Lisrd - Lizard. - Tumblr Blog

"I love you , I'm glad we're friends"

This is a comment someone appended to a photo of two men apparently having sex in a very fancy room, but it’s also kind of an amazing two-line poem? “His Wife has filled his house with chintz” is a really elegant and beautiful counterbalancing of h, f, and s sounds, and “chintz” is a perfect word choice here—sonically pleasing and good at evoking nouveau riche tackiness. And then “to keep it real I fuck him on the floor” collapses that whole mood with short percussive sounds—but it’s still a perfect iambic pentameter line, robust and a lovely obscene contrast with the chintz in the first line. Well done, tumblr user jjbang8

Hot take

Night furies are actually perfectly evolved for hunting and killing other dragons and the only reason they aren't a dragon-hunting species like the death song or deathgrippers are is because DreamWorks couldn't have their adorable main character dragon be a "cannibal"

(below I'm gonna try to summarize what we've figured out in a convo with friends on discord)

(also tw animal death via predator)

First of all yes I'm aware that pretty much every decision made about their design was with consideration of the effect it would make on human audiences but hear me out

Night furies are most iconically known as dive-bombers. They are built for speed, high maneuverability, night-time camouflage and for striking targets from above. If we remove human settlements out of the equation (which would not have existed long enough to actually influence night fury evolution, come on), what does that leave us with?

They aren't built for catching fish for sure, they aren't very hydrodynamic and their head is round, wide, and their teeth are dull. Honestly, the monstrous nightmare is much better suited for catching fish, with its long neck, almost pelican-like jaw and rhamphorhynchus teeth

Compare to

Yeah the jaws look kinda like a porpoise of some sort but for that the whole body would have to be a lot more aquatic imo. The light fury looks a lot closer to an aquatic diver, it has a sleeker body, rounded fins instead of spikes, and a long neck.

I don't really see them hunting land animals either, they just don't look like they're adapted for that minus the resemblance with large felines and even then, they're too large to effectively hunt in forests.

The one thing I can kinda imagine them hunting is large mainland megafauna, but we're working with a setting that takes place pretty much exclusively on islands. And overall, dragons are the only abundant species there with the exception of fish and human-bred sheep and chickens.

In general, night furies have duller teeth, smaller claws and are smaller than most dragons. Disregarding the movies making Toothless weirdly OP, a night fury would be disadvantaged against most dragons in a 1v1 fight and besides, it has four huge weak spots that would highly discourage it from a direct physical fight - the primary and secondary tail fins. One unlucky rip in the membrane and the night fury is fucked.

The night fury however noticeably resembles falcons, given their dive-bombing ability and high maneuverability.

Falcons too have smaller beaks and weaker claws compared to most birds of prey, and for that they compensate by simply picking up speed, balling up their talons and Punching. Really. Hard.

And they use that ability to kill other birds, even much larger ones, by knocking them right from the sky.

Here, the night fury's plasma blast works the same way as a falcon's punch. Dragons are fire-resistant, so what the plasma blast does is really just a densely packed bolt of energy that has the effect of either stunning or outright killing prey by damaging its spine. And what the plasma bolt doesn't do, rapid contact with the ground would finish. And if even that doesn't do it, the night fury's wide jaws and dull teeth are just fine for simply clamping around the unlucky dragon's neck and strangling it, like a lion or a pitbull.

The night-time camouflage allows the night fury to soar for extended periods of time perfectly unnoticed in the night sky, and by the time it strikes, the dragon wouldn't even know what's coming.

Unless

Say the hunting night fury is aware of other dragons sleeping under the trees, as most dragons probably would at night (village raids aside, most dragons seem to be diurnal), so how does the night fury get them in position where it can use its signature attack? Well, there's That Iconic Screech Of Death. Since in the movies it tends to appear not just during dive-bombings but also when charging up a blast, I imagine it's something the night fury is able to control to some degree. So by simply fake-diving in close proximity to sleeping dragons, it can effectively terrify them into leaving their hideout and fly out into the open where it can easily take them out.

I dunno, the possibility of night furies as predators to other dragons just makes so much sense to me, I really don't know what other reasons there would be for them to evolve these particular adaptations.

