Got A Queer Author Badge Of Pride Today:

Got a queer author badge of pride today:

For like five minutes this morning, I was ready to have a good cry about the fact that someone didn't like my book, until I looked at who specifically left the rating. For those who don't know, "Charles" has quite a reputation on goodreads.

Like, they doesn't even leave a review, they couldn't have read the book, it's not even out yet. (it's out this Friday! You can get your copy here) I can't even start to tell you just how much a hater this person is, it's insane how dedicated he is to hating queer books.

I would be impressed if it wasn't for the fact that it was specifically targeted hate at me and people like me.

If you know, you know.

Moss gardens in Kyoto

Today I learned that the European Pine Marten is one of the national symbols of Croatia, and appears on their 1-euro coins.

How many other counties put mustelids on their currency? NOT ENOUGH, THAT'S THE TRUTH!

how did you learn to write well?

well first you have to be a very sad child

Growing up in the 90s was fucked for this exact type of thing. I "always" knew I wanted to be a girl. I wanted that socialisation and escape from male expectations and liked being around girls better and just *wanted to be* one of them.

But I never had the language to say that. Because to say "I want to be a girl" wasn't allowed in society, and in a lot of cases, still isn't. If you say those words aloud to someone as a kid, you get shushed or thrown to a shrink or ostracized.

Back then no one in my town knew what "transgender" was, no one had even heard the word. I didn't even see it in print until I was 21, *on here, on tumblr*. And that was 2010.

There's a difference between "always knowing" and "didn't have the words"

do wish there was more trans media acknowledging that like.... when you probably didn't even grow up as a feminine boy (although in my case compared to a lot of guys I was cus i like....cook and clean and tidy up and stuff) and so the trans feelings kinda just come out of nowhere and overwhelm you and all the realising stuff is in hindsight. like in hindsight i always wanted to dress a certain way or be called a girl but i absolutely didn't know it at the time. like not everyone is that stereotype and a lot of the time you were basically a bit of a lifeless husk before realising you're trans and that makes it so difficult to navigate. like you have no aspirations, maybe 3 friends all of who suck and suddenly you're realising you wish you were a girl. semi related to how vitriolic people are about the very concept of trans girls who used 4chan and stuff. it's like... I guess a lot of people's ideas of what trans women are and were like is very different to a lot of our lived experience.

like a lot of the time, pre transition gender and personality looks like a mattress on the floor, instead of cute feminine always wanted to be a girl always played with the girls sorta thing (again, complicated in my circumstances and a lot of it was essentially not being raised as a Patriarchal asshole)