Personally I Love All The Lan Sizhui & Lan Jingyi Acting As Translators For Lan Wangji Moments/headcanons/fics

personally I love all the lan sizhui & lan jingyi acting as translators for lan wangji moments/headcanons/fics but also the idea of either of them going “what hanguang-jun is trying to say—” and jiang cheng interrupting with “kids, I have been translating lan wangji’s face since before you first picked up your swords. thank you for trying to make this conversation family friendly but we both know hanguang-jun’s eyebrow twitch just called me a cunt and his jaw clench told me to go to hell”

I'm starting a collection

After shoving Hansel in the oven, the witch turns to Gretel - who is currently fending the witch off with a gingerbread chair - and says:

“I can’t believe you thought a trail of breadcrumbs would save you. I mean, honestly, this is a forest! It’s full of animals. Honestly, the very idea that a dumb shit like you thought you could get the better of me is absurd.”

Gretel hits her in the face with said chair. To be fair to the witch, she takes the chairshot like a champ.

“Ow!”

“Did you know,” says Gretel, “that crows are capable of facial recognition?”

“Eh?” Says the witch, clambering to her feet and pulling a candy cane sledgehammer off the wall. “What’s that got to do with anything?”

“Not only that,” Gretel continues, “but they can remember both friends and enemies. And they’ll often follow people they remember as friends.”

The two fence with their sugared weapons for a moment, before the witch knocks the chair out of Gretel’s hands.

“Enough with the bird facts! Honestly, this whole attempted escape has been utter clownshoes. Get in the fucking oven!”

She seizes Gretel by the collar. Gretel immediately sandbags, letting her whole body go limp. This eminently practical defense forces the witch to try and deadlift her. Which is hard, as the witch often skips leg day.

“For example,” Gretel says, as the witch struggles and grunts, “if you feed crows a lot of breadcrumbs, they’ll probably start to see you as a friend and follow you in the hope of more food.”

The witch stops. Outside, she hears the thunder of wings.

“They’ll even bring you shiny things they find as presents!” Says Gretel, as a corner of the gingerbread ceiling is suddenly cut away by a large crow with a knife in its mouth.

“Oh shitballs.” Says the witch, as the crows descend. “I hope you know this is a great unkindness.”

“Technically,” Says Gretel, “It’s a murder.”

i just love him so much i don't know what to do with my feelings. here, have a gif of my obsession. at least making gifs gives me a reason to stare at his face for hours on end.

wang ye + action scenes I AM NOBODY 异人之下 (2023)