My Heart Aches

my heart aches

love is just a word - the shorts

read the whole series here!!

maranello; winter of 2020

memories, memories, and more memories

boxes on top of boxes, on top of more boxes in a not so big apartment just fifteen minutes away from the ferrari factory. carlos was squeezing past some of the stacks, trying to avoid toppling them over; while isa was in the kitchen washing away at the sink.

this was home for the next two years.

he's pulling out random stuff from these unlabelled boxes - a result of last minute packing and the lack of organisation - and he's stumbled upon the one he wanted to avoid the most. the box from madrid. the one that he had tucked at the back of his closet for the last two years. it was more battered than the others that had survived the plane and truck ride here from the uk, but carlos never paid much attention to its state, not to mention the familiar handwriting on the side of the box.

castaña's

he had hoped that it would be his clothes, or a couple of his helmets, or knick knacks he shoved into a box haphazardly; but no, the moment he lifted the lids, he spotted his old race suit, then an old helmet and a lump formed in his throat. the dark green hues and your number '25'. the last time you raced at a professional level, and your last helmet exchange with him. a picture frame peeks out from underneath the countless trophies.

"oh what's this!" isa picks up one of the trophies sticking out of the box, holding it in her hands and squinting at the words. he pushes the old race suit further into the box, effectively covering the picture frame from anyone's sight.

"that was a trophy, from formula three." he tells isa, wrapping his arms around her. he remembers the moment like it was yesterday.

-

"carlitos! you did it, you did it!" you're jumping up and down in the paddock, excitement pumping through your veins. carlos runs over to hug you, spinning you round and round again. the both of you were practically glowing under the sunlight.

this was his first formula three podium. the same week you were on the podium with his father for your second dakar race. it felt like an absolute dream come true. you walk hand in hand with him through the paddocks, the media having a good field day with the pictures. you both arrive back in his drivers room, a bag sitting on the table.

"what's this?" carlos asks, running his fingers over the bag. he knew it held a helmet, but he already had his in his hand, so he was puzzled as to who's it was. you gesture for him to open it, and when he pulls the zipper, he notices your iconic dark green stripes. he takes the helmet out, and it sides were covered with white ink.

to my chilli:

i'm so proud of how far we've come. i'm so proud of you. can't wait for our future together. i love you.

-castaña

a scrawly heart was drawn next to the message. this was the helmet you won the race in. carlos was grinning from ear to ear, holding the helmet in his hand like a baby.

"you like?"

"i love."

-

while he was in his trance, walking down memory lane, isa had already lined up the few trophies along the shelves. but he stopped her as she reaches for another one, close to the helmet, the frame, and a lot of other memories.

"i'll do the rest, mi amor. you should take a rest."

"i'll get dinner started then," she pecks him on the cheek, smiling sweetly at him. he takes the helmet from the box, placing it next to the trophy, the side with the note facing the wall.

then he pulls the picture frame up. just as he remembered. it was you, and him, perched on a bench each holding the trophy and helmet. he was smiling widely at the camera, while you had your lips pressed to his cheeks.

his fingers run over your face in the picture, and he holds the frame tightly to his body before putting it back with the box, storing it with all the other memories of you.

taglist: @primadonnasdream ​ @chicadelapartamento512-blog @thebagginsofbaggend @starlightoctavia @d0ntjudgemy50shades @cowspew @justthatgirlxox @ggaslyp1 @fromthedeskofjoii @lorenakaspersen @words-4u @o0itsjustme0o @ambrosialilly @totowolfff @dr3lover @gulsolsikke @enjoymyloves @rmaddenns @care2703 @katcontrreras @tattered-tales @duruxoxo @ccloaned

sleeping on the highway tonight 🤠🤠

until next time

a/n: loosely based on sex (with my ex) by fletcher. talks about breakups, silly season, DR leaving mclaren. enjoy!!

masterlist here!

-

new york

daniel shouldn't be here.

he should be in yosemite, enjoying the tranquility of his summer break according to his plan. but no, he's standing in the arrival hall of JFK airport after a twelve hour flight from MTC, waiting for his uber ride to pull up.

guess life doesn't always go to plan.

the uber driver tries to make small talk with him, quick questions of "where are you from?" and "what do you do for a living?" to which daniel replies with a low hum, or a completely unrelated answer, forcing the rest of the forty minute drive to be silent.

the car drops him off in a quiet neighbourhood, just outside of an apartment building, and he pulls his luggage out of the trunk, mumbling a thanks to the driver.

he rolls his bags into the all too familiar lobby, and nothing has changed, other than the type of flowers that sit on the decorative table by the elevator.

