Am I Enough Epilogue

Am I Enough Epilogue

Bucky X Reader

A/N: This is the end we are coming in for the close. Thank you all for reading this for every comment and like and reblog thank you so much. I hope you enjoy.

3 Months Later

It was late in the evening when you stepped off the plane. You were ridiculously tired considering you hadn’t slept on the plane ride home and had gotten up what you guessed was early morning London time.

You were more than ready to be home and ready for your bed. You had extended your trip by a whole month wanting to visit some of the seasonal events that you would have otherwise missed. It had been worth it and you had the pictures, souvenirs, and stories to prove it.

You were focused on your phone trying to figure out who could be picking you up. Stark wouldn’t tell you but you had been adamant that the whole team did not have to come to get you. Especially because of the time you landed.

Clearing through the security gate you looked up to find only a single member standing with a sign stating: IN SEARCH OF A WOMAN REALLY NEEDING AN AMERICAN HAMBURGER!

The laugh that escaped you was half from joy from being back and half exhaustion. You raced toward him and barely giving him enough time flung yourself into his arms. His quickly clamped around you pulling you as close as he could to himself. You take a deep breath taking the scent that was so Bucky and was so comforting to you.

“I missed you, Doll,” He says into your hair not wanting to let you go.

“I missed you too. I had so much fun but I’m glad to be home.” You nod into his shoulder just as equally not willing to separate.

“You must be exhausted, why don’t we get your jet-lagged butt home to some sleep.” He carefully lowered you to the ground. Drawing back only far enough to look at him, you peer at his face wondering just how much a man could change in 3 months. He seemed tired but also relieved, he had grown out his beard causing you to reach a hand up to run your fingers through it.

“What is this? You couldn’t go three months without turning full hermit.” He chuckles while leaning into your hand slightly.

“Nah, just going for a new look. Apparently, it makes me look very mature.”

“Oh is that what it does?” Noticing how much lighter he looks as if a heavy burden has been lifted from his shoulders. You smile slightly and finally take a step back from him. “More like a girl’s walking wet dream.” He nods enthusiastically and reaches for your carry on, you quickly collect your other bags and head to the exit.

The ride home is a quiet and comfortable silence. When you exit the elevator into the common room you are surprised by the rest of the team standing there with a WELCOME HOME sign. You can’t help the tears that form though when asked you blame the jet lag. You go to each of your friends and give them nice warm hugs. Sam gives you a kiss on the cheek as well and you follow it up with one of your own. You had to admit he was one person, that you had greatly missed hanging out within your time away.

The group quickly separated after that each seeing you quickly fading from being up so long. With couple more hugs, kisses, glad-your-backs you headed into your room for a peaceful nights rest. Your room was exactly like you left it just a little cleaner. Shedding all your clothes you quickly slip into some PJs too tired to even consider a shower at the moment. You were out like a light as soon as your head hit the pillow.

The smell of bacon woke you the next morning, softly calling to you from the kitchen. It was one of the best ways to wake up. You quickly jump in the shower to wash off the grime of the plane and quickly dressed. You quickly grabbed your bag of goodies and heading out you could hear the quiet noise that you had somehow forgotten yet missed all at the same time.

Sprawled around the room was the group, Clint was in the kitchen whipping up some breakfast. To your surprise, Bucky was there as well manning the grill and flipping what looked like french toast. The smell alone drew you in making you drift closer to see what the spread would be.

When you get to the island counter you perch on one of the bar stools and gaze over. It was a giant buffet, from yogurt to fresh fruit, muffins and of course, bacon. It all made your mouth water. Steve leans over to you catching you staring at the food.

“He started going back to therapy after you left. To all of our surprise, he became fast friends with Clint. Taught him how to cook.” You raised an eyebrow at that. “Yep, he is doing a lot better than when you left heck, even better than when he stopped the first time.”

You smile at that glad that Bucky seemed to be finding his way. Bucky finally looked up from his station to see you glancing at him, he sends you a small smile and continues to flip.

“Good Morning, (Y/N).” Clint waves from his spot in the kitchen. “Go get comfy it’s going to be maybe 5 more minutes before breakfast is completely ready.”

You wander over to the group on the couches finding a seat next to Sam. He wraps a hand around your shoulders pulling you into him.

“So Miss Adventure tell us about your trip.” They all nod in agreement.

