Things We Dont Say: Part 4 (kth)

things we don’t say: part 4 (kth)

banner credit: @itaeewon

summary: Three years after graduating college, everything seems to be falling into place for you: stable job, cozy apartment, and a long-term boyfriend with a ring box hidden in his desk drawer. But when a mutual friend makes a remark that your best friend of nearly two decades is clearly in love with you, you realize that life may not be as simple as it seems.

pairing: Taehyung x Reader (with some VERY brief Seokjin x Reader and Yoongi x Reader)

rating: 18+ (minors dni)

genres: best friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, slooooow burn, angst, fluff

word count: 11.5k

chapter warnings: swearing as usual, jin is sad and precious, alcohol consumption, one (1) instance of mild violence, suspension of disbelief as to the legal consequences of said violence, jungkook still has zero filter, feelings and bed sharing

a/n: this was a fun one >:) shout out to everyone who brainstormed, sprinted, or otherwise shouted about this fic with me and gave me the motivation to power through this (y’all know who you are, and i love each and every one of you <3)! and a massive shoutout to @jeonqkooks for the beautiful new banner!!

PREVIOUS // SERIES MASTERLIST // MASTERLIST

Read on ao3

“And Tae encouraged you to do this?”

“Yeah. Kind of made up my mind for me actually.”

You toss down a few potential dresses on Maya’s bed after spending the past several minutes raiding her closet. With the bulk of your wardrobe still at your old apartment, she’d invited you to borrow something of hers for your date with Seokjin.

You may also be sharing a couple glasses of wine to calm your nerves.

“Hm.”

“What?”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“No, but I can see you thinking.”

“It’s nothing.” She holds a sparkling gold number up to your shoulders, then frowns and throws it back down. “Or at least nothing you want to hear, anyway.”

“Don’t tell me you’re on about Tae and I again.”

She shrugs. “I think you’d be great together. Sue me.”

“I could say the same about you and Kook.”

A snort rasps from the back of her throat as she coughs on her wine. “You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.”

“The two of you are more alike than you think,” you say. “And I don’t think you give him enough credit. He’s a good guy.”

She purses her lips, watching clouds go by out the window. “He’s…frustrating.” Her eyelids drop, coming together in a slow blink as her focus turns back to you razor-sharp. “And weren’t you against us together in the first place?”

“Yeah, because it was just sex.”

“It is just sex.”

“Well, I changed my mind.” You take a sip of your drink, let the acidic taste roll around and coat your tongue before it slides down your throat. “If there’s a possibility you two can make each other happy, then you should have that. I think maybe love is rarer than it seems.”

“He and I are far from love.”

“For now,” you say. “But maybe someday?”

She only grimaces like she’s swallowed a bitter pill, giving the tiniest shake of her head before rushing to change the subject. “Tell me about this Seokjin guy.”

“Not much to tell,” you explain. “Joon knows him from the hospital. He’s been very pleasant when we’ve texted. Polite. I’m definitely not getting creep vibes from him.”

“Always a plus. But still, text me the address of the restaurant and a physical description once you’re there.” She pauses, tapping a finger against her chin. “Also, I have some condoms if you want to take a couple.”

“Um, no?”

“Why not? Best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.”

“See, that sounds like something Jungkook would say.”

“Well a dumbass clock is right twice a day, or whatever the saying is.”

“I don’t think that’s quite right.”

“Close enough in his case.” Her voice lowers suddenly—delicately—as if to share something confidential even though you’re the only two in the room. “But speaking of protection, did you hear back from the clinic?”

Maya had delicately suggested a couple weeks ago that you should probably get tested for STDs given that you don’t really know how many women Jace had been with and if they were being safe. It was a fair point, as humiliating as it was to consider that he may have found yet another way to rip apart your life, and so you’d gone for an appointment last week, trying not to cry as you provided the necessary samples.

“Negative,” you murmur, feeling embarrassed even though you know you shouldn’t be and that your friend would never judge you. But the fact that you even have to have this conversation at all gnaws at your own sense of self-doubt. “I’m clean.”

She presses her mouth into a line, an acknowledgment of the misfortune of the situation, while simultaneously tilting her chin in approval. “Good.”

You pick at a loose thread hanging off the hem of the dress you’re holding, a dog barking somewhere outside the window as you grasp for literally anything else to talk about. “So where are you guys heading tonight?”

“Who knows?” Maya says with a sigh, leaning back on the bed. “You know it’s like herding cats with them sometimes. I’m supposed to go over there after this, and we’re going to wing it then.”

“So one of our usual clubs?”

“I’d bet my left tit on it.”

You let out a soft laugh, feeling that maybe you’d rather be spending time with your friends tonight instead of going on a half-hearted date. But Seokjin seems nice, and you’ve already committed so you’re stuck. “Could you please just try to make sure Tae has some fun?” You chew at your bottom lip. “He’s been so focused on cheering me up, I want to be sure he still has time for himself.”

“Worry not. I’ll help him pick someone up,” Maya says nonchalantly.

“That’s not what I meant.”

Her entire body perks up, eager that you’ve taken the bait. “Why, does that bother you?”

“Also not what I meant,” you say, crushing down the tiny flip in your stomach at the thought of Taehyung taking someone home as Maya pouts. “I just want him to enjoy himself. I don’t think he’s been doing enough of that lately.”

“Without his other half there with him?” Maya mumbles. “Fat chance.”

You ignore it, knowing she’s baiting you yet again.

But your heart warms all the same.

Seokjin is the embodiment of a perfect gentleman.

He’s handsome—you can’t help but notice as he stands at your approach, introducing himself and coming around the table to pull out your chair for you with a slight bow. When the waiter appears to take your drink order, Seokjin (or “Jin,” as he says to call him) offers to let you pick the wine, so you go with a nice-looking pinot grigio (you haven’t even been able to look at reds since that night). Typical first date conversation flows as you browse the menu, order, and wait for your food, and you find that Jin is soft-spoken without being shy, confident without being arrogant. He tells you about his job as a physical therapist and how he likes to spend his weekends fishing with his brother on his parents’ boat. As you likewise share anecdotes about your publishing job and college shenanigans, Jin listens attentively with kind eyes, asks thoughtful questions, and chuckles at all the right bits.

He’s nice.

But there’s no spark.

You can sense it in his posture, too. His eyes are kind, but there’s pain behind them. He asks questions, but there’s an uncertainty lingering under the surface. He laughs at your jokes but subtly deflates each time like he’s guilty of something.

By the time your meals arrive, you’re ready to chalk it up as a loss.

“Jin,” you begin, tone aiming for the gentleness of “it’s not you, it’s me” proportions. “You seem like a wonderful guy, but for the sake of honesty, it doesn’t feel like either of us sees this going further, does it?”

Jin’s shoulders sag, the mask of obligatory cheerfulness falling away in defeat. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be!” you say quickly, not wanting him to feel bad when he was clearly trying his best to have a good time with you. “I think we both knew going into this that we were each coming to the table with…baggage.”

Jin nods, his eyes now tinged red as he murmurs, “It’s been tough.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Ah.” He smiles sadly. “We’ve only just met, and you’re clearly a very sweet woman. I’d feel bad dumping it all out on you when I’ve already wasted your time.”

“Maybe it would be good for both of us?” you suggest. “Obviously we’re both not feeling this from a date standpoint, but maybe what we need is just a friend who understands.”

A slow tip of his chin downwards as he considers. “I think I can do that.”

“And you’re not wasting my time, for the record. I just appreciate the company.”

Jin visibly relaxes at that, his posture easing with the pressure of the date now gone.

“So Namjoon told me you also just got out of a long-term relationship?” you ask, poking at your ravioli.

His chin dips in acknowledgment, voice rough as he states, “Aera.”

“How long were the two of you together?”

“Since high school.” He twists the fabric of his napkin in his hands. “She was my first…everything. Truly. I’ve never loved anyone or anything like her.” A stray thread absentmindedly twines around his finger, the blood darkening under the skin. “We made it all the way through college and my physical therapy schooling doing long distance. Spent the past couple years finally living together. We were happy.” The thread snaps, and he shakes his head. “At least I thought we were.”

You’d swear you can feel your heart literally ache with how forlorn he looks across the table as you gently ask, “I’m guessing she left?”

“I proposed, and she said no.” A strand of dark hair falls in front of his eyes, and he rakes a hand across his head one, two, three times in frustration. “She told me she thinks she’s missing out. That she already lost most of her youth to me, waiting to finish school, when she could’ve been enjoying herself and seeing what else is out there.” He slumps forward, leaning his forearms on the table and lacing his fingers together. “But I can’t understand. I spent just as much time with her, and I never doubted it. To me, she was always the one.”

A quiet settles at the table, the conversational white noise of your fellow diners taking over for the moment as you soak in the sudden sense of kinship with the man in front of you—both blindsided by the partners you thought you’d spend the rest of your lives with.

“I get it,” you tell him, feeling the need to give something in return after he opened his heart to a stranger. “My ex—I thought we were about to get engaged too. I was making all of these plans in my head only to find out that we definitely weren’t on the same page.”

Gentle eyes appraise your face. “He broke up with you?”

“He cheated.”

The words taste bitter as they drop from your lips.

“I’m so sorry,” Jin says, and you can tell by his tone and the look on his face that he genuinely means it.

You chew the inside of your cheek until a canine catches the soft corner of your lip and you taste blood. “I found a ring in his desk and then found him in bed with someone else two weeks later.”

“Wow, Y/N.” He bends in as if he’s going to take your hand before seeming to think better of it and sighing. “I can’t even imagine if I had…” A shake of his head like he’s trying to clear an intrusive thought. “Puts my situation into perspective. I feel awful even comparing the two.”

“Oh, please don’t,” you quickly say. “Your hurt is just as valid as mine. But I can tell that you’re a really great guy, Jin. And if Aera can’t see it, I’m sure there’s someone out there who will cherish that.” You smile to yourself, remembering a night not too long ago with tanned skin and old photographs. “That’s the advice Taehyung gave me, at least.”

“Taehyung?”

“Oh, sorry, he’s my best friend.”

There’s an agreeable hiss as Jin sucks his teeth with a nod. “Well, he sounds like a smart man.”

“He’s my favorite person in the whole world.”

“He must be pretty great, then.”

You can’t help but to nod your head eagerly, words rushing out of you. “He cares so deeply. And he’s so, so talented, but he has a tendency to underestimate himself sometimes,” you gush. “But he’s incredible at everything he does. And just…so resilient. I’ve seen him go through things that no person should ever have to endure, and he’s never let it make him resentful. He could be having the worst day of his life, and he’d still give you the shirt off his back. I admire him more than anyone I’ve ever met.”

“You’ve known each other a while then?”

“Since we were kids,” you explain. “It was lonely growing up in my house—my parents weren’t around a lot—so we’d hang out every day. He always knew how to cheer me up, how to make me smile, even by simply being there. Some days, we’d literally sit in my room doing homework silently for hours, and it just felt nice to share space with somebody else. I don’t know what I would’ve done if I didn’t have him.”

Jin watches you closely. It reminds you of Namjoon’s typical evaluative expression, and you can instantly understand why they’re friends. Heat rises to your cheeks as you realize you’ve been jabbering on, though Jin doesn’t look too bothered, asking, “And the two of you have never…?”

You sheepishly poke at your food again, red as a tomato now based on how hot your cheeks feel. “No, he doesn’t feel that way about me.”

“But you feel that way about him?”

Something strange churns low in your belly. You’re not sure why your usual denials catch on the back of your throat, but they stick there, holding your tongue hostage. It should come easily, the words, “No, just friends” a habit by now.

Why do they suddenly feel like a lie?

Thankfully, you’re saved as your phone flashes in the low light of the restaurant with an incoming call, Jimin’s face appearing on the screen.

You furrow your eyebrows at the smiling photo, Jin still watching you curiously. Jimin knows you’re on a date right now, and he’s supposed to be out clubbing with Taehyung, Maya, and Jungkook. Why would he be calling you? Could it be a case of butt dialing? Then again, maybe he’s just drunk.

Or maybe something is wrong.

Your anxiety wins out, and you make a quick apology to Jin, who kindly waves you off, before swiping to accept the call.

“What’s up? I’m on a date.”

“I know, Y/N, and I’m so sorry, but I think we need you at the apartment. Something’s happened.” Jimin’s voice is frazzled on the other end of the line, the discomfort in your stomach slipping straight to full-on nausea as your fingers tighten around the phone, skin stretching taut around your knuckles when he speaks again.

“It’s Tae.”

The club is loud, music pounding an earthquake into the walls and floors as a tangle of sweaty bodies surges around the dance floor. Jimin thinks to himself that maybe, just maybe, he's starting to get a little too old for this when the image of the writhing mob does more to set off feelings of claustrophobia than set him at ease. Still, once he and the others have made camp at a more secluded table in the back of the room, drinks in hand, he's still appreciative of the time out with his friends—even with Jungkook immediately scurrying off with a glint in his eye, target already in his sights.

"Ugh, look at him," Maya sneers, watching him chat up a blonde woman at the bar. "Shameless. Absolutely shameless."

Jimin can't resist a smirk. "Careful there, Maya, you sound jealous."

"Oh, fuck no!" she shrieks, punctuating this with a sip of her drink. "On the contrary, I hope this works out for him, and they get married and have a million babies and move far, far away. Get him out of my hair."

Both Jimin and Taehyung chuckle at that. "You do know you have the option of not sleeping with him, right?" Jimin asks.

"I take what I can get, and he's good at his craft. I'll give him that." Jimin chokes on his drink, while Taehyung only smiles, amused. "Speaking of getting, anyone catching the eye of either of you gentlemen? I'm happy to take on wing-woman duties tonight."

"No," Taehyung says, shaking his head. "I'm just here to make sure none of you do something stupid."

Maya rolls her eyes. "Translation: the love of my life is out on a date, and I'm trying not to think about it. How about you, Chim?"

"I don't know." Jimin shrugs. "Let me get a couple drinks in me and then see how I feel."

"Suit yourselves. But just remember that I offered when I ask one of you two to help a girl out." She tosses her hair over her shoulder. "Especially you, Tae. I know your heart is taken with your endless 'will-they-won't-they' thing with Y/N, but you could always sell the fake ex play better than Jimin here…Tae?"

But Taehyung is no longer paying attention, eyes now intensely locked on the crowd like a hawk zeroing in on prey. Maya follows his line of sight to a couple grinding on the edge of the dance floor, a dark-haired woman and a man with a distinct, bright green jacket—

"Oh my God, is that Jace?!"

Jimin's head snaps around, and even from a distance, there's no denying it. Jace tosses his head back, laughing at something the woman says, before he presses into her further, leaning back down to whisper something in her ear. Jimin quickly turns towards Taehyung, who sits terrifyingly still, eyes still zoned in on Jace and his date.

"Tae, I know you're angry. We all are," he begins, gripping Taehyung's forearm in an attempt to grab his attention. "But you cannot confront him. Not here, not now. Y/N is doing great—she's finally starting to move on. Don't undo that by poking the bear."

"He's right," Maya says, leaning in. "You're not going to accomplish anything here. It's loud, there's too many people—he'll just brush you off. And I know you care about her, Tae, but really? Not your battle to fight. Let it go."

Taehyung continues to sit in silence until Jace and the woman disappear into the crowd, and it's like a spell is suddenly lifted as he blinks rapidly at his friends. "No, you're right." He rubs a finger at the space between his eyes. "Y/N is a grown woman. She doesn't need me to protect her."

"See? A man of sense," Maya lilts. "Not like Mr. Don Juan over here about to stick his tongue into yet another college girl who thinks his immature ass counts as an ‘older man’." She nods her head towards the bar where the blonde woman has positioned herself closer to Jungkook, his hands now encircling her waist.

Taehyung quirks an eyebrow, teasing, "You’re not in college though."

Maya's jaw drops, and she puts a hand to her heart in feigned offense. "Wow! Someone's feisty tonight."

"Don't underestimate Tae when he's in one of his moods," Jimin laughs. "And don't overestimate Kook. I bet you twenty bucks he doesn't take her home."

"I'll take that action. He's got her wrapped around him already. Easy money." They shake on it, and the conversation devolves into trying to find someone in the crowd for Maya to shoot her shot with. However, in spite of her previous claim that she "takes what she can get," she finds an excuse to brush off every potential candidate ("Too short…too tall…too rich-looking?").

(Jimin suspects it may have something to do with the man who is now kissing the blonde at the bar.)

An hour later, and they're still parked at the table and on their third round of drinks. Jace has not resurfaced since they first spotted him, much to Jimin's relief, and he hopes he snuck out to a different club somewhere across town or maybe even a different country. Taehyung sports an easy smile now, alcohol loosening up his body as he laughs at a story Maya is telling about two guys who once had a fist-fight over her in this very club during college. Still, Jimin keeps an eye on their surroundings, likewise wary about what might happen if Jace spots them.

"And thankfully, the cops didn't wind up getting called, but oh God, can you imagine?" Maya howls, her and Taehyung in near-hysterics as she finishes up her story.

"Geez," Taehyung gasps, wiping at his eyes. "You're gonna make me piss my pants. I need the bathroom."

He stands from the table and wanders off in the direction of the restrooms, Maya staring at his back the whole way.

"We need to get that guy laid," she dramatically sighs.

"While he's still in crisis mode over Y/N’s breakup?" Jimin scoffs. "Good luck with that one."

"I don't get those two—I really don't." Maya rattles her perfectly-manicured nails against the table. "She's single for the first time in four years. He's been helplessly in love with her for so much longer. I don't know what he's waiting for."

"I mean it's only been what, a month?" Jimin muses. "He probably feels like it's too soon to make a move. Which is fair."

"Jimin. You're a man. You have eyes. Not only is Y/N pretty, but she has that whole—" She waves a hand in front of her face. "—'take me home to meet your parents’ energy to her. She won't be on the market for long, and you know it. She's already got this date with this Seokjin guy—and Tae told her to do it! It's like he's trying to sabotage himself! And then you have Y/N being smitten with him as always, too. I mentioned helping Tae find a hook-up earlier, and she looked like she was going to hurl."

He shrugs, tapping the side of his glass in thought. “I think they’re just scared. Imagine knowing someone for as long as they have and having to take that leap and risk losing it all.”

“You are out of your mind if you think either of them would reject each other,” Maya snorts.

“You don’t think Y/N might not want to take the chance that they fall apart? Especially after what she’s going through?”

“Tae wouldn’t do that to her,” she frigidly says, as if to challenge the very audacity of the thought.

“I’m not saying he would; I’m just saying she might be guarded.”

“So the solution is for him to help set her up with other guys at his own expense? That’s not fair to him either.”

He tilts his head in subtle agreement but adds, "Look, I want to see the two of them together as much as the next person. But maybe we need to just…let them come to it on their own? I mean, we've tried nudging them in the past, and it clearly hasn't worked. But I have faith they'll get there. Tae can be an idiot, but not that much of an id—"

His thought is cut off by screams and the sound of a commotion out on the dance floor. Hairs standing up on the back of his neck, Jimin bolts from his chair and darts into the crowd, Maya close on his heels. They shove their way through the surge of bodies—pressing back and away from the source of the disturbance—until they reach the spot where a small space has cleared out, and Jimin hears Maya swear loudly behind him.

Taehyung is knelt over Jace on the floor, his fists connecting with the latter's face and head over and over in a frenzy. Jace lies there, face bloodied and clearly dazed, his hands weakly raised in front of him in a futile attempt to shield himself from the blows, but Taehyung is relentless. His arm swings down on a repeated loop as if powered by a motor, and even though the music continues to pound above them, Jimin would swear he can hear the sound of knuckles cracking against flesh and bone. He rushes forward with Maya, both of them grabbing ahold of Taehyung's shoulders to pull him back, but he struggles against them, still trying desperately to connect his punches.

Jungkook suddenly materializes out of nowhere, a halfway-finished beer in his hand that he promptly empties over Jace’s head before grabbing Taehyung around the waist and dragging him back through the crowd. The three of them are able to muscle Taehyung towards the door, Jungkook breaking off to intercept the two bouncers who are stalking their way over as Jimin shoves Taehyung out onto the sidewalk.

"What the fuck, man!"

Taehyung's eyes are wild, his gray hoodie dotted with blood. "I wasn't finished," he says, deep voice chillingly calm.

"Are you out of your mind?!" Maya screams. "Are you trying to get yourself arrested?! Over that piece of shit?!”

“You said you were going to the fucking bathroom,” Jimin angrily adds. “How the hell did you wind up in a fistfight?!”