And one more little headcanon to add to this whole rant - since night furies are significantly smaller and less equipped for dragon vs dragon fights and are primarily speed-based predators, I imagine there is this very likely scenario:

There is one dragon who resembles a hyena, a lil bit

Ok, rant over

Cutest autumn/winter leaf origami by Inori

you're going about your normal day when, suddenly, surprise! you've been pokémon mystery dungeon'd!

unfortunately, due to budget cuts, the pokémon assigning quiz has been canceled. instead, you must spin THE WHEEL, assigning you a random, unevolved, non-legendary and non-mythical pokémon. you must now go on some sort of world-saving adventure as this pokémon. good luck!

tell me in the tags what you rolled, and how you feel about it - for bonus points, you can spin the wheel again for (or just take your pick of) a pokémon to be your partner.

bonus rules:

you're not shiny unless the wheel tells you you're shiny

take your pick of regional forms and evolutions (for example, if you roll vulpix, it's up to you whether that means normal or alolan vulpix)

apply whatever logic you like with regards to gender

have fun and be yourself!

Literal definition of spyware:

Also From Microsoft’s own FAQ: "Note that Recall does not perform content moderation. It will not hide information such as passwords or financial account numbers. 🤡

Lissajous curve table

i deserve to be an eel. in a crevice with a bunch of other eels. opening and closing our mouths over and over

“and the universe said…”

i cant breathe he just kept on fucking talking

teeth badge. teeth badge for yapping

something something hellsite something something birds of feather

reblog with what you want to be when you grow up (any age I MEAN IT)

wildlife or lab scientist :) or computer repair/maintenance tech

reblog with what you want to be when you grow up (any age I MEAN IT)

highllo

anyone remember the ol theàtre zip zap zop

I dont have the energy to color this in 😭

Friends and pleasantries

almost my entire teen years i had a fight with myself on whether or not i was autistic or misdiagnosed but i know i cant deny it now in my 20s thinking about south park 24/7 because if i think about it a bit too long i get so excited my heart races and i have to run and scream and jump until i exhaust myself

Light answers a tough question

link shortening

okay. let me tell you one of my pet peeves. it's when you send a link to something and the link takes up a full paragraph. amazon is especially egregious with this; as an example, i'm going to use the sweet essentials goat milk & honey perfume. here's the link i get if i just copy/paste it:

https://www.amazon.com/Goat-Honey-Fragrance-Perfume-Organic/dp/B07D5N4XRP/ref=sr_1_1?crid=368RN4BTXC5R9&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.0tHv-eu2F7iPFRQB2q9yXdLcYOv4rURViCCRfaecKCxZGmUW01KbdXZU3Q1GrGr9CUE97ZgO2tqSFilCtwDhBDwZrkPHvIwyX3KwtbHn1H2BjGo6Kv2RNKzHD4vUn6cdGQvpxat_DCpR1LJaDNrxuYElr7x_GZHixDS4r3SWdrQ67ov2O0MBOQ3F7vH9sclQyOCOsPB-xuzdAbugWTjAw7PODjXTSswWuLJG56uZkMUaJ5ob8xIEy6tpHvu21E8uYKJtnWdyGBoK5Wd5mo7S3urQt-rJX9twnr3RwS0Kk_s.kW9z0gieuOP4prMF2tSrHmrMuB8XObk-xguJ8Cub1YI&dib_tag=se&keywords=sweet+essentials+goat+milk+and+honey+perfume&qid=1726618258&sprefix=sweet+essentials+goat+milk+and+honey+perfume%2Caps%2C58&sr=8-1

do you see this shit? that link is longer than my introduction paragraph. and most of it is totally unnecessary and just gives amazon tracking data. so i'm going to quick breakdown the link:

https://www.amazon.com/ is the domain. this tells your browser to go to the internet, to amazon's address. can't do without.

Goat-Honey-Fragrance-Perfume-Organic/dp/B07D5N4XRP/ is the sort of directory. this is where the meat of the link is; it gives the browser the information of where in the amazon domain it should look for what you're looking for. sort of like when you ask a librarian where a book is and they say "it's in this area of the library, i can show you if you like"

every single thing after that is optional. most, if not all, of it is just tracking data that tells amazon who looked it up, how, where they found it, etc. etc. and you can totally safely remove it.

so, our final, shortened link is:

https://www.amazon.com/Goat-Honey-Fragrance-Perfume-Organic/dp/B07D5N4XRP/

and you can test it for yourself, both the really long link and this nice clipped link lead to the same page. this is generally applicable to most websites; if a link feels a little too long, experiment and start removing bits off the end. generally anything that shows up after "?[text]=" is probably safe to remove, as with "&[text]=". sometimes those have particular jobs, though; for example, youtube links with a particular timestamp will include "&t=[number]s" and while removing this will keep the link to the video, it will remove the timestamp. similarly, youtube sometimes uses "&v=[text]" to encode the id of a video, so without that you're left with just the youtube homepage. if a link has "?si=[text]", that's all safe to remove, because that's pure tracking data.

in short: clip your links. don't give them any more than you need to. experiment a little. have fun and be yourself. i love you