lilgayn00dle - Chaos Screamimg,chaos Dreaming
Chaos Screamimg,chaos Dreaming

She/her🇿🇦

141 posts

Ahh This Is Perfect

Ahh this is perfect <3

Hey bestie,congrats on 900 followers,you deserve every single one of them!!! Could I please get a 🎞 for dps or the marauders era?

About me:

I’m demisexual and non-binary (they/he). I quite shy and introverted (infp,4w5,ravenclaw) but I’m also really sarcastic. I love reading,writing,playing piano and just being creative in general. I have a nonexistent sleep schedule and I’m almost always down for an adventure or spontaneous trip. I’m a bit of a hopeless romantic and I adore nature. I have anxiety and adhd,so I often get sensory overload especially in really loud or crowed places. Thank you sm :D

hi bestie!! thank u sm omg, you're too sweet!! of course - i'll do them for both <33

if you were in dead poets society..

okay so i personally think you'd definitely be a part of the dead poets; even potentially filling the spot for knox's mystery roommate? or you'd room with stick - lucky you if so! out of the poets, i think you'd be closest to meeks, pitts and neil - they're relatively calm and quiet, but not too introverted - it's a nice balance. meeks and pitts would certainly bring you with them to figure out their radio. charlie would definitely have the biggest crush on you. on top of everything else, it's the sarcasm he adores - he loves how you can keep up with him and fire back at his comments and remarks just as quick. he's the type to confess through a dramatic recital of a love poem for you in the cave. if you do get together, you're in for a fun time. he's constantly sneaking into your dorm to cuddle during the night (though if you end up on the floor due to the shitty single beds, he'd take no accountability). he'd pass you so many notes, or whisper to you if he's close enough. would definitely shoot you a wink and grin in the corridors. you and knox would bond over being hopeless romantics (although you'd definitely tell him to tone it down with chris god bless <3), you and todd would bond over your love of reading/writing, and i think cam would really take an interest in the piano and your playing!! the poets are always aware of when you need to get out of a crowd; in fact, when they found out, they devised a system so you could signal to them with a hand gesture when you were uncomfortable, and at least one of them could get you out of the situation as quick as possible. keating would also adore you - i think he'd take a similar stance as he did with todd and try to bring you out of your shell a little, whilst still being conscious of your anxiety/adhd!

if you were in the marauders era;

alright alright!! again, i think you'd be close to the marauders - you give me remus energy so i think he'd be your 'ticket in' so to speak. you'd become friends with him first, maybe through an elective class you'd share, and he'd introduce you to the others and it would lead from there. sirius would one hundred percent make jokes about you doing his homework for him, since "you're a ravenclaw, you're smart!", but would never actually expect you to do it for him (unless..?). remus would be more than happy to read any of your writing or look at any other of your creative works, and would probably want to give it a go himself! your willingness for adventures comes in handy for the marauders - please be prepared to be dragged along on midnight adventures and schemes, whether it's just for innocent fun, or to prepare for a prank they're planning. sometimes they need your creativity and ideas, you're a big help to them. james will beg you to sort your sleeping schedule out, making sure you get a good amount of sleep at a semi-decent hour most nights and don't stay up overworking yourself. like the poets, in situations they know you aren't too comfortable with, they make sure they can always check up on you - peter or remus constantly shoot you a thumbs up to gage how you're feeling. if it's not good? they'll make up an excuse so you can catch a break. i think you and sirius would be a good match; you'd compliment his personality perfectly - as for getting together, i'm picturing playing the piano together, his hands get a little too close to yours, and both of you realise that maybe your feelings towards each other aren't entirely platonic. you'll figure it out, soon. but for now, you'll enjoy what you have.

i hope these were okay bestie!!! i just kind of rambled - as you can probably tell - but it was super fun to think about and write, so hopefully it was just as fun to read!!

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More Posts from Lilgayn00dle

3 years ago

i root for all of my mutuals even if we don’t talk ❗❗ i see u an hope ur doin well an hope ur achieving ur goals 👀👏💓

3 years ago

it's a special kind of tragedy when children aren't allowed childhoods.