You began your storytelling them about all the places you had seen and the friends you had made. As you went you pulled out the souvenirs that came from that country. They oohed and aahed each grateful for the gifts, there did seem though to be a lack of gifts for Bucky though. Shifting to the table to eat when breakfast was ready and you continued. By the time you were all done eating all the gifts had been passed out and they were telling you about their own journeys while you were gone.

Everyone separated to go do their own thing, most having paperwork or training still to do for the day. Bucky remained sitting while the others filed out.

“Don’t move, alright?” You tell him getting up quickly to go back to your room. Grabbing one more bag you head back.

For some reason, you felt nervous, even though you knew Bucky, but you didn’t know how he would react to this. The two had left things on weird unspoken terms, they weren’t exactly bad terms but they definitely weren’t great. You did have to talk and you had a feeling that this is what would lead to that talk.

“I made this for you over the course of my trip. I… I … I mean it's nothing much and I’m kind of wishing I had gotten you something else as well.” Debating actually giving it to him you start pulling away. “Ok, now that I am giving it to you it’s dumb.”

He stops you quickly pulling the bag from you. “Stop, I’m sure if you thought of me while downing it, it will be perfect.”

He carefully pulls out a leather journal, the cover is embossed with an outline of the world and his initials right under that. When he opened it up he found a short message on the inside cover.

To Bucky,

This is for you it's all my thoughts and feelings throughout this trip. Most of all it’s all the moments that I wish I could share with you and maybe one day we can.

Love (Y/N)

Each part starts with the name of the place and the dates you were there. Next comes the postcards, each of the best sights and things you had witnessed. When he flipped them over there were the words you had written as if you had actually meant to send it to him. Some were joyful and excited. Others only a few words were written and he could see the tear stains that smudged the words. He spent the next moments drinking it all in following you on your journey. He teared up in places and chuckled at others. About halfway through he stopped and looked up at you. Taking in the blush that covered your face, eyes that shone brightly at unshed tears, uncertainty written on whether this had been a good or bad idea.

He set the book aside and leaned in close, never once breaking eye contact with you until your lips hovered over each other.

5 years later

It was a calm day nothing really happening. You woke up to the sheets beside you empty, but still warm. You quickly sit up unsure of where your companion had gone. You don’t hear anything but as you gaze back to the spot that he was previously in you spot a letter.

Picking it up you find your first initial on it, carefully opening it. There is no real occasion for this, it's not a birthday or an anniversary as far as you know. You pull out a simple card. A heart wreath on the front. You open it with a smile already spreading over your face.

Doll,

I know you're probably confused about this but today marks a special day for us. Mostly for me. 5 years ago you came back from your adventure of a lifetime. You gave me the best gift a guy like me could ask for. You gave me hope and a future. You forgave what was unforgivable.

We have had our highs and lows, and there is no one I would rather go through it than with you. That day you had asked me a very important question something that could very well change the outcome of our future.

That day you asked me “Am I Enough?” and I knew exactly what I should say. I told you then and I made sure you knew the day you finally became my wife and I will remind you for the rest of eternity.

You are more than enough. And my everything.

Now stay put so I can bring you breakfast and prove it to you,

Yours eternally,

Bucky.    

PS You still need to make up for kissing Sam. I mean really Pigeon Brain?!

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It's really made me smile to see you working through my masterlist. Thank you for the likes! - @illegalcerebral

It has been wonderful reading everything!! They have been great stories.

Am I Enough PT 20

Warnings: fluff, implied smut, angst-ish, poor cheesy writing

A/N: I LIVE!!! Man my life has been extremely busy, I’ve been trying my best at this adulting thing but man is it hard. Thank you all for your patience, I hope you enjoy. This will be the final chapter followed by an Epilogue of course. Just as an FYI this has a lot of time jumps.

Ah, adventure the freedom of not having to work and not quite knowing where you were going. It was an exhilarating feeling and if you were completely honest you were kind of addicted to it. There was so much you had seen and so much you still had to see. You were ready for the next leg of your journey.

Traveling to Washington and Oregon, taking in the natural beauty of the west coast. From the ocean to the forests you covered it all. It was while you were in the mountains that you ran into a pair of brothers. Since Natasha was your wingwoman you ended up in a little dive bar. You were leaned over a pool table when a flash of plaid and the greenest eyes you have ever laid eyes upon caught your attention. Seeing you attention slip Nat quickly turned and eyed the man, with a smirk of approval she sashayed over to the two men.