“I saw him. I hit him. I’m going to do it again,” Taehyung bluntly states. “Let me back in there.”

“The hell we are!” Maya exclaims, and Taehyung may have a few good inches on her, but she steps toe-to-toe with him to block his way. “He's not worth it, Tae, he's not!"

"She is!" Taehyung snaps, and Jimin notices his hands start to shake as the adrenaline begins to wear off. "She…you guys saw her that night. You saw her. In all this time, I have never seen her that broken. Never." His voice cracks, and a sheen appears behind his eyes, tears threatening to spill. "So get out of my way because I am going to make that motherfucker feel every tear I've had to wipe from her face because of him!"

"You're not." The door of the club swings shut as Jungkook joins them outside. "We're leaving now."

Taehyung takes a step forward, pleading, "Jungkook, I—"

"No, Tae, you're done." Jungkook moves to grab his arm, but Taehyung recognizes defeat and shakes him off, pulling his hood over his head and tramping off in the direction of their apartment. The others follow behind, close enough to keep a watchful eye out but with enough distance to give him space to cool down.

"How did it go inside?" Jimin asks quietly.

Jungkook pushes a hand through his hair. “We lucked out. I've worked with those guys before, and we're friendly. Gave them a quick rundown of the situation, and they're going to try and contain it, but…you know…" He shrugs. "That was technically assault."

"What that was was idiotic," Maya hisses.

"It was awesome."

"Kook!"

"What?! It was. Would've thought about taking care of it myself if Tae hadn't beaten me to it. Guy deserved it."

"At the cost of possible jail?" Jimin chimes in. "We all hate the guy, but I don't think it's doing Y/N a favor if she has to bail us out of—" He slaps a hand to his forehead. "Oh, fuck, Y/N."

The other two look at him in question, and he hesitates. "Do we…do we tell her?" he asks slowly. "She's on that date. What if it's going well?"

The three of them fall into silence, looking uneasily at Taehyung's back. He walks with his hands in his pockets, shoulders hunched and heels digging into the sidewalk. Jimin watches as he takes a kick at an empty can, sending it flying into the gutter.

"It's Tae," Maya murmurs suddenly from his left. "She'd want to know."

"Shit, yeah." Jimin presses the heels of his hands into his eyes, trying to rub away the headache that is quickly developing. "I'll call her—see if she can meet us back at the apartment."

"I'm going to call Hobi too," Jungkook says, phone already out. "I've punched someone before and can guarantee—his hand is fucked up."

Jimin nods, slowing his steps so he can fall behind the others for a bit of privacy. He doesn't know how the night spiraled so out of control, but he can't shake the existential feeling that something in the cosmos has changed.

Sliding his phone out of his pocket, he takes a deep breath of the night air and dials your number.

Your hands shake as you fumble with your keys outside the guys' apartment, struggling to grasp the spare that Taehyung lent you when you decided to stay with them. Jimin had said to take your time if you had to, but the thought of something being wrong with Taehyung had you in a panic. He hadn’t given you any details either, saying that they’d explain it all once you were there.

Jin had hurried you out at the distressed look on your face after you hung up, telling you that he’d take care of dinner and to go take care of your friend (you’ll later try to have Namjoon pass along some money for your meal that Jin will steadfastly refuse). Not wanting to stand and wait for an Uber, you had half-run the twelve blocks from the restaurant instead.

Out of breath, you gasp out a, "What happened?!" when Jungkook opens the door at the sound of your scrambling, not even giving him a chance to answer before you're pushing past him inside.

Taehyung sits on the edge of the couch with Hoseok kneeling in front of him, first aid kit at his feet. From here, you can see that his right hand is littered with cuts, purple bruises already forming across his swollen knuckles even as Hoseok tends to the wounds. Taehyung doesn't look up when you walk in, his eyes hooded and fixed on his hand.

"What the fuck happened?!" You repeat, but the room is quiet for a moment more as Jungkook, Jimin, and Maya all look at each other as if they don't know what to say.

Jimin breaks first. "We, ah…" he begins from his armchair seat. "We ran into your ex."

Your heart drops into your stomach, and you immediately feel dizzy. Images of Jace flood your mind: his smile, his hands, his voice—him tangled up in your bed when you got back from the beach house.

"He was at the club," Jimin continues. "And Tae…he, um—"

"He kicked his ass!" Jungkook chirps, an unmistakable hint of delight in his voice.

A tornado of feelings rips through your insides, a blend of confusion and anxiety that has you momentarily reeling. You'd be lying if you said you didn't have any residual feelings for Jace, the tiniest part of your brain in a worry over the state he might be in right now. But it all melts away when you look down at the man who still won't meet your eyes, his purpling hand making your heart twist even harder.

"Are you okay?" you ask softly, and Taehyung finally lifts his head to look at you. His gaze is stoic, but there's a haze of emotion behind his eyes that you can't place.

"I'm fine," he says, but his voice is tight and gravelly.

Hoseok tuts, dabbing a spot of ointment across Taehyung's knuckles. "Let's hope you stay that way. I don't think you'll need any stitches, and nothing seems to be broken, but we'll have to keep an eye on this to make sure nothing gets infected." He pulls bandages out of the first aid kit and begins wrapping Taehyung's hand.

You're afraid to ask this next question, but the words fall out anyway. "Did the police come?"

Jimin shakes his head. "We got out of there quick, and Kook talked to the bouncers that were friends of his—" Jungkook gives a two-finger salute from his perch by the kitchen. "—they said they'd try to take care of it, but who knows." He pauses before asking, "Do you think Jace would press charges?"

"I don't know," you answer honestly. You've known Jace to be proud, but you're not sure if that means he'll brush this off as a simple scrap or want to save face in some way.

"If he does, I know a lawyer who might be able to help," Maya pipes up at the opposite end of the couch. "He's a…friend. Owes me a favor."

"A lawyer friend?" Jungkook asks, eyes narrowing. "Do we know him? What's his name?"

"Last name: Out. First name: Butt."

Jungkook scoffs at that, but you also hear him mutter under his breath, "He sounds like a butt."

"Well as much as I would like to stay and chat about fights and butts," Hoseok says, bandaging the last of Tae's hand and closing his kit, "Sunny and I have a meeting with the wedding coordinator in the morning so I’ve gotta go. Keep that clean, and text me immediately if anything looks or feels wrong or if the swelling doesn’t go down. I can swing by in a couple days to look at it again."

Taehyung nods silently, and Hoseok heads for the door, waving as Jungkook shouts, "Thanks, doc!"

An awkward silence sweeps the room as the door swings shut, the only sound being that of Jimin anxiously tapping his heels against the floor. Maya reads the room, looking around at each person and eventually settling on you and Taehyung. Your posture is tense as you stiffly hover by the side of the couch, shifting your feet, while Taehyung is back to avoiding eye contact.

"I think I'm going to head out too," she says, standing up and shooting Jimin a pointed look.

"Do you need a ride home?" Jungkook asks. His tone says that he's trying to be nonchalant, but his eyes betray his eagerness.

"I'm a big girl, Kook," Maya drawls. "I can get myself home."

"Would you let lawyer friend drive you home?"

She rolls her eyes dramatically, her whole head tilting back in exasperation. "Oh my God, you're insufferable. Fine."

Jungkook moves for his keys, a certain spring in his step, while Maya addresses the rest of you. "I'll stop by tomorrow. Please, please try to stay out of trouble until then. Looking at you, Tae." And then she and Jungkook exit the apartment, Maya slipping money into Jimin’s hand as she goes.

Jimin lets out a heavy sigh. "Well he's not coming home tonight." He stands and stretches his arms above his head. "I'm gonna turn in. Let me know if either of you needs something, yeah?" He shuffles away to his bedroom, leaving you and Taehyung alone.

Taehyung continues to sit still as a statue, staring at the wall, and so you take a careful seat next to him, slowly so as to not jostle the cushions too much. When he keeps his eyes straight ahead, you gently take his injured hand between both of yours. His body visibly softens as you graze your fingers back and forth across his palm.

"Tae…"

He looks at you then, and you take the time to examine his face. There's no guilt or shame in his expression, but you see a pain there that has you reaching up to rub at the creases between his eyes.

His eyelids droop down at your touch. “I’m sorry about your date.”

“It’s fine,” you say. “It wasn’t going that well anyway.”

You see a muscle jump in his jaw, concern tightening the corners of his mouth. “Did he do something?”

“Easy.” You resume your tracing of his palm. “He was very kind and respectful, and we had an oddly sweet conversation. Just realized that neither of us is in the proper mindset for it to be anything more than maybe a friendship.”

A hum comes from deep in his throat. “Alright.”

“Certainly no need for you to fight any other men on my behalf,” you say, and he shoots you an uneasy look before staring down your reflections in the dark of the TV screen.

You take it in with him, observing the shadowy duplicates who feel like they’re sitting across from you. The linked arms, the soothing press of your knee to his—your current situation may feel anxiety-inducing, but the figures mirrored in the screen look comfortable. Unified.

"Are you mad?" he whispers after a moment.

The question catches you off guard. "Why would I be?"

"I know you still care about him." Taehyung swallows, glancing down at your intertwined hands. "You wouldn't still be this upset over him if you didn't."

You let his words sink in, not altogether untrue but certainly not at the forefront of your mind right now. "I'm not worried about him—I'm worried about you." Taehyung's eyes flash at that with something akin to confusion, and you chew at your lower lip. "I've never seen you like this."

It's true. Taehyung, in spite of his mild nature, has always had a protective streak in him. One time, when the two of you were twelve, a few boys in your class had spent a week bullying you about your clothes—calling you a “spoiled, pretentious bitch”—only to come back from gym class one day to find their shirts in the garbage, cut to bits. But never—in all of your years together—have you ever known him to get violent.

"I tried to let it go. I did," Taehyung insists. He picks at his bandages, and you cover his hand with your own to still him. "I just…" His voice cracks, eyes suddenly glassy. "I couldn't stop seeing you on the bathroom floor that night."

The tears spill over, and you pull him into you, his arms wrapping around your waist as he gasps into your shoulder. He's trying to force the emotion down—you can feel it in the way his body trembles—and so you tangle your fingers in the spot where his hairline meets the back of his neck. You know it's always been a soothing spot for him, and his breathing slowly evens out as you coast your fingers back and forth, a rogue piece of your brain taking pleasure in the feel of his soft hair under your hands.

"Tae," you whisper again once he's calmed, and he pulls back to look at you, face entirely too close. Your heart stutters at the sheer amount of raw affection in his expression, and the words you were about to say catch in your throat along with your breath. Since when does being around him make you so nervous?

"I'm sorry," Taehyung murmurs, entirely oblivious to your current internal struggle. "I know this isn't about me—"

"No," you quickly say, snapping out of your inner turmoil. "Tae, you're allowed to have feelings, you know?" Your fingers absentmindedly run along his neck again. "And like you told me that night, I will be fine. I will be. It just…takes a bit of time. And I appreciate everything you've done to try and help get me there."

You try to convey just how much you mean this in your tone, lacing your words with every bit of gratitude you've built up over the past month (over the past years). Taehyung seems to understand, his thumb coming up to gently brush against your chin.

A glimpse of white bandages turns you sullen, raising your hands to delicately graze against their soft edges and chart the way they wrap around his knuckles. He winces as you touch them, and frustration crests like a wave in your chest; you hate that he’s hurting, hate that your own troubles are the cause of it.

“You didn’t have to do this for me,” you sigh, dripping with guilt.

“I’d do anything for you.”

His words are firm, and he cants forward as he says them until his forehead rests against yours, a single shared breath haunting the space between your lips.

"I just don't ever want to see you like that again," he whispers.

And it's all too much: your pulse spikes, the blood pounding through your veins at his nearness and the honey-sweet words rolling off his tongue. This time, you're the one who can't look him in the eye as you put some distance between your bodies, abruptly shifting away from him on the couch.

"You won't."

The tension settles in thick, and Taehyung gazes at you, undoubtedly perplexed by your sudden withdrawal. Just as he opens his mouth to say something, you nod at his hand. "You had an eventful day. I'm fine out here if you want to sleep?"

He slowly shakes his head. "No, uh…I don't think I'll be able to sleep. Might just stay up and watch some TV. You can take my bed, though, if you're tired."

The charged atmosphere still has you slightly shaken—your scrambled brain trying to make sense of the tingling in your stomach—but concern for Taehyung ultimately wins out, and you tell him that you'll stay up to keep him company. He doesn't argue with that, simply flips on your favorite cooking channel and drags your legs into his lap as you stretch out.

It's how Jungkook finds you as he slinks back in the next morning, smiling to himself as he drapes a blanket over your sleeping forms.

July is beginning its descent into August, stifling clouds of heat stuffing themselves into roads and alleyways, when your sign to move back into your own apartment comes in the form of Jeon Jungkook almost getting a full look at your bare ass one Saturday morning.

He immediately flips his back to you, frantically covering his face with his arms and bellowing, "I'M NOT LOOKING!" at the top of his lungs.

"Jeon, you'd better keep your eyes covered or I swear to God I'll put your nuts in a vise!"

"Is that like a kink thi—"

"Do NOT." You rush to dress yourself, giving him the signal when it's safe to turn around.

He doesn't look the least bit ashamed, the bastard.

"Not that it's necessarily unwelcome, but why were you almost naked in my living room?"

You glare at him. "Jimin is taking one of his long ass showers."

"And Tae's at work. Just use his room."

You'd thought about it, but the idea of getting naked in your best friend's bedroom had made you blush, like you'd be crossing some sort of line.

"I thought I could change fast enough," you say, not wanting to have to explain your reasoning to Jungkook of all people.

"Well you obviously thought wrong." He smirks, and you already know what's coming. "Nice bra, by the way."

You pick up a throw pillow off the couch and fling it at him. You'd been shooting for his head, wanting to smack the smug grin right off his face, but your aim is about two feet off and he catches it effortlessly anyway.

What an ass.

“No wonder Maya is always pissed at you,” you jab. “Constantly flirting with other girls.”

His demeanor shifts ever so slightly—his shoulders lower, and you can tell by the way his cockiness subtly but immediately deflates that you’ve wounded him. A pang of regret for your words hits at the sight of wide doe eyes.

“She talks about me to you?”

You wouldn’t have believed it to be possible, but you don’t think that you’ve ever seen him look so innocent, tentative hopefulness coloring his face.

“Not, like, regularly, but sometimes, sure,” you say, not quite certain how to handle this new edition of Jungkook.

“What does she say?”

Wow, those big, round Bambi eyes are really doing work.

“Just that, you know.” You scratch at your ear, not wanting to accidentally throw Maya under any buses while also honoring your friendship with Jungkook. “You’re kind of annoying sometimes.”

That clearly doesn’t make him happy, his jaw tightening with discontent as he grimaces. “Right.”

“I mean think about it, Kook,” you say, compelled to defend Maya. “You hook up with her, and then flirt and pick up other girls right in front of her face.”

“We’re not exclusive!” he exclaims.

“Maybe she wants to be?”

“But that was her idea!”

That stops you. Not once since you found out the two of them were hooking up did it cross your mind that Jungkook would ever be the one unhappy with their arrangement. He’s never had a serious girlfriend in the entire time you’ve known him. Up until this moment, you were sure he’d be a perpetual bachelor. “What?”

“She wanted to be non-exclusive.”

“And you…don’t?”

He looks away from you, crossing his arms over his chest. “I don’t know.”

No. It can’t be.

“Wait a second.”

You move to stand in front of him, taking his face in your hands so you can turn him every which way, inspecting his face. Pink cheeks, a creased brow, jawline so hard you could probably cut yourself on it.

“You’re flustered!” you shriek. Jungkook quickly uncrosses his arms to bat your hands away, reeling back to put some distance between the two of you.

“I’m not!”

“You are!” you shout, following him as he roams around the room. “Jeon Jungkook is flustered!”

“Bah, you’re insane, woman.” He swings a dismissive hand even as the two of you settle in at the kitchen island.

“You’d be cute together!”

“She’s too stubborn.”

“I can totally see it!”

“It would never work.”

“You don’t know that!”

“Hey, worry about your own love life.”

He means it to be teasing, obviously not thinking too hard about his words because the second he realizes what he’s just said, he pales. “Y/N, I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright,” you say, sobered. “I know you didn’t mean anything by it.”

“Still—“

“You’re right. I’m avoiding things.” You peer over at the pull-out couch, still in bed-mode with your blankets and pillows messily strewn across it. Your suitcase, meanwhile, sits off to the side with the contents tangled and half-overflowing.

In short, you’re a mess.

The guys have never made you feel unwelcome, have only ever made it clear that you are free to stay as long as you’d like, but you’d be lying if you said you haven’t felt your time here beginning to weigh on your shoulders, knowing you’re only putting off the inevitable.

You feel like you’ve been (slowly, but surely) making emotional progress, but going back to the apartment might threaten to undo all of that. Although it may have felt like it at times growing up, you’ve technically never lived alone, and you’ve grown accustomed to having your people around. In fact, you thrive on it. Being around your friends is the only reason why you’ve been doing as well as you have.

You love having someone to come home to.

“I need to move back soon,” you tell Jungkook. “But returning to the apartment is actually terrifying.”

He considers you for a moment, leaning his weight back on the granite countertop. “Do you know what helps me when I’m not confident about something?”

“Getting a stranger to moan your name?”

“Well, yes, but aside from that.” You shrug, and he grins. “I just do it.”

“Wow, Jeon,” you say, with the appropriate amount of eye roll. “Reaching real deep on that one.”

“I mean it!” he urges. “Just need to rip off the band-aid. The longer you dwell on it, the harder it will be in the end.”

That’s…oddly decent advice.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but you might have a point,” you say, somewhat thrown off by this flustered, good-advice-giving version of your friend.

“And speaking of things being harder, that last bit of advice also goes for forepl—“

“Aaaaaaand it’s ruined.”

“I’m just saying it has multiple applications!”

“Yeah, it’s time for me to move back out,” you say. “I can’t live with you anymore.”

Jungkook chuckles, rubbing at his jaw. “Tae is going to be devastated though.”

Your head jerks around. “What? Why?”

“Because he likes having you here,” he says, looking at you like you just asked him what color the sky is. “The guy punched out your ex for you. I think it’s safe to say he enjoys having you around.”

You wince at the mention of the club, a nerve jumping in your chest every time you’re reminded that Taehyung almost got arrested defending your honor. Nothing had ever come of the fight, so you’re assuming Jace has chosen to just let it go, and for that, you’re thankful. You never would have been able to live with it if Taehyung had suffered serious consequences over your own personal crisis.

You’d do the same thing for him, sure. But that’s different.

“Jimin and I will miss you too, of course,” Jungkook continues. “And I’m still kind of sad I didn’t get my own shot in on that asshole that night. Dumped a beer on him though.” He smiles at you like he’d be wagging his tail if he had one.

“My hero.”

“Yeah, the mayor said I’m getting a medal.”

“Oh, really? When’s the ceremony.”

“Sunday afternoon.”

You snap your fingers. “Ah, I can’t make it. I have a thing.”

“A thing?”

“Yeah, a super important thing. Way more important than your thing.”

“You’re a heart-breaker, Y/N. My ego will never recover.” He grins again, playfully rapping his fingers against the counter as he stands to grab a drink.

“Yep,” he says, voice muffled on the other side of the fridge door. “Definitely going to miss you around here.”

As Jungkook predicted, Taehyung frowns when he gets home from work and you tell him about your plans to move back into your apartment at the end of the week, perhaps sensing your apprehension about returning to the scene of the crime. He insists he’ll come with you and sleep over the first night for support and to make sure you’re okay being back there.

“Whatever you need,” he says. “You’re not going to face it alone.”

Your apartment is pitch black when you swing the door open, the quietness hovering in the air making you feel like you're suffocating. You flick on the light, and you're struck by how much emptier the space is. Jace definitely came by at some point as all of his things are no longer present: his gaming system, his turntable, the tiny rhino statue he had picked out on your last vacation together. Out of the corner of your eye, you spot a glint of a key on the kitchen counter.

Taehyung tries to give you space by busying himself—turning on lights and opening cabinets in a seeming attempt to take inventory of what Jace left behind. He steals glances at you every now and then as you slowly move through the living room, hands reaching out to lightly brush at the furniture with no real goal in mind. This is supposed to be your home, but you feel like a stranger—the ghosts of late nights binging TV shows, giggling wildly at inside jokes, promising forever lurk around every corner.

When you take a hesitant step inside the bedroom, your breath catches in your throat and you choke on a sob. The bedsheets are still in a tangle, a relic of that night seven weeks ago when your whole world fell apart.

