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My favourite part of The Hobbit was when Thorin, after waiting decades to reclaim his homeland, abdicates the crown to Fíli less than a month after killing Azog and spends the rest of his life in the Shire as malewife to a rich, eccentric halfling

we justifiably give Biden a lot of shit but I think "at least 3" is the funniest possible response to some right wing dipshit asking you how many genders there are

shrimps is bugs

One of the company: What’s going on?

Also one of the company: Thorin thinks homophobic means “afraid of gay people”…

Thorin, standing in front of a homophobe with Bilbo: If I dont have a million pounds by tomorrow, I will kiss this hobbit on the mouth in front of your children.

I'm about to wii sports resort to violence

this tweet hasn't left my mind once in the two years since it's been posted

friends

anyone who said ryan gosling couldn’t pull off ken apologize NOW

“I’m like, ‘Okay, she’s a doll. She’s a plastic doll. She doesn’t have organs. If she doesn’t have organs, she doesn’t have reproductive organs. If she doesn’t have reproductive organs, would she even feel sexual desire?’ No, I don’t think she could,” Robbie said. “She is sexualized. But she should never be sexy. People can project sex onto her. Yes, she can wear a short skirt, but because it’s fun and pink. Not because she wanted you to see her butt.”

Margot Robbie said Ace Barbie Rights with her whole chest.

I'M SO HERE FOR THIS

Been rewatching Modern Family....

Bilbo, to the camera: So the house been a bit chaotic lately.

*cut to a clip of Kili running after Fili down the stairs*

Kili: Uncle! Fili took my favorite shirt again!

Fili: Kili doesn't even wear it and he lit my textbook on fire!

Kili: Did not!

Fili: Did too!

Frodo, walking by with a lighter: *stares at the camera and slowly walks backwards*

*cut back to Bilbo and Thorin*

Thorin: Yeah... Plus the rocket and the roof.

Bilbo: What rocket?

Thorin, freezing: I didn't say rocket.

Bilbo: Thorin, what rocket? What happened to the roof? I swear if there's another hole-

Thorin: I want to kiss you. Bilbo, not paying attention: What? Thorin: I said if you die, I wont miss you.

Had to illustrate what I envision literally every time I see this text post

when bilbo said "I miss my books, and my armchair, my garden. see that's where I belong, that's home, that's why I came back cause, you don't have one. a home. it was taken from you. and I will help you take it back if I can." while looking at thorin with so many feelings that's when thorin realized bilbo could be his home too. try to change my mind. you can't!

idk who needs to hear this rn but suffering is not noble. take the tylenol

dragons can do anything they want forever. dragons can do gender however they want. dragons can look however they want. dragons owe you nothing. majestic beasts

And while we are on the subject of thematic parallels…

huge fan of these trailer screenshots that make freddy and bonnie look like they just took the fattest bong rips of their lives

Okay, I honestly don't care whether the FNaF movie is good or bad. The fact that Universal is making a big-budget film based on an indie horror game that struggled to even reach its goal for production through crowdsourcing and is now 10+ games into its internationally-famous series just makes me REALLY happy.

Can’t believe that poor Peeta survived two Hunger Games, months of torture, and a war on the Capitol…

Only to be forced into a night shift security guard job at a pizzeria to support Katniss and their two kids.

Times are tough in Panem.

This is the only explanation for this I will accept

Thorin, sweating: So, I was wondering-

Bilbo: Oh, finally! You’re proposing!

Thorin: Yeah- wait, you knew!?

Bilbo: You accidentally dropped the ring 6 times during dinner.

Thorin: …

Bilbo: I even picked it up and handed it to you one time.