Leaning in to whisper in his ears, she maintains eye contact with you. Your cheeks flush in embarrassment, why did she have to be so bold. The man had developed the same smirk as her, straightening he headed your way. Turning back Nat to silently scold her you found her already wrapped around the taller of the two guys gently tugging on his hair to keep him completely focused on her.

When you lift your eyes to him you find him closer than you expected. Perching his hip on the side of the table he leans in close, capturing your gaze in his.  

“Names Dean, your friend over there said you were the person to know.” He licks his lips slightly making you heart putter.

“Oh… did she?” Man, why did your brain have to melt down now? “She must have me confused with someone else.”

“Oh I can assure you, you are the best thing I have seen. With or without your friend's excellent recommendation.” Your face flushes red and you can hear him chuckle. Feeling his fingers gently lift your chin. “No need to be shy, I’m just telling it how I’m seeing it. Now, what's a gorgeous girl like you doing in a place like this? Not that you shouldn't I’m just wondering why such a gorgeous creature has graced us mere mortals with her beauty.”

‘Holy Crap!’ The man had you wrapped around his finger and you had only been talking to him for 2 minutes. “I...I am…” Your grasp of the English language was quite amazing right now. “I am traveling the country. Thought I should see what this place had to offer.”

“Well, I for one am glad you decided to do that. What’s been your favorite part so far?”

“You’re definitely on top of the list.” It took you a moment to realize you had said that out loud. If the ground would swallow you up you would welcome it. The sheer embarrassment you felt on your face as an ever deeper blush coated your face.

He threw his head back and let out a belly laugh. He quickly leans forward and wraps one arm around his stomach and the other around your shoulders. When it slows a little he gives you a peck on the lips, retreating back to gauge your reaction. You’re not sure how to truly feel but it is definitely not unpleasant or unwanted.

“That certainly makes me happy. What say we start this game over and get to know each other and you can see how truly awesome I am.” You can only nod and start to rack the balls again.

For the whole game, he did nothing but flirt and lean into you while stealing kisses whenever he could. By the time the game was over you both were buzzed and couldn’t seem to keep your hands off each other. Casting a quick look around you find Nat gone with as you learned earlier was Dean’s brother Sam. He takes your hand and leads you outside, holding the keys to his vehicle you find he owns a gorgeous black ‘67 Impala. You raise a brow at him, being around Tony had rubbed off on you so you could appreciate a classic when you saw it.

Pulling him so you can get a better look you pull him around it. By the time you make it around the car, he had pulled you into his arms pinning you to the side of the car, locking his lips to yours. The alcohol makes you brave you returned with equal fervor while pulling him toward the backseat. It felt amazing to be able to let go like this exhilarating considering you were in a parking lot and at any moment someone could come out and find you. Hastily pulling the door open you flung yourselves inside barely parting the need to connect overwhelming you. That was the start of a very long night.

----------

You woke slowly feeling the need to stretch your muscles, arching your back slightly you felt a firm grip around your stomach holding you to a warm, solid body behind you. With memories of the previous night flooding your mind you quickly found yet another blush coating your face. It was rather surprising though to find Dean still here though. He seemed like the one and done kind of guy. Charm the pants right off her and then gone before morning. You couldn’t help the warm feeling that came with the thought that you were special enough at least for him to stick around for.

The arm around you tightened, causing you to tense. It was quickly followed by his lips meeting your neck, gently placing kisses along its length. You ease back into him, relishing in the feel. You lean your head to the side allowing him more access emitting a small moan in pleasure.

“Got to admit nothing better than waking up to a gorgeous woman in your arms.” His voice is still gruff with sleep, he continues his discovery of your neck.

“Hmm, I wouldn’t know, I’ll take your word on that.” He lets out a small laugh and nips your shoulder.

“Think your darn funny do you?”  Loving the playful attitude your giving him.

You nod your head. “I’m hilarious. As much as I’m enjoying this though I do have to pee so move it, Handsome.”

He seemed to think about it for a second before letting you go. You quickly roll out of the bed. It seemed you had found some real confidence last night as you don’t even try to cover up and just sashay into the bathroom. Not wasting any time, you are soon opening the door finding Dean had barely moved. He was now on his back with his arms tucked under his head. His gaze was, of course, focused on you, taking in all your curves and letting out an approving groan.