Taehyung senses something is wrong and bolts to your side in an instant, hands steadying you where you slump against the doorframe. He turns you in his arms, and his fingers come up to cradle your face in his direction.

"Don't look at that, look at me," he murmurs, thumbs rubbing away the tears that have begun to fall. "What do you need?"

To run, to hide, to crawl into the deepest hole you can find and scream your lungs out until the pain subsides. But you can't. Instead you focus on the brown of Taehyung's eyes, let it ease you back down until your breathing steadies and your heart rate levels.

"A shower," you finally choke out. "I need a shower."

He takes a final swipe at your tear-stained cheeks and offers up a small smile. "Okay. Where are the towels?"

You nod in the direction of the closet as Taehyung ushers you out towards the bathroom. It feels empty in here too, the single toothbrush staring you down from its holder and counter notably absent of shaving cream and hair gel. You tear your eyes away from the vanity to start the water running, and Taehyung pops up a moment later with a towel in hand and a fresh pair of pajamas he must've found in your dresser.

"Take your time," he says. "And if you need anything, anything at all, just give a shout. I'll be right out here." His cheeks take on a hint of pink when you quirk an eyebrow at him. "I'll close my eyes. Promise."

You thank him as he steps out so you can strip and get into the tub. The water is set to a near-scalding temperature and you welcome the sting, scrubbing away at your skin as if trying to erase all of the memories that are once again flooding back.

Your first date at the art museum, where he pointed to a painting of an extravagant rose garden and said it reminded him of you.

Your first kiss under the stars, the two of you losing track of time as he pulled you in again and again.

Endless Saturdays wandering around the city, not caring where you wound up as long as his hand was in yours.

Planning your someday wedding, his whispered promises of, Soon, beautiful, soon, sealed with a signature wink.

Picking out names for children who would never be born.

The tears are pouring out of you now, but you let them. One cry, you promise yourself. One final, good cry to wash it all away, and then it'll be time to let go for good.

You don't know how long you spend in the shower, but by the time you step back out into the living room, Taehyung has already set himself up with a makeshift bed on the couch. He lifts his head when he sees you and, taking note of your red-rimmed eyes, gets up to pull you into a hug.

For a moment he just holds you, arms banding tight around your shoulders before he says, "I cleaned out your fridge. Most of it was spoiled." He hesitates, pulling back to look at you. "And I changed the bedsheets." A hand rubs at the back of his neck. "I actually ran downstairs and threw them straight in the dumpster, I hope that's okay."

His thoughtfulness overwhelms you, and you'd probably start crying again if not for the fact that you don't think you have a single tear left in your body. As you gape at him, Taehyung interprets your silence for disapproval and quickly adds, "I'll buy you new ones."

You respond by wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him back into you, sinking your face into the crook of his neck as you whisper a, "Thank you."

He seems to falter for a second before returning the hug, and as you give him one last squeeze he steps back, scrutinizing you more closely. "You look like you could use some sleep."

"Yeah," you admit, eyeing the cramped set-up on the couch. "Is that going to be okay for you though?"

"Absolutely," he chimes, bounding over to the couch to settle back in. He has to bend his long legs to fit, toes pressing into the fabric of the arm. "See? Comfy." When he catches the uneasy look on your face, he says, "Honestly. Y/N. Nowhere else I'd rather be."

You give him a hesitant nod—you know it'd be useless to try to convince him otherwise. "Okay. Goodnight."

"Goodnight!" He flips onto his back, popping an arm behind his head and closing his eyes.

You cross the room slowly and, just like last time, find yourself pausing at the threshold of your bedroom. The bed is no longer a mess, fresh sheets now stretched neatly across the mattress, but as you look at it, it strikes you that you have never slept here alone. And while you may have committed yourself to moving on from this moment forward, you know this has the power to break you. Tomorrow, maybe, but right now, you're nowhere near ready for this.

You look back and forth between your bed and where Taehyung is lying, his legs now half-draped over the couch's arm, and you make up your mind.

"Tae?"

"Hmm?" He opens his eyes and turns his head to look at you.

"Can you sleep in here with me?"

He blinks, jaw dropping in surprise. "Uhh…are you sure?"

His hesitancy has you losing some of your nerve, and you have to look away. "I just don't think I can…" You purse your lips and shake your head. "You don't have to. I just—"

"No, it's okay. We can—yeah," he blurts, already standing up.

He sidesteps you in the doorway, taking your hand and pulling you into the room after him with a soft smile. "C'mon. Like I said, whatever you need."

Taehyung pulls back the covers so the two of you can crawl in. It's awkward at first, both of your bodies lying stiff across from each other. Physical affection has never been altogether uncommon for the two of you, but this—lying in the bed you used to share with your ex—feels like crossing a line of intimacy that you've never experienced with him before.

But then Taehyung laughs, reaching over to take your hand in his. "I know we’re a long way from high school, but we can do this, yeah? Not like we haven’t shared a bed before."

It breaks the tension, and you giggle back, looking down at where he's laced your fingers together. His knuckles are still lightly bruised with touches of yellow and green, and you run your free hand over the marks, smile drooping.

"I'm really sorry about this," you murmur.

"I'm not." Taehyung's forehead creases. "I'd do it again."

"Please don't," you say quickly. "If you see him again, just let it go."

He frowns and opens his mouth to respond, but you cut in. "Not because I care about him. I just don't want you getting into any trouble on his account. He's not worth it."

Taehyung briefly clenches his jaw but eventually gives you a slow nod. "Well I think my point was made anyway."

"Thank you," you say, pulling his hand up to brush a light kiss to his bruises. "I know I keep saying that, but I really can't tell you enough."

"You don't need to thank me. I know you'd do the same." His face breaks out into one of his boxy smiles. "Remember when Luna broke up with me, and I barely left the apartment for two weeks? You stopped by every day to make sure I was still eating."

You hum at the memory. It had been two weeks of dropping off take-out and commandeering the boys' kitchen to make large batch meals, even harassing Jimin to give you regular updates on whether or not Taehyung had eaten lunch. Jace had given you grief about it at the time, whining that Taehyung was a grown man who could take care of himself, especially when the two of you had just moved in and were still working on unpacking.

“And my birthday junior year of high school.” He’s quiet as he remembers, eyes fixed on some spot over your shoulder as if he’s rewatching the moments on film. “You got me those shoes I’d been absolutely enamored with.”

His old ones had been falling apart entirely, soles curling away from the fabric like orange peels in the sun. Barely even looking away from the bottle at that point, there was virtually no chance that Taehyung’s father would give him enough money to buy him new ones at the thrift store, let alone the high-end sneakers you’d always catch him subtly staring at every time the two of you wandered around the mall after school.

So of course, you’d done the only logical thing and surprised him with them for his birthday, the look of complete elation on his face making your heart leap in ways you didn’t even know it could.

A touch of joy slips into his expression too now as he picks another recollection out of his brain. "Or that time in college when I got stuck in that bathroom across campus with no toilet paper and you left class to break into the men's room and bring me some."

You scrunch your nose at that, saying, "We swore never to talk about that again!"

Taehyung laughs. "I know, but what I'm trying to say is that that's what we do. We take care of each other."

The truth of the statement hits you like a truck as you're suddenly anchoring yourself in Taehyung's eyes again.

It's as though every moment of the last seventeen years comes rushing back to you all at once—every joy, every celebration, every tear, every heartbreak. And at your side in each memory are the same brown eyes you're staring into right now.

A feeling that you're too scared to place stirs in your chest and has you panicking, and you can see that Taehyung isn't unaffected by the moment either as his lips part and he studies you with a newfound softness. When he reaches up to brush your hair behind your ear, the feeling in your chest swells and snaps, and you bury your face in his chest, tears starting afresh, as he wraps his arms around you.

"I'm here," he whispers. "I'm right here."

You press your hands into his back, clinging to him, and hope the pressure conveys what your words can't—what you don't even have a name for yet.

Your sobs subside after a while, but you stay wrapped up in each other. Right before you fall asleep, one final flashback of Jace leaks into your mind—words he had spit at you before leaving this place that night.

I've never been your priority. No one can be. Not when he's around.

It's hard work dragging yourself awake the next morning, your eyelids heavy and begging you to close them for just five more minutes.

But you realize that the side of the bed next to you is not only empty—it's cold. Reaching out to your nightstand, you flip your phone over to check the time. 10:42. The morning is practically gone.

You pull yourself out of bed and shuffle into the living room where you spot a figure standing in the kitchen. Taehyung is busy at the stove, white t-shirt tight across his shoulders as he works, humming to himself, and you stop for a moment to take him in (was he always this broad?).

"Good mood today?" you say. He turns, flashing you a smile over his shoulder.

"Morning, sleepyhead!" He catches himself, realizing he might sound a little too chipper for the occasion and quietly asks, "How are you feeling?"

"Alright," you shrug, and it's the truth. The seemingly endless crying the night before had been exhausting, but it also provided you with something of a catharsis, leaving you feeling almost refreshed today.

"Good," Taehyung says. He nods to the plate on the counter next to him. "I made pancakes."

"The chocolate chip ones?"

He places a hand over his heart and looks at you in mock offense. “Of course. What do you take me for?”

You laugh and wander over to the dining room table where a bright bouquet of lilies now sits in a vase. Pinching one of the delicate, silky petals between your fingers, you ask, "What's this?"

Taehyung glances over his shoulder again, blushing slightly when he sees what you're looking at. "Oh, I um—" He fumbles for his words. "I ran out to get you some groceries and saw the florist next door. Figured they could, you know, brighten things up in here a little."

"You didn't have to do that," you tell him softly, but he brushes you off with a shrug.

"I wanted to."

You reach for the petals again, the bright orange seeming to cast a glow on your skin like a sunset. “You know these look like—“

“The ones you used to collect on our walks growing up?” He chuckles at your stunned silence. “Yeah, I know.”

It still surprises you sometimes—the depth of his thoughtfulness and how well he knows you—and before you can stop yourself, you’re stepping up behind him at the stove. You wind your arms around his middle, pressing your forehead to the space between his shoulder blades and allowing your breath to warm the cotton of his t-shirt. It’s soft—intimate—and you feel Taehyung tighten up under your touch, his entire body going rigid.

“Y/N—“

“You know you mean the world to me, right?”

It’s a near-whisper—you sound like you’re on the brink of tears—and maybe that’s why Taehyung’s hard lines soften at the sound of your voice, turning in your arms so he can reciprocate the embrace and press a cheek to your temple. He doesn’t say a word, just holds you tight as you lean your face into his chest and inhale the comforting scent of pancake batter, laundry detergent, and honey-scented soap.

You think you could stay here forever.

Last night’s mood seems to linger in the air like little beams of light that warm your skin in the best way. You recall falling asleep in these same arms, this same scent wrapped around you—how it was easily the best sleep you’ve had in weeks.

It's different, this space between you now. Has been since the night in the bathroom. You and Taehyung may have gone through a metric fuck ton of pain over the course of your lives, but there's no denying that this breakup is pushing your friendship into a new form, molding it into a new shape.

You're too nervous to dwell on it, but damn, if you aren't going to take advantage of how good it feels to cling to him right now. You want to wrap yourself around him like a koala—draw your legs around his waist and bury your nose into the hollow space at his collarbone.

What a great way to scare him off too, your brain says, even as your heart argues, He's stuck with you through worse.

You're tempted—seriously considering dragging him over to the couch so you can snuggle him properly—when the fire alarm goes off, the pancake on the stove burnt and blackened.

Taehyung releases you in a flash, spinning to shut off the burner and pull the pan off the stove as you rush to the hallway closet for a broom. You swing it underneath the alarm until the smoke clears, and the device stops its blaring shrieks. As silence filters back in, Taehyung tips the burnt pancake into the trash, the previous moment ruined.

"That'd be our luck to burn this place down your first day back," he jokes.

You tip your head up, already thinking this may have been a bad idea and wishing you were back at the guys' place. "Maybe not the worst thing in the world."

He approaches you slowly but deliberately, raising a long finger to press at your chin until you've lowered your gaze enough to look him in the eyes. Taking your hands in his—gently, so gently—he says, "We're going to breathe life back into this place. I'll be here every day if you want me to be."

"You d—"

"I will. Or Maya or Jimin or Kook." He moves his head so you're forced to look at him even as you try to look away, confronted with the raw sincerity in his eyes. "We'll drown out the bad memories with new good ones."

His voice is CPR, pressing warmth into your chest, and just like that, the suffocating walls around you open up a bit. You can see it, the two of you sitting on the couch watching TV—or maybe you watching him play one of his games—your other friends occasionally dipping in and out as they please.

More orange lilies on the table.

You pull your hands from his and drift to the kitchen counter, picking up the glinting silver key sitting on its surface. Turning back to Taehyung, you press it into his palm, and he stares at you, eyes wide with wonder.

"You're sure?"

You nod, and he curls his fingers around the key like it's something delicate—handling it with the same care you once saw him give a baby bird that had fallen out of its nest in the park when you were thirteen.

"Every day," he promises, pinky wrapping around yours and squeezing. "Just say the word."

a/n: likes, reblogs, and feedback are always appreciated! <3

taglist is open!

Do not blame me for who I am. The doctor prescribed me 20 mL of #seokjin angst twice a day.

Hideaway (M)

Rating: 18+ / Explicit / Mature

Chapters

01: Heavy is the Head that Wears the Crown (9.2k words) | read on ao3 02: How Sharper Than a Serpent’s Tooth It Is to Have a Thankless Child (13.3k words) | read on ao3 03: Love Sought is Good, but Given Unsought, is Better (17.6k words) | read on ao3 04: I Will Live in Thy Heart, Die in Thy Lap, and Be Buried in Thine Eyes (14.2k words) | read on ao3 05: And This Our Life Finds Tongues in Trees (11k words) | read on ao3 Total Word Count: ~65k

Drabbles

Epilogue 1 (2k words) | read on ao3 Epilogue 2 (~9k words) | read on ao3 Epilogue 3 (~5k words) | read on ao3 Epilogue 4 (~9k words) | read on ao3 Epilogue 5 (~11k words) | read on ao3 Epilogue 6 (10k words) | read on ao3 Epilogue 7 (8k words) | read on ao3

Summary

Only the respected patriarch of the Kim dynasty thinks you are worth anything. Despite his vision, the rest of the upper crust sees you as nothing more than your station, a girl borne of a family that only ever existed to serve them. Cruelly, the only thing standing in your way is also the key to your success: having to take care of a smiley, goofy, lanky, drunk manchild in ill-fitting clothes who just happens to be next in line for the throne, and who has just inadvertently kidnapped you. The next three days with Kim Seokjin will make or break you.

Excerpt

Mr. Kim stares at his son. You think you see a fondness in his eyes, but the words that come out of him are, “What the hell is wrong with my idiot son?”  He turns to you, and in the uncomfortable silence, you avert your eyes and fiddle with your phone. Eventually, you meet his gaze. “I’m sorry, I-I’m not sure how to, uh, is that a rhetorical question? Because I don’t feel, uh, what’s the word I’m looking for, uh, qualified to, uh—” “Please keep an eye on him. My legacy is on the line.” You nod and have to suppress a gigantic eye-roll. You want to say “what do you think I’ve been doing all these years?” “Promise me?” Mr. Kim asks suddenly. Now, you definitely see a fondness in his eyes. He’s terrified. He’s pleading you, and you soften. “Yes, sir. Of course. What do you think I’ve been doing all these years?”

Genres: Fluff / Smut / Humor / Angst / AU Businessman!BTS / Assistant!You / E2F2L / Flashbacks / Middle School OT7 / High School OT7 / College OT7 / Law School OT7 / Growing Up Together 

Pairings: Jin x Reader

Content Warnings: Soft smut, hard smut, strained father/son relationship, Jin is a manchild and your life would be so much better if he’d just get it together, but then where would you be, family trauma, bullying, teasing, some domestic violence, some references to physical abuse, references to and scenes of drug use, some kinky stuff, cheating, an icky instance with an unwanted advance, and just themes about expectations, general pressure, and anxiety.

Influences: Two Weeks’ Notice, Hamlet (honestly the whole dynamic between Jin and his dad is very Shakespearean), Succession (but only in theme), Iron Man franchise, Rory/Logan from Gilmore Girls, really into the whole rich boy thing this month apparently

Taglist 💜: permanent @purpleheartsfortae @btseditsworld | hideaway  @simpledomain  @impossiblytinytraveler​ @purplehearts1996​

Pecattiphilia— Part 7 | PJM

Pecattiphilia is the sexual arousal from performing an act one believes is a sin.

✽ Pairing: Jimin x Reader

✽ Genre: Angel Au, angst, fluff, smut, this is a slow burn (kinda?)! 

✽ Rated: U for Unexpected

✽ Series Warnings: This series will include discussion of religious aspects such as the afterlife and concepts of heaven and hell (There are no direct ties to any specific religion besides the mention of angels and demons— all aspects of religion was created by me for this series), this series includes a lot of violence (sometimes graphic depictions) and gore (nothing extreme, Jimin and the boys fight monsters sometimes), and mentions of sin (particularly revolving around sexual topics)

✽ Chapter Specific Warnings: just a whole lotta angst, angst, more angst, with some fluff on the side~ things do get a little smutty, arguments :O, lots of feelings and emotions good and bad, Jimin… Jimin??

✽ Word Count: 18k

✽ Summary: Jimin is sent to watch over you and as the years go by he gets more and more curious and sometimes just wishes he could get to know you. But he knows that’s forbidden, it's sin. However, a freak accident somehow causes Jimin and your eyes to meet for the first time with purpose. He knows it shouldn’t happen but he doesn’t want to break away. He wants you to look at him, wants you to touch him, wants you to be with him. The problem is none of this should have happened in the first place… what’s happening to him?

✽ Now Playing…: STRINGS by MAX (feat. Bazzi & JVKE)— visit the masterlist for the full playlist!

✽ Author’s Note: This is officially the end of the first installment of this series— the intro has now been concluded after over 2 years 😭! I’ll be taking a little break from here because act 2 officially starts with part 8 and I want to have a couple of chapters completed so I can stay ahead of schedule and not keep you guys waiting like with act 1~ The storyboard for the series has already been completed for the most part and act 2 is definitely a LONG act so lots of fun is still ahead of us! It won’t be till 2024 for the next parts, but this next installment shouldn’t call for as long of a wait in between chapters because they should be more consistently on the shorter side so I should be able to get a lot done a lot more quicker, but once again I’ll make an announcement once I have things figured out~ I also hope that in between I’ll be able to go through some of the early parts and re-edit them because it’s been a solid minute since I first started this series and idk if those parts are holding up as well as they should 😭 I’ll let you guys know about any changes~ Last two things, 1) Spotify playlist is officially on the masterlist and 2) New graphics for this series might be on the way with Act 2 🫢... Anyway, enjoy :D!

No reposting, modifying. Translating is not allowed unless given explicit permission. Thank you so much :D

previous chapter « main masterlist ✩ series masterlist » 2024!

He was so fucking close. 

The pillow Jimin had clutched in his arms felt like the only lifeline he had to stop himself from throwing it all away, his hard work, his purity, his promise. His whole body shook uncontrollably, a feeling he was inexplicably unaccustomed to. Jimin was always in control, every fiber of his being moved and acted in the way he intended it to without fail. That’s how it always was and always how it should be— him in control. 

This was new. It was not the same type of new that gave him a fresh breath of life, a new perspective of the world, that fleeting craving of wanting to understand. It was a new that made him so easily miss the old. This was bad, he didn’t like it. 

It was too human, too unpredictable. 

Even though he was off of you he couldn’t get it out of his head— the softness of your body in his grasp, that lingering warmth of your hands across his skin, your bodies pressed against each other in a heat of emotions. It just kept playing over and over again even as you laid right next to him and his body just couldn’t stop shaking. 

He wanted to stop himself, he wanted to think he tried, but his hips kept steadily rocking into his firm grasp of the pillow, craving that it was your warmth he was meeting instead. 

If only… If only.

He felt depraved and if his teammates could see him now, he just knew they would have the most to say. He probably looked pathetic and this sight would have made him laugh with disgust in the past.

Yet here he was…

It hurt so fucking much— his pained whines and moans filled the growing silence in your room despite how much he tried to stop them.

He had been so close, if you kept going any longer… too close, he was too close to—

“Jimin?” At the sound of your voice he finally found the strength to look over at you. An immediate flood of guilt hit him at once, but deep down this strange sense of pride did too.

He had failed, but that also meant you were wrong and he was glad to prove you so.

“Are— are you happy now?” He said into the pillow, needing to pull it as close as possible because your robe had slipped off of one of your shoulders giving him a glimpse of the lingerie set you were wearing underneath.

