Little Struggles

Little struggles

Parring: Penelope Garcia x Spencer Reid x Derek Morgan

Summary: Penelope comes home to an upset Spencer and Derek trying to comfort him. They help Spencer feel better.

Penelope is so excited to get home. Derek and Spencer took a personal day, while she wanted to join them. She was called in on an emergency and had to leave her little boy with his Daddy. It's not that they don't get along when Spencer's little, it's just that it's harder for Derek to understand him. She hurris op the stairs, so very exited to see her little boy and her co-caregiver and boyfriend after being gone until the night hours.

When she opens the door, she's greeted with a sence she's not happy to see. Derek's trying to get Spencer to take his fingers out from his mouth, and Spencer is having none of it. He's chewing on his fingers and he does not want a teether and he's in tears over this. Derek's desperately trying to calm his tears. "Mama!" Spencer's cries are muffled as he rushes Penelope. She takes him into her embrace and he burries his head into her neck. Derek follows behind him, bright purple teether in his hand. He greets his girlfriend with a kiss. She gives him a very clear look.

What the hell is happending? What did you do?

Derek shrugs and Pen rubs Spencer's back. "Oh baby boy" Penelope snuggles her head into his as she contiues to rub his back. Spencer snuggles close and Penelope knows what she has to do next. She grabs ahold of Spencer's legs and hoists her sweet baby op around her hips. Spencer sniffles and wraps his arms around her neck. Derek sighs quietly as Pen brings their baby to the couch. They all settle down and Penelope motions for the teether. Derek slides op close to them, laying an arm around penelope. She taps Spencer's cheek lightly. Spencer pulls back, still chewing on his two middle fingers.

"You know you can't keep chewing on your fingers, you'll hurt yourself. I'm actaully pretty sure it's already hurting you and that's why you're so upset. So you wil either take this teether, or Daddy wil get you a pacifier. Okay? we just want our sweet baby to be happy"

Spencer slips his fingers from his mouth, still crying slightly and sniffling. "Paci please?" Derek's already op before Spencer gets to please. "That's better, no need for tears baby boy" She uses her thumb to wipe his tears away. It only makes Spencer cry even more. " 'm sorwy Mama" He cries, useing his balled op hands to wipe away more tears. Pen contiues to rub his back soothingly as her little cries. Penelope grabs a tissue and wipes Spencer's face clean of tears and snot. "It's okay, i think you owe Daddy an apology too, don't you?" She asks, almost completely sure he's given Derek a hard time. Spencer nods, lips draw into a sad pout. Derek returns with Spence's favouite pacifier, a kinda clear, plain, light purple pacifier.

Derek goes to pop the pacicfier in his mouth, and he looks rather confused when Spence's hands come op in claws and he pushes it back. Derek glances to Penelope for back-op, she nods towards Spencer. The little grabs his Daddy's hand, glancing to Derek's eyes for a breif moment before focusing on his collarbone instead. " 'm sorwy for givin you a hard time Daddy" Spence mumbles. Derek sighs happliy, holding the pacifier infront of Spence's mouth. "Thank you sweet boy, but it'll be a better apology if you take your pacifier now"

Spence leans forward and takes the pacifier into his mouth even though Derek's not let go of it yet. Derek craddles his cheek as Spence absentmindedly begins to suck on the pacifier. "There's my good little boy, where have you been all day?" Derek teases, dragging his finger tips over Spence's neck, tickling the small boy. Spence wiggles and squeals in Penelope's lap. Penelop tickles his sides and Spence tries to slap all their hands away but fails. He contiues to squeal and wiggle so much that the pacifier drops from his mouth and his gigles and squeals fill the apartment. Penelope's heart melts at her little Spence having fun. "Stop!" Spencer cries with a pout, mood suddenly turing sour again without something to chew or suck on. They do, and Pen grabs his pacifier from between them. She offers it to him and he takes it easyliy, settling down. "Are we having a hard day baby?" Penelope asks, hoping for more insight to her little's mood. Derek pets his cheek. "Yeah, I think we're having a rough day"

"Don't say that, you don't know how he feels about today" Penelope angrily whispers as she leans closer to Derek. "You haven't been with him all day" Derek hisses back.

Spencer whimpers, scrambling off Penelope's lap and down into the counrer of the living room curling into a sad ball of tears. "Oh, sweet boy i didn't mean it like that, i just..." Derek hurries op and to the crying little. Penelop follows, staying a step away to give Spence an exit route. Derek tries to comfort him, but Spence shys futher away from him. "Little one" Penelope crouchs down "We didn't mean to upset you. We wanna help, can you tell Mama and Daddy what you need to feel better?"

