Beam, I Want A Changmin Like This Irl Too

beam, i want a changmin like this irl too😭🧡

𝐬𝐮𝐛𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐩𝐨𝐞𝐭𝐫𝐲

ji changmin x gn!reader

1.3k words, est. relationship au, hurt/comfort, minor fluff but more angst?, a bit of silliness, mentions of work pressures, neck kisses, intimacy, mentions of playful biting, pretty much not beta'd or proofread (past my bedtime; written in an hour)

a/n: @kimsohn saw some of the goofiness first <3 ily (*breathes in deeply* idk what im doing guys. anyways, this belongs in the category labeled "i get yappy and sappy when im existentially exhausted")

In the dark, the clock on top of the oven screamed “3:22AM” in angry, red light. You stumbled past it, vision blurry and footsteps as quiet as you could make them against the hardwood. Your bones ached to the marrow and you could feel the blood throbbing violently in your skull; you could not sleep.

It had been three hours of tossing and turning before you completely gave up and slipped out into the kitchen. Usually, it wasn't too difficult for you to fall asleep, but alas, there would always be exceptions.

You managed to find the opened bag of tangerines on the kitchen counter, the orange, wiry mesh already torn from the last person who'd grabbed one to snack on. As your eyes grew accustomed to the dark, you dug your nail into its skin and began to peel it open.

Through your daze, you just barely registered the sound of the bedroom door opening—footsteps followed after and came closer; they weren't trying to stay quiet like you were, as there wasn't any reason to anymore. Hands patted you down from your shoulders to your arms until they could settle comfortably around your waist; his body slid flush against your back like a puzzle piece, still warm from being in bed. Hair tickled the underside of your jaw as he nestled his chin into the crook of your shoulder, the ghost of his breath fanning across your skin like a caress, relieved.

“Did I wake you?” You murmured, forcing yourself awake a little as you felt him lean more of his weight against you.

A low hum. “Bed got cold.”

The corners of your mouth tilted upward as you stuck a piece of fruit into your mouth—it was summer; the bed couldn't have been cold. Juice spilled over your tongue in a comfortingly sweet tang, and you went for another. “Sorry, love. Do you want some?” You asked, holding onto a piece of tangerine.

“Mm-mm,” Changmin hummed, shaking his head with a slight movement. You felt his arms give your body a squeeze. “Are you okay?” He asked, voice small.

You shoveled the remainder of the tangerine half into your mouth, hands reaching for another one to keep yourself busy as you chewed, then swallowed. “Tired.”

“Is it the thing?”

Just the thought of the thing—the project you were given charge of at work—made you wish the ground would swallow you up. Your hands stilled on the orange.

The project was the first you were given a manager role for, as they thought it appropriate because you came up with the idea, but it seemed to only be an excuse to overload you with every Herculean task they could think of. You were practically chained to your cubicle desk until day's end, only leaving to go to the bathroom and attend another god forsaken meeting. Where home was supposed to be for rest, you were often slumped over the dining table, stressing yourself silver.

The thought of Monday… no, you couldn't think of Monday. You'd gone so long working on this thing—how could they make you loathe an idea that you proposed?

At your lack of an answer, there came a small breath against your neck. His thumb gently rubbed your side back and forth, the ebb and flow of the tide. “I'm sorry, baby. I know it doesn't mean much, but I'm proud of you.”

“It does mean something,” you countered quietly, and moved one of your hands to place it over his that rested over your stomach. “I'm just—I hate it here sometimes.”

The two of you seemed to sigh at once, your chests raising up then deflating in tandem. It made the knots in your shoulders loosen for just a moment, and you could release some of the strain keeping you tight and awake.

“One more,” he coaxed lowly. “In—”

You both slowly pulled air up through your nose to fill the caverns in your chests.

“—Out.”

As all things came and went, so too did this breath.

“Good,” he murmured, his lips pressing something sweet against your throat.

You were too tired to cry, but you might have just then. Sometimes it was just a project, but other times it was everything to you. It was born from your two hands, your brains, your back, your bones. Plenty of blood, sweat, and tears had seeped into every proposal and presentation, but you could never tell if it was enough. Would it ever be enough?

Changmin's head shifted as you snuck another piece of orange past your lips. “Remember,” he said, “when we were in college, and I let you text girls on my Hinge?”

Your mouth sweetened into a smile at the memory. “It was only because I let you text the guy who'd given me his number.”

“He was so lame—he clearly just wanted you to go see that new Stephen King movie so he could hold your hand.” You could feel him roll his eyes in the dark, though his voice remained syrupy with sleep.

You held back a snort. “That's the point, hon. If I remember correctly, the pick-up lines I used on those girls actually worked.”

“Crazy.”

Now it was your turn to roll your eyes. You chewed on the next piece of fruit, swallowing it down before speaking again. “At least one of us has game.”

You felt the light pressure of his teeth against your shoulder, and you let out a surprised laugh. You didn't jerk away though—awfully used to your partner's strange language of affection—but you did push back against his forehead in lighthearted reprimand. “We talked about the biting.”

“Yeah, and you said you liked it.”

It was a good thing you didn't have fruit in your mouth. You warmed the slice of orange in your palm as you let the heat leave your cheeks and your neck. He could undoubtedly feel how flushed you were, and he seemed to preen at it.

“Gotcha,” he said smugly, and the smile on his lips molded against your skin as he left a kiss behind your ear. He nuzzled his nose there, too, fingers dancing along your side.

“I love you,” he said next. These words were quiet again. “I hate seeing you like this.”

You knew he meant the state he found you in—hunched over in the dark, eyes glazed over, and dread thrashing in your ears to fill the silence. The laughter that lit up your face just now had been his doing, his attempt at easing all of that burden.

You laid your head against his. “I love you, too.” You hated feeling this way, but some things had to be done. You had to see this one through, and you would.

“Don't run yourself ragged for this,” he said, as if reading your mind. “Can't let you lose yourself.”

The corners of your eyes prickled, your vision going blurry again. Your chewing slowed and you finished the last of the orange in your hands to clear the way for him to grab your fingers to intertwine them with his. He rocked your bodies slowly, dreamily—he was the gentle swaying of the waves beneath the raft you laid upon—and he was keeping you above water.

“Senior year of high school—” a miniscule break in his own voice, “—when college decisions came out… you didn't speak for so long, didn't eat. It was so quiet, and I—I didn't know how to help you.” Back then, the two of you were only labeled as best friends; you still hadn't decided if what you had back then was what you had now, but it was love in some form of the word and feeling. You supposed in every phase of knowing Ji Changmin, what you felt for him was love. “Can I help you now, please? How can I help you?”

You sucked in a breath and it came out trembling. “I'm just tired.”

“Yeah.”

“Just—that’s all. Just be here with me.”

You could feel his slight nod that turned into a tuck into your shoulder. Your pulse fluttered beneath the brush of his lips, his hands tightening around you. (I'm not going anywhere, not without you.)

In a night quickly dissolving into daylight, he held you and held you and held you.

tbz m.list

permanent taglist: @flwoie @vatterie @seomisaho @hqrana @ja4hyvn @outrologist @rikizm @luumiinaa @lotties-readings @tinkerbell460 @kaaimins @hyunjaespresent-deobi @otterly-fey @gluion @floatingpluto @winterchimez @ethereal-engene @gyulfriend @polarisjisung @jaehunnyy @shakalakaboomboo @loveliestfelix @bless-311 @zhaixiaowen @leaz-kpop-life @amourdsr @pxppxrminty @kqyutie @sseastar-main @kxthleen14 @fluorescentloves @mosviqu @kflixnet @bjnet

”friends don’t do that, it’s awkward”, QUICK CREATE A DIVERSION FOR OUR GIRLIE TO ESCAPE 😭

URS | sim jaeyun

now playing ☾⋆⁺₊🎧✩°｡ urs by niki

"the best at being the worst, but fuck sake i'm already urs "

PAIRING: jake x femreader

SYNOPSIS: a recollection of moments that lead you to confessing your love to your best friend, jake sim.