Oh he was truly pathetic. Just a sliver of skin was enough to make him feel like this?!

It hurt so much… For the first time in his life he was willing to do anything to take away the pain— even if that meant doing it himself. Somehow he keeps growing more shameless as this whole situation gets worse. But he must not fall into temptation. It was sin and he was better than that. He had to be. 

His wrist hurt so much at this point, his whole body ached. Sin, he’s done so much sin but this was good, he needed it to hurt. 

“I told you, you’re mine.” Jimin couldn’t help but smirk to himself. 

It felt so fucking good for you to finally see him— the real him according to you. The dream world was the same as the normal plane to him, but for some reason humans didn’t see it the same way. 

But being here now you had no reason to run off with someone else. You were his.

He’d hoped this would warrant a better reaction, a celebration even, but he didn’t even need to ask to know that wasn’t the case.

“I… I have to be dreaming…” You seemed dazed almost as you tried to look around at your surroundings, looking for any hint you still might be asleep. You had to be, Jimin didn’t exist, he—

“Are you seriously still doing that?” Jimin groaned into the pillow before turning to face you, because he was tired of this ignorant act. 

What more would it take?

“I’m asleep right now— just feeling guilty about the date later— that’s all this is…” But the more you looked the more deep down you knew things were different this time. 

“Look at me.” His tone was demanding, immediately commanding you for his attention. You couldn’t help but obey his order and turned so you were staring directly into his light brown eyes.

So enchanting, haunting, he was beautiful.

He seemed different, looked different, he was glowing almost. 

Jimin steadily moved the pillow to the side and moved so he was sitting right in front of you. It was almost intimidating, his presence carrying this weight that was just bordered overwhelming.

“Is that what you want, hm?” He definitely was upset. 

“You want this to be a dream so bad so you can go on your date— just leave me and you can run off with you boyfriend, since apparently we’re done, is that right?” He let out a dark laugh.

“But you can’t be real…” Your voice started to waver the more you looked at him. You gripped the sheets underneath you tightly.

“I think I really lost my mind.” You tried to compose yourself but the cracks were just getting bigger.

“And you really believe that?” Jimin laughed again but it was different this time, sadder, like he truly was hurt. He sat up so he was hovering over you, only inches from your face. 

“It has to be because I looked!” Your emotions were starting to boil over. 

“I looked everywhere! Why are you just now showing up, right before I’m trying my best to move on?!” Tears had started streaming down your cheeks.

“If Jimin really was real, the one I met in my dreams, why would he show up now? Had he not heard me plead every single night that by some miracle he’d show up, why would he suddenly manifest into my room now and make things complicated?” Pain, it hurt so much to even look at him. 

Jimin felt the guilt immediately wash over him. Sometimes it was easy to forget who he was dealing with. You were human— a simple creature that could somehow have him on his knees with the snap of your fingers. 

Of course you would have trouble understanding.

His gaze changed at your outburst, there was this sympathy behind his warm eyes, an understanding that this wasn’t as black and white as he was trying to make it out to be. 

Jimin looked into your eyes as he lifted his hand to steadily wipe away the tears that just wouldn’t stop flowing.

They really wouldn’t.

His hand was warm and sent sparks all throughout your body. How? How were you feeling this?

It was easier to say maybe you really lost your mind and you were seeing things but you could feel him. The touch you’d longed for since your first date under the tree, and it was everything you wanted and more. 

Unless you’d really crossed the line or died trying to get ready for your date, you just knew this was real, Jimin was really here with you somehow.

He chuckled at that. “No, you’re not dead yet. I’m here, I’m sorry I’m late.” And there was that smile, that same one that greeted you when you first wandered through the field in your dreams.

This was Jimin, your Jimin, the same one you’ve met almost every night for the last three months. He was here…

How?

How the fuck was he here?

Instinctively you backed up so you were pressed right against your headboard, pulling your robe closer to hug at your body for comfort. The air around you both shifted almost immediately.

“Who… who are you?” Your voice wavered for an entirely different reason.

You watched as his expression fall, his warm eyes growing dimmer by the second. You could tell you hurt his feelings.

“It’s— it’s me Jimin.” He still tried to keep the smile but he could just sense your uneasiness.

“Jimin?” You still couldn’t believe it.

“Yeah me, Jimin.”

“Jimin who?” It was a strange question he didn’t get at first.

“Just Jimin… your Jimin, the same one you’ve always known.” He tried again. 

You just looked at him for a little while and even though Jimin was always in your head, he couldn’t make sense of the thoughts racing around in your mind. He knew he didn’t like them.

You moved even further away, his words seemingly bringing no comfort.

“How?— I just don’t understand.” You were beyond confused and just looking at him made you feel like you lost your mind.

Jimin tried to stay calm knowing this was a lot to process for you. 

“Well, that would be a little hard to explain—“

“Why are you here?” You asked before he could even finish. You were up and off the bed pacing around your room before he could process the question. 

This wasn’t at all what he pictured if a time ever came he revealed himself to you. He tried to stop himself from getting angry that you were reacting like this. 

“For you! To hopefully stop you from leaving me!” Is that not obvious?

“What are you?!” This almost felt like an interrogation in how you were grilling him, yet he wasn’t sure if you were even listening to anything he had to say. 

“Your angel, I told you this! Your guardian, I watch over—“ 

He wasn’t able to finish before suddenly you loudly sighed as you took a seat at the edge of the bed, facing away from him. 

Jimin just stared at you as your hands came up over your face. He could hear your soft whimpers and he didn’t need to be close to see you were shaking. This wave of hurt washed over him all over again for an entirely different reason.

“Did you… did you not want me here?” There was this defeated, dejected tone to his voice making the question that much more weightier. 

You quickly turned around and he could see the tears in your eyes, you looked absolutely destroyed. 

“I don’t know!” You exclaimed, but it sounded more like a sob than anything. The confession immediately felt like he was shot everywhere in his body— something he’s experienced and the pain couldn’t even compare to what he felt like now. 

“This is too much— angel— you’re here! And I have a date I’m supposed to go to an hour and a half from now!” You cried. It was obvious you were overwhelmed, Jimin knew that but this pain didn’t let that fact process and he was taking your words at face value. 

Jimin scooted further away from you so he was sitting at the opposite edge of the bed. 

“Well I’m sorry I interrupted… I’ll leave if you want me too.” His voice had turned flat, devoid of all emotion, but his hands were shaking.

At this point he fully expected you to beg him to get out. He would have listened, at that point what left was there to stay for? He certainly didn’t expect you to suddenly get up, walk around the bed so you were standing right in front of him.  

Jimin hesitantly looked up and the heart he didn’t have just shattered into pieces seeing how wet your face was. He hurt you, didn’t he?

“I’m confused— I can’t even process the angel thing, but I just can’t get past the question of why are you here?!” It came out mean and even though he knew what you meant by it, it still didn’t hurt any less.

Jimin just looked down. He didn’t want to see you right now.

“I told you.”

“But I just— why now?! Why didn’t you come sooner?! Days ago when Jin-Sang asked me, weeks before it happened? Why didn’t you come to me during our first meeting?!” This was horribly timed, too much was happening, you were confused and you were taking it all out on him. 

Jimin finally found the strength to look up again.

“I couldn’t.” 

“WHY?!” You didn’t mean to yell but you just couldn’t understand.

Suddenly Jimin stood up right in front of you. You were a little taken aback, seeing him stand for some reason made this whole situation that much more real having him right in front of you like this. He was taller than you, not by much, but enough you had to look up at him. It was a little intimidating considering the situation.

“I’m not supposed to be here— I tried meeting you the way I knew how, but I couldn’t lose you to the fact you didn’t think I was real!” He could only muster just sounding slightly annoyed.

“So what I’m hearing is that it took Jin-Sang asking me out to get you to come but not me wanting you here was enough...” You knew that’s not what he was saying but it’s how you felt.

Jimin just looked absolutely defeated.

This wasn’t at all how this was supposed to go.

“Y/n you have no idea what I’m risking being here! I wish I could have been here sooner! For you to think I don’t care— do you know how much I need to care to be here! I don’t care about any other human but you! Jin-Sang has nothing to do with this.” He didn’t yell but you could tell he was upset. 

You could see it in his eyes— the light brown color growing darker by the second.

It was different when this was all in your head but now that he was actually standing here the weight of the term angel became frightening. You had no idea what he could do to you?

Who was he really?

Jimin looked down again, your thoughts were overwhelming and he honestly just wanted to leave. He was scaring you after all.

“I’ll leave if you want me to.” Jimin was trying so hard to keep it together. This was the normal plane, a breakdown certainly wouldn’t mean well here.

“Jimin I— I’m just confused, scared, too much is happening.” You didn’t like seeing him upset but the way your heart was rapidly beating in your chest made the only thing in control was your brain trying to survive, and not your heart.

“I’m sorry— I ruined your day for you. You were excited about your date and I came at a bad time. You can still make it on time if you hurry— Jin-Sang is almost done getting ready and heading out soon.” He tried to force a smile but he probably looked like he was seconds away from bursting into tears— he couldn’t but it sure looked like it.

Jimin hastily tried to push past you toward your bedroom door, but you grabbed his wrist before he could get too far.

You watched as he looked down at your hand before slowly trailing up your body to meet your eyes.

“Just give me time, ok?” Your words said one thing but your hand was shaking.

You were absolutely terrified of him. 

That hurt worse than any of your words did.

“Good luck with your date— I’ll be around.” Jimin pulled his arm from your grasp and headed for the door.

“Jimin—“ You called out once his hand grabbed hold of the handle. 

He stood there for a second, seemingly lost in thought before turning to you. 

“I can’t believe you’d think that I’d ever—“ You were scared of him for a reason. Being shocked is one thing, something he could understand considering the nature of your reality, but you were literally shaking around him. He obviously didn’t do something right leading up to this for you to even think of that possibility.

“I’m sorry… I guess I really was bad at this, huh?” It was a pained laugh, Jimin just wanted to disappear.

Before you could even respond you watched as he pulled open the door and walked out of your room. You tried to case after him, but the door closed right in your face. 

Hurried you pulled open the door but you were just met with your empty apartment. Jimin was nowhere in sight.

In actuality he wasn’t far, he was right in front of you. He had finally turned back around to see your panic at the fact he was gone. When you went to look further into your apartment you simply phased right through him when you went to see if you somehow missed him.

Jimin didn’t follow you, he just collapsed right there.

The storm clouds were back and he was soaked in a matter of seconds. He didn’t have words anymore, it hurt too much to try and think about it.

For once he wanted to close his eyes and know peace.

⊱ ────── {⋅. ✯ .⋅} ────── ⊰

The first thing you did afterward was text Jin-Sang that you couldn’t make it to your date later. You said something vague about something coming up suddenly and you wouldn’t be able to be there. He responded back by first asking if you were ok, you told him you were, and then gave you this cute sad face before sending his last text.

Jin-Sang [3:22pm]: ah well :(

Jin-Sang [3:23pm]: maybe next time!

You felt bad but going on a date was the last thing on your mind considering what you thought was your very make-believe boyfriend turned out to be a very real person who suddenly magically appeared in your room only hours before you were about to go on a date with someone else. 

A date was out of the question.

It was crazy and sounded like something out of a weird romance book you probably would have never picked up. 

You honestly were wondering if you made up the whole encounter in your head considering its absurdity, but when you went back to your room your date clothes were crumpled up on the floor right where Jimin laid.

This whole thing didn’t make any sense, how, how, how was he here?

You honestly couldn’t wrap your head around it and the more you thought about all the moments you shared with each other in your dreams you started looking at everything with a new perspective. 

At the moment all you could think about was the terrifying implications but as you laid back down on your bed, it was somewhat equally as fascinating.

Angels exist? And for some reason one of them liked you?

You!

Why you?!

You of all people?

You weren’t anything special— you weren’t the most beautiful person in the world, you certainly weren’t the smartest, for an angel of all people to like you…? YOU?!

It sounded like the start of some stand up routine, one you wouldn’t find very funny. 

And Jimin?

An angel?!

The stuff he managed to do in your dreams, you remembered the wings, those wings, the stories he’d tell, and the fact he was in your head all the time.

Part of you probably would have been wondering if any of that were things that transferred to reality, but you explicitly remembered Jimin was in your head just like in your dreams. This was wild, terrifying, and you wanted to know more.

Then there was the whole thing about your relationship.

He lied to you. Well, he technically didn’t lie, but he wasn’t being truthful about who he was. He made you believe this entire time he wasn’t real and swooped in right at the last minute to reveal he was.

What even were you now?

It was too much, this entire day was just a roller coaster of emotions. You couldn’t text or call Mina and rant to her about how crazy things went today, she would just think you’re crazy.

All you pretty much did all day was pace around your apartment— you probably did look like you’re crazy, talking out loud to yourself trying to make sense of everything or what you should do going forward. 

You also felt bad for what you said to him.

Now having a moment to think, your reaction was a bit much and he had every right to be mad at you. Too much was happening and you definitely regretted some of what you said— some of it you still thought was justified.

It was complicated, you thought this whole situation was a mess. You felt like you had been run through the washing machine five times in a row and then the world just had to give you that extra spin cycle because apparently that wasn’t enough. At some point you finally just had to sit down.

It was only 9:30 but you were out in a matter of ten minutes. No dreams, maybe Jimin had left from protecting you tonight, but instead it was just nightmares— nightmares about him oddly enough.

Some were worse than others— In one you were married, he wasn’t an angel, it was just you, Y/n and Jimin married with a house together— no kids yet you don’t think. It was a dream almost for the most part, you both doing domestic things like cooking and laundry. It all took a turn when you had asked Jimin to help you find some of your old textbooks— you had wanted to review before the semester started and Jimin had been kind enough to help you. When you went into your storage room you had both rummaged through a few unpacked moving boxes but your search was interrupted when you turned around and you were face to face with a monster.

It was strange, scary, it was fuzzy now but immediately the figure put their hand– it was cold and slimy, you did remember that– they put it over your mouth when you tried to scream out to Jimin.

But the figure spun you around so you could see it wasn’t the only one, before you could even process the whole thing, the one that was after Jimin took a knife to his chest and then it slowly dragged his lifeless body into this strange darkness.

Absolutely terrifying and you woke up in a cold sweat each and every time but that didn’t compare to the other ones that plagued your mind overnight.

Jimin was the scary monster dragging you down.

You didn’t know where this came from but you did all at the same time.

You were scared of him— not of Jimin specifically— or maybe you were, you weren’t sure. You couldn’t forget his eyes right before he left. That was your Jimin the same one you saw every night, it’s more so the fact you didn’t understand exactly what he was and his presence. 

You could never forget how it felt when he was close to you. It was weighty, commanding, yet warm and light at the same time. You didn’t want to look away.

There was so much you didn’t understand you couldn’t help but be scared. You felt bad though because deep down for some reason you knew there wasn’t any reason to be, it was a more of a natural human reaction for something you didn’t understand.

You still didn’t think it was right though.

You had gone to bed early but because of the constant nightmares you were stuck tossing and turning all night. You were exhausted even though on the clock it said you slept 12 hours, waking up five or six times in between made all of that useless. 

You were tempted to try and sleep more but you didn’t want any more nightmares and despite your exhaustion you just knew you couldn’t sleep with all the thoughts swimming around in your head. You had to face this issue head on or you’d never be able to sort through everything and figure out what you actually wanted.

Somehow you found the energy to get up and go shower, finally giving you the opportunity to change out of your lingerie and robe into some actual comfy clothes. The shower helped slightly in waking you up and just gave you a chance to temporarily wash all your worries and stress away that you needed to before trying to do this again. 

It was refreshing and after a little breakfast you felt rejuvenated enough to finally make the move you knew you needed to.

You looked around your apartment wondering how you were supposed to do this. Part of you was even worried that yesterday was all another one of your nightmares, but deep down you knew.

“Jimin?” You called out, hesitantly. You instantly felt a little crazy.

Was this how you were supposed to do this? Could he hear you? Was he even around after what happened yesterday? Did yesterday actually even happen?!

“Jimin.” You tried again a little more calmly but you still felt so unsure of yourself. You were standing in the living room but you decided to take a seat on the couch.

“Look, Jimin I don’t know if you’re listening— if yesterday actually happened or not, maybe you’re gone after how I treated you… but… I needed some time to process things and if you wanted to talk about things…” You groaned, was this actually working?

“I’m sorry… I really want to see and speak to you again. Can we start over?” You said out into the void. 

“Are you sure that’s what you want?” You jumped at the sudden sound of another voice. You turned your head to the right and low and behold there was Jimin once again, the same Jimin you saw yesterday.

He was sitting at the other end of your couch and had one of the cushions in his lap. He held the same dejected expression that honestly seemed worse than the last time you saw each other.

It was like how you saw him in your dreams before this whole fiasco started— gone was that Jimin who would happily embrace you with open arms, who’s smile would light up the entire universe if possible, instead he seemed desolate, despondent, dispirited as he held his head low, not looking at you, but the pillow in his lap.

You tried your best to calm your beating heart because he literally manifested out of nowhere.

“I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to scare you again.” You vaguely picked on his use of again. An overwhelming amount of guilt came over you just hearing how sad he seemed. This was all your fault.

“I just— you can do that? Disappear and reappear?” You tried to laugh as you turned to him. You wanted to lighten the mood, things were so tense now.

But the silence continued and you figured he wasn’t going to respond to that. Just sitting next to him though it slowly started to dawn on you that yesterday did in fact happen, Jimin was real, and you were talking with an angel… literally!

The nerves were back all over again but you tried not to let them show.

“Jimin I—… I’m really sorry about yesterday.” You finally had to say something.

“Things just happened so fast, it was so sudden and I really… I was really overwhelmed.” You laid it out and you were honest. You were still overwhelmed but with a little bit of sleep and time you felt like you were in a better space to process the situation.

He was still silent. You hated this.

In a bold effort in order to get him to talk to you, you quickly scooted over to his side so you were sitting right beside him. Your thigh was right against his, and the minute you got close you were blessed with that enchanting presence you felt yesterday. It was strange, but you liked it, it made you feel all tingly inside.

Being this close also gave you a chance to really see him. His beautiful dirty blonde hair was a little curly and longer than it was in your dreams, it was pretty in the way it came down and framed his round face. It looked so soft just like he seemed, his features so delicate like a statue that seemed too lifelike to be made of marble. How someone this beautiful could exist didn’t seem possible and surely he could never be human.

Maybe you should have known sooner.

“Y/n you don’t need to pretend… I’m in your head, remember?” Jimin quietly said, taking you out of your thoughts.

You knew what he was talking about and at first you wanted to deny it but you knew you couldn’t lie to him.

“Then talk to me, explain why I shouldn’t be scared?” You pleaded. You wanted some type of explanation at what was going on.

“Who are you?” You asked once again. You needed some type of answers.

Jimin was silent again for a while and at first you worried this meant he wouldn’t talk to you. Maybe he was done after what happened yesterday.

“I never lied to you… I told you who I was when we first met. You just didn’t believe me.” You weren’t prepared for the cute pout he spoke with as he played with his fingers in his lap.

Oh.

“It was kinda hard to believe you when you were telling me in my dreams. Even then I thought that was just like— you know, I’m so sweet, I’m such an angel type thing. Not literally!” You exclaimed. How were you supposed to know he was being serious?

“I guess you’re right— I’m not used to humans and I wrongly thought you got the picture.” He briefly looked over at you and even though you were sitting down, the glance you had at his eyes made a shiver run up your spine. The light brown color was back and something about them just made you want to never look away.

It was enough that you nearly glossed over what he said.

“Jimin, I’m sure you know I have a lot of questions…” 

Jimin steadily nodded his head. You probably didn’t even need to ask, he was in your head already to know what you were thinking. Yet he still left the floor open to you to ask first.

“How much can I ask?” You asked curiously. There had to be some limitations right?

“You’re right, I can’t really tell you about what I do…” He mentioned. 

“What can you tell me then?” 

Jimin thought about it for a second.

“Basically what I said to you yesterday— I’m in charge of watching over you, protecting you from the sin in the world up until you meet your end.” It was the most bare bones answer and certainly over summarized, but it got the job done.

“And that time you left, was that to protect me?” That was certainly not the question he expected you to ask next.

“Well— yes and no. It wasn’t you specifically— protecting you is my main duty but not the only one. Sometimes the bad guys are far away and my team and I need to take care of it.” Again another bare bones answer but it got the point across.

You steadily nodded and Jimin didn’t need to read your mind to know you were already starting to get overwhelmed.