Spence stops rocking and takes the pacifier from his mouth, starting to mumble as he stares at his own feet. Penelope can't understand him at all. She glances to Derek, who also can't understand him. He conitues to mumble and cry. Eventually Spence throws himself at Derek. While Derek is confused, he takes the hysterical boy into his lap. Peneplope slides op next to them and lays an arm around Derek. "Baby, Mama isn't sure she quiet understands what it is you want. Are you hungry? Cause Mama wil get you a snack if that's it" She asks. Spencer turns his head, pacifier back in his mouth. He nods a bit. Penelope smiles. "Okay, Mama wil get you a snack. How else are we feeling? You comfy in those clothes?" Pen asks, gently tugging on Spence's shirt. Spence shrugs and Derek follows his expressions closely. "Oh, ah!" Derek curses himself. "This is my fault, i'm sorry" You both look to him in confusion. Spencer more confused as to why Derek's taking the fall for his behaviour. "Why got op early to say goodbye to Mama and we were gonna stay op and then you'd" He boops Spencer's nose. "Take a nap later, but I forgot" Derek sighs to himself. It all clicksfor Penelope "You're grumpy because you're a little sleepy bug! So Mama's gonna fix you a snack" Penelope pushes herself off the floor. She ruffles Spencer's hair. "While Daddy gets you ready for bed" She hints to Derek, gently pinching his shulder before walking to the kitchen. "Alright kiddo, let's get you in your pj's"

Penelope fixes a small kid's plate of, crackers, apple slides with peanutbutter, two small string cheese's with a juice box. Derek brings back a clearly sleepy Spencer dressed in his little pj's. Penelope brings the snack to the couch and Derek brings Spencer. They settle down with Spencer sat in Derek's lap as he eats his snack. Normally the two would give Spencer a bath 20 mintes before bedtime to give his hair time to dry. But they'll have to skip it tonight, she doubts he'd stay awake long enough for a bath. Spencer eat about half before turing it away. Penelope sets it away in the fidge. Penelope finds herself tired too.

They all snuggle op in bed with Spencer in the middle. Spence yawns and turns to snuggle with Derek. Penelope wraps her arms around Spencer's wasit as Spencer snuggles op to Derek. Derek take him into his arms. Derek kisses Spence's forehead. The little one is asleep in minutes. So is Penelope.

I'm sorry but Morgan knocking Reid to the ground in s1 ep 6, L.D.S.K. Is just the best. Just the

'Reid'

'what?'

'Reid get down' and then Morgan just throws him to the ground!

Little Spencer

You know something is wrong when Spencer calls you from a damn payphone. Your first thought is obvious, did he shoot op? And if so, where in all of hell is he. "Can you come get me?" his voice is shaky, with a small hint of desperation "Are you high Spence?" you blurt out, sticking a hand on your hip for stability. "What? no, no I'm not high" you expected him to sound offended, not sad and small. He doesn't ask the question again. "Where are you?" you ask, grabbing your keys off the counter. "Main, down on Ashely, by Reliy's cafe" He gulp's. "I'll come get you, but you better tell me what's going on right know" You demand, slipping on your shoes.

"I, I need you" "What?" You struggle to put your coat on with one arm. He needs you, what does that mean "I, need. I'm feel sm-tired. I just need to be home right now" He stammers. Small, he almost said small. Oh god it's really happening. He's regressing. Just like the therapist suggested he should try to. "Small? Are you feeling small honey?" you ask, trying to hide a smile. "Yes, a little. Will you please come get me?" It's the closest he can get to begging in public without getting some damn sassy side eye. You close the door and slide the key in. "I will, one little thing first. Why are you calling from a payphone and not your cellphone?" You ask, enjoying your own word play. You hurry down the stairs. There's a small noise over the line. A whimper. "It's dead" he admits. "Okay, is the team with you?" You ask, unlocking the car and switching the call to your ear piece and tossing your phone in the glove compartment. "Yes" "I need you to stay with them, i don't want you wandering off and getting hurt. Can you find Morgan?"

"Mogan's not here, he's with Rossi" He says. "Who is there? Who can keep an eye on you until i get there?" You ask, turning out from your housing block. It's a short drive, luckly. Only 6 minutes to get to Ashely down on main. You hope Specer is okay "I don't need a babysitter" He grumbles, most likely crossig his arms. "If you need me to get you, then you might need a babysitter. Now tell me who's there" You demand, turning down the street. "Garcia, and JJ" He says, mostly certainly pouting slightly at this point. "Then go ask Garcia for a hug. Tell her you don't feel well and that I've asked her to keep an eye on you until i get there. Tell her I'm worried sick about you and I'm breaking every traffic law to come get you" You instructs, turning down the last street, only 3 minutes now. There's a giggly excitement in your stomach. Spencer's doing what the therapist told him too, he's finally letting the therapy have effect. "Okay, she's in the store I'm gonna go" Spencer mumbles. "Good, I'll be there in 3 , stay with Pen" You say right before the line cuts out. You heave a sigh of happiness, stepping firmly on the gas.