GENRE: best friends to lovers, fluff, angst (not sorry), student au

WORD COUNT: ~3.4k

WARNINGS: one curse word, mentions of god-drinking-loss of virginity, jake is oblivious, lowercase intended (mention of jay as well) barely proofread, kinda rushed (you can tell the second part was written last HELP)

MESSAGE FROM NIC: HAPPY (late) JAKE DAY 😁 (im a victim of procrastination sorry jake ily)

one rainy day in october was one you’d never forget. you had just started the 8th grade merely a month ago and you weren’t sure how well you were liking it. until that one fateful day. the day you deemed as the best day of your life.

it didn’t start out as the best at first though. the overcast sky had made you want to sleep in more, resulting in your mother threatening that you’d have to walk to school if you didn’t wake up soon. the rain that morning was brutal and unforgiving just like how your first period teacher was going to be if you didn't get to class on time. as soon as your mom parked at the drop-off section you burst through the door and made a run for the school entrance. your tiny body was being weighed down by your damp uniform and your loafers were dragging down the hall.

the clock was ticking with one minute left to make it to class and you’re determined to make it in time. perfect attendance meant a lot to your 14-year-old self and you weren’t going to let a storm get in the way of that. before you could reach for the door handle you feel yourself collide into something hard and you fall straight onto your back. “i’m so sorry! here let me help you up,” a boy’s voice rings in your ears and when you finally are able to look up, your heart stops beating.

a single spotlight shines down (it’s really just the janky hallway lights giving this effect but you’re too hypnotized to think about it) on a boy with the most beautiful, brown eyes you’ve ever seen. a bright, wide smile adorned his lips and you swear you can hear angels singing.

you take the hand that was outstretched to you and stand up, trying your best to get yourself together. you’re internally panicking because why does such a cute boy have to witness you in this state? hair all stringy, uniform jacket half off your body, and not going to lie, you kind of smell like wet dog. you think god is testing you today, he had to be.

the boy didn’t seem to mind though. he thought it was adorable the way you were flustered from running into him. all he could do was stare at you with that smile of his while you frantically made sure everything was in place. “ready?” the mystery boy says while opening the door to the classroom, flashing you a tiny grin. it takes you a second to realize but once you walk into the classroom, your face immediately flushes red in embarrassment. all eyes are on you and cute boy.

mentally you add this to the list of many reasons why you like to be punctual: you hated the nosy gazes people shot your way when you entered a room late. “YN! you’re 5 minutes late. this is unacceptable-” “oh i’m sorry about that sir. i’m new here and got lost and yn was just showing me to class. i’m jake by the way..” jake. jake. jake. you repeat his name in your head a few times before you decide that it’s now your favorite name in the world.

when your teacher assigns jake to be your seatmate and you his tour guide, for once you’re glad you were running late. you also mentally thank god and apologize for accusing him of all the bad things that happened this morning.

two peas in a pod is how people would describe you and jake. never once leaving each other’s side since that one rainy day. you two are so attached at the hip that your family stops questioning why one is always at the other’s house and starts asking when you guys would get together. it’s your freshman year of high school and everyone around you is starting to experiment with crushes and dating so it’s only natural for parents to be curious.

jake of course, is always quick to shut it down before you can even get a word out. “mom she’s my best friend! quit asking that.” you find yourself rolling your eyes everytime he says those infamous words. you want to tell his mom that you would love for her son to be your boyfriend. that you’ve liked him the moment you laid your eyes on him. that you’re not quite sure what love is at the age of 15, but you’re so sure that you feel it whenever you’re around jake.

though you never get to say those words, his has you thinking. you realize that this whole time he never, ever refers to you as a sister, just a best friend. is it silly that your heart flutters with the tiniest amount of hope that it gives you? call it delusion but you can’t help but smile when he leaves out that one little sentence.

“what? would it be so bad to date me?” you tease and lean in, your face almost touching his. if you were to utter another word your lips would be grazing his. the air around you two shifts, no one daring to make another move. his eyes flicker towards your lips for a second and look back up to meet your stare. that split second of hesitation on his end gives you a piece of hope that maybe. just maybe. he could feel the same way about you one day.

his parents share a knowing look before they exit the kitchen, leaving you two in your own world.

three is the number of girlfriends jake has had since you met him. you think three is too many. too many that weren’t you. the first two, gaeul and chaehyun, didn’t last very long.

jake’s track record of relationships so far never threatened your friendship in any way. it always went like this: jake and said girl add each other on social media. jake and girl enter the talking stage for a week. jake and girl start dating officially on the second week. jake and girl only last the next two weeks.

on the fourth week, jake and girl break up because they’re bored and you’re there to fix his broken heart (which only takes him a day of you two playing with layla at the dog park to get over it).

you figured when he meets yizhuo during junior year, it’ll be the same routine all over again. on exactly the fourth week of them being together, you find yourself knocking on his door with two triangle kimbaps and two mango flavored melona ice bars in a plastic bag. it’s what you always brought to cheer him up from a tragic (not really) breakup.

the door swings open and it’s not jake who answers, it’s yizhuo. “oh hi yn! i didn’t know you and jake were hanging out today? i can leave if you guys had plans!” all you can do is smile at her and nod your head no.

that’s another thing about jake’s girlfriends. they’re just as sweet as he is and they give you no reason to hate them. in the back of your mind you figure thats why jake doesn’t like you like that. your smart mouth and sassy attitude aren’t what he looks for in girls. he wants kind, beautiful girls as girlfriends, the total opposite of you. the space you take up in his heart is only enough room to be his best friend and his best friend only.

when you get home from basically being rejected, jake sends you an “im sorry :(“ text. you simply reply back with “its fine” because you can never stay mad at him.

you hate yourself for being weak and having the biggest soft spot for jake. he could even forget your birthday and you’d still forgive him. but how could you not?

as the night is nearing to a close and you’re laying in bed, a buzzing noise jolts you awake. taking your phone from the nightstand, you feign annoyance at the caller, “did you need to call in the middle of the night? i’m about to sleep you know!”

“don’t be so dramatic,” you could practically hear how his eyes are rolling playfully now, “i’m at your window. let me in doofus.” and even though you swore up and down to yourself that today was the day you start getting over jake, you let him in your room.

both of you end up on the floor, your backs resting on the foot of your bed with no one saying a word. the tension is thick for some reason and jake wants to get rid of it as fast as he can.

“hey,” he nudges your shoulder with his, “are you mad at me because i didn’t hang out with you earlier? in my defense, we didn’t have official plans.”

and there it his. his signature pouty face he always pulls when you’re mad at him. he knows it’s your kryptonite. you absolutely can’t resist it. and so you crack.

“okay stop it with that face i’m not mad! it was my fault for showing up unannounced. i’m sorry if i interrupted you and yizhou, i didn’t think she’d be there.” your voice goes weak by the end of your sentence, the mention of his girlfriend making you nauseous.

jake slides his arm around your shoulders and he brings you into a side hug. you allow yourself to melt into him and savor this moment, deciding that getting over jake will be for another time.

the tension in the air is dissipated into a comforting silence. it’s just jake and you. you and jake. something you wish will never change.

(jake and yizhuo end up staying together for eight weeks. you think eight is too many.)

four years later and you and jake are now 18, entering the next stage of life. college. it had been four years since the day you met him in that hallway, drenched from the rain. those years ended up being filled with late movie nights, countless study dates, and getting caught sneaking out for convenience store runs together way too many times. jake consumed every aspect of your youth and you couldn't help but feel excited that the future will too.

it’s the second time the two of you start freshman year together and a pact is made to stick together. not that anything would get in the way of your friendship because nothing ever has yet, but you both feel with this new beginning you guys needed to solidify the strong friendship you share. a new school meant new hobbies, new classes, new teachers, and more importantly, new friends. you both pinky promise to stay by each other’s side no matter what college would throw at you guys.

unfortunately, promises were always meant to be broken. the first couple of months started off strong, you and jake getting drunk on saturdays and being hungover at the library on sundays catching up on school work. the newfound freedom you both had made for the ultimate college experience. you two managed to form a little friend group that quickly grew close. there was never a dull moment with everyone around and especially never a dull moment with jake. things were good until they weren’t anymore and you couldn’t pinpoint exactly where everything started falling apart.

could it have been when jake lost his virginity to that cool senior ryunjin? that couldn’t be it, he never talked to her again and even expressed he wished it was you who he lost it to. (you don’t let it get to your head though, jake was never a coherent drunk.)

could it have been when he skipped out on your weekly study sessions for the first time to try out for intramural flag football? nope, that wasn’t it at all. though you were sad to not have been with jake that sunday to recap the wild events from the previous night, you were happy he was indulging in sports since it was his favorite thing to do (after hanging out with you of course.)

could it have been when jake said he strictly sees you as a best friend to the guys when they were teasing him about you? well, maybe. you didn’t mean to eavesdrop while you were walking up to the spot in the quad your friends always lounged at but upon hearing your name, you couldn’t help it.

