Just A Regular Question - The Significance Of -kun, -chan And -san (in What Context Are They Appropriately

Just a regular question - the significance of -kun, -chan and -san (in what context are they appropriately used)? Also, why Kiyoi is offended when Hira uses -kun ?

PS: if you have already explained this previously, please let me know where to find the post :)

Hi! Thanks for the question! I absolutely love talking about things like this, so thank you so much for asking!!

I feel like this is one of the most boring and at the same time most interesting question to ask about Japanese language, haha. The answer probably varies depending on who you ask, and so I am certain some people will want to add to or correct the explanation I'm about to give!

Wall of text incoming...

Here's a short introduction to some of the social hierarchy in Japanese language

...and how it affects your understanding of interpersonal relationships.

"-san", "-kun" and "-chan" are all examples of suffixes that you attach to people's names according to your relationship with them. The closest English equivalents would be "Mr/Ms/Mrs/Mx" but they are not the same. A lot of subtitlers do translate them like this, but I myself prefer not to do so.

Japanese language and culture is in general very polite and based on social hierarchy. The entire language and how you express yourself and how you conjugate words change depending on your relationship with the one you are talking to (strangers/business relation/family/younger/older/etc etc).

In general, once you get familiar with/close to someone, you drop all suffixes. This is called "yobisute" (呼び捨て). You might sometimes keep some form of "chan" if it's a deliberate nickname - like Koichi calling Mitsuru for Micchan in Eternal Yesterday (It's a cute version of Mi-chan - Mitsuru-chan).

"-chan" is mostly used to refer to kids below the age of 12 (elementary school or younger), but you will also hear young adults use it to refer to females (a male may call his college classmate Miko for "Miko-chan"), in which case it becomes a term of endearment (or, depending on how you look at it, slightly condescending due to the patriarchal nature of current Japanese society and language). Koichi using this nickname for Mitsuru is noticeable - it shows that he is very affectionate towards Mitsuru and considers them to be very close friends.

"You will meet Kim-san at 16:00"

"-san" is the most common suffix. It's the "safest" to use and it has no gender. The first time you meet someone, you would typically address them as "Last name-san", e.g. Suzuki-san. If someone refers to "Suzuki-san" in a conversation, you will not be able to tell the age, the gender or virtually anything about this Suzuki - except that the speaker is not particularly close with said Suzuki. In this case, it will be the equivalent to the English Mr./Mrs./Ms/Mx.

In a school or business setting, a teacher or a superior would normally refer to female students or subordinates with -san. They would add "-kun" to a boy's name. In Old Fashion Cupcake, Togawa says "Nozue-san" and Nozue says "Togawa-kun".

"-kun" is usually used to refer to boys younger than yourself, but typically above the age of 12ish (around junior high school age).

I know that technically it can be used to refer to a girl as well, but I have personally never heard or seen that. If someone refers to "Suzuki-kun", you would automatically assume that Suzuki is a younger male.

In the Utsukushii Kare setting, Kiyoi is creeped out by Hira referring to him as "Kiyoi-kun" because it is, well, kind of weird.

Girls will call their male classmates for "-kun" and it's fine, because it's kind of cute and submissive; if they're close friends, they'll usually drop it.

Boys will most likely just use last names only, adding no suffixes. Hira referring to Kiyoi as "Kiyoi-kun" not only puts a distance between them, but it even makes him sound submissive. Kiyoi is the only one whom Hira addresses this way - he just says "Shirota" and "Miki" etc. about everyone else.

Kiyoi isn't offended, he's just plain weirded out by it. When he asks Hira to drop it, Hira immediately objects with Muri dayo! ("No way!", "Impossible!") because to Hira, dropping the suffix means lowering Kiyoi from the pedestal that Hira has placed him upon.

Here, Kiyoi literally says "You were able to call (it/me)", because Hira for the first time drops -kun from Kiyoi's name, which immediately changes the relationship between them. Things like this are incredibly hard to get across in a translation, because it's such an ingrained and fundamental part of Japanese culture and language. But it is the first time Hira puts Kiyoi on the same level as himself.

I could do a whole other long post about how the way Japanese people talk tells you so much about who they are as a person (such as whether a boy uses "ore" or "boku" about themselves, or whether they use proper non-gendered speech (like "jyanai") or male speech (which would be "jyanee"). It is an incredibly effective way to show the relationships between characters in media, but sadly this will more often than not be lost in translation.

I hope this answered your question!!

My taste in romance has less to do with how romantic the relationship actually is (though that is a bonus) and more to do with how interesting I find the dynamic between the couple. Which is why fluffy vanilla romance usually bores the hell out of me. I want to see how these characters dramatically affect each other and fundamentally change each other and their individual understandings of the world!!! I want to see a beautiful tie-in between the romance and the themes + messages of the story and how it all builds to a climax!!!

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you fools . the narrator and stanley’s dynamic isnt “ableist parent and autistic child” . its “two autistic dudes on virtually opposite ends of the spectrum boxing it out”