We Created The Halfling Goncharov

We created the halfling goncharov

Concept: a D&D-style fantasy setting where humanity’s weird thing is that we’re the only sapient species that reproduces organically.

Dwarves carve each other out of rock. In theory this can be managed alone, but in practice, few dwarves have mastered all of the necessary skills. Most commonly, it’s a collaborative effort by three to eight individuals. The new dwarf’s body is covered with runes that are in part a recounting of the crafters’ respective lineages, and in part an elaboration of the rights and duties of a member of dwarven society; each dwarf is thus a living legal argument establishing their own existence.

Elves aren’t made, but educated. An elf who wishes to produce offspring selects an ordinary animal and begins teaching it, starting with house-breaking, and progressing through years of increasingly sophisticated lessons. By gradual degrees the animal in question develops reasoning, speech, tool use, and finally the ability to assume a humanoid form at will. Most elves are derived from terrestrial mammals, but there’s at least one community that favours octopuses and squid as its root stock.

Goblins were created by alchemy as servants for an evil wizard, but immediately stole their own formula and rebelled. New goblins are brewed in big brass cauldrons full of exotic reagents; each village keeps a single cauldron in a central location, and emerging goblings are raised by the whole community, with no concept of parentage or lineage. Sometimes they like to add stuff to the goblin soup just to see what happens – there are a lot of weird goblins.

Halflings reproduce via tall tales. Making up fanciful stories about the adventures of fictitious cousins is halfling culture’s main amusement; if a given individual’s story is passed around and elaborated upon by enough people, a halfling answering to that individual’s description just shows up one day. They won’t necessarily possess any truly outlandish abilities that have been attributed to them – mostly you get the sort of person of whom the stories could be plausible exaggerations.

To address the obvious question, yes, this means that dwarves have no cultural notion of childhood, at least not one that humans would recognise as such. Elves and goblins do, though it’s kind of a weird childhood in the case of elves, while with halflings it’s a toss-up; mostly they instantiate as the equivalent of a human 12–14-year-old, and are promptly adopted by a loose affiliation of self-appointed aunts and uncles, though there are outliers in either direction.

I shattered my screen but I'm making the most of it! 😋👍

Show him the fruits

surprisingly, this still remains probably the best and most concise explanation as to why the harry potter franchise didn't work and never could work in a satisfying way because of the author's limited perception of life and politics

A PSA

Hey! If you’re new here! You might’ve noticed that we have a BIT of a bot problem! And staff isn’t really doing much about it! A lot of users have taken to cleaning up the trash on their own, and some innocent people who are new to the site might get caught up in a wave of blocks and reports just for following a blog! Here’s how to avoid that!

1) Give your blog a title.

Just put a title on your blog. Your URL is one thing, but  just name your blog something. Even something as simple as “Not a bot” or “Just lurking” or even something more creative can help save you from a block!

2) Choose a profile picture

Find a picture of something you like! Make your blog unique! Google’s right there, so go get a profile picture and differentiate yourself from these random triangles and balls, or worse, the people with nearly/nude women as their picture! Most people won’t block if they sense a pulse, and having interests is a very not-bot thing to do! So express that!

3) Write a description!

You don’t have to get personal! Just put something unique! Unique here meaning “Different and doesn’t sound like something a bot would do”. Even a simple “Just lurking” or “Not a bot” will usually do. Don’t layer that on too hard though, or people might get suspicious! Just differentiate yourself so we don’t end up sweeping you up in the waves of blocking the spam!

4) Reblog things!

This isn’t twitter! There is no algorithm! Likes don’t do anything! Help the blogs you like seeing by spreading their posts via reblog! It shows you’re a real person, and engages with the community with MINIMAL effort! Know what bots won’t do? Reblog a really funny post that tumblr user beans-4-hire with a clever joke about a thing they’re into. Bots tend to reblog porn. Just porn. Share literally anything else and you’re fine

5) Change your URL!

The default urls read like a collection of unrelated words and act as a placeholder. Just choose one that isn’t “fantasticallyovertgiraffes” or something. Your goal here is just to look like you’re not a bot, and this is a really powerful step to doing so. Don’t use your real name, follow basic internet etiquette, and maybe include something that interests you. Think of it like an old AOL screen name or something. You can even use those if they’re not too embarrassing!

6) Act like a human

Humans are unpredictable. Do what you like. Share what you like. Be what you like. Interact as little or as much as you want. Variety is the spice of life, and if you’re alive, that means you’re not a bot and unlikely to get falsely flagged as one, and thus blocked and reported.

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Furthermore, I’d like to apologize to tumblr users beans-4-hire and fantasticallyovertgiraffes, if they exist, for using their URLs without checking to see if they’re real.