They/Them. Dyslexic. (18)

86 posts

Good Night

Good night

Spencer and y/n

You been on the phone with Spencer for a few hours now, and while you love talking to him, it's late and you are getting tired. Very tired. You lay down on your shared bed, phone still pressed to your ear.

"Spence, baby" You say, sleep trying to pull you into it's grasp. You slip under the covers, warming your body.

"Yes?" Spencer sounds so awake you're jealous of his awakeness.

"You know i love you, right?" You ask, yawning as you rub your eyes. Spencer gulps and whispers to you in a nervous tone.

"I've been talking for too long, haven't I?" Spencer asks, suddenly nervous and sad.

"No, no baby i love hearing you talking it just, it's 3 in the morning for me and I'm really tired" You chuckle lightly, hoping you aren't hurting his feelings by cutting him off. You rub your eyes as you wait for a response.

"It's 3 am for you? Why didn't you say so? it's only 1 am here. You should go to bed" Spencer almost sounds like a kid being told their friend is sick, concerned.

"Oh, right, you're like, on the other side of the country. Yeah, you should get some sleep too okay?" You say, plugging your changer into your phone.

"Yes, of course Dear"

"Good night Spence"

"Good night"

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More Posts from Lover-i-lover

1 year ago

Sweater

you look around in your and Spencer's shared closet, runing your hand over every shirt, trying to pick a good shirt for the rainy day. It's chill out and while your appartment is heated, it's still chilly enough to need a long sleved shirt. Since your favioute sweatshirt is in the wash, you're looking for another comfortable shirt. Spencer's been called away for a missing child, so at worst, he'll be home early tomorrow, if it's good he might be home in a few hours.

You've just run your hand down your last swearer, finding the material rough and unforgiving for you today. You run a hand down over the sweater that separate your side and Spencer's side of the closet. The feeling of the soft cotton sends a shiver down your spine, that's it. That's the one you want. Spencer's dark blue, light but warm sweater. You pull the sweater off the hanger and pull it on over your t-shirt. You press your nose to the fabric, breathing in the smell of Spencer's deodorant and cologne.

You settle on te couch with a hot mug of tea. You mind wanders to the case. Spencer muttered off some details to you bofre he left this morning. A 7 year old boy went missing from a church youth program, when his mother came to get him, the program leader said his grandfather had picked him op, but the boy doesn't have a living grandarent. It's case like these that make you not want kids. You'd love to have a family with Spencer, but cases where kids go missing from safe places, they creep you out.

While you don't want the church going, white fence or classic nuclear family, you'd like a kid or two, not more then three though. The idea of a family life with Spencer, it would be tough, with his job, but you'd really love it. Life in a home with some good land and a few kids runing around outside. You sip the hot tea, bringing yourself back to your reality, there's nothing you can do to help the boy. All you can do is be there for Spencer when he comes home, to keep him ready and able to help when another boy goes missing.

You take another sip, relaxing as the liquid warms your throat and stomach, making you feel cozy and safe as you snuggle op under a blanket. You're not sure when Spencer left, it was either late last night or early this morning, it was dark out. That much you are sure of, it was dark out. You hope it's not raining where ever in the country Spencer is at the mommnet. You don't even remember if said where he was going. Does it matter though? isn't a missing kid a missing kid no matter where they are from? You finish off your mug of tea, craving for another. You drag yourself op from the couch, needing some golden goodness. As you're stirring in your milk and sugar, Spencer comes back through your front door seemingly in disstressed. You grab another cup, kowing Spencer's wil either want tea or coffee. "Hi honey" You greet, watching as Spencer drops his bag with no regard for it's safetly on the floor. "Tea?" You ask, lifting his normal coffee cup. "Yes please" He nods, sheding his shoes and jacket. You never wore shoes inside, when you told Spencer this, he insitsted he'd do it too.

"Do you-" "He wasn't alive when we got there, he was dead within the hour he was taken" Spencer sighs, joining you in the kitchen. "I'm so sorry" You mumble, pouring Spencer a cup of tea. Spencer stands behind you, tucking himself close to you as he wraps his arms around you. "It's not your fault, it's the bastered who took him fault"

"i know, but still" You say, stirring a few teaspoons of sugar into the tea. Spencer's always had a sweet tooth, sweet tea and sweet coffee are a must. "Mhmm" Spencer adknowledges your statement, resting his head in the crook of your neck. "I don't wanna think about it anymore, i'm home now" Spencer presses himself closer to you.

"Of course" You say, crading your neck to let him snuggle close to your skin. His breath on your neck makes you shiver, but you let him, knowing the scent of you always calms him. "Thank you" He mutters. You tap his arm and he let's go of you. You give him the hot mug, and he takes it, tugding to the cough with you following behind with your own tea. You sit down nex to Spencer, leaning into him slightly.

