“Wait,” he says, hand still on the open door when you turn around.

He’s wearing a dark blue button up shirt, the first two buttons undone, paired with black chino shorts, and it’s incredible how good he looks. The outfit brings out the darkness of his hair and eyes and shows off his impressive physique. 

You never thought someone’s knees and calves could be attractive, but that’s obviously the case when it comes to Jeongguk because you’ve found yourself glancing even at those more than once. His whole body is just so… manly. Strong and athletic. And it makes you hurl on the inside how you’re unable to stop your body from appreciating his.

He’s quiet until you take a step closer, looking up at him questioningly. “What?”

“Let your hair down.”

Instinctively, your hand flies up to feel the loose ponytail you put your hair into an hour ago, but you don’t feel any particular bumps or loose strands that would make it look weird.

“Why?”

“Just do it.”

Glaring at him and his non-informative answer, you shake your head. “No.”

But he doesn’t give up. “Come here,” he instructs, and you’re well aware that people could be watching you, so reluctantly, you decide to listen.

“Just trust me for once,” he looks down at you when you come to stand in front of him. Your heart starts to race when he puts the beer down to lift his hands to your head, taking the hair tie out and letting your hair fall freely. You hate that you know how he smells, and you hate that you like it.

“I don’t trust you,” you state because it’s true. The only reason you’re somewhat going along with him is because you’re outside where your neighbors could see, and they can’t witness you arguing.

If your heart was beating quickly before, it’s nothing compared to what it does when Jeongguk chooses to run his hand through your hair to fix it to how he likes. Being so close to him makes you nervous of meeting his eyes, but when his focus lies elsewhere, you chance a glance at his face. 

He looks concentrated and stern, but you notice a mole under his bottom lip that makes his entire face almost… cute. It’s disgusting, really, how kissable his mouth appears.

“It makes you look younger, more care-free,” he explains absentmindedly. “Now, you need to act well, so if you can do me a favor and hide your man-hatred for just one night.”

You hadn’t felt how your eyes had softened just a tad, but you damn well feel the glare return stronger than before.

“Excuse me, I’m a great actress,” you bite in a strained whisper. “A great detective.”

“Let’s just agree to disagree on that one,” he smiles down at you, but it’s sarcastic and full of distaste.

“Fuck you,” you mutter, stepping away from him.

The walk to the Jungs’ is a short one–it really is just on the other side of the street–but you’re clutching the oven dish tightly in your hands the whole time. You begrudgingly realize that Jeongguk is an even better actor than you thought.  

As soon as you arrive at the Jungs’ backyard, all attention is on the two of you. The new couple. All in all, there are maybe ten to twelve people gathered, most watching curiously. Jeongguk is quick to hand the beer away and then take the oven dish from you to put it down on a table filled with food and ingredients. 

After that, he doesn’t leave your side for the ten minutes it takes for everyone to greet you, his arm resting comfortably around your waist. You try your best to ignore the nerves as you’re basically held against Jeongguk’s firm body, but you’re almost sure he can feel your heartbeat through your clothes.

Remembering what he said before, you throw caution to the wind and place your hand on his abdomen. Jeongguk doesn’t react and only continues to speak with your new “friends,” and you try to act as if having your hand on his firm stomach–moving slightly under your touch with his every movement and breath–is a common occurrence.

“Awh, that’s so romantic,” Wheein exclaims when you once again tell the story of how you and Jeongguk ‘met.’ She and her two friends watch you with heart eyes, but it’s definitely mostly because of your fake husband. If only they knew the evil that resides behind that ridiculous beauty.

“Yeah, and we just knew, right, honey? Right away?”

“Yeah,” you smile up at him, and you’re almost floored by his warm smile. 

If you’ve learned anything so far, it’s that you’ve never seen him really smile before coming here, and it’s so convincing. You take notice of how dimples appear on his cheeks and how the corners of his eyes crinkle when he looks the very happiest. It’s almost jarring.

Fortunately, you can’t stay together the whole time, and Jeongguk decides to help out with the meat, seeing it as a chance to get closer to the guys. You, on the other hand, talk with some of the wives. And unsurprisingly, they just really wanna gush about your hunk of a husband.

You nod along to their fawning over Jeongguk until Hyeji calls for them from inside the house. She needs help with the food, and Wheein, cradling her practically newborn baby, holds him out for you.

“You wanna hold him a little bit for me? I’ll be right inside if you need anything, but he’ll most likely just sleep.”

It’s been a while since you held a baby, the latest being your cousin’s daughter, and she’s almost seven now, but you nod. It’ll be nice to not have to listen to Jeongguk’s new admirers for a while. Even nicer not to have to agree with them.

“Uh, sure.”

Gratefully, she hands him over and disappears into the house.

Turns out that Wheein wasn’t lying, and although Doyun isn’t asleep, he’s very calm. You spend another ten minutes easily watching the little baby in your arms, mesmerized by how incredibly adorable he is. He’s got a lot of hair for such a young baby, his entire head covered in black tresses.

“New here?”

When you look up, you’re met with an unfamiliar face. It’s a man, tall and with black hair. He must’ve just arrived.

“Uh, yeah,” you answer, “moved in just a few days ago.”

The man smiles, and you’re hit with how pretty he is, but there’s a… feeling in your stomach.

“I’m Haneul”

“Nice to meet you,” you greet, thankful for the little human occupying your arms and rendering you unavailable for a handshake.

“The pleasure’s all mine, nice to finally have some beautiful new women in town.”

“Oh, uh, I’m flattered, but unfortunately, I’m married,” you smile politely and shift Doyun around to give Haneul a glimpse of your fake ring.

He only glances at it briefly before hitting you with a lazy smirk. “‘Unfortunately,’ huh?”

Fuck. 

“I didn’t mean it like that, I love my husband.”

“Is he here?”

“Yeah,” you answer, turning your head to search for your tall, dark-haired husband. But you don’t see him at the grill, and your stomach drops. “Uh, he was there just a moment ago.”

“I see. Listen, I know a lot of husbands can be… lacking… in certain areas, and I’m having a hard time tearing my eyes off you, so I thought I should at least offer, you know?”

You hate men so fucking much, the audacity to come onto you in this manner after you already told him you were happily married? You’d also bet every penny you own that he wouldn’t have made the offer if he saw Jeongguk, because your fake husband–regardless if you’d ever admit it to anyone or even yourself–can be really imposing. He’s tall, strong, and has great posture. 

Honestly, they’re probably not even that different, Jeongguk and Haneul. At least they both seem confident and very entitled.

Your pulse races, but not in a good way, and you instinctively take a step back. You can feel the plastic case lying in your bra, but unless it is a real life or death situation, you can’t reach for it.

“Well, I’ll have to decline, and you should probably know that not a lot of husbands would appreciate your offer,” you warn politely, realizing that this is a man who won’t respect a woman’s opinion, but only her male owner’s.

You continue walking backward, smiling nicely just because you know it’s in your best interest not to cause a scene. He follows you, still with his lips pulled into that smirk. “Oh but they don’t need to know.”

Luckily, Jeongguk has returned from wherever he went, talking with the other men–Hoseok included–when you reach him.

He’s looking the other way, not having noticed you as you almost bump into him before hoisting Doyun up and holding him with one arm and carefully snaking your free one around Jeongguk’s.

“This is my husband,” you tell Haneul. At the same time, Jeongguk turns his head questioningly, looking between you and the man. 

Truthfully, it hurts you to have to come to him for any sort of help, but you guess you can at least play it off as your cover–Kim Yeji–needing him and not you. 

Certainly understanding why you’re suddenly seeking his protection, when you peer up at Jeongguk, you see his stern face observing the other man. 

Haneul only smiles apologetically and raises his hands, palms facing you.

You know that Jeongguk’s lack of pleasantries doesn’t mean that he’s angry at the guy–he’s probably only annoyed at you for interrupting his mingling–but Haneul accepts his defeat and leaves anyway. With him gone, you step away from Jeongguk, making sure it’s inconspicuous enough. 

In true Jeongguk-manner, he raises his eyebrows minimally at you, but all you do is give a little dismissive wave. 

For the few minutes it takes you to make sure Haneul isn’t lingering, you stay in Jeongguk’s proximity. Although keeping his confused aura whenever he peers over at you, there aren’t any opportunities for him to ask, and the other beer-drinking men keep him busy.

Soon enough, you find yourself at the border between the Jungs’ and the Choi’s yards, sitting down on the low stone wall dividing them. Doyun is wide awake but so well behaved and calm that he might as well have been knocked out, and you don’t even try to keep your eyes off him.

It’s not until someone sits down beside you that you look up. Surprisingly, you breathe out in relief when the brown eyes you meet belong to Jeongguk. Who would’ve thought you’d ever be relieved to see him?

“It’s going well, but unfortunately, I haven’t found out anything else of importance,” he updates you.

Realistically, you’ve always known you wouldn't be able to solve the case in an afternoon, but realizing you might be stuck here for longer than you expected makes your heart sink.

It’s quiet for a moment. Something about this cute little being on your lap lessens your anger, and you’re forced to realize that there’s just no point in overworking your heart at the moment. You can’t run, and there’s nowhere for you to hide.

“Isn’t he the cutest thing you’ve ever seen?” you ask quietly, focusing on the little being that’s still pure.

As if he didn’t see the tiny baby before, Jeongguk peers over into your lap. “Hmm, he’s pretty cute.”

Hit by another realization, you turn your head to first look at Jeongguk and then Doyun again.

“Do you have something to tell me?”

You can practically feel Jeongguk’s confusion. “What?”

“I mean, he a hundred percent looks like he could be yours,” you smile a small smile, and for the first time in what feels like forever, you think it’s mostly genuine. If someone told you two weeks ago that you’d try to make light conversation, joke even, with Jeongguk, you would’ve laughed at the insanity.

But, of course, no good deed goes unpunished, and the peace is short-lived.

“So you think I’m cute?”

“That’s definitely not what I said,” you scoff, not even sparing Jeongguk a glance.

“But it is what you meant.”

You grow quiet, not feeling a fight but unable to lie at the moment. Jeongguk just needs to ruin everything not already terrible, doesn’t he?

“So you do?”

“Jeongguk,” you sigh, holding the little boy’s hand, “I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you you’re handsome.”

“No, but it’s always nice to hear,” he says, and you can hear the grin in his voice. “But honestly, you’re right, he does look a lot like me. I’m pretty sure I looked exactly like that when I was a baby.”

For some reason, you find the irritation slowly melting away once more. You’re just tired of always being angry with him, and since he’s not terribly mean at the moment, you guess you can allow yourself a little break. It’s not like he’s going to insult you and your family and then bash your head in with a rock in front of all the neighbors.

“It’s the nose, right? And the eyes—yours are also really round.”

“Yeah.”

You watch as Jeongguk offers his hand and as Doyun grips his finger. The vision of his large, tattooed hand being held by this tiny little one ignites just a little bit of warmth in your chest.

“That guy… what was up with him?”

You tear your eyes from the cuteness in front of you to peer at the side of Jeongguk’s face. He seems curious.

“I don’t know, he…”

But you just don’t have the energy to start anything. Telling Jeongguk about how men never respect you and how you hate the way they only stop when there’s another man involved will only make him roll his eyes and call you a man-hating lesbian. 

Besides, even if you think Haneul was interested in you in some way or another, you can’t tell Jeongguk that either. Although you’re well aware that men frequently only show “interest” to prove their power over you as a woman, Jeongguk will only retort that you’re being negative. He’d call you self-centered for thinking that Haneul wanted something because how would someone that pretty possibly be interested in you?

So you don’t continue your sentence. Neither does Jeongguk. 

A moment passes before he places his hands on his knees. “Well, I’m gonna head back to the guys and keep trying.”

“Yeah, me too. They’ll probably be back soon,” you nod toward the house. 

Jeongguk nods as well, “Good luck, then.”

“You too.”

The food is delicious, even if you do wait to take the first bite until everyone else has, just in case. You’re seated at the end of the table, Jeongguk on the short side with the corner between you.

It’s more difficult than you would like to admit to find a balance in eye contact, or just any contact, really. 

Ideally, you’d prefer to pretend he doesn’t exist, but he does, and you can’t seem too avoidant or there will be suspicions. 

On the other hand, if you look too much at him, he’ll for sure call you out on your obsessive behavior later, and you don't want to give him any more ammunition than he already has. He really doesn’t need to know that you don’t think you’ve ever seen a man as handsome as him before. 

Hyeji sits on your left side, turning to you often but otherwise talking animatedly to her husband Yoongi on her other side.  

Jeongguk speaks a bit with his neighbor too, but it’s not someone of importance–Hyeji’s visiting cousin. You don’t know her name but she doesn’t hide how interested she is in your “husband.” Which sort of makes you unreasonably irritated. Or maybe it isn’t so unreasonable since it makes you feel disrespected. For what she knows, Jeongguk is yours.

Luckily for you–for the mission–Jeongguk only interacts with her in a clearly platonic way, no too joyous smiles or any touches at all. Just small talk.

If it were up to you, you would’ve preferred going through the evening without as much as another word to your partner, leaving him to talk to whoever he wants, but there’s one thing that makes the hair on your arms stand up. One man.

Hoseok.

He sits on the other side of the long, rectangular table, approximately five seats away. He’s too far away for you or Jeongguk to really speak to, but that in itself doesn’t bother you too much because you don’t want to risk coming on too strong, anyway. 

What does bother you is the curious, even inspective way he turns his head to look at you. He’s a handsome man, with dark brown eyes and hair and sun-kissed skin, but he makes cold shivers run down your spine.

Without meeting his eyes, you try to appear confident and like your new friends are demanding all your attention, but whenever Hyeji turns away, you’re left to your husband.

In an attempt to at least look like you enjoy having him on this earth, you place your hand on top of his that’s resting on the table. Not executed in the smoothest way possible–a little bumpy–you still think it looks somewhat genuine.

At the action, Jeongguk turns his head to face you, but you’re already turning yours away, this time asking Hyeji where she grew up and ready to tell your own made-up childhood story. To your surprise, you feel Jeongguk turn his hand over and intertwine your fingers, and for quite some time, your hands remain like that.

“Hi! Good to get away from the others for a bit, right?”

You match Hyeji’s grin as you come to stand before her, Fenrir and her dog, Bubbles, sniffing each other. 

“Yeah, I just zone out when they start talking about sports,” you chuckle, referring to the few couples still at the Jungs’, and particularly the men. “They’re so passionate about it, too?”

“Oh, definitely! Does Jaehyun invite his friends to watch important games? Or just… all the games?” she laughs, wrapping her cardigan tighter around her in the chilly night air and taking the lead on the sidewalk.

You call for Fenrir’s attention and follow Hyeji. “Yeah, not all the games, and they’re not always at ours, but yeah, they can’t seem to watch anything alone, can they?”

“No, meanwhile I just watch my series with Bubbles, but he’s so much better company than Yoongi, honestly.”

“I can relate to that! How old is Bubbles, by the way?”

“He’ll be seven in December, so almost an old man,” she smiles fondly down at the dog who stops to pee on a neighbor’s fence. “Oops,” Hyeji smiles childishly. “What about Fenrir? How old is he?”

“He’s five.”

“He’s so big,” she marvels over the dog that dwarfs her maltese.

“Yeah. He’s made me feel a lot safer since… what happened.”

“I get that. I’m sorry that happened to you, it must’ve been awful. But at least you’ve got Fenrir and your husband too now to protect you.”

You almost laugh at the irony. If someone broke into your fake home, Jeongguk would probably serve you up on a silver platter for the burglars to take you. He’d interrupt them, only to happily offer them a knife and remind them to really stab you through the heart before they leave.

“Jaehyun is… strong and all, but I honestly think he’s a little too relaxed,” you complain, appearing worried. “Speaking of security, we’re looking to install a home alarm, but we’re not sure which one to get. Do you have any recommendations? Since you also have a dog?”

“Oh, of course! I can’t remember the name of our model, but I remember that one of our criterias was that there are no motion sensors because even though Bubbles mostly sleeps while we’re gone, we really don’t want him to trigger the alarm.”

“Exactly. So we’re looking at an alarm with just door and window sensors?”

“Yeah. I’ll look up the name of ours but I’d honestly recommend getting another brand because we have so little time to enter the code from the moment we unlock the door that it gives me half a heart attack every time.”

You chuckle at the dramatic way she clutches at her heart. “Oh, yeah, that would stress me out too.”

She tilts her head curiously. “How is Fenrir inside when he’s alone? Is he destructive?”

“No, he’s pretty good. He can bark a bit if he hears something outside and he can paw at the door sometimes, but he leaves furniture and such alone.”

“That’s good. He’s not on the windows, then?”

You pretend to think about it, already knowing that Fenrir’s very well behaved and absolutely never up to anything bad whenever he’s alone. “Hm, not that I know of? Maybe if he sees something, I’m sure he could bark and press his nose against it.”

“I’m just asking because I know you can choose an alarm that has window sensors but disable it for specific windows. Did you know that Eunha’s got a cat? He sits at this one window day in and day out, looking at the birds, but if he sees a squirrel in the tree outside, he goes crazy and basically tries to claw his way through the window.”

“Oh, really?” you exclaim curiously, grinning victoriously on the inside.

“Yeah, and their alarm isn’t connected to any kind of first responders or security company just because he sometimes decides to smash his head into any of the other windows too.”

Hyeji laughs and you chuckle along as well, although, you can definitely think of a few more reasons that the Jungs wouldn’t want any sort of authorities visiting their house.

“It just sends alerts and activates their inside cameras. Which is good if there’s a risk that your pet triggered it.”

