My place for procrastination and tomfoolery
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Lost-captains-rest - Lost In The Foundries.... - Tumblr Blog
You know what would have fixed anakin:tm:
If padme got him involved in naboo's goth scene it's a win-win-win
Anakin gets to wear as much eyeliner and black tunics as he wants.
Padme gets to watch her husband in a variety of, unfortunately still all black, but different outfits
And palps once the scene takes over naboo due to anakin unintentionally force suggesting it to everyone can wear his favorite evil cloaks in public.
Win-win-win!
omg perfect fix-it au idea, your mind
(donation doodles! // tip jar)
Soresu Negotiations
“Get help,” Palpatine said. “You’re no match for him. He’s a Sith Lord.”
Obi-Wan turned to look at the Chancellor. “...yes?” he said. “But he’s also something else – something I’m surprised you’ve forgotten.”
“What?” Palpatine asked.
“A politician,” Obi-Wan replied, turning back to Dooku.
Anakin groaned, then sat down.
“Here we go,” he said.
Palpatine blinked, looking from Anakin to Obi-Wan.
“...what do you mean, Anakin?” he asked.
“This happens sometimes,” Anakin replied. “How do you think he got his nickname?”
“Count,” Obi-Wan said, at about the same time. “It’s occurred to me that I never actually found out what the Confederacy wants.”
“Isn’t it a little late for this?” Dooku asked. “We have been at war for several years.”
“True,” Obi-Wan conceded, readily. “The war having started on Geonosis, because of tracing back your clone army which we… appear to have appropriated, mostly because you did it in our name. But that’s how the war started – not your objectives.”
Dooku was silent for a moment.
“I assume some semblance of a point will be emerging,” he said, eventually. “If you could be so kind as to provide it?”
“Wars begin for all sorts of reasons,” Obi-Wan replied. “But how they end… they end because a mutual settlement has been reached. And it’s occurred to me that I don’t know what you’d want out of a victory.”
He spread his hand, the one not holding the – unlit – saber. “It’s not the conquest of the Republic, I can tell that much. If the CIS annexed the Republic, what you’d have would still be the Republic, just under a different name… it’s not the Republic without the corruption that’s been causing it problems, because most of the corruption in the Republic was – was – the big industrial concerns like the Techno Union, Commerce Guild, Trade Federation. But you seem to have taken all of those off our hands, and they provide essentially your entire military so I don’t think anyone else could honestly believe that either.”
“I wouldn’t expect a Jedi to understand,” Dooku replied. “The Confederacy’s member systems have concerns relating to over-centralization.”
Obi-Wan stared at him for a long moment.
“...no they don’t,” he said.
“I hardly think you can have earned your reputation as a negotiator, Kenobi, if you are so willing to be insulting,” Dooku said, archly.
“That’s not what I mean,” Obi-Wan replied. “I mean… yes, now the Republic has an army, though really it’s actually the Jedi’s army and we’re simply letting them borrow it, but four years ago the Galactic Republic was proverbially incapable of doing anything. It took emergency powers for the Chancellor to get the Republic to authorize having any kind of military whatsoever – and the only one available was the one you ordered. That’s not over-centralization.”
He drummed his fingers on his ‘saber. “And I note that I overheard Nute Gunray insisting on the head of Senator Amidala – literally, in those words – as his price for signing a treaty. But I still haven’t heard an actual answer. What does the Galaxy look like if the Confederacy wins?”
Dooku frowned, and after about three seconds Obi-Wan glanced at the Chancellor.
“Didn’t you discuss this at any point, your excellency?” he asked. “Count Dooku doesn’t seem to have thought about this.”
Palpatine blinked.
“...he’s a Sith Lord,” he repeated. “Shouldn’t you be fighting him?”
“It’s called diplomacy, Chancellor,” Obi-Wan replied, before returning his attention to Dooku. “Grandmaster, are you seriously telling me that you never thought about what you would do if you won?”
Anakin checked his comlink, for the time, then the ship trembled slightly.
“Artoo?” he asked. “Can you tell those ships outside to stop shooting at us and give us a wide berth? This could take hours and I don’t want to find out if my name’s literal.”
“Hours?” Palpatine repeated.
“He’s rolling,” Anakin replied, rolling his eyes. “Like I say, I’m used to this.”
He rummaged in a pocket of his robes, taking out a miniature toolkit, and began disassembling his lightsaber. “I’m pretty sure I can retune these crystals to give two stable configurations which it’ll snap between, that should give me a length toggle instead of a single adjustable length…”
“Are you taking your lightsaber apart?” Palpatine hissed. “What if you need to fight?”
“It’s okay, Chancellor, I’ll get about five minutes’ warning if the negotiations are going downhill,” Anakin replied. “That should be time to put it back together again…”
Palpatine looked up to Obi-Wan, who – sure enough – was still going.
“...of course, a separate but related issue is what it’s going to be like afterwards,” Obi-Wan said. “In principle the Republic and the Jedi Order could probably accept the existence of Sith so long as we actually knew who they were and they weren’t trying to destroy us. It’s the fact that the first Sith we met in a thousand years tried to run Anakin over and cut Qui-Gon’s head off as an opening move that’s soured us towards them a bit… but are you really going to be content as someone whose whole job is to die for Sidious?”
Dooku stared at Obi-Wan, baffled, then glanced at Palpatine and Anakin.
“What do you mean?” he asked, forcing his gaze back to Obi-Wan.
“Sidious is your Master, we know that much,” Obi-Wan replied. “Partly because you told me yourself. But has he ever put himself in danger? Or has it all been you dealing with Jedi like myself and my apprentice? Putting yourself out there, in danger, while you do exactly what he says?”
He smiled slightly. “A Jedi would accept that, but you’re a Sith – you’ve said so yourself. Sith are self-interested. What do you think your new master is getting out of the situation? Because if you don’t know, it’s got to be something and it’s probably something he doesn’t want to tell you.”
“My master is quite willing to put himself in danger,” Dooku said, then clamped his lips shut at a frantic mouthed shut up from Palpatine.
“Real or feigned?” Obi-Wan asked. “Do you think he wouldn’t manipulate you? He’s been doing it to everyone else – you’ve said it.”
Dooku’s brow furrowed.
“But we’re getting off topic,” Obi-Wan said, turning to look at Palpatine. “Chancellor, what about this as a starting point? Your emergency powers were granted to resolve the crisis, and I’m sure you want to abandon them as soon as possible… so why not take away the whole reason why the individual systems in the Confederacy had problems with the Republic to begin with? Freely allow the departure of any system which wishes to do so, under the emergency powers legislation; enact a progressive tax, one which hits the Core worlds harder owing to their greater ability to pay, to sustain a carrier based navy able to hunt pirates more effectively than conduct occupations or orbital bombardment, and have the navy established on a sector-federal two-level model?”
Palpatine stared at Obi-Wan for at least ten seconds.
“...he’s a Sith Lord,” he said, yet again.
“Oh, shut up,” Dooku replied. “You’re a Sith Lord and I don’t see you doing anything constructive.”
Obi-Wan glanced at Palpatine.
“...you know,” he began. “I’m quite sure you’d need to note that on your financial disclosure forms, your Excellency.”
He turned sideways, so he could see both Dooku and Palpatine at the same time. “What was the point of this whole abduction, anyway?”
“As it happens, I was supposed to kill you,” Dooku said. “It’s the only way to turn Anakin to the Dark Side, if you’re out of the way.”
“Huh?” Anakin asked. “Is something up? I’ve almost got the crystals realigned.”
“This plan looked a lot better this morning,” Palpatine muttered.
Hello, lost and found followers. I hate to have to ask you all for this, but I'm in dire need of some assistance.
