MF TURNED FROM USUI INTO TAMAKI FDSEDFDEW

MF TURNED FROM USUI INTO TAMAKI FDSEDFDEW

THAT'S WHAT WE CALL CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT

Im crying they're the same

What is foreshortening? (Proko)

The lightning that blinded his eyes struck his chest making him fall backwards. He expected to feel his body crash against the ground at any second, but contrary to his prediction, the air kept leaving his lungs and his stomach remained up in the clouds while his body kept falling without reaching land, his thoughts scattered around his head, overwhelming it to the point of almost losing consciousness; making his heart bounce in his chest, he felt as though a cold hand was grasping it and tearing it out of his body, leaving just pain within him, pain that only grew once he finally reached land, the bones in his tailbone and hips shattering due to the force of the violent collision. And a piercing shriek made the gloomy lands tremble.

 He looked around, moved his head desperate to see something, but all he was able to perceive was blackness, it took him an unknown amount of time, since time seemed to be slow and fast all at once, to finally be able to discern fire, embracing him, since it was fire coming from his own body, specifically from his back; what were once white feathers, had been reduced to dust, which also explained the pain coming from that part of his body; he gasped in horror and tried to get rid of those monstruous limbs, every burnt feather was followed by a screech of agony that echoed throughout those dead lands. There were corpses everywhere, all of them stained with blood, and covered with ashes, but what he feared the most was the one of a woman before him; his only sister, Lilith, who he had failed to protect, another howl left his mouth as he crawled to that lifeless body.

The scream startled him; he opened his eyes as he looked around, it had been a disturbing way to wake up and he was now experiencing a headache; he squinted and perceived in the darkness the silhouettes of six people around him, where it should have been seven, all fast asleep, snoring loudly. It was a relief all of them were too tired to hear him, or to notice him; he took his hand to his heart as it was pounding in a concerning way and his forehead sweating, and yet he did not have a clue on how it was possible, but his body was freezing. His fingers were numb, and he was not even able to hold the pen he had been using before nodding off by accident; he had attempted to prevent himself from falling into the lands of sleep since that dreadful memory was harassing him, torturing him every time he closed his eyes. 

He sighed and opened the book he had managed to get from the library so he could get some work done. It had been a relief Barbatos had shown up there right in the middle when the demon behind the counter was showing him behaviour linked to senseless hatred.

"I perceive some kind of an angelic accent" the librarian had said "I cannot understand a word, so I cannot help". 

The royal bluter had shown up right before Lucifer gave in and left the place, giving the demon a meaningful look that made the other freeze and all of a sudden, he was capable of understanding the first born, because he fulfilled his order in a second.  

Lucifer thanked the butler, picked the book up and left the library with humiliation reflected in his red cheeks; his pride had been boosted ever since he had fallen into that place, every little rough action made him feel humiliated or stupid, he had to be right, he had to know more than anyone else, he had to be perfect.

A part of him resented that place where they were strangers, where they knew quite well they were not welcomed, yet, they did not have too much of an option and there was so much to learn: potions, curses, other languages, history... so he was forced to swallow his pride and hatred towards most of the Devildom's population and he made himself study while his brothers slept so he could help them later and make things a bit easier for them, even if he refused to accept it. 

It was tough, he was overwhelmed with so much new knowledge, and he was slowly losing it. He was angry and he was hurt, he was slowly falling into a black hole where his existence was meaningless and the idea of eternal sleep promising. 

He was a demon now and he had to act like such, and he could perceive his feelings were changing or at least the way he used to sense them... so it was unexpected and he could not help but ask himself why was a tear rolling down his cheek? Was it the permanent pain in his body of the broken bones that were taking centuries to heal as his burnt wings? Was it the hatred against his father always unwilling to talk or to listen who had now forsaken him? Was it the pain in his heart for producing the fall and pain of his brothers? Was it due to the death of her little sister he had been forced to face? Was it the reject of the locals? Was it the annoyed sights given at him as if he was not worth anything or as though he had done something wrong, from those who dared to judge him without even knowing what had happened to him? Was it because he was a far from home in a dark land and he would never get to see the sun ever again? Was it because he was no longer loved or respected?...