"Is that my sweater?" He asks, laying an arm around your shoulders. You find yourself flushing. "It may be" You say, setting your mug down on the small coffee table. "You look, wonderfull in it" Your reponse is muffled by Spencer leaning in and pressing his warm, sweet lips to yours. You lay a hand on his chest in surprise. It takes you a second to kiss back, grabbing his collar with one hand and wrapping your other arm around his neck. He pulls back a second, catching his breath. "Was this on purpose?" He heaves and you stramble to know what he's asking you.

After a momment you admit defeat. "If what is on purpose?" You ask, toying with his collar. His hand grabs at the fabric of your- his sweater. "You're wearing my sweater, you know how i feel about seeing you in my clothes" He mumbles, straddling your lap. You grin. "Remind me" You sneak a hand down to pull his shirt out from his slacks. He seizes your wrist, eyes staring straighet at the sweater you've got on. "Don't push it, just kiss me" Spencer demands

"Mhm, i don't know, you're not being very nice Spence" You tease, undoing his top button. You smile as your tone makes Spencer shiver. "Please kiss me?" He tries, shuffling closer to you, bringing your bodies together. His arms settle down around your waist. "Mhmm, i don't think so baby-" "Please! Please i need to kiss you y/n" He tugs at you harshly and you chuckle. "Oh, needy for me? You need me?" You tease. Spencer gives you his famous puppy eyes and you melt, you can't help it. "That is not fair, Spencer Reid" "You're not fair either" He pouts.

You sigh and drag him down into a firm kiss. His lips are sloppy on yours. You slide a hand around his back, pulling his shirt op from his pants anyway. His protests are muffled in you lips, allowing you to slip your tongue into his mouth. He softens in your lap, relaxing as you kiss him. You slide your hand op his back, feeling the soft skin. He whines at your touch, and pride swells in your chest. You love how he reacts to your touch. "Spence?" you mumble between kisses. "Yes?" He mumbles back, sliping a hand under your sweater to feel your skin for himself.

"It's wasn't on purpose, but the next time it will be" You mutter, firmly grabbing ahold of his shirt collar. "That's not fair" He whines, his mouth so close to yours that you can smell the sweet tea on his breath. "Tell me you don't want it then" You tease, hoisting his hips op closer to yours. "I can't" He gasps as his hips hit yours, grabbing on tightly to your waist. "Then quit complaining" You give your hips a small thrust into his, watching as he tries to not moan. "I'm sorry" He gulps, fingers digging into your skin so harshly you know you'll end op brusicing. "That's better" You praise. "Now tell me what you want"

"I, um"

"Use your words Spencer" You tease, watching as he blushes and tries to stammer out his answer. "I want to fuck you in my sweater" He confesses. You blush, not expecting this explicet answer. "Well" You huff, manuvering around to lay under him. Spencer follows, staying atop you. "You better get started then" You wrap your arms around his neck. "You are gonna kil me one day" He gulps, chuckling slightly. "Mhmm," You reach op and tug him down for your mouths to met again. You hook a leg op around him. "I might, but you'll like it i'm sure" You mutter in between kisses. "I love you" He whispers to you as he begins to kiss down your neck. "I love you too" You whisper back, sliding a hand op into his hair, tanggling your fingers in his soft curls. He undoes your pants, shuffling to get them off you and leave you in your underwear only. You reaching op, undoning his shirt and pulling it off him.

"Baby, if you don't hurry op and fuck me, i'm going to do it myself" You huff as he works to get his pants off. "Keep being a brat and i won't fuck you at all"

"Okay, okay, i'll be good"

"Good, because i'm gonna need you to you to hold on for a while" He says, slipping out from his boxers and tossing them on the floor. "What? Spencer that's not- hey!" You yelp as he lifts your hips and slips your underwear down to your knees. Spencer leans op, close to your face. "You heard me" He grunts. "I'm gonna take my time with you and you are gonna hold on until i give you permisson" Spencer muffles your answer in his lips and you stoamch twists. You know what taking his time means, it means he's gonna rail you six ways to sunday. And you can't wait.


Tags :
2 years ago

Distraction

I wake up to heavy rain crashing down outside. I smile happily to myself, I've been waiting to have another rainy day with Nico. But my plans go out the window as a lightning strike strikes down just outside. Oh well, it'll still be a rainy day. I drag my heavy body up and out of bed. Nico physically can not leave his cabin when it's thundering. So I pull on what have become my cuddle clothes, soft sweatpants, an old soft Camp Jupiter shirt and a newer camp Jupiter hoodie. I slip on my shoes but bothering to find socks. I'll be walking to the Hades cabin and not anywhere else if I can help it. With the thunder, I can't bring an umbrella. So, I have to walk in the rain. Nico won't mind through, as long as I'm not soaked to the bone. I walk out the door and onto the porch. I breath in the sweet smell of rain. It's rather foggy out and I can't see the Hades cabin anymore. I shrug and get out into the rain, starting my walk to the Hades cabin. As much as I'd like to slowly walk through the rain and soak into the feeling, Nico won't cuddle me if I'm soak through. He might be able to borrow my clothes when he's wet, I don't fit into his clothes. So, I rush to get there, both to not get too wet and get to Nico who's probably starting to get a little scared as the thunder has started to pick up. Or he's debating coming to get me. Probably not though. My guess is that he's laying curled in on himself, feeling ready to die. I get to door, but I don't bother knocking, it'll only be another sound that'll startle him.