Rent is due, past due actually, and my father's paycheck is completely tied up in other expenses. If we aren't able to pay it, there won't be any more Lost and Found for the foreseeable future, we'll be homeless. We've had all kinds of other trouble lately too, such as my mother developing pneumonia, and her car having a leaky coolant hose and being out of commission.
I don't ask much of you, LnF followers, but just this once, me and my family need serious help.
www.paypal.me/projectcarthage
Park ranger in America
Park ranger in Africa
Saving people from nature vs saving nature from people.
Petronius Maximus --- The dipshit Roman emperor who caused the sack of Rome because he was an arrogant dipshit.
Petronius Maximus was a wealthy Roman politician born in 397 AD to old Roman money. Like many wealthy Romans he went into politics and throughout the early 5th century climbed the ranks of Roman government until he became one of the most powerful men in the Western Roman Empire. He was crafty and he was ambitious. He was also a dipshit and an asshole.
By the 450's P. Maximus had a clear plan, to create a power vacuum in Rome that he could cunningly fill. He began by turning the emperor at the time, Valentinian III, against his magister militum Flavius Aetius. As magister militum Aetius was commander of the Roman Army, and had proven himself a master tactician and brilliant diplomat. Through military victories and diplomacy Aetius was barely holding a crumbling empire together. Maximus convinced Valentinian III that Aetius was looking to usurp his throne. Thus in 454 Valentinian summoned Aetius to his palace and personally murdered him with his sword. Maximus had organized the death of the most talented Roman official in the empire, which in the grand scheme of things was probably a big mistake. With Aetius dead, Maximus expected he would take Aetius' place as magister militum. However Valentinian refused to appoint him as magister militum. Thus in 455 AD, Maximus had him assassinated, hiring two of Aetius' bodyguards to do the deed as revenge.
Several powerful Romans claimed the Imperial throne but Maximus managed to beat them all to the punch by taking over the Imperial Palace and immediately marrying Valentinian's widow, Licinia Eudoxia. Licinia didn't know Maximus had murdered her husband at the time but had suspicions. He also forced her daughters, Placidia and Eudocia to marry his sons. Through deceit and murder Maximus had managed to weasel his way into the Roman Imperial family and was now creating his own Imperial dynasty. Thus Petronius Maximus had become Emperor Dipshit, ruler of the shiny turd of what was left of the Western Roman Empire.
Problem was, when Emperor Dipshit married off Placidia and Eudocia to his sons, he canceled Eudocia's arranged marriage to Hunneric, who was the son of Geiseric, king of the Vandals. The Vandals were a Germanic tribe that had set up a prosperous kingdom in the former Roman province of North Africa, and were constantly raiding the Italian coast. Valentinian had arranged the marriage of Eudocia as a peace offering to Geiseric. Geiseric had received a letter from Eudoxia informing him that Maximus had killed her husband and was canceling the marriage of Eudocia. Geiseric was enraged at Empror Dipshit for canceling the marriage, and sent a Vandal fleet and army to Rome in response. "No problem" said Emperor Dipshit, "we got the Roman Army".
Except there was no Roman Army. Not really. After the death of Aetius the remains of the standing full time professional army had collapsed almost completely. Even Aetius was very dependent on mercenaries and allies. Nobody wanted to enlist in the Roman Army in the 5th century, with Romans going so far as to cut off their own fingers to avoid conscription. The Roman economy was a mess, the Imperial bureaucracy was riddled with corruption, the life of the average Roman was miserable, and by the 5th century most Roman emperors were snobbish, over-privileged, incompetent out of touch dipshits. The empire was dying and everybody knew it. Few believed it was worth saving, and nobody wanted to die for a dipshit emperor such as Emperor Dipshit. By 455 AD what was left of the Roman Army consisted of militia units called "limitanei" who acted as border patrolmen far away from Rome. For more complex military operations the Romans were fully dependent on mercenaries and allies. Emperor Dipshit attempted to enlist the help of the Visigoths, but they were like, "LMFAO nooo, you made your bed now lie in it!" I speculate they knew Maximus was a dipshit who was probably gonna get them all killed.
Emperor Dipshit knew it was a hopeless situation, so he made an announcement to the Roman people to flee and save themselves, then he too turned tail and fled. He was spotted by a large group of Roman refugees, who formed a mob and beat him to death. Good riddance. Emperor Dipshit's glorious reign lasted 77 days.
As far as sackings go the sack of Rome in 455 AD wasn't too bad. The Vandals were Christians, so the Pope was able to convince them not to do the more horrible things like rape and murder civilians, or burn down the city. So for the most part the Vandals refrained from bloodshed and arson. However they did take as many Romans into slavery as they could fit on their ships, and they also looted the city of almost everything of value. Even the bronze tiles on the roof of the Temple of Jupiter were pried off and carted away. Also Geiseric carted off Eudocia and married her off to his son Huneric.
The Vandal's sack of Rome in 455 is where we get the term "vandalism" today. Also did I mention that Petronius Maximus was a dipshit?
I hope tumblr being invested in the Kendrick Lamar v. Drake drama will inspire more people to learn about hip hop culture and appreciate rap music more instead of doing that corny "I like everything but rap" shit. This shit genuinely has an entire interesting and complex history behind it. It's never just been about the music.
Drake's lyrics:
Reality:
And Drake has done what exactly? Too busy making slave references in trash songs.
Kendrick actually saw a person die outside his Compton apartment when he was just five years old where in his mind, he realized that this type of violence is what he's going to have to get used to while growing up. He has experienced homelessness. He lived on welfare and foodstamps. Saw his friends die, even held one of his dying friends in his arms gently like he was holding a baby. Battled with avoiding the gang lifestyle that kept tempting him. Made a song titled Chapter Six with the lyric "Pray that we make it to 21" because of all the death he's experienced.
To see Drake think it's fun and cute and easy money, pretending to be from the hood/about that life/be someone he's not and never do a damn thing for the Black American community he bites from, THAT IS ONE OF THE REASONS WHY KENDRICK HATES THAT MAN!
I kinda hate how the main take away in general seems to be "hahaha I love being a hater, kendrick is the king of being a hater hahaha" or "drake has a secret daughter" and not "there are mysogynist sex pests and pedophiles in the hip hop industry and kendrick used his clout to very publically call out one" like can we please not drop the pedophilia out of this conversation YET AGAIN like the jokes are funny and I also make some but I feel like this should be front and center of the conversation and men in positions of power always get away with this shit
As a dom, you've no right to break a sub, if you don't hold them together afterwards.
Aftercare is not only a must, it's something every dom should sincerely want to give and share with their sub. If you want a sub to truly open up and be vulnerable with you then you need to put sincere effort into making them feel safe doing so.
In my experience, nothing makes a sub more willing to not only give up control but turn the filth up to 10 while doing so, than being made to feel completely safe and cared for by their dom. That extremely slutty and nasty side of your sub resides within their emotional vulnerability.
Do your fucking job and show your sub you're worthy of being let past their defenses to said vulnerability and you will see a side of them nobody else ever will, fulfilling your own needs in the process.
ATLA/Kong: Skull Island Crossover Idea
I'd personally like to blame @snoopyflinx for this.
As anyone who's been following me knows, I've been writing an ATLA/Godzilla fic. It should come to no surprise then that eventually I'd have to talk about Godzilla's rival from across the Pacific. I've already talked about King Kong once in the past in a post where I discussed the identity of the original predatory dinosaur that Kong fought in a fight to the death. So I figured it was high time I returned back to the great grandaddy of the kaiju genre.
Now to begin, we need to break down what not only Kong: Skull Island is about, but also the original and the rest of its series so we can come up with an organic combination that taps into both stories. So expect some references and appearances from older entries (since I am a huge lore nerd and like to reference as many entries as I can). And one of the most recurrent themes in both is the charming tappings of...