“Oh, so you can check for yourself? That sounds smart. I’ll look into it with Jaehyun. Thank you.”

“No problem.”

To say that you get back to the Jungs’ with a little extra determination in your step is an understatement.

Jeongguk is still sitting outside at the table with the guys, their passionate voices talking about various sports and athletes sound through the summer night air. The sun set quite some time ago, the tables now only lit by candles and strings of fairy lights hanging from the few trees.

Your discovery lies heavy on your tongue, and you want to tell Jeongguk as soon as possible. He doesn’t notice you and Hyeji walking back to the table until you’re standing at his side. They’re all looking so relaxed, leaning back in the rattan armchairs.

“Hey, uh, honey? I think I’m gonna head back home. It’s getting late, and I’m getting tired.”

He looks up at you and then to Fenrir who sits behind you patiently.

“Oh, already?”

You can tell by his eyes that he wants to stay to work on his own connections, but you feel like the best tactic is to take it slowly and not push too much. Additionally, you’ve already found a huge lead.

The voices are still loud as Jeongguk’s new friends discuss a particular game from five years ago, a few of the remaining wives having gathered at the other end of the table and talking animatedly to each other about something. Hyeji joins them with Bubbles on her lap.

So you make sure no one’s watching too closely, and you lean down.

“I need to talk to you,” you whisper in Jeongguk’s ear.

He pulls back to look at you questioningly, still reluctant to leave so you gesture with your hand for him to lean back in.

“I think I found our way in.”

But the moment after you say it, your gaze travels carefully over the other neighbors and lands on the eyes of Hoseok himself. He’s watching you with something unclear in his gaze.

In a slight panic, you recall the chief’s words, and with no time to second guess yourself, you slide your hand down Jeongguk’s chest, mindlessly toying with the first thing you feel, which happens to be the third button. It’s the first one that’s actually buttoned, and perhaps unfortunately, it accidentally opens under your touch.

“He’s watching,” you explain quietly but rushed into Jeongguk’s ear, and to make sure your act is believable, you press your lips against his cheek and with your other hand coming up on the other side of his face from behind, you tangle your fingers carefully in his hair.

Truthfully, you don’t think Jeongguk minds, otherwise you would’ve definitely been more careful. Well, he’ll probably spend an hour in the shower when you get back, scrubbing his body free from your touch, but he allows it, even encourages it since it’s vital to the mission. 

Along with what the chief said about needing to look in love, Jeongguk’s own words from the first day ring in your head.

“Touch me like you love me” 

Or something like that. So you definitely have his permission.

What shouldn’t surprise you but still does is when he raises his hand to cover yours on his chest, sliding it to the side, underneath the fabric of his half-open shirt.

You let out a shaky breath against the side of his face, hoping, most likely in vain, that he doesn’t notice. His hand is warm over yours, and his chest under your palm is too. The heartbeat you feel is just your own, pulsing through your entire body and to your hand, not his, even though your hand is basically right above it. You honestly aren’t sure he has a heart.

Although knowing you’d see more of him than you ideally wanted, you wouldn’t have guessed that you’d essentially be feeling him up in public like this, but honestly, his body isn’t the problem. 

Somewhere in your mind, you’re already dreading having to sooner or later look him in the eye.

Surprising you even more, you feel his other arm wrap around your waist, somehow tugging you, gasping, onto his lap.

Ending up sitting sideways over his thighs, you decide to make the best out of the situation and look relaxed, leaning back against him. You don’t check if Hoseok’s still watching, but you’d rather play it safe than make him suspect something.

“Did I tell you how pretty you look today? My little wife.”

You try your best to conceal your surprise, but you still feel your eyes widen a tad at Jeongguk’s quiet words. And of course, your cheeks start to heat up even more than before. 

Yeah, you guess that Hoseok must still be watching.

Looking at Jeongguk, meeting his eyes, you almost lose your breath and the leash still grasped in your hand. You get why the chief sent him. 

Jeongguk is probably the officer that hates you the most out of everyone, yet he has no problem gazing up at you like you're his entire world. It’s not that much of a surprise that he’s a god damn talented actor because he’s just good at everything.

You’re in no position to do anything but play along, and you don’t really want to admit it to yourself, but after today and at that specific moment, it doesn’t seem that terrible. 

At first, you’re extremely aware of every little area where you and him are touching, even through your clothes. You’re aware of your breathing and his–both slow and calm, but his feeling just a tad bit more naturally unaffected than yours.

But his embrace is soft yet sturdy, and he has the audacity to slowly and softly rub your back and sometimes your shoulder. Ten minutes pass just like that.

And you’re tired. So incredibly exhausted. You’ve barely slept at all, and strangely enough, you don’t feel threatened at the moment despite being surrounded by dangerous people.

So you drift off. Right then and there, in the arms of the man that despises your very being–your head resting right by his neck–and in the backyard of one of the country’s most accomplished robbers. One of them will for sure be the death of you, and you don't think it will be Hoseok.

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<3<3<3

WHAT🧍‍♀️

dextrocardia | 08

Dextrocardia. Originally a medical term, but also a way to describe someone who's got their heart in the right place.

"She's been moved to another operation to help out. This pairing is necessary because you'll be undercover as spouses. I know you two can be professional about this."

"What?!" It's Jeongguk's upset voice that sounds, and for once, you share his displeased opinion.

Spouses.

pairing: cop!jk x f detective!reader

genre: undercover cops, fake marriage, e2l au, angst, fluff, smut

word count: 6.3k

warnings: a lot of talk about assault of different kinds (sexual included), harrassment, sexism, there's blood and very serious injuries, trauma heavy. if you feel very bothered reading stuff like that, please skip this <3

rating: NC-17 – Adults Only

masterlist

part 8/? 

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© dextrocardia is copyright jeonstudios. this fic can not be modified, re-posted, or translated without my permission.

“Answer me. You’re a double agent?!”

You’re too terrified to be embarrassed by the way you’re trembling, sitting on the floor in your pair of black cotton shorts and gray t-shirt, pressing your back against the wall furthest from the door. Not that nor the tears that start to wet your lashes and soon enough roll down your cheeks.

Despite not being too surprised, you’re obviously not any less scared.

“Please don’t,” you beg, your vision starting to become blurry from tears, “you don’t have to do this. Please, Jeongguk.”

You focus on the silhouette of him, the dark blue dress shirt and black pants. “I know what I did was wrong, I know, but I didn’t know what else to do. He was pressing t–too hard, and I couldn’t breathe.”

Tears and fear block your throat, and your heart beats a thousand beats a minute, but you try your best to get the words out, try to convince him even though you know it’s a lost cause.

“I know I’m not im–important or pretty, but I didn’t want to die. What was I supposed to do? My hand slipped out, and I–I just reached for his g–gun.” 

Wiping the tears with your wrist, you see how he changes tactics, the way Jeongguk’s eyes have gone from furious to looking worried. How he’s put on his acting face.

“What… what are you talking about?” he asks, voice void of any anger as he takes another step toward you. “I didn’t mean to raise my voice or scare you, I’m sorry, but what… are you talking about?”

Quickly reaching for the razor blade in your bra, you accidentally cut your finger when you remove the blade from its case. Blood drips down your hand as you raise it in a pathetic warning.

“Don’t come any closer,” you try to sound confident, but maybe it is a bit embarrassing how your voice shakes and your hand is so unsteady that you have to support it with the other. “Please, just let me go, Jeongguk? I’m pulling the report, and I’ve apologized. If you let me go, I’ll disappear tonight, okay? You won’t ever have to see me again.”

Your gaze is drawn to the knife still gripped by his veiny hand, and so is his. A second later, he tosses the knife to the other side of the room where it hits the floor with a clinking sound and looks to bounce underneath the bed, closer to you than him, as if he wouldn’t still be able to reach it before you.

“What… report?” he asks, sinking down to one knee, still only a few steps into the room. “What are you talking about?”

But you’re not fooled by those pretty eyes, and it frustrates you how he thinks he can look at you softly and have you forget everything. It lives permanently in the back of your mind. The threats, the attempts, the fear, and now ultimately, the defeat.

“Stop pretending, Jeongguk,” you plead, sniffling. “We both know what this is. If you’re going to do it, just… get it over with. Please. Don’t play with me like this.”

Like he’s thinking hard, maybe even realizing something, his eyes lose focus, and he stands up.

“You’re talking about Hoseong, aren’t you?”

You’re quiet—well, as quiet as a crying, pathetic mess can be—when he looks down at you. You’re not sure what it is that he’s hoping for, if it’s for you to lower your guard and vulnerably crawl into his arms or if he’s deliberately trying to provoke you to get a reaction that he can answer. You meet his eyes with your razor blade slowly lowered, and he waits for something, his eyes searching yours for answers he already knows. But you can’t give them, and he backs out of the room with you still trembling on the floor.

Raindrops smatter against the windshield as Jeongguk drives toward the city.

His phone dings with a text, and he raises it, reading the preview.

He sets his course toward a more specific goal. A bar.

It’s long since dark when he steps out of the car, locking it behind him and looking around. It took him around forty-five minutes to reach the well known destination, and he spent them all in silence, his thoughts loud enough.

The wet pavement reflects light from the streetlights and a few neon signs, and Jeongguk walks with determined steps up to the door and pushes it open, placing the car keys into his breast pocket for easy access.

Inside, it’s busy as usual. People are sitting in booths or on bar stools around round tables or the bar itself, and they’re laughing, chatting loudly and singing along to the music.

Not long after entering, Jeongguk spots them. His friends. There’s three of them, sitting around a circular table.

“JK, hey!” Seunghwan calls, alcohol evident in his flushed cheeks.

Jeongguk nods in a neutral greeting, coming to stand before their table. Hoseong tips his bottle of beer slightly to the side, looking at him curiously. 

“Thought you were shipped out? How’s it going?” he speaks loudly over the music. “Can’t believe you got her to apologize, man,” he grins, leaning back.

“Had to ask you a few things,” Jeongguk answers at the same volume, finding it harder than he thought to keep his emotions at bay, “about her, actually.”

 Hoseong and Ryung both raise their eyebrows, but Jeongguk continues. “I want to know what happened that night. When you got shot.”

Although looking surprised, Hoseong still lets a smile pull on his lips. “Well, I fucked her. You know that, and she got pissed because I wasn’t interested in being her boyfriend.”

Seunghwan chuckles, but Jeongguk doesn’t find it funny.

“You ‘fucked her?’” he repeats. He knew that, but this time, he’s looking at the situation in a new light. 

“Yeah, I fucked her,” Hoseong shrugs, toning it down just a tad, like he’s suspecting where Jeongguk is taking the conversation.

“Well, did she want you to ‘fuck her?’ Did she threaten you with the gun because you turned her down, and you were shot by accident?” Jeongguk stares at the person he thought was his friend. “Or was it intentional?”

For about two seconds, Hoseong just looks at Jeongguk like he’s… assessing something, and Jeongguk isn’t sure how the man in front of him will react.

But he leans back again, rolling his eyes lightheartedly. “Oh, come on, man, don’t be like that. You know how women are these days, they want to be tied up and fucked, but when you don’t want her to call you ‘sweetie pie’ and hold hands, they scream ‘rape.’”

Jeongguk holds his breath for a second, trying to keep his cool. He looks around at the unsuspecting environment. “Let’s talk outside, I can barely hear you in here.”

Before he turns on his heel, heading back toward the exit, he sees Hoseong stand from the barstool nonchalantly.

It doesn’t rain anymore, and the outside air is a lot colder than the sweaty atmosphere inside. Somehow, the difference in sound level makes the situation all that more real. Jeongguk walks away from the entrance to give them some privacy, not to be nice but to maximize his chances of getting the entire story.

“You forced yourself on her, didn’t you?” he turns around, putting his clenched fists in his pockets. Hoseong and Ryung followed, but Seunghwan stayed behind. “You tied her up in the hotel room you were staked out in for that case, and you raped her. She got free and shot you in self-defense. Am I getting close?”

“You’re overreacting, dude. You know she was in love with me, right?”

Jeongguk feels his anger and frustration grow, but he tries to keep calm. “I knew that she loved you, yes, but it doesn’t mean she automatically wanted to sleep with you. She filed a report too, didn’t she? What happened with that?”

Hoseong shrugs indifferently, and it’s unclear if he doesn’t know or doesn’t care. Or maybe he just doesn’t want Jeongguk to know. Jeongguk shakes his head in disbelief and turns around. He needs to leave before he does something stupid.

Ryung calls his name, but Jeongguk is already walking back to the car briskly. He gets into the driver’s seat, slams the door shut, and starts the car, and when he glances back in the rearview mirror, he sees the people he thought he knew standing close together, talking. They’re looking his way.

The drive back is tortuous and slow. Jeongguk navigates back out of the city with ease, but then he’s stuck on the freeway with nothing and no one else but himself and his thoughts. He’s been living a lie ever since he started his current job, and slowly but surely, his brain puts all the pieces together. The pieces he has—some, he’s certainly still missing.

In a fit of rage and despair, he gives the steering wheel three harsh and undeserved hits with his palm, the horn blaring each time.

“Oh, God,” he whispers, shutting his eyes for a microsecond. What has he done? What has he done, what the fuck has he done?

He bites his lip, reaching for the phone he threw onto the passenger side, his eyes alternating between the road and Google, where he’s searching for a phone number.

Your limbs are frozen and your senses both feel like they’re hyper tuned to your surroundings and numb all at once. You don’t know when Jeongguk left–actually, you’re not even certain that he did leave. Sure, you heard the door close and the car drive off, but he could’ve parked it a few houses down and snuck back inside somehow, waiting somewhere in the dark for you to lower your guard. Somewhere in the back of your mind, you hear Fenrir bark, but all you can focus on is that dark doorway.

Then, you hear sounds. A car door, then the front door. Fenrir stops barking, and your worry grows. Then, there are steps, and someone is coming for you. Is it Jeongguk? Or did he leave you to one of his friends? Is it Hoseong? Unable to stop them, tears start to flow again. You promised yourself you’d meet your end with at least a bit of dignity, but you’re not that brave, evidently.

It’s Jeongguk who appears in the doorway, his hair and clothes slightly wet. You look behind him, waiting for the rest of his colleagues to come into view, but they don’t.

“Hey,” he greets quietly, looking like he’s trying to appear non-threatening, but you remember hearing him promise his friends to put you in your place, show you that it’s a man’s world you’re living in. 

Put an end to it. He’s certainly tried before.

You press yourself impossibly closer to the wall as he takes another step into the room. You’ve cheated death four times–that you know of–but you won’t be able to this time.

“I’m not going to hurt you, okay?”

It doesn’t matter that his brown eyes look kind and soft, they’re not, and he doesn’t care for you. He thinks you’re ugly, doesn’t think anyone could ever want or love you. He only cares about him, his friends, and their pride. He thinks that you should’ve died that night, and he made you apologize for surviving.

Now he’s just playing with his food. 

“Stop, don’t come any closer. I’m warning you,” you panic, raising the blade again.

Jeongguk stops, and his eyes land on your other hand, on the nick in the skin of your ring finger. “You’re still bleeding.”

He takes another slow step, and another. You keep your terrified eyes on him, but you’re sure he can tell that with every step of his, your trembling worsens.

“Please stop playing this game with me,” you plead, tears rolling down your cheeks. He won, they all did, can’t he just put you out of your misery?

“I’m not playing. Here, let me look at your finger.”

He’s so close now that he sinks to one knee and holds his hand out. You’re still gripping the razor blade, but he obviously doesn’t think you’ll actually cut him. You don’t make any move to let him see the hand you’ve put in your lap, so as slow as he can, Jeongguk reaches for it, himself.

You don’t have the courage to fight him. Logically, you know it’s your skin that’s freezing cold, probably due to shock, but his skin is burning against you when he grabs your hand. He must feel every little tremble as well. You shut your eyes. It helps not seeing him, but you still smell him, feel him around you.

“I can’t hurt you. You knew that,” your shaky mess of a voice states your discovery quietly.

Just… any second now. A blow to your head, or a knife to your throat. You made a breakthrough in the case, so he doesn’t need you anymore. He’s going to end your life, plant whatever weapon he uses at the Jung’s, and frame them for your murder. An undercover mission gone wrong–they found out about your real identities and killed you. Jeongguk escaped, and he gets the glory of clearing the case and putting the bank robbers and subsequent murderers behind bars. Not to mention the relief of knowing you’ll take the truth to the grave, and the new chief, whoever they are, will be none the wiser.

“Where’s Fenrir? What did you do to him?” you whisper, breathing becoming more difficult by the second as you’re imagining all the ways he could kill you.

Surprisingly, Jeongguk lets go of your hand and stands up, backing a few steps. You chance a glance at him and see that he looks worried–there’s a crease in his forehead and his eyes are wide. 

“I haven’t done anything to him. He’s in the backyard.”

So he’s dead then. You don’t comment on it, instead you shut your eyes as another wave of tears runs down your cheeks. Like before, the rate at which you’re breathing increases, and you feel lightheaded, even as you’re sitting down.

“I’m not going to hurt you, okay?” he mumbles, and the sound of movement has you peeking in fear. “Just… hold on.”

For some reason, he’s backing out of the room, leaving you once again in the limbo of not knowing what he’s planning. The rain beats harshly against the roof, and the sound of thunder makes you jump. You hate storms, nothing good ever happens during them.

You feel yourself going insane, waiting for him, but he’s not gone for long this time. Do you prefer him in the room with you? At least then you know where he is and what he’s doing. It makes you anxious, not knowing. Maybe he’s pouring gasoline over the furniture, waiting to light a match?

Surprisingly, you watch as he returns to round the bed–away from you–and approaches the dresser. He rummages through the top drawer, searching for something, until he finds it and turns around. 

