Just Read Running Blind By TheTriggeredHappy On Ao3 And I Genuinely Think It Was The Best Fic I've Ever

Just read Running Blind by TheTriggeredHappy on ao3 and I genuinely think it was the best fic I've ever read holy-

the inexplicable urge to bust out the bean bag whenever i see a spy pull out their fancy sofa in front of me. i don't care that we're in the middle of a match we're having a father-son bonding moment whether you like it or not

cringe culture is dead post tf2 mlp concept

medic: unicorn. partly just vibes, partly because i think he would probably need magic for his work, maybe instead of a medigun he just casts a spell or something ??? idk.

scout: pegasus. instead of jumping really high and running really fast, mfer can just Fly. ALSO! it kinda makes sense with his class symbol so!!!

engineer: earth pony. horn = no hard hat, and he doesn’t really fit the Vibe of unicorn or pegasus, imo. also he’s southern so im not entirely unbiased by the actual show lmao

pyro: dragon. but like, pony sized, maybe a bit bigger. makes sense because breathing fire and also i genuinely could not figure out earth pony, pegasus, or unicorn for them

spy: unicorn. he’s got the Unicorn Attitude, and mayhaps there is some sort of disguise spell he uses? whatever this doesn’t have to make total sense

heavy: earth pony. he’s got the vibe i think. i can’t really see him with wings or magic, so earth pony for him 👍

soldier: pegasus because i think it would be funny if his wings looked like bald eagle wings and also because of rocket jumping = flying. do you understand. otherwise i would’ve made him an earth pony

demo: unicorn. i think you probably need magic to make bombs because hooves are most likely very difficult to work with. also because he deserves it methinks

sniper: earth pony but really thin and bony. because. gestures. yeah. and yes he still has a gun he shoots it with his hooves somehow. don’t ask me

i haven’t watched mlp in a while tho so maybe this is inaccurate idk 💯 anyways. into the fog with me

I hate that I’m always trying to find cool biology themed stuff to wear but all the “nature inspired” clothing companies just have like two crossed arrows or a minimalistic mountain on a sweatshirt. Fucking lame, that’s barely even nature-adjacent. Put the life cycle of a salamander on a jacket, put hyena skeleton patterns on leggings, put a damn field guide of birds of prey on a peacoat and THEN you can have my money. Do NOT give me a shirt with a leaf on it that says “stay wild” or some bullshit I would much prefer clothing that broadcasts to everyone around me how many teeth an adult Jaguar has or how some pitcher plants can catch and digest rats.