You park right by the payphone, finding Spencer and Penelope sitting on a bench outside. Spencer's dressed the same way he was yesterday, purple button op with a dark grey vest over it and dark blue jeans. Penelope is of course, fussing over him, asking why he didn't say something sooner. You open your arms for him and he melts into your hold. You give Penelope a thank you, nod before taking Spencer to the car. While you knew he wasn't going to be publicly showing off the fact that he's feeling small, you thougt, or hoped he at least looked a little off. No pun intented. Spencer settles into the passager seat, something you've gotten use to. You squeeze his hand, trying to find some clue to his headspace. He doesn't say a word, only gently squeezing back. You smile, either he's too embarrsed to talk, or he can't. You lean over and buckle him in. "I'm gonna take you home now, okay?" You ask, letting your hand run over his knee for a breif second. "Okay..." he mumbles, voice light and bittle as he lays his folded hands in his lap. "Hey.." you coo, laying a hand over his. "It's okay, tell me what's going on" You ask, letting him pull one hand out from under yours. He curls his hand op his chest. "Are you cold Baby?" You ask. He shakes his head lightly, starting to pout. "What's wrong then?" you coax, powering op the car. Spencer whimpers and you chuckle. "I don't speak whimper code Baby boy" you tease. He whimpers again, wiggling his feet. You glance over, what's he really saying? "What? Baby the only thing i think you might want right now, is to suck your thumb, but i know you don't want that because you find it unsanity" You say, trying not to chuckle. He nods, and you let yourself chuckle as he blushes. "There's baby wipes in the glovebox, clean your fingers, carefully under your nails, then go ahead" You instruct, pulling your hand to yourself. You focus on the road as you hear Spencer open the glovebox and grabbing the packet of wipes. He picks out one and begins to clean his hands. Then he takes another one and cleans under his fingers nails. "Aw, look at you. So smart" You praise, rounding the corner. Spencer puts the wipes back, bitting his lower lip. You catch his look of hesitation. You take a moment to decide if you should press or let him comfort himself about it. "It's okay, no one's gonna see you. It's just you and me" You say, laying a hand on his knee. You hear him whine quietly as he slips his thumb into his mouth. You think it might be a good idea to get a pacifier. It's more satiny, easier to keep clean. And you'd have control of it, you can't take his thumb away, but a pacifier you could. You can force a pacifier into his mouth, his thumb? not so much.

Woah woah woah! you are way too far into undiscussed territory. Dial it back for a second. Pacifiers, undiscussed, no consent given. You're gonna have to ask about that. Forced headspace, undiscussed, no consent given yet. You're gonna have to ask about that too. Any forcing a pacifier or anything into his mouth, not discussed! You finally pull op in front of your appartment block. You glance over to find Spencer half asleep with his thumb firmly in his mouth. You hate to do it, but you reach over and gently take his thumb out from his mouth. He whines a bit but let's you pull it out. "You can continue when we're inside, okay? Because right now, we gotta get you home" You wipe his wet thumb on you shirt and unbuckle his seatbelt. He nods and you get out from the car. He follows you closely op to the appartment, mostly because he can't stray far from you cause you've got an arm around his waist. Which is not something you usualy do, but, you wanted to. You get into the appartment and the second the door is closed, Spencer's sucking his thumb again. You focus, very hard to not chuckle. Because that's wildly insensitive. But maybe that pacifier is a good idea. You brush a hand over his hair. "You doing okay there baby?" You ask sweetly, as you guide him to the couch. He nods and you pet his back gently. He lays down on the couch without much proment, his eyes only half open. It's strange sight, Dr. Spencer Reid laying on your shared couch while sucking his thumb.

For one, you never dreamed you would share a home. Never dreamed you'd get Spencer into therapy. Never dreamed of this. You lay a blanket over him, leaning down to kiss his forehead. "Hey, you okay there baby boy?" You knell down in front of him. He's not really reacting to you, so you stoke hos cheek. He leans into your touch. Maybe you should get him into some more comfortble clothes. He shakes his head a bit. "Should i get you into some comfy clothes? Would that help?" You ask, continuing to stoke his cheek. He nods slightly, slipping his thumb out from his mouth. You want to tell him to keep it in his mouth, but you don't wanna push. He wipes his thumb dry on his shirt. "Yeah? okay. What do you say to.......sweats and a hoodie?" You ask, moving your hand to stoke his hair instead. His eyes are still only half open as he shakes his head. "No, okay. What about sweats and a sweatshirt?" You coo, hoping you've struck right with the clothes. He nods, and looks down to his thumb. You smile. "I'll get that for you baby, you just relax and suck your thumb if you want" You encourage. He slips it back in his mouth and wiggles a bit to settle comfortable on the couch. You smile even wider and hurry off to find the promised clothes. Oh, he's relaxing, and he's actually letting you take care of him. This is good. Really good. You find dark grey sweatpants, a black tanktop, and a light grey sweatshirt.

You find Spencer asleep, so you rouse him a bit before helping him sit op. He's still sucking his thumb as you pull the vest off him. It makes it a bit more difficult, but you don't mind. The soft cotton of the vest is a bit worn out and thin in some places. He's wearing it to death. You pull his shirt op from his pants and get to work unbuttoning it. You hear the pop of Spencer pulling his thumb from his mouth. "Mama?" He mutters. "Yeah baby?" You manage to get out in a reasonably coherent voice, or so you hope. Mama. Oh god, you were not expecting that. In any way. This morning he didn't even wanna talk about anything relating to therapy. Now he's calling you Mama. You slide the shirt off his shoulders and down off his arms. "I'm thirsty" he confesses. "Okay" You almost choke. Thirsty. He's thirsty. "I'll get you drink in a minute, what do you want sweetie?" You ask, picking op the tank top and he raises his arms and helps you along with getting it on. You slip the sweatshirt over his head. He shrugs, he's never been good at remreber what's in the fridge. You almost say coffee, but that doesn't feel right. "Apple juice?" You suggest, unbuttoning his pants. He blushes and pulls your hands away. This throws you for a loop. He's okay with you taking your shirt off, but not his pants. You hold out the pants, raising an eyebrow. "Do you wanna you try do it yourself Baby?" You ask, wondering just why it's okay to see him without a shirt, but not okay to see him his boxers. It's not like it'd be the first time.