I slip through the door that I've barely opened, I'd rather not get rain in. Nico's sitting upright in bed, jumping at every noise. "Hey" I say, yawning. I pull off my wet hoodie and toss it by the window to dry when the sun comes out. "Hi" He whispers. Oh, that bad already. I run my hand through my hair, getting the rain to settle into it. I can hear the thunder a lot clear here. I make my way to him, sitting down next to him on his bed. "Come on, we both know you need a hug" In seconds he throws himself over me and leans his head over my shoulder. I wrap my arms around my middle. "You'll be okay, I'm here" I murmur. Nico reaches his arms up and tightly holds onto my shoulders. There’s another loud bang just outside the window. Nico jumps at the sudden noise. His nails dig into the fabric of my shirt, and I squeeze him tightly. "You're okay baby" I muse, slipping a finger under his shirt to distract him. I gently slide my finger op the curve of his back. "Do you want me to distract you?" I ask. "Please" He murmurs into my neck. "Mhm, what do you need?" "Just, anything" He pleads. "Okay" I whisper, shifting him in my lap. Hands resting on his hips. I shift us both down so I'm laying on my back with him sitting above my hips.

He's also dressed in cuddle clothes, his black camp shirt and soft sweats. I tug at the waistband of the grey sweats. A cue. He moves down, getting on his hands and knees above me. I reach op, grabbing his collar. Another cue. He gets down on his elbows, his face only a couple of inches away from mine. "Mhm?" He mumbles. I lean op, lips barely touching his. He leans down, starting a sweet kiss. I keep a hand around his shirt, grabbing onto the fabric to keep him in place. I glide my other hand down into the back pocket of his sweats. A hand is shoved into my hair, gently tugging at it. I moan slightly. He jumps as there’s another roll of thunder outside. He's jumped back from me, panting with wide eyes. "Look at me, you're okay" I murmur, loosening my grip on his shirt. He shallows, sniffling a bit before he finally meets my eyes. "I'm here, there's nothing to be scared of" I say, slipping my hand out of his pocket. I rest my hand on his upper back. "I've got you" He nods, taking a deep breath. He leans in a bit, twisting his hand in my hair again. I gently guide his face back into mine. I bite into his lip, another distraction. He pulls at my hair ever so slightly.

"W-Wait" He stutters. I look op at him. "Mhm?" "My arms hurt, can we move?" He asks, face only an inch from mine. "Yeah of course" I say. Nico shifts off me and I sit op. I shuffle until I'm sitting with my legs criss crossed. Without a word, Nico sits himself in my lap. He wraps his legs around my waist and arms around my neck. "Hi" He murmurs. "Hi" I say, slinging my arms around his hips. Another loud crack of thunder rolls on outside. Nico whimpers and buries his head in my neck, resting his face on his arm. "Shh baby. I've got you" I murmur, gently tapping his hip. He shivers, the poorly insulated cabin barely keeping the heat inside. "Cold?" I ask. "Mhm" "I left my hoodie by window, should be dry" Nico gets off, gets the dry hoodie, pulls it on, and gets resettled in my lap.

"Jason?"

"Yes baby?"

"Can I keep your shirt for a bit?" He asks, voice small and doubting. The thought of Nico keeping my shirt, sleeping in it, wearing it around camp. It sends a shiver of pride down my back, knowing he would visibly be mine. "Yes, please keep it for a bit. I'd love that" I murmur, leaning op and leaving a kiss on his jaw. The thought of seeing Nico wake up in my shirt. Gods. Nico chuckles "That tickles!" He laughs. "Does it?" I ask, continuing to kiss along his jaw. "Jason!" He laughs, kicking at my back. "Mhmm!" He whines as I kiss down his sensitive neck. He wiggles around a bit. He doesn't jump or yelp as another strike of lighting hits the ground. Too distracted by my lips down his neck to notice. "Jacey!~" He murmurs, still gently kicking at my back in playful protest. "Do you want me to stop?" I hum into his skin. His fingers dig into my shirt. "Don't you dare" He chuckles, the feeling becoming normal. He hums in happiness, giving op on his thrashing. As i kiss back up his neck, he whines and his hold around my waist tightens. "Jason..." He breathes out.

"Yes baby?"

He doesn't respond

"Yes?" I repeat.

He leans his head back. A small moan slips past his lips. Oh, he's not asking me anything. He moans my name at least a dozen times as I keep kissing around his neck and collarbone. I snake a hand op under his (My) hoodie. He mumbles out a yes and I pull off him and yank the hoodie off. There's another roll of thunder outside but he doesn't notice. I've got him pretty distracted after all.

"Jason..."

"Yeah?"