It’s when you see him, rounding the bed again–towards you–with the handcuffs in hand that you scramble back along the wall and into the corner. You remember how he teased you about it, arrogantly offering to tie you up, cuff you to the bed. If he’s planning on resuming what Hoseong started…

Noticing your distress, Jeongguk’s eyes grow wider, and he stops and stands in front of the bed with his hands raised.

“Oh, no, no, they’re not for you,” he explains, looking at you, sitting terrified in the corner. His eyes move from you to the silvery cuffs dangling from his hand and back again. “He cuffed you, didn’t he? Hoseong?”

You’re not sure where he’s going with it, but your guess has evolved. He wants to act sweet and like he cares so that you’ll give in and he can do whatever he wants to punish you, gloating about how he managed to trick you. The dumb feminazi falling for it and thinking he cares for her.

“Look.”

You do, watching anxiously as he opens one side of the handcuffs and locks it around his wrist. The other side, he closes around the metal bed frame, leaving about two yards between you. He sits down and throws the key, which lands at your feet.

“I can’t hurt you.”

You don’t think about the fact that even if the bed probably weighs a ton, Jeongguk could surely pull it with him if he wanted to reach you. No, you don’t know what you’re thinking about, if anything, you’re just so overwhelmed and scared and relieved that you barely have time to reach for the empty, gray plant pot before you’re throwing up. It’s just bile, proof that it’s been a while since you’ve eaten anything. 

Another thing you haven’t done is sleep. And for your poor, terrified, starved, and sleep-deprived body, it’s too much. As carefully as you can when the room is spinning, and someone is speaking in the background, you lie down, your cheek against the cold floor, and you pass out.

You’re still absolutely exhausted when you come to. It takes a while for your eyes to even open, and you can guess what a mess you must look like. Your head is pounding, surely from dehydration, and your entire body aches. At least some parts of you don’t feel that cold anymore–someone has thrown a duvet from the bed over you, covering your body pretty well except for your left foot and your right shoulder. You’re not trembling anymore, not even as your eyes find Jeongguk.

You’re not sure how much time has passed, but he’s still sitting there, across from you with his wrist cuffed to the bed. He’s moved the bedside table away in order to lean his back against the wall. He hasn’t noticed that you’re awake yet–after all, you haven’t moved–and he keeps his eyes on his right hand that he rests atop his knees, his feet flat against the floor. 

You can’t help but think that he looks like he’s waiting patiently for something, maybe the train, worried that it might be late but understanding that there’s no use in pacing. As you observe him tiredly, you notice something very faintly, so faintly you’re not sure if you’re imagining it. It almost looks as if his eyes are puffier than usual, maybe just a tad bit red too. Like how people look when they were crying a long time ago. Now that you think about it, his hair looks a little messier than usual, and he’s unbuttoned a few buttons on his shirt, as well as the sleeves that he’s rolled up a tad.

A chill runs through your body, and slowly, you pull the duvet closer around your body, notifying Jeongguk of your consciousness.

“Are we waiting for your friends?” your voice is so strained, it comes out as a whisper.

He looks at you, smiling the saddest little smile you’ve ever seen on anyone, and he shakes his head. “No, I called Jihyo, and she’s on her way to pick you up. It’ll take her a while to get here but she’s on her way.”

You narrow your tired eyes slightly. He’s lying.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know,” he apologizes gently. “If I had, I wouldn’t…”

It’s the way he looks bothered that almost has you believing him. But you know just how good of an actor he is. He has despised you ever since he arrived at the district, commented on you and your body with disgust. Yet, you’ve seen how he’s capable of holding your hand in his, kissing you gently and like he means it. Only to go back to insulting you. 

“Everyone knows,” you state quietly, calling his bluff.

“I didn’t. And I’d never dream of hurting you, I promise.”

“You hate me more than anyone, Jeongguk.”

It really is true. Jeongguk obviously feels immense loyalty to his friends, and he’d do anything for them. He’s been one of the most vocal ones, letting everyone know just what a terrible, disgusting, worthless person you are.

“And I’ve gotten to know you pretty well since you transferred, especially here. You can say how sorry you are and how you didn’t know all you want, but I know you’re lying. I hurt your friend and now, with the chief retiring, I’m a threat. What would happen if the new chief is a woman and our station’s little secret gets out? Pretty unlikely, but not impossible, right?”

You swallow, blinking away tears. “You can lie all you want but we both know I was never going to make it back home.”

There’s something that looks like pain in his brown eyes as he watches you.

“I don’t hate you. I thought I did because–fuck–I thought the chief was protecting you by not dealing with the problem, not that he was protecting him. Us.”

His frustration turns into something reminding you of guilt when he continues. “You have no idea how sorry I am. And I can promise you, it’s never occurred to me to hurt you. Not physically, at least. I know I’ve been a dick to you–which is obviously coming back to bite me now–and I wanted to make you feel bad for what I thought you did, but I’d never want to injure you. No one has any plans on doing so.”

His words make you chuckle even though it’s not fun in the least. 

“What?” he looks confused.

“Do you think I’m stupid? Not only have I found the trackers you’ve put on my car, but you’ve tampered with the brakes on it three times in the last months. My mechanic keeps bugging me about filing a report, saying I shouldn’t drive any car for my own safety. How do I explain to her that I can’t exactly go to the police?”

Jeongguk only stares at you, and it makes you all the more frustrated.

“Obviously, I can’t say exactly which one of you is doing it, or who it is standing across the street from my home, just watching, late at night sometimes. Or whose breathing it is on the phone calls. Do you remember like three months ago when I made the mistake of getting coffee and stopping by the printer, leaving my mug unsupervised for three minutes? Who was it that put the fucking cyanide in it? You can tell them that it left a bit of suspiciously chunky foam on the surface.”

“Cyanide?”

“Yeah. Had it tested. You can also tell whoever it is that keeps throwing poisoned meat into my yard that I always check it before letting Fenrir out.”

Jeongguk is quiet, looking like someone just turned his world upside down.

“You really meant it when you said you thought I’d poison your food if you let me cook. That’s why you barely sleep too, right? You’re scared I’m going to hurt you. You brought the razor blades and the dog for me, didn’t you? You’re more scared of me than of the suspects.”

“Why on earth do you think I have a trained personal protection Doberman to begin with?”

Jeongguk puts his face in his free hand, “Fuck, I’m so stupid. I had no idea.”

“Yeah,” you agree quietly, closing your eyes for a second. You know Jeongguk is only playing with you because there’s just no chance he’s gone so long being besties with a rapist and attempted murderer without knowing. Partaking in harassment without knowing the reason why? No, no way. But does it matter at the moment? No, probably not.

“Why did you agree to come here?” he asks, sounding almost… helpless? “If you thought it was a setup?”

“Well,” you start, pain spreading through your exhausted body. Your lips pull into a small, sad smile. “I can’t exactly decline anything at work or I won’t have a job to go to. With the kind of letter of recommendation the chief would leave me, no one else would hire me. Besides, we both know I wouldn’t be safe just by quitting.”

The smile fades, and a tear escapes the corner of your eyes, dropping toward the floor. “And frankly… I can’t do it anymore. It’s been two years, and it only escalates. I don’t have the energy to always look over my shoulder, or lock and barricade my doors and windows at night. I can’t afford to have my car fixed every or every other month, and one day, I’ll miss something, or you’ll go after my mother. It’s just a matter of time.”

“So you… came here, convinced that… I was going to kill you?”

Slowly, you move a hand to your face, wiping the tear away. “Yeah. I mean, I always hoped things wouldn’t end up this way. Or that, at least I could defend myself from… prolonged pain. But at the same time, I knew nothing would change. And I… I promised myself that I’d try my best to be brave and not fight it cause it’s going to happen sooner or later, but… well, I’m evidently not very brave. I’m a coward, coming here to die but still fighting it and begging you to spare my life.”

Then again, the last couple of days have made you doubt yourself. If Jeongguk came after you with a knife, could you… hurt him? With Hoseong, it was a no-brainer, and you fought for your life on pure instinct, only making a conscious effort not to shoot him where he wouldn’t survive it. 

But Jeongguk? He hates your guts, finds you disgusting, and is a man like them all. But as you look at him now, you see the way he held baby Doyun’s hand at the barbeque, and you see him playing and cuddling with Fenrir when no one’s looking. You remember the feeling of his hair between your fingers as he rests his head in your lap, and his gentle hands around your waist. You walked into the trap, and you got trapped. You couldn’t hurt him.

“So, I’m essentially your… terminal illness,” he speaks, looking at you sadly. Your eyes widen. “Eunha told me; said she wanted me to take care of my wife. But you’re not sick, are you?”

“No.”

“Fuck,” he shuts his eyes tightly before opening them and looking straight at you with a pained look, “I know you don’t believe me, but I’ve never regretted anything more in my entire life. I thought I was doing the right thing, but instead, I–fuck, I made you apologize? For–”

He hides his face in his free hand again. “I am so sorry.”

It’s hard not to believe him when he looks and sounds so genuine, but you’ve experienced his talent before. Not only that, but he’s a man–he’s not capable of caring for you.

“You said you called Jihyo?” you speak, ignoring his fake apology. 

He removes his hand from his face and nods. “Yeah, she should be here in an hour or so, I think.”

“Okay, say you actually did, why would you? She’d bring unwanted attention and risk unnecessary suspicion. Or maybe you’re just trying to kill two birds with one stone, literally?”

Jeongguk’s face remains soft even as you’re practically insulting him.

“I called her to pick you up because you trust her, and this is no place for you to be right now.”

“But you’re risking the mission. We’ve got a breakthrough but it isn’t all the way through yet, and the bugs still have almost a week’s worth of battery life left. The last thing you want is for them to become suspicious and search for the bugs.”

You don’t know why you’re so intent on letting him know just how thoroughly you see through him. Perhaps you’re simply so used to always having to prove yourself, your capacity and intelligence around men that you can’t let him think you’re nothing more than a dumb girl. You saw through everything, and he needs to know that. 

“You think I give a fuck about the mission when I literally just saw you throw up because you’re so scared of me? I’ve handcuffed myself to the bed, but you’re still shaking in the corner, looking terrified.”

At his words, you realize he’s right. You didn’t even notice the return of the tremors, and they’re not because you’re cold underneath the duvet. Thunder sounds again.

“I promise you,” he starts, looking into your eyes with what looks like a determined sort of kindness, “I’ll do my very best to make things right.”

You wouldn’t have known what to say even if you weren’t interrupted by the sound of a car. Worried but still relieved to finally see Jihyo, you carefully sit up, and then you stand, feeling weak but almost… hopeful. Maybe you’ll get out alive, after all?

But that hope is soon replaced by an ice cold chill running down your spine and filling your stomach as you peer out through the window and onto the cars that have stopped below. It’s not Jihyo. 

You take a step back from the window right as at least two men are exiting the cars, one holding an aluminum baseball bat.

“You… you called… your friends,” you state quietly, feeling dumb for not foreseeing it. He was stalling, and you fell for it. “You’ll be taking turns until I…”

Jeongguk says something, a few rushed sentences, but you’re already exiting the room, not entirely sure why or what your plan is. The sound of his handcuffs rustling against the bed frame sounds as you’re descending the stairs onto the dark bottom floor. 

Should you try to find a way out? Is there one? Jeongguk is stuck upstairs, but you stand no chance against even one man in your current state. Not to mention that you’re unarmed. Where’d Jeongguk’s knife go? Your razor blade? Last you remember, you had it before you passed out. 

You’re so in your thoughts that you don’t hear the footsteps closing in on you from behind. 

“I confronted them, and I guess they’re mad. We’ll go out back, okay?” a familiar voice speaks quietly right above your ear, making you jump. “I promise I’m not going to hurt you, just come with me.”

You turn around, meeting Jeongguk’s eyes. He holds his hand out, no trace of the cuffs. How did he get free?

“I saw them from the window, and there’s four of them. They’re surely armed with more than just the baseball bat, but we might manage to sneak out through the back if we hurry.”

You look at his hand in the darkness.

“Trust me,” he encourages gently, “I’ve got you.”

For some odd reason, you meet his honest-looking but also worried and stressed eyes. And you put your hand in his. It’s warm, and he starts to pull you with him towards the back door.

However, stopping you in your tracks, one of the kitchen windows has been left open, and hushed voices sound through the crack.

“Absolutely no shots, okay? In and out, basically.”

Well, you guess that’s a good thing? You and Jeongguk exchange glances, and he mumbles something about his own gun being in the car. You’re just about to continue when the front door is unlocked. They have a key? Fuck, they must’ve gone to the station in search of the address and key before coming here.

The door glides open, and in steps Hoseong. And then Ryung with Seunghwan in tow. The last person inside is Junseo.

Hoseong stops when he spots you, a smile breaking out on his lips. “Well…”

“Leave,” Jeongguk orders, pulling you behind his body. A thousand thoughts are swirling around in your head, but you’re none the wiser. Any minute now, Jeongguk could start laughing at how you thought he’d protect you. Or, he could be genuine, but what sucks about that scenario is that there’s no way Jeongguk could take them all. Four against one.

“We can’t. Look, I thought we got each other, Jeongguk? Bros before hoes and all that? Correct me if I’m wrong, but it seems like you might be causing us some trouble?”

Peeking from behind Jeongguk, you’re really not a fan of how Hoseong twists the bat in his hand, and your heart is freaking out.

“Technically, you caused the trouble all by yourself,” Jeongguk argues, visibly furious.

Then, before you know it, Hoseong lunges, and Jeongguk pushes you back, out of the way before he’s dodging too. Your heart is in your throat as you watch Hoseong swing at Jeongguk multiple times, Jeongguk dodging all of them before finding an opening and delivering a swift blow to Hosoeng’s head. Behind them, you spot Ryung’s dark eyes locking onto you, and you gulp.

All while Jeongguk somehow manages to grab the bat–which is good considering he’s fighting both Hoseong and Seonghwan–Ryung waits for his opening. Junseo, you don’t even know where he went.

Ryung’s chance comes when Jeongguk aims a powerful kick at Hoseong’s side, sending him flying into the kitchen table and knocking two of the chairs over and Jeongguk to the floor. Hoseong wheezes, like he got the wind knocked out of him.

Ryung decides to take the opportunity, setting off for you, but before he can reach you, he’s intercepted, Jeongguk’s wide shoulders knocking him off his path and into the fridge. While he gets back up, Jeongguk bashes Seunghwan’s head against the countertop once, and he falls down, groaning in pain. Jeongguk is about to follow, but Ryung grabs his shoulders, and manages to get Jeongguk on the ground and climb on top of him. 

You watch as Jeongguk swings the bat, Ryung catching it, but as his hands are preoccupied with it, Jeongguk uses all his strength and connects his fist with Ryung’s face so hard that you hear things crack and see blood spurt. As a result, Ryung falls off and to the floor, lying on his side. 

It’s at that moment you spot Junseo. He’s at Hoseong’s side–Hoseong who’s just gotten up–and is giving him something. Hoseong’s sinister and angry eyes find yours as he accepts the samurai sword.

Then, he’s running. 

It doesn’t take more than a split second for you to decide. You shut your eyes, preparing for the pain and the force that will surely knock you over. The force comes first, but there’s no pain, at least not for a while. It’s like Hoseong is… hugging you?

Surprised, you open your eyes, only to see that the person holding you in their arms is not Hoseong. It’s Jeongguk. Then, you become aware of the pain, a sort of… uncomfortable pin prick to your chest, only bigger? 

You look down between your bodies. There’s a hole in your t-shirt and you’re pretty sure the wetness on your skin is blood. What happened? 

Jeongguk coughs above you, and that’s when you see that the tip of the sword that’s digging into your skin is coming out of his chest. 

Even in your shocked state, you recognize the shape of the item he’s shakily stuffing into your hand. The car key.

“You need to…” he starts, his voice strained. He stumbles, and you see blood coloring his bottom lip. “...Get out of here.”

Suddenly, he groans loudly, and you feel the sword scratch your skin before Jeongguk is sinking to his knees. Behind him, Hoseong is twisting the handle roughly. Then, he lets go, letting Jeongguk’s body fall limply to the floor.

“See what you made me do?” Hoseong hisses at you, stepping over Jeongguk.

He’s caught off guard when you kick him, aiming your foot for the exact spot in which you shot him two years ago. He stumbles, his knee hitting the floor, but then he surprises you by grabbing your foot, and you fall, hitting your head against the floor. You groan in pain, lying flat on your back and seeing Hoseong stand up above you.

But before he can end you, there are gunshots. 

You’re not looking, but you hear Hoseong shout in pain, then a lot of shuffling and two other male voices you can’t quite place. 

All that you’re seeing is Jeongguk. He lies beside you, on his stomach, the long samurai sword he hung on that wall himself sticking out from his back. There’s blood, a lot of it. Some from his mouth and more from his chest and his back. You don’t need to examine him more to know that he’s already dead, that sword went straight through his heart with no chance of missing it, and there’s no surviving that. 

A face comes into view above you, and it takes your pounding head a good second to recognize it. Yoongi.

He meets your teary yet defeated eyes, and you open your mouth. “He’s dead.”

It’s both a question and a quiet statement, the side of your hand touching the side of Jeongguk’s. His eyes are closed, his face blank and void of any life, and you feel empty inside.

Through blurry tears, you see Yoongi look Jeongguk over. Then, gently and with a sad crease between his eyebrows, he nods. Abandoning Jeongguk’s lifeless body, he instead focuses on you. He tries to keep you awake, but something wet and warm pools underneath your own head, and soon enough, you can’t keep your eyes open any longer.