“dude c'mon, you mean to tell me you’ve never once kissed yn? not even accidentally?” jay questioned while laying on his back, soaking up the sun. jake shrugs while sipping on his coffee, “nah man she’s been my best friend since we were in middle school. it would be really awkward.” jay seems to not believe it but he doesn’t pry anymore. “whatever man, all i’m saying is that if i had a “best friend” as pretty as yn i would’ve wifed her up real quick.” you don’t stay long enough to listen to what the rest of the conversation entails so you don’t hear jake say he’s considered it many, many times.

you should be used to him showing disdain at the idea of anything romantic towards you. you’ve spent all these years hearing the same comment over and over so it shouldn’t affect you this much. but this time, it’s different. though there may have been times that jake blew you off, he always did something to make up for it. growing up with jake meant you got to witness the changes he went through. he no longer pulled that cute pouty face to apologize to you. instead, he would buy you your favorite coffee and write cute notes on the cup everyday for a week. he would surprise you with movie tickets to a movie he knew you were interested in at the time. he would plan “epic sleepovers” (his words not yours) and cuddle you to sleep on those nights.

he makes up for the times he isn’t there for you and for a moment, you accept his new form of apologizing. “actions speak louder than words,” is a notion you firmly believed in so this false sense of reality jake created between the two of you only makes your heart grow fonder of him. so when he said he could never see you in that way, it hurts this time.

five days of ignoring jake is what it took for him to come banging on your apartment door, beeging to talk to you. it hurt you to have to do this, but what he did to you at a party about a week ago was your final straw.

it should’ve been like any typical saturday night. the friend group attending a random frat party and getting shitfaced wasn’t anything new, in fact you guys seemed to top every weekend together and this one shouldn’t have been different. it started with an intense game of beer pong, guys vs. girls. the only catch, losers have to give the winners a kiss. you don’t miss the way jay orchestrates the teams leading you and jake to go against one another and you definitely don’t miss jake’s unreadable expression when he realizes what’s going on.

did the thought of kissing you really disgust him that much? you shrug it all off and continue to play because there was no way you were getting out of this situation with your drunk friends. they’d never let you hear the end of it calling you a “pussy” for chickening out on a simple game of beer pong. as the game goes on, you can feel your nerves growing. no matter the outcome, you were about to have your very first kiss with jake out of all people. once your final throw of the game makes it into the last cup, the crowd around you cheers.

you glance at jake with hopeful eyes but his never meet yours. before you could even take a step towards him, he interrupts you. "guys i’m not gonna kiss yn. friends don’t do that, it’s weird.” he steps away from the group and you can hear your heart shattering in your chest. taking a look around all you see are pitiful eyes directed towards you.

that night ended in you crying yourself to sleep, the realization hitting you that after everything you two have been through, jake truly didn’t feel the same as you did. the destructive thoughts plaguing your mind lead you to ignoring jake for the first time ever in your friendship with him. you couldn’t handle seeing him as he basically embarrassed you in front of all of your friends. if jake couldn’t even last one second kissing you because he lost a stupid game of beer pong, what makes you think he could ever want to be in a relationship with you?

hours have passed now and jake hasn’t stopped knocking at your door. he’s sitting on the cold, concrete floor leaving light taps while the words “yn, let me innn” leave his mouth every two minutes. the weather turned gloomy, much like your mood, and you finally decide to let jake in. you can’t have him walking back home in the rain can you?

“finally. yn please let me apologize-” “what’s there to apologize for? i’m not sure why you waited outside the door for so long when we have nothing to talk about.” jake shakes his head in disbelief. sure you can be pessimistic and hard headed at times but it was never directed towards him. he leads you to sit across from him on your tiny couch and the awkwardness settles in.

“look. i’m sorry for what i said that night. i just didn’t want to do anything you’d regret. we’ve been friends for so long and i-”

“GOD JAKE! are you an idiot?! why would i ever regret kissing you? have you been this blind the whole time?” when he doesn’t say a word you continue, “i have been in love with you this whole damn time! i love your beautiful brown eyes. your cute smile. the way you laugh at everything i do even when i make a bad joke. i love the that you remember every little thing about me and you listen to every word i have to say. i love how you have the biggest heart and you always left a space in it for me all of these years. how you make sure i’m never left out. how we can we be absolutely be doing nothing but it doesn’t matter because i’m with you.

so yes. i WANTED to kiss you. i thought that would finally be my chance but i guess not. you clearly don’t feel the same way and i appreciate you staying outside my door for so long to apologize but i’m far too embarrassed now that i’ve finally confessed so if you could just please leave so i can start getting over you.”

once you finish rambling you finally take a look at jake. you know him like the back of your hand, always being able to read his emotions but lately, you’re not so sure. you can’t seem to figure out what he’s thinking right now and you’re sure his silence is a sign you’ve been right this whole time.

“are you gonna let me speak now?” you nod your head slowly and let him talk. “i know. i’m an idiot. i’m an idiot for never realizing your feelings but an even bigger one for not realizing my own.” he makes his way towards you and takes your face in his hands, “i’m in love with you too yn. i love everything about you and then some.” his confession leaves you at a loss for words and jake takes it as a sign to finally kiss you.

when his lips touch yours everything feels right again. you’ve waited so long for this moment and it couldn’t have been more perfect. butterflies erupt in your stomach and sparks are flying everywhere. after a few shared kisses you rest your forehead against his. a smile breaks onto your face and you stare into his eyes longingly. it was just jake and you. you and jake.

“so. will you be mine yn?”

“i was already yours to begin with, doofus.” jake flashes that cute smile of his that you love and leans in to kiss you once again.

you've spent four years wondering if jake could ever return your feelings. day after day being his best friend that's hopelessly in love with him. now that you didn't have to wonder anymore, you deem that this rainy day is the best day of your life.

© fakeuwus 2023 do not repost, translate, or plagiarize

yeosang, has my heart in this, the sweet awkward bean that he is 🥹💘

as your college neighbors — ateez hyung line

pairing : ateez hyung line x gn!reader ➖⟢ genres : fluff, neighbor!au, college!au ➖⟢ cw : food mentions, a tiny bit of feeling insecure in yeo's part ➖⟢ wc : 0.9K

[ 🦪 ] hongjoong — oftentimes, your apartment is like a refuge to him. he gets moments of quiet, so long as the other boys haven’t crashed there for their fun times. even better, though, he gets you. even if you’re off to class three minutes after he’s arrived, the sight of you packing your backpack the same way you always do is a  comfort enough for him amongst the chaos that’s swirling around him. you smile at him before swinging open the front door, reminding him that he’s free to any of the food in your kitchen (except the last few garlic cloves that you’re saving for a recipe). you make him laugh like you always do. as if he’d find reason to help himself to your waning supply of fresh garlic. little do you know, he picked up more garlic at the grocery store yesterday because he noticed you running out of it last time he was here, and he knows how much you use it in your cooking. he’ll be gone by the time you get back, he’s got classes in the evening, but you’ll see the extra ingredients right before you start to make dinner and it’ll make you smile, maybe even kiss him on the cheek next time he comes over like you do sometimes. it makes him wonder what he is to you, but no matter what, your smile alone is everything he could ever ask for.

[ 🦪 ] seonghwa — he worries, that’s all. now your fridge is full of food and it’s all from him. it started with his leftovers, after he made too much food for him and his roommate hongjoong. he didn’t even notice that you popped into his head before any of the other boys to share with this time. surely, he still give them food, but they’re stuck with the leftovers. for the record, the leftovers are amazing, and you were more than grateful for them. but at some point, as hongjoong rests on your couch for some peace of mind, you realize the dishes in your fridge are no longer leftovers from last night. you ask hongjoong if he wants any bibimbap to munch on before remembering outloud he probably ate that for dinner last night. he denies it; he ate out last night with seonghwa, yunho, and mingi. that’s how you find out that this morning’s “leftover” delivery was made just for you and it turns out that half the dishes you get for free are too. you confront seonghwa, trying to tell him not to spend all the time and money it must take for these meals on you. he tells you it’s no big deal, but now you’re always asking hwa over just so you can make him a meal. sitting in your space, looking at you from across your small dining table, seonghwa is convinced that he’s met an angel.