"Take off my shirt"

"Happily"

I pull off his shirt and keep kissing around his collarbone, going lower with each kiss I place. He starts whining as I reach his pale chest. As I start gently biting on a sweet spot, his whining turns to panting. He's gonna kill me for all the hickeys later. But right now, all he has to say is. "Give me another, please" He begs. "You got it Sweetcheeks" I mumble. I smile into his chest, sucking on the red skin. I gently bite on it. He lets another, slightly louder moan slip passed his lips. There's a very loud lightning strike just outside the cabin. Nico whimpers at the noise, but that's it.

I glance op at him, to make sure he's okay. He's still panting, but he looks fine. "Good?" I ask, just to be completely sure. "Yeah, I'm good" "Good" I say, leaning op and placing a kiss on his lips. He grabs ahold of my neck and kisses back. I smile at his reaction and let him keep ahold of me. He shuffles the closest he can. Getting needy.

Gods, I could stay here all day. Kissing him, touching him, having him. "Jacey?" He whines, pulling off me. "Yeah?"

"Let's not leave my cabin today, if we can avoid it"

"You read my mind" I mumble before going back in and rejoining our lips. Nico's fingers tips dig into the skin of my neck. I groan at the lovely pain. Nico whines into our kiss as I gently bit into his bottom lip. He'd later be mad at me, because I'd leave a bruise on his bottom lip.

He gently presses his hips into mine. I press back, moaning at the little friction I get from the movement. Nico whimpers, pulling back in surprise. "Sorry..." He whispers, blinking to realize what he just felt. "Did it feel okay?" I ask, resting both my hands on his hips. "Yeah..." he mutters. "Enjoy it then" I say and recreate the movement. He moans again, he slaps a hand over his mouth. "Someone will hear us" He whispers.

I take his hand away. "Not with this heavy rain and thunder" I reassure. "Just, let me distract you. I know you'll like it"

"Okay, distract me then"


Tags :
1 year ago

Little Spencer

You know something is wrong when Spencer calls you from a damn payphone. Your first thought is obvious, did he shoot op? And if so, where in all of hell is he. "Can you come get me?" his voice is shaky, with a small hint of desperation "Are you high Spence?" you blurt out, sticking a hand on your hip for stability. "What? no, no I'm not high" you expected him to sound offended, not sad and small. He doesn't ask the question again. "Where are you?" you ask, grabbing your keys off the counter. "Main, down on Ashely, by Reliy's cafe" He gulp's. "I'll come get you, but you better tell me what's going on right know" You demand, slipping on your shoes.

"I, I need you" "What?" You struggle to put your coat on with one arm. He needs you, what does that mean "I, need. I'm feel sm-tired. I just need to be home right now" He stammers. Small, he almost said small. Oh god it's really happening. He's regressing. Just like the therapist suggested he should try to. "Small? Are you feeling small honey?" you ask, trying to hide a smile. "Yes, a little. Will you please come get me?" It's the closest he can get to begging in public without getting some damn sassy side eye. You close the door and slide the key in. "I will, one little thing first. Why are you calling from a payphone and not your cellphone?" You ask, enjoying your own word play. You hurry down the stairs. There's a small noise over the line. A whimper. "It's dead" he admits. "Okay, is the team with you?" You ask, unlocking the car and switching the call to your ear piece and tossing your phone in the glove compartment. "Yes" "I need you to stay with them, i don't want you wandering off and getting hurt. Can you find Morgan?"

"Mogan's not here, he's with Rossi" He says. "Who is there? Who can keep an eye on you until i get there?" You ask, turning out from your housing block. It's a short drive, luckly. Only 6 minutes to get to Ashely down on main. You hope Specer is okay "I don't need a babysitter" He grumbles, most likely crossig his arms. "If you need me to get you, then you might need a babysitter. Now tell me who's there" You demand, turning down the street. "Garcia, and JJ" He says, mostly certainly pouting slightly at this point. "Then go ask Garcia for a hug. Tell her you don't feel well and that I've asked her to keep an eye on you until i get there. Tell her I'm worried sick about you and I'm breaking every traffic law to come get you" You instructs, turning down the last street, only 3 minutes now. There's a giggly excitement in your stomach. Spencer's doing what the therapist told him too, he's finally letting the therapy have effect. "Okay, she's in the store I'm gonna go" Spencer mumbles. "Good, I'll be there in 3 , stay with Pen" You say right before the line cuts out. You heave a sigh of happiness, stepping firmly on the gas.