 It had been beyond a high toll according to his thoughts, he sighed and looked at the sleeping demons, and he realised whatever he felt, it did not matter. There was no way back, he could not give in now, he had brought that fate upon them, and he had to protect them now, no matter what it took, he wiped his tears away and continued reading the book under the dim light of the candle, that would eventually damage his eyes.

˚◞❀˳ a proper farewell

god that title sounds dramatic as fuck so let me just clear things up immediately: no, I'm not leaving tumblr, I will still be very manageable to reach and interact. what I am drifting away from is the tolkien fandom — and since this place, despite my hardships, has meant so much to me - I decided to give it a proper little farewell, to the people who made everything count. along with a little explanation for my decision while shedding light on my experience. ( I'll try to be brief )

I joined the tolkien fandom while writing for thranduil, it's here I gained my following in the fanbase and things went quite smoothly. however, upon beginning to write for mairon, then melkor and then later the ainur — I saw an increase in hate anons. something I have experienced before, natural of a multi fandom blog, but never to this degree. initially I assumed it was because I was simply growing larger as a blog, and perhaps that is the reason — but from what I noticed, I was battling with a bunch of chronically online people who simply could not handle my love for. . . "problematic characters"

I never understood it, really. I never saw other ainur blogs getting the hate I did - I guess I'll truly never know. had I done something? was my writing just not good enough? were my vibes off? over the time I've been called things like two faced, fake, a romanticiser of abuse, lazy for not filing out requests, been told I shouldn't write reader inserts, told to kms and other graphic incidents ( such as people sending death threats and actual gore to my inbox ). this branched from burner accounts to anons, and I could just never understand why me. a quick gander at the #clownon tag and you'll find some of the instances in which I've been harassed.

I genuinely thought my writing was the issue.

which demotivated me from writing for quite some time. could I have turned anon off? sure, but that would have meant that the anons I'd frequently interact with would most likely not come around anymore. it meant a decline in requests, it meant just a crippling factor to my blog in general, so I chose to ignore. but it got hard to eventually. I was bullied for liking a god with big wings just because for crying out loud.

I've tried to fake being okay. fake being strong and unwavering about the hate, but I just couldn't anymore. and that's okay.

it wasn't all tears and hardships though. I have made very good friends through the tolkien fandom, many of which I consider close. from @bluezenzennie to @kiatheinsomniac — @a-contemplation-upon-flowers , @cilil , @someoneinthestars and so so many more. it'd take me forever to tag and honestly my heart is squeezing so much listing these few down already. they made fandom fun, whether it was our silly little play fights or collabs or you name it. those of you that have spent time to tell me about your day on anon or send in the nicest of things. I haven't forgotten them, and I cherish them, but it's time for me to go

am I sad? fucking of course. a part of me found so much comfort here and in these characters. I've spent hours on end developing lore for aus or designing aesthetics for writing — just writing and pumping out content or blogs, everything and anything I could do. and while I don't regret those times - the way I've been treated in response hurts. which is why I've made this decision.

I'm growing as a person too. I'm writing a book now, I've got an oc blog to promote that book that I'm working hard on ( @valentine-cafe ) , things are looking good. does this mean I'm just gonna disappear? of course not. I plan on staying around, getting back into request writing ( for other fandoms ) and still interacting and supporting my tolkien moots and friends. will I be writing or creating content for tolkien? probably not. at least not in the foreseeable future. the characters I once loved and cherished have now been ruined for me. I've been made to feel embarrassed for loving manwe and namo to the degree that I have, and I don't see myself being able to write for ainur without thinking of all the shit I've gotten for doing so.

regardless, I'll be here still. and while I might not be your local valarfucker anymore, I hope to be your rose still 🩷 thank you so much for two and a half years, I love you all dearly

LUO YUNXI & BAI LU Behind the scenes of 'Till The End Of The Moon'

Aye aye!

On it!