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3 years ago

hi psa: the second someone apologizes for being excited about something, that is the moment you start talking about it with 10x the enthusiasm because 100% guaranteed they have, at some point in their life, been shamed or told shut up or calm down about something that brought them joy and learned to apologize for taking up space and expressing themselves - learned to make themselves smaller- and that’s the absolute worst feeling in the whole world so please, the moment they apologize or say “I’ll shut up now”, you start talking about it for them, hype it up, encourage them to talk your ear off and participate in their excitement. We want their passion, we want their excitement, joy and love. We do not want to be stunted and bitter and angry like the ones who tried to stifle us, we want to foster and nurture the glow in their eyes and the sound of their voice speeding up with exhilaration

3 years ago

abba releasing new music feels as if da vinci had just dropped mona lisa 2

3 years ago

i have thought a lot about censorship and what is “appropriate”. not a lot of people know this, but lolita was written to show what we allow on our bookshelves: there being no swear words in it meant it was free from censorship. a book about child molestation was allowed because it didn’t explicitly use the word “fuck”. he wrote it to show we don’t really care about protecting children, and it ended up being seen as a romance.

someone once told me - actually, many people have - that lgbt content isn’t appropriate for children. any content. not just kissing. i’m drowned in questions: “won’t the parents have to explain it?” “kids shouldn’t be thinking about sex at this age, or do you think differently?” “what will the kids think?”

at six i saw disney movies. people kiss and get married. i didn’t ask “what does that mean.” i didn’t ask “are those people going to have sex?” i didn’t ask anything, because i was six, and no six year old thinks twice about these things. nobody ever “explained” being straight to me, it was a fact, and it existed, and i was fine with that. why would being gay require a thesis, i wonder.

someone once told me that the one of the reasons people hate lgbt individuals is because they can’t see us as anything but sexual. we’re not people, so much as sinners. that they don’t see love, they see sex. just sex. it’s perversion, not a matter of the heart. only of the body.

i think i was in my early twenties before i saw someone like me. 

how old were you, though, before you saw violence? before you saw sexual assault on tv? i think something like that is only pg-13, and if it’s implied, they can get away with anything. i remember watching things and learning about blood, but knowing sex - sex was what was really wrong. sex was always rated r. sex was always kind of a bad word. i was told a lot that i wasn’t ready.

i had a dream last night that i made a site where people could ask any question they wanted about sex and get answered by a professional. it was shut down in moments because 15 year olds wanted to know if it should hurt, if “double-bagging” was a real thing, if this, if that. we shudder. don’t let the children know about that! 

but at thirteen i had seen enough violence it no longer struck me. i couldn’t say “fuck” but i knew that if you break your femur, you can bleed out internally in under half an hour. in school i wasn’t allowed to write about loving girls because what would the administration think - but i could write about wanting to kill myself and people would say how lovely, how blistering.

i have thought a lot about censorship. sometimes people on this site try it with me: don’t write this, don’t be so nasty. some of it is intrinsic. we know as people with a uterus not to complain about “that time of the month”, we know better than to talk about sexual assault (how shameful), we know that talking about a vagina is somehow scandalous. i can say “dick” and nobody questions me. some people only refer to the bottom half of me by “pussy”. they won’t wrap a mouth around “vagina” like it’s poison to them. even discussing this, that the language halts, that there’s an intrinsic desire to say “girls” instead of “women” - feels naughty, illicit. not for children.

the other day someone suggested i make my blog 18+. i said, okay, it deals a lot with depression and other problems that might be for a mature audience. oh no, they said, that’s not it, i think that’s helpful. i said, okay. so what is it then. well, you’re gay. you write about loving women. and i said, i don’t write about sex often and they said. it’s not about the sex. but wlw isn’t for a general audience. teenagers aren’t ready.

oh.

lolita is recommended for high school and up. i think about that a lot. i know girls who love it, who say it speaks to them on a deep level. it’s beautiful prose, after all. that was the whole point of the novel. something that looked like a rose but was intrinsically awful. i think about how if i was a model they’d want me to look young, thin, prepubescent. how my body would be sold and how through the mall i walk by images of barely-clothed women while mothers cannot breastfeed in public without fear of retribution. 

i think about how i can write a novel about violence and it will be pg-13 but if my characters say “fuck” twice it’s inappropriate. i said fuck three times so far in this post, which makes it only appropriate for adults. 

i think about that, and how my identity is something that people suggest lines up with a swear word. that people shouldn’t talk about it. that it’s a vulgarity. bad for children, harsh, confusing.

fuck. i love women. which one makes this only for those over eighteen.