You chuckle while sliding into the bed next to him. “I have to admit I thought for sure you would be gone when I woke up.” You wrap your arms around himm snuggling into his heat.

“Normally I would be but after last night talking to you, I thought, this girl needs to be shown how a proper man aught to treat you.”

You can’t help the giggle that comes out. “Oh wow well thank you for gracing me with this rare occurance.”

“Oh you're welcome, now I don’t know about you but want to grab some chow with me and maybe we can convince our counterparts to come as well?” In response, your stomach let out a loud growl. His laugh causes you to bounce on his chest, you are burying your head once again in embarrassment.  “I think that answers my question, a woman after my own heart.”

The rest of the time spent with Dean was short and sweet. He was a real charmer and if anything you just hoped that you had looked cool or at least not a klutz in front of him. You had parted with a couple tears but you couldn’t have asked for a better time.

-----------------

Your year went on each journey you went on made you grow and brought new memories. You grew closer to the team. Even as you had to be working most times you grew more confident and more assured in yourself and your abilities. You picked up hobbies and let some go, lets just say you definitley were not designed to be a runner or cook professionaly.

The thing that most changed was your relationship with Bucky. It had morphed into a friendship but at some times it could be very awkward as you both slipped into more than friends mode. Amost like teenagers in love but to scared to admit it. You held back though not that Bucky hadn’t proven himself time and again. It was the traveling that rreally made you step back and reevaluate. There was so much you wanted to experience and to be honest being single was the only true way to do that.

So finally the day came, you were packed and ready to head overseas your trip would last over 2 months taking you to all the places you had only viewed on Pintrest and Instagram. You were just putting the final things in your bag when you heard a light knocking on your door.

“Come in.” You called, Wanda had gotten you a journal for you to document your every step.

Bucky’s head popped around the door. You shut the journal and shifted so that you could face him. He seemed agitatied and nervous. Stiffening just a little you grabbed hold of a pillow placing it in your lap. That look usually meant he had something to get off his chest.

Scooting the chair so that he could sit close enough that he could place a hand on your knees. He didn’t immediatly say anything simply looked down while stroking him thump against your exposed skin. “Bucky, what did you want to talk about, you’re making me a little nervous.”

“I.. I” it was like he was already regretting the words that were to come out of his mouth. With a deep breath, he finally met your gaze. “I don’t want you to go.” His hand tightened on your knee but not to the point of pain. It was more like he was pleading with you to understand his words. “I know that sounds selfish but I feel like I just got you back. That I got my best friend back and I don’t want to lose you again.”

“Bucky, I don’t know what to say, I mean I leave tomorrow. Why did you wait till now to say anything?” You can feel your breath quicken and your eyes start to sting. Not truly understanding why this was happening now.

“It’s because I just got you back. I really do want you to go on your trip. I know you will have an amazing time. I know that this is everything you always wanted to do. I just, I get the feeling that if you go I’m going to lose you forever.” He looks away for a moment but quickly loos back and lifts his hand to rest against your cheek. “Just look at this past year, everytime you go you come back changed and more beautiful than ever. It sends me reeling and I have to hold back from doing anything more than hugging you because I screwed up. I just want another chance with you but I fear that if I let you go I will lose that chance.”

His thumb brushes against your cheek catching the single tear that had escaped. Thinking back on the past year you realize Bucky had been there. Everytime you had to pack a bag he had helped you making sure you had  everything and even more for your trip. He had made sure to check in while you werre gone. If there was a late night airport pick up he was there waiting patiently with flowers or a funny sign, anything that would make your face burst into a smile or blush. He had been anything you asked for, a pillow, a friend, a listening ear and even that blockade from others when you had a rough day. Never once had he pushed you to be anything more and never once had he looked away when you told all your stories. You really had taken him for granted. You gently cupped his cheek, gazing into those blue eyes and for a moment getting lost in them, searching for answers that you knew only you held.