<previous | next>

hey pals... let me know what you think RIP <3

Now - THAT - is a confession. Oof. I’m drowning in feels after reading this. These poor babies. Separated by misunderstanding and misplaced anger. I can’t wait for them to find healing together.

dextrocardia | 15

Dextrocardia. Originally a medical term, but also a way to describe someone who's got their heart in the right place.

"She's been moved to another operation to help out. This pairing is necessary because you'll be undercover as spouses. I know you two can be professional about this."

"What?!" It's Jeongguk's upset voice that sounds, and for once, you share his displeased opinion.

Spouses.

pairing: cop!jk x f detective!reader

genre: undercover cops, fake marriage, e2l au, angst, fluff, (smut?)

word count: 6k

warnings: self-esteem issues, feelings

rating: NC-17 – Adults Only

masterlist

part 15/? 

<previous | next>

© dextrocardia is copyright jeonstudios. this fic can not be modified, re-posted, or translated without my permission.

The ride home lasts ten minutes, during which you’re holding back tears the entire time. It’s only when you’re finally inside your own apartment that you let them fall. It doesn’t help to see Fenrir’s collar and leash hanging next to your jackets, or his bowls still on the floor. In a way, it feels like you’re back at square one. 

You know you promised Jeongguk you’d call Jihyo, but you don’t, knowing she’d disapprove of you being on your own probably just as much as he does. Still, realizing that sooner or later you’ll need to either get back to work or find another job, you send her a text, asking if there’s any case for you to work on remotely until you’re ready to return fully.

The first night back is emotional, but you’re relieved to finally be home.

“I don’t think it matters how hard you throw it,” a worried Jimin watches Jeongguk hurl a dart at the dartboard. “Actually, I’m pretty sure you’d see better results if you didn’t throw it like an Olympic javelin thrower.”

Jeongguk doesn’t reply, just rolls his eyes and grabs another dart. The music around them is surprisingly quiet, drowned out by the chatter of the bustling bar.

“So, care to tell me what’s up with him?” Jin asks, nodding toward Jeongguk as he sets the three pints of beer on the table and takes a seat. 

“His little lady left him,” Jimin explains sadly, sliding one of the pints closer to Jeongguk.

“Oh. Why? You weren’t a couple, were you?” Jin asks.

“No,” is all Jeongguk mutters before he heads over to the dartboard to retrieve the darts. He has three of them, but only one actually hit the board; the other two embarrassingly stuck to the wood-paneled wall. From the marks already there, he’s at least not the first terrible dart-thrower. When he returns to the table with all the darts in hand, he pushes his designated pint back toward Jimin. “Can’t drink.”

Jimin meets his eyes, looking defeated. Jeongguk already explained that when you’re not with him, he can’t risk being drunk in case you need him. If you called, saying Hoseong had found you, Jeongguk would not hesitate to get on his bike or in his car, no matter how much he’s had to drink, and driving under the influence is something he’d rather avoid.

“She’s scared of me,” he repeats what you told him a few nights ago. Hearing the words from his own mouth stings less, but his heart still aches and his blood boils. He throws another dart but misses the board, and it sticks to the wall a few inches left of it. 

“Wait. What do you mean?” Jin asks, confusion written all over his face.

“Yeah. Although I’m pretty sure she hasn’t ruled out that I’ll just snap one day and kill her, she’s mostly scared that I’ll want to hurt her emotionally.”

“But why would you? I thought you two were doing alright? I mean, she’s been living with you for, what, the last month?”

“We were. Or at least, I thought so. She kissed me, and we were… getting closer, but I guess it freaked her out.”

“Why?”

“Remember how I told you I was horrible to her before I found out what Hoseong had done? Yeah, the things I said… they were inhumane.”

“What did you say?”

Jeongguk throws another dart, swinging his arm and using way too much force. “What haven’t I said? I’ve told her that she’s too ugly for me to look at, that she needs to stop eating, that she’s incompetent, and that she basically deserved being trafficked if only the traffickers would take her. That’s the short version.”

“Fuck, man,” Jimin breathes in disbelief. Jeongguk told him what happened ages ago but not explicitly what he’d said to you.

“Yeah. I just… I wanted her to hurt, to pay for what I thought she’d done, but she never seemed affected. I’d call her something, and she’d flip me off or glare at me or call me an idiot or whatever, but she never… I thought she didn’t care, so the next time I saw her, I said something worse. But I wouldn’t have, obviously, if I… If I… knew.”

Jin puts his glass down, wiping the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand. “I mean, I haven’t met her, but isn’t she, like, objectively very pretty? From what I’ve heard?”

“Yeah, she is,” Jeongguk sighs. “Which is also why I didn’t think she’d take it to heart, ‘cause what I said isn’t true in the slightest.” 

“But can’t she see how pathetically in love you are? No offense,” Jimin asks. “I mean, I take it you’ve apologized and probably told her what you really think? She doesn’t trust that?”

Jeongguk falls silent as he retrieves the darts again, shamefully avoiding eye contact with his friends on his way back.

“Wait, you haven’t apologized?”

“Of course I have,” he argues before lowering his voice. “I just kinda… fucked it up.”

He feels the confused stares of his friends. “I’ve apologized many, many times for how I treated her, and she seemed to kinda accept that? But I never explicitly apologized for the things I said. Nor have I told her how I actually feel about her.”

He sees how Jimin is about to tell him exactly what he thinks about that, but Jeongguk cuts him off before he's able to.

“After I somehow convinced her to stay with me, I thought carefully about how to act around her. I thought that it would be better to apologize for… everything. I thought ‘I’m sorry for how I treated you’ would cover it. And I didn’t want her to second-guess my intentions, so I didn’t actually tell her what I really think.”

“You mean ‘second-guess your intentions’ as in…” Jin trails off.

“As in think that I chose to help her because I was interested in her. I didn’t want her to think I had an agenda or to feel like she’d owe me in any way. She hasn’t had the best experience with men—men in law enforcement, especially—so I wanted to be as… safe, I guess, as possible for her. I didn’t realize she was still thinking about it, taking what I said as the truth.”

Jimin sighs. “So she thinks you might still consider her the ugliest creature to walk the earth is what you’re saying?”

“Apparently. I tried to convince her before she left, but of course, it didn’t seem genuine. I don’t blame her.”

A bit more optimistic, Jin tilts his head. “You don’t think she’ll believe you if you just tell her exactly what you just told us?”

But Jeongguk lets his shoulders slump. “I don’t think so. She told me I scare her because I have a desire to hurt anyone who wrongs me, and she doesn’t feel like she can read me. And I believe her. I wanted to hurt her, and during the mission, I had to pretend to love her when I really didn’t, so I kept switching up on her.”

The atmosphere shifts from frustrated and sad to just sad as Jeongguk runs his thumb over the dart in his hand.

“I lose either way. If I tell her that what I said back then was true, then I think she’s ugly, and I wanted to hurt her by saying so. But if I say that I lied and that she’s really the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, then I still wanted to hurt her. And after everything she’s been through, she doesn’t want a man with a desire to hurt.”

“But like you said, you didn’t mean to hurt her to that point, more so to be taken down a notch? And it got out of hand?”

“Is there a difference? I’ve hurt her, probably beyond what is salvageable, and she thinks I’m still capable of that; that if we disagree on something, I might turn on her.”

With a deep breath, you pull open the doors to the police station one chilly Monday morning, the sky outside gray and heavy with the threat of snow. It’s been three weeks since you came home, and though Jihyo put up a fight, she eventually agreed to let you stay.

Since months have passed, and you still haven’t caught Hoseong and his crew, you figure you might as well try to get back to normal. So you started planning your return to work, but then Christmas came, which you spent at your mother’s, two hours away.

Jihyo also agreed not to tell Jeongguk about your living arrangements, per your desperate request. You’d rather not deal with his savior complex, and you know he’d park outside your building if he thought you were in danger. You scoff to yourself, but almost immediately, guilt settles in. A savior complex isn’t why he’s worried about you; he’s just a good guy. You know that. Still, you don’t want him to know.

Walking through the station at nine a.m.—on your way to Jihyo’s office to discuss your new assignment—you almost hold your breath. Some officers glance your way, still not used to seeing you back, and maybe even less used to seeing you without Jeongguk. Or maybe they know you had a “falling out?” Would he tell anyone here? Jihyo, maybe, if she didn’t already know, but you’re not sure if he’d tell anyone else; his closest friends besides Jimin don’t work at this station anyway. And Jimin probably wouldn’t gossip about you either.

Jihyo is waiting for you when you reach the door to her office, calling out for you to come in as soon as you knock.

“Hey,” you say, closing the door behind you.

“Hey. Want a donut?” she asks from behind her desk, happily pointing to the open box, a half-eaten donut in hand and what you assume is part of the other half in her mouth.

“Nah, I’m good,” you grin, sitting down in front of her.

“Alright,” she says, swallowing and wiping some crumbs from her lap. “So, I’ve been looking over your request and proposed methods.”

You watch as she pulls her laptop in front of her, setting the donut down on the table, and starts scrolling.

“And I’d say it’s very reasonable if we’re okay with the risks.”

“I don’t think there are any risks at all, actually,” you argue softly. “We parted on good terms.”

“Yeah, I know. And they played a part in your survival. But I’m still gonna need to have a risk analysis performed. Who would you want to go with you? I could assign Sana, I think, if you want her? She’s on an assignment right now, but we’re hoping they’ll be done by Wednesday, give or take.”

“Yeah, that would be great. Thanks.”

“No problem. I’m glad to see you back and wanting to work on what matters to you. I know the chief—ex-chief—did his best to be a pain in the ass for you.”

“Yeah. I can’t wait until the investigation’s finished, honestly. He deserves to rot in jail.”

“Agreed. I haven’t heard anything else from the higher-ups, so they’re probably still elbow-deep in it. Anyway, if you have any details you’d like to show me, I’m all ears.”

Your smile grows, and you reach into your bag for your laptop and notebook.

“Thanks,” you smile, standing up an hour later with your bag in hand. But before you exit her office and close the door behind you, you glance back at Jihyo. “By the way, I’m so glad you got the job. You deserve it more than anyone.”

“Thank you. It’s been… rough, these last couple of months. A lot to do and a lot of stress and pressure, but I think it’s worth it. And I’ve had help, making it easier for me to adjust.”

You know who she’s talking about; you don’t need to hear a name.

“He asks about you, you know.”

Holding onto the door, you look away. You’re well aware of what Jeongguk has done for not only you but also Jihyo, Sana, and the entire police station. 

“Let me avoid him for at least another month. Then you can tell him whatever you want, and I can try to be a better colleague. But now? I can’t… I don’t…”

Jihyo looks at you, seeing the pain well up in your eyes when you think about the reason you left his house that night. If you can just have another month to force the warm, yet invalid and hurt feelings you have for him back into the box they broke out of when you first kissed him, you can try to be more civil with him. Hell, you’ll even work with him if he can keep it professional as well.

Jihyo nods, sad but understanding. After all, she had a front-row seat when he used to tear you bloody.

For another hour, you sit at an empty desk, excitedly looking over the preliminary plan that starts on Thursday. You can’t believe it’s about to actually become reality.  

Step one:

Preliminary timeframe: Thursday. 

Possible obstacles and risks: Low risk of hostility or danger. 

Safety measures: Two detectives, civilian clothes, civilian car, concealed firearms.

Step two: Plan A or B, depending on what you find, if anything.

With your notes full of prepared questions, you rise from the chair, deeming it time to leave the station for the day. As you stand there, organizing your papers, movement catches your eye, and you look up just in time to see Jimin enter the big room. And of course, who does he have in tow if not Jeon Jeongguk, dressed, like so often, in the academy's navy crewneck and uniform pants?

Meeting both of their eyes, you’re saved by your phone’s ringtone, a sound that seems to stop even Jeongguk from taking an impulsive step toward you.

Fishing the phone out from the pocket of your black pants, you swipe your finger across the screen to answer. It’s Sana.

“Hello?”

“Hey! So I talked to Jihyo, and she said that your request got pre-approved? I’m a little busy at the moment and for the next few days, but send me anything you’d like me to look over in preparation.”

“So you’re up for it?” you ask, a wide smile forming. Out of the corner of your eye, you watch Jeongguk reluctantly follow Jimin further into the room, where they start talking to two other officers with their backs turned. If you were more of a hopeless romantic instead of a realistic one, you’d describe the glances he sends your way as… yearning. To avoid his gaze, you focus on the notebook lying on the desk.

“Of course! You and me, just like old times.”

“Old times? It’s only been like a year since we worked on a case together.”

“You know what I mean. Anyway, I gotta go. See you.”

“I’ll send the info tonight. See you.”

Discreetly, you end the call and gather your things, quickly but quietly heading for the exit. But in the corridor, you hear a call of your name. You shut your eyes for a second before turning around. It hurts to see him, to walk these halls, avoiding him just like you used to. Only this time, it’s a different kind of pain.

The shame creeps in at the same rate Jeongguk approaches. It’s the same shame for how he sees you, but also for how you’ve reacted. You can barely look at him, yet you’re ashamed for not giving him a chance, even though he’s the one who made the bed he’s now tossing and turning in. He's so handsome, looking so warm and strong as he approaches, his black hair looking soft, shiny and just a little longer than last time. A part of you wishes he’d close his eyes so that you could throw your arms around his neck and breathe him in.

“Can you please leave me alone for a while?” is what you ask instead, clutching your notebook to your chest.

Now standing right before you, he looks down at you with sad, desperate eyes. “I’ll be quick, I promise. Two minutes is all I need.” 

You’re not sure why, because you’re not an immature person, but you press your lips together, trying to suppress a smile. Noticing the shift in your expression, Jeongguk thinks back to what he said, smiling as well. “I set that one up pretty well, didn’t I?”

You turn your head, trying to stifle the smile, but you find that it fades easier than expected. 

“And you think I’d wanna fuck that?” he snaps, eyeing your body with disgust. 

Your gaze locks on the lower part of the wall. You wish someone would lend you the cloak of invisibility so that you could hide yourself from him and the world.

“Look at me,” he instructs, but you don’t. The more you think about his eyes on your body, the more you want to leave. 

“Look. At me,” he repeats, firmer this time but still without sounding angry. 

So you do.

“I get it if you don’t want anything else to do with me, but I can’t have you walking around, believing what I said is true.”

Although you don’t cry, you reluctantly let him see just how hurt you are.

“You were right. I wanted to hurt you. I said those things because I was angry, and I wanted just… some kind of justice. When you instead seemed so… unfazed, I let it get the best of me, and somewhere along the way, I lost myself. But I was wrong and although I wanted payback, I didn’t mean to hurt you to this degree. I was only looking for a reaction, anything that showed me that you were paying for what I thought you’d done. If I’d known how I really made you feel, regardless of if you were innocent or not, I would’ve stopped.“

“So you’re just a man, after all?” you ask, and maybe it’s uncalled for, maybe it’s not.

Jeongguk takes half a step back, appearing lost for words, and with enough pain in his surprised eyes for you to think he looks hurt.

He blinks and lowers his voice. “Yeah. Just a man. But listen to me—the things I said were. Not. True. Okay? You hear me? I cannot let you go around thinking you’re anything like what I told you.”

“I find that hard to believe. How else would you know exactly where to hit? What to say to cause maximum damage? Talking about my cellulite and my… weight and…”

“I said what I figured any woman would be scared to hear.”

“Yeah, sure,” you dismiss. 

It doesn’t matter what he says now—he did know exactly what to say, which means he must have looked at you, inspected your body and found every single one of your flaws. It makes you nauseous, as if some of those flaws didn’t exist to the world simply because no one other than you had noticed or mentioned them. Then Jeongguk and his friends scrutinized every inch of you, uncovering them all and putting them on display.

“I think you’re gorgeous.”

“You would’ve told me.”

You really think he would have. The Jeongguk who wants you to sleep in his bed, holding you from behind, who asks to hold your hand, and who puts frosting on your lips as an excuse to kiss them—he would have told you if he liked you. If he thought you were beautiful.

“I didn’t. I thought–incredibly dumbly–that if I told you what I really think of you, you’d think I was hitting on you. If things were different, if we ran into each other somewhere without all this… baggage, I would’ve hit on you, but all I wanted at the time was for you to trust me as a friend and to trust that I just wanted you to be safe. I didn’t want you to think I was looking to get laid or that I would… that I was anything like Hoseong. I didn’t know that you took my bullshit to heart—because again, it’s just not true—and so I chose not to say anything.”

“But we’ve been past that point for a while, haven’t we?” you ask, finding his explanation a little too weak to believe. “I trusted you enough to tell you about the worst moment of my life, I kissed you, and I told you how pretty I think you are, yet you couldn’t even…”

Frustration boils in your veins, mixing with the raw disappointment and hurt which cools you back down. You feel so… small, so defeated. “I don’t need compliments. Just… something. Something that would’ve shown me you weren’t being sweet only because you felt guilty.”

Jeongguk doesn’t know what to say to that. In retrospect, yeah, he should’ve told you, and thinking back to his joke about pretty being for girls makes him cringe with both shame and regret. Especially since he’d used multiple occasions to taunt you with the fact that you’re not a pretty girl. But it had been hard, finding a balance in showing his affection without scaring you off. When you reacted the way you did that night during the power outage, he... didn’t want to risk making you more uncomfortable or afraid. He’d decided to take a step back, let you lead, and he would follow. Of course, that backfired horribly.

You look at him, hurt still brimming in your eyes.

He searches for words, trying to explain himself better. “I should’ve told you, but I… I didn’t want to risk making you uncomfortable. I wanted to follow your lead and let you decide everything. You wanted me handcuffed and blindfolded—of course I realized you were nervous. But I thought you were more worried I’d do something to you, rather than what I would think of you. I didn’t want to influence you to do anything you would’ve regretted.”