Part 1: Colonialism
Yeah, as much as I love the original 1933 King Kong, part of the inspiration came from old colonialist texts and stories. You know the ones: hero ventures into an untamed wilderness, sometimes discovering a lost world filled with savage natives and vicious animals to bring something back and thus "conquer" nature. It's a tale as old as time and has tappings into various real-world expeditions where explorers surveyed wild areas for exploitation by foreign powers. Hell, the idea of living dinosaurs is one of these common stories that I've talked about in the past.
Now for anyone who's ever watched ATLA, they should know that the show has a very anti-imperialistic, colonialist message. Mainly that the militaristic, imperial Fire Nation are the bad guys and need to be opposed. Basically the opposite of those old-time adventure stories I mentioned. So to faithfully crossover ATLA with King Kong, we need a message that deals with imperialism.
Kong: Skull Island gives us an edge here. Skull Island, while dangerous, isn't depicted as a hellscape. The fauna are dangerous but aren't as savage as any other real-world animal. And the natives, while wary of outsiders, are accommodating to the heroes and are seen in a dignified, sympathetic light. This goes hand in hand with ATLA since most of the dangerous animals encountered are usually portrayed as just animals, while Katara and Sokka themselves come from the "savage" (in the eyes of the Fire Nation) Southern Water Tribe.
But hey. Let's play around a bit and give our Skull Island a bit of a reputation for being a place where everything is trying to kill you and being the very worst that nature has to throw at outsiders. Which brings us to-
Part 2: Heart of Darkness
The Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad is a highly regarded novella that basically takes the piss out of a lot of these colonialist adventure novels. One of the core themes is that it examines whether or not colonials are truly better than the "savages" that they fight. In this case, they aren't. Hell, they're arguably worse since they enslave natives, encourage violence in tribes, and any "savagery" on the part of the natives is a reaction to the violence and carnage the colonials bring.
This comparison is not a coincidence. The Heart of Darkness was a big influence on the Vietnam War film Apocalypse Now, which in of itself was a big inspiration for Kong: Skull Island. So since Heart of Darkness is basically one big anti-imperialist work, something similar (if not so extreme) could work for ATLA if we decide to go the crossover route with Kong.
To begin: let's put our Skull Island somewhere around here-
What I'm thinking is that Skull Island would work on one of these unexplored islands that canon never touched. And we have an impetus for why the Fire Nation would want get involved with this chain since they have a direct route to Ba Sing Se. So there's an impetus for them to do something like establish a naval base on one of the islands to secure this critical invasion route.
Their problems start before they even see the island though.
Skull Island is surrounded by natural defenses in almost all adaptations. In the original and Peter Jackson remake, we have a thick fog which hides the island. Which in the remake becomes disastrous since the S.S. Venture almost capsizes on the very large stone pillars and rocky outcroppings. Kong: Skull Island is even worse since it has a huge storm system which only small pockets offer any safety and any chance of going to and from the island.
I could see a number of ships being disabled before they step foot on the island.
For the natives, I would have them be the more sympathetic version we see in Kong: Skull Island rather than the more racist depictions we've seen in previous films. Not that it would help them much since the Fire Nation has steamrolled through native populations like this such as the Southern Water Tribe. The natives could fight back, but they never did too well in the older films when up against modern weaponry.
No, the absolute hell of Skull Island won't come from the natives.
See...the Fire Nation has had...issues when it comes to giant fauna. They struggled against the serpent in the Book 3 premiere, and that was just a single animal. And while it easy to argue that they exterminated the dragons, that was a single species. We're talking about...well...
One of the recurring elements of Kong films is that Skull Island has an entire ecosystem that seem dead set on killing humans. We're talking giant bugs, huge insects, and massive dinosaurs. And we haven't even gotten into the big heavyweights like the Skullcrawlers and Kong himself. Even if the Fire Nation can handle one or two of them, this is a whole ecosystem.
While I wouldn't have the fauna being murderous like in previous films and be more like Kong: Skull Island, the Fire Nation policy of "burn everything in sight" is going to give them that experience from hell the older films presented.
Oh, and if somehow they do survive all of this...
Kong takes his duties as ruler of Skull Island very damn seriously and basically annihilated a war-hardened army group the moment they raise shit. Cause like in the series, even the most elite of the Fire Nation can't stand up to the forces of nature. Hell, Kong would probably crush any mechanized forces the moment they raised a ruckus, leaving everyone else to the predators of the island.
At most we might see a ruined fortress by the time Team Avatar gets there. Any remains would've been reduced to dino food.
Part 3: Team Avatar Gets There
The reasons for why Team Avatar would arrive at Skull Island would be a bit more varied. Maybe they heard there was an unknown island off the coast of the Earth Kingdom and wanted to see it for themselves. Maybe they were chasing some rogue Fire Nation army group or wanted to investigate just how the hell an entire army just disappeared in the past. Who knows?
Sokka would obviously take charge, seeing that they were effectively in the middle of nowhere. Probably already drawing up plans to find a good position where they can safely land on Appa (within reason of course). Once they actually look around and see that they are basically on the bottom of the food chain, he'd probably be the one who'd suggest NOT enraging any of the big fauna needlessly for no reason lest they find themselves always on the run.
Zuko would be the opposite. He's the hothead and would probably see something like a young Skullcrawler or a Vastatosaurus as some kind of obstacle that needs to be conquered. You know, since he was raised in the militaristic Fire Nation. Of course, he gets some humble pie since these things aren't exactly just big targets to throw fire at. Maybe he even comes across some base ruins or the graves of some Fire Nation soldiers. Make him realize just how out of their element his people were and reevaluate whether or not unrestrained aggression is the appropriate response here.
Toph on the other hand would love Skull Island. She's the chaos gremlin and would probably enjoy seeing all the giant dangerous animals stomping around. I mean she was taught by Badgermoles, so she might be more comfortable around big fauna than most. That and the endless amount of adventures a whole new land would provide.
Katara would connect the most with the natives. Again, they're not that "savage" here and she'd probably connect with their past of being subjugated by the Fire Nation and living on what basically amounts to the frontier. She could probably even admire their stalwart attitude towards the various horrors that Skull Island would provide.
That leaves us with Aang. Knowing him-
That boy is riding the Brontosaurs and nothing anyone says is going to convince me otherwise. Them and the Sker Buffalo. You telling me he won't try to ride a distant relative of Appa?
He'd probably be the best around the animals of the island, recognizing them as animals, not monsters.
But I think his most interesting relationship would be with Kong himself.
Simply put, they're the last of their kind. Aang is the last airbender. Kong is the last of his species. And both of them have been saddled with the enormous responsibility of maintaining a sort of balance on the island. It's why I brought up the force of nature thing earlier since Kong is basically Skull Island's answer to the Avatar. It's a sort of parallel that Aang could see and connect with Kong over. Cause in many ways, Kong also serves as a foil. Aang is carefree and funloving. Kong is more serious and refined. That and both of them technically are kids who were forced to grow up (Kong was described as being a teenager and still growing if I remember the interviews correctly).
Speaking of teenagers being forced to grow up and monsters...
Part 4: Monsters
Yeah, I had to give a portion to Azula. How she ends up on Skull Island might vary. Maybe she shipwrecked there. Maybe she's on the run and headed there cause nobody would be crazy enough to even try. She'd basically be the other side of the coin Zuko was on: being forced to fend for herself on an island full of predators but without a support system.
This could lead to some...pretty interesting scenarios and confrontations she has with the island's animals. Like, her running into a Vastatosaurus, a Skullcrawler, or a Deathrunner would be a pretty fun scene to write. That and depending on her mental health, we could get some interesting scenes with Hallucination!Ursa that expands that aspect of her character.
