Lampyko - ☆Vivi☆

Just two siblings totally not doomed by the narrative

+ process

doodles of them younger

ramblings of a drunken chuuya nakahara

Fuck you for leaving. It was killing you to stay. I’m happy you got out. I’m pissed I'm still thriving here, without you. Fuck you. I miss you. Come back. You left me in the middle of the night without a word, I never want to see you again. I’m so angry with you, i dont blame you for anything. You hurt me, he was hurting you. You hurt him, he never deserved it. He was a baby Dazai. How could you. I get it. I can’t stand the sight of your face. You’re the only one who an bring me back from the brink of destruction. I make you feel alive. I’ve hurt you too, are we really even human anymore? What are we to each other? Enemies, lovers, does it even matter? We will never be fully rid of each other. I’ve known you since we were 15. You wanted to make this pretty little thing your lap dog, i wanted to kill you. A part of me still does, how can it not. I never want to lay a hand on you again. I want to tenderly hold and kiss your scars. I’m sorry for the ones i caused you. You’ve given me several of my own. You push me to your feet and i willingly go. I pull you on top of me, you crush all the air from my lungs, a force stronger than the gravity i wield so deftly everyday. How can i live without you. Everytime i see you my heart soars, everytime i see you it breaks all over again. I worry for you, don't hurt yourself, please don't leave me again. Let’s let off steam, i’ve hit the wine, you’re caught up in your head again. We don’t have to talk, just be with me. Open your mouth again and I'll punch your teeth in. Let me scoop you up in my arms, it’s okay, you're safe here. I’m sorry. Words you never said to me. I’m sorry he hurt you, i’m sorry you had no one. I’m sorry i wasn’t there. You never let me in. i tried. I never let you in either. Aren’t we a perfect, broken pair? Fuck you. I love you.

So I hate facetime but have two small nephews who live very far away and wanted them to know who I was. So when second nephew was born, I started sending first nephew (4 years old) a postcard every week.

The content wasn't anything special. I made cookies, I saw this flower, my cats did this. He likes trucks and machinery so I scoured redbubble for anything related to machinery and got a giant batch of machine postcards. Whenever I traveled, I'd hunt down a postcard for him.

My second nephew turned four this year, and I started sending him postcards as well. Both of them like Pokemon now, so mostly it's been double Pokemon postcards every week. I don't hear much from them, or my sister, so I just generally hope they're enjoyed and try to remember to mail them before Sunday.

However. This week my mom informed me second nephew likes the postcards SO MUCH he brings them into daycare to show around. And when I shared that with my sister, she told me not only does he bring them into daycare, he sleeps with them at naptime.

The only higher honor would be for her to tell me he's eating them.

I was wrong. The two sandwiches that I made with that omelette with zucchini were delicious. I won this battle, but for how long will I stay winning?

My mom asked me if I liked omelette with zucchini and I couldn't remember if I liked it or not so I said yes. I think I didn't like it but I can't just go in the kitchen and tell her to stop cooking. This dinner will be a battle, and I already see myself loosing