You’re clearly not convinced, and you shake your head slowly.

“You could’ve just given me a ‘you too.’ That’s all I would’ve needed.”

Jeongguk can only watch as you leave, obviously still very much hurt by him. Ten seconds after your footsteps have disappeared, he heads back to the desk area, his head hung low.

Jimin looks at him, JJ and Min gone. The unasked question hangs in the air, and Jeongguk can see Jimin realize that no, it didn’t go very well.

“You gotta remember that she’s had a hectic few months and maybe wasn’t really able to process everything. You being an ass was probably the least of her worries for a while—until it wasn’t anymore. And healing isn’t always linear. I’m sure she’ll come around one day.”

Jeongguk sighs. “I don’t think she will, and I can’t expect that of her. I just… hate myself for what I did to her. I never even realized she was just walking around, bleeding from my words.”

You haven’t fixed your car since the last tampering, but fortunately, Jihyo agreed to lend you one of the station’s unmarked cars. A discreet black thing that you park outside the station at ten a.m. on Thursday to pick up Sana, who needed to retrieve some things and told you to meet her there.

Getting no reply, you lock your phone and step out of the car with a sigh. The ground is powdered white, your shoes leaving tracks as you walk up to the station’s main entrance.

Warm air envelops you as you step inside, the doors falling shut behind you.

“Good morning!” Sana rushes over, a coffee in hand. “Sorry, I’ll be done in a minute, I just gotta ask Mark something.”

She gestures for you to follow, and you do, trailing behind her into the sea of desks. The place is unusually crowded with officers, so you decide to wait near the wall, leaving her to weasel her way into the middle on her own.

There usually aren’t this many people here when you’re around, but in your case, the problem isn’t necessarily people; it’s big, strong, law enforcement men. Though they’re not paying you much attention—they must be preparing for something big—you still can’t will your body to fully relax.

By instinct, you tug at your clothes, wishing you hadn’t left your jacket in the car. Since you decided to wear civilian clothes today, you thought you might as well dress somewhat according to your original mission’s dress code. Except adjusted for winter, of course. 

You’re wearing winter boots that reach your upper calves, a pair of those invisibly fleece-lined pantyhose you’ve seen all over social media the last few months, and a cream-colored knitted turtleneck dress. It’s been in your closet forever, but unfortunately, you didn’t try it on before you had to leave.

It feels too tight on your body. Not to wear into a ‘strangely religious neighborhood,’ but too tight to wear here. You pull at the hem where it ends at your mid-thigh, keeping your eyes down when people pass you and hoping no one is looking at you and taking note of how awkwardly shaped your body is.

You stand there for a while, avoiding people’s eyes while you wait for Sana.

However, when you—out of the corner of your eye—notice a uniformed man walking toward you, you look up. Jeongguk’s eyes flicker between you and the people walking past you, as if he’s seen exactly the shameful way you carry yourself around men—these men—nowadays. It’s gotten worse since you left his house; you know that, but when all of your confidence was fueled by anger and then denial, removing those leaves… not much left.

He comes to stand in front of you, looking down at you with frustrated eyes. He’s so broad, so imposing, and it’s very evident when he wears his navy uniform, the sleeves rolled up his veiny forearms.

“Listen to me—”

You look away, about to step back, but he grasps your hand—not just to stop you but to guide the two of you a few steps away from the path of officers and behind the tall panels of a cubicle.

“No. Listen to me. I’ll leave you alone after this if that’s what you want, but I need you to know that you are so incredibly beautiful.”

You sigh, looking at him and wordlessly begging him to just give up already. He’s quiet for a few long seconds, his frustration seemingly growing.

When he speaks again, his voice is calm, more earnest. “Do you remember the first time we met?”

“No,” you shake your head. You can’t recall the very first time you met him.

“I do. It was a rainy day—my fourth at the station—and I ran into you at the main entrance. The rain had wet your hair, and I held the door open for you. You thanked me, but you didn’t really smile much, just politely. I think you also bowed your head slightly. I remember thinking that you must’ve been cold from the rain, but I realize you were wary around the men here, even if you and I didn’t know each other.”

Sounds about right.

“And I thought that you were just so beautiful.”

You look down. It’s humiliating, and you feel like shit, hearing him throw compliments your way just to make you feel better. You can’t tell if he’s lying or not, but what else would he say? You can’t exactly say you expected him to approach you today to call you ugly.

Noticing your hesitation, he appears to be searching his mind for something, and you glance at him. 

Suddenly, his eyes widen slightly, and he reaches into the pocket of his navy uniform pants. It’s his phone that he pulls out, and he starts to scroll. He scrolls, and he scrolls, until he finally finds what he’s looking for.

“Look,” he says, handing you the phone.

Although you’re not too keen on entertaining whatever this is, you can’t help but be a little curious. What could he have on his phone that would convince you?

Accepting the device, you start reading the words on the screen. They’re text messages from an old group chat, dated years back, and though you can’t remember the exact date Jeongguk first showed up at the station, you assume it was right around then. The chat seems to have consisted mostly of him, Ryung, Hoseong, Seunghwan, and Junseo.

Seunghwan: Yeah, we’re excited to have you, just let us know if you need anything.

The next few texts are from the following day.

Jeongguk: So I just met the most gorgeous woman I think I’ve ever seen??

Jeongguk: Quick question, is there a work dating policy here? I can’t remember. 

Jeongguk: And if not, where do I find this woman again? Is she an officer? I’m not even kidding when I say that I’m absolutely head over heels from a three-second interaction, and she didn’t even really say anything. 

Jeongguk: I’d love to ask her out.

Ryung: If it’s who I think it is then you better stay away, man.

You read on, seeing how Ryung goes on to describe a woman’s features, which happen to align with yours. The length, color, and style of your hair, the color of your eyes, and your height. But also a very generous way of describing your face and the shape of your body.

Jeongguk: Yeah! Is she with one of you already? In that case, I apologize!

Ryung: No, but Hoseong did her briefly, and she’s absolutely mental. Pretty, but crazy

The next words are not very nice, the men urging Jeongguk to stay away from the woman who could only ever be you, promising to tell him what happened the day after.

“See,” Jeongguk says, “Even Ryung knew exactly who I meant; I didn’t even have to describe you, just say that you were the most gorgeous woman I’d ever seen.”

You’re not sure. Yeah, the evidence points to that, and you can’t deny that you’re definitely feeling some form of relief, but… you can still hear his voice in your ears, see the anger and hatred in his dark eyes.

You hand the phone back, and Jeongguk looks around, sighing before turning his attention back to you. “You want me to be completely honest? Tell you exactly what I think of you?”

Your eyebrows knit together in confusion. “No? That’s the point? I know that I’m not your type. I’m full of flaws. I don’t have a body fat percentage in the negatives like you, I don’t always have the energy to shave every inch of my body, and I’ve never gotten flowers. No matter what you say now, I’m not someone you want.”

“You think I’m someone who would care about any of that?” he asks, his voice tinged with hurt.

“You look like someone who would.”

Jeongguk looks away, taking a second to gather his thoughts.

“I… wanted to ask you out that day, after I first met you. You looked so pretty out there in the rain, and I think my heart stopped for a while. I think that you’re cute—really fucking adorable—and charming, and you’re smart and kind, and you’re absolutely breath-taking and sexy as hell.

"Which was another reason I was so angry at you; I saw this… stunning woman, who appeared to live a very privileged life, yelling ‘sexism’ whenever something didn’t go your way to… I don’t know, avoid consequences and get ahead, not realizing what sexism truly meant for other women. I didn’t think there was that much harm in what I said because I thought you knew very well how goddamn pretty you are, so I gripped at every straw, trying to get a reaction.”

You listen to every word he says, still unable to decide. You want to believe him, but the deep wounds he carved into your skin are still bleeding.

“I was so conflicted during our mission. On one hand, I had to pretend to like the person who had shot one of my best friends, who got away with it and refused to be held accountable for it. On the other hand… I liked seeing you pretend to like me too. First, out of spite, but then I realized that I liked seeing you smile, and how nice you were to the people around you, except for me, of course, but I guess I always started it. Then you fell asleep in my arms at the barbeque, and I knew I was fucked. I felt like I betrayed my friends for… feeling something other than hatred for you. 

“But this little thing, that hated me so much, let herself be so vulnerable as to sleep in my arms. And I guess I looked at you differently after that. The more I realized that you might actually be a pretty decent detective; a decent person, the harder it was for me to be mean to you. After everything, and after I’d found out what had happened, I wanted to tell you how much I liked you and how pretty I thought you were, but I was scared you wouldn’t come with me if I did. I was scared they’d look for you at your apartment, so I kept quiet.

“Even after you came to stay with me, and it seemed like you started to trust me, even just a little bit, I had to convince myself to wait. And the more I got to know you, the harder it became. Do you have any idea how much I wanted to bury you in flowers? Hold you and kiss you silly? And you know why I was always up before you—or at least I tried to be—when you slept in my bed with me?”

You shake your head because you don’t know.

There's something else in his eyes when he holds your gaze, “Because I dream about you, and I wake up hard. But I remembered how I freaked you out when we made out back at the house, when you were on my lap and I got hard. I didn’t want to scare you or make you uncomfortable, so I made sure to wake up before you, just in case.

“I wanted to kiss you and hold you and really, it would’ve been my pleasure if you’d wanted to sleep with me. But more than that, I wanted you to be safe and feel safe, never doubting why I was doing what I was.”

He shuts his eyes for a short moment. “I guess that’s all I can say. I don’t need you to forgive me, I just need you to know that all I wanted was revenge; nothing of what I said was true.”

He opens his eyes again, looking into yours with his soft, brown ones and a gentle sincerity. Though it’s overshadowed by something else. “I have many regrets, but you are my biggest. What I did to you.”

Regret.

As if she’s been waiting for the right moment to make her return, you hear Sana call your name. When you turn around, you spot her approaching.

“I gotta go,” you excuse yourself.

Sana looks between you and Jeongguk, but when no one says anything, she shrugs and turns her attention to you. “So, Jihyo said you had a problem with your apartment? The door, was it? Cause I can call my brother, and he’ll fix it for free next week if you want?”

“You’re living in your apartment? On your own?” Jeongguk questions, his voice upset.

You turn back at him, “Yeah. Have been since I left your house. It’s fine.”

Despite the clear worry his eyes display, he makes no effort to follow you and talk you straight, probably realizing that there’s nothing else he can do; that was his last chance.

<previous | next> author's note: so there's that! thanks for waiting for it <3 this was the last puzzle piece of their past, i think, and i'd love to hear your thoughts on everything, but especially him lol <3<3

Man, I love this story. The evolution of understanding and empathizing that is going on between these two is insanely cathartic and beautiful. The clarification of misunderstandings and truly working through it and coming to truly see each other.

I absolutely love how justice is coming for all the assholes too. I just hope justice is fully served with all those guys involved in the stabbing!

Ps. The way I couldn’t help repeating in my head over and over “kiss, kiss, kiss!” At the end. Oh my god!!! Feeling his scars?!?! Shut up! I love this story sooooo much!!

dextrocardia | 12

Dextrocardia. Originally a medical term, but also a way to describe someone who's got their heart in the right place.

"She's been moved to another operation to help out. This pairing is necessary because you'll be undercover as spouses. I know you two can be professional about this."

"What?!" It's Jeongguk's upset voice that sounds, and for once, you share his displeased opinion.

Spouses.

pairing: cop!jk x f detective!reader

genre: undercover cops, fake marriage, e2l au, angst, fluff, (smut?)

word count: 6.6k

warnings: talk about dv and sa but pretty briefly. also includes some (implied) trauma/ptsd reactions.

rating: NC-17 – Adults Only

masterlist

part 12/? 

<previous | next>

© dextrocardia is copyright jeonstudios. this fic can not be modified, re-posted, or translated without my permission.

An hour and a half later, you’re on your way to the bathroom when you run into Jeongguk nearly head first. He mentioned at breakfast that he was going to use the gym before taking on the window once more, and judging by the sweat that’s soaked through the dark green t-shirt and also glistens on his face, that’s where he’s just come from.  

“Oh,” you step back, saying the first thing that comes to mind. “Almost didn’t recognize you. You know… with your shirt on.”

It may be stupid, but better than to admit how seeing him sweaty, his breathing still heavy and his veins more prominent than usual, makes your own body heat up. 

He dabs his forehead with his arm, “Yeah… You know, I’m sorry for being such an ass to you. I thought it was cathartic, getting my revenge by flustering you. I didn’t understand that I was probably scaring you.”

Your eyes widen. He was. You remember your heart rate increasing uncomfortably whenever he’d walk toward you, his shirt off and saying something suggestive. If he wasn’t actually intentionally scaring you by implying he could do something to you whether you wanted it or not then he was an ass but not unforgivably so. It was immature, yeah, but if he thought you shot his friend for getting rejected and then protected by the chief, it almost makes it understandable. Almost.

“It’s okay. I appreciate it. It doesn’t bother me here, though, and it’s your home.”

He tilts his head slightly, looking down at you. “It’s what I want to do, and besides, it’s not nearly as hot as it was this summer.”

For a brief moment, you stand there, looking up at him and wondering if he’s actually a real person, a real man. Somehow he wants to do the right thing, be as kind and considerate he can, even if he doesn’t have to. It’s so far from the Jeongguk you thought you knew, but also… not. In a way, it makes sense that he hated you so much because he’s loyal, wants everything to be fair and right, which makes you wonder…

“Can I ask you something?”

“Mhm?”

“Why did you hate me so much?” you question, “I know you thought I shot Hoseong, either on purpose or by being reckless with the gun, but… what were your thoughts?”

His gaze turns curious, and you assume he doesn’t understand exactly what you’re getting at–after all, he thinks he’s explained it before.

“I hated you because I thought you shot him for rejecting you, and then I hated you because I thought you got away with it. I thought that the chief protected you by not dealing with what happened. Then I hated you more because you were always complaining about men when it seemed like you got off scot-free because you were a woman. I felt like you excused your shitty behavior as being a feminist or whatever and accused anyone calling you out of being sexist.” 

You consider his words. “Thank you.”

You were right.

“You’re… welcome?” he tilts his head slightly. “I’m gonna try to finish the window quickly, but I’ll need to head to the station after that, and I wanted to ask you if you want to come? I don’t think it’ll be too crowded today, and I know who’s working; all good guys. ”

You bite your lip. Going to the station would mean getting stared at and whispered about because at the end of the day, what happened to you–and then subsequently to you and Jeongguk–was what set the ball in motion. 

Sensing your hesitancy, Jeongguk continues, “We’re going over some paperwork of the changes we’re implementing, so Jihyo will be there, and we’ve asked all female employees to tell her if there’s anyone they’ve ever felt unsafe with, and we’re investigating those. The guys there right now are people I really trust from back home and the rest have no complaints, no reports made against them.”

You don’t really want to ever set foot at the station again, but logically, you realize that you’ll probably have to. After all, you can’t keep your pay and never work again, and you don’t have any other education. While you could try to find another job, it would have to be something like a customer service job, and your nineteen old self was more than done with that. 

Jeongguk still looks at you with gentle and hopeful eyes. Sooner or later, you’ll have to. Maybe it’ll be easier to have him with you when you do? Additionally, the least you can do is point out which guys haven’t made comments about you or threatened you.

“Okay.”

The tiniest form of raindrops hit the windshield as Jeongguk drives you toward the station. You bounce your knee nervously, trying to focus on the fact that you’ll get to see Jihyo and Sana again.

It turns out that walking inside the station with Jeongguk is just more reason for people to stare. He’s wearing dark blue and somewhat baggy jeans and a big black hoodie, but even without his uniform, he gives off an aura of authority among the people present. 

You trail behind him, just knowing that he’s glaring at those who let their eyes linger on you for too long, making them turn away their heads apologetically. You thought everyone knew, you really did, but judging by how many seem to want to come up to you and show their sympathy (or pretend to?), that’s evidently not the case. They all know now, however.

Jeongguk leads you through the corridors, and you stay behind him, feeling more unsure the farther in you go.

A man walks past in front of you as you reach the open part of the station, but you hear Jeongguk order a low ‘Don’t’ when his step falters. It’s a guy you’ve seen around but don’t really know, and even his name is escaping you at the moment. 

“Sorry,” he says before smiling gently at you, “Good to see you again.”

You nod, wondering to yourself if it’ll ever get easier. You don’t recall hearing the man insult or threaten you, but how can you believe he truly didn’t know?

Jeongguk leads you into the room you once knew as the old chief’s office, but now Jihyo’s family name is stamped on the glass. It’s empty, and you relax your shoulders when he closes the door behind you.

“You okay?”

“Yeah. Some still stare but less so than I assumed.”

“I might have told them not to make a scene or make you uncomfortable.”

His words have a small, appreciative smile pulling on your mouth. Two seconds later, there’s a knock on the door, and you see the blurry shape of a man through the frosted window.

“Jimin,” Jeongguk mumbles, walking back to the door to open it. 

A smiling, dark haired man walks through, a little shorter than Jeongguk, and his eyes land on you. Immediately, he approaches, his hand outreached. You’re not sure if it’s the way he’s smiling–his eyes narrowing but almost endearingly so–or something else, but he’s got a whole different aura than the typical man who works around here. Even Jeongguk at first glance looks more mysterious and intimidating.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Jimin.”

His hand is warm when it shakes yours, and he nods when you say your own name. From behind him, you hear someone repeat it excitedly. Jimin steps aside, and you spot Sana approaching fast.