[ 🦪 ] yunho — he loves it when you text him that you’re on the way over. that way he can look out his bedroom window and catch sight of you walking in through the apartment complex’s front door. what he loves even more is you seated on the edge of his bed (or even better, you all the way up on it, your back resting against his pillows). something about you in his space, all comfortable and sweet looking, has his heart doing backflips. in his mind, you belong there, with him. you fit in with his things somehow, just as if it’s the only thing that could be right. sure, he loves to visit your apartment, to see you in the place where you’re most at home. it’s just that he finds pride in the fact that you look like you’re at home in his place too. it makes him happy that his space can be somewhere that you can let out a deep sigh and feel okay grabbing a snack from the kitchen after class because you came straight here from campus. call him “delusional,” as wooyoung might, but it makes him feel like you’re kinda, just a little bit, his.

[ 🦪 ] yeosang — he only comes over when one of the other guys is too, because, to be so honest, he’s too shy to go over by himself. but he loves being your neighbor. he loves knowing you’re right down the hall, he loves when you knock on his door and he opens it to the sight of you in your pajamas and a shy smile on your face. his heart drops just a bit when you ask him if san is around because secretly, so secretly, he wishes you would knock on the door looking so pretty just for him. but he thinks it makes sense. who wouldn’t want to be around san, one of the sweetest, brightest, most affectionate people out there? yeosang’s awkward and unable to show you physically or verbaly that he kind of adores you. san has no trouble with that, and yeosang sees the way it makes you smile. he wants to make you smile like that. regardless, he tells you that san went out with seonghwa and jongho and expects to lovely smile on your face to slip just a little. instead, it grows a bit, not because san’s gone, but because all you need from him is to return the textbook you borrowed and you really came because you want spend time with yeosang. you want to know him, because his awkwardness is so incredibly endearing and you don’t hear his voice as often as you’d like since you’re never alone with him. that day he finds out he’s good at making you smile, too.

Forever known to be a duck-whisperer 😂😂😂

That Kids, Is How I Met Your Father - Seonghwa X Reader

Part of the CODN Summer Event - See You On The Flip Side

Genre: Mature, Angst, Crack, Fluff, Non-idol!AU

Pairing: Seonghwa X GN!Reader

Words: 2,700

Rating: T for Teen

Warnings: Mentions of kidnapping, but really it's a really funny misunderstanding, a gun!, mature themes, not edited, I'll do that laterrrrr so please excuse any errors

A/n: Since the event was announced and I saw the first prompt, this has been living in my head rent free lmaooo I had way too much fun writing this, so I hope you all like it as well! It's not meant to be taken too seriously, so just have fun when reading it! At least, I hope you will! As always feedback is greatly appreciated! Enjoy!~

Summary: You seem to have the most rotten luck when it comes to chatting up strangers... and asking them for help...

Prompt: Accidentally kidnapping a mafia boss.

You have no idea how you got here. Perhaps it’s your penchant for excitement, or maybe even your love of adventure. However, if anyone would have told you that you’d be in this situation, you would have laughed in their face… followed promptly by an excited, yet curious, ‘really?’

Honestly, you can’t be mad. He is rather cute, and he did go along with it to start.

That’s what happens when you trust a stranger.

You had seen your ex across the park with their new fling walking hand in hand. Or, rather, the person they had been seeing the whole time while you had supposedly been in a relationship with them. Seeing them out looking so joyous had something within you twisting unpleasantly, and if they could look so happy being together and away from you, then so could you.

Looking around the park, you had done a quick scan of the area. Weeding out potential dangers, you finally zeroed in on your target. A man with shaggy black hair half tied up in a ponytail. He appeared to be alone, and the fact that he was crouched by the pond chatting with the ducks had an immediate good feeling towards him building within your gut.

Without a moment to waste, you ran over to him.

“Hi, I know this is really sudden, but could you do me a huge favour?” Your words come out rushed, cheeks heating as you avert your gaze to the side.

Unfortunately for you, your gaze caught on your ex and their now partner rounding the closest bend and getting even closer to where you were standing.

You didn’t even give the man time to respond. All you did know, was that he had stood back to his feet beside you, his beauty captivating you the moment you turned to meet his curiously quirked brow.

“Great, thanks.” You say, offering him a tight smile.

The sound of laughter meets your ears, and you immediately find yourself stepping closer into this mystery man’s side.

A call of your name draws your attention to the side.

“Oh, hey, Colin,” you grin, chuckling awkwardly as you meet his gaze. “Fancy seeing you here.”

“Well, we were just out for an afternoon stroll through the park, and I couldn’t help but notice you with-“

“Oh, excuse me,” the man beside you clears his throat, extending his hand out towards Colin. You fail to see the pointed look he shoots your ex’s now partner. “Where are my manners? My name is Seonghwa.”

You swear you see Colin’s partner stiffen beside him, their eyes catching on a large silver and black ring on the duck watcher’s - Seonghwa’s - hand.

“So, how long have you and Seonghwa been together-“

“Well, it was great seeing you!” You cut their words off eagerly, a tight smile painting your lips. 

Grabbing Seonghwa’s hand in your own, you pull him down the path and in the opposite direction of the two of them a bit frantically. You need to get away from an even more awkward conversation than what had already been started mere minutes ago.

“This was a dumb idea.” You keep muttering over and over to yourself as you drag him along. “God- how could I have been so stupid?”

You fail to see the curious quirk of the man’s brow trudging behind you.

Taking a quick look around, you manage to rush across the street and into a side alleyway. It’s a bit secluded, but you could use the space right now. Especially after seeing your ex again.

It takes you a full minute to realize that you’re still holding this mystery man’s hand.

“Should I even ask?” His amused voice greets your ears.

Instantly, you drop his hand, beginning to pace.

“All this time I thought I was over doing stupid things like this to get his attention, but no!” You drawl out that last word, shaking your head. “I just had to go and drag a random stranger into it instead of walking away. God, that was probably so uncomfortable for you. I’m so sorry!” You turn to him, your eyebrows drooping. “You probably think I’m some crazy person obsessed with their ex, or something. I promise you I’m not!”

Your words start rising in pitch, voice taking on a more frantic tone.

“I’m just…. upset at how happy they look after what they did-“ you take a sharp breath in. “And you probably don’t even care, oh my god. Here I am ranting to a literal stranger over my old relationship problems after dragging him across the street.”

The corner of Seonghwa’s lips quirk, resting his one shoulder against the brick wall of the alleyway casually. His eyes continue to track your every movement, amusement dancing within his gaze as he listens to you rant like he’s not even there.

After a few more minutes of you seemingly working yourself up, he cannot help but chuckle, “You know, there’s not many people brave enough to do what you just did.”

This seems to halt you right in your tracks.

You blink, turning to face him fully, and noticing how he’s still been here this whole time.

“To be fair, I thought you would have bolted the moment I dragged you into this alleyway.”

“You’re blocking the only exit.” The grin he wears only widens, watching as your eyes seem to dart everywhere but towards him now.

“Oh.” You laugh awkwardly. “So, I am.”

He says nothing in response, simply continuing to watch you in amusement as he crosses his arms over his chest.

“Well, then…” you clear your throat, stepping pointedly to the side. “I won’t keep you any longer.”

His grin only stretches wider across his face. “You sure about that?”

“Well, unless you want to hear all about the relationship struggles of a stranger, I won’t hold you hostage any longer.” You motion for him to walk passed with your hand, signifying his freedom.

“Believe me,” he pushes himself off of the wall, yet opts to stand directly across from you still with his arms crossed. “If I had wanted to escape, there is no way you could have held me here.”

To say you are taken back by his bluntness would be a great understatement.

“Oh?” Your brows raise, an expression of disbelief coating your features. “I mean, it’s not like I was being forceful!”

“On the contrary,” he chuckles, his eyes dancing in amusement. “I had no other choice than to follow you after you had grabbed my hand.”

“Well, I highly doubt you couldn’t have just pulled your hand free-“

“But then what would have our dear Colin have thought?” He hums, tilting his head slightly. “Would have been so scandalous for a couple to act so repulsed of one another.”

