Petey Boy :)

petey boy :)

he’s done nothing wrong ok canon doesn’t exist 🤞

I think I’ll defend dad bod james and chubby regulus until I die

—I don't want to hold you back from where you might belong. (jegulus)

based on my post about james going to Sirius’ flat after a breakup and waking up regulus

“I’m sorry, James. I just…this isn’t going to work. I think we both thought it would if we tried and made sacrifices and we did but…I can’t do it anymore. It’s not…it’s not worth it. I’m sorry.”

The bus was practically empty at this time of night. Other than himself, there was a younger woman who clearly just finished a long shift at work, an elderly gentleman at the back who had fallen asleep twice, and a couple in the corner whispering and giggling at everything the other said. James was at the front, his temple pressed against the cold, frosted up glass. It seemed to make his headache go away, but his chest was still in pain. That probably wasn’t going away for a while.

Rachel was gone. Just like that. She told him to leave so she could figure out her next move, and so he left. He packed a bag and walked out in silence as she cried, and got on the first bus that he could. He hadn’t even put up that much of a fight when she broke up with him because he had seen it coming, felt it coming, but couldn’t bring himself to consider that she’d actually go through with it. That she’d dump him because they weren’t compatible, not anymore.

James was spontaneous. He loved adventure and jokes and trying new food and visiting new places with his friends, he was a social butterfly that needed love from everyone around him, not just one person. Rachel was the opposite. She wanted to stay at home, settle down now, start trying for kids whether they were married or not. And he loved her. He loved that life just…not yet. He was only 26 for god sake, he had one pregnancy scare with Lily and that was enough. They’d laughed about it when the test came back negative; laughed because they couldn’t be parents at 20. They just couldn’t. He still didn’t want to be one at 26, and Rachel didn’t understand why. She was a few years older than him, sure, but they had talked about their future early. She said she’d wait for him, that she understood the pressure.

And then…then she stopped waiting.

James wasn’t mad at her, really. She wanted that life and he was technically holding her back from it. Even with the ache in his heart and the pit in his stomach he knew this was right. That staying together would mean more fights about not being engaged when ‘all of her friends are married already’, and James begging her to hang out with his friends for once. Rachel wasn’t a fan of their pub night outs and band gigs, it was all too loud and boisterous.

God, James thought as the bus turned a corner and his head thumped against the glass, we really weren’t going to work.

He looked out at the road they were on and leaned forward, thump pressing into the red button on the pole for the bus to stop. The bus turned another corner before stopping at the familiar road and James stood up. He pulled up his hood to hide his face from the rain and quietly thanked the driver as he got off, stepping out into the late October weather and grimacing. He missed summer. He missed swimming in the ocean and kicking sand up as he ran down the beach with Ra—

His hand clenched around the strap of his bag and he walked towards the house, knowing it just by how many steps it took to get there. He felt heavy as he walked, converse splashing water over the pavement and shouldering the bag so it didn’t slip. The familiar black door came into view and he glanced up when he noticed a blue glow from one of the bedrooms. Regulus. If he was home then Sirius probably was, which was a good sign.

James pressed the doorbell and stepped back, hunching his shoulders as the wind began to pick up again. He shivered just thinking about what Rachel was doing right now, in the flat all alone. Was she crying? Was she exhausted? Was she relieved? Maybe she had already told all her friends and they’d come over to comfort her? Or celebrate. They hadn’t liked James all that much anyway. He blinked back tears—or was it rain—and just pressed the doorbell again; twice in quick succession.

Hurry up, Sirius.

He was about to press it again when he heard the latch, and he exhaled as the door opened, a figure standing there.

“Hey, I know it’s late, I just—“ James looked up and blinked. “Reg?”

“It’s almost one in the morning, James.” He grumbled, rubbing his face tiredly. James blinked again. He was stood in an oversized jumper and some boxers, feet in fluffy socks to keep the heat in.