Your heart grows warm as you meet her in the middle and wrap your arms around her. She holds you close, doesn’t seem too keen on letting go, and you feel the exact same. 

“I missed you,” she mumbles into the embrace, and you hug her tighter. The truth is that you met with Jihyo a few times after the incident at the house, but you only spoke with Sana on the phone before you decided to leave town, telling them to give you space and not to visit. Being around people had felt overwhelming, but in retrospect, you’d been very lonely.

Sana steps back, “Jihyo had some pretty urgent matters to attend to, but hopefully she makes it before you leave. She said we could get started.”

“Right, there are some people already in the conference rooms, but we can just stay here,” Jimin points to a few chairs stacked in the corner, and Sana goes to get them. 

“Sure. Coffee, anyone?” Jeongguk asks, getting a chorus of affirmatives.

You watch him leave the room and the door glide shut behind him. Taking a seat, you clasp your hands on the table, looking at them inconspicuously.

“So, how do you know Jeongguk?” you ponder, even though your guess is that they used to work together before Jeongguk came to town.

Jimin pulls out the chair to your left and sits down. “We met at the academy, worked at the same station, first as highway patrol and then he switched to patrol and like… mostly DV calls before he transferred. After everything went down here, he and Jihyo asked me and a few others to help out.”

You blink in confusion, peering up at him. “Domestic violence?”

“Yeah. Of course, there’s not a specific DV unit, but if he was free and close, we usually sent him,” he explains casually.

“It’s often a complex situation as I’m sure you know; a manly man does best at talking to the offender–usually a man–but a woman or a less “harsh” man, like myself, usually does better talking to the victim and earning their trust. Jeongguk, for some reason, does well at both. So since we didn’t have a lot of female officers, he and a partner usually went. He would also talk to a lot of victims that came in to the station, taking their statements and supporting them to get the rape kits done if needed.”

You’re thrown back to the living room in your fake house, where you’re accusing Jeongguk of being one of the people leaving women to die at the hands of their husbands. You recall vividly how he stood there, just taking everything you threw at him. Why didn’t he tell you?

“Oh,” is the first thing that comes out of your mouth. “It’s never worked like that here, as far as I know?”

It really hasn’t. You couldn’t imagine the chief calculating who’s got the most fitting, empathetic personality and sending them out for calls like that. Closest guys went and then whoever was free talked to victims at the station. How well the job was done is a whole other thing, and you don’t even want to think about it or how any critique you and your female colleagues have raised has been handled.

“Yeah. Of course, it’s not always doable, and priority for all urgent cases is to send help out as quickly as possible, but if we could, then that’s what we did.”

Jimin’s words leave you with a lot to think about, and you can’t really keep your full attention on the papers Sana and Jimin pull out and start to go through. Though you hear them continuing on the subject, discussing whether to assign some officers a certain priority when a domestic violence or sexual assault victim comes in or just hold more thorough classes in how to talk to those people for everyone employed at the station.

A few minutes later, Jeongguk returns with coffee, and he wastes no time joining in from the chair beside you. You hum and nod sometimes, but it’s definitely hard to focus.

“You okay?” Jeongguk nudges you gently, observing you with big, understanding eyes. 

Logically, it wouldn’t be weird for you to feel intimidated by the current topics, and it’s most likely what he thinks is the reason for your quietness. 

“Yeah. Just… have a lot on my mind.”

He nods at the small smile you give him and surprises you by casually reaching for your hand on your lap. With his face forward and attention on the discussion, he briefly intertwines your fingers, stroking his thumb against your skin. Then before you know it, he’s pulling away.

“I have some… news,” Sana says with a lip balm in hand, watching your expression through the mirror as you exit the bathroom stall behind her.

“Okay…” you say, confused, joining her at the sinks to wash your hands.

“I’ve been in touch with a lawyer. You know how the bar owners said they didn’t save any footage from the Christmas party?”

You nod, thinking back to how you practically begged the owners of the bar where you all went for the after party to release their footage. They said no, said their cameras weren’t functional, and the chief didn’t grant the search warrant you requested. It was always so clear that the owners liked the business that the nearby station’s get-togethers brought, and you definitely know at least one of them was real buddy-buddy with some officers.

“Jimin and Jeongguk helped me get it. It was Ryung, not the one who put the drugs in the drink, but who asked the bartender to. I’ve been in touch with a lawyer, and we think we have clear enough evidence to prosecute.”

Your eyes are wide. Fuck, you hadn’t expected them to work together like that. The owners trying to protect whatever officer it was, sure, maybe even due to threats from said officer, but to have evidence of them essentially committing the crime together?

“Oh my God. Sana… That makes me so… I wanna say happy?”

She chuckles, but you can tell there are emotions bubbling under the surface. Fortunately–thank God–nothing happened to her that night since you and the rest of her friends at the station were quick to notice that something was wrong and took her to the hospital, but you can only imagine what it’s like to know that someone–most likely watching her in her day to day life–drugged her. Of course, their intentions were anything but good, and walking around, not knowing who was bold enough to try, and might just give it another shot, would terrify anyone. At least you knew who was trying to get rid of you.

“Something… needed to happen here,” she places the lip balm in her pocket, turning her full attention to you through the mirror. “We’ve been brave and fighting tooth and nail, but it was never going to be enough because we’re women and outnumbered. The men here, they either knew or didn’t–and evidently there were actually quite a few who shared Jeongguk’s belief–but the ones who knew–even if they didn’t partake–they didn’t stand up for us. I hate that you left without telling us–”

“–Would you have let me go?”

“No, of course not. In hindsight, yeah, it was the best thing you could’ve done because we needed something to happen. We needed Jeongguk. But when I found out that you were at the hospital after going on a solo mission with him? I thought he’d killed you.”

You let your gaze fall to the floor sadly. “I’m sorry for worrying you. I just… I couldn’t do it anymore.”

Sana touches her hand to your shoulder, giving you a sad but understanding smile, “How are you now? I imagine it’s scary, knowing they haven’t been caught yet.”

You sigh. “Yeah. I don’t know, in a way, I feel… numb. Sometimes I used to think I heard stuff… Footsteps, voices… Living with Jeongguk makes me feel safer in some ways.”

“But?”

You exhale, feeling your shoulders drop slightly.

Sana gives you a sad and almost defeated look. “Don’t do that. I really think he’s one of the good ones.”

“Don’t do what? Nothing is going to happen.”

“You sure? Knowing you, would you have agreed to live with him if you didn’t like him at least a little? And do you have any idea how much he cares for you? I heard from Jimin that he worked his ass off just to find out where you were, like from the moment he was discharged from the hospital and we wouldn’t tell him. He still asked about you almost everyday, even after he figured out your location and technically could go and see for himself. He works day in and day out to catch these guys for what they did to us and to him, but mostly for you.”

You tap your nails against the porcelain sink, listening to her words but not sure what to make of them. “He might be one of the good guys but I promise you, nothing like that is ever going to happen. Not between us.”

She purses her lips. “Okay, if you’re certain. But be honest with yourself if anything changes.”

“So, you and Jimin,” you change the subject, watching Sana roll her dark eyes and fail to suppress a smile.

“He’s a sweet guy. I didn’t think I needed to talk about what happened at that party, I thought I was over it. But since nothing happened and we never knew who it was? I guess I never let myself really process it and the always-present… fear I lived with. I know I talked to you, but I think I needed to talk to someone who in a way wasn’t in the same boat.”

“I get that,” you smile a smile that grows into a wide grin, “Can you believe it? We might finally get some justice.”

Two hours later, you’re rushing from the station’s front doors to the parked car, rain still falling from the gray sky. Jeongguk makes it before you, opening the passenger door.

Weird, why would you drive his car?

He looks back at you where you’ve come to a stop, “What are you waiting for? Get in,” he smiles, undoubtedly confused. There’s a raindrop running slowly from his forehead, down between his eyebrows and down the side of his nose.

Oh. He opened the door for you.

You move your legs, getting inside while Jeongguk remains standing there with his hand on the top of the door. As soon as you’re comfortably inside, he shuts it and rounds the car.

“Do you want to come with me or should I drop you off at home on the way?”

“Home, please. I think one station a day is enough for me,” you let out a stressed laugh at the mention of Jeongguk’s old workplace, gazing out through the window. 

“Of course,” he says, placing his arm on the back of your seat to look behind him, reversing the car.

You fiddle with your hands in your lap, glancing over at him while he steers the car out onto the road. “So, Sana told me she might have a case against Ryung as well.” 

“Yeah. If the bartender testifies against him, which I think he’ll do considering all the other charges we’re working on. If we can just catch them first to make him more relaxed with them in custody.”

You nod, more so to yourself. You hope the bartender testifies that he didn’t drug Sana by his own accord. Hopefully, he’d rather share the blame than take it all, even if he fears an eventual revenge act by Ryung’s cop friends.

“And you helped her?” you ask, tapping your fingers against your jean-clad thighs anxiously.

“To get the tapes, yeah. I remembered you told me what happened to her, so I asked her when I got back, and she explained everything. Owner was a real asshole and definitely tried to avoid it, so I might have threatened him a little.”

You look at the side of his face as he continues. “That if he didn’t hand all the footage over and make sure the cameras are always up and functional, I’d look into every crevice of the bar. Which, we technically can’t, because we don’t have any legal reason to at the moment. But I’m hoping it might deter them from shitty behavior in the future.”

He’s got such stunning features; the nose, the jaw, his eyes… His hair is relatively unstyled, parted to reveal his forehead. You didn’t think he could get more physically attractive, but boy, were you wrong. How much of one’s attractiveness is due to their personality? You find it so… heart-warming to know that he helped your friend and didn’t bring it up with you in order to win any brownie points. It feels like… he did it because he truly wanted to help her and left it to her to decide who should know.

“Thank you, Jeongguk,” you say earnestly, watching him turn his head to look at you for as long as he can before he has to focus his attention back to the road.

“No problem.”

You hear Jeongguk drive off only when you’re safely inside. Slowly but surely, your heart rate continues to increase, almost at the same rate as the rain that’s on a whole new level now. You faintly recall reading something about a smaller storm rolling through the city, but you didn’t remember it happening this week.

The first thing you do is lock the front door. You even pull on the handle a few times just to be sure, and then you head toward the living room before you walk back, checking it again.

It’s six p.mm when the first round of lightning hits. Holding your breath, you wait for it. One, two, three… There it is, the thunder. It shakes the entire house, and you feel restlessness fill your body. Your feet take you through the house and into your bedroom, locking both locks and sitting down on the floor with your back against the bed. 

However, Jeongguk removed the curtains for better access to the window and seems to have forgotten to put them back up. There’s a small space between the wooden planks, and you turn your head away as lightning flashes through.

Your breathing turns shallow, and you rise to your feet again. One, two… Any second now, it could happen. Any second. It rumbles again, and you feel it in your entire body.

Unlocking your bedroom door, you end up wandering the hallway in search of a calmer spot. You find a fitting room, and you pull the thicker curtains closed before slumping down with your back against the bed. The silence between the thunder fills your head with thoughts and memories and your body aches in pain. Trying to tune out the waves of thunder, you hide your face against your arms that are hugging your knees to your chest. It’s closer now, and you feel the walls rumble with it. 

You try to keep calm, but your shoulders are so tense. It feels like it’s right above you; it never moves. Moment after moment passes but it never moves. 

Footsteps stop next to you.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” someone says, and you open your eyes, peering over your arm at the familiar but worried face where he’s kneeling beside you. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”

When did he even return? Wasn’t he supposed to visit the other station? Or… has he already? You can’t tell.

“I’m… fine,” you sniffle, raising your head, and meeting his brown eyes for a second. “It’s just that… bad things tend to happen to me when it storms.”

“I see,” he says, “Do you mind if I sit with you?”

You shrug because it’s his house, after all. Jeongguk sits down next to you with his back against his bed as well, barely touching your side. 

“No one is looking for us, you know?” he informs quietly. “We’ll be perfectly fine in this house. Jimin said that according to the latest updates, he thinks they're at least four hours away, and they definitely have more important things to prioritize than looking for you. Besides, I’m here, and I’m prepared this time so no one’s getting to you, okay?”

He nudges you softly with his shoulder. You nod shakily, trying to breathe calmly. For a while, you sit there on his bedroom floor, next to each other, until the worst passes. He makes it better; the feeling of his arm gently pressed against yours, the sound of his quiet breaths, and the scent of his cologne all pull you out of a darkness.

“We should do something.”

A lot calmer, you turn your head to meet his eyes, reflecting once again over how kind they look. There’s an additional sparkle in there too.

“Do… what?”

He stands up, holding out his hand for you. “Come on.”

A bit skeptical, you still give in and take his hand, letting him help you up. He doesn’t explain whatever plan he’s got, but you follow him into the kitchen where he stops.

“Teach me how to bake?”

“Jeongguk… I’m not a baker, myself,” you look at him, confused.

“But you baked those cookies? And they were good?”

“Yeah, I followed a recipe and had a bit of luck. Wouldn’t know how to replicate that without the exact instructions. I only know how to bake, like, one thing, and the last time I tried, it turned out terrible.”

“And that is?”

“Okay, uhm, eggs? And… butter?”

You watch as Jeongguk opens the fridge, searching for the ingredients you list.

“And we’ll need flour, baking soda, sugar, and… I’m guessing you don’t have vanilla extract?”

He places a cartoon of eggs and a stick of butter on the kitchen table before looking at you with a guilty face. “...No.”

“Alright, well, I guess we can do without. But we’ll need the flour, baking soda, and sugar; you have that?”

“Coming right up.”

You roll your eyes with a smile on your lips as you place his laptop on the counter, not displaying a recipe but a Netflix documentary.

Jeongguk follows your directions flawlessly, except for ‘accidentally’ making somewhat of a flour mess and tasting just a little too much of the batter. The cupcakes go inside the preheated oven, and he starts cleaning the kitchen and doing the dishes in the meantime. Although your creations are a tad bit too dry for your liking, and you have to stop Jeongguk from popping an entire one into his mouth the second they’re out of the oven, you guess he succeeded because you don’t spare the dwindling rain any more thought.

At least not until you’ve closed the laptop and put the cupcakes in the fridge, turning the lights off in the kitchen. You’ve joked and laughed, but now that it’s quiet… You bite your lip, standing outside your room with your fingers on the handle of the half open door.

“Everything okay?”

You turn your head, meeting Jeongguk’s eyes. He’s stopped on the way to his own bedroom, and you make an effort to smile at him, “Yeah. I probably won’t be able to sleep… with the rain, but it’s okay.”

“Sleep with me in my bed?”

You can’t help the risk analysis your brain performs. It’s the concept of laying your unconscious body in an extremely vulnerable state next to a being much bigger and five times stronger than you, whose kind you know to be extremely violent and without a trace of empathy. But Jeongguk has had plenty of chances to hurt you, and in that way, he hasn’t. He quite literally could’ve murdered you when you fell asleep against him on the couch and didn’t even wake up fully when he carried you to bed.

“Okay,” you nod, taking the leap and watching him smile and continue to his room.

You change in your own room, emerging in a pair of baby blue cotton shorts and a white, loose t-shirt. Jeongguk is wearing a similar outfit, only his shorts are longer and his entire outfit is black, and he’s pulling away the bedspread as you enter his bedroom. Despite just spending hours with him, your heart rate increases.

He looks back at you over his shoulder. “You know, I’m sorry for making you sleep in bed with me back at the house. I thought you seemed uncomfortable because you were a little prudish, not because…”

“Because I was scared of you?” you continue, smiling softly at his confession.

He nods, and you see the way sadness fills his eyes.

“It’s okay. Thank you, though.”

There’s still a trace of hesitation in his eyes, so you roll your eyes playfully as you sit down on the bed. “Get in, Jeongguk.”

He follows your instructions, switching the lights off first, and though you’ve slept beside him in the past, it feels so different. There was always a tension, mostly because you were quite literally fearing for your life, but also because you did find him insanely attractive. 

In the middle of the night, you wake up to the bed moving and soon after feeling Jeongguk reach for you in a clumsy way that definitely means he’s not awake. With his arm around your waist, he pulls you back against him, nuzzling his face into your hair and sighing. He’s really, really warm and sturdy, and you find that… it doesn’t scare you that much. Not too long after, you feel him tense a little and start to pull back his arm, a sign that he’s awake and realizing what he’s done. Surely surprising him–and honestly, yourself too–you grasp his hand to keep it there, and a few beats of silence later, you feel him snuggle just a little closer.

When you wake up in Jeongguk’s warm, white sheets, you’re alone. Rolling over, you find yourself face to face with the ring, still on his bedside table. Should you ask him about that? (Or about how you basically cuddled?) Is it weird or are you overthinking stuff? You observe the shiny gold for a minute before you stretch your arms over your head and decide to get up.

After visiting the bathroom, you head toward the kitchen. Expecting Jeongguk to have left already, you’re surprised to see him at the kitchen table, still wearing the clothes he slept in.

“You’re not going to the station today? I thought you had some sort of meeting” you question, walking to the fridge to grab a cupcake and pour yourself a glass of apple juice.

Jeongguk puts his phone down, scraping the last of the cereal from the bowl in front of him onto the spoon. “Moved it to Wednesday. Thought I’d stay home today.”

You wonder if it’s because of you and the bad day you had yesterday, but you don’t voice your thoughts. It’s still raining, but luckily there hasn’t been any more thunder, and it’s supposed to last until tomorrow. Though, while you can handle ordinary rain, it feels… good to have him close by.

After breakfast, Jeongguk resumes working in his office. You’re not really sure what to occupy yourself with, and although he left the door open, you don’t want to disturb him.