“That’s as much as I can say, but I hope that helped.” He wanted to comfort you, to tell you things would be alright but any wrong move and he feared it would be enough to get you to panic again.

“It did— thank you.” You wanted to ask more, he knew you did, but there was one thought that was louder than the others.

“Am I the only person you’ve watched?” You asked.

Jimin shook his head. “Far from it actually, hundreds, thousands, maybe even millions would be an understatement.” He’s been around for so long, even with a perfect memory, the details like specific numbers can get fuzzy.

“Is this then your first time here on earth or— you know…” 

Jimin once again shook his head.

“Then— then I can’t be the only person who’s been in your life like I have, right.” Your voice started to waver. “There must be hundreds, thousands, millions then that you’ve gotten close to.” You rushed out before he could answer.

The urge to pull you close was almost suffocating.

“I… you’re the first.” Jimin finally turned to you and your eyes…

“Angels don’t really feel much most of the time. Besides being their protector, I felt nothing more than what my duty required. You’re different…” He made sure to add that last part. You needed to know.

“I— I don’t understand. Why me?!” You questioned but your eyes were watery wondering what possibly made you special.

Jimin looked off into the distance trying to think of an answer.

“I honestly have no idea— I don’t understand it either.” That was not the best response, he knew it as soon as it left his mouth. He was being honest though, he had no idea what was truly causing this to happen.

It certainly wasn’t normal, he shouldn’t feel anything, it shouldn’t even be possible for him to be capable of feeling anything. 

Some days Jimin honestly wondered if all it might just be is surface level attraction— you weren’t the first human he’s at the very least been attracted to, far from it actually. But never once had he ever wanted to pursue anything more than looking— if you enjoy looking at something, what is the harm in indulging that far?

Nothing and anything further than that was sin anyway. He had no desire… no desire for the most part until John and his relationship was Ana, but even that was a fraction of what he experienced with you.

And somehow it got so much worse in the recent months, right before he met you, right before he collapsed in your living room, it just got to the point where his feelings were suffocating. He wanted to meet you, actually meet you and get to know you.

It was far beyond the simple attraction, his insides felt strange anytime he’d even look in your direction. And then all the extra emotions, new ones, ones that felt over saturated. No, this was something entirely new.

Jimin was certainly attracted to you but it was more than that. It had to be.

Maybe the smart thing to do would have been to quickly follow that up with the last thing said, but instead the silence lasted for a little too long where it made it seem like that was all he had to say.

Jimin felt your heart start to break. “Oh ok— well umm— I’m sorry for— for— for—“ You were shaking beside him and he knew he had to do something.

This might have been a little too forward considering he was literally trying to convince you not to be scared of him, but he wanted to do anything to take the feelings away. He wrapped his arm around your shoulders and pulled you close.

“That’s not what I meant at all. I wish you could read my mind too because I suck at this talking thing.” He tried to laugh as his thumb gently stroked your arm. He really did feel bad, he shouldn’t make you feel like this.

“Angels aren’t really made for this— that’s why at first I tried to get close to you without crossing that line as much as I could. I didn’t want to hurt you because I’m not human and I don’t feel what you do. It’s why I said it meant so much to me when you said you were willing to try despite my incompetence. I get that it was in the context of a dream for you, but it was very real to me.” The reality dawned on him. Maybe you only said yes because it was a dream, but real life implications weren’t ones you were willing to put up with.

Maybe this was all his fault. Maybe the real reason he strictly met you in your dreams was because the terms and conditions he came with, he knew you would never agree to them in anything other than a dream.

It was pathetic.

A realization also hit you as he spoke. Jimin truly had once never lied to you or even really withheld any information. This was all things you’ve heard before, albeit without the proper context, but he had told you this before.

“I still don’t get it… why me?” You asked again because it just wasn’t making sense.

“I don’t have that answer but I do know that I’m glad it is. I’ve had a lot of opportunities to turn back but every time I meet you I never want to leave your side. I choose you and I will keep choosing you as long as you let me. A lot of this doesn’t make sense to me but for once I want to stop thinking and just embrace what is happening. You’ve allowed me to experience so much and I want to keep making new ones with you if you’ll allow me to.” It was a selfish ask, for him to want to put you through the pain that he knew he would enviably cause you.

It was a lot and you were overwhelmed again. There was one part of you that just wanted to leap into his arms that despite what happened yesterday you truly were exalted to find out he was actually real. All that hoping and wishing and now he’s sitting beside you on your couch. Then there was the other half that wanted to run away from society as a whole and become a hobbit somewhere in the woods because everything was too much to take at this point.

“Are you still scared of me?” Jimin asked timidly.

Again the urge to reassure him but you knew he was in your head to know you were lying.

“Not as much but it’s still a lot.” You laid it out. It was simply because this was all still so new and there was so much you didn’t understand about him. You were sure with time things might change.

“I can give you time. It’s a lot, I understand.” Jimin pulled you a little closer to reassure you, everything was fine and that he’d wait if he needed to.

“Thank you.” You weakly smiled.

Despite your words, part of you hoped he would stay and let you rest in his arms like this, it was nice. But just as you were really getting comfortable you felt Jimin suddenly shift. You looked up at him and you were shocked to see him looking off into the distance with a concerned look on his face. His eyes suddenly turned from a warm, light brown, into that blue that reminded you of the ocean.

“Uh— Y/n I’m sorry to cut this short but duty calls and I have work to do.” Jimin said hastily as he started moving you off of him.

You watched confusingly as he quickly got off the couch and reached in his pocket, pulling out this gold cylinder. You only saw it briefly but you were immediately captivated by the designs in the metal, they seemed so intricate, like someone spent an eternity crafting the piece into perfection. You wanted to take the time to study it more but he was moving so fast, it was hard to see anything exactly. 

You had questions, a lot of questions actually and you knew Jimin knew.

“I’m sorry I can’t answer them, but when you’re ready to talk again I’ll be around.” He turned and you just felt this warmth wash over you as you stared into his light blue eyes. He was beautiful and the more you looked the more you knew you had nothing to be afraid of.

“Just call me like you did this time and I’ll be there.” He smiled at you. All your worries for a moment felt like they flew away for a second, it was just you and Jimin and his dazzling smile.

You were starstruck. 

And if things couldn’t get anymore magical you watched as a pair of wings manifested right in front of your eyes, slowly unfolding and becoming more visible. It felt time itself slowed as you watched, the feathers themselves seemed to illuminate and sparkle in the sunlight. They probably spanned nearly the entire size of your living room, you were briefly able to turn behind them, just shy of touching the wall behind you. Just like in your dream they didn’t connect to his back, instead slowly becoming more visible. It was glorious and an overwhelming urge to tear up just hit you like a brick to the face. 

This was Jimin— the Jimin you’ve known since he first appeared in your dreams except he was really here with you. The sight was nothing like what you saw in your dreams anytime he’d somehow convince you to fly with him. This was him, really him.

You wanted to cry and tell him not to leave but you held it in. 

In one of the most confusing sights ever with one last smile toward you, you watched as he turned toward one of your windows before looking like he was ready to run straight into the wall. He probably only took two steps before it’s like he was sucked into a black hole, getting smaller to the point you couldn’t see him anymore. 

He was gone and you were alone again. 

You finally let the tears just fall from your eyes and they did almost uncontrollably, you were bawling in a matter of seconds.

What just happened?

⊱ ────── {⋅. ✯ .⋅} ────── ⊰

You were laid out on your bed when you got the text from Mina.

Mina [8:02pm]: Hey friend~ Just wanted to know how your date went with Jin-Sang last night 👀?

And suddenly you were back in reality. 

You hadn’t done much all day as all your mind could focus on was Jimin, Jimin, and more Jimin. You had even decided to call out of work tomorrow knowing you probably wouldn’t be able to get anything done feeling this. 

So much has happened it was easy to forget the outside world existed. You almost forgot what prompted everything in the first place, that you were supposed to go out with Jin-Sang yesterday and how Jimin had suddenly manifested into your room as a result.

You grabbed your phone and stared at your keyboard for a while wondering what to type. Do you tell her about Jimin? Certainly not everything but at least the fact that the mystery guy you were seeing showed up.

Mystery guy? 

He certainly wasn’t a mystery anymore, at least, not in the same way.

What were you now anyway?

Beforehand you were confident when you thought of Jimin as your boyfriend that lived in your head, but now could you even say that anymore?

Jimin turning out to be real really shook the foundations of your relationship, if anything were to continue you would at least need to start over slightly in order to build a new one all over again.

And this isn’t as simple as just that, but Jimin wasn’t human. He was an angel and you found that incredibly intimidating. There was so much you didn’t know or understand. He didn’t tell you much but you already knew dating wouldn’t be exactly an easy task and the issues you would face wouldn’t be like any other couple.

There was so much to consider that as much as you liked Jimin, you did, you really did, agreeing to just pick things up where you left off felt like a decision that was not as easy as you wanted it to be.

And Jimin heard your struggle. At first he was chilling in his spot on the building across from your apartment but as your thoughts started to focus more so on the nature of your relationship, he flew back over to your room and sat at the end of your bed.

You decided to text Mina.

You [8:10pm]: Won’t be at work tomorrow

You [8:10pm]: We can talk about it when I get back on Tuesday :)

Mina [8:11pm]:You okay??

You [8:12pm]: I’m fine, just a lot happened ㅠㅠ

Mina [8:13pm]: I can call if you need me to 

You [8:13pm]: I’m fine!

You [8:14pm]: Just need some time!

Mina [8:14pm]: You sure?

You [8:15pm]: Yeah, thank you though :3

Mina [8:16pm]: See you on Tuesday then, I’ll be waiting for the tea 👀~

You [8:17pm]: See you :)!

Mina [8:18pm]: Goodnight!

You [8:19pm]: Night!!

Jimin didn’t even need to see your phone to know what your texts were and he was curious what you were going to tell her. Part of him wanted to follow his promise and give you the space and time you needed to process it all and only be there when you wanted him. 

But it was that strange feeling that had him appearing in your room in the first place when he thought about you seeing Jin-Sang again that made him want to make sure you knew who you belonged to before seeing him again. 

Maybe if he was more confident in the fact you would choose him he wouldn’t care too much, but he wasn’t sure and so weren’t you. 

The fact that you might not even be together anymore made that feeling, this incipient need to remind you what you were even though the situation has significantly changed. He wanted you, he didn’t want you to leave him— to pick some human over him.

You deserved better and for some reason he thought he could give you that.

You can’t love her like she wants.

I want to though and I will prove it.

You will hurt her.

I won’t.

You will hurt you. You will hurt us.

She matters more.

This will only end in tragedy.

But Jimin didn’t want to listen anymore. His other half has caused him more turmoil than anything. Listening made him hurt you and if he was going to make you choose him, the more rational side was not needed when nothing he was doing anymore was rational.

He knew that but he couldn’t find it in himself to care as much anymore. All he wanted right now was to win you back and he’d do anything it takes to make that happen.

Anything, he’d do anything for you.

⊱ ────── {⋅. ✯ .⋅} ────── ⊰

You really didn’t know why at first you decided to take Monday off, this weekend had just been so much you acted without thinking. Maybe work would have given you the chance to think about something else other than what transpired but it was already too late to take it back. 

It was Monday and you had a whole day ahead of you to try and figure this out. Then again, one day also didn’t seem like enough.

You were back on your couch again trying to rewatch Reply 1988 to take your mind off things, but you couldn’t focus. All your mind could seem to do was think about Jimin. What were you going to do?

You thought about his beauty, his glorious wings, the golden cylinder, the way Jimin just seemed to sparkle in the sunlight. You thought about all the dates you had in your head, the good times you shared. You also thought about how much you would plead every night when you’d wake up that somehow, somewhere Jimin existed and you would meet someday.

You still doubted at times that this weekend actually happened, it felt unreal, and you were trying to come to terms with the fact despite its outrageousness, somehow this was all real. It was too much.

Your wish came true and as guilty as you felt you still didn’t know exactly how you felt about it. Jimin showing up out of nowhere sounded good in your head, but the implications didn’t exactly register. You never thought it would need to. 

You never thought that would mean the Jimin you’ve been meeting in your dreams was an angel. 

An angel.

An angel?!

It made your head spin just thinking about it. 

At some point you just knew you had to get out the house because you were just going to keep spiraling if you let yourself stay here and wallow in your own thoughts.

You didn’t really have a destination in mind, you just found yourself getting ready. Maybe you’d just take a walk, maybe some retail therapy, maybe a nice meal was what you needed?

You had no idea and ultimately you just decided to feel it out when you got there.

You were wearing shorts and a simple t-shirt, today was too hot for anything more than that and to be honest you had no interest in trying to dress up a little more. All you wanted was to get out of the confines of your apartment to hopefully give you a moment to breathe and take your mind off things.

You looked around making sure you had everything.

Keys, wallet, water, etc, etc— you put everything in your little backpack. You had no idea what this day might bring so you decided to pack light. After another check around your place making sure you grabbed everything you might want to bring, you put your phone in your pocket and headed for the door.

You pulled it open already trying to somewhat plan a direction you were trying to head to but you didn’t make it far. Instead you stood there in the door frame completely frozen in place, staring out in front of you with wide eyes.

“Hello!” An enthusiastic voice said to you.

You nearly fell over and screamed but of course he was quicker and held you up so you wouldn’t just crumble into pieces.

“Woah, you ok?” Jimin asked, genuinely concerned seeing he had to hold your waist to keep you from collapsing.

Your heart was beating so fast you swore you were moments away from a heart attack. You felt stuck as you stared up at his honey brown eyes peering into yours.

The dots finally connected and you realized this was Jimin who was waiting in front of your door and who had to hold you up.

“I didn’t mean to scare you, I thought it’d be a cute surprise… I’m sorry.” Jimin tried to laugh but he really did feel bad, he didn’t know he’d scare you that bad.

Realizing also you were moments away from hitting the floor, you reached your hands out to wrap around his neck so he could pull you up. Jimin got the picture but in the moment you didn’t realize it would have you close— or as close as you’ve been since you found out Jimin was real.

You just stared into each other’s eyes as he helped you back up to your feet and even then the moment didn’t end as Jimin didn’t immediately take your hands off your waist. The moment reminded you of how things were when you were still in your head, before things got complicated.

And despite everything there was this part of you that wished he’d just kiss you again. You missed him and you wanted him to fix this mess he’d caused in your head.

But suddenly he let go and backed a noticeable distance away from you. You wanted him back before he even let go.

“Uh— I’m sorry— I really didn’t mean to scare you.” Jimin stammered out.

This reminded you of your second date, the first one he picked you up and flew you to that paradise in the clouds, how you were so sure he was going to kiss you, but for some reason you never understood why he backed away.

“Um—“ You quickly had to shake yourself awake. “I just didn’t expect you, or anyone behind my door.” You finally laughed, it was a little funny after all.

At this Jimin smiled. 

Now that you recollected yourself you finally were able to process that Jimin was in front of you. He looked a little different than the last time you saw each other. Gone were his white, silky clothes. Instead he almost looked no different to anyone else— well, that was a lie, he was still better than everyone else.

He was wearing black pants, and this sandy colored sweater that had holes all over it, with this small cross bag he had over his shoulder, and black sandals. His hair that was practically the same color as his sweater was styled nicely and had these cute curls that just made him look adorable. You also barely registered he had a black bucket hat in hand you wondered if he was going to put on later.

You brain didn’t even really process the sweater and the fact he wasn’t wearing anything underneath until you realized you could see more of his tattoos. 

You knew he had some across his arms but you haven’t really seen him without a shirt to know he had more underneath, a plethora it seemed. You couldn’t help but wonder if there were more you had yet to discover…

Hot… of course he just had to show up looking so hot. He always did but something about him looking so casual yet so perfect made you want to climb him like a tree.

Oh you need to calm yourself.

Suddenly you saw Jimin look down and then his hands came up to cover his chest. There was this weird smile on his face. 

“Your mind…” He cheesed, but he was blushing and of course you forgot who you were dealing with— the man who can read your thoughts.

“I can change if it’s too distracting, I just wanted to look nice for you but—“ Jimin mumbled looking down and he was realizing how see through his sweater was. Maybe if he hadn’t sinned so much the markings across his body wouldn’t be so dark and would blend like they should into his skin, but they haven’t been that way since he got back from his last mission.

“No it’s nice, you look nice.” You were simple and some eye candy is just what you needed after the weekend.

Jimin knew this and again that devious, mischievous smile was back and you couldn’t help but laugh knowing you probably fell right into his trap.

“If you don’t mind me asking though, what are you so dressed so nicely for?” You asked doing another once over because gosh than man was beautiful.

Jimin giggled at that. “For you of course, you were going out so I thought I’d come with you.”

Like a date?

“If you want to look at it that way, then yes, it’s a date.” Another trap you fell into by bringing it up first.

Immediately you looked down at your more than plain outfit you had planned not really to be perceived in. White t-shirt and jean shorts… If you went out with Jimin like this… oh this wouldn’t do.

Considering how complicated things were between you two maybe you shouldn’t have cared as much or even you could have told him that you needed space and walked right past him, but you wanted to look good for him.

“Can— can you give me like 15 minutes to get changed then.” You looked up at him and pleaded.

Before he could answer you slammed the door in his face and ran to your closet. After seeing his sweater you had the perfect dress in mind. It was a no sleeve, tight, black dress that sat just above the knee, it was covered in holes just like his sweater, maybe even more so, but it had this slip that was underneath that went down to your thigh.

It gave you a chance to show off your own tattoos, though there weren’t many you still thought it was nice to compliment his own. 

They were small, colorful flower tattoos across your arms that you got after you broke up with your ex. You had a bit of a crisis and the tattoo shop seemed to be your place for comfort. The staff there were nice and let you rant your troubles away while they worked and even gave you some insightful advice. You even went back a couple of extra times to get more piercings in your ears just to have an excuse to see them again.

They knew what you were doing and the girl who’d done your tattoos finally gave you her number and you both kept in contact and still to this day whenever they have staff outings where they all get food, sometimes they still invite you.

You checked in the mirror and after smoothing out your dress and grabbing a light sweater just in case— you quickly went over to the bathroom to do your makeup up a little more, not too much cause you didn’t have time but just enough you looked nicer than normal. 

You put your hair up as well into a high ponytail to show off the small flower you had behind your ear and switched out your jewelry to be a little more fancy and match more with your outfit. Last touch was switching your tennis shoes for these cute, black sandals you felt confident you could walk in if necessary. Your bag still worked with your outfit so after grabbing your sweater again you rushed back to the door and pulled it open.

You weren’t expecting him to be standing right in front of the door again, like he knew you were coming. You were this close to screaming and falling over again, but a slight jump back was all that managed to happen.

You were shocked, so shocked you didn’t realize the weird look on Jimin’s face as he stared at you. His eyes went up your form before trailing back down. Oh now you’ve seen that look before and you couldn’t help but laugh.

“I can change if it’s too distracting, just wanted to look nice for you~” You laughed, throwing his words from earlier back at him. 

Maybe you wouldn’t be laughing if you knew what he was thinking. You looked good, too good and he was far too… unstable to process this correctly. If things were different his swirling thoughts of “wow she looks good, just wait till we get home later” would be acceptable, even more so considering how good you looked right now. There was no later, there could never be a later, and he was struggling so badly to contain himself.

“I was going to say earlier that you looked beautiful beforehand and you didn’t need to change if you didn’t want to, but…” That same cute smile was back.

You were about to say something to one up him but suddenly his hands were on your waist again and he was close. 

Jimin wanted to say something about the fact he was going to make sure today you’d end up choosing him, or the fact you were his, or something along those lines but that didn’t feel or sound right at all. He wanted you to be his but he didn’t want to force it if that’s not what you wanted.

But seeing you like this, he knew he had to try his hardest because he wanted more than anything for this to be the norm, for you to look at him and choose him just like he had you.

Just the thought of you dressing like this to go and impress Jin-Sang made him want to set the world a blaze in a burning, hot, fiery inferno, ruin this world beyond comprehension because nothing at that point would matter. This scalding desire to please you in any way possible consumed him with a vengeful need. He couldn’t live in that reality, no one should, so he had to make sure you chose him doing whatever it takes. Hopefully with this date that would accomplish that with ease.

Hopefully.

“I just— you’re amazing and I want to give you a good day today.” He smiled down at you and you swore you nearly turned to a puddle right then and there.

You grew meek as he gently guided you over to the elevator. You both didn’t say a word to each other as you rode down, but you couldn’t help your excitement for what the day might bring. 

As you both walked outside you finally had to ask the question. “Sooo what did you have planned?” 