He takes them from you, nodding. "Okay, you can absolutely do it yourself. Did you want some apple juice?" You ask again, chancing the topic to drinks. He nods and you head to the kitchen. Both to get him that damn juice, and to let yourself have a mini break down. You draw in a deep breath, bracing yourself on the kitchen counter. Juice. Apple juice. You find an old plastic cup you used when you'd broken your wrist and weren't trusted with actual glass glasses. You listen for any rustling. Has he finished changing yet? You draw in another deep breath. Okay, give Spence some juice, then what? What do you do then? it's midday, it's not even close to dinner time. Is it just cuddle time with some Tv? Would that take him out of the headspace? Or would it help? Okay, breathe. Breathe. Give your baby the juice, and let him deicde what he wants to do. You go back to the living room. Surprised that Spencer's not there. "Spence? Baby boo?" You call, setting the juice down on the coffee table. You hear a giggle from under the couch. Oh my. "Oh no!" You cry. "Where's my baby?" You bend down and pick op his clothes and start to fold them. "Oh no, I've lost my little Spencer where could he be?" You lay his folded vest down on the couch. Spencer's clearly hiddning under there, but maybe it's fun. It's gotta be fun. You lay a folded shirt aside, then his folded op jeans. You huff, hands on your hips. "Oh my, where's Mama's baby?" You falsely cry out. Then, Spencer sticks his head out from under the couch, smiling. "Here Mama!" "Oh my, there you are, you scared me" You lean down and pinch his cheek gently. You want to pick him op. But you're not sure you can, or that you'd be allowed to. He looks os cute, so sweet. You reach down and decide to try. If you fail, it'll be a fun mistake.

Spence giggles and laches onto your neck. You get an arm op under his legs, and he wiggles his feet. You smile to yourself, you can total carry him. Even if it's the last thing you do. You lift him op and dump him on the couch. He laughs as he bounces on the couch and your heart melts. You hand him the juice and he grabs it. You settle next to Spencer, watching closely as he finishes the drink in seconds. "Thank you" He sets the empty glass aside. "Your welcome baby" You say. He doesn't say anything for a few minutes, and you just wait. Hoping he'd eventually talk. When you realize he won't, you really wish there was someone there to help you with this. "Do you wanna watch some Tv?" You ask, in a hopefully tone. Spencer begins to pout and shakes his head. "What do you wanna do Baby?" You ask, trying desperately to make him feel happy again. You just want him to feel safe. Spencer shrugs, and quite frankly, you panic. You want to be a good caregiver for him, a good Mama but you've got no clue what you're doing right now. "D-Do you wanna play?" You ask, shifting closer and laying an arm around his shoulders. He pouts properly, violently shaking his head. "Okay, I'm kinda lost here Baby boy, what do you want?" You ask again, gently tugging on him. He turns to you, pouting and almost in tears. Oh no, no no no. No tears. He climbs ono your lap and wraps his arms around your neck. "Hi, hi Baby" You try to not franticly rub his back and give yourself away but you kinda fail. "You're okay Baby" You coax, letting him wrap his legs around you. Spencer rests his head on in the crook of your neck. Is he tired? is that it? "Are you sleepy?" You ask, shifting him slightly.

He nods, and you sigh in relief, petting his back soothingly. "Okay" you say, trying to keep yourself from asking a million questions. Does he want to sleep in your lap? Does he want to lay in bed? Does he need you to cuddle him to sleep? Does he need to lay down on the couch? You're about half way through every posble question when you hear Spencer snorring on your shoulder. Oh, oh. Sleep. He's sleeping. You grab his phone, okay power nap. How long is a normal power nap. What did Spencer say? 10 to 20 minutes, right? Okay, um, 20 minutes. You set a timer. What can do in 20 minutes? Better yet, what can you do with a sleeping Spencer in your lap? You can't do much with a sleeping baby in your lap. Wil the alram wake you too? Yeah, yeah it wil. You close your eyes, you deseve a nap too. You close your eyes.

You wake to a slight tugging, there's no alram blarring. Did you sleep through it? "Mama?" It's Spencer. You blink a few times, trying to open your eyes. "Yeah?" You anwser, shifting and feeling the heavy weigt on you. He leans into your neck, snuggling close the way a cat would. You wrap your arms around him. "Wake op Mama" "I'm awake" You say, pulling his face from your neck and kissing him. "I'm awake Baby" You repeat, squzzing him. He squeals. "Did you have a good nap?" You ask, setting your feet firmly on the floor. He nods, smiling wildly. "Good, good. You hungry?" You get to your feet with Spencer in your arms. "Mama!" He squeals, wrappinng his legs irmly around you. "Mhmm, you hugry Baby?" you ask again, ignoing his squealing. "Ah, mhmm" he half bites into his lower lip. "Yeah, that makes sense it's almost dinner time. And i know exactly what do to make" You say, and you mean it. "I don't get a say?" Spencer half whines, wiggling n your hold. "No, a baby shouldn't have to worry about food. Mama's got it" You coo, setting him down on the kitchen island. Something about his eyes seem different. Maybe it's just the warm kitchen light but you swear his eyes seem more dark. Like you're said something you weren't suppose to. Or that you've said something you should have said hours ago. Which remains unknown as you grab the bag that's been waiting in the fridge since your last therapy appointment. Well, bags. There are 4 in the fridge. Chicken nuggets, fries, and a small mix of veggies. The whole thing can fit in your biggest pan. Oh shoot, what are you gonna eat? Mhmmm.