“Is your brother here?”

“What? No, date night.” Regulus yawned and James mentally kicked himself for being stupid enough to forget that Thursday was date night. His mind had been elsewhere, was his only excuse. “What do you want? I was asleep.”

“Fuck, I’m sorry.”

“What do you want? You’re letting the cold in.” Regulus looked tired, fed up even. James really had woken him up.

“I—Rachel broke up with me.” Regulus stared at him, then he frowned. James rolled his eyes. “She was my girlfriend for two years? You met her. Three times.”

“Was she blonde?”

“Brunette.”

“Oh. My condolences. Why are you here?”

“Christ, I’m upset and wanted to see your stupid in-a-perfect-relationship brother, but if he’s not here I’ll just…fuckin’ go somewhere else.” James put his face in his hands, trying to regulate his breathing. Where else could he go? Maybe the train station? Could call his parents and ask them if he could stay, but that meant three hours of travel and he had no idea if the trains ran this late on a Thursday. He started to feel his breath get shaky, and he willed himself not to cry before he heard a frustrated sigh.

“Come in. Hurry up.” Regulus had stepped to one side, wrapping an arm around his middle as he beckoned James in with a scowl.

James didn’t hesitate. It was too cold outside to start arguing and he could just wait for Sirius and Remus to get back…the next morning. Fuck.

“Thanks…” he gave Regulus a half-assed smile and received an eye roll in return. James took off his shoes and set his bag down, occasionally staring at Regulus as he wasn't moving or even looking towards the stairs in a not so subtle hint that he wanted to leave. He was just...watching him. Arms folded, eyes sharp and jaw set. It was a bit unnerving but James had grown up around him, he was used to this. "I'm sorry I woke you up."

"You would have woken me up even if Sirius was here," Regulus pointed out and James nodded awkwardly. "Would you like some tea?"

Now that caught him off guard. "What?"

"Tea? You're sad, I'm offering you tea."

"Uh...sure? Milk and four sugars." Regulus grimaced. "Don't judge me."

"It's disgusting." He muttered as he padded into the kitchen, a light flicking on as he started rummaging through cabinets. James stood in the hallway for a little while before eventually making his way through the house behind him. Regulus usually stormed off upstairs whenever Sirius' friends were around, not even making an attempt at being polite. But James wasn't going to complain about the gesture he was being offered now, especially since he could really do with a hot mug of tea.

"Did you walk here?" Regulus asked, putting two tea bags into seperate mugs.

"Bus."

"You really need to learn how to drive." He pressed the button on the kettle as James snorted, seating himself at the kitchen island and shrugging off his damp coat.

"Yeah, I know. My Mum tells me every time I take the train to see her."

"She's right." Regulus turned and leaned his back against the counter, arms folded again. He looked cosy, James realised. Like he had just been bundled up in a bunch of blankets with the radiator going. He felt bad, then, for waking him. Although, if Sirius were here it would probably be worse. Having to listen to them talk until god knows when, probably get drunk to take James' mind off of the break up.

He recoiled a little. He almost forgot.

Regulus, being the observant person that he was, cocked his head a little. "Are you okay?"

"Hm? Oh...no, not really." James fiddled with his hands on the island. "She, uh, I really cared about her." Regulus didn't say anything, as if waiting for him to continue talking. "I'm not very good at the relationship thing, I think. I don't...want what everyone else wants. I'm not ready to have kids or even get married yet...someday, sure but...I just like having fun."

"You're too young for children." Regulus said and James shrugged.

"Rachel didn't think so."

"Well, that's her opinion. And it's wrong."

James winced. "You don't have to be so blunt about it."

"I'm just saying what I'm thinking." Regulus turned a second before the kettle was ready and James watched him delicatley pour the water into each mug, making sure they were equal measures before taking the milk out of the fridge.