You park right by the payphone, finding Spencer and Penelope sitting on a bench outside. Spencer's dressed the same way he was yesterday, purple button op with a dark grey vest over it and dark blue jeans. Penelope is of course, fussing over him, asking why he didn't say something sooner. You open your arms for him and he melts into your hold. You give Penelope a thank you, nod before taking Spencer to the car. While you knew he wasn't going to be publicly showing off the fact that he's feeling small, you thougt, or hoped he at least looked a little off. No pun intented. Spencer settles into the passager seat, something you've gotten use to. You squeeze his hand, trying to find some clue to his headspace. He doesn't say a word, only gently squeezing back. You smile, either he's too embarrsed to talk, or he can't. You lean over and buckle him in. "I'm gonna take you home now, okay?" You ask, letting your hand run over his knee for a breif second. "Okay..." he mumbles, voice light and bittle as he lays his folded hands in his lap. "Hey.." you coo, laying a hand over his. "It's okay, tell me what's going on" You ask, letting him pull one hand out from under yours. He curls his hand op his chest. "Are you cold Baby?" You ask. He shakes his head lightly, starting to pout. "What's wrong then?" you coax, powering op the car. Spencer whimpers and you chuckle. "I don't speak whimper code Baby boy" you tease. He whimpers again, wiggling his feet. You glance over, what's he really saying? "What? Baby the only thing i think you might want right now, is to suck your thumb, but i know you don't want that because you find it unsanity" You say, trying not to chuckle. He nods, and you let yourself chuckle as he blushes. "There's baby wipes in the glovebox, clean your fingers, carefully under your nails, then go ahead" You instruct, pulling your hand to yourself. You focus on the road as you hear Spencer open the glovebox and grabbing the packet of wipes. He picks out one and begins to clean his hands. Then he takes another one and cleans under his fingers nails. "Aw, look at you. So smart" You praise, rounding the corner. Spencer puts the wipes back, bitting his lower lip. You catch his look of hesitation. You take a moment to decide if you should press or let him comfort himself about it. "It's okay, no one's gonna see you. It's just you and me" You say, laying a hand on his knee. You hear him whine quietly as he slips his thumb into his mouth. You think it might be a good idea to get a pacifier. It's more satiny, easier to keep clean. And you'd have control of it, you can't take his thumb away, but a pacifier you could. You can force a pacifier into his mouth, his thumb? not so much.

Woah woah woah! you are way too far into undiscussed territory. Dial it back for a second. Pacifiers, undiscussed, no consent given. You're gonna have to ask about that. Forced headspace, undiscussed, no consent given yet. You're gonna have to ask about that too. Any forcing a pacifier or anything into his mouth, not discussed! You finally pull op in front of your appartment block. You glance over to find Spencer half asleep with his thumb firmly in his mouth. You hate to do it, but you reach over and gently take his thumb out from his mouth. He whines a bit but let's you pull it out. "You can continue when we're inside, okay? Because right now, we gotta get you home" You wipe his wet thumb on you shirt and unbuckle his seatbelt. He nods and you get out from the car. He follows you closely op to the appartment, mostly because he can't stray far from you cause you've got an arm around his waist. Which is not something you usualy do, but, you wanted to. You get into the appartment and the second the door is closed, Spencer's sucking his thumb again. You focus, very hard to not chuckle. Because that's wildly insensitive. But maybe that pacifier is a good idea. You brush a hand over his hair. "You doing okay there baby?" You ask sweetly, as you guide him to the couch. He nods and you pet his back gently. He lays down on the couch without much proment, his eyes only half open. It's strange sight, Dr. Spencer Reid laying on your shared couch while sucking his thumb.

For one, you never dreamed you would share a home. Never dreamed you'd get Spencer into therapy. Never dreamed of this. You lay a blanket over him, leaning down to kiss his forehead. "Hey, you okay there baby boy?" You knell down in front of him. He's not really reacting to you, so you stoke hos cheek. He leans into your touch. Maybe you should get him into some more comfortble clothes. He shakes his head a bit. "Should i get you into some comfy clothes? Would that help?" You ask, continuing to stoke his cheek. He nods slightly, slipping his thumb out from his mouth. You want to tell him to keep it in his mouth, but you don't wanna push. He wipes his thumb dry on his shirt. "Yeah? okay. What do you say to.......sweats and a hoodie?" You ask, moving your hand to stoke his hair instead. His eyes are still only half open as he shakes his head. "No, okay. What about sweats and a sweatshirt?" You coo, hoping you've struck right with the clothes. He nods, and looks down to his thumb. You smile. "I'll get that for you baby, you just relax and suck your thumb if you want" You encourage. He slips it back in his mouth and wiggles a bit to settle comfortable on the couch. You smile even wider and hurry off to find the promised clothes. Oh, he's relaxing, and he's actually letting you take care of him. This is good. Really good. You find dark grey sweatpants, a black tanktop, and a light grey sweatshirt.

You find Spencer asleep, so you rouse him a bit before helping him sit op. He's still sucking his thumb as you pull the vest off him. It makes it a bit more difficult, but you don't mind. The soft cotton of the vest is a bit worn out and thin in some places. He's wearing it to death. You pull his shirt op from his pants and get to work unbuttoning it. You hear the pop of Spencer pulling his thumb from his mouth. "Mama?" He mutters. "Yeah baby?" You manage to get out in a reasonably coherent voice, or so you hope. Mama. Oh god, you were not expecting that. In any way. This morning he didn't even wanna talk about anything relating to therapy. Now he's calling you Mama. You slide the shirt off his shoulders and down off his arms. "I'm thirsty" he confesses. "Okay" You almost choke. Thirsty. He's thirsty. "I'll get you drink in a minute, what do you want sweetie?" You ask, picking op the tank top and he raises his arms and helps you along with getting it on. You slip the sweatshirt over his head. He shrugs, he's never been good at remreber what's in the fridge. You almost say coffee, but that doesn't feel right. "Apple juice?" You suggest, unbuttoning his pants. He blushes and pulls your hands away. This throws you for a loop. He's okay with you taking your shirt off, but not his pants. You hold out the pants, raising an eyebrow. "Do you wanna you try do it yourself Baby?" You ask, wondering just why it's okay to see him without a shirt, but not okay to see him his boxers. It's not like it'd be the first time.