Suddenly Jimin stopped in his tracks and you nearly bumped into him. 

“I’m honestly not sure, your thoughts were so jumbled it was hard to figure out what you might be interested in. I was thinking we see where today takes us, have fun while we can, come back later.” Jimin laid it out and that just made you more curious what might happen later.

“I did have one thing planned though.” Jimin said and turned around so he was facing you.

You stared at him wondering what he meant when suddenly he reached his hand out.

“I wanted to make your wish come true.” He smiled at you.

You were about to ask what wish but it hit you just before it could leave your lips. Under the tree, your wish about walking down the street holding hands, being able to introduce him as your boyfriend.

You felt your face heat up at the thought, and despite being a little dazed at the thought, your hand still made its way into his and he quickly pulled you along to begin your journey.

Oh what might this day bring?

⊱ ────── {⋅. ✯ .⋅} ────── ⊰

When you both made it to busier streets part of you feared you would get tons of stares because you were the crazy person holding hands with an imaginary person beside you. People did look and there was this fear deep down that was the reason, but then you started to hear their whispers.

“He’s so freaking handsome.” These two teenage girls wearing school uniforms said a little too loudly as they passed you.

“Do you think he’s an idol?”

“No, I don't recognize him.”

“An actor?”

“I don’t think so.”

“He’s so pretty…” One of them sighed.

“Is that his girlfriend?” Some guy said to his friend.

“They’re holding hands, what do you think?”

“I honestly don’t know who I’m more jealous of…” Another guy said before his friends started laughing at him as he stared at you both.

“They make such a pleasing couple.” This older lady smiled at you two as she walked with her husband and you nearly started crying right there on the spot.

One of your concerns this weekend was that you really had lost your mind and your “encounters” with Jimin were all in your head. But they could see him too, they could see this beautiful person right next to you.

You gripped his hand tight because it really was a bit unreal that Jimin was here with you. You would be more than jealous if you were one of the people passing by.

With that reassurance you had no idea what today might bring you. When you got ready earlier you had no idea this outing was going to be a date, but you couldn’t be more glad that it was as Jimin held your hand tightly as you walked through the streets of Seoul. 

You turned into enjoying the stares, their whispers, you felt proud.

You both didn’t do much at first, instead focusing on spending time with each other out here in the real world. The real world, it was a strange thing to say. Your dreams had oftentimes felt very real, too real at times and now it all made sense… kinda. 

You did a bit of sightseeing, stopping occasionally to take pictures— another shocking discovery, he showed up in them— he was really here. While Jimin pointed out the different landmarks you were more busy observing him.

You paid more attention to the way he ran his fingers through his sandy blonde hair, a habit you noticed beforehand but you couldn’t help but be entrapped in the way the perfectly styled strands grew more disorganized as the day went on. You noticed the cute way he laughed at your jokes or silly faces, it was very boyish and suited him well. You noticed tiny freckles you only could see when he pulled you close by mistake, you knew it was a mistake in the way he’d immediately panic whenever your faces somehow grew only inches away. You noticed the way his eyes would smile back at you whenever he’d laugh or smile too hard, which seemed to happen quite often, he was a very smiley person just like in your dreams. 

There were oftentimes moments when you’d completely forget about the weekend or the fact Jimin was an angel, literally, not figuratively though, you would forever consider him an angel after he carried you on his back up a hill when you complained your feet were hurting slightly. 

Sometimes you completely tricked yourself into thinking Jimin was your boyfriend, he was human, and this was just another amazing date that you both were sharing. It was easy to forget at times and you couldn’t help but wonder occasionally if he was doing that on purpose or was this just the way he was?

You both did nothing and everything at the same time, mainly a lot of walking around but Jimin and you did stop once for a late lunch. It was a small family owned restaurant that you pulled Jimin to because he just had to try. You knew the staff there as well as you frequented here whenever you didn’t feel like cooking.

As soon as you walked in the mom who worked here immediately turned to you both with a shocked expression on her face. 

You both took a seat at one of the tables and steadily the whole family started to make their way through the restaurant, not at all subtly eyeing you both. 

You couldn’t help but giggle along with Jimin as you pointed it out. They had also been someone you confided in after your breakup and the mom especially had been trying to set you up with some of the customers who’d pass through in hopes of rekindling your want for a relationship but you affirmed that you were done. 

This was certainly a major shock for you to come here with someone other than Mina, and a guy at that, you know you’d hear about it the next time you came alone. 

The daughter who helped run this place came over to ask what you both wanted— you both decided bibimbap— but afterward she just had to ask that burning question.

“Y/n! Who—“ She eyed Jimin and turned back to you. This was even less subtle than you were expecting. 

You laughed but hurriedly shooed her away because you thought about it for a second and technically right now you both weren’t labeled yet and that would just create this whole awkward situation you didn’t want to be in. 

The meal was nice though, it always was. 

You had ordered quickly but when they brought your food you had a sudden moment of realization wondering if angels eat or not. 

“No we don’t— at least not for the same reasons, but I can still enjoy it.” He smiled at you before picking up his chopsticks. You watched quizzically because you were still curious how it worked. You were shocked… reassured… disappointed? You weren’t sure how you felt as you saw him eat like anyone else, but his face as he took his first bite made you smile.

You got a double thumbs up!

You weren’t sure exactly when you both had left, you had gotten ready and immediately went for the door to really check the time, then Jimin kept you busy, but you both were still out as the sun started to go down. It hadn’t quite yet set, but the summer sun had finally started to cool and the beginning of the pretty colors started to fill the sky. 

It truly had been hours, you knew it had, but it hardly felt like it with him by your side. You honestly never wanted this day to end. 

Your last stop was a bench that overlooked the Han River. Jimin had suddenly pulled you over to sit down and immediately you felt how achey you were from all the walking you were doing today. You wondered if Jimin knew or—

“I did, you seemed like you needed a break— plus the view was great. Perfect to have a talk at.” He suddenly mentioned with a slight smile. At first you had no idea what he was talking about– what talk? But as he took off his sunglasses (you had nearly growled when he put them on– he looked so good) and ran his hands through his hair you started to come back down to reality. 

You had wanted to talk anyway, Jimin had done a great job of distracting you but now it was time to face the massive elephant in the room. 

“I hope today was nice for you.” Jimin said as he stared out to the river. 

“It was– who knew you were so great at dates.” You chuckled as you kicked your feet underneath you. Part of you didn’t want to talk about this, the other half finally wanted to get some answers, both from Jimin and yourself. 

Jimin laughed along and that made you happy.

“I know you have questions and–” He took a deep breath “I thought a lot about it and… I hope you know I prioritize you and your happiness. I really want to be with you but I hate the thought that I scare you in any way. I’ll try and answer as much as I can about myself personally, but I can’t tell you about… you know.” 

You got the picture and you couldn’t agree more. One of the reasons you were having such a nice time was in the fact that Jimin made it easy for you to forget about the fact he is an angel, but alone you still worried how you might feel about him.

Everything needs to be on the table.

Silence passed for a little while as you thought about what you wanted to ask him. 

“How long have we known each other?” Out of all the questions running through your head for some reason that was the one that stood out.

“By technicality I’ve been here since you were watching your clock turn to 2:37am on your 20th birthday– you were crying because adulthood terrified you and how you would do anything just to turn back time.” Jimin smiled at that but you knew he saw your face.

For some reason that gave you chills. You remembered that day, the birthday blues had just slapped you in the face and you had cried while you waited to officially turn twenty. It just dawned on you that now you were truly an adult and those years of your childhood were gone. It was strange and maybe you had too much to drink (courtesy of your roommate at the time) so maybe you were a bit dramatic— 

It was easy to say that now but you were away from your family, off at college in your second year and suddenly it just hit you that you were getting older and there was nothing you could do to turn back time. Then you thought about your dad…

It was also still funny, you had been crying in your bed cuddling a wine bottle as you waited for 2:37– you probably could only hear incoherent mumbling and sobs if you walked in the door. You were lucky your roommate passed out after giving you the wine or you might have given her enough content to haunt you for a lifetime.

Of all days that wouldn’t have been the first one you picked.

“I didn’t think it was funny— imagine my trauma when the first thing I see of the human I’m meant to look after is crying holding a wine bottle thinking about some seriously depressing shit at the start of their birthday.” He cheesed and you lightly pushed him.

“Has it really been that long though since you’ve known me?” You asked seriously. “I mean that’s been 5 years ago at this point.” 

Jimin just nodded.

The next question then. “When did you know?” A very vague question but one instance you were glad he was in your head so you didn’t need to elaborate.

“I don’t know… It just kinda hit me I guess.” 

Part of you thought that that was all you were going to get but this time he had more to say.

“Maybe— I think it could have been before we even met.” He suddenly said and you finally had to turn to him wondering what he met.

“I remember seeing your picture for the first time and—“ He smiled. “You were really pretty, my whole team thought you were, but I never could have predicted the feelings you would give me when I got here.”

Jimin liked to think that if things were different, if you all would meet they’d really like you. He knew they would.

You were busy trying to process that information because what did he just say?!

“I don’t think there was ever a date it started or a moment. As I watched over you I started to realize how much I enjoyed being around you— even though you couldn’t see me just watching you be a person— you made me feel all fluttery inside— I never felt that before. Your laugh, your smile, such meaningless actions but they always made me feel like I could fly around the universe fifteen times.” And he wasn’t exaggerating, your little actions have him enough energy to do the most outrageous tasks. 

Your face was flushed but Jimin continued.

“You don’t understand how long I wanted you to look at me. I was always by your side but your eyes would stare right through me and I just had to watch—“ Jimin felt himself get all tense at the memory.

“I don’t know when it started and I tried to deny it for a while because I was scared— like I told you before I’m not made for this. My human interaction is supposed to be limited until after my human dies— I’m really not supposed to be here. I’ve broken a lot of rules to be with you like this and even now… I’m still scared because the emotions I feel are not natural but I want to keep seeing you— being here with you. I got a taste and now I never want to leave.” Jimin tried his best to control his emotions knowing how strange things can get if he loses it, but he just wanted to cry into your arms if he could.

“I also don’t want to be scared of me— I never ever— you’re my priority— keeping you safe is my job but you mean more to me than you probably could comprehend.” He shakily laughed but for that to have been a thought that ran through your head…

“I’m sorry…” You couldn’t even look at him.

“No it was my fault though— I shouldn’t have reacted like that. You’re human, you're not used to things like this so I understand how it might have been too much.” Jimin apologized.

“Being with me is a huge ask… we couldn’t exactly live a normal life and I’ll struggle sometimes, but I hope to also create days like this more often than not. I want to make you as happy as you make me.” When presented like this Jimin for a second doubted if this was the right thing to do.

The last thing he ever wanted to do was hurt you in any way and on this path that outcome seemed inevitable. But he wanted you— you were his, he’d figure this out.

“Can you answer this for me then?” You suddenly said.

Jimin sat up straight ready to answer anything you wanted to know, anything to convince you to be with him.

“Why’d you start visiting me in my dreams?” It was a question that made his blood run cold because he knew he would have to tell you about that.

“The simple initial answer was I believed it to be a way to meet you without breaking too many rules— but I know what you’re going to ask if I finish there.” Jimin knew exactly what you were thinking without being in your head.

Why? He never really answered it, at least in the way he knew you wanted.

“To answer that I’m going to need to confess something.”

You looked at him wide eyed wondering what he was about to say.

“Under the tree, that day, that wasn’t the first time we met.” For a second it didn’t even register what he said. “And then on Saturday that wasn’t the first time I met you here on this plane.” Then it just got worse.

What was he talking about?

“The reason all of this started. I probably never would have disobeyed my orders if you hadn’t looked back at me first.” Jimin looked over at you as the words started to settle into your brain.

“Wait… so you’re telling me we met before like this? Here?!” It sounded outrageous as you said it out loud. You surely would have remembered meeting him before, how could you forget meeting an angel?

“You don’t remember. I made you not remember.” Jimin turned back toward the view.

“Why— why would you do that?” You questioned, baffled that he would do that to you. 

“Was it just like what happened with some of our dates?” You hastily followed up with.

It only happened during the first few ones. Jimin was so hellbent in making you like him anytime things would go left he would start things over— he didn’t see the harm in it at first especially because you wouldn’t remember at the end of the day. It took a little time for him to understand what he was essentially doing— forcing you to like him almost.

It went from the simple, preventing you from remembering the traumatizing sight of his punishment to maybe there was a joke you didn’t laugh at and he didn’t want you to think he wasn’t funny so he’d start over. It was an abuse of power, he knew that now. 

“Slightly, but the reasoning was different. I was trying to correct a mistake, but I don’t want to lie to you if we’re going to do this.” Jimin turned back to you.

Your eyes were watery as you stared at him, you didn’t know why but the thought of this whole weekend not being your first encounter— you wanted to know, no, needed to know what happened.

Suddenly you felt a hand on your cheek making you turn toward Jimin.

You stared into his warm eyes as he peered into your own, his eyes were sad yet sympathetic. You felt his thumb gently rub across your cheeks and it was only then did you realize you were crying and he was wiping away your tears. 

“You don’t remember me?” Jimin asked so softly.

“You had just come out of the shower to watch Vincenzo and then you heard a bang. It was me. We spent a whole week together just you and me while I recovered— I was really sick and you helped me through it. I liked you beforehand but when you looked at me when I opened my eyes I just knew I never wanted you to look away. It was exhilarating, a rush, a warmth that I had never known. I didn’t ever want to leave but I had to— we were about to play monopoly, remember? I got told off for the situation because I didn’t report it in the way that I should, I left out some important details. I tried to have things go back to normal but I couldn’t after what happened— I got a taste of what we could have and that was enough. It was why I started seeing you in your dreams, hoping that would be enough but… I guess I’m too greedy.” Jimin never once broke eye contact as he looked into your eyes, the tears never stopped because you were starting to remember.

You remembered the crash, you remembered the shower, you remembered Jimin suddenly appearing in your living room, you remembered being terrified even then but you hid it away because of how sick he was, you remember that week you spent together, you remembered that game of monopoly you were about to play but suddenly you were sick and you thought you were delusional for starting a game by yourself. It came back to you all in a rush as he spoke.

How could you forget this?

“What about now? Do you remember me now?” Jimin asked softly once again, his hand on your cheek so gentle as always.

“Jimin…” You nearly sobbed.

Your eyes scanned over the angel in front of you and it was almost hard to recognize him. This couldn’t be the same angel who was stammering just to ask for a kiss on your cheek, it wasn’t just that either, he just seemed different— thinking about it now he was different than how you met under the tree.

So shy, timid almost— and now…

“You think?” Jimin suddenly questioned, in your head like always. He looked down before back at you.

“Jimin it’s just— wow— it’s really you.” You couldn’t get out your thoughts, you were too focused on trying not to just completely break down here in public.

You honestly couldn’t figure out how to react. Were you angry at him for taking your memories, no, no you couldn’t find it in yourself to feel that knowing he was just operating under orders. Were you upset he kept it from you this long? No, that wasn’t it. Were you happy to see him, to remember the time you shared? Some of the pieces that you couldn’t make sense of started to become clearer. 

You were happy to see him, you were happy he decided to keep visiting you, and you were even happier seeing him in front of you like this now. 

“You really think I’m differe—“ Before Jimin could ask again, suddenly you pulled him into your arms because you just had to hug him at this point.

You knew you surprised him but you heard his cute little giggle before he wrapped his arms around you. You wrapped your arms tighter because you just didn’t want to let him go, you never did, not again not ever.

You knew Jimin must have heard that in the way his grip grew tighter as well.

You buried yourself further into his warmth, enjoying the way he still smelled like the beautiful flowers in the meadow you both used to meet at. You felt safe, protected, and in some weird way loved. 

Jimin went through so much just for the chance to see you again and you couldn’t be more grateful.

“You were worth it and I’d do it again in a heartbeat.” He didn’t have one but you got the point. Jimin knew what you were about to think and he didn’t want you to go there. You were worth it and you would always be.

Jimin held onto you tightly but he could feel you shaking slightly.

“Don’t cry…” He pulled you even closer and lifted one of his hands to gently stroke your hair to help calm you down.

“I’m not crying— the— the sun’s just in my eyes…” You sniffled out, but you knew you couldn’t lie to him. 

“It’s ok, cry. It’s good to cry.” Jimin smiled.

And this just made you want to cry harder. You tried to pull yourself together but it took some time because there were just too many emotions swirling around in your head. And then with Jimin softly rubbing your back— oh you were at a breaking point.

The only thing that really helped you start to dry your eyes was the promise you made to yourself to cry about it properly when you got back home. 

At home felt right.

When Jimin noticed your sniffling growing quieter he finally pulled back to look at you. Your watery eyes stared up at him and he cursed quietly to himself.

“I want to kiss you.” He smiled out with pink cheeks as he continued to help dry your cheeks.

You couldn’t help but laugh at that.

“When I look like a mess?” You chuckled as you started to wipe your eyes. Your eyes were now red and even though you didn’t put much makeup on, you could bet it was ruined by now. You certainly looked better before you sat down then now.

Jimin nodded. “I’ve wanted to for days, you have no idea.” His eyes flickered down and you felt your heart skip a beat.

Part of you thought he was just making a joke to get you to smile again, but realizing he was being serious…

Oh.

“Can I kiss you?” He asked again.

You felt your face flush. “We’re in public…”

“And?”

“And? There’s people right behind us—“ You briefly looked over to the sidewalk.

“Annnddd?” He pouted.

Oh he was too cute.

“How about this— one on the cheek right now and then when we make it back home we can do a little more.” Jimin wanted to think you were just referring to a proper kiss, but he was in your mind to know you kept it open ended for a reason.

This is just going to—

Stop. Not now. Just stop.

Jimin smiled before leaning down and fulfilling your request— it was just a quick peck on the cheek but it made you both just want more. His soft lips against your cheek made you tempted to pull him over so he could really kiss you.

This was nice, really really nice. 

Jimin and you both got up and started making your way back to your apartment. Instead of walking the whole way back, you both decided on the easier method of taking the subway.

You cuddled up next to him and as you passed the stops and people boarded and left you could hear more whispers and they all made you smile. 

Hand in hand you walked back to your place which luckily wasn’t too far from the stop, just a few blocks and you were finally back where this whole journey started. 

“Soooo—“ Before you could even finish, suddenly your back was against the door as Jimin pulled you close and kissed you. 

You were shocked for only a second but as his hands came up to gently cup your cheeks you practically melted in his hands. His lips always gave you that electric feeling, it was more than butterflies, it was like a tornado of kittens was all snuggling you in the softest, cutest, fluffiest hug.

It felt like this was exactly where you were meant to be, you knew it, this was right.

You wrapped your arms around his neck and started running your hands through his hair, so soft and just perfect like he is. 

The kiss picked up in intensity, you were trying to be conscious of the fact you still were in public technically but you wanted him and it just got worse the longer you kept going. 

You were almost making out at the way he let your tongue tease and explore before Jimin was back in control and you were just at his mercy. You felt him press you harder into the door as his hand went down and gently stroked at your sides, lightly playing with the netted fabric of your dress.

You wanted him to take you right here against the door, rip off your dress, and have his way with you— the bed felt too far, you were so hot you could feel the wetness growing in your panties and you wanted more than anything for him to come and fix the mess he made.

You quickly pulled away and trailed kisses from his cheek up to his ear. 

“Jimin…” You nearly moaned when you felt his grip on your waist tighten.

Suddenly you felt him dive for your neck, lightly sucking right where you wanted him to.

“You’re— you’re mine, right?” He hurriedly asked.

You pulled him up so you could look him in the eyes. “I always was.” You made sure to say it clearly so he understood. You were and always will be. 

You noticed his eyebrows furrow before he whimpered and buried himself in your shoulder, holding you tight.

“You’re making it impossible for me to leave.” He whined. He didn’t want to leave but he had to at this point.

It took a second for that to register, too busy wondering how you both were going to somehow make it to the bedroom. 

“Leave?” You finally questioned.

“Yeah— uh, yeah— I have work stuff I need to do.” You could feel it. He was shaking.

He wanted to fuck you so bad and he was doing everything in his power to control himself.

“Oh…” You seemed disappointed. You were, it felt like your night together had just begun. You wanted more time.

“I’m sorry…”  He sighed, his voice barely over a whisper.

“It’s alright— we did spend most of the day together. I’m not surprised you have things. I imagine being an angel is a lot of work.” You tried to smile but you didn’t want to say goodbye.

“When will you come back?” You asked as you wrapped your arms around him to pull him into a hug.