But I think the big element of Azula's arc is...well, showing that she's not a monster. She's human, and have that reflect on the Skull Island animals. I've mentioned it before, but I wanted to go with the direction Kong: Skull Island took and make the creatures more sympathetic by showing more sides to them rather than vicious predators.
Take the Venatosaurus from the Peter Jackson remake. Fast. Intelligent. Vicious. Just like Azula. But one thing that the film never got a chance to expand on was that they actually live in close-knit family groups. All adults take care of the juveniles together, raising them, feeding them, and protecting them. They never leave the nest unguarded. I think a scene of a pack tending their nest and being sociable would show that if something as vicious as them can have a soft side, why not Azula?
Then there's Kong.
I think Kong could work as a foil to both Aang AND Azula. Kong was the teen forced to become an adult, just like Azula. And like Azula, he has baggage when it comes to his parents (mainly that they died and not because they were abusive or neglectful or anything). As well as having an enormous responsibility on their shoulders (King of Skull Island, Princess of the Fire Nation). Being seen as monsters despiting being more than just mindless killers. And who knows? Maybe Azula could connect to Kong in a similar way that Aang did.
Conclusion:
My thoughts on an ATLA/Kong story goes a few ways. First, it should deconstruct imperialism just like Kong: Skull Island and ATLA did. It should also show that Skull Island isn't just hell on earth and that the animals and people are more than just something to be conquered or destroyed.
All in all, it has a lot of potential. I'm not sure if I'd write it myself since I already have a few ideas down the pipeline. But feel free to take some inspiration if you want to explore the idea yourself.
you know what month it is 🌈
Captain America #6 (2024)
written by J. Michael Straczynski art by Lan Medina, Belardino Brabo, & Espen Grundetjern
Steve's choices / Bucky's lack thereof
BDS HAS CALLED FOR A TARGETED BOYCOTT OF PRO-ISRAEL PROPAGANDA CHARACTER SABRA!!!
BOYCOTT SABRA (RUTH BAT-SERAPH) IN MARVEL'S CAPTAIN AMERICA : NEW WORLD ORDER!!!
As Captain America: New World Order is released I urge all fans who are against Zionism to flood the Captain America tags with messages of Boycott Sabra. All the links provided in the graphic are publicly available from their websites, and social media.
Anti-Zionism =/= Anti-Semitism!!! We are boycotting Sabra not because she is Jewish but because she represents a Pro-Israel, Pro-Zionist message that should not be platformed in any media. Her comics have Pro-IDF propaganda.
Marvel was made aware of the fact that this character promotes a Pro-Israeli & Anti-Palestinian sentiment when the character of Sabra was announced for Captain America 4, despite fan concern, and calls for Marvel to remove this character from the movie and despite have more than enough time to respond to what type of statement this would promote, a Pro-Zionist, Pro-Israel stance and despite reshoots Marvel has still chosen to keep Sabra in the movie. Shira Haas is the actress playing Sabra, she is Israeli and has shared Pro-Israel posts online even during the genocide of the Palestinians.
Marvel claims they will be reinventing the character however a character whose very nationality and backstory relies on Pro-Israel & Pro-Zionist ideals is irredeemable especially because not once in all her comic appearances does she ever change her Anti-Palestinian stance. Israel is currently committing a Genocide against Palestinians. Since of October 7th more than 30,000 Palestinians, of which over 12,000 are children, have been murdered by Israel. Over 60,000 have been injured, more missing, and millions displaced in Israel's genocide and ethnic cleansing of the people of Palestine. This is in addition the 75 year long occupation, countless war crimes, and 16 year blockade on Palestinians.
Marvel claims to care about Jewish characters, but Marvel hasn't even cast Jewish actors for Jewish Characters like Moonknight. Marvel choosing to back a Pro-Israel, Pro-Zionist character like Sabra sends a very clear message that aligns with Marvel Comics long held Anti-Palestinian sentiment. There are other Jewish characters for Jewish representation, such as Magneto, and Kitty Pryde, who were not created with a Pro-Israel, Pro-Zionist background.
BOYCOTT SABRA!!! Send a message, write a tweet, make a post, and tag Marvel and Disney and let them know why you are Boycotting Captain America: New World Order. I love Sam Wilson as Captain America but I will never support a movie that has Sabra as a character.
For more information about the character's history here is a breakdown of her appearances in Marvel Comics.
The Incredible Hulk (1968) #256 - Sabra's Origin
On the cover of Sabra's origin issue is the image of a dead Palestinian boy.
continued...
As we read the issue, we find Bruce Banner/The Hulk has stowed away on the ship "The Star of David" to Palestine, in the comics it is called Israel, however Marvel Comics has long been erasing Palestine, calling it only Israel.
This is Marvel Atlas (2008) #2 page on Israel
Marvel Fandom Wiki states that Palestine was the name of the land before Israel. While I understand that Marvel's 616 Universe is fictional, it's important to state that they base their locations on Real Life locations, and in 1948 Palestine underwent The Nakba, in which Israeli Forces displaced over 750,000 Native Palestinians and killed countless men, women, and children, stole land and homes, and forced the remaining Palestinians into the Gaza Strip which is the world's largest concentration camp, or confined to the West Bank all of which is under Apartheid laws today, or out of Palestine with no right to return to their homes and lands.
That being said, Sabra was created in 1980, as a Mossad Agent, Mossad is the Israeli Secret Service which has done so much harm to Palestinians. In her first issue she was working as a cop in Tel Aviv.
The Editor's note states: "The word Sabra denotes a Native-Born Israeli, the name derived from an indigenous form of fruit - a prickly pear possessed of a sweet interior, and a spiny outer surface to protect it from it's enemies."
Sabr (arabic, it also means "patience") is a cactus prickly pear that is Native to and found growing in Palestine. Read more about it in this article talking about the politics of Palestinian erasure and the Sabr fruit.
The Prickly Symbolism of Cactus Fruit in Israel and Palestine.
“If you look at most Palestinian villages demolished in Israel, what’s left is cactus fruit and olive trees,” says Qattan. Since 1948, he adds, this has imbued the cactus plant with a “mythical symbolism.”
When Blum’s father started the farm, he knew that many parts of the world have cactus fruit plants, so he wanted to make theirs the best. They chose Dimona, in southern Israel, because of its intense sun and “the Zionist dream of making the desert bloom.”
"Making the desert bloom" is a racist Zionist ideals and propaganda that has caused severe ecological damage to Palestine by destroying thousand years old Olive trees to plant non indigenous trees that are not native to Palestine in a form of ecocide. So even the character Sabra, her very name brings a connection back to the Nakba, the ethnic cleansing of Palestinians & promoting Zionism.
However Sabra's name also has another very real and very tragic memory. One I will discuss here before returning to the comics. Just two years after her appearance in comics in 1980, Israel's war crimes continue.
The Sabra & Shatila Massacre 1982
The article linked above has information of what occurred September 16-18, 1982. There were the Refugee camps of Sabra & Shatila, where Palestinians displaced from Israeli Occupation lived, and they, as well as Lebanon Civilians, were killed by the right wing Lebanese Militia working with the Israeli Military, which took the lives of 2,000 - 3,500 people in 2 days. Raped, tortured, murdered. Many Palestinians know the history of the massacre and bringing up the names of Sabra & Shatila is a constant reminder of the deaths that occurred, the war crime that was committed, and that 42 years later not one person involved in the massacre was held accountable.
The Sabra and Shatila massacre is remembered as one of the most traumatic events in Palestinian history and its memory is commemorated annually by Palestinians in Lebanon and in Palestine.