You end up in the kitchen, inventorying the contents of the fridge, freezer, and cupboards. You used up the last of the butter when you made the cupcakes, and although there are a couple of eggs left, if you want to bake, you should probably get some more.

With a list in your phone, you knock on the open door to Jeongguk’s office.

“Can I borrow the car? I was thinking of going grocery shopping.”

He turns to you in the chair, leaning back. “Are we out of something? I went not too long ago and thought I got everything?”

“I want to try baking some more.”

From confused, his features turn to understanding.

“Yeah, of course. I have the bike in case I get called in,” he turns back to the computer screen, clicking around. “Hold on a minute, and I’ll get my card.”

You pull the door closer to your body. “It’s alright, I’ll pay.”

Jeongguk swirls the chair all the way to face you and stands up before you, looking down at you, “I don’t mind, though.”

“Jeongguk, you’re very kind, but it’s not like I’m without pay. I can pay for some things while living in your house.”

“I know, but you still pay rent for your own apartment that you can’t live in at the moment, you pay for your car you can’t safely use, and I know you wouldn’t be here if you didn’t really have to, so in a sense, you’re paying that price as well. And it’s partially because of me. Just let me pay.”

“You’re stubborn, you know that?” you roll your eyes but let him pass you into the hallway.

“In a good way, I hope,” he calls out. 

You follow him, taking the car key and card he just pulled out of his wallet from his hand. “And please just use it. I’ll check.”

“Fine.”

He grins happily, and then he returns to his office. But the joke’s on him because you do use his card at the grocery store, but you also take the opportunity to fill the car up with gas, and for that, you pay with your own card.

It’s just past noon when you return, locking the car in the garage and carrying the grocery bags inside. You notice the empty office on your way to the kitchen, and doesn’t it seem very… quiet? Then again, wasn’t the bike still in the garage?

You bring the groceries to the kitchen, unpacking everything before checking your phone again. If Jeongguk left he would’ve at least texted you, right? When there’s no notification from him, you conclude that he must be somewhere in the house, so you set out to find him.

You peer into his bedroom, finding it empty just like his office. Next, you open the door into your room, but he isn’t there either. That leaves, what, the bathroom?

The door to the bathroom is ajar, and as you approach, you see movement inside. Jeongguk stands with his back toward the door, sorting and throwing laundry into the washing machine. The final item he decides to wash is the shirt he’s currently wearing, and you watch him reach his hands to the back of his neck and then pull the black shirt over his head.

Which means that he’s left shirtless.

He places it in the washing machine and closes the door to it, unknowing of the way your heart has filled with an incredible weight, and you press your lips together in order to stop the bottom one from trembling.

The night that you almost died–Jeongguk more so than you–sometimes feels so distant. Like a terrible dream or something from another lifetime. But you’re now cruelly reminded by the large, very pink and ugly scar close to his shoulder blade.

He’s about to start the machine when he turns around as if he forgot something, worry filling his eyes and coloring his face when he spots you, on the brink of crying.

It doesn’t help you much, though, because there’s another huge, pink scar on his chest as well, spanning from right above where his heart should be and down a few inches.

You remember how he used to look when he couldn’t ever be bothered to wear a shirt around the fake house; how his warm, essentially flawless skin looked under the summer sun. And now, it’s going to look like that for the rest of his life. Because of you. You could’ve moved out of the way when Hoseong rushed toward you with the sword, but you didn’t. You could’ve at least tried, but you hadn’t.

“Jeongguk,” you whisper, distraught, taking a few steps toward him. He looks at you as you reach your hand out carefully, but he makes no effort to stop you, so you ghost your shaky fingers over the scar on his chest, as if it still hurts him.

“I–I…”

“Hey, it’s fine, okay?” he tries to meet your eyes, but you keep them on the scar, “It doesn’t hurt.”

He could’ve died. He was so, so close to dying. You nod, but your lip trembles as you tilt your head. 

“Listen… I’m fine… They’re just scars. I’m not bothered by them. Not at all; I don’t think about them. I can barely see them.”

Your gaze drifts, and you spot another scar on the side of his ribcage. “And this? I don’t remember this?”

He lifts his arm a little, giving you a better view of it. Luckily, it’s not close to as big as the others. “This,” he says, touching his other hand to raised, pink skin, “is from the chest tube. The others are from, well, the sword and fixing my ribs and my lung.”

In order to get your attention, Jeongguk places two fingers under your chin and lifts it to search your eyes, “I’m okay, I promise. The doctors told me not to exert myself like I used to for a while, so I’m still taking it a little easy, but I’ll definitely be able to.”

You grab his hand, holding it tightly in the air between you. “You’ll be completely fine?”

“Yes. I mostly am already. I’m like 99%.”

You think about the damage the sword did to his body, and if he hadn’t taken the blow for you, Hoseong would’ve aimed it for your heart, and it would’ve pierced your body. It hurts just thinking about it.

Closing your eyes for a second, you nod softly before gently turning him around again to look at the scar on his shoulder blade. He lets you, standing patiently with his back to you. 

“Have you tried any of those oils?” you sniffle.

“Oils?”

“That make them less noticeable.”

“I haven’t,” he answers over his shoulder. “I don’t think it’ll help since they’re so… textured. But if it’s just for appearance, I don’t mind. They don’t bother me.”

“It doesn’t hurt?” you ask to make sure, letting your fingers touch his skin still very lightly but less so than the previous ghosting touch.

He shakes his head, turning it forward again as if giving you free reign.

You trace the scar, the long vertical, raised line that thickens more to the middle. You’ve never seen scars like this before, not where you can even make out the stitches. For a moment, you stand there in silence.

“Why didn’t you tell me about your work?” you ask quietly.

He turns his head to the side, “What do you mean?”

“Back at the house, when I essentially yelled at you for being a shitty cop and about the patriarchy. Jimin said you worked a lot of domestic violence and sexual assault cases, like… voluntarily. Why didn’t you tell me that? Why did you let me go on and on about women’s rights and police violence and abuse when you were actually trying to do good?”

Jeongguk shrugs lightly, “Would it have helped? In the moment?”

You think about it, letting your hand fall from his back. He turns around and leans back against the washing machine, his hands on top of it behind him.

“I probably wouldn’t have believed you.”

It wouldn’t have helped. You were angry–furious–and upset, and it wouldn't have changed anything because you would’ve thought he was lying. Lying and somehow trying to invalidate your feelings.

“I had the feeling you needed to vent. I sorta realized then what your impression of me was, and I felt like I understood you more in that moment as well.” He tilts his head, looking down at you with those kind, brown eyes and a small smile.

“That I wasn’t a fake feminist, using the movement for my own personal and professional advantage? And that I actually thought you were the most misogynistic asshole to ever live, not just throwing blame around to victimize myself?”

Jeongguk chuckles at your colorful description, “Yeah.”

Even so, he still looks so… sweet.

<previous | next>

author's note: so i hope you like this spontaneous april fools' prank lol. i'm also really, really hoping that if you did like it that maybe you'll leave a reblog or an ask with your thoughts? makes my day to hear if you liked it (and what you liked)!!

HOLY.

HELL.

I was not prepared. That was …

between takes | 03

as a fluffer for a popular porn star, your focus is to keep him hard and performing on set. turns out he's not the only thing that's hard.

pairing: porn star!jk x f fluffer!reader

genre: porn star au, fluff, angst, smut

word count: 6k

warnings: smut in the form of head (f receiving), slight handjob, games

rating: NC-17 – Adults Only

masterlist

part 3/5 

<previous | next>

© between takes is copyright jeonstudios. this fic can not be modified, re-posted, or translated without my permission.

He stills when he spots you, and your eyes meet for a few seconds. It hurts because you don’t have anything to say to him, and he can’t tell you anything that would change the situation, either. You turn your head back to the girls in front of you, who are laughing loudly at something you missed.

Though, it doesn’t take long before you hear a voice call your name. Everyone at the table quiets down, and you do as well, turning your head.

Jeongguk looks… good. Strong, honest… he looks… worried and almost bothered by something but not scared to stand in front of you and your coworkers with everyone’s eyes on him.

“Can I talk to you?” he asks, not tearing his gaze away from you. 

“Uh… sure,” you answer, looking apologetically at your surprised but not overly concerned friends and Doyoung as you slide off his lap. “I’ll be right back.”

Jeongguk waits until he sees you near him, and then you’re following someone outside for the second time that night. Your thoughts are all over the place. What does he want to talk about? What did Wendy say to him? 

You can’t deny that your heart skips a beat, being in his presence. Even more so when he holds the door open for you, and you very well could simply reach out and touch him. Maybe his chest, surely warm and firm even through his black t-shirt, or his strong and capable arms.

Ever since you first met him, you’ve felt an insane pull to him, and it’s not much better now. It’s like it’s twice as intense, like your longing for him only increases it, and you have to stop yourself from reaching for him. It would feel so nice, though, to warm your cold hands against his skin, run them up his chest and down his back underneath his shirt.

When outside, he keeps walking until you’re at the corner of the building where he turns to you but doesn’t immediately say anything. You’d almost forgotten how it feels to be in his presence, to have him look down at you in front of him. 

“So… what did you want to talk about?” you ask, your voice sounding more confused than you’ve started to feel. After all, how many topics could he choose between?

“How are you?”

You blink, unsure if that’s what he really wanted to ask but feeling like you don’t want to push it. “I’m… good. How are you?”

“I’m alright. Been missing you.”

You take on a slightly skeptical expression, feeling like his warm but slightly careful words don’t really belong between the two of you, at least not from his side.

“You didn’t want me there, Jeongguk,” you remind him, unable to keep the frustration from leaking through your words. “You didn’t even tell me you had feelings for someone before you made the decision.”

In turn, his voice turns frustrated too, although less angry. “Yeah, cause I overheard you, and it fucking broke my heart. I loved you, but I was nothing to you, just a porn star.”

“What?” Your mind halts, trying to understand what he’s trying to say. “Jeongguk, you were the only reason I stayed as long as I did; I already told you that.”

“Then why would you tell Wendy you’d never date someone like me? You don’t think I’m good enough for you.”

You’re transported back to the last day you spent on ‘good’ terms. 

You zip up your jacket, then meet Wendy’s eyes sadly. “I do like him, I think he’s… great and really sweet, but… he’s a porn star, Wendy.”

Wendy bites her lip looking at you like she understands. 

“I just… can’t. Not a porn star.”

“I get it, I just think it’s a shame,” she says, lifting her bag to reveal a small box on the floor.

“Oh, aren’t those Jeongguk’s?” you say, bending down to pick it up, “I’m pretty sure these are his earbuds.”

“You turned back for your earbuds, didn’t you?” you conclude after putting the pieces together.

Jeongguk looks sad and disappointed, his frustration turned low. “Yeah. I thought we had… something. But how could I continue to work with you when you not only didn’t feel remotely the same as I did, but I would never be good enough for you because of my profession?”

You’re not surprised he took what he heard the way he did; after all, not everything was said out loud and much of the conversation was contextual. It just wasn’t meant for him to hear, and you hadn’t thought he had.

“I didn’t look down on you…” you try to explain, finally realizing why he did what he did. Somewhere in the back of your mind is also the fact that he just confessed to liking you. Or at least back then.

”Forget about it. It’s fine. I get it, it’s not for everyone, I was just hurt–”

“–I’m a stubborn, insecure bitch, alright? That’s why I didn’t tell you I liked you. You’re practically perfect; you’re sweet and kind and funny, and insanely hot, and you fuck other hot people for a living. How would I handle that? I couldn’t, so I never said anything.”

It’s his turn to have a realization, and for a moment, he looks to be searching for words.

Finally, he regains his thoughts, and as he takes a step closer, you notice the change in atmosphere. The increasing intensity brewing in his eyes is slow and gradual but strong like a tidal wave. 

“That guy…? Are you with him?” he asks, and his voice is lower than mere moments ago.

It’s worse now, the heat of his body pulling you in like the strongest magnet. “No,” you breathe. “And you’re not with Joy?”

He shakes his head. “I lied.”

Slowly, he lifts his hand to run his fingers softly along your jaw, keeping them there as he steps so close you can smell his cologne. “If you don’t kiss me now, I–”

Of course, you want to. You want and you wish and you desire, and maybe you would’ve even if you were entirely sober, but the relatively small amount of alcohol in your system makes it an easier decision. Perhaps it’s not the best decision, but you physically can’t stop yourself, knowing that he wants you too.

Swiftly, you grab his cap, putting it on your own head but backward, and you can confidently say that nothing has felt as right or as natural as throwing your arms around Jeongguk’s neck, and from the tips of your toes, connecting your lips to his.

You close your eyes, and you enjoy the softness of his lips, the taste of him, and the feeling of his arms pulling you closer by your waist. You just can’t get enough of him, wanting more and more and more. You let one of your hands venture below his shirt and up his toned stomach, pulling at his hair with the other as you tilt your head to get a better angle. Jeongguk groans, moving you backward against the brick wall until your back hits it. It’s an urgent kiss, lips moving hastily like you’ve been waiting for something for far too long or like you’re running out of time. 

Biting his bottom lip, you pull back half an inch. His chest moves with every breath against you, and the audible breath he lets out is so desperate and horny you’re not sure what to do with yourself.

You let go, laughing giddily, both in relief and surprise, before going right back to kissing him. This time, he urges your lips apart with his tongue, licking into your mouth. Unsurprisingly, he tastes a little of beer and some other alcoholic beverage, or maybe that’s also from you. Moving his hand, he pulls you flush against him by your waist.

“My place?” he asks after pulling away breathless, his lips ghosting the corner of your mouth. “It’s not far, like a six minute walk. Four if we hurry.”

You smile wide, face flushed and lips surely already swollen. When you peer up at him, still with your arms around his neck, you really see what you missed so much since you quit. Dark, almost black eyes, honeyed skin, the dark and defined eyebrows, and the most attractive nose. 

“Yes, but I’m like a ten second power walk away from getting blisters from these shoes just so you know.”

“Okay, there are, like, three options you can choose from,” he informs cheekily, smiling down at you in a way that has goosebumps rising on your skin. “Either I carry you, you power through and have me bandage you up later, or I fuck you in the next alleyway over.”

Heat spreads through your body, and your heart is going haywire as you try to keep your cool.

“How romantic.”

“I don’t care, I only need you.”

“Do you?” you tease, running a hand down his chest and toward his pants. After leaning sideways to peer behind him and confirm you’re alone, you dip your hand beneath the waistband of both his jeans and underwear.

He breathes a shaky breath when you touch him. Like always, he’s warm, and he’s big, and although he’s not rock solid, he’s definitely… firm. You run your thumb over the head, watching with a smile as Jeongguk’s heavy-lidded eyes stare you down.

“Continue like that and I’ll have to bend you over something right here.”

You gaze up at him somewhat innocently, jerking even slower than you used to. “I’d like to see you try.”

“Fuck. Can we go?” he almost pleads, shutting his eyes in pleasure and leaning his forehead against the side of your head. “I’m about to go crazy.”

You let go of him, pulling your hand out of his pants and nodding eagerly. God knows you’re just as affected as he is. Sure, continuing to tease him outside a bar like this sounds fun, but it’s nothing compared to the thought of having all of him, sweating above you, underneath you, inside you…

“I need to grab my jacket and bag.”

“I… need my jacket as well.”

Wiping your mouth and running your fingers underneath your eyes in case of any makeup smudges, you step back. “How do I look? I gotta look believable when I lie about going home because I don’t feel too good or something.”

“Heart-breakingly gorgeous,” he grins, lifting his hand to reclaim the cap you’d forgotten was on your head. He puts it on himself, adjusting it slightly. “What about me?”

Licking your lips, you inspect him briefly. Sure, his face looks a little bit flushed but not abnormally so after a night out. Your heart is beating way too fast, and you feel… high. 

There just isn’t anyone as attractive to you, no one you want more. 

“Stupidly hot. Like someone I’d almost let bend me over something and fuck me in an alleyway.”

He laughs, and you continue, “Maybe it’s the cap. You know I love it when you wear caps.”

“I know,” he grins.

Jeongguk surprises you by pulling you into him by your waist quickly, tilting his head to not poke you with the cap, and noses at your ear. “Be quick.”

Goosebumps rise on your entire body again, and when he lets go, you nod. “Meet back here in a minute or two?”

“Yeah.”

Body on fire from the inside, you search your brain for the best excuse. It’s not that you’d be ashamed of sleeping with a porn star but you feel like a bad friend for ditching your company, even though hanging out is a common occurrence and you spent time together after work only a few days ago. 

The booth is chatting wildly about something when you return, and so you approach quietly, not wanting everyone’s eyes on you for your performance.

Lisa, who’s on the far end of one side, and Doyoung, who’s at the other side, of course notice your return, their eyes watching you curiously. 

Doing your best to appear serious, maybe even a little… sad, or maybe disappointed, you keep your voice low. “I’ve gotta go. It seems me and him have a lot to talk about.”

“Oh?” Lisa raises her eyebrows, “You sure? He’s a good guy, right?”

“Yeah,” you nod assuringly because Jeongguk is definitely one of the good guys. “Don’t worry, I’ll be fine, we just need to… sort out some stuff as to why I quit and such.”

“Just call if you need anything,” Doyoung informs earnestly.

Once again, you nod, thankful to have good friends, maybe even better friends than you deserve tonight. On your way back out, your denim jacket unbuttoned over your shirt and with your bag in hand, you feel bad. It’s mostly for lying at this point, but the feeling is soon forgotten when you spot Jeongguk leaning against the wall after you’ve stepped outside. He’s wearing a jacket of his own, a black, oversized bomber jacket.

“Hi,” you smile, feeling almost giddy.