“I said I was sorry!” Your shoulders deflate. “You seemed like the best option in the park at the time and I took a chance! You’re the one who went along with it.”

“I’m not so heartless that I would leave someone in clear distress.” His words come out a little sharper than before, and you notice his eyes seem to harden for a moment.

You recoil slightly, blinking at him in disbelief. “I never said that you were.”

He holds your gaze, his jaw ticking. His shoulders seem tense.

“Well, thanks for your help, oh, great kung fu master,” you say, bowing dramatically with an arm across your chest while the other extends out towards the opening of the alleyway. “My apologies if I disturbed your duck whispering rituals.”

Seonghwa takes a moment to observe you, his head tilting curiously. A blink, and you have yet to come up from your mockery of a bow, which only causes a huff of disbelief to escape him through his nose.

“You really have no idea who I am, do you?”

You lift your head, brow furrowed. “Should I?”

Your response clearly catches him off guard. So much so, that he drops his arms to his side.

“Are you some celebrity that I don’t know about?” You shake your head, attempting to place if you’ve seen him on a talk show, or in headlines recently.

This time, the disbelief is clear on his face. “You’ve got to be shitting me…”

“I assure you, sir,” you reply pointedly, “that if I had any idea who you were, I most likely would not have approached the least intimidating stranger making animal crossing sounds at the ducks.”

His mouth falls open, eyes widening as he attempts to refute your statement.

“It was rather sweet, if I’m being honest with myself-“

A blink, and suddenly he has you pinned to the wall of the alleyway. His hands hold tightly to your shoulders, pressing you harshly against the brick as his dark eyes meet your own.

“You need to forget everything you saw, and, or heard today.” He says firmly, his lips curling over his teeth.

“Woah,” you attempt to lift your hands in a shrug, but at the way he pushes you firmer into the wall, his body now pressed against your own, you grimace. “Didn’t realize being human was a sin.”

“You don’t understand-“

“Oh, I don’t understand?” You nod once, slowly, your eyes wide. “Because I’m pretty sure this has taken quite a turn from what we both expected from the other.”

“You don’t realize how dangerous I can be-“

“Is this supposed to be some kind of bad boy act, because it really could use some work-“

“It’s not an act!”

“Oh, really?” You quirk a brow, the corner of your lips quirking. “Then, is that a gun in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?”

The man before you lets out a long sigh, his head dropping as he takes a step away from you. His hands move almost too fast for you to see, but at the sleek black object that he pulls out, your eyes nearly bulge from your head.

“A gun!” 

“Keep your goddamn voice down,” Seonghwa hisses, tucking the object into the back waistband of his jeans. “I told you I wasn’t fucking around.”

However, you’re not even paying attention anymore.

“Oh my god, I’m going to die….” You’re mumbling again, blinking rapidly as you lean against the wall for support. “Stupid, stupid, stupid trying to enlist help from a stranger. A stranger with a gun, no less…” You smile tightly, looking like you may let out a shriek of disbelief at any second. “I’m gonna be kidnapped, and my cats will have no one to take care of them-“

“I’m not going to kidnap you.” He sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. He goes to reach for you in attempts to calm you down, but you recoil, causing him to immediately back down. “Your cats won’t be orphaned. Relax.”

“But you have a gun!” You whisper harshly, as if it should be obvious why he is a sudden threat to you.

“Hey, if anyone is the kidnap victim here, it’s me.” He hums, that same look of amusement back in his eyes.

“I didn’t-“

“I’ve already had to tell my personal guards to stand down twice since you’ve whisked me away-“

“I was about to knee you in the balls!” 

“Yeah, you definitely would have been shot for that.” He states, rather casually at that.

The look of horror that paints your features is near comical at this point.

He blinks. “You’re not going to be shot-“

“I’m too young to die! I still have my whole life ahead of me!” You begin to wail dramatically.

“You’re not going to die.” He sighs, shaking his head lightly in amusement.

“Says the man with the gun!” You flail your hands, motioning to him with wide eyes. “I knew celebrities valued their privacy, but threats are a whole different ball game.”

“I guess you could call me somewhat of a celebrity.” He shrugs casually, seeming to bask in the idea.

“You, sir, need to sort out your priorities.” You deadpan.

“Says the person freaking out about getting shot by a gun I already put away.” He counters. “Believe me, if I had wanted you dead, you would have been by now.”

“Well, that just makes me feel loads better!” You throw your hands in the air in exasperation. “You certainly know how to pick someone up at the park.”

“You kidnapped me!” He replies, just as exasperatedly.

“I thought you said you’d have no trouble getting away if that were the case.” You simper, nose in the air as you cross your arms over your chest.

A moment of silence passes between the two of you as he takes you in. Then, the most startling sound escapes him since the beginning of your encounter with this mystery duck whisperer.

He laughs. Not a small chuckle, or puff of amusement. A loud, boisterous laugh which echoes off of the bricks of the alleyway as he nearly doubles over.

“God, I haven’t had this much fun since Joong shattered the duplicate blood ruby we were supposed to use to pull off the Mont Blanc heist.” Seonghwa straightens, attempting to catch his breath as he wipes at the corner of his eyes.

You blink, his words seeming to trigger a memory inside of your mind. Curiously, you tilt your head as flashes of breaking news bulletins flit through your mind, your mouth falling open in disbelief. You hand lifts, shaking lightly as you point a finger at him.

“You’re the leader of the notorious Hala gang?” Your eyes go wide, stunned disbelief painting your features. That is, until a shrill laugh is leaving your lips.

Now, it’s your turn to double over in laughter.

“You- you’re the-“ More peels of laughter escape you, hunching over to rest your hands on your knees.

“What’s so hard to believe?” He quirks a brow, seemingly amused by your reaction currently.

“You were making animal crossing noises at the ducks!” Your lips quirk upwards in the corners. “The big, bad, scary Hala boss spends his free time at the pond, cooing to the ducks!”

“Well, we all need hobbies other than murder sometimes.” He shrugs, as if this is the most normal conversation to be having.

“Right,” you drawl out, shooting him a sceptical look. “And diamonds aren’t a girl’s best friend. Or, well, in this case, blood diamonds.”

“Actually, it was a ruby. But, fair enough,” he chuckles, his eyes shining as he stares at you across from him.

“Oh, pardon me,” you roll your eyes playfully. “We can’t all be versed in the world of jewels and gemstones.”

He takes a brief moment to observe you, seemingly coming to a decision. The corner of his lips twitches upwards.

“Would you like to be?”

His question clearly catches you off guard, and you nearly go tumbling over your own two feet as you push yourself off of the wall. “Excuse me?”

“Well, seeing as you’ve separated me from my lovely ducklings, and kidnapped me against my will…” he hums, closing the distance between the two of you carefully. “I think it’s only fair that we do something to my benefit this evening. Wouldn’t you agree?”

Almost as soon as he finishes speaking, he offers you his arm. A soft smile tugs at his lips, that glimmer of amusement shining once more within his dark eyes. He holds no aura of intimidation around him, nor does he seem to have any intent of harming you for the moment. Still, you cannot help but to eye him cautiously.

Your gaze flicks from his arm to his face, studying him carefully. Your brow quirks, and you cannot deny the spark of excitement that kindles within you as you gently place your hand on his arm.

“If my cats are suddenly orphaned cause I’m dead in a ditch somewhere…”

“Believe me, Darling,” Seonghwa chuckles lowly, his breath ghosting the shell of your ear as he leans into you. He lightly tugs you in closer as you both exit the alleyway, ensuring that you’re pressed right against his side. “When I’m done with you, you’ll be begging to stay.”

two orbits coming together to create a solar-eclipse, aka two besties finally sit down to talk 😂

ᵕ̈ ೫˚∗: sun and moon | lhc

summary | your childhood best friend, donghyuck, claims he loves you. given his other friends and who he is as a person, you don’t believe him.

genre | lee haechan x fem!reader, high school seniors! au, childhood best friends to lovers, angst, fluff at the end, hyuck + the rest of 7dream are canonical assholes

warnings | high school parties (i.e. underage drinking)

wc | 6.1k

a/n: got a little carried away w this one, so thanks to the anon who requested it! anywho, i listened to tek it by cafune on repeat while writing this, so if u want a song rec ^^ imagine black haired glimo hc for this one <33 (p.s., if you want to play the game reader describes, this is the link) (p.p.s ignore their high school classes this is fanfic logic)

ft. sungchan, loona’s gowon, le sserafim’s chaewon

IT’S A SATURDAY AFTERNOON, and Donghyuck is laying down on your bed, watching you play whatever stupid video game you were infatuated with now. He didn’t come over often, not since your first year, so there was a slight bit of awkwardness between you two.