"mr ricciardo? i thought i'd never see you again!" the doorman chirps when he walks through the doors. daniel gives him a small smile, "nice to see you too, steve."

"is ms y/l/n expecting you? or is this a surprise i shouldn't ruin?" the older man looks at him with mischievous eyes. daniel's smile falters just a little, his heart sinking to his stomach. but he couldn't blame steve, surprises like these came often six months ago.

just that right now, this wasn't a surprise. he adjusts the neck of his hoodie - a nervous tick he acquired in the last couple of weeks, "is she home?"

steve grins at him obliviously, "yes she is, just got back from the store a couple of hours ago."

daniel makes his way up to the 20th floor, turning right and down the corridor to the last door. the tacky carpets, cream coloured walls he used to pin her against after a night out. that neighbour with a bright red front door. all the memories of a three year relationship flooding back to him.

he finally gets to her apartment - 204; and musters up some courage, knocking on the door lightly.

its moments after that the door swings open, and she's standing in front of him.

"danny?" the nickname slips out easily from her lips. she sticks her head out and looks behind him, trying to make sure this wasn't a joke.

"wha- what are you doing here?" she asks.

"i came to see you." the sound of a melody comes from the inside of the house before it stops. and a tall man comes up from behind her.

"y/n, is everything alri- oh." she turns to the man, resting her hand on his forearm,

"i think we should wrap up today."

he nods understandingly, "yeah, i'll grab my stuff. see you on wednesday?" she mumbles a response, hugging him before he leaves. all while daniel stood in the entry way of her apartment awkwardly. she gestures to him, and he slips off his shoes, following behind her like its the first time he's ever stepped foot into this house.

-

we don't gotta talk about us, how we messed it up we could keep it light, just a conversation no expectation

"oatmilk latte?" she asks, already clearing the old pods from her Nespresso.

"would it kill to have a beer?" daniel replies. she looks at him with raised brows, but still pulls out two cans of beers and slides one across the table to him.

"it's 5pm somewhere."

and they fall into an easy conversation. she knows she should address the elephant in the room - about why he's here, why he came to look for her without warning. but one drink turns into three, and they're both sitting on the sofa, her legs draped over his. his favourite caamp album playing on the record player he bought her for their first anniversary.

"was that your new boyfriend?" daniel asks.

she narrows her eyes, a look of confusion on her face,

"who?- oh brock?" she chuckles, "no, he's my new producer, we were writing for the new album."

he just nods, one of his hands running up and down her shin. she shifts in her seat, so she can lay her head on his shoulder. daniel kisses the top of her head, and she looks up at him.

his brown eyes, soft lips, golden skin. she didn't realise, but her head was moving nearer to his. until both their lips touch, hands wandering to familiar territories - for the first time in six months.

-

I just had sex with my ex in a New York apartment I thought it'd be harmless

sunlight streams into her room.

she wakes up, his side empty. she sighs, this shouldn't be a surprise, but of course there's a hint of disappointment in her. then the door to her room opens, and daniel stands there with two cups of coffees in his hand. he gives one to her which she gladly accepts, and he slips into his side.

she takes a sip of coffee, sitting up in bed.

"why are you here, danny?"

time to address the elephant in the room.

he sets his mug down on the bedside table that once belonged to him, "i'm here for us."

she scoffs, placing the mug down in her lap.

"danny, 'us' no longer exists, we've talked about this."

the same tranquility and comfort he felt from the night before suddenly disappeared. and he knows she's right. they've had this conversation before, they've had these moments before. twice, to be exact.

"i know." he sighs. her finger runs along the rim of the mug,

"so really, why are you here?"

he looks at her, some sort of sadness washing over his face, and there's a concerned look in her eyes. she hasn't seen this look on him before, not even after the worst race of his life. it spelt heartbreak, defeat, pain. she turns to him, looking at him with all seriousness. but daniel avoids her gaze. for a moment, he thinks he can't form the words.

"i'm leaving mclaren at the end of the year." he manages to mumble.

her world stops. she's of course kept up with silly season, the news about alonso, seb and piastri, but she never thought of the rumours to be true. especially not this one.

she holds his hand in hers, squeezing it. her eyes softening, "i'm sorry."