He takes them from you, nodding. "Okay, you can absolutely do it yourself. Did you want some apple juice?" You ask again, chancing the topic to drinks. He nods and you head to the kitchen. Both to get him that damn juice, and to let yourself have a mini break down. You draw in a deep breath, bracing yourself on the kitchen counter. Juice. Apple juice. You find an old plastic cup you used when you'd broken your wrist and weren't trusted with actual glass glasses. You listen for any rustling. Has he finished changing yet? You draw in another deep breath. Okay, give Spence some juice, then what? What do you do then? it's midday, it's not even close to dinner time. Is it just cuddle time with some Tv? Would that take him out of the headspace? Or would it help? Okay, breathe. Breathe. Give your baby the juice, and let him deicde what he wants to do. You go back to the living room. Surprised that Spencer's not there. "Spence? Baby boo?" You call, setting the juice down on the coffee table. You hear a giggle from under the couch. Oh my. "Oh no!" You cry. "Where's my baby?" You bend down and pick op his clothes and start to fold them. "Oh no, I've lost my little Spencer where could he be?" You lay his folded vest down on the couch. Spencer's clearly hiddning under there, but maybe it's fun. It's gotta be fun. You lay a folded shirt aside, then his folded op jeans. You huff, hands on your hips. "Oh my, where's Mama's baby?" You falsely cry out. Then, Spencer sticks his head out from under the couch, smiling. "Here Mama!" "Oh my, there you are, you scared me" You lean down and pinch his cheek gently. You want to pick him op. But you're not sure you can, or that you'd be allowed to. He looks os cute, so sweet. You reach down and decide to try. If you fail, it'll be a fun mistake.

Spence giggles and laches onto your neck. You get an arm op under his legs, and he wiggles his feet. You smile to yourself, you can total carry him. Even if it's the last thing you do. You lift him op and dump him on the couch. He laughs as he bounces on the couch and your heart melts. You hand him the juice and he grabs it. You settle next to Spencer, watching closely as he finishes the drink in seconds. "Thank you" He sets the empty glass aside. "Your welcome baby" You say. He doesn't say anything for a few minutes, and you just wait. Hoping he'd eventually talk. When you realize he won't, you really wish there was someone there to help you with this. "Do you wanna watch some Tv?" You ask, in a hopefully tone. Spencer begins to pout and shakes his head. "What do you wanna do Baby?" You ask, trying desperately to make him feel happy again. You just want him to feel safe. Spencer shrugs, and quite frankly, you panic. You want to be a good caregiver for him, a good Mama but you've got no clue what you're doing right now. "D-Do you wanna play?" You ask, shifting closer and laying an arm around his shoulders. He pouts properly, violently shaking his head. "Okay, I'm kinda lost here Baby boy, what do you want?" You ask again, gently tugging on him. He turns to you, pouting and almost in tears. Oh no, no no no. No tears. He climbs ono your lap and wraps his arms around your neck. "Hi, hi Baby" You try to not franticly rub his back and give yourself away but you kinda fail. "You're okay Baby" You coax, letting him wrap his legs around you. Spencer rests his head on in the crook of your neck. Is he tired? is that it? "Are you sleepy?" You ask, shifting him slightly.

He nods, and you sigh in relief, petting his back soothingly. "Okay" you say, trying to keep yourself from asking a million questions. Does he want to sleep in your lap? Does he want to lay in bed? Does he need you to cuddle him to sleep? Does he need to lay down on the couch? You're about half way through every posble question when you hear Spencer snorring on your shoulder. Oh, oh. Sleep. He's sleeping. You grab his phone, okay power nap. How long is a normal power nap. What did Spencer say? 10 to 20 minutes, right? Okay, um, 20 minutes. You set a timer. What can do in 20 minutes? Better yet, what can you do with a sleeping Spencer in your lap? You can't do much with a sleeping baby in your lap. Wil the alram wake you too? Yeah, yeah it wil. You close your eyes, you deseve a nap too. You close your eyes.

