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There's a queer family in front of me at church.

A child

with hair shorn short

a rainbow dress

with leggings

and a big smile

as they play with their siblings.

A parent

with pink dye growing out

an upside-down triangle

tattooed on their wrist.

There's a pair of girls on the left side of the chapel

who love theatre

and boy scouts

and their mom is wearing slacks

and their dad kisses

the tops of their heads.

And the woman two pews ahead

picks up her water bottle

and looks around

before taking a long sip

showing off

the rainbow stickers

in case our eyes are watching.

Good morning, Queerstake! Thank you to everyone joining us for our community fast and letter writing campaign in response to the 2024 Church Handbook update with regards to transgender people. The policy update has shaken all of us. It is exclusionary and degrading. But we will find strength in each other as a community and courage in our efforts to effect change in this church that belongs not only to the General Authorities who authorized this policy update but also to all of us. Change in the Church happens from the ground up. Harmful policies have been issued and redacted before in our own lifetimes! We deserve to be treated with respect.

Today, we will fast together as a community that the Lord softens the hearts of the First Presidency. We will also write and send letters expressing our grief. Please don’t be quiet about your feelings today. Share your heartbreak with as many of your fellow ward and Queerstake members as you feel comfortable doing. Please post your feelings as well so we can inspire and uplift each other as we write our letters. It’s important that our grievances are heard.

Please send physical letters to:

The Office of the First Presidency

47 East South Temple Street

Salt Lake City, UT 84150

If you are unable to send a paper letter to Salt Lake, because I was not able to find an appropriate email, please instead email your letters to me at QUEERSTAKEONTUMBLR@GMAIL.COM. I’ll print and mail them myself.

Edit: @nerdygaymormon found an email address! Please feel free to send email to lgbt@churchofjesuschrist.org. However, you are still more than welcome to send them to me to print. In fact, why not do both!

A quick word of caution: Of course, no one can guarantee the type of responses we might receive for these letters. In fact, I urge you to consider using a pseudonym in order to avoid potential church discipline. Please take care to note what legal name or return address might be associated with your membership records. I don’t want to scare anyone, especially because we’re doing nothing wrong, but it’s always good to be very aware of what might make it back to your bishop.

Thank you again to everyone for joining. I’ve always felt so supported and uplifted by Queerstake. I know that our Heavenly Parents love us just as we are and that they don’t want us excluded and humiliated in our wards. We have unique and valuable testimonies to share. We don’t go unheard by our Heavenly Parents.

I’ve included a few sample letters and templates below the cut for people who might need a shortcut for one reason or another. You are welcome to send them verbatim or modify them.

#1

Dear First Presidency,

I'm writing to express my grief and concern over the 2024 handbook policy update on transgender people.

I believe that Christ invites all to come unto him and that as Christ's church, we have a responsibility to embrace people from all walks of life. No other demographic within the church is being treated with such severity as our transgender siblings under this new policy. I fear our transgender siblings in Christ will feel excluded and degraded, and we will lose many great members.

I believe it's of the utmost importance that we express Christlike love and charity even to people we don't understand. There is no excuse for asking transgender youth to leave activities with their peers as though they are a danger. There is no excuse for not allowing transgender people to work with children or humiliating them in our bathrooms. This is a demographic of people who have suffered in our society and Christ would want us to reach out to them with open arms. I humbly and respectfully ask that you reconsider these policy changes with regards to the doctrine of unconditional love that the church espouses. I beg you to consider the church experience of our transgender siblings in Christ and to prioritize their feelings over the feelings of people that wish to hurt them.

Thank you for your time.

#2

Dear First Presidency,

I feel deeply grieved by the Handbook update on transgender people. As a transgender member myself, I am doing everything I can to remain in the church and exclusionary policies like these make me feel deeply unwanted and deeply unloved.

I understand very well the church's position on gender, but I hope that despite that position that I might still be able to feel Christ's love at church. Our Heavenly Parents put me on this or Earth as a transgender person. I am not a danger to children and I am not a predator in bathrooms. I am your sibling in Christ. I want to serve in church. I want to serve in teaching positions. I want to serve the youth. I believe that we attend church with the purpose of uplifting each other and studying our religion together as a ward family. I want to be edified and I want to edify.

President Hinckley said every member needs a calling, a friend, and the word of God, and if I'm treated this way at church, I'm not receiving any of those things. If I can't have a real role to play within my ward, then I have no responsibility. If I am treated as an outsider and an enemy and a predator by policy and by my fellow church members, then I don't have a friend. If I can't also receive Christ's gospel through the love of the people around me, then I'm not receiving the real word of the Lord.

