Newt Scamander Isnt Completely A Cinnamon Roll

Newt Scamander isn’t completely a cinnamon roll

Okay yes, he’s adorable and kind and has endearing quirks and takes loving care of his creatures.  You won’t hear me denying that.  But… I feel like people have been characterizing him a bit incorrectly.  Like, people see him as vulnerable and awkward and nervous, but, well… 1.  He’s badass.  He jumped into the fray and apparated along the rooftops to save Credence.  He’s every bit as brave as a Gryffindor, though he does it for different reasons.  He was the one who subdued Grindelwald (while still in pain from the Cruciatus curse) and used the Revelio charm.  And then, y’know, saved the whole wizarding world from exposure.  And when he saved Tina?  “I’ve got you?”  Of course we’re all swooning at that, and it’s not because he’s a cinnamon roll. 2.  We know he’s been hurt in the past and that he doesn’t quite understand humans, but he doesn’t really deliberately shy away from them either.  He’s perfectly content to start hanging out with Jacob, and has no problem making friends with him.  In fact, he’s the one to invite Jacob into his case. 3.  In most of the fics I’ve read, Newt is extremely shy and nervous about approaching Tina (or “y/n”).  But in canon?  He seemed pretty confident to me when he tucked her hair back.  He wasn’t stuttering like nearly every single fic shows him doing (not that there’d be anything wrong with it if he did, but he doesn’t).  Yes, he was a bit awkward, but he wasn’t really all that nervous.   4.  Another thing about fics:  They always portray him as anxious.  But this is the guy who said “My philosophy is that worrying means you suffer twice.” I’m not sure if this precludes him from being a cinnamon roll, but I thought it was worth pointing out. 5.  He’s quite good at magic.  Consider the whole world he created in his suitcase using Undetectable Extension Charms and as well as many other spells, I’m sure.  Also, Apparition isn’t simple; it requires both concentration and clear visualization of the destination.  Newt Apparated along the rooftops in pursuit of the Obscurus, and then again several times in the Subway station to get away from it while battling Grindelwald and trying to calm Credence down.  I know Apparition isn’t as hard when the destination is very close by, but still, if that’s not impressive, I don’t know what is. 6.  Do you remember that time he threw the Swooping Evil in Jacob’s face because it was funny??  Yeah.  Not so cinnamon-roll-y.  (Thanks to @misshufflpuff for reminding me of this!) 7.  He is sexy.  Oh my goodness.  Everyone talks about how cute and sweet he is but let’s be real, this man is also INCREDIBLY physically attractive.  Why don’t we talk about that more?  (If it’s because we don’t want to objectify Eddie, that’s an acceptable answer.  Still and all.) 8.  “I will protect him!”  Oh no, honey.  Newt Scamander will protect you.  (Unless you’re Tina and an Auror, in which case you’ll protect each other.)

Emergency cleaning: Unfuck your whole house in the shortest time possible

So, your landlord/parents/home inspector/favorite movie star is dropping by, and your place is a disaster. You don’t have much time to clean it up. You’re in emergency mode. Let’s get started.

Don’t panic. Panic leads to fear, fear leads to procrastination, procrastination leads to the dark side. You can do this, but you have to stay calm.

Unlike maintenance cleaning, we’re not looking to completely unfuck one space at a time. Instead, we want to decrease the overall mess in stages, spread evenly across the whole area that we’re concerned about. If you think your home is at Level 10 filth, we want to bring the whole thing down to a Level 9, and then down from there. One really clean spot in an otherwise messy home is not going to be helpful here.

Get prepared. You’ll want to shut the computer down (or turn the modem off if you need your computer to play music). Trust me. Get your music going. Gather up trash bags, your vacuum and mop, some rags or paper towel, sponges, and other cleaning supplies. Use what you have on hand. Don’t get distracted running to the store and spending an hour browsing cleaning supplies. A multi-purpose cleaning concentrate or a jug of vinegar will be just fine.

Breaks are very important. Depending on your time constraints, work in 20/10s (20 minutes working, 10-minute break) or 45/15s. But take breaks because otherwise you’re marathoning, and marathon cleaning is no one’s friend. Keep hydrated, don’t forget to eat, and check in with yourself frequently to make sure you’re physically doing OK.

Make your bed. This will be your home base if you get overwhelmed or need somewhere clear to take a break.

Start with the garbage. Going from room to room, throw out anything that is obvious trash. Once you fill a bag, take it out. Repeat as many times as necessary.

Move on to dishes. Gather the dishes from all over your house and bring them to the kitchen. If you can, start them soaking in a sink of hot, soapy water or start loading the dishwasher. After the dishes are all in one place, spend one 20/10 getting started getting them under control.

Now it’s time for your flat surfaces. Countertops, tables, dresser tops, etc. Clear them off and wipe them down. Don’t get distracted in too much sorting and organizing. We’re in crisis mode here. There will be time to get in-depth once this is all done. The same applies to cabinets and closets. Unless you have reason to believe people will be opening closed doors, leave these alone for now.

Attack the floordrobe and shoe pile. Get your clothes either put away or in the hamper. Start a load of laundry if you need to, but keep in mind that laundry and dishes have three steps: wash, dry, and put it away, goddammit!

Get random stuff up off the floors. If something is trash-worthy, throw it away now rather than just move it around a bunch of times. Otherwise, put stuff where it belongs.

Take another 20/10 or 45/15 to catch up on more dishes, if needed.

Head into the bathroom. Pour some cleaner in the toilet bowl, fill the sink with hot water and cleaner, and either spray the tub and shower with cleaner, or fill the tub up with some hot water and add cleaner and let it soak. Put everything away that’s out and shouldn’t be, clean the mirror, counters, and toilet seat. Sweep or dry mop the floor. Wipe down the sink and tub/shower, and give the toilet bowl a scrub. Mop the floor.

Sweep and mop the kitchen floor.

Vacuum everything you can, and sweep everything you can’t.

Walk outside of your house (don’t lock yourself out, please). Walk back in and see what catches your eye first. Go and deal with that.

If you’re being inspected or your landlord is coming in for repairs, spend time on whatever area they’ll be focusing on.

Give the whole place one more once-over and pay attention to anything you’ve missed so far.

It’s an old trick, but if your place is a little funky-smelling, put a pan of water on the stove on low heat and add some citrus or cinnamon or vanilla. Don’t leave it unattended or forget about it.

Take a shower, put on something clean, and eat something.

You can do this. It’s overwhelming, yes, but it is not impossible. You just need to do it. You have a list. You have directions. You have a whole bunch of Internet strangers who have been there before and who are cheering you on. You can do this, but you need to get started.

Why are you still here? GO. START. NOW.

Every episode of Smallville season 1:

Clark: *drops by the Luthor mansion* Lex, I need a favor/some advice

Lex: look at this ancient weapon owned by some vaguely famous warrior. he reminds me of you. I still don’t know how you pulled me out of the river that day we met.

Clark: uhh, golly gee, Lex, I don’t know

Lex: *long stare* Okay. We’ll always be the best of friends, Clark.

Clark: Of course, Lex.

*somewhat homoerotic starefest*

How to Escape a Hair Grab or a Neck Grab ? Look at them, carefully.

tai chi pants on http://www.icnbuys.com/tai-chi-pants give you surprise at the new year.

follow back

Headcanon that Harry won Witch Weekly’s Most Charming Smile award at some point and Ginny spent the rest of the month pretending to swoon and faint every time the corner of his mouth so much as quirked upwards 

A Scandal in Belgravia

Scenes + What’s in the Actual Script

A heart attack is nothing compared to what this is doing to me.