"don't be, it was bound to happen." he tells her defeatedly.

she doesn't have the words to say after, just nodding and gulping down the rest of her drink.

daniel gets up to change after his morning coffee, and so does y/n. they go about their normal routines, as if nothing changed over the last three years. she stands in the kitchen when he emerges from the room, spreading butter and vegemite on his toast, on the plate is a side of cucumbers and tomatoes, as well as perfectly scrambled eggs.

she remembers.

"of course i remember." she turns to smile at him. he didn't realise he'd been thinking out loud, smiling embarrassingly as he snakes his arm around her waist.

he kisses the top of her head from behind, "thank you for letting me stay, y/n."

she doesn't respond, just handing him his plate. and they eat in silence, though there's a question looming in her head.

gotta catch my flight, but I want more time gimme one more night to be wrapped up in you

"when do you leave?"

"my flight is at 8." he bites into the perfectly crisp toast. her eyes meet his, a little sparkle behind it.

"can i drive you to the airport?" he looks at her with raised brows. he knows how much she hated driving in new york traffic, to jfk in particular.

"in new york traffic?"

she grins playfully, "in new york traffic."

-

they arrive at the airport an hour early thanks to the unpredictability of new york traffic. daniel pulls his luggage out of the trunk when she parks, and to his surprise, she gets out of the car and walks with him. she's dressed in one of his unreleased merch, and so is daniel, as they walk hand-in-hand to the check in counter.

it's a short, undisturbed walk, and when they arrive, he turns to face her.

she looked beautiful even under the bright white lights of the airport that made everything look pale. he took her sight in, knowing how this was about to end. knowing that this was the last time, even if they haven't spoken about it. daniel knew he had to let her go. he rests his hands on either side of her arms.

"thank you again, y/n."

she smiles softly, but doesn't say anything back. daniel engulfs her in one of his hugs, and they take in as much as they can of each other.

for the last time.

she takes in a breath, her lips just brushing his ear lobe, causing goosebumps to rise on his skin as she whispered,

"goodbye, danny."

So we kiss goodnight and I catch that flight Say goodbye forever until next time

taglist:@primadonnasdream @dr3lover @chicadelapartamento512-blog @thebagginsofbaggend @starlightoctavia @d0ntjudgemy50shades @cowspew @justthatgirlxox @ggaslyp1 @fromthedeskofjoii @lorenakaspersen @words-4u @o0itsjustme0o @ambrosialilly @totowolfff @gulsolsikke @enjoymyloves @rmaddens @care2703 @katcontrreras @tattered-tales @luvrboygaslys @piceous21​ @shristi-jaluka @kyomihann @sgkophie @jpotterdilf @guardians-ofthe-lastyoungkilljoy @idkiwantchocolatee @monte-carlando @bigdiccricc @organasith @anthonykatebridgerton @icecoldtires

natalie pinkham i fuckin love u for this

aaaah, i can’t believe this is soon going to an end 😭😭

love is just a word - 8

a/n: my god… this is the second last chapter you guys…it has been a rIDE and i cant believe i’ve pulled through with such a piece. anyway, i hope you like this part (especially for those that have been rooting for a certain team that starts with P…) we’re near the end! like i always say - love, comments and lots of screaming are much appreciated <3 enjoy this one!

read all other parts here!

Brooklyn, New York

Bright lights, big city. That’s how you would always describe New York, Pierre recalls. 

Bustling streets filled with cars and humans rushing from one place to another, walking around him like he was some sort of obstacle in the middle of the sidewalk. Pierre doesn’t know how he ended up here - with his carry-on and a backpack, in a place that was completely foreign to him. 

You never got the chance to take him here in between races and travelling. It was always race location, Milan or Monaco. He wonders if things would’ve been different if you did. He wonders if either of your perspectives would change. 

A million possibilities and scenarios of the “what ifs” run through his mind. Now’s not the time, Pierre. He’s shaking himself out of a daze, or was it jet lag? He can’t really tell. But he starts walking, hopefully in the right direction, courtesy of a kind local. 

“Montgomery street is down that way, turn left when you see Joe’s bakery." 

His phone rings for the 100th time in less than 24 hours.

Keep reading

So did she actually attend?