“Hey,” he returns, quick to push off the wall and look around. “What did you tell them?”

“That I left with you to talk everything out. Think they bought it. You?”

“The same, basically.”

“Okay…”

Half a second later, he’s approaching you quickly, grabbing your hand in his, “Come on, we should hurry.”

You laugh, letting him pull you with him. It’s not like you want it any less than he does. “Or what?”

He looks both ways before pulling you behind him across the street.

“Well, if I don’t have you in, say, ten minutes or so…”

A good kind of thrilling chill runs down your spine, and you quicken your step. “We’ll have to hurry then. This way?”

He confirms with a nod, and you walk in front of him, soon reaching another, deserted crosswalk and traffic light.

Before you can press the button, Jeongguk pulls you back by your hand, and somehow and very smoothly, spins you around so that you’re once again facing the traffic light.

However, your arm is wrapped across your stomach, and your back is pressed against his front. You hear the sound of the button being pushed next to you, and you feel him press himself even further into you. 

With no one around, you close your eyes, reveling in the quiet breath that ghosts your ear. “You have no idea how long I’ve waited for this.”

The sound of a car nearing has him untwirling you to face him, still holding your hand. The black car passes, but your moment alone is over as voices approach from behind. Peering behind him, you spot a group of young people, a lot more inebriated than you, closing in. The light turns green, and you start to cross.

Despite the ‘hurry’ you’re in, the group consisting of around seven people are faster, and after crossing the street, Jeongguk pulls you to the side with him to let the unruly party-goers pass.

You stand beside him, innocently placing your palm on his stomach while you watch the people–who look like they’re celebrating someone’s birthday–walk past you along the main street. You can’t help yourself, moving your hand in under his shirt instead and feeling his warm skin and defined muscles. 

“And you don’t think I’ve wanted you, or what?”

“I can’t answer that,” he says, groaning when you pinch his left nipple slightly.

“What? You said it yourself, that you thought–knew–we had something. Of course, I wanted you.”

“Mhm,” is all he says when you look up at him, bewildered.

“What is it that you’re not telling me? I’ll pinch harder if you don’t tell me. I’ll make you suffer.”

Jeongguk laughs at your warning, “You know I’m highkey into that, though.”

You’re about to deliver a double handed attack on his chest when he grabs both of your hands. You’re forced to follow when he starts to back away into a side street. 

“Where are we going? I thought it was that way?”

“It is, I just..” he positions you with your back against the wall of a building whose corner you just rounded, and he steps closer, letting go of your hands in order to push his body even closer to you. “I have a question.”

You feel his hands rest on your hips, and he wedges one knee in between your legs. You drop your bag, and it ends up on the pavement beside your feet with a low thud.

“Okay.”

“The contract. Your preferences. Is that… what…”

It’s in the way he licks his lips but still looks down at you in earnest. You’ve made out, but otherwise, it’s really only been you touching him. 

You take a second to collect your words, smiling as you explain. “I wasn’t sure when I started, and I didn’t change anything because if you were to touch me, I think I would’ve gone insane.”

“I mean… I definitely suspect they would’ve had to physically pull me away from you if you would’ve let me touch you, so maybe it was for the best. I would’ve lived between your thighs.”

Another wave of heat spreads through your body as you image the vision of him between your legs, both fucking you and eating you out. You’ve seen him do both acts countless times, have heard the sounds of pleasure echoing through the different sets.

One of his hands inches down from your hip to where the front pocket of your jeans ends. “So my question, I guess, is… what about now?”

You can barely think, but you know from the way he still looks so genuinely patient that he’s not doing anything else if you’re not clear with him. 

Despite never having any problems with it before and making it pretty clear he wanted to sleep with you, you feel bad for not asking him before putting your hand down his pants earlier.  

“Disregard them. I don’t want to be choked or intentionally hurt, and I’m not into anal, but besides that, if it’s not too crazy, do it.”

“Of course. Tell me if you’re ever uncomfortable.”

You nod your head, and he turns his, looking around. The street is empty, and so he returns his attention to you, continuing to move his hand. Just like you expected, he runs it directly to your crotch, tracing the middle seam in your jeans. Your hands move by themselves to grip at his shirt, and when he puts pressure right on your clit, your knees nearly buckle and you gasp.

“Oh my God,” he breathes at your reaction, licking his lips hungrily. Instantly spreading your legs wider with his knee, he repeats the action but faster, seemingly drunk on your body’s response. The overwhelming pleasure has you leaning your head back against the wall, your eyes closing and your mouth opening as you breathe faster.

“Jeongguk…” you moan quietly. He’s everything you see, hear, feel. 

“Fuck. You’re so responsive,” he groans, “How are you real? We should stop, we need to stop. I’d love to make you come in your pants, but I think I’d come in my pants too.”

Slowly, he stops and moves his hand back to your hip, clearly very affected. “I just know you’re wet. So soaked and turned on that anything I’d line up would sink right in. I bet you could even take my cock without any sort of prep.”

“You’re kind of a monster, though,” you say, fisting his shirt in your hand.

He chuckles, “I’m not that big. Just slightly above average.”

“Slightly above average for male porn stars. Who, naturally, are already above average. I don’t think anyone could take anything that size without prep.”

He rolls his eyes, “I was trying to dirty talk; of course I’m not just gonna shove it in. We’ll do it at your pace.”

“In that case, I probably am wet enough that it’ll slide just in,” you say, continuing his dirty talk. “Warm and wet, just for you.”

Almost like he can’t control it, his hand starts inching back down slowly, “And I bet you taste divine, like absolute heaven, fuck–we need to hurry.”

Once again removing his hand, he now takes a step back, grabbing your hands and pulling you away from the wall. What you don’t quite expect him to do is let go of you and bend down to throw you over his shoulder, grabbing your bag too.

“Jeongguk?!”

“I don’t want you to get blisters, but don’t worry, we’re not too far away now.”

You have an inkling that maybe he was worried your legs wouldn’t carry you, which… they would, but you would’ve definitely needed a few seconds to collect yourself.

The rest of the journey takes a little more than a minute–at least according to your half-sober calculations. Jeongguk can’t keep his hands off of you, patting both your ass and your thighs and making you giggle.

Occasionally, you pass some people, but you assume the reason no one is stopping him to check on you is due to your regular laughter. You, however, don’t even notice most of them before you see legs somewhere in your peripherals.

When you’re finally let down, you’re already inside the dark hallway of Jeongguk’s apartment. You brush the hair out of your eyes, instantly coming face to face with the man himself, who cages you in against the wall. It’s either one of his favorite things to do or he just associates you with the position; after all, it’s how you spent a lot of time on set.

He throws away his cap and sheds his jacket into a pile on the floor before he helps you out of yours, which then meets a similar fate.

“You’ve seen me naked so many times,” he murmurs, tugging a little on the neckline of your shirt.

“Probably more naked than clothed.”

“Exactly. So I think it’s only fair…”

“Then undress me,” you quip, moving away to back into the rest of the apartment with his hand held loosely in yours. “Where’s your bedroom?”

“Second to the right. You know, I think this is the best day of my life.”

Grinning, you lead him into the room, tearing your eyes away from his to briefly take in your new surroundings. The room is large, and there’s a big bed against one of the white-painted walls. It’s clean, but you can tell Jeongguk isn’t a neat freak because the duvet is pulled up somewhat haphazardly with no bedspread in sight, there’s a few items of clothing hanging over a dark blue loveseat in the corner, and a gaming console and a few game cases lie on the floor underneath the huge wall-mounted TV. 

“Adult film business pays well, I see?”

When you turn your attention back to him, he’s still watching you, shrugging halfheartedly. “I’ve got what I need. Now, at least.”

“How romantic,” you repeat your words from earlier. 

Jeongguk chuckles, helping you out of your shirt and tossing it in the direction of the loveseat. Immediately, you tug on his black t-shirt as well, and he yanks it over his head in a swift motion, dropping it to the floor. 

“I’d consider myself a romantic guy, yeah.”

You roll your eyes, letting him reach behind you to unhook your black lace bra, something he does effortlessly and with one hand. The back of your knees then hit the edge of his bed, and you go down.

“You’re even better than how I imagined you,” he swears, his hungry eyes on the way your tits bounce.

“You’ve imagined me naked?” you tease, crawling higher up on the bed.

He follows you, climbing onto the bed to stand on all fours above you. When you reach a hand out, touching his sternum, he sits back, seemingly wanting to take in the sight of you properly.

“I think you should strip for me,” you propose cheekily, making Jeongguk raise his eyebrow.

“Strip? I’m a porn star, not a stripper.”

“If I remember correctly, you played a stripper like a year ago. I know you can dance.”

“I promise I’ll dance for you next time, but the more urgent stripping is yours to do.”

You roll your eyes jokingly again, to which Jeongguk smirks, leaning down to kiss you passionately. 

Wrapping your arms around him, you tangle your fingers in the silver chain he wears around his neck. He continues to kiss you, but moves from your mouth to your jaw and then your neck. 

It’s addictive, the warmth of him against your skin, and you’re so desperate to have him close, wanting to feel every little part of him. His warm mouth on your pulse point has goosebumps rising on your body.

Continuing his journey, he kisses his way down to your breasts, groaning before enveloping your right nipple in his mouth. You moan quietly, moving a hand to his hair and keeping the other on his back.

He’s gentle in the way he kisses, sucks and bites on your nipple, using his other hand to pinch your left one between his fingers.

Way too soon, he lets go, and you open your eyes to see him looking down at you, just an inch or two away.

“You can’t leave any marks on me,” he reminds softly, and you blink, realizing your hold on his back caused your nails to form those half-moon marks on his skin.

You’re quick to let go, “Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” he smiles reassuringly, lowering his head and his main focus to your other breast, placing small kisses around your left nipple. “You know, if it were up to me, I’d let you leave all the marks.”

“Yeah,” you agree quietly, saddened by the reminder that he’s not yours. Even if he might want to be, which you’re not entirely sure of, you can’t make him yours. You focus on the feeling of his soft hair between your fingers.

Jeongguk doesn’t seem to notice, and you don’t dwell on it too long as he unbuttons your jeans.

“Can I?” he stops to wonder, gazing up at you.

“Go ahead,” you nod, and he hooks his fingers into the belt loops, pulling them down your legs.

“To actually answer your question, of course, I’ve imagined you naked. I’ve imagined you on set, fucking you instead of them, I’ve imagined you at home, here in my bed, letting me do whatever I want to you.”

His smirk has you pulling a little on his hair. “Well, you obviously don’t know me very well if you think I’d just ‘let you do whatever you want to me.’”

“I know.”

With your jeans removed, you’re left in nothing but a matching, black lace thong. “In fact, I think I remember saying that someone should fuck the brat out of you, and it looks like it might have to be me.”

You let go of his hair and lift your feet as he then slides your panties down your legs. Looking hypnotized, Jeongguk traces his fingers across your knees and licks his lips. 

“I mean, you can try. But right now, I gotta taste you before I go insane,” he says, putting his hands on your raised knees, intending on spreading them for his eyes.

“Nuh uh,” you object, scooting higher up on his bed and keeping your legs closed. “Not with that attitude.”

Jeongguk’s eyes go big and round, and it almost makes you laugh. 

You definitely feel desired, holding so much power in your hands. “You want to?”

“In this moment? More than anything in the world,” he admits in what sounds like pure honesty.

The smile that spreads across your lips is almost wicked. “Then you’ll have to follow my orders.”

“You’re evil,” he lets out, sounding almost like a whine, “what do I have to do?”

You laugh at his misery, trying to think of a plan and settling on one with a smirk. “I need you to answer a question first.”

“Okay, shoot.”

“How close?”

He looks at you, bewildered. “As close as possible?” 

“Hm, okay. You might regret that. Stand.”

Obeying without much thought, Jeongguk stands up, watching you intently and waiting for his next instructions. You take a second to admire him in the low light, no shirt and his jeans hanging low on his hips. He looks so warm, and you feel like you definitely won’t have the patience to tease him too much because you need his body against yours or you’ll freeze.

Your eyes trail upward, over his muscular chest to his arms and the veins that run across them. His tattoos look much darker in the low light, but you know them like the back of your hand anyway.

The silver chain around his neck is on the shorter side, begging for you to pull him in by. There’s a confident smile on his face, as he watches you check him out. Maybe you’ll definitely also pull him in by his hair.

If only he knew exactly how goddamn unbelievably wet you are for him, and the kind of absolute need and desire you feel for him. It’s a thrill and a goddamn confidence boost to know that it’s you having him follow orders just for the chance to pleasure you. It’s you he wants to be with, at least physically and at least in this moment.

“I want you to kneel by the end of the bed.”

Wordlessly, he sinks to his knees, keeping eye contact with you where you sit higher up on the bed, your legs still closed for him.

“Before I say so, you can not touch.”

He doesn’t have time to say anything before you slowly open your legs, and you almost laugh at how quickly his attention is turned from your face to your wet pussy.

To taunt him, you hold your middle finger in the air and then lower it to slowly and lightly run it up your slit. It feels good, the touch of your finger is almost electric, and the anticipation of having him somewhere right there is fueling your heartbeat all by itself.

Miserable, Jeongguk rests his cheek defeatedly against the bed. “I want you,” he complains.

“You’re a brat, though,” you remind, making a show out of touching yourself oh so slowly.

“I’m not. I’m good. I’m so good for you.”

“In the moment, yeah. Do you remember what your answer was?”

His eyes flicker to yours, and seeing the smug smile on your lips, he groans in what sounds like pain.

You close your legs, and Jeongguk sits up straighter, watching as you crawl toward him, stopping to sit in front of him with your legs to the right of him and your weight supported by your left arm.

“Remember, no touching.”

And so you swing your left leg over his head, resting both legs on his shoulders.

Immediately, he grabs your thighs, seemingly holding on for dear life. Since you technically touched him first, you guess you’ll allow it. “You’re the devil,” he breathes, eyes fixated on your sex and how it’s dripping for him just inches away. “I can’t believe you’re doing this to a poor, desperate man.”

Testing the waters, he blows on your cunt, but you do your best to ignore the sensation that has goosebumps rising on your arms. Instead, you put your finger right back, showing him just how you like your pussy touched. A moan slips from your lips as you circle your clit, breaths growing heavy when you instead lower your finger to slowly push inside.

“Because I want you to surrender.”

Suddenly grabbing your hand, Jeongguk holds it in the air and watches the wetness glint on your finger. He licks his lips, using his hand to guide your finger into his mouth.

But you’re not letting him, pulling your hand back from his open and awaiting mouth. “Uh uh.”

“Do you not want me to eat you out until you come? Stuff you full of my fingers? My cock?” he questions, eyes lowering to practically devour what’s in front of his face. 

“Of course, I do,” you admit honestly, even the thought making your head spin, “but first you–”

Despite boasting about the amount of sub roles he’s done, Jeongguk is not the best sub, evident by the way he suddenly pulls you closer toward him and dives face first into your pussy. You shriek, caught by surprise and then immediately overwhelmed by pleasure as he eats the hell out of you.

“Oh fuck,” you moan shakily, your hips moving by their own accord as he flicks his tongue over your clit.

“I’ll make you come so hard for doing that to me,” he pauses for a brief second to warn, as if that’s a punishment for you.

You shut your eyes tightly, arching your back off the bed as he continues french kissing your cunt. 

“How many times am I going to make you come tonight?” he wonders, his words strained. While he talks, you feel him put an intense pressure on your clit with his finger and slowly sink another into you. “Five is too little, but eight seems like overkill, at least tonight. Maybe next time. So, somewhere in between? Should we start at six? I want you to wake up tomorrow, after all.”

For a few seconds, you let him go back to desperately eating you out, slowly pumping his middle finger in and out of you, but his cheeky words and attitude have you thinking. He seems to enjoy the prospect of making you come over and over again almost a little too much, and isn't he the one who should be punished for failing to follow orders?

Your breaths are shallow, shaky, as he practically overwhelms you with his tongue, holding your hips as still around his head as possible.

Your entire body feels like it’s on fire, and you really don’t want him to stop because you’ve never felt this good and honestly, this desired and in love, but it will be worth it, you tell yourself.

“Stop,” you muster up an order, your voice breathy as the tension in your lower belly grows a little too quickly. 

He does, removing both his face and hand from you and looking at you with wide, almost worried eyes. “Why? Are you alright?”

You try your best to catch your breath, rising to your elbows to get a proper look at him.

“You can’t make me come.”

His worry turns more into confusion, “What do you mean? Of course I can.”

“No, I meant you’re not allowed to,” you grin, watching him piece it together, “cause you chose not to follow orders.” 

Jeongguk wraps both arms around your thighs again, holding them tightly, “So it’s not that you don’t want to continue this, but you just feel like denying me that pleasure because I didn’t follow your stupid orders?”

Your grin widens in confirmation. He uses his arms to spread your thighs further in front of him, redirecting his eyes down to your cunt.

“Your rules, are they the same as before?”

“I don’t know, I just want you to follow my instructions.”

“No, not those. Your rules; no choking, hurting, anal, or anything too weird, are they the same?”

“Oh. Yeah,” you confirm with a nod.

“You’re familiar with the color system of safe words?”

You raise your eyebrow at him, watching him still staring intently at your pussy laid bare in front of him. It looks like it’s taking all his concentration and willpower not to attack it.

“You mean red for ‘stop,’ yellow for ‘hold on, something’s not right,’ and green for ‘keep going?’”

“Yeah,” he answers, looking up to give you such a heated gaze, you feel yourself throb. “Cause if you want to deny me, you’re gonna have to fight me. I’ll have your six orgasms, thank you very much.”

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author's note: so... anyway, how's the weather where you're at?