“I’ll try and be back tomorrow. It takes a lot of energy to come down here and back though. I can’t promise I’ll be here everyday but I’ll come as often as I can.” You pulled him out of your shoulder to give him a quick peck on his cheek. 

Jimin had to stop himself from taking it all back and getting you inside as soon as possible. He had to control himself.

“I have work tomorrow but we can hang out when I get back.” You mentioned and he nodded in your grasp.

And with that he finally pulled away, all the way this time. You were about to turn around to punch in the code for your door, but Jimin reached past you and easily opened the door. 

At first you were concerned your lock was broken but when you turned to Jimin you noticed his smile.

Ahhh, what having an angel in your life could do~

“Goodnight!” You smiled at him and he waved as you closed the door behind you. 

Jimin looked at and sighed now that he was alone. He really wanted to come with you but that was great in the fact he was able to have some control over himself and not completely fall into temptation (despite how much he wanted to).

It was a step in the right direction in his path to salvation, a life with you where his promise is kept intact. No sin, he will get past this.

But he really did miss you.

He wasn’t lying when he said work stuff but it wasn’t like it was urgent. Jimin had been monitoring still and luckily the sins seemed to be quiet today, not much activity besides this morning before he met you.

It was a good day, and finally, he truly felt like you were his.

⊱ ────── {⋅. ✯ .⋅} ────── ⊰

Jimin surprised you and met you in the morning before work. It wasn’t planned but after all the walking yesterday it was enough to knock you out to the point you didn’t hear your alarm go off five times in a row. 

Jimin was there and he decided to help you up. Him being the angel that he is, Jimin stopped your alarm and gently shook you awake. He was so gentle and it was like the sun itself had shrunk itself to be human sized and this warm glow of sunshine woke you up.

It was just perfect.

He also helped you get ready, fixing your lunch for you and getting your work bag together while you showered and got dressed. In the end, by the time you were heading out the door, it was about the time you normally would leave thanks to Jimin’s help. 

He even decided to ride with you in your car on the way to work because you complained about needing to leave him. In the end you got an extra twenty minutes together while you sat in your car singing along to the songs on your playlist. 

It was a level of domesticity you hadn’t known since you left your ex and even then he didn’t compare in any way to Jimin. At the time you thought your break up was the worst thing in the world but maybe that hurt then was what you needed to endure in order to be by Jimin’s side. 

When you arrived you hurried out but not after giving him a quick kiss on the cheek with the promise of seeing each other later. 

You just expected to head in but coincidently, or maybe not so, you saw Mina waiting outside the building. 

“Hey?” You called out to her, wondering why she was just standing here.

She turned to you and let out a sigh of relief before running over and hugging you. “Ok you’re alright, I can breathe now.” 

It took you a minute to figure out what she was talking about until you remembered what you texted her yesterday.

“I told you I was ok~” You chuckled but hugged her back tightly. 

“You never know, I may watch too much true crime but I just had to make sure.” She mumbled into your shirt. Ahhh, you love this woman so much. What would you do without her?

“So~ What happened this weekend—“ She hurried out as she hastily pulled away. You were about to tell her it was a little hard to explain when you heard quick footsteps approaching.

“Oh good, you’re ok….” You heard a sigh and finally turned to find him.

It was Jin-Sang.

He looked like he just ran a marathon.

“What do you mean?” You questioned.

“Your texts— just wanted to make sure you were ok.” He smiled bashfully.

“You both thought something was up?” You signaled between Jin-Sang and Mina.

“You never know these days— I’ve seen way too much true crime to just—“ Woah. It’s almost like you’ve had this talk before.

“But glad to see you’re ok.” Jin-Sang felt reassured. He’d honestly been very worried about you.

“Y/n was actually just about to explain what happened.” Mina said, looking back at you.

Jin-Sang noticed you hesitated. “That is, only if you’re comfortable.” He added, not wanting to pressure you into a confession.

“It was a pretty crazy weekend but you, especially Jin-Sang, deserve to know.” You looked over at him. He was still thinking there was a next time after all…

They both looked at you intrigued at what you were about to say.

“Part of the reason I hesitated when you asked me out last week, Jin-Sang, was that I wasn’t exactly single.” You paused for a second when you noticed his face change.

“But it was a relationship I thought wouldn’t go anywhere— we had our fun but we couldn’t be together in the way that I wanted. It wasn’t going anywhere and we knew that, it’s why I didn’t say no either. We even talked about it when I got home and we broke up and everything believing that to be the end of our journey and this was our sign to move on.” You were watching Jin-Sang intently even though you were talking to both him and Mina. 

“That day I had been getting ready for our date, I had been on the phone with Mina and had my outfit picked and everything— I was honestly really excited but just a few hours before we were supposed to meet, I got a knock at the door—”

“It was him wasn’t it…” Jin-Sang finished with a sad smile.

You nodded.

You felt bad, you truly did.

“He said the date made him realize how much he wanted our relationship to work so he’s visiting me now, but he plans on moving closer so we can be together. It was the only issue with our relationship and we spent the weekend and Monday just talking to see if this was the best path to go on and…” You smiled at the thought. Some of it was certainly lies but it was close enough to the truth you felt satisfied.

You saw Mina’s mouth drop at your story and Jin-Sang just had this sad yet sweet expression on his face.

“Ahhh I should have known.” He sighed but never once stopped smiling. “You’re so amazing I’m not surprised someone already beat me to it…” 

Oh.

He was really trying to pull at your heartstrings. You felt bad, really really really bad.

You were about to say something when suddenly you thought you heard someone call out your name. You turned wondering where that came from.

“Y/n!” You heard it again a little more clearly this time and now you could see where it was coming from. There he was, the angel that had been your entire weekend.

It was Jimin and he was jogging over to where you all were standing, holding something in his hand. 

He’d somehow changed from the time you left him in the car. 

He’d switched to an entire black ensemble, it was simple yet so effective. A black short sleeve shirt tucked into black pants with a fancy belt wrapped around his waist. He’d thrown on a black beanie and had these sexy black sunglasses on and the closer he got you could see the pretty silver jewelry he added— a necklace, bracelets of both arms, rings, and his fancy cross earrings decorating his ears. 

The tattoos on his arms were on full display. And this close with his arms exposed you could make out what they were slightly. You were only able to make out one to clear enough detail— it read ‘WRATH’ in dark, inky black letters...?

Interesting.

It was like you were watching him run in slow motion over to you, maybe you lost it, but it was like something out of a drama at how gorgeous he looked. 

You were tempted to start barking right here because aro? Alpha?

You were surprised you didn’t start drooling and you were too entranced to realize he was holding your water bottle.

As he came closer you started to notice the stares of your coworkers and whisper more good things because look at him. How could they not?

“Jimin?” You finally questioned. 

He smiled at you when he stopped by your side. “Hey beautiful.” He pulled you close and gently kissed your forehead.

Oh.

“You forgot your water in the car and came to bring it to you.” You finally noticed it in his hands and you were about to look in your bag confused, because you were so sure you put it in there, but maybe not if he had it.

You took it from his hands and put it in your bag.

“Must have missed this somehow… Thank you~” You smiled at him.

“Ahem…” It was Mina and that was when you realized they were still standing behind you. 

You turned back around and their faces, especially Mina’s, were oddly amusing. You felt proud. 

“Guys this is Jimin, my…?” In a second you realized you never discussed the specifics of the labels or your relationship.

Jimin seemed to pick up on this.

“I’m her boyfriend, nice to meet you both.” Jimin flashed you one of those enchanting smiles before turning back to Mina and Jin-Sang. 

Oh— yep, yep oh boy.

You tried to pull yourself together.

“Uh— this is Mina.” You motioned toward your friend. 

Jimin smiled before bowing. “Y/n talked about you a lot, it’s nice to finally meet you.”

She shyly laughed before bowing back. 

You turned to Jin-Sang and you realized this was a bit awkward considering the talk you just were having. “And this is Jin-Sang.”

There was a second where they made eye contact. Jimin was slightly shorter than Jin-Sang was, only a few centimeters at most, but it was enough where he had to slightly look up at him. 

You had no idea what you were watching and for a second you were worried someone, someone would say something that would cause this whole big thing. You were reassured when Jimin gave him a smile and bowed too, it was slightly less than what he did with Mina, not by much, but you noticed.

“Nice to meet you.” 

Jin-Sang bowed back. “Likewise.”

Crisis averted it seems.

Jimin looked back at you before taking off his beanie, revealing his sandy blonde hair once again and started running his hand through it. You could have moaned, oh what was this man doing to you? 

At the workplace at that!

Just wait till you get home later…

“Alright, I’ll see you at home.” He smiled at you before putting his beanie back on. 

“See you then~” You cheesed before he started walking away. For a second you wondered how he planned on getting back, but you remembered this was an angel you were dealing with.

You turned back to the two who were standing behind you. 

“I’m sorry guys—“

“No need to apologize. You seem happy and that’s all I care about. Wish the best for you two.” He tried to smile but you could see the sadness in his eyes.

Jin-Sang said a speedy goodbye before heading into the building. 

You still felt bad, maybe even worse though but you were happy he understood. You feared telling him all morning, but he really seemed sweet. 

With Jin-Sang gone, that left you and Mina.

“Y/n you’re gonna have to tell me everything and I mean everything.” She said quietly as she guided you both inside. 

“Like what?”

“Everything, like does he drive a motorcycle?” 

“Huh?”

“He looked like he would— my gosh, he is so hot, how could you never tell me about him?! And was it me or was he literally glowing?!— Where did you find him? On the set of some drama or something? I need the details!”

The lunch was amazing by the way, as expected of your angel.

previous chapter « main masterlist ✩ series masterlist » 2024!

VIOLET INTERLUDE | MYG | Part 1

❝Take it from someone who has seen drivers come and go. You'll never know your last ride.❞

❝Who says I'm here for the last ride?❞

TWO SHOT SERIES

Summary: Cars. They're all you wanted to be surrounded by. Working your way up - you worked to get to an advisory chief engineer for sports cars by the age of 23. You were determined to one day ride in those same cars you fixed. You had no intention of distractions by the drivers on the race course.

Pairing: Formula 1 Racer!Yoongi x Fem!Reader

Chapter Warnings: workplace violence (yn gets hit), swearing, smartass!reader, slight anxiety attack, mutual pining, flirting, car accident.

Word Count: 7k

MINORS DNI - 18+

Tuesday

The distant sounds of footsteps echoed throughout the brightened luxury shed. Your body lied underneath a 5 ton beast - built in with the intensity you'd only ever see on that race course. You felt the grease and sweat stick to your skin as you fixed a problem underneath the exhaust valve. Your eyes peered upwards from your laying position - to the engine oil as it dropped into the bucked you'd placed underneath - these cars… were so powerful - but required so much TLC.

You coughed as you smelt the gas from the exhaust - this particular car had issues, always backfiring - so here you were, underneath the beast - trying to dismantle the valves and replacing them with new ones. You couldn't imagine how expensive these car pieces were for the new Porsche GT3 - but this one had a run-in with unexpected problems.

Such a shame. It was a beauty to be wrecked with. But you knew how to look after cars, after all, it was all you were good at.

"Ahem -" You felt someone lightly kick your leg - forcing you to stop what you were doing and roll out underneath the car. Your eyes adjusted for a moment, squinting to the LEDs in the expensive car garage. Your face scrunched up, slowly softened as you relaxed, "Oh, Gerimiah, what are you doing here?" His eyes raked your own, following them as you sat up from your position.

Gerimiah was one of the Formula drivers. Not the greatest, personality-wise, but that didn't matter for whoever he was representing - he was a damn good race car driver. The 28-year-old huffed in annoyance, before crossing his arms. "When is the Porsche going to be ready?" He asks, looking at the multi-sponsored stickers placed around the car, before returning his eyes to your own. "I'll need it for the race in 3 days. It still needs to be test driven."

You grinned at him. His eyebrows raised at your facial expression. "No worries, Geri," You lifted yourself off the seat you had been on all afternoon - trying to fix his Porsche that he kept ruining, with his reckless race driving. "Be ready for ya when I finish it." You looked at the watch on your wrist, tapping it slightly for it to turn on. "Gotta be another six hours on this one. The timing chain is off too - maybe bring it in as soon as you experience these issues, rather than waiting for you to backfire mid race."

This man had no intuitive, no experience with how long it can take to fix cars. And lastly, no respect for the car. No respect for a car, and the car will retaliate. You couldn't blame them - they were their own beings - especially cars like this.

Gerimiah scowled in response to your own - kicking across your car tools. He stepped closer to you, leaning in - God, his breath stank like shit. "Listen here, yn," He mumbled, his lips curled upwards as he spoke. "I don't appreciate the disrespect - if it wasn't for racers like me, you'd have no job." He placed his hand to your shoulder, your head turned to his hand, before looking back at him with a nonchalant expression.

You raised an eyebrow, tilting your head, before flicking his hand off yourself. "Who are you to tell me if I haven't got a job? A little engine told me.. One more mistake for you.. and you're scrapped from next season." You turned around, leaning down to put your scattered tools away.

"Who told you that?" His voice rasped out. You could practically feel his nerves. It was amusing - what a highly egotistical man, for his calibre. You turned around, a small smirk etched your features, "I'm a car engineer, I hear everything here.." You placed the last tool in your toolbox before looking back at him. "I even heard a new racer might be joining your ranks - better be careful.." You wiped the grease off your hands, before leaning on the Porsche. "He might take this baby off your hands." You traced the bumper of the car momentarily before looking back at him.

Take it from a woman like you to… tease - no, taunt… that's a better word for whatever you were doing. Sometimes what you said was wrong, sometimes what you said was right, but men like Gerimiah… yeah they couldn't take it. As you blinked, you notably found yourself pushed against the bumper - a sharp pain etched and pierced your cheek.

You moved your hand up to your cheek, be it shock, your mouth gaped at the audacity of the man in front of you. His eyes pierced your face - as his own lip quivered in nerves. You stayed silent for a moment - realising he had just hit you. It seemed as if he himself hadn't realised what he had done.

"D-Don't talk shit yn.." His face flushed up, clear from his own anxiety - and from that he paused, his breath rigid. "Don't talk about shit you don't know." With that, and no time for you to respond, he fled the garage - you, shocked at what happened. You stood beside the car, musing in thoughts, as you looked down at your dented tool box.

You instantly picked up a spanner, throwing it at the nearest wall. "God, that fucker.. I could just -" You rambled to yourself, as you clenched your still greasy hands. You paused next to the car, contemplating.

Don't fix the timing chain - let him lose. He won't continue to be a race car driver. Tamper it.

What type of spastic hits a woman?

Put unleaded instead of the-

"Yn! Are you there?"

Your eyes manoeuvred around the garage - your thoughts interrupted by another voice. This time, you're thankful it wasn't Gerimiah returning… Oh he's such a shit cunt.

Two hands gripped your shoulders as they turned you around. Jimin. Thank God… You sighed as you met his own eyes.

You smiled sheepishly. You were thankful to see his pretty face.

Jimin was another Formula 1 Racer, albeit, a consequently far better one at that. His fans adored him. You'd consider yourself one - if he wasn't your friend already. But who says you couldn't be fans of your own friends.

Jimin cooked his head to the side, almost observingly. His eyebrows narrowed in on your face before he reached for your cheek. "What the fuck happened to your face?" His question left you unguarded - you forgot about the pain until his cooler hand reached for it.

You scoffed, rolling your eyes as he pressed you for information. "It's alright, Mini - I'm alright.. Just the spanner dropped on my face." You spoke nonchalantly, feeling your own cheek - well aware there was potentially a prominent bruise already developing on your cheek.

Jimin listened to your response before scoffing to himself. He rested a hand on the Porsche - as he ran his other through his blonde hair. "The spanner is next to the wall - meaning you threw it." He glared at you, before moving to pick it up. He reached for the tool, picking it up - before walking back to you.

He placed the tool in your tool box, before he sucked in a breath. "There's also an identifiable hand print on your face - and I watched Gerimiah rush out of here with a guilty look on his face."

You chewed on your bottom lip, out of habit, you licked your lips before humming, "It's fine.. like I said - I'll be alright. You know I'll get him back." You tried winking at him, however your eye flinched and you winced at the sting that only now had actually began spreading across your left cheek.

Jimin grumbled something to himself, his mind in deep thought before he grabbed your hand, pulling you to the first-aid box. You assumed he was grabbing a cold pack out - probably to help with that throbbing feeling you now felt on your face.

You sat down on one of the couches in the employee lounge. The garage was an extension of a circuit - linked into the business rooms - showrooms. The whole place itself was built for the race cars. Each sector had a different car - different team, so forth. The garage was sent through any car, for every problem. The only problem - some racers thought they owned the place.

"I'm just going to report him to the federation board. He does that with everyone," Jimin opened the first aid box, scrummaging around before finding the cold pack. "He's an asshole. Not just to people, but in the races - the amount of times he's tried to run me off the circuit… Yeah, he's not fun to be around." Jimin mumbled to you, his hand squeezed the cold pack - activating it's properties, before he crouched down to the height of where you were sitting.

Jimin carefully examined your cheek, tracing the main bruise lightly - before placing the cold pack on your face. He motioned for you to take it from his hands - as you did, he spoke once more."You're just as important as us racers. Without you, we have no cars to drive. What's a racer without their mechanics, their car engineers?"

You smiled at his words. Jimin was always good with his words - he knew exactly what to say and how to say it. You, on the other hand, were more temperamental - you spoke without thought. That often got you into these types of situations. Not that Gerimiah didn't deserve a good retaliation - you were sure you'd eventually get your revenge. It would be self-defence after all.

You just weren't as kind-hearted as Park Jimin. No one was.

Thursday

A loud sound rang through your early morning coffee time. You slugged your way to your phone as the pot in your kitchen heated up, picking up your phone you looked absently at the bright screen momentarily.

Wane Hill (Boss)

Your eyes widened as you woke up slightly, noticing the call from your boss. You tapped the green button emulating on your phone, accepting the call. You wondered for a second why he was calling. One thought was the incident that happened on Tuesday. Was it really possible that Jimin had actually told him about what happened?

"Hi boss, how're you doing?" You spoke slowly, bringing the phone up to your ear. You watched your pot click finish as you poured the hot water from it in a mug with your other hand.

"Yn. Good news and bad news. Which one do you want to hear first?" His voice rang in your ear as you prepared your morning coffee. You didn't need to be in the garage until a little later today. You were thankful for the multitude of mechanics that were scattered around - besides, it wasn't really your job to fix cars - you simply did them for fun. Your job was a little more important than just a mechanic. So was your pay grade.

"Uh. Good, sir." You chewed your bottom lip in suspense. You really couldn't be bothered hearing the bad news, especially first thing in the morning. You absentmindedly opened a kitchen draw, picking up a small teaspoon.

"Good news? We got a new racer. Min Yoongi. He's one of the best upcoming and new racers in the industry. He will be driving for Porsche - so he's driving the 911 Porsche GT3 you fixed the other day, today. Bad news? Gerimiah is gone…" Your boss stopped speaking for a moment, as you took in the news. By then you had already finished stirring your coffee - had time to actually sip it.

You hummed to yourself. Thankfully you didn't tweak the car, and fixed it properly…

"Huh. Really? What's the reasoning?" You coughed slightly from your hot coffee. You had a feeling the reasoning wasn't his driving, but something a little more closer to your incident on Tuesday.

"I think you know, Yn. I heard about the incident from one of our other industry drivers. That type of behaviour isn't okay in this industry.. So he was let go. Yn. Let me know next time these things happen. I know you're stubborn - but talk to me, next time." You hummed in response, as you drank down your morning coffee. You internally grinned at hearing this. Thankfully you didn't have to resort to your own karma - karma did its own work.

"Got it, sir. Anything else?" You, by now, finished your coffee - putting the cup absent-mindedly in your sink - filling it with water before leaving it there for you to do later. You had to start getting ready for work.

"Yeah. One more thing. Get your ass in here and meet the new driver. Show him the car, introduce him to the crew." With that, your boss hung up and you placed your phone back on the counter. This was going to be a big day.

You closed your car door firmly as you clenched your car keys. You turned for a moment as you pressed the lock on your keys, making sure your car did so. As it did, you heard it's small, short-lived 'beep' to let you know it did.

You made your way to the car park elevator, pressing the '^' button on the side. As you waited patiently for the elevator, you tucked your car keys in your bag and grabbed your water bottle. By the time you had done so, the elevator reached your level.

You hopped inside the flashy elevator, pressing the floor you needed to be on. You weren't in the garage so much today. Mainly with board members, racers and sponsors. That made you slightly nervous - having to introduce new racers was always something you despised. You had watched at least several dozen times, the same thing goes.