Oh, make Spencer food, get him to eat while you make yourself something. Yeah, that makes. You pour some oil on the pan, then carefully place the food in different spaces on the pan. Knowing that Spencer's not a fan off food all mixed op. "Mommy?" Comes a small, brittle, voice. You turn in under a second. He's still sitting on the island, pouting slightly. "Yeah?" You answer, nodding. Okay, don't freak out. First Mama, now Mommy. Does that mean something? Don't regressors typically stick to one honorific? Is he just trying it out? Oh god calm down, don't let him see you freak out. He reaches out for you with both arms. You giggle a bit. "Okay" You say, leaving the pan for a moment to hoist him op on your hip. it's not easy to hold him with one arm, but you manage. You need to train your arms, you want to be able to hold him like this without issue. He snuggles into your neck. "Better?" You ask. "Mhmm"

So you have dinner, but you spend every second worrying he's gonna hurt himself with the fork. You decide you need child utensils, and a child plate. Oh god, you need a list. Garcia will help, right? she loves to shop. You will need to explain, and that's if Spencer's okay with you talking to her about it. "Mommy?" he asks from you chest. You've settled on the couch with him atop you. "Yeah?" You answer again, brushing a hand over his hair. "Can i....mhmm" he looks down to his hands. Seeming embarrassed again. You giggle lightly and reach for the pack of wet wipes you brought in from the car earlier. "Give me your hand" He does, like a good boy. This time, you clean his hand for him. Turning the wipe over, you carefully clean under the nail. You bend his thumb and stick it in his mouth. "There you go. I need to get you a pacifier, don't i?" You ask, hoping to coax an answer from him. He immediately starts to suck his thumb, blushing a bit. He doesn't answer, and so you bring a hand down and tap his back lightly. "Baby, how do you feel about a pacifier? I'm serious" He burries his face down in your chest. "Baby, I'm serious. Answer me please" You say. Spencer lays his head sideways, thumb tucked firmly in his mouth. You're first instinct is to threaten to take away the thumb sucking. But, you catch yourself, this is for him, not you. "Is it hard to talk?" You ask, rubbing his back. He nods, glancing op at you for a brief moment. "Okay, Pacifier. No?" You ask, he doesn't react. "Pacifier, Yes?" You ask, letting out a breath as he nods. You run a hand over his hair. "Okay, can you hand Mommy that paper pad and that pen?"

You take it from him and lay it on Spencer's shoulder to be able to write. "I'm gonna write some things down, and i need you to cross them out if you're not okay with it. Can you do that Sweetie?" You coax gently. You see him nod from the corner of your eye and you can't help but smile. After a bit more scribbling you hand the pen and paper to Spencer. You coo over him as he reads it. But when he hunches over the list you back off a bit, petting his back instead. it takes him a few minutes, which is how you know he's really thinking about it. He hands it back to you.

Pacifiers

Teethers

Kid plates and utensils

Bottles

onesies

Toys

Colouring books

Talking with Garcia about your regesstion

Talking to Morgan about your regression

Talking with Emliy about your regression

You smile and lay the papper aside. "Baby, you know if Garcia knows, they others might end op knowing at some point? Are you okay with that?" You ask. Spencer nods. "Okay" You say, brushing a hand over his hair again. Spence shifts to lay on top of you, and snuggles close to your chest. You feel like a puddle under him. This is the best day you've had in a while. It doesn't take long for Spence to fall asleep again. This must be tiring for him. You grab your phone off the coffee table. As you flip open your cover your phones lights op with a million different texts from the team. You're happy know the team cares so much. You stoke his hair and neck as he snores. You go on the round of responses, when you get to Garcia. You decide you need a phone call with your girl. She picks op on the first ring.

"Wonder woman at your servise" Penelope says over the line. "Hey Pen, I just wanted to let you know Reid's alright" You say, continuing to pet Spencer's hair. Spencer does this cute little meow kinda noise. "Aww, is that the mini genius?" She gasps. "Yeah. Um, listen. On the topic of mini genius" You drawl. "Oh god, tell me he's not leaving. I'm begging you" She pleads. "No, no" You say, continue to pet his hair. "He's not leaving, but there's something i want you to know. But you can not tell the others yet" You say quietly but firmly. "Oh my goodness, of course please spill Girl" She happily chimes. "It's not really that kinda tea but, have you ever heard of age regression?"