Marvel promoting a character like Sabra who's very creation ties into the Pro-Zionist Israel a statement that Marvel is promoting a Pro-Israel message. No matter what changes occur to the character in the movie, already her very creation, her very name is linked to the deaths and torture of thousands of Palestinians. It does not matter that she was created 2 years before the Sabra & Shatila massacre, her name is still connected to the ethnic cleansing of Palestinians from the 1948 Nakba and the creation of Israel.
For anyone who says "Well Marvel couldn't change her name just because of Political Controversy" let me remind you that when the American Black Panther Party gained popularity Marvel changed The Black Panther's name temporarily to the Black Leopard because they didn't want to associate the character with the American Black Panther Party.
Now that you have an understanding of why Palestinians are rightfully boycotting an Israeli Propaganda character let me return to the the comics.
Back to The Incredible Hulk (1968) #256; this comic is one of the most Anti-Palestinian, "Arab Terrorist Propaganda" comics I have ever read so I will briefly outline the plot: The Hulk meets a poor Palestinian boy who was stealing a watermelon (The watermelon is the symbol of resistance for Palestinians) and Bruce spends time with the boy, Sahad, however Sahad is killed by a bomb. Hulk is enraged and fights the Arabs, Sabra intervenes and thinks Hulk is in league with the Arabs and attacks him.
Hulk takes Sahad's body away and Sabra thinking Hulk was fighting with the Arab Terrorists goes after him in order to protect Israel. However she finds that Hulk wasn't the monster she thought he was. Hulk's angry speech about the Israel-Palestine conflict leaves Sabra shaken and for the very first time she sees a Dead Palestinian Arab Child as human.
"For an instant, Sabra prepares to give chase. She is, after all, an Israeli Super-Agent... A Soldier... A Weapon of War. But she is also a woman, capable of feeling, capable of caring. It has taken The Hulk to make her see this Dead Arab Boy as a Human Being. It has taken a monster to awaken her own sense of humanity.
Reminder this is her FIRST FULL COMIC, this is her ORIGIN, and you would think that perhaps she is more sympathetic to the plight of the Palestinians after this but she isn't. Let's continue with the rest of her comic appearances.
Marvel Super Hero Contest of Champions (1982) #1-3
Sabra is included in the contest of champions where superheroes must team up to battle their foes, she is teamed up with Iron Man, and The Arabian Knight (1st incarnation: A Saudi Bedouin with mystic artifacts/powers). Again, the Anti-Arab racist stereotype of Arab men being misogynistic towards women (misogyny is not a trait of ONLY Arab men, it is something that occurs world wide, however focusing it only on Arab men is racist) as well as the Zionist Propaganda lies that Arabs hate Jews, Arabs vs Jews, Arabs and Jews are enemies because of their religion. Not to mention that this Arabian Knight (Abdul Qamar) is from Saudi Arabia, he has no ties to Israel, so Sabra is judging him because he is Arab and has conflict with him because of their countries, it ties into the stereotype that "All Arabs are the same", Saudi Arabia is not Palestine.
Even after The Arabian Knight saves Sabra, she states her hatred and racism towards Arabs; "I would rather be dead than allied with you!"
The Incredible Hulk (1968) #279 - Sabra once again states it was the Hulk who taught her about Humanity.
Marvel Super-Heroes (1990) #6 - Sabra fights Israeli Anarchists who want to overthrow the Israeli Government and saves the American Ambassador's son, who is deaf. The main villain is a woman who Sabra saved by giving her some of her life energy, and she is upset because she did not want to be saved nor does she want to fight for Israel with the powers Sabra gave her. Sabra takes her life energy back and it kills her.
A constant running theme throughout her comics is that one of Sabra's repeated goals is the protection of Israel even above her own life.
The Incredible Hulk (1968) #386-387 - Sabra thinks the Hulk is in league with people who are trying to kill a boy, and attacks him. Later she thinks Hulk has defeated her and has this speech where she says that Israeli Soldiers are beating their wives out of frustration.
Again, how is that not the fault of the soldiers, why is it even when they are perpetrators of violence it's not their fault because they are frustrated?!
The main plot was that a Jewish man, who survived the German Nazi concentration camps, believed the boy to be the next Hitler which is why he wanted to stop him.
I never downplay the horror of the Holocaust or what Jewish people suffered from Nazis, from Anti-Semitism, throughout their history, but I am mainly focusing on how Sabra's character is in the comics and how that related to Anti-Palestinian, Anti-Arab sentiment.
The New Warriors (1990) #58-59 - Sabra reveals that her six year old son was killed by Arabs, bombed on a school bus, after she urges the New Warriors to kill Batal, a Syrian Super-Agent. Batal then states that it was the PLO (Palestinian Liberation Organization) that killed her son and to stop generalizing all Arabs.
Batal: Well Sabra? There's a Palestinian over there -- aren't you going to push him out of his seat and claim it as your own? Sabra: I don't respond to child-killers
Again, Sabra's racism against Arabs doesn't end at Palestinian Arabs, but extended to Saudi Arabia and now Syrian Arabs. LET ME BE VERY CLEAR THAT SABRA IS BEING RACIST: Batal has 2, TWO, only 2 comic appearances, he is there as security detail like Sabra is, there is nothing about his character that indicates he's anything but a Syrian Superhero, and Sabra still called him a child killer because she thinks all Arabs are child killers. Batal is written with the stereotypical racist Arab Man writing that many Arab characters suffer from, and he does insult Sabra by calling her an "Israeli Pig" after she treated Batal with disrespect, distrust, and suspicion ever since his arrival.
Sabra is then mind controlled into stopping the peace conference and killing everyone who allowed it to happen. She is stopped by the New Warriors.
Sabra's son is never once shown in a flashback, we are only ever told of him and how he died.
X-Men (1991) #67-69, 72-73
Sabra's dead son's name is revealed to be Jacob, she uses her position in Mossad to get secret information for the X-Men.
She later has plans to track down and kill Magneto, but ends up fighting with his clone, Joseph, before being told that wasn't the real Magneto and stopping.
Excalibur (1988) #120-121
Sabra teams up with Excalibur to defend "Israel" from Legion's ghosts. Then she is debriefed of her mission by Mossad.
Uncanny X-Men (1963) #366, 367, 379
Sabra takes Joseph (Magneto's clone) to an Israeli Military bunker where scientists study his DNA and state he is a clone of Magneto. Later Sabra attends Joseph's funeral.
X-Men (1991) #111
Sabra makes a statement about Magneto; Israeli Super-Agent Sabra weighed in on the looming war with her usual candor, "It is clear to me at least that Magneto has become the monster he claims to despise. There are some factions who believe this rumored son of Israel has brought much shame to his countrymen. Factions who believe he should be dealt with once and for all. Okay maybe not factions. But certainly Individuals... like me."
New X-Men (2001) #131-132
Sabra attends a funeral for Darkstar in #131. In #132 Sabra interacts with the mutants, and x-men, and says to Quicksilver (on the apparent death of Magneto), "I'm sorry Quicksilver, but good riddance. Magneto was a master-race lunatic who coherenced the entire Genoshan mutant population into a war with humanity and brought this on himself."
JLA/Avengers (2003) #4
Single panel appearance where Sabra is shown protecting the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem. Again she is called an Israeli hero.
Side Note: I don't think there's been a single comic where Sabra has a major presence that has not mentioned at least once that Sabra is an Israeli Super Hero, a Mossad Agent, or an Israeli Super-Agent at least once. It's so noticeable that they always mention it and how big of a role it plays in her character.
Excalibur (2004) #5
Flashback two panel appearance of Sabra on Genosha.
Civil War: X-Men (2006) #1-4
Sabra fights on the side of Tony Stark/Iron Man and battles Archangel, then aids an injured Micro Max.