Nevertheless, you allow him to lay there, dressed in the tacky cool-guy getup that he seemed to love so much.

Outside, rain poured, and you knew that was the chief reason he was in your bedroom right now. If there wasn’t a flash flood warning, he’d be out and about with Mark Lee, Na Jaemin, and the rest of them, ruining people’s days left and right for the fun of it.

You wanted to consider Donghyuck to be your best friend, still. Given who he was now, the reputation he harbored, and the lack of time spent with one another, you didn’t feel like he was.

“I don’t understand the game,” he said, catching your attention fairly easily. You turned your head, giving him a dirty look for interrupting your flow. “You just look like you’re putting lines and boxes on a screen, but there’s a score.”

“You’re supposed to make paths. You close them off with the little dots,” you mumbled, turning back to your screen. The sound of Donghyuck sliding off your bed and kneel-walking to your side filled your ears but was mostly drowned out by the rain and the sound of the music coming through your speakers.

He stopped his kneel-walk adjacent to you, squinting at the screen. You didn’t slow down or try to explain your moves, simply placing each piece you were given in a way that most made sense.

“I seriously don’t get it. Is there a strategy to this?”

“No.”

“So you just…play for fun?”

“U-huh.”

“Man,” he mumbled, leaning his chin on the edge of your desk. You continued playing, clicking your shapes around into places they most fit, ignoring the way Dongyuck seemed to stare at you, now, rather than the game. “Who’ve you been hanging out with, these days?”

That question struck a chord. Briefly, you remembered the week-and-a-half where you stuck to Donghyuck as he began growing close with his current friends, and how left out you felt through the whole experience. It was, quite possibly, the worst week of your life.

“Sungchan from the grade below, Chaewon, and Gowon,” you replied, wondering if he’d even know who they were. From the way he didn’t respond, you assumed he didn’t, which hurt a little bit. “Uh, Chaewon is—”

“The girl with the short hair. Yeah, Renjun had a bit of a thing for her a while ago,” he cut you off with some unprompted information, which shocked you. If you remembered correctly, Chaewon had a massive crush on him for about a year; the new information made you wonder if he’d pursued her and dropped her the moment he’d found a better target.

“Really? Huh,” you hummed, glancing down at him. You made eye contact for a split second, but you broke it off the moment you realized how intense his stare was.

“So, how do you play this game?”

A small sigh escaped your lips, short in duration yet heavy in weight. You pointed at one of the boxes on the screen, turning to him once again. “You want to put the little circles in the boxes. Using the ‘X’ shapes, parallel lines, and the single lines, you want to connect all the boxes together to make paths. You put the little circles on the end of empty lines, too. You get points depending on how many circles you put in the boxes and how many circled-off paths you make.”

“Yeah, that makes absolutely no sense,” he scoffed. You were glad his attention was on the screen again. A bright flash of light broke through your bedroom windows, followed by a floor-shaking boom shortly thereafter. “You were always smarter than I was.”

“Not a chance. You just never tried hard enough.”

Silence fell between you two, and the only noise in the room turned into soft clicks and the droning of your music. It was nice being able to pretend like he wasn’t there, although you couldn’t help but wonder when you started feeling so…averse towards him. Maybe it was a product of the leftover hurt of his abandonment last year, or maybe it was because of how different his presence was.

When you were little, your mom always called him the sun and you the moon. He was bright and happy, always dressed in vibrant colors and ready to stand up for you whenever anyone did or said anything mean. He loved it when you and your mom took him to the beach, in the same way you loved it when he and his mom took you up into the countryside.

You were opposites as a kid, in the way that you were puzzle pieces that easily fit together. At some point, though, other pieces were added to that puzzle, and you both were torn apart by pieces that just fit better.

“[First]! Donghyuck!” Your mom called, her voice barely comprehensible above the pouring rain and the music. “Dinner!”

You picked up your phone, paused the music, and unplugged your phone from its charger. But, before you could stand up, Donghyuck put a hand on your knee, sending a shiver down your spine. You gave him a look, mentally saying “what the hell?” but he quickly explained himself.

“Can we talk? Just for a second.”

You gave him another look but complied. “One second, Mom!” you yelled, hoping she heard. “Just finishing up a game!”

He pushed himself off the floor, taking a seat on the edge of the bed. You spun around in your desk chair, pulling your knees up to your chest and chewing on the inside of your cheek. He cleared his throat as if he was nervous, which would be surprising given his personality.

You never thought you’d see the day when both you and Donghyuck were nervous to talk to each other.

“You don’t hate me or anything, right?”

You wished you knew the answer to that.

“What? No,” you replied, shaking your head. “Why would I hate you? We just grew apart, it’s not the end of the world. It was bound to happen.”

“Yeah, well,” he mumbled, looking off to the side. There was a pause in his sentence, then he cleared his throat again. “I’m in love with you.”

The whole room seemed to freeze over. You were utterly speechless.

“Pardon?”

“I love you. A lot. Like, love you.”

Letting your mind move faster than your mouth, you replied faster than you would’ve wanted to.

“No, you don’t.”

That seemed to stun him, as his eyes widened and his lips parted ever-so-slightly. You watched as hurt filled his expression, but you couldn’t help but stick with your response. He didn’t move to say anything else, so you stood up, stretching your arms into the air.

“Look, we’re friends and all, but you don’t love me, Hyuck. You can’t love someone when you barely know them.”

Saying that probably hurt you more than it hurt him, but you stood by it nonetheless. “How do I barely know you?” he asked, standing and walking to block your path. “Did I imagine the past fifteen years or something? I practically know everything there is to know about you.”

“I’m not sixteen anymore, dude. We’re practically eighteen. The last time we talked frequently was the end of our first year,” you said, crossing your arms. “If you told me you were in love with me back then, I might’ve believed you. But, as things stand right now, you are not.”

“You’re being ridiculous,” he replied, frowning at you. “A year isn’t going to change everything about you, [First]. I knew you were weird about this, but that’s—that’s just ridiculous. Don’t you realize how ridiculous that is?”

“It’s not very ridiculous when I spent three months wondering if we were even friends anymore. You realize it took you three months to even text me back? You ignored me, pretended like I wasn’t there, and now you expect me to think you’re in love with me? Give me a break.”

“Maybe I ignored you because I was trying to get rid of the part of me that was hopelessly in love with you because I didn’t want to destroy the decade and a half of friendship we’ve built. Ever consider that? I bet not because you’re always so goddamn unreasonable with this. God forbid anyone gets too close, huh? God forbid the one person who knows you best get too close.”

“I let you get close, Donghyuck,” you spat, narrowing your eyes. “I put my whole trust into you, my entire life was you. I was nothing if not yours, and then you threw me to the curb the moment you found better people. I’m not upset about that, it was bound to happen, but—”

“But what?”

“But you didn’t even apologize.”

He scoffed at that, crossing his arms. “Oh my god, it’s not like I told you to fuck off and never talk to me again, did I? Back then even looking at you was difficult, but, for the entire three months, my friends—who you so vehemently hate—kept telling me to reach out. I thought that if you disappeared, if I pretended like I never let my feelings go that far, things would go back to normal, but they didn’t. They still haven’t.”

“Why now, then? Why now, after I already decided that our friendship was pretty much over, huh? Why did you wait? Why not after those three months? Why not any time other than now?”

You side-stepped past him, opening the door to your bedroom and approaching the stairwell. You didn’t hear him follow, but you didn’t care to look back or check what he was doing. Instead, you ran downstairs, cringing when your mom’s face turned into one of confusion.

“Where’s Donghyuck, sweetie?”

“He’ll be down in a second,” you said nonchalantly, assuming your normal seat at the dinner table. “He just needed to deal with something quickly.”

-

The summer sun beamed down on you and your friends, and you lamented the lack of clouds, or really anything, blocking the sun. You sometimes wondered why you and your friends had decided to eat lunch at the very corner of the school’s soccer field, but, when the weird time between summer and autumn hit, you were sure to remember.