"Umm, yeah I've more then heard of it"

"Well, Spencer is a little. And i need some help with shopping for little things, it's online but I'd like your help, if you comfortable" You blurt out, hoping that if you got it out fast, then the rejection would be easier to handle. "Oh Mama you are on. Any ideas?" "I'll send you a list of things I'm looking for" You smile. And that's how you two weeks later end op with a 'care packet' from Garcia. A box of two pacifiers, a teether, a blue set of child plates and utensils, a light purple kid's sport water bottle with a bite valve, and the thing Spencer grabbed from the box the second he saw it. A white polar bear stuffie. You sent Penelope a handwritten thank you note.

Memories

As Nico and I settle into bed, I'm twisting and turning way more then usual. I can hear Nico snoring beside me, and I try not turn onto him. I've been up since 5 this morning, so I stupidly thought that I won't have trouble falling asleep. After a rather harsh turn, Nico stops snoring. Fuck. "Jacey?" He asks groggily. I twist on my side to look at him in the darkness of night. "Mhm" I murmur, my head starting to ache in the not surprisingly hot Zeus cabin. "What's-" He start, a yawn cutting him off. "Up?" he asks, snuggling to keep his eyes up. "I can't sleep" I mutter out. A sleepy Nico shuffles closer and tucks himself into my body, wrapping his arms around my hips. "Bed" He murmurs into my neck, sending a shiver down my spine. "Could you lay differently?" I ask, holding Nico helps but I find sleeping a lot easier with a weight on top of me. He makes a sound of agreement. "Up?" He asks, detangling himself from me to resettle where I want him. "Yes please" I say. My tired boyfriend moves onto top of me, getting comfortable with his head in my neck. He rests his hands on my shoulders and hums into my neck. Sending another shudder down my back. The very last bit of stress is pressed out of me as he rests his body on mine. Nico is maybe ten kg smaller then me, but that's still enough weight to keep me down and calm. With Nico sleeping on me, I can't twist and turn anymore. I feel a lot safer sleeping with Nico. My body grows heavy, and I fall into a deep sleep.

Next thing I know, I'm back at Camp Jupiter, at my first training. They expected so much of me, I was Jupiter's son, I had to know how to fight. When I didn't take to it right away, everyone was disappointed. The sword drops from my hand and the other kids my age laugh and point. I remember running away in tears. I hid away into my bunk, crying under the covers. Then I'm thirteen again, standing in front of the whole camp, I'm holding a speech. The same speech the older campers always wanted me to repeat. I remember that standing there, on that stage, and just feeling the weight of the world settling on my shoulders. It was the first time I realized that no matter what I said or did, I would always be a son of Jupiter first, and a person second. I still feel that way a lot of the time. Never with Nico though. Nico treats me like a person, which is a low bar. But I have to admit, that's what made me fall for him, he actually cared about me, my feelings and my hobbies. Guess I'm just a sucker for anyone who treats me like person. The image changes again, I'm running into the forest at Camp Jupiter. I don't quite remember this. I'm, maybe eight. Crying, I climb up in a tall tree. What happened? I don't recall this at all. Everything else has been memories, why isn't this? A couple boys come running into the forest, their face are blurred and almost non existing. They all look around for me and yell for me to come. What is this even? I'm hiding in the treetop. There's something on my face, it that blood? Why is there blood on my nose? Did I get hurt? Did I fall? Did they do that? Fear sets in and my blood runs cold. All of a sudden, I lose my footing. This is a memory. Fuck how did I forget. I brace for the impact, but there's nothing. The forest is completely quiet. The boys are starring at up at me. I peel my eyes up and a shook of fear runs through my body. I'm floating in mid-air, legs curled up with my arms up around my ears. I hold back a scream and grab for a branch. I cultch my hands around it, and for some reason, I stay afloat. The time I figured out I could fly. The five boys run from me screaming. Gravity takes hold and I fall. I try to hold onto tree, but the branch is too fragile, and it snaps with the strain of my weight. I crash to the ground, the second my face hits the dirt.

I startle up in bed. Nico's rolled off me sometime during the night. My chest's tight, I can't breathe, it's like my throat is closing. I wrap my arms around myself, hands steady on my bare shoulders. I bury my head into my crossed arms. My heartbeat is drumming in my ear. It feels like I just ran from one end of camp to the other. I only notice that I've been rocking back and forth when I feel the blanket on the end of bed touch my legs. Fuck. I glace over to the alarm clock on my nightstand. 4:35, you have got to be kidding me. I have to be up in two hours. The sun is already slowly rising, making the sky a light yellow that fades to blue. "Fuck" I mumble sniffling. Warm tears roll down my cheeks. Through my blurry vison I look over at Nico, he's peacefully sleeping. Should I? I shouldn't. I wipe away the tears. Just because I woke up doesn't he has to get up as well. I swing my legs over the side of the bed, getting out of bed as quietly as I can. There's a cold sweat running down my back, I'm shivering. As I pull a hoodie over my head. I spot a window open, I didn't open any window. Maybe Nico opened it. I can go outside in sweatpants, right? Yeah, yeah, it's fine. I slip on my shoes, stopping by the door to hear if Nico's sleeping. There's a small, gentle snoring. Thank the gods I didn't wake him.