You introduce a racer to the board members, the sponsors - the racer fails to comply with rules later on, or isn't as good as they hoped. They kick the bucket, then let them go. Simple as that.

Your eyes fixed themselves on the doors opening, as you walked out the elevator. You needed to figure out where the racer you were introducing was. Not in the mood for this part of the job.

"Yn. Over here." You were just about to head to reception when you're called over. You turned your head, halting your movements. You spotted Wane, your boss, standing next to someone who had their back turned to you, speaking to someone beside them.

You walked over to your boss, not before sneaking a sip on your water as you closed the lid. You chucked the water bottle back in your bag, as you met a good distance from your boss. You shook his hand, professionally. "Sir. How are you this morning?"

Your tone radiated professionalism. You weren't here to make mistakes, or get distracted. You were here to win the game - to be chief executive engineer. Counted, that role was more than further away from now. You were only 23, after all.

Your eyes met his own wrinkled ones, observing them as he began speaking. "Yn. I'd like to formally introduce you to our new race car driver." You turned your head, facing the suited up driver. You couldn't see his face as he had been speaking to a board member behind him.

Wane tapped him on the shoulder, and you watched intently as he stopped speaking to the person, nodding before bowing slightly. The new driver turned back around, now facing you.

You almost held your breath as his face tilted to your direction. His wavy hair looked to be almost floating the way it volumised on him. His features were no different - if you could, you'd say he looked feline-like. To say the least, he was beautiful.

His lip curled slightly as he looked your way. It seemed as if he were doing almost the same thing as you had been to him. The way you noticed his own eyes - the way they creased slightly at you. "Yn." You left the driver's intense gaze, as you turned your head to face your boss'. "This is the new driver I was telling you about this morning." Wane spoke as he gestured to the man in front of you. Huh… New driver. "Yn. This is Min Yoongi." Your eyes met Yoongi's, once more, as he extended his hand.

"Yoongi. This is our finest car engineer, Yn. Have a problem with your car, speak to her first - before you go to just any mechanic." Wanes' voice vaguely faded out as you raised your own hand, shaking Yoongi's. His hand slightly gripped yours, tighter than you, as you bowed your head in respect.

Your eyes lifted off your hand, as you let go of his own. Back up to his eyes, you observed his face. Lip curled, ever so slightly - furrowed in brows, almost as if he was concentrating on something. You had a guess who that might’ve been. He tilted his head down slightly, "Finest car engineer?" Yoongi's eyes creased slightly, however, you couldn't help but smile sheepishly back.

You lip sucked into your mouth, chewing on it; your habit picked up again. He continued to gaze at you as he spoke. "I'll be sure to go to Yn here for all my car problems - should they arise. I'm sure she'll be able to help out with anything, right?" Yoongi's eyes left yours, as he looked back at your boss.

You watched quietly as your boss nodded vigorously. "Absolutely! There's nothing that Yn can't do." God. Now you're embarrassed. He's making you out to be a big shot. Your eyes danced between the two, as you stood there. What do you even say? Thank you?

"Uh. Thanks, Boss." You coughed out, awkwardly standing there for a moment as you clutched one hand on your bag. You looked behind the two, now noticing the other board member going into the meeting room.

"Shall we go in now?" You turned the attention elsewhere as you gestured a hand behind Yoongi. You had a feeling this meeting was going to be long.

Six hours. Six fucking hours, did that meeting take.

You bowed to the last executive board members as you bid them all farewell. You sighed, after beginning to pick up all the excess paperwork you'd been given. New contracts, intellectual properties, signatures, NDAs. The boring but important information. You shoved the thick stapled papers into your bag as you closed up the board meeting room.

You dangled your keys in your hand for a moment, as you glanced at the keychain on them. You zoned off into them for a moment. That feeling you get when you're aware of your surroundings, but you're just blankly staring at something. Daydreaming.

"Can't be that good of a keychain, can it?" A voice interjected your thoughts, causing you to stop what you were doing. You shook your head, remembering where you were - however, noticing your new Porsche team driver, relaxing, sitting on one of the executive leather seats; his phone swung around clockwise between his index finger and thumb.

You scoffed lowly, your eyes trailing from his fingers, back up to his face. He had a tired expression plastered on his face - you could definitely see he was restless from the six hour-long meeting you both had just endured. Yoongi grasped his phone firmly before shoving it in his suit pocket.

His eyes met your own now, as he lazily ran his fingers through his hair. You stared for a few moments before checking the time on your watch: 8:47pm. You looked back up from your watch as you felt your throat constricting from nerves, "What are you still doing here? Don't you have a race tomorrow? Go home." You pestered him as he rubbed his arm.

A small, but definitely mighty - lazy smirk formed on the edges of his mouth, filling you with a unique feeling. "Aren't you supposed to show me my car? Test drive it with me.?" He questioned, lifting himself off the seat. As he did, you could almost hear the surroundings sound of the leather returning back to its original form.

"I'm tired. Let's do it tomorrow morning." You began as you pushed your keys in your pocket - alongside your hand. You moved your body from the board meeting door, now almost itching to leave.

You couldn't help yourself. This man was quite almost the most stunning man you'd ever seen in your life. But you promised yourself no distractions. Certainly not from any Formula 1 race car drivers.

A hand gripped your forearm almost too quickly - as you attempted to leave, manoeuvring around Yoongi. "Hey. Wait." He murmured, loosening his hand from your arm. You barely noticed your flinch from his fast reflexes, but he surely did. Your body unconsciously must've thought he may have gone in to hit you.

Pfffttt. You internally scoffed. As if he would. Your eyes found his own. Goddamnit. Thanks Gerimiah.

"Fine. But make this quick. I haven't got all night." You rushed. Shrugging the remaining touch of Yoongi off your arm. You puffed out a breath as you walked away from Yoongi - almost exhaling loudly.

"So you're telling me the last driver, Jeremy -"

"No I said Gerimia -" You corrected, shaking your head to Yoongi as you finally sat in the passenger seat of the Porsche. You looked away for a second buckling yourself in.

"I don't care what his name is. You're telling me that guy slapped you because you had to fix the timing chain in this car. Something that obviously takes time - and he couldn't bring it to you earlier?" His eyes flickered between your eyes, a disgusted look etched upon his face.

You almost found it cute. No.

You ignored the subconscious thoughts itching your brain as you spoke with him. You opened the glove box hastily - tearing your eyes from his own, as you picked up the spare key for the car. "Yeah…" You trailed off. "So take it from someone who has seen dozens of drivers come and go," you said nonchalantly as you placed the key in his hands. "You never know when you'll have your last ride."

His face spoke more than you thought he even realised. He gripped the key, before placing it in the ignition. You almost found, by observation, that he often never spoke directly to your face - be it a sense of eye contact he disliked, or perhaps a sense of anxiety. Even just meeting him today, you could already tell he was like this. You'd say he was an open book.. but open books tend to flicker their pages from time to time. They never stayed in one spot.

He turned the car on - a loud roar echoed throughout the garage as he did. You hadn't test driven it yet - so you hoped the timing chain actually worked this time.

"Be careful with her, she's still a work in progress." You murmured, your hands caressed the console- the light smell of leather fuelling your senses. "This one has a tendency to backfire."

You turned your head from the console, as you heard Yoongi chuckle. "Treat a car well, and it'll treat you well in return." He coaxed, almost entranced by the car itself. His fingers wrapped themselves around the wheel. "Don't worry, Yn, I'm a great driver."

His eyes met yours momentarily before moving one of his hands to the gear shifts, reversing the car back. You felt the small buzz of the engine as you reversed out the garage - moving towards the small test driving circuit.

"Remember, take it easy -" You rambled as your arms crossed. "I'm not in those suits you drivers are in - I don't think I'll be able to handle going too fast." These cars were beasts, like you always had said. The horsepower, most people would underestimate. You hoped Yoongi would not underestimate this car.

You watched as Yoongi rolled his tongue in his mouth before quickly taking a glance at you. You raised your eyebrow as he smirked. You found him to be almost taunting you slightly - as he revved the acceleration - shifting into sixth gear.

You gasped slightly at the pressure - your back going further into your seat. "Yoongi.." You warned - feeling your head spin slightly from the corners. He, however, began to chuckle - before slowing himself down, even just a fraction - it still made a huge difference.

"Relax, Yn. I'm just playing," he hushed you, as one of his hands steered the car - the other blatantly resting on the gear shift. "I'm aware you don't have protective gear on.. so don't worry your little mind - I won't hurt you."

Him shushing you had made you want to respond - your mouth gaped slightly, wanting to say something. You decided against it. Seeing no use to speak of other miscellaneous things, if not about work.

Your mind drifted off, as you continued to observe the car. As Yoongi drove, there was not once a feeling of misfiring pistons, or engine backfiring. In fact, you would have to agree, Yoongi was, in fact, a great driver.

After approximately an hour of test driving the car, you both ended back up at the garage. As Yoongi turned the car off - you spoke up softly. "I've got to say. I'm a little impressed." You watched Yoongi as a smirk formed on his face. "No - no." You reprimanded, holding your hand up before continuing, "I'm impressed the car didn't backfire. Mainly impressed on myself.. don't get your hopes up."

Yoongi chuckled at your response as you slightly shrunk back into your seat. Of course his laugh had to be attractive. No. No.

His eyes gleamed a sense of playfulness as he raised a singular eyebrow back at you."Oh. The car? The car impressed you.? You impressed yourself?" He tilted his head, a fraction of his hair dropped into his face frame - as he leaned a little closer. "Hmm. Are you sure about that?" He hummed, his tongue grazed the front section of his lips.

You gulped. Get out. Abort. Where's that confidence? Yn. Head in mindless thoughts you scrunched your face up as a response to his comments. The two of you locked eyes for several seconds. That was when you began to become fidgety, you had never been like this with anyone. Ever.

"Alright. I'm tired - I'm outta here." You spluttered out, swiftly taking the keys from Yoongi's open hand - shoving them in the glove box. You broke eye contact as you opened the car door, only for your hand to be caught by a certain person's hand. "Slow down, little racer.." He dimly began, his voice lowering a small octave. You looked anywhere but into his eyes. "Look at me, little racer."

You couldn't help but look into those eyes, once more. His features softened from the gazed expression he had just moments ago. "I was only teasing. I'm sorry if you didn't like that." Yoongi murmured, his hand absently still holding your own. You felt something stir in your own body as he apologised.

Unaware his thumb had been slightly caressing the outside of your hand. You felt something fluttering settle within your body - and it almost made you dizzy. Your body - half out of the car, half in - sat absent of any emotion. You never really liked showing much. Especially at work. You didn't need to. You worked with cars, people? Not so much.

You blinked slowly before you lightly shook your head at him. "No. It's fine." You muttered lowly, eyes connected with him. "I'm just tired. Boss had me up at the crack of dawn to make sure you had everything for the meeting this afternoon. He's not joking when he says I do everything. I really do."

Yoongi chewed his lip, before moving his hand from yours, to his throat - scratching it slightly. "No. I get that. No stress.." He moved his body in the seat for a second, squirming - you almost thought he was nervous - only to exhale a short-lived laugh. "You'll be up at the crack of dawn again for me tomorrow. Won't you?" Yoongi smirked, causing you to huff in annoyance.

You shook your head at him, as you took the rest of your body out of the car. You closed the door, watching as Yoongi swiftly took himself out of the car, his head popped over the roof - "Wane gave me your number, I'll be in contact."

You feigned a look of disgust - as you turned away from him, walking towards the set of elevators near the garage. You shouted slightly as you pushed the elevators button. "No thanks. Prefer if you don't."

D - 1 Race Day

The echo of cars, as they zoomed past the pits, always excited you. You could never think of anything else that pushed adrenaline so rast through you. The crowd cheering, engines roaring. You could almost imagine yourself in the seats of one. You wanted to race at least once in your life. Even if it were at the lower levels. You didn't care any less.

Your laminated AAA lanyard swished back and forth on your chest as you walked closer to the Porsche sector pits. You were a little nervous, but adamant about Yoongi racing in the race today. You had never seen him race, not once, and you were unsure how he even became a race car driver. You didn't even know about him until he got here.

A drift of wind blew your hair in all directions as you glanced up at the sky. The grey-ish clouds cut short the light that the sun emitted into the atmosphere. You furrowed your eyebrows as you began noticing the wind pick up. It felt like the weather today wouldn't be too nice. You even picked up an extra jacket, just in case you got cold.

You figured it'd be safer than sorry. The weather was usually unpredictable. Especially where this race was.

"Yn, over here!" Your boss yelled out from several metres away. You turned your body - spotting him with a headset on. You both wore Porsche race team suits - the kind the pits usually had. You jogged over to where he stood, not before noticing Yoongi had already left for the race.

You vaguely watched as he bowed slightly to someone before popping himself inside the car. His helmet was already on his head as his car began to steer to the starting line. You turned your head back to your boss - as you were handed a headset. You mumbled a quiet 'thank you' as you placed it on your head.

"Nervous about our new drivers' first race?" You spoke nonchalantly to your Wane. His eyebrow raised a proportion, as his lips pierced in thought. "I took him for a test drive last night - after the meeting. He wasn't too bad - you know. He's pretty good."

Wane smiled almost in accomplishment. You knew what you said had probably given him more confidence in Yoongi. Although, you hadn't actually seen him in a race. This was his first one. That slightly gave you some nerves as you were unsure of his skills on the course.

"That's fantastic to hear! I'm looking forward to seeing his race." Wane pressed the comms button on the control panel, activating the link to Yoongi and anyone connected on headsets. You included.

"Yoongi. How are you feeling? Fit inside the car alright?" You overheard Wane speaking to Yoongi through the headset. Your body shook slightly due to the chilled air around you, as you pushed some of your hair from your face. God, you hated this weather.

"Perfect, sir. I'm all good to go." His raspy voice echoed into your headset as a fragment of static cut his voice off slightly. "Is Yn here today?" Your face turned to Wane's as you scrunched up your face slightly.

Why was he asking for you?

You pressed on your microphone, pulling it down to your lips. "I'm here, Yoongi. Do well today, and I'll personally buy you a drink. Champagne is only for winners." Wane tilted your head as you spoke - smiling slightly at your answer to your new team driver.

You heard a slight chuckle bounce in your ears, making your body shiver in response; that or the temperature had just dropped around you. You took your jacket from the chair it lay on, pulling it around you. Instantly you felt much warmer than before. "I'll hold you to that, little racer." You almost forgot you could hear him for a second - as you rugged yourself closer to the jacket. You hummed slightly in response, before lifting your mic back up - switching yours to mute.

You watched the monitors in front of you as the race began to start. You anxiously nibbled on your bottom lip, watching as each race car sped up from the starting line. You noticed Yoongi's car alongside Jimin's McLaren - you really hoped he wasn't a dirty player.

But to your own unconsidered anxieties - he wasn't a dirty player. In fact, you watched as he cleanly overtook Jimin's position in 3rd place. You could only imagine the look on Jimin's face at the moment. He might even have competition now.

You hadn't realised last night, but you did now. Yoongi was more than a great driver, in fact, he was great. But that didn't mean anything until he won this race. You watched aimlessly as the racers did several laps, over the duration of a few hours.

Yoongi held his third place position for a solid third of the race. It was when the final lap had come up - was when things changed. You noticed his tires looked overused - this made you anxious about his race.

"Yoongi. Can you hear me?" You spoke, after pulling down your comms to him. You really hoped the tires could withstand the last lap, but they looked to be in poor condition. If he couldn’t pit stop - there was a chance these tires would give way and ruin his chance at securing a spot on the podium.

"Yoongi get to the pit and change those tires - you're not gonna make it." You repeated in his ear. You heard Yoongi speaking from the other side of the comms - as you heard a slight roar from his engine.

"Can't do that, it's the last lap - I need to make this worth it."

"Yoongi, you won't make it. Those tires are done for." You pushed, locking eyes with his car, on the monitors in front of you. You watched intensely as they all neared the finish line. Your heart raced as they came up to the final kilometres, and you stressed slightly as Yoongi hadn't responded to your last comment.

You gripped your clipboard and jacket as Yoongi pushed his car - the last four-hundred metres approaching. His car slowly began smoking, and that's when you stressed he'll flatline and lose his place in the race.

Three-Hundred.. His car smoked worse.

Two-Hundred.. You gripped the clipboard tighter. His car slowed slightly.

One-Hundred.. You inhaled sharply, leaning closer to the monitor. "Yoongi.." You murmured, nibbling your lower lip in suspense. You noticed a fragment of flames which caused your heart to stop - you thought you might collapse at the anxiety of this finale.

You watched intensely as Yoongi's car zoomed past the end of the finish line in third place, meaning he would stand that podium.. Meaning you owed him a drink. You exhaled as he began slowing his car down. However, luck wasn’t bestowed upon the third place driver too much as you noticed his car engine stutter - coughing a black smog of gas.

"Oh my God. Yoongi your -" Your mic cut out as the car halted swiftly - you guessed he pulled the break - however you watched at the front of the car erupted in flames. You gasped - shaking as you watched emergency vehicles rush to the scene, safety cars, etc. It was all happening too soon.

You forgot your headset, as you ripped it from your head. You turned from your position near the pits - running towards the race course. You dropped your clipboard on the pit's floor, ignoring the yells from the pit for you to come back.

After a few minutes, you made it to where the safety crew, medics and rest of the fire-fighters were. There were people crowding - mainly the ones getting the fire out. You gasped as you watched Yoongi hopping out of the vehicle - a stuttering swing as he ripped his helmet off his head.

His face, drenched in sweat - he wobbled as he coughed from the smoke. You gasped as you saw his outfit, stained in black from the car's heat, the flames, where he had almost been burnt. Had it not been for his protective gear - God knows what would have happened.

You rushed over to him - alongside the medics, who brought medical gear. "Yoongi!" You quavered slightly, as his eyes met your own. You rushed to his aid, grabbing hold of him. "You idiot! Look what happened, look what almost happened to you."

Yoongi's infamous lazy smirk etched along his slightly dirty face as your hand took his arm - pulling it over your shoulder. "But it didn't.. and I won a spot on the podium.." He whispered in your ear, causing a shiver to fold down your back. Not the time, place or moment to be having this feeling.

You inched your head away from him when you felt his nose brushed your cheek. You began walking forwards, away from the ruined Porsche - towards the medic bay. He needed to be treated - for smoke inhalation, anything, he needed to be checked up.

"Yoongi, this is serious. You could have gotten seriously injured." You yelped, as his hand gripped your hand. You turned to face him as you wobbled the both of you closer to the med bay. "What then?"

Yoongi coughed as he exhaled a breathy laugh. "You worried about me, little racer?" He leaned closer, causing you to flinch slightly from the proximity. His dark brown eyes glazed into your own - kicking a feeling into your stomach. "Don't worry. You still owe me a drink."

You huffed, as he continued to tease your reaction. Yoongi inhaled sharply as you released him, lying on the medical stretcher - immediately surrounded by paramedics. You exhaled in relief as you propped yourself on a seat next to him. You thanked the medic who kindly offered you water - perhaps it was the deep breathing that made them think you were parched. In reality, you were freaking out slightly.

You warned him. He didn't listen. Now look at him. What an idiot. You watched as he pushed himself up slightly from the stretcher - eyeing his movements. "Better not take back anything you said about buying me a drink - it's the only thing I'm looking forward to."

You rolled your eyes in annoyance. "What makes you think you deserve it now?" You then unscrewed the bottle cap on your water - taking a few sips from it before putting its lid back on.

The medics continued to check his medical stat's, blood pressure and oxygen levels as he spoke to you. You wished for a moment for him to go to sleep. He was so… agitating. "Ooh, going back on promises - doesn't that leave you with a bad reputation, little racer." He cooed from the inside of his oxygen mask, shaking his index finger from side to side - almost tauntingly.

You tutted, running your hands through your hair; you shook it, before pulling your hair up with a hair tie. You couldn't understand him. "I think all that smoke inhalation is getting to you. Now shut up before I injure you." You stood up, as you felt your phone ring from your back pocket.

You looked at Yoongi once more before leaving him for the medics to deal with.

His first race and he's already trying to dismantle his car. You wondered just how much stubbornness and determination he had - it seemed as if whatever he wanted he got. You hoped he wouldn't continue to behave that reckless on the race circuit in his upcoming races; it would do him no good if he hurt himself.

Like you said to him before. You've seen drivers come and go - you never know your last ride.

Do not blame me for who I am. The doctor prescribed me 20 mL of #seokjin angst twice a day.