I seriously urge you to reconsider this policy update. I beg you on behalf of myself and my transgender siblings in the church to not hate us and to not exclude us.

Thank you for your time.

#3

Dear First Presidency,

I felt ______ when I heard about the new policy update to the handbook about transgender individuals. I believe we should treat our transgender members with the love and respect they deserve as our siblings in Christ.

I urge you to reconsider this policy update because ______

Thank you for your time.

#4

Dear Leadership of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints,

I'm writing to express my grief and concern over the 2024 handbook policy update on transgender people, which I have been made aware of due to the negative impact it is having on my [friend(s)/family/loved ones].

The reputation of love, kindness, and family values that your church fosters with its programs, teachings, and community outreach is undermined by your continued exclusion of LGBT+ members and specifically with this policy change of your transgender members.

My [friend(s)/family/loved ones] have expressed _____ in regards to the August 19, 2024 changes to the handbook that relegate transgender members of your church to second-class citizens within the organization, and deny them the full capacity of worship and belonging within your church; all because of something so insignificant to their capacity to worship and belong to a community as their gender being different than the gender that they were assigned at birth. This decision _____ me/ negatively impacts my view of your church.

Thank you for your time.

I believe that there is no excuse for asking transgender youth to leave activities with their peers as though they are a danger. There is no excuse for not allowing transgender people to work with children or humiliating them in your bathrooms. This is a demographic of people who have suffered in our society and I believe that every person needs to reach out to them with open arms. I respectfully ask that you reconsider these policy changes with regards to the doctrine of unconditional love that the church espouses. I beg you to consider the church experience of your transgender members and to prioritize their feelings over the feelings of people that wish to hurt them.

I've realized a disconnect between me and my Exmo friends is that I see "Joseph Smith was a wacky imperfect goober of a man" as a hopeful and humanizing statement and they see it as a fundamental problem and proof that my religion is evil.

I recently got the Oxford "Annotated Book of Mormon" from the Library, and I love it

Reading "Come, Follow Me" this week, I found an interesting polarity "Faith-Skepticism"

In Alma 30, we read about Korihor, in 31, the Zoramites. And, in the original chapters, 30 & 31 were in the same chapter, indicating a connection between them

Korihor represents Extreme Skepticism (yes, I know, he never disbelieved, but that was his philosophy), while the Zoramites exhibit Blind Faith

This may be controversial, but Skepticism isn't a bad thing. God created us as rational beings, to think about things. He didn't create rationality so we could ignore it. Science is rooted in skepticism (I'm not sure if this is right, so I'll test it vigorously)

Skepticism is only negative when it prevents one from actually applying Faith. The Lectures on Faith make it very clear that Faith is an Action, not merely a belief. Next Week, we read one of the most important sermons in the Book of Mormon (Alma's Parable of the Seed). He makes it clear that we can only see the affects of the seed if we nurture it, and let it grow

Many Scientists were also Men of Faith (such as Heisenberg, or Newton). Even those who weren't religious didn't outright deny the possibility. For example, Darwin was active in his Church while writing "On the Origin of Species," said until his death he didn't know if God was real or not, but wasn't going to assume he's not there (and he once told a group of atheists that it was folly to say God didn't exist, because you can't know)

The idea of Science being anti-god is only so popular nowadays because of people such as Dawkins, who (like all too many people, religious & atheistic) don't understand what Faith actually is

On the other hand, there is Blind Faith. The Zoramites had faith, that is for sure. The Zoramite Prayer only consists of Thanks, and no requests. But what did that Faith lead them to? It led them to Pride (we're unconditionally saved, you're unconditionally damned). It led them to neglect & even condemn the poor (similar to the "Seed Faith" we see, especially with Televangelists). It eventually led them to War, because of their blind hatred for an "other" they had created (which is sadly too common in the Modern Church, be it with the LGBT Community, Liberals, or even Beards (yes, there is a story behind that. And yes, I do have a glorious beard))

So, what did Mormon want us to learn? We have 1% of the records he had, and even then, they're abridged. Everything in the Book of Mormon has a reason to be there.