"Can I have ski—"

"Skinny. I know." Regulus already had the carton in his hand and James felt taken aback. He remembered? He wasn't sure if Regulus had ever made tea or coffee for him before, maybe Sirius had told him? Once James tea was done, he poured in oat milk for his tea—barely even a drop—and stirred in the ridiculous amount of sugar for his guest and just some honey for himself. Regulus turned, handing the mug to James and then going back to leaning on the counter. "I'm sorry she broke up with you."

"I mean...it wasn't going to work."

"But you wanted it too."

"Yes, obviously. I'm in love with her."

"Love isn't always enough to make a relationship work." James stared at him in shock. Regulus was a wise person, even though he was a couple years younger than James, and sometimes he said things that really blew him away. He slowly reached for his tea and sipped it with a hum, his body relaxing at the warm, sweet taste.

"Thank you." Regulus gave him a curt nod before sipping his own tea. "She...it's for the best. Even if it sucks ass right now."

"At least you understand that. A lot of people would be crying by now."

"I cried when I was in the lift." James admitted and he thought he saw the hint of a smile on Regulus' lips. "That's not funny."

"I'm not laughing."

"You're holding it back, I know you."

"You don't."

"I grew up with you, I know you almost as well as I know Sirius." Regulus scoffed but didn't say anything else, just took another sip then looked at him.

"I think...even though she is valid for her wants and needs, so are you. You deserve someone who wants the same things that you do. You're a good man, James. Even if you are annoying."

James pouted. "I'm not that annoying."

"When you're not around Sirius, you're okay. Otherwise...almost unbearable."

"Ah! Almost!" James grinned at him and Regulus suddenly seemed to look rather flushed. "Thank you for the tea, I can sleep on the sofa until Sirius get's home?"

"Stay in his room. He won't come back until the morning and he'd kill me if he thought I'd let you sleep down here." Regulus said. "There's towels in the airing cupboard if you want a shower. Sirius won't care if you borrow his clothes, I assume half of your wardrobe is his anyway."

James scoffed. "Maybe like...a shirt or two."

"He wears your old University hoodie almost every day. You're practically married." James smiled fondly. If only Sirius hadn't met lovely old Remus, maybe he'd snatch him up for himself. Handsome, intelligent, wickedly funny and probably a beast in the bedroom.

Maybe James should try dating men for a bit...

"Thanks, Reg. You're pretty nice when you're sleepy." James teased, reaching over to ruffle his hair and laughing when Regulus tried, but failed, to dodge out of the way. He huffed at him and hid his face behind the mug as James got up and shouldered his bag again. "Cheers for letting me stay."

"Whatever. Don't drip water on the carpet. You're like a wet dog." James resisted the urge to shake his hair out. As he was walking to the stairs, Regulus called out to him. "You'll find someone when you're ready." He said, and James looked over his shoulder at him. Regulus swallowed. "Just...you're a nice person. Anyone would be lucky to have you."

James smiled softly at him. "You're just as sweet as Sirius, you know." He said, and made his way up the stairs to have a shower and pass out.

When he was gone, Regulus felt like he could breath again. He put the mug down and covered his face with his hands, wondering how the hell he got through that without breaking. James was single again, after two years he was on his own again. Regulus felt sick for being happy about it, because he shouldn't be. James was hurting and there was no way he'd ever just dive in and try to...well, he'd never be confident enough to try and 'woo' him anyway.

He was a loser. Sirius' weird little brother that stayed in his room all day and had the biggest, gayest crush on James Potter that he could barely hide. And then he turned up on his doorstep dripping wet, looking like a kicked puppy, and was now going to be sleeping one wall away from him. He groaned.

James was going to be the death of him, and god he was sick for knowing he'd enjoy every moment of it.

This is always relevant

Gender envy is such a violent feeling for me.

Like no, I don't want to copy your haircut or style. I want to suck out your soul and inhabit your body like a parasite.

A little dorlene couch cuddle for @uhhlifeig