The door creaks a little as I open it. Just as I close it, I realize that leaving maybe isn't the best idea. If I go on a walk, and Nico wakes up, he won't know where I am, and then I'll get an earful for not telling him or leaving a note. Nico worries a lot, but I don't mind, most of the time anyway. I'm not going back inside, I need some air. I throw myself down the steps of the Zeus cabin. I guess I'll just sit here for a while. I breath in the sweet morning air. My heartbeat slowly returns to normal. Even though I know it was only a memory, the fear has settled deep in my stomach. More tears fight to fall, and I give up. I lay my head on my knees, the tears rolling down and soaking into the soft fabric. Fucking shit. I sniffle, wrapping my arms around my legs to stay stable. At least no one else is awake to see me like this. I hiccup, damn it. I rock a bit, trying to calm my nerves. I sniffle again and lift my head, dragging my sleeve over my wet eyes. I hear a small creaking behind me, did I not close the door properly? There's a small hand on my shoulder. I twist my head to look at him. A half sleep Nico is standing behind me without a shirt on. "What's wrong?" He yawns, tangling his hand into my hand. "Just a, bad dream. Bad memoires" I shallow down the cold worry that had set in my throat. He gently tugs my head up, leaning down to kiss my forehead. "I'm sorry honey" He ruffles my hair then lets go. His sweet voice makes the fear in my stomach disappear. Another tear presses past my eye, and Nico's soft hand reaches down and wipes it away. "Come back to bed, it's too earlier" He pleads. I nod and push myself of the steps. As I stand facing Nico, he reaches up and slings his arms around my neck. He leans up and snuggles his head against my neck. "You'll be okay" He whispers and kisses my cheek. He gets down and laces his hand with mine. He pulls me back inside.

Sniffling, I close the door behind me. "Sorry" I mutter. "Don't you dare be" He yawns again, he never gets up this early. I've had to get up at four a couple of time, I'm a little mere use to it. A sleepy Nico spins me around to the side of the bed. "I love you" He murmurs pulling me in for a hug. I let myself sink into his arms, not bothering to hold back the tears. I mumble the same words back to him, but I don't think he can understand a word that comes out of my mouth. "You're okay" He whispers running his hand up my back. I sniffle, my nose is all stuffed up. A very tired Nico sits down on the edge of the bed, he gently tugs at my waist. I take the cue, shifting down with my legs on either side of him. His warm arms wrap around my middle. I cry into his shoulder, my tears rolling down his chest. "What was it about?" He asks, twisting a hand in my hair. "I, I-" I shake my head against his shoulder. I can't, it's too much. "Okay Honey, it's okay, I got you" He murmurs, gently running a hand up my back. He plays with my hair as we sit in the silence of an early morning. After maybe twenty minutes of straight up sobbing on his shoulder. I try to talk, but it's childlike babbling through even more tears. "Baby" He pleads, gentle hands pulling my head from his shoulder my cheeks. "You don't have to talk, okay?" He says wiping my tears with his thumb. "If you want, of course you can. But if it's only upsetting you more, then you don't have to, okay? I know it's hard" He reassures, leaning in and resting his forehead against mine. Tears roll down my chin, I whimper and throw my arms around my neck. We sit here for gods know how long. By the time I stop crying, the has risen into the morning sky, and my head is being spilt in half by a headache. "Come on, you need some sleep" Nico pats my back. Through still slightly blurry eyes I glace over at my alarm clock. Fuck, I can't. It almost 6 : 35, I have to get up soon anyway. "I, I can't" My voice is hoarser then I've ever heard myself sound. "I've class soon" I sniffle, I clear my throat and it hurts. "No, No you don't" Nico shakes his head, tugging me closer to him. "You didn't fall asleep until one this morning, and you been up since when? Four? " "4:35, I'm fine I should-"

"No" He says, getting a bit stern with me. "Bed" "Nico plea-" "No. You make me sleep after a night like this. You are going back to bed" He insists. I sigh, he's right. I do. Guess there's no way out of this. I'll tell Chiron later. "Could I have some water first?" I ask, wiping my runny nose on my sleeves. "Of course" He mumbles. I move off his lap and look for the bottle of water I brought back from dinner last night. I find it on my desk and down the half empty bottle. It feels like my head is being spilt open on sizzling asphalt. As I shallow the last bit, the tiredness takes it's troll on me and I stumble to my dresser. Nico's walking around, drawing the brand-new curtains he had the Hephaestus cabin install here so that I didn't have to walk to his cabin every time I have a migraine. I throw my now dirty hoodie off, it's covered in tears and snot. I dump it into my laundry basket and find a new one to wear. "Do you, want a shirt?" I sniffle. "Yes please" Nico makes his voice ten times lighter then normal. I laugh, finding an old hoodie of mine and throwing it in his face. "Hey!" He chuckles, bring his knee up to catch it. He pulls it on and walks over to me. "Come on, it is past your bedtime mister" He jokes patting me on the backside. I fake a gasp. "My bedtime? I have a bedtime?" I grab his shoulders. "Mhm, don't forget your naptime either" He leans up and kisses me. I let myself relax with his lips on mine, gently moving with him for a little bit. He pulls away. "Now no more avoiding, to bed with you" "I wasn't" "Yeah yeah shut it, bed" He says removing my hands from his shoulder. I sling my arms around his neck and tug him closer by it. "Mhm?" "You been up with me, so to bed with you too" I say. "That was the plan Honey" He mumbles letting me drag him to bed by his neck. As we tumble into bed together, Nico says something I don't quite catch. "What?" I ask, laying down on my side of the bed. Nico drags me into the middle and lays over me. "You are so" He bops my nose. "Cute" I feel a small blush come onto my already red cheeks. I pull the blanket over us. My eyes have grown very heavy and so it's no problem closing my eyes. "Jacey?" He mumbles "Mhm?"