You wake to a slight tugging, there's no alram blarring. Did you sleep through it? "Mama?" It's Spencer. You blink a few times, trying to open your eyes. "Yeah?" You anwser, shifting and feeling the heavy weigt on you. He leans into your neck, snuggling close the way a cat would. You wrap your arms around him. "Wake op Mama" "I'm awake" You say, pulling his face from your neck and kissing him. "I'm awake Baby" You repeat, squzzing him. He squeals. "Did you have a good nap?" You ask, setting your feet firmly on the floor. He nods, smiling wildly. "Good, good. You hungry?" You get to your feet with Spencer in your arms. "Mama!" He squeals, wrappinng his legs irmly around you. "Mhmm, you hugry Baby?" you ask again, ignoing his squealing. "Ah, mhmm" he half bites into his lower lip. "Yeah, that makes sense it's almost dinner time. And i know exactly what do to make" You say, and you mean it. "I don't get a say?" Spencer half whines, wiggling n your hold. "No, a baby shouldn't have to worry about food. Mama's got it" You coo, setting him down on the kitchen island. Something about his eyes seem different. Maybe it's just the warm kitchen light but you swear his eyes seem more dark. Like you're said something you weren't suppose to. Or that you've said something you should have said hours ago. Which remains unknown as you grab the bag that's been waiting in the fridge since your last therapy appointment. Well, bags. There are 4 in the fridge. Chicken nuggets, fries, and a small mix of veggies. The whole thing can fit in your biggest pan. Oh shoot, what are you gonna eat? Mhmmm.

Oh, make Spencer food, get him to eat while you make yourself something. Yeah, that makes. You pour some oil on the pan, then carefully place the food in different spaces on the pan. Knowing that Spencer's not a fan off food all mixed op. "Mommy?" Comes a small, brittle, voice. You turn in under a second. He's still sitting on the island, pouting slightly. "Yeah?" You answer, nodding. Okay, don't freak out. First Mama, now Mommy. Does that mean something? Don't regressors typically stick to one honorific? Is he just trying it out? Oh god calm down, don't let him see you freak out. He reaches out for you with both arms. You giggle a bit. "Okay" You say, leaving the pan for a moment to hoist him op on your hip. it's not easy to hold him with one arm, but you manage. You need to train your arms, you want to be able to hold him like this without issue. He snuggles into your neck. "Better?" You ask. "Mhmm"

So you have dinner, but you spend every second worrying he's gonna hurt himself with the fork. You decide you need child utensils, and a child plate. Oh god, you need a list. Garcia will help, right? she loves to shop. You will need to explain, and that's if Spencer's okay with you talking to her about it. "Mommy?" he asks from you chest. You've settled on the couch with him atop you. "Yeah?" You answer again, brushing a hand over his hair. "Can i....mhmm" he looks down to his hands. Seeming embarrassed again. You giggle lightly and reach for the pack of wet wipes you brought in from the car earlier. "Give me your hand" He does, like a good boy. This time, you clean his hand for him. Turning the wipe over, you carefully clean under the nail. You bend his thumb and stick it in his mouth. "There you go. I need to get you a pacifier, don't i?" You ask, hoping to coax an answer from him. He immediately starts to suck his thumb, blushing a bit. He doesn't answer, and so you bring a hand down and tap his back lightly. "Baby, how do you feel about a pacifier? I'm serious" He burries his face down in your chest. "Baby, I'm serious. Answer me please" You say. Spencer lays his head sideways, thumb tucked firmly in his mouth. You're first instinct is to threaten to take away the thumb sucking. But, you catch yourself, this is for him, not you. "Is it hard to talk?" You ask, rubbing his back. He nods, glancing op at you for a brief moment. "Okay, Pacifier. No?" You ask, he doesn't react. "Pacifier, Yes?" You ask, letting out a breath as he nods. You run a hand over his hair. "Okay, can you hand Mommy that paper pad and that pen?"

You take it from him and lay it on Spencer's shoulder to be able to write. "I'm gonna write some things down, and i need you to cross them out if you're not okay with it. Can you do that Sweetie?" You coax gently. You see him nod from the corner of your eye and you can't help but smile. After a bit more scribbling you hand the pen and paper to Spencer. You coo over him as he reads it. But when he hunches over the list you back off a bit, petting his back instead. it takes him a few minutes, which is how you know he's really thinking about it. He hands it back to you.

Pacifiers

Teethers

Kid plates and utensils

Bottles

onesies

Toys

Colouring books

Talking with Garcia about your regesstion

Talking to Morgan about your regression

Talking with Emliy about your regression

You smile and lay the papper aside. "Baby, you know if Garcia knows, they others might end op knowing at some point? Are you okay with that?" You ask. Spencer nods. "Okay" You say, brushing a hand over his hair again. Spence shifts to lay on top of you, and snuggles close to your chest. You feel like a puddle under him. This is the best day you've had in a while. It doesn't take long for Spence to fall asleep again. This must be tiring for him. You grab your phone off the coffee table. As you flip open your cover your phones lights op with a million different texts from the team. You're happy know the team cares so much. You stoke his hair and neck as he snores. You go on the round of responses, when you get to Garcia. You decide you need a phone call with your girl. She picks op on the first ring.