“Bucky, you mean the world to me and even though I’m going I want you to know that I will come back. i can’t say for certain what will happen or who I will be when I get back but I can promise you this I will come back to you.” He nuzzled into your hand clasping his own around your wrist to keep the connection between you. “I know I haven’t thanked you for everything you have done for me but you are the main reason I have been able to do what I have been doing. You are my best friend and I can never thank you enough for that. I do want to give us a chance but I need to do this this is for me and me alone. Through this year you know what I have learned the most?” He shook his head slightly. “It’s who i am and how I deserve to be treated. I know now that I deserve to be treated like a princess, then a lady, than a goddess, and back to a princess. You have showed me that but you need to let me go so that we can truly find out if we belong. This will be the first time we have truly been away from each other, it will give us time to reflect. I know every encounter and every memory has made me who I am and there were just some things that needed to change. All I ask is that you ask yourself if you can treat me the way I want, no need to be treated, I will do the same thing. And if its fate will that we be together than we will be. I have absolute faith in that. Can you do that for me, Bucky?”

You both had tears running down your faces, you both realize it is the end of an era for you. What happened next would forever change your relatioinship. His voice was horce with emotion but he nodded and replyed. “I will, (Y/N). I will do that for you. It’s more than worth it to me.”

With that, you both seperated taking in deep breaths and drying your cheeks. “Now want to make sure I’m already to go?”

“Of course.” He begain to rifle through your things and when the night grew late he laid down next to you. You fell asleep holding each other.

The next morning the whole gang showed up to see you all. You had made them agree to not show up randomly. This was for you and you alone, there were a few disgruntled people but in the end, they all agreed. You made the usual promises to write, call, and even FaceTime before hugs were given to all. Bucky was the last and the longest hug.

“I love you.” You whispered in his ear trying to pull him even closer.

“I love you too.” He responded with just as much fervor.

You finally seperated and with a final nod to them, you made your way to the security line. You barely made it through when you turned back to wave one last time. It was time for the last leg in your adventure.

@veronicalei @ohlookfanfiction @theassetseyeliner @bustanut2k18 @luckynumber1213 @owhatshername1 @chipilerendi @caelestiside  @anbrax5553  @fandom-writers @boundtomyfate @annie-are-you-okay @megs4real @marvelous-imagining @mizzzpink @coffeeismylife28 @yknott81 @winter-in-wakanda @genlovesdcb @loveyourselfcreateyourself @buckybarnesappreciationsociety @sammysgirl1997 @unicornqueen05 @magpiemischief @steggy4ever @greeneyedgirls4 @melconnor2007 @iamwarrenspeace @justreadingfics @buckyismyaesthetic @gondorgirl01 @winterbuttmunch @s7sense @couchpotato24-7 @saysay125 @magellan-88 @sweetlittlepieandberrycustard @photography-for-you @geeksareunique @prettybubblesintheair @joannie95 @ktrivia @101killer @flowerchildqueenlovely @lostinthoughtsanddreams @sarahp879 @stevieang @whiw0lf @n7siha @lordemjay @crazy--me @honey-bee-holly  

I’m still not ready for this!!!

Enjoy :)

Reposting this because the previous one didn’t work on mobile lmao

I'm so glad you're excited for the next update of A Thief's End! I tried to reply to your reply but I think tumblr has marked you as a blog "with sensitive content" so it makes it so you don't appear when someone tries to '@' you 😭💔 I just wanted to let you know so maybe you can reach out to tumblr and get that fixed! ❤

It has been an ongoing battle with them causing only stuff I like not write but I am so looking forward to the next chapter.

Start of Something New PT 7

Bucky X Reader

Warnings: usual self-depreciation, awesome friendness (that's totally a word) 

A/N: Hello All! Yes, I did actually complete 2 chapters this week hopefully I can keep this up! As always comments and even likes are appreciated. 

Everyone was finally seated at the table, drinks were served and food placed around to be passed, backups at the ready. Everyone was chatting until Tony stood up from his seat at the end opposite from Steve.

“Alright, people we may want to start with a prayer cause I heard one of our resident assassins cooked the meal.” He clapped his hands.

Sam chuckles and offered up, “It’s okay (Y/N) helped and I watched as we should be good.”

“Well, if I die it’s on you.” He sits down again.

With that dishes are pulled from the center and are passed around. There is a quiet chatter and praise from the smells. When the group begins to eat there is another round of praise. You are sitting next to Bucky and Wanda, for once you don’t feel a blush gracing your face. You had spent so much time talking with him you slipped back into the conversation from earlier.

Wanda nudges you gently, “Thank you for this fabulous meal it is perfect like usual.”