"When you're ready to talk about it, I'm here. You know that, right?"

"Yeah, I know"

Pie

You had tried just asking him, no dice. Make him his favourite meal and lots of it, hoping he's eat him to a state of sleepiness, but he was still op until 4 am, now just with more energy. Then you tired talking to him about medicine, that was a hell no. Which lead you to, more natural remedies, it took you days to find the right things. But, you got it.

So here you are, mixing blueberries, cut op raspberries, cut op strawberries, and Goji berries in a bowl. You're making pie for dresset tonight and Spencer better like it, or at least take pity on you and eat it. You pour the berry mix into waiting pie dish. Then you pour sugar over it before laying the lace dough on top.

When you set the pie on the table in front if him, Spencer's mouth waters. You knocked it out of the park tonight. You smile as he has another piece, hopping, praying it will at least help. Spencer glances op to you, a bit of berry juice around his mouth. "Is there something on my face?" He asks, putting his fork down. You reach over with a napkin "Yes" You wipe the juice off his mouth. "But please, keep eating"

The two of you are settled on the couch, it's not been a long day so when Spencer leans in close to you, it surprises you, it does seem out of place for him to cuddle op to so early in the evening. You gently wrap an arm around his waist. "You alright baby?" You ask, toying with his long hair. His eyes are almost closed. "I'm very tired for some reason"

"Mhm" You hum, moving to lay under him so he could lay fully on you, the way he slept best. "I may have had a part to play in that" Spencer's eyes flutter open to look at you. "Excuse me?" He asks, his favourite way of asking to expand on your sentences.

"The pie, I promise there was no medicine in it but the berries in it, help with sleep. Blueberries, raspberries and strawberries have antioxidants, raspberries and Goji berries also have melatonin" You gently brush some hair behind his ear. Spencer smiles, struggling to keep his eyes open.

"You, baked a pie for me, so I'd get some rest?"

"Yes, i did, and it seems to have worked"

Spencer smiles and lays his head down on your shoulder. "Thank you darling...I suspose I needed the help"

"You're welcome Baby, now rest, I'll be here when you wake op"

4 am.

Spencer is wake at 4am reading, you making him go back to bed.

You find yourself waking op in darkness, you glance to your alarm, t's 4 am.

You softy reach out, finding only cold sheets where Spencer should be. You turn over fully, searching for Spencer. When you find nothing at all, you tramble out of bed, panicking.

You flick on your reading light. Your first thought is to call Hotch, but you need to be sure that Spencer's gone and not just in the bathroom. You pull on the shirt Spencer left on the floor when you went to bed.

You grip your phone tightly as you check through the living room, then the kitchen, then the bathroom, you're about to call the whole team and tell them Spencer is missing when you hear a chair creaking.

You walk to your shared study, seeing light on beneath the door. You gently crack the door and sigh happily as you see Spencer sitting at his desk with at least 7 different books.

"Spence..." You call, rubbing your eyes. Spencer quickly turns around, hair a mess, only in his underwear and glasses and with a bit of blue pen ink on his fingers. "H-Hey..." Spencer croaks. Your shoulders sag.

"It's 4 in the morning, what the hell are you doing Spence?" You ask, walking to Spencer and grabbing both his shoulders.

"JJ called.....needed help with some chemical stuff and I, just got invested" Spencer blushes in the yellow light of the study. You lean your head on his.

"Have you learned what you needed?"

"Yes..." Spencer mutters, pushing his glasses further op on his nose. That makes you smile a bit. "Then call JJ and then you are coming back to bed"

Spencer looks down in shame. "What? Out with it Baby, now" You demand, squeezing his shoulders "I, already have" Spencer mumbles, refusing to look at you.

You grab his chin and force him to look op. "We'll talk about this tomorrow, you are coming back to bed and cuddling me" You drag him op from the chair. Spencer nods and lays his glasses by the books.

"Of course, it's early morning and we should be sleeping" Spencer relents. You press a kiss on Spencer's cheek. "Mm, now come on, Bed" You say before dragging him back to your bedroom.

You toss the shirt you were wearing back on the floor. You settle in bed with him. Spencer opens his arms for you to tuck yourself into, and so you do. Snuggling op close to him.

"When did JJ call?" You ask, laying your head in the crook of his neck. "At 3:43 am"

"Damn it Spence, i, never-" You yawn. "mind, it's fine, but promise me, the next time the team calls at night, you find what they need, then go back to bed. Okay?" You tell him, wrapping an arm around him, feeling the skin of his back.

"I will, promise" Spencer says with a small nod, tracing circles on the skin of your lower back.

"Good"