Bc you posted their conversation and pe!reader was at home hahahha

How did the fans react?

she attended! i imagine her wearing something that is sooooo simple because she always likes to wear simple dresses to sort of blend in? and not divert the attention from chris and the rest of the cast of any movie premiere she attends. like i imagine her with this look (dress, hair, jewelry) so she matched with chris:

(idk how i feel about her wearing sneakers now but you’re free to imagine whatever)

everybody lost it when she arrived with chris because nobody was expecting her.

chris had his arm around her all the time, and even though his eyes were covered by the sunglasses, you could still see the care and worry on his face every now and then and catch him asking her “are you okay?”

he had his hand on her bump for so many pictures, and he kept kissing her cheek so frequently. everybody was going crazy over how good they looked together and how pe!reader was glowing.

they stopped for a few interviews and of course, every journalist and reporter just wasn’t prepared to interview her but every single one knew how it was basically a sacred opportunity to get to interview y/n y/l/n-evans AND chris together, and add to that the fact that she was also pregnant! literally a golden opportunity for everyone.

“let’s ignore the fact that i’m shaking,” one interviewer laughed nervously as she clutched her mic the moment pe!reader and chris approached.

“awww, no,” pe!reader cooed, reaching out to place her hand on the interviewer’s arm, “you’re doing great. you look great, too.”

“she does that to people, right? she does that,” chris joked, nodding, “i get it. you know, she does it—she does it to me, too.”

“stop iiit,” pe!reader laughed.

“alright i need to do this before i get fired,” the interviewer joked.

“if anybody fires you, they’re going to have to get through me,” pe!reader raised an eyebrow, joking along.

“alright wow, my career is protected by y/n y/l/n-evans,” the interviewer laughed, “the question is, how did you both feel about chris’s mustache time coming to an end?”

chris burst out laughing, looking at his wife, “she was happy, she was really happy.”

with a nod, pe!reader nodded, “look,” she held a hand out, “he always looks good, right? he can’t possibly ever look bad, i mean, look at him,” she placed her hand on chris’s chest, “but the mustache? it had to go.”

“that’s a bold statement right there,” the interviewer joked, “y/n wasn’t a fan of the chris stache.”

pe!reader laughed and gave a shrug, “i’m of chris, stache or not.”

“awwwww,” chris cooed, wrapping his arms around his wife, “that’s so sweet. that’s so sweet.”

“i’m going to cry,” the interviewer laughed, “how is the pregnancy going?”

“oh, it’s going,” pe!reader nodded with a laugh, putting her hand over chris’s on her bump, “it’s definitely going.”

“she’s doing so well,” chris smiled lovingly, looking at his wife.

“and chris is doing well, too, like, when he’s not inspecting my every move,” pe!reader squinted her eyes, “like, watching every move.”

“aw, come on, come on!” chris laughed, giving the interviewer a sheepish shrug, “i worry!”

“he still lives up to the overprotective reputation,” the interviewer said.

“oh definitely,” pe!reader nodded with a laugh, looking at chris, “but i’m not complaining,” she said, laughing when chris gave her a look, “alright, maybe—maybe just a little.”

the fans obviously went crazy over her being there; those who were there and online.

pe!reader enjoyed fan interactions the most so during any premiere, you’d find her waving to the fans all the time when she wasn’t physically talking with them.

at one point during the premiere though, pe!reader turned her back to the cameras, put her hands on chris’s neck as she leaned closer to his ear, “your baby is kicking my bladder.”

“bathroom stop?” he asked, looking at her and 😭 it seriously was like it was just her right there because his overprotective husband and dad mode was on and like a robot, his mind gears were working to pinpoint the nearest bathroom.

she nodded, though bashful, “i’ll go.”

“alone? yeah sure,” he scoffed, “come on, ba-”

“chris, no. no. this is your premiere, are y-”

“there’s literally no room for argument, honey,” he said so nonchalantly, reaching for her hand so they could both walk towards the bathroom, leaving people confused as to where they were heading and leaving their assistants asking them about where they were going to and what was going on, but chris was a man on a mission.

they went back after she was done, and of course they were asked about it.

“i’m pregnant, bathroom visits are more frequent than i like.”

every single social media platform was having a blast. twitter, tiktok, tumblr, and whatever else people use.

@fantwitterhandle:

chris and y/n y/l/n-evans are officially a dilf and milf and today is proof 😭

@fantwitterhandle:

Y/N IS LITERALLY GLOWING!!!

@fantwitterhandle:

the way y/n diverted any question she was asked to be about chris is making me so emotional 🥹 she wants him to shine 🥹

@fantwitterhandle:

no thoughts just y/n standing back and taking pictures of chris on the red carpet with her phone like the proud wife she is

@fantwitterhandle:

imagine being born and finding that your mom and dad are y/n y/l/n and chris evans