"Wonder woman at your servise" Penelope says over the line. "Hey Pen, I just wanted to let you know Reid's alright" You say, continuing to pet Spencer's hair. Spencer does this cute little meow kinda noise. "Aww, is that the mini genius?" She gasps. "Yeah. Um, listen. On the topic of mini genius" You drawl. "Oh god, tell me he's not leaving. I'm begging you" She pleads. "No, no" You say, continue to pet his hair. "He's not leaving, but there's something i want you to know. But you can not tell the others yet" You say quietly but firmly. "Oh my goodness, of course please spill Girl" She happily chimes. "It's not really that kinda tea but, have you ever heard of age regression?"

"Umm, yeah I've more then heard of it"

"Well, Spencer is a little. And i need some help with shopping for little things, it's online but I'd like your help, if you comfortable" You blurt out, hoping that if you got it out fast, then the rejection would be easier to handle. "Oh Mama you are on. Any ideas?" "I'll send you a list of things I'm looking for" You smile. And that's how you two weeks later end op with a 'care packet' from Garcia. A box of two pacifiers, a teether, a blue set of child plates and utensils, a light purple kid's sport water bottle with a bite valve, and the thing Spencer grabbed from the box the second he saw it. A white polar bear stuffie. You sent Penelope a handwritten thank you note.


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1 year ago

Rain

You wake to a soft tapping sound against the windows. You glance to the slightly open bedroom window, you never liked sleeping with the windows open but Spencer has reasured you countless times that having a slightly open window on the 6th floor of a building was a 0,000085 percent of any violent crime.

There's rain pelting the windows, sending a chill through your bedroom. You snuggle in close to Spencer's neck, pressing yourself flush in behind him.

Spencer makes a small purring sound, the cutest sound he makes when he wakes op. You press a small kiss to his neck, shushing him gently, hoping to not derail the rare night of good sleep he is getting.

"Don't shush me" Spencer half groans, shifting against you. "Why are you op?" He asks, fingers grazing you arm. You sigh, you really didn't want to wake him, but Spencer is and will always be a light sleeper. You nuzzle close to his neck.

"Just the rain, sleep"

"The rain?" Spencer questions with a yawn as he reaches down and tugs the covers op to your necks. "Mmm, sound, temp. Just sleep"

Spencer relaxes into your grip, and soon enough he's back asleep. The rain has always been a comforting sound for you. But not at night, at night any rain, soft or harsh wakes you and may keep you awake for hours if you let it.

Spencer shifts, snoring lightly. You remind yourself that you too rarely get a good night's sleep and close your eyes. To help yourself fall asleep, you go back to an old favorite trick. You slowly slip an am away from Spencer.

You feel around your nightstand, feeling the familiar texture of your earplugs. You pop them in and wrap your arm back around Spencer. You cuddle close, burying your head in the crook of his neck and getting a leg back between Spencer's. While that started as something Spencer asked for, it's become something you do out of habit. It's a nice touch for you both.

It takes only a few seconds for you to fall asleep behind Spencer.


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1 year ago

Relax

It's a hot night, you've been sweating all day long. You decide it best to shower, Spencer isn't going to be home for a while and there for you can hog the bathroom for as long as you want.

You step into the tub / shower comb in your shared apartment. You quick rise the sweat off your body before settling for a nice long bath. You step out, still wet. As the tub fills op behind you, grab the basket of 'everything bath' that Spencer had gotten for you for your birthday. The basket is still pilled high with special hair care for your hair type, body washes, bath salts, bath bombs, and body scrubs.

You almost laughed at him when you saw it. But he coaxed you into it, at first just the physical care products then slowly to the more pretty and relaxing stuff.

You set the basket of stuff by the tub, just where you can reach. You slip into the warm water, your phone on the counter is playing some of your favorite music. You're on your second round of conditioner when the bathroom door opens, you haven't bothered to lock it as you were alone.

"There you are" Spencer sighs in relief as you rise the conditioner from your hair. "Hey, thought you weren't gonna be home until late?" You ask, brushing a hand through your hair. Spencer dips a hand into the blue and purple water besides you. "It's 2:28 am" Spencer presses a kiss to your damp forehead.

"It is?" You ask, watching as Spencer strips off. "Yes, do you mean if i join you?"

"I'd love that"

Spencer slips in behind you. The water in the tub raising further op. "Mhmm" Spencer snuggles into your neck, pressing a few sweet kisses to your skin. "Bad case?" You ask he continues to kiss you. That seems to halt him.

"Two kids, siblings, kidnapped by the same man a hour apart. They were found barely alive in the unsub's basement....I'd rather not discuss it further"

You turn your head, planting a soft kiss on his lips. "Of course" His eyes soften, and his shoulders relax. "Thank you" You share a few kisses before helping Spencer wash the day's stress away.

It's 2:58 by the time you and Spencer settle in bed together. It's dark, so you feel your way to Spencer's embrace. Spencer holds you close, gently tracing circles on your back.

You snuggle your head into the crook of his neck, your whole body feels soft and relaxed. Spencer shifts and gently pushes a leg between your thigh, you smile at this. A bath then cuddles, not a bad night.


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