I think he wanted us to acknowledge that humans have Polarity inherent in us. We have to learn how to balance that polarity if we are going to be healthy & happy. We can't let either Skepticism or Faith lead us. We need to test the "Seed of Faith," and see if it is good. We can't let Faith overrule us (and inadvertently let Wicked Seeds infest us), and we can't let Skepticism overrule us (refusing to test any seeds)

If we see a beggar on the street, Skepticism can lead us to help him ("what's God going to do for him"). If we are that beggar, Faith can allow us to accept the charity they need ("God sent that person to help, so I'll accept their help"). These are two opposing forces, but they both lead to God's Will being done (charity being given). We need to learn how to balance, and when to express each attribute

telling people I still go to church makes me feel like I'm perry the platypus putting on his fedora

If you know, you know

(lds teenager) I think I'm aroace and that scares me -- what should I do

First, congratulate yourself! Recognizing the absence of something is really much more complicated than what most people go through. 

Aromantic people still want acceptance and emotional connection with others as much as any other person. Aromantic people can have long-term, happy relationships with a partner.

While romantic love is not something you experience, you do have the capacity to love. You can experience a deep love for your parents, children, pets, and yourself. You can develop intense friendships, have nurturing and rewarding relationships and build strong bonds of love and respect with whomever you choose. However, these relationships will always feel platonic to you, not romantic.

Asexuality is a lack of sexual attraction. As for sex, there's a spectrum. Some ace people are sex repulsed, but enjoy other forms of physical intimacy like cuddling, holding hands, and affectionate touching. Others enjoy sex, or sexual pleasure even if it’s not with another person.

I know ace people who are happily married. They don’t desire sex, but they recognize it’s a need for their partner and together they figure out when and how often and so on.

For any relationship to last, there needs to be friendship, trust, interest, commitment, collaboration. You can excel in all those things. You can learn your partner’s love language.

One thing I've seen over the years is most people find someone to share their life with. Most people wind up marrying a friend. If you want to marry, make friends. Find people who you enjoy being with. You may develop a squish for someone, that desire to have a more intensely personal friendship with them. There is absolutely no reason why you cannot have the life you dream of.

Being aroace is not a reason to be afraid. Being aroace is not a tragedy, it's simply a different way of experiencing life.

"Mormons are bad" Sorry that I'm having whimsical fun and doing joyous activities at my church 😢 yay volleyball yayy slime making yayy snacks yay temple visits yay fast and testimony day yay people at my church being very nice to me yayyy book of mormon !! Yay!! Yoohoo!! 😁 ^_^ :3 :DD

NEW TEMPLE IN SCOTLAND

CONGRATULATIONS TUMBLRSTAKE CHATTER YOU WIN A PRIZE!!!!! 🎉🎉🎉

insta link

Elder Kearon’s talk really summarizes why I’m still a believer, because our theology is so forgiving, so open, so universalist, so tender. The God of our theology is constantly giving us chances to come back, to come to Him, to learn, to improve. He doesn’t turn anyone away. He wants us back so much that he even has plans in place for us to grow and learn and join the right path after we die! We get so many chances to mess up and pick ourselves up and try again! It’s such a hopeful, welcoming message.

So there was a day when I was having an exceedingly hard time with my self-esteem because of my ADHD. I went to the temple with my husband and was just bawling my eyes out.

We left the Celestial Room, and I was barely holding it together. I was on the verge of openly sobbing again as I was putting my ceremonial clothing away. An older woman reached out and hugged me and I lost it. I couldn't even hear what she was saying to me, I was crying so hard.

She was a mom. She responded with the instincts of a mom. And once I could stem the tide, she was afraid she had somehow made everything worse!

She hadn't. She was so lovely. She did exactly what I needed. And all I could do was assure her that I would be okay and thank her for being there.

The temple is a beautiful place to be having a good day. It's also a great place to be when you're having a mental breakdown. The temple is for all times and seasons in our lives, including the messiness of being human.

MY SISTER TAUGHT THAT LADY ON HER MISSION!

The photo came up and she just went, "Oh my gosh! I know her! I taught her!"

How cool!

I thought I was an overthinker but this woman took seventy years to join the church so I’m feeling better about it now. It’s okay to take a while to examine yourself and your feelings.

Love marginalized people, queer people, minorities.

Cool! Make it institutional too please.

Thinking celestial meaning listening to the spirit and being peacemakers is something that I can get behind.

You're right Elder Renlund, hubris never bodes well. But it's usually funny

"Most people who are struggling know that they're struggling" Idk I really like this part, because he's calling out the habit of like. Just quoting scripture at someone. or reminding them of church rules. He's rightfully saying thats unhelpful. People need friends and they need to feel supported. They don't need to be lectured to.

"Our judgment is neither helpful nor welcome, and most often ill informed."