“It’s so god damn hot,” Sungchan panted, flopping onto the grass. The green seemed to cradle him in a way that made him look a bit majestic, even with your ugly uniforms. Chaewon hummed in agreement, shoveling noodles in her mouth; she, like you, always brought lunch from home.

“Where’s Gowon?” you asked, glancing down at him. He put a hand over his eyes, covering the painful gaze of the sun. “Did you see her in the lunch line?”

“She’s not walking over yet?” Sungchan asked, turning his head towards you. Chaewon waved away a fly that was getting too close to his uncovered lunch, mumbling something about how bugs in the summer were always so terrible. “She wasn’t too far behind me in line. I dunno where she would’ve gone.”

“Hm.”

You scanned the field, looking for any sign of her, but she was nowhere to be found. Chaewon turned her whole torso around to look as well, looking for any sign of her. “She might’ve gotten caught up with somebody. I’ll go check, just to make sure.”

She hopped up from the grass, running in the direction of the building’s doors. You looked at Sungchan, who didn’t move at all. “Dude, P.E. wrecked me today. I can barely feel my legs.”

“You wouldn’t have to take P.E. if you had taken a music course.”

“Oh, shut up, not everybody is as perfect and lovely as you, [First],” he huffed, pushing himself off the grass. You reached out and brushed a blade of grass out of his hair, but he didn’t thank you for the gesture at all. “You’re quiet today. Is everything good?”

No, my childhood best friend, who I didn’t think even liked me as a friend anymore, confessed his love for me, you thought.

“Yeah, just a bit tired. We had a big English test today.”

“Gross,” he replied, finally picking up his tray and beginning to eat. “Man, I can’t imagine having to start preparing for my CSATs. Do you ever go home?”

“I don’t study often. I’m gonna study enough to get into a college and get a degree.” You shrugged, taking a bite out of the fruit sandwich your mom had made you after you woke up incredibly late. Suddenly, in the distance, the doors to the school building burst open, revealing Chaewon, who was dragging Gowon behind her. Gowon barely had a steady handle on her lunch tray, keeping it balanced enough that it wouldn’t spill everywhere as they ran.

“Jesus,” Sungchan muttered, taking a bite of whatever they served for lunch that day.

Gowon and Chaewon made it to you both at record speeds, with Chaewon practically sliding into her previous sitting spot. “Dude,” she began, huffing and puffing from the running she did. Gowon practically crumbled onto the floor, taking three big swigs from her water bottle. “What in the world happened between you and Donghyuck?”

“What?”

“I found Gowon, like, surrounded by his little gang as he talked to her. She looked like she was going to faint, but he pretty clearly asked where you were,” she giggled, reaching out and slapping your shoulder. “So? What is it?”

“He told me he was in love with me yesterday.”

Chaewon practically shrieked with joy, to the point where it almost made you feel bad for the outcome of his stark leap. “And? And?”

“I told him that he didn’t love me and that he doesn’t know me very well anymore.”

Gowon choked on her water, covering her mouth and trying not to spit it all out. Instead, she just coughed to the side, barely able to swallow it all down. Sungchan stared at you in complete shock, and Chaewon’s excited face morphed into a sad and confused one.

“Excuse me?” Gowon breathed out. “You what? You, [First] [Last], known for your compassion and kindness, said what?”

“I mean, he doesn’t love me. He loves who he knew a year ago, when we were still attached at the hip and he still wore that stupid yellow bomber jacket that I bought him in middle school,” you sighed, taking another bite of the sandwich. “I’m not—I’m not the same, you know? I like different things, I do different things, and I hang out with different people. He’s not the same either. It wouldn’t…it just wouldn’t work.”

“Bullshit.” Sungchan laughed dryly, giving you a sour look. “You can’t just say that to someone confessing their love to you, no matter how well you know them. I mean, imagine if you worked up the courage to confess to someone and they immediately invalidated your feelings?”

“It’s not like I don’t know that my approach was bad, but it’s the truth. We just aren’t compatible as we are now.”

“But…but weren’t you two…? I mean don’t you still hang out?” Chaewon asked, frowning.

“When he can’t make it to his other friends, yes. Snow days, the flash flood yesterday, when we had that huge dry lightning storm and the power went out. I’m his backup entertainment, and, even when we do hang out, we usually just watch movies in silence or do our own things.”

“I agree with [First].” Gowon nodded, her voice hoarse from the coughing fit she just escaped. “She has a point. I mean, you guys remember what he was like first year…nothing like he is now, y’know?”

“But it was mean to do that,” Chaewon argued, crossing her arms. “You can’t just say stuff like that. You need to apologize, [First].”

“I’ll apologize when I feel like I need to. For now,” you paused, taking a final bite of your sandwich. “I am not going to talk to him about it.”

“[First], don’t be an asshole,” Sungchan replied.

“Oh, I’m the asshole? Shall I recount when he left me in the dust last year? Or when he forgot my birthday and skipped out on my birthday dinner, which both of his parents attended, because he was going to Incheon with Na Jaemin and Lee Jeno? Or when he blew me off every single time I tried to keep our friendship going?” you scoffed, turning towards him. Gowon, who’d been the first person to befriend you after you lost Donghyuck, kept quiet, but she placed a hand on your shoulder in support. “I don’t owe him anything for being a dick, and then deciding he wants to date me. It’s a miracle I even keep him around.”

Chaewon frowned, laying off, but Sungchan didn’t seem to like your answer. Instead, he picked up his tray, pushed himself off the ground, and began a tantrum-ish march to the school building. Nobody tried to stop him.

“I didn’t know,” Chaewon muttered, twiddling her thumbs. “Sorry.”

“No harm, no foul,” you hummed, packing up your lunch box. “Sungchan’ll get over himself.”

-

Once again, rain poured outside, trapping you and your classmates in your classroom while everyone waited for the principal to announce it was safe to leave. For the most part, it was quiet, with mostly everybody parked at their desk and studying or napping. You were watching some random Japanese drama from 2008, laying your head on a quasi-pillow (your bunched-up sweater) that rested on your desk.

Everyone was tired. Of course they were, as it was a Thursday, and nobody wanted to be at school past 4 pm on a Thursday.

The sound of the classroom door being thrown open seemed to grab everyone's attention. You glanced up, cringing when you saw who was invading your peaceful, little classroom. They instantly caused everyone (who was awake, that is) to start whispering back and forth as if the visitors were the president and his men.

You were lamenting the fact that the boy who sat in front of you wasn't at school today.

Donghyuck pulled the chair in front of you closer to your desk, taking a seat so that he’d be facing you rather than the chalkboard. You didn’t move, trying to focus on the subtitles of your new show. But, it seemed he wasn’t very deterred by your current activity, as he easily plucked your earbud from your ear.

Sighing, you paused your show, pushing yourself up from the uncomfortable position. Your back creaked as you did, causing a few sharp pains to travel up your spine.

“Did you need to bring your entire posse with you? you mumbled suppressing a yawn. He shrugged, leaning his elbow on your desk and putting his head in his hands.

“My birthday’s tomorrow,” he said, glancing down at your little setup before looking back up at you. “I’m having a party tonight, though. I’d like for you to come.”

Last year, you missed his birthday party, simply dropping off a gift with his mother before it began. You remember looking out your window, staring at the lights protruding from his house at the end of the street, the kids in the front yard, and the cars parked down the street. The neighborhood you lived in was a nice one—your house was one your mom inherited, which was the only reason you lived somewhere that nice—so houses were spread out to the point where he could get away with a party.

Plus, neither his mom nor his dad seemed to care what was happening. After you dropped the gift off, you watched them drive off together, and they didn’t seem to return until the next Sunday.

You remember thinking how much you would hate to go to a party like that.

“I’m not really into stuff like that,” you replied. “I’ll drop off your gift again and say hi, or something, but I’d rather not go to a party.”

“What if I said you could lock yourself in my room and hang out there the entire time?”

You scrunched your nose up, thinking about what your mom would do if she saw the party happening again while you lazed around in your bedroom. “No studying, no partying, just useless,” she’d tell you, pinching your cheek. “At least do something.”

“I guess,” you mumbled, looking around to see everybody staring at you. In the doorway stood Huang Renjun and Zhong Chenle, both watching you converse a little too intently.

At your response, a warm smile blossomed on Donghyuck’s face. “Great. See you tonight.”

