I'm Not A Loyal User Of Anything So All My Corporate Yearly Wrap-up Widgets Are Like

I'm not a loyal user of anything so all my corporate yearly wrap-up widgets are like

WOW!

You streamed (6) hits this year!

You made so many (0) new friends!

You spent a whopping (1.15) on (toothbrush) Way to flex!

Heres to another year of YOU!

Dog meal or da bob fo today?

Argument: I do not wish to sleep when tum hurt very bad.

Counterpoint: Tum and all else will hurt more in the morning. In the wee hours. At work.

Conclusion: Future me can just deal with her own problems.

Update:it suuuuucked but payday is soon. Mmmmm

Might start referring to hip-hop as "hop music" and see how far that takes me.

We're spending too much energy developing brain chips for browsing twitter and far too little developing a way to print a gif on a sweater.

"burn the heretics!" I say as I throw tofu dogs on the grill.

I am not allowed at parties anymore.