Civil War (2006) #6
Sabra fights on the side of Tony Stark/Iron Man.
Union Jack (2006) #1-4
The Arabian Knight has changed mantles, the 2nd incarnation is portrayed by a Palestinian Hero, Navid Hashim. I make mention of this because in Union Jack (2006) #1 Navid is called a Saudi, then in Hulk (2008) #45 Navid is called a Afghani, however the Marvel Fandom Wiki stated he was a Palestinian and I wanted to confirm it, which I did in:
Marvel Encyclopedia, New Edition (2019)
In the first issue of Union Jack, right off the bat, Sabra has an issue with The Arabian Knight, and is antagonistic towards him.
Navid is written in Marvel's usual racist writing; the misogynistic Arab man stereotype. Navid tells Sabra she should embrace her role as a mother instead of a hero. Sabra snaps and chokes him while telling Navid that Palestinians killed her son. Note how now it's Palestinians and not, Arabs, and not the PLO? Because by now the PLO is no longer considered a Terrorist group, so Marvel can't blame them and instead shift the blame to all Palestinians for the loss of Sabra's son. Arabs is too general, so of course it's the Palestinians.
To this date Sabra's son, Jacob, has still never appeared in any flashbacks, never seen drawn into a comic with Sabra, no mention of who the boy's father is. Nothing except Sabra's loss and hatred of the Palestinians. Even in her first solo comic series, which I discuss further down, does not mention her son. Using the death of an Israeli child to justify villainizing the entire group of Palestinian people is Zionist Israelis do. It's Anti-Palestinian Propaganda.
Later Navid gets hurt and Sabra checks on him, he tries to apologize;
Arabian Knight: About your son... I only meant. Sabra: Don't. We are allies of the moment. Another day I would have driven the dagger home.
Later Sabra, The Arabian Knight, and others are mind controlled by the villain to attack Union Jack. Union Jack is told that he can distract them by turning them against their "natural enemies" and then Union Jack insults Sabra and uses Sabra's hatred and racism towards Arabs to turn her against The Arabian Knight. Sabra calls Navid a terrorist as she attacks him.
The mind control gets broken, and the team rallies to save the day by the last issue. The final exchange between The Arabian Knight and Sabra shows a tense acknowledgement between them meant to show begrudging respect. This is the nicest Sabra has been to any Arab character since her creation. The bar of "showing respect" is literally on the ground.
Secret Invasion #6
Cameo one panel appearance of Sabra in Israel fighting a Skrull.
Astonishing Tales (2009) #6 - Astonishing Tales: Sabra
Tagline in the comic states: Sabra: Whether as an agent of Mossad, or a superhero, the Israeli mutant Ruth Bat-Seraph has never doubted her decision to put her country above self. Fighting alongside the Avengers, X-Men, and Captain Britain, as the patriotically garbed Sabra. Ruth has proven herself a champion to all nations.
"Sabra in Flight" - is one of the most disgusting pieces of Israeli comic propaganda I have ever read thus far in Sabra's comics. For my first time reading it I was shocked at how easily they projected the narrative of Israel as something noble and worth dying for. This piece of utter trash is the very first time Sabra has her own solo comic story. Let that sink in. This is the first time in 29 years since Sabra's creation 1980 that she has her own solo comic story. Sabra's total presence in the comics is 42 years.
The only things we know of her character is that her name is Ruth Bat-Seraph, she was born and raised in a special Israeli Kibbutz (Israeli settlement), that she manifested mutant powers that include; flight, energy quills, poisoned quills, super strength, and life energy transference. Sabra had a six year old son named Jacob who died in a bombing. She has always stated or maintained her solidarity and defense of Israel even above her own life. She is racist to any Arab, especially Palestinian Arabs.
It also important to note her costume changes over the years, her Star of David has diminished greatly from being on different parts of her uniform to just barely being a necklace/neck accessory. Her roles as Israeli Hero is greater than that of her being a Jewish Hero.
This comic introduces us to Ruth at a Israeli social function in Jerusalem, where is with her mother. Her mother tells her not to spill anything on her Sabra uniform, and mentions how people want to talk to her, Their Greatest Soldier. Again the emphasis on her being an Israeli Soldier and a Mossad Agent is hammered home in the first page of this comic.
Mother: "Your dad would be so proud of you, Ruth. To see his daughter in uniform protecting the Nation." Ruth: "I just hate being put on display at these receptions. I am a Mossad Agent after all."
Then the next bit of news we learn is that Sabra has a brother. So now we know she has a mother and brother who is living, and her father is deceased. Next a old friend of Ruth's arrives with her teenage daughter, Yael, in tow, she introduces Sabra to her daughter and leaves them to talk. Sabra then mentions to Yael that she must be getting close to her mandatory military service soon. Yael mentions she is nervous because her friend was in the military and was paralyzed in Gaza.
Sabra then spends the next part of the comic reassuring Yael that it's ok to be nervous and that she was nervous too sometimes and mentions a story where she faced Hydra, and that when Yael goes into the Israeli military (IDF: Israeli Defense Force) she will learn a lot.
Sabra: "You'll learn a lot when you enter the Military. But the biggest thing you'll discover is that you have two families; your military family, and your personal family. Both will always be there for you, and perhaps even sacrifice themselves for you. A hard truth I learned the day my dad died rescuing me."
Yael mentions how her father was killed by surface to air missiles, and then goes on to say she was accepted into the air force flight academy and she always wanted to fly but that she was nervous. She mentions she might go into Military Intelligence. Sabra says that is good too but Yael then says she feels she was always meant to fly. So to convince Yael go into air force and alleviate her fears Sabra then takes her in her arms to fly her over Jerusalem and tells her that this land is what their dads died for. And she is convinced that Yael will make the right choice.
Side Note: Excuse me while I throw up, this entire comic made me feel so disgusted. I always try to write and speak about comics as professionally as I can but fuck this comic. Fuck this Pro Israel Propaganda. Fuck Sabra. Fuck this Pro-IDF comic. Fuck making an entire comic about reassuring a young teenage Israeli girl to go and join the IDF to fight in Gaza, to kill Palestinians. THIS. This is why Sabra will NEVER be able to be divorced from her origins, her character, as a Pro-Israeli Super Agent. No matter what Marvel tries to put into the movie this is who the character is at her very core.
Over 12,000 children have DIED since October 7th. Israel is committing genocide against the Palestinian people, but Marvel and the MCU, and Disney think it's ok to have a Israeli Superhero in a Captain America movie? Boycott. Scream out online to them. Tell them we do not want their Israeli Propaganda. Sabra should never ever be used for any platform, movies, shows, animation, comics, ever again. Over 30,000 Palestinians have been slaughtered by Israel in the last few months alone. Never forget.
I'm shaking with rage as I write about this comic but we move on. There's still some comics left to discuss. However in my firm opinion this character is indefensible, she literally is an Israeli Propaganda character. She is propaganda for the IDF.
History of the Marvel Universe (2012)
Cameo Appearance.
Amazing Spider-Man (1963) #685, Amazing Spider-Man: Ends of the Earth (2012) #1
Sabra teams up with Spider-Man and other heroes, she is introduced as a Israeli based mutant, she fights spider robots in Jerusalem.
X-Men (2010) #31, 34-37
In Paris, Sabra greets Storm and later she helps the X-Men using her influence as a Mossad Agent.
X-Men (2013) #9, 11, 16 + X-Men Legacy (2012) #23
Sabra aids the X-Men.
Captain America: Steve Rogers (2016) #18
One page Cameo, Sabra appears to have completed a mission and gathered files.