You nod but lean back to let Bucky into the conversation. “Well it wasn’t all me I had help and he did most of the work.”

He shakes his head denying that statement. “Hardly, I just followed your instructions. It was all you, do..” He cut himself realizing what he was about to say.

You cock your head trying to figure out what he was going to say. “Either way, thank you both for making the meal this evening it is delightful.” Bucky nods once again before going back to his food.

Steve strikes up a conversation with Bucky. “So did you learn anything from cooking with (Y/N)?”

Bucky nods, he had learned a lot especially little tricks that made things easier when cooking. He had found it mesmerizing the way you controlled the kitchen and the ingredients, seemingly making them bend to your will to create the perfect dish.

“I did learn some things, but mostly that I will never be as good a cook as (Y/N), she is a force to be reconned with. Especially with a knife, right training she could be better than most agents, with the knife control she possesses.” The group nods their heads and you see the wheels turning actually taking the statement seriously.

“Oh no, no whatever you people are thinking the answer is no.” You wave your hands to clear that idea away, shaking your head as well. “Nope, double nope.”

“Oh come on it’s not a bad idea,” Natasha says leaning to the side looking at you. “I mean you do live here what if something happened. You need to be able to protect yourself.”

“That’s what you people are for. That is one reason I moved here. I mean I don’t just keep you guy around for your looks. I mean you are here solely to protect me. Didn’t you get the memo.” You try to joke hopefully making them shift the conversation.

“Yeah well, what happens if we are all gone?” Sam says.

“That is why I have attack cats.” The group just looks at you, not sure if they should be laughing or not. “Yeah that’s right I have attack cats kind of like ninja cats. They will claw your eyes out.”

“I’m just going to ignore that though Skipper could probably just sit on someone and immobilize them,” Tony says actually thinking about it. “Regardless, this is a good idea, we should train you in self-defense.”

“Here let me say this again maybe a little slower though because it can be a hard word to understand. NNNNOOOOOOOO!” A scowl crosses your face that says that you are done talking about this. You turn to Bucky again to find a confused look on his face. “So would you like to do this again?”

It takes him a moment to respond before he nods his head. “If that is all I’ll let you digest my answer I’m going to call it an early night.” You get up and take your plate to the kitchen. With that, you head to your room.  

You felt stupid letting your emotions carry you like that. It wasn’t that it was a terrible idea it was more the things that came with that idea. With going to the gym came the questions and comments on how you could do so much better. ‘Why don’t you go on a diet?’ ‘You shouldn’t eat that it does nothing good for you.’ Not to mention the outfits you had to wear. It was either the skin-tight leggings that showed off every bump and roll or the sweatpants and baggy shirts that made you look even bigger. You were a have to lose weight before you go to the gym kind of person. Worse yet the thought of Bucky seeing you in said outfits; there were no-win scenarios for you.   

The next day at work went as expected, you were a little sluggish after last night. You weren’t quite sure how to handle the situation from last night. You were trapped in your own thoughts when Richard strolled up to your counter. He leaned over and paused not getting his usual greeting from you. He took his hand and waved it in front of you, attempting to get your attention. You finally blink and make eye contact with him.

“Hey, there you are sweet thing. Something bothering you?” The concern evident in his tone.

“No.. yeah,” you shake your head in an attempt to clear it. “Yeah, I’m just not sure how to handle it.” You let go of a giant sigh.

“What’s the issue? Maybe we can figure it out together.”

You take a deep breath. “So last night Bucky and I made dinner.” He quirks an eyebrow at you. “No not what you think he wanted to learn how to cook.” Richard’s eyebrow lifts higher before he sighs and shakes his head at you letting go of whatever he was about to say. “So we made dinner and we are all sitting down and Bucky comments that I have great knife skills. Well, apparently their minds all connect this to that I need to start taking self-defense classes because in a building full of agents there could be a moment where there is no one here.” You look at Richard and see the exact same look the others had, that oh-that’s-a-good-idea look. You throw up your hands. “No, not you too. I am not taking lessons. This is my issue now I’m reacting the same way I did last night and I know I’m overreacting but still, I do have a say on what I will and will not do.” He didn’t seem to be letting the idea go either. “Oh please don’t do this to me can’t one of you respect my wishes. I would hate to have to find another place to work.”

