Knowing When Not To Speak

Knowing when not to speak

When i was in 3rd grade, a friend of mine, my neighbor, was doing the old "finger eyes" asian mocking thing while saying "ching chong wai!" at another student on the bus. after we got off the bus, i told him that doing that was kind of racist (i wasn't as confident about speaking as i am now).

He told me it wasn't. He was italian.

that is my first memory of a white person telling me something isn't racist when i brought it up. It was not the last. here i am, over 30 years later, and folks are still saying it.

It is because he had never experienced racism of that nature before. he had no reference points. his radar wasn't up for that.

Mine was. Most PoC have had their radar up their entire lives. Since even before they knew what that was. it comes naturally.

it is frustrating because when white americans want to but in with their opinions, PoC generally say, "your opinion doesn't matter."

but i want to be clear. It isn't because you are white.

It is because you lack the experience or education to speak on these things.

Like if i met a white person who grew up in korea, and faced xenophobia in korea, then they would have some experience. Hell, my brothers and i faced some of that racism in korea just for being mixed koreans. But if a white person had that experience, then they could have a nuanced opinion on subtle racism.

However, and i cannot stress this enough, there is a limit to what you have experience with even in that situation.

Take me for example. I have experienced racism due to being hispanic, being asian, and for being mixed race. So i can speak to my experience on all three of those vectors and subtle racism in general.

You know what i don't shove down other people's throats? My opinion on racism that black people experience. Or anti-semetism. because even my experience does not reach those topics. I'm not white. So you cannot blame whiteness for my exclusion from having my opinion listened to. It is because of my lack of experience.

so please, excluding white, inexperienced voices when we discuss racism is not, in an of itself, racism. it is simply a judgement call based on experience.

So please, know when you SHOULD NOT speak.