Avengers (2018) #11
Sabra and the Arabian Knight are at a meeting called by The Black Panther. T'Challa wants everyone to work together, they are currently discussing an issue with Namor the Sub-Mariner, King of Atlantis. Ursa Major makes fun of the situation; "Haaaa, look at Sabra and the Arabian Knight! Even the Jew and the Muslim are agreeing! How touching!
Zionist propaganda of making it seem as if the conflict between Israel and Palestine is a religious conflict between an Arab and a Jew. Making of a Jewish and Muslim character getting alone because they should be fighting is racist, Islamophobic, and anti-sematic. The conflict between Israel and Palestine is NOT a religious conflict, Israel has been occupying and murdering Palestinians for 75 years. It is a conflict between Israel being a colonizer and Palestine being colonized. Israel is committing a genocide as I create this post.
At the end of all her appearances spanning 42 years Sabra has not once changed from her palestinian, arab hating, israeli zionist roots. All we get is her trading a few words back and forth with Arabian Knight and acting like an adult at a table full of kids. There isn't even respect between them. That is all the appearances of Sabra.
Why is important to boycott Sabra? In addition to the character being Pro-Israel, Pro-IDF Propaganda, giving a large platform like the one an MCU movie provides will give the actress a larger platform.
Israeli Actress, Gal Gadot, who is Pro-Israel, Pro-Zionism, Pro-IDF, and was a former IDF soldier, was cast in a high profile role of Wonder Woman, she used her platform, power, and access to thousands of fans to further messages of Zionism and even promoted a Pro-Israel propaganda film to be aired in Hollywood. The film was used to further the Zionist agenda of continuing their genocide against the Palestinians in Gaza. Bearing Witness (2023) is a Israel IDF propaganda film that Gal Gadot endorsed as Israel continued their genocide of the Palestinians in the Gaza Strip.
Wonder Woman isn't even Israeli, however the actress used her ties to the character to promote Israel. In Wonder Woman: 1984 there is a very racist, Anti-Arab, Anti-Palestinian message including a scene where Wonder Woman, played by Gadot, saves 4 Arab boys from a missile. Article Link
Why is that scene so controversial? Because Israel murdered four young boys who were playing on a beach in Gaza back in 2014 by a drone missile strike. Article Link
Gal Gadot and now Shira Haas having roles in movies with as much exposure as DC and Marvel movies promotes Israel, and Zionism. Pro Zionist groups have already voiced their approval of Shira Haas playing Sabra.
I will boycott any piece of media that features Sabra, the Israeli Propaganda Super Agent.
Use the Captain America tags to Boycott Sabra.
If you have read this far then please support Palestine. Support Palestinians and fight against Zionism. Comics were created by Jewish Creators, do not let Zionists try to erase their contribution or use comics to promote Zionism. Comics are never created in a vacuum, they are the pulse of current pop culture, of current news. Comics are Political and always have been. Marvel choosing to keep Sabra in the MCU sends a clear message of support for Zionism & Israel.
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Okay here's my obligatory post about Tumblr users and their ignorance of rap, as a (white) fan of rap:
Saying "Not all rap music is about violence, here are alternatives" is not helpful, because the violent music ALSO has meaning.
When Biggie Smalls postures about his gang connections and packing heat, he isn't doing it because wow violence is so edgy, it's a powerful statement. Youth in urban areas where gang activity is heavy are often treated as lesser than by default, especially compared to black people the same age from a wealthy background. There's a reason that the "wholesome and respectable" black-lead entertainment of that era was stuff like the Cosby Show, with doctor-lawyer parents, or Family Matters, with a cop dad. There's a reason why the big joke of Fresh Prince is someone with a more unstable upbringing moving in with one of these model black sitcom families.
Standing up and saying yeah, I came from the mean streets, I was molded by this violence and yes, I did what I had to do to survive in a world that refuses to acknowledge my existence as meaningful or worthy of protection. I protected myself, I made my own way, and fuck anybody who tries to stand in the way of that.
Refusing to demonize that environment and wearing it like armor in a way that protects from the authority that wants you to see them as sub humans incapable of only violence and hatred, and saying HEY. I'm here, I lived this, and there is love and there is pain and there is ART in this.
That is powerful. That is the essence of gangster rap.
It isn't about hurting people for fun, it's about holding a mirror up to a society that does the hurting and then calls you a monster for what it's made you. Its about validating the experiences of the disenfranchised and biting back at authority. It's about turning a pain that the world say you deserve being one of those people from those places into POETRY. Into ART.
And thats why it matters.
And thats why you need to shut the yell up and stop dismissing it as violence without substance when you all sat on your ass listening to songs about Hatsune Miku eating people in middle school.
Tony Stark’s achievements
Childhood:
“Brilliant and unique mind”
At age 4 built his first circuit board
At age 6 built his first engine
Cracked the Pentagon’s firewall in high school on a dare
Went to college at 14
Built cool smart robots (Dum-E and U) when he was a teen
At 17 graduated summa cum laude from MIT
Polyglot
Before Afghanistan:
“Da Vinci of our time”
Became an owner and CEO of Stark Industries at 21
Successfully ran the company for decades
Advanced the world of technology, not only in weaponry and robotics but also:
created advanced AI J.A.R.V.I.S.
created holographic interface technology
created repulsor technology
Participated in charity
In and after Afghanistan:
“I’m sorry, I’m not Tony Stark”
Survived an open-heart surgery in a cave, without general anesthesia
Lived with, in fact, a debilitating wound, shrapnel, and a huge and dangerous technological device in his body for years and was willing and capable of doing not only his usual work but also being a superhero and doing all these next things...