That seems to shake him into focus. He looks at you seeing a distressed woman that very well could leave just because of not wanting to go to the gym.  He looks around seeing that the cafeteria was mostly empty. Looking toward the grill guy signaling to watch your station. He drags you over to a table in the back. Sitting you down facing the wall so you wouldn’t get distracted.

“Alright, so tell me why you don’t want to go to take lessons.” He grabs your hand that is twisting in your other hand, halting all movement.

“Its everything I mean, I already work like 12 hours days, not that I hate it but still. Then I would have to find time to do that, then go through my days sore and tired. Plus I have to work out with the Avengers. I don’t think that some people are mere mortals and can’t keep up with them.” you know you're rambling but you can’t seem to stop. “Then I’d have to find things to wear, which I don’t own a lot of.”

Richard squeezes your hand making you stop and look at him. “Hey, I get it going back to working out especially after a long while can be rather difficult and so is finding the time.” He begins to rub your hand. “You do have a point I think they do forget that not all of us are as strong as them. What I am hearing from you though is that you have no real reason to not do this. So what I want to know is why you are so scared of doing this.”

“I told you…” You protest.

“No, what you did was give me trivial things that can be fixed easily.” He denies. You look around trying to find a way out. Maybe there was a line that you could help with. Richard snaps his fingers drawing you back to him. “Everything is good there, stop trying to avoid the situation. You complain, but I can’t help you until you tell me what is really going on?”

You shift your eyes around before finally giving in. “I just…. I’m the kind of person that needs to lose weight before they go to the gym. Mostly I’m scared of doing it. It’s the looks and the “advise” that everyone throws me. I mean you see me I’m not exactly small, add that to the gym and I look like a whale in spandex. Not a picture most want to see. I get comments while I’m wearing my uniform, I don’t even want to imagine while wearing gym clothes.” Looking down at the table, you are too embarrassed to make eye contact with him. It’s not that he would say anything mean or even try to hurt your feelings it’s more that you were so weak in this area. “I don’t expect you to fully understand but things are always different when you are big. There seems to be a double standard for people like me. I try to eat a cookie and watch a movie, and it’s ‘you should cut cookies out of your diet that will help with the weight’ but if a thin person does it it’s ‘man that cookie looks good, you deserve to relax and a treat’. I go to the gym and I get looks like maybe if you had tried harder before you wouldn’t have to be here looking like that. It’s hard to stay motivated when you’re a walking what-not-to-do poster. So I don’t try, not anymore.” The shame of admitting that out loud coursed through you. All you really wanted to do was run away and maybe go die in a corner for being so petty and self-centered.

Feeling fingers under your chin you allow them to move your head to meet Richard’s gaze. He had tears in his eyes, not at all what you were expecting. The hand that was previously rubbing yours was now holding it firmly, and you were gripping it back just as fiercely. He pulled you into him wrapping you up in his arms as you felt a few tears drop. You clung to him, taking all the strength that he offered.   

“It’s okay to feel this way. It doesn't make you any weaker. Emotion is a good thing.” He rubs your back hoping to sooth your cries. “You’re right I don’t understand how that feels, I have been blessed with this gorgeousness my whole life.” He preens a bit at this causing you to chuckle and pull away.

You wipe the few tears left on your cheeks. “Yes, I’m sure you were.”

“There she is, I’m so sorry that you were ever made to feel this way, you are perfect the way you are and don’t you ever change for anyone you got that. I do think though that the lessons are a good idea. As a just in case.”  You open your mouth to protest slightly. “How about just me and you, I can reserve a room so that no one else will come in. Until your comfortable in your ability and how you look.”

When he pauses you give him a look thinking it over. “Man you know just what to say to make me feel better. I’m mean it may be like a century and a half until I’m comfortable with how I look but, okay, we will try it your way, but not everyday alright?” He nods, standing up he goes for one more hug. “You’re too perfect. Why are all the good ones married?”

“Just my burden to bear. Someone has to do it.” He gives a dramatic sigh, to which you roll your eyes.

“Do think your wife would mind sharing you? You might be the only man for me.”

“We both know that’s not true. You seem to have a thing for a certain blue-eyed bad boy. I will check with the wife though who knows. I can’t just keep this perfection that is myself to just her, so greedy that one.” Both of you laugh at that before you turn back to the counter feeling lighter than you had in a while.

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