Did not give up under torture and fought with his captors
Invented and built a miniaturized Arc Reactor, in a cave, with a box of scraps
Invented and built Iron Man armor, in the same cave, with the same box of scraps
Escaped from captivity by himself (with help from Yinsen, but without any armed assistance)
Became an expert in piloting and driving
Saved people in Gulmira
Saved a USAF pilot
Probably the best hacker in the world, was able to easily hack networks of the Pentagon, US government, AIM, and SHIELD
Fought with Iron Monger after nearly died. Defeated him and saved many lives. Was ready to die for that
Built many more different Iron Man armors
Fought terrorists between IM and IM2 (IM2 tie-in comics)
Saved a submarine crew (IM2 - newspapers in Vanko’s home)
Saved a woman from a fire (IM2 - newspapers in Vanko’s home)
“Stabilized East-West relations” (IM2 - newspapers in Vanko’s home), so the world was “enjoying its longest period of uninterrupted peace in years”
Organized Stark Expo
Was able to keep Iron Man armor in his safe hands despite the government’s and HYDRA’s attempts to take it for themselves
Defeated Ivan Vanko in Monaco
(Re)Discovered a new element
Synthesized it, by building a particle accelerator, at home
Revolutionized energy industry and science. Gave clean energy to the world
Defeated Vanko in New York with Rhodey, Natasha, and Pepper and saved many lives again
Saved Peter Parker (IM2)
Made it so that the Abomination would not leave prison and join the Avengers
Built Stark/Avengers Tower powered by Arc Reactor technology
Saved Steve Rogers and many civilians in Germany from Loki
Was able to fight with Thor on equal terms
Biggest brain on Earth, arguably - in the Universe:
best scientist on the team, in SHIELD, on Earth, in the Universe
expert in nuclear, particle, and quantum physics
was able to learn very quickly – became an expert in thermonuclear astrophysics in one night
Successfully tracked Tesseract by its gamma radiation with Bruce
Saved Helicarrier with the Avengers and SHIELD agents on board, almost died
Saved Rogers from a merc right after that
Fought with Chitauri, killed many of them, saved a lot of people
Was able to blow up a Leviathan by himself
Saved New York City by redirecting a nuke to the wormhole
Saved the world by destroying Thanos’ Chitauri army, almost died again
Founded The United States Department of Damage Control to clean up after battles
Rebuilt Stark Tower into Avengers Tower and gave each team member their own quarters
One of the best biologists and biomedical engineers on Earth, even if it’s not his main area of expertise:
helped Maya with Extremis back in 1999, because knew more in her own field, and even didn’t remember that
was head hunted by Aldrich Killian to work on Extremis with/instead of Maya, who was the leading expert in tissue regeneration
improved and stabilized Extremis, so it became safe regenerative technology, and with it…
cured Pepper
healed extensive injuries in his chest
invented and implanted devices for remote control of his suits (into his forearm in IM3, and most probably into his brain for Mark L armor in Infinity War)
invented build-in diagnostic system in his suits
Invented many devices for protection purposes (ex. bomb disposal)
A capable detective. Figured out the cause of explosions in IM3 on his own
Saved Pepper instead of himself by putting Mark 42 on her during the attack on his Malibu mansion
Survived the attack with a barely working prototype suit. Shot down a helicopter with a piano
Was able to fight with enhanced fire-breathing regenerating terrorists without armor and weapons in Rose Hill. In handcuffs
Knowledgeable and skilled in medicine:
saved a kid with his arc reactor in a deleted scene from IM3, selflessly pulling it out of his chest and performing defibrillation under electric shocks
knew how to recognize hyperglycemia when Harley was eating 3rd bawl of candies
closed his wound in Infinity War with nanoparticles
performed first-aid on Bruce after his snap
Built a lot of stuff from random things he bought in a store for the assault on the Mandarin's mansion. In a motel
Successfully stormed the Mandarin's mansion full of armed and huge security guys with dogs. Alone. Without his armor
Successfully escaped captivity in the Mandarin's mansion with just a few pieces of armor on
Saved all the people who fell from the Air Force One
Stormed Roxxon Norco ship with Rhodey, without a suit. With one handgun
Saved the US president
Defeated Killian and his Extremis-enhanced terrorists, saved many lives
Built quinjets
Created Iron Legion
Became the benefactor of the Avengers, provided them with everything, was a combatant, and also the team’s pilot, hacker, engineer, medic, and scientist
As an Avenger saved many lives on missions, including destroying the rest of HYDRA in AoU
With Bruce’s help created Veronica and Hulkbuster suit
Defeated a rogue Iron Legionnaire with a fork
In contrast to other team members was able to function after Wanda played with his mind
Defeated mad Hulk. Saved a lot of lives in Johannesburg
Easily hacked nuclear codes in Nexus and found J.A.R.V.I.S. “in the world’s biggest haystack”
Created advanced AI F.R.I.D.A.Y.
Many advanced AIs
Created Vision
With the Avengers defeated Ultron and his army
Evacuated people who were left in Sokovia
Saved a falling evacuation shuttle with people on it
Together with Thor saved Earth by destroying the falling Sokovia
Rebuilt Stark Compound into Avengers Compound for the team in Upstate New York
Invented several medical devices, including leg braces, blood toxicity detector
Sponsored the development of technology for psychotherapy (B.A.R.F.). Prevented it from being used for harm
Funded all the students’ projects at MIT
Did everything possible to legally, politically, and physically protect the team before, during, and after the Civil War
Was able to disarm Winter Soldier without a suit, with only one armored glove
Figured out Spider-Man’s identity
Created Spider-Man’s suits
Mentored, sponsored, and looked after Peter Parker
Saved Peter Parker (SMH). Twice
Saved the ferry from sinking
Invented nanoparticles
“Earth’s best defender”
Went to space to save Peter, Strange and bring back Time Stone
Saved Peter Parker (IW)
Saved Strange on the Donut spaceship. Killed Ebony Maw
Cloak of Levitation chose him as his second favorite (deleted scene with Tony wearing Levi and Strange in Mark L)
Was respected by Thanos himself
Withstood when Thanos hit him with a moon
Fought Thanos, made him bleed, kept fighting even without armor
Survived a severe injury thanks to his own invention
Was able to function, tried to fix Benatar, and return home while injured and ill with an infected wound
Built a lab for Bruce and helped him to become one with Hulk (combine the best of both worlds)
Became an amazing dad
Became an expert in time travel physics
Discovered/invented (controlled) Time travel
Built a time machine
Went on Time Heist and stole Tesseract from a guarded military base
Created his own Infinity Gauntlet
Thus brought half of the universe back to existence (Bruce snapped and partially sacrificed his health, but nothing would be possible without Tony)
Saved Bruce’s arm by providing emergency medical care
Fought with Thanos again and…
Saved the whole Universe
Iron Man 1 really said "the actual bad guy is the white capitalist who is selling arms under the table to both sides in order to extend the war and make as much money from it as possible," and Iron Man 2 really said "the white capitalist who gives a platform to people with bad intentions in order to make a buck is the reason the bad intentions have the opportunity to prosper and cause untold damage," and Iron Man 3 really said "the real terrorist is the white capitalist who will create and use fear to manipulate governments and the public in order to sell a product," and I really don't think enough people recognise this.
Anakin Skywalker being that bitch, 41BBY— (ft ‘The Revenge of the Sith’ by Matthew Stover)
Now that I’m older, it’s occurred to me that Jack Sparrow really does play the role of the mentor figure in Curse of the Black Pearl. He’s definitely a very cleverly subversive take on the trope, but he is a take on it nonetheless; The older figure who teaches our young, hotshot hero how to act and passes on wisdom. “I knew your father.” An experienced member of a forbidden group that our protagonist learns to accept he is a part of. Acts as a call to action, and isn’t introduced until past the first few scenes of the film.
By contrast, Elizabeth and Will are established in the movie’s first scene, which further strengthens the actually hot take that they’re the main protagonists of the film and the trilogy as a whole, not Jack. Jack is just less recognizable as a mentor because he breaks a lot of the rules (more guidelines really) of the trope, and is treated as more than just a tool for our main character’s growth; He’s someone with his own life and wants and stake in this, too.
Jack Sparrow is ultimately the Gandalf, the Obi-Wan of Pirates of the Caribbean. And that leads me to my argument that PotC is the Star Wars of its generation, with its own Empire Strikes Back and everything. It’s got a lot of the same tropes and structure, but it’s mixed around and dressed up in such a unique way that most people fail to realize this at first glance.
Take for example, the dynamic of Davy Jones and Cutler Beckett… This is just Vader and Tarkin in A New Hope; A more iconic, supernatural threat, physically imposing, who is nevertheless subservient to Just Some Guy who is British and represents the Machine that strips the world of its magic and wonder. Vader and Jones are more romantic, they’ve got sad backstories and are humanized to the audience; But Tarkin and Beckett are banal and simple, just ruthless men who don’t care, like in real life.
But while Tarkin dies in the first film to make way for Vader taking the spotlight, as well as his similarly theatrical Emperor, the creators of PotC clearly wanted to explore the dynamic of a supernatural force straining against his imperial collar, and the tension of knowing he is contributing to the decline of his own kind. They took Vader and Tarkin’s relationship and made it front and center, happening at the end of the trilogy and not at its beginning. And it is Beckett and the imperial machine that is emphasized as the true evil, whereas in Star Wars, the Empire takes orders from Palpatine and his Dark Side shenanigans, who are framed as the foundation for the conflict.
The crew reinvented Star Wars for a new audience, rather than just… pulling off of the brand and imagery of Star Wars, or copying it word-for-word. They understood the core foundation of the story and the earnest creativity that comes into making something both familiar yet inarguably new, which subverts the stories that came before it in a meaningful manner.
idk
I love comics lettering and wanted to honor some iconic dialogue as well as have a little fun~
I'll have these as stickers at ECCC!
Gonna be singing this (and this) all night.