He pushed himself up from the chair, leaving it where it was rather than tucking it in. He shoved his hands into his pockets, pushing past Renjun and Chenle, who stayed and stared at you for a second more. Chenle said something, but you couldn’t hear what it was; after that, he walked off, Renjun following.

You laid your head back down, putting your earbud back in your ear, but you didn’t go to play your drama. Instead, you sat there, staring at the rain pour, slamming into the window faster than you’d ever seen it go.

You hoped he’d leave you alone after this. Getting over the loss of the person you spent nearly your whole childhood with would be difficult, but you’d muscle through it—you always did.

-

Chaewon and Gowon sat on your couch, watching you fail at wrapping the gift you’d prepared for Donghyuck. They were dressed casually for the event so that you didn’t feel out of place as you walked in and beelined for the upstairs.

“So, you’re…regifting him something?”

“Yeah,” you mumbled, ripping tape out of the dispenser. “It’s a little keychain he got me two years ago, along with a ring I put on a chain. He likes necklaces…I think. It’ll be a good way to say, ‘let’s not see each other for a while,’ you know?”

You ignored the tugging at your heart and the way your throat seemed to close at the thought, focusing on how best to wrap the small box in a way that didn’t look ugly. Because of your intense focus, you were lost on the way Chaewon and Gowon looked at each other as if they somehow picked up on the way you were feeling.

“You’re sure there’s no way you could be in love with him too, right?” Chaewon suddenly asked, causing you to perk up. You furrowed your brows at that, your heart lurching in your chest at the question. It made you nervous.

“What? No.” You shook your head, placing a final piece of tape on the gift. You held it up and examined the poor wrapping job you did, frowning at it. For a temporary-last gift, it sucked. “Not a chance.”

“Should we go then? It’s 8, we’re already an hour late.”

“Yeah,” you nodded, standing up with the box. “Now or never, I guess. Have you heard from Sungchan?”

“He’s probably there already. Heard he’s friends with Zhong Chenle and never told us,” Gowon said. You looked at her, eyes widened.

“Really? I wasn’t expecting that.”

“Yeah, well, now’s the time for learning, I guess,” she said. The three of you approached the door, slipping on shoes and putting on jackets. The moment you opened the door, you were hit with a blast of wet, hot air.

“I hate summer,” you mumbled, stepping outside. Your friends followed, and, together, you made the small trek to Donghyuck’s house. It was surrounded by cars and kids, and the sound of loud music accompanied by bright lighting filled the air. You were glad you didn’t live in a packed area, because, if you did, you were sure this would’ve gone a lot worse.

You pushed past all the already-drunk people outside, grabbing onto Chaewon’s hand for support. “This doesn’t look like a gift-giving party,” you whispered, to which Chaewon rolled her eyes, squeezing your hand.

“And you’re close to him, so you’re expected to get a gift.”

Gowon opened the door and, instantly, you were hit with the scent of alcohol and sweat, which wasn’t pleasant at all. Donghyuck’s house, having been renovated when you were kids, was the perfect location for a party like this one, with people roaming about and searching for something to do. The music drowned out anything you could hear, so you hoped Gowon would follow as you moved ahead, slipping past several people you knew (and, many people you didn’t).

The stairwell wasn’t far from the door, and you made it easily. Jaemin and Mark were lingering near it, seemingly making sure nobody tried to sneak up there and potentially steal something. You nodded your head at Jaemin the moment you made eye contact, but he didn’t step out of the way.

“I can take the gift,” he half-yelled, holding his hand out. Despite the volume of his voice, you could barely hear him and were a bit confused when he took the box out of your hands. You leaned closer to hear him, but you halfway wished you hadn’t. “Only you’re allowed up.”

You lurched back, looking at Chaewon and Gowon, who both nodded at you reassuringly. Chaewon released your hand, giving you a small smile before linking arms with Gowon. You sighed, running up the stairs as fast as you could. As promised, it was much quieter upstairs—as quiet as it could be given the surroundings—and much emptier. The upstairs looked just as you remembered it looking, with the only difference being a couple of newer pictures placed along the walls.

This felt like your childhood. A bit of nostalgia squeezed your heart as you walked down the hall, staring at pictures of the Lee family that you knew so well. Donghyuck’s parents were beautiful—unsurprising given how beautiful their son was—and that was made known by their wedding pictures, which sat framed at the edge of the hall.

You approached them, examining the bundles of photos they had put up. You remembered the several times you, as a small kid, told Donghyuck’s mother how you wanted to look just like her when she got married, with her gorgeous white gown and veil.

How ironic.

You turned the corner, approaching the final door in that section of the corridor. It was closed, and a small “do not enter!” sign was plastered on it. You blatantly ignored the directions, turning the knob and pushing inside.

His room looked different from the last time you were here.

It was darker, more mature, with more posters and less empty wall space. It looked like the teenage boy's room you’d see on a TV show, especially with the fancy computer and three monitors he had sitting on the desk. You shut the door behind you—it was kind of shocking how his room blocked out all the sound from downstairs—looking around at all he had up.

On his dresser were a few framed pictures, all of which were pictures of you two. The first one was one when you were little, two kids smiling on a playground with no worries in the world, dressed in matching sun and moon outfits. Then, there was a picture of you two at a class performance you had to do in second grade, dressed in tacky outfits that your parents had made together.

The third was a picture of you two in middle school, dressed in your uniforms roaming Lotte World, eating ice cream and laughing at whatever joke was shared between you two. You look back on that day fondly, remembering how much fun you’d had. That was where Donghyuck had gotten the keychain you were gifting back to him.

The final picture was one from your first year of high school. This one was much more robotic than the rest, both of you smiling for the picture and not just to smile. You stood far apart from each other, holding onto your school bags and looking mildly uncomfortable. Your hair was messy from a long day, and there were prevalent bags under Donghyuck’s eyes.

He looked unhappy, in a way. So did you.

Sighing, you approached his bed, taking a seat on the floor and leaning your back against it. You slid your phone from your jacket pocket, scrolling through various notifications you had. Most were from Chaewon, who was using her phone to have her and Gowon communicate with you.

“On an adventure to find a bathroom and lock ourselves insides,” read the first one, along with a couple of random emojis she tacked on.

“Sungchan is all up close and personal with some of Donghyuck’s posse. Who’d have thought they were friends when he’s such a loser lol.”

And, finally, a “Hiding in a non-crowded corner!! Only one bathroom was open, but we will survive by people watching!!”

You typed back a swift response, confirming you were in Donghyuck’s bedroom and feeling quite tired. If you had to guess, this night would end without you seeing Donghyuck at all, and you’d fall asleep on his bedroom floor, only to be woken up by Gowon and Chaewon, who’d snuck upstairs after everyone passed out drunk.

“Gowon here, and I think Donghyuck opened your gift. He doesn’t look pleased, I think. Storming towards the stairs. Fighting!”

Okay, so maybe you spoke too soon. You looked towards the door, wondering what he would have to say to you about it; maybe he’d reject it, giving it back to you and telling you to fuck off, or maybe he’d be reasonable about it, let you talk through things.

Considering the way the door opened, you assumed it to be the former.

Donghyuck practically slammed the door shut behind him, holding up the small white box that you’d put the ring-necklace and keychain in. He stared at you for a second, and you stared back, waiting for him to say something.

“What is this?”

You shrugged, looking at the box. “The sun keychain you got me a few years ago and—”

“The ring you liked to wear all the time in middle school. Yes, I know, I’m aware, but that’s not what I meant.”

You knew what he meant, but you didn’t want to. “Okay, then what did you mean?”

He narrowed his eyes, dropping to the floor in front of you. He stared at you, trying to gauge what exactly you were trying to accomplish by acting clueless. “Why are you giving it back?”

“Because I feel like we need to separate for a bit longer. Like, actually separate this time. Not the not-see-each-other-for-three-weeks routine anymore. A few months without being sun and moon, and just being two different people.”

He put the box down, crossing his legs. Donghyuck didn’t say anything, assuming the same hurt face he had when you told him he didn’t love you. “This is exactly why I never wanted to tell you,” he finally said, letting his head drop to the floor. “One chance your perfect bubble is disrupted and you’ll freak out and shut down.”

Your mouth dropped open, and you were a bit shocked at his response. You had nothing to say, nothing to defend yourself with other than the pitiful look you gave.

“But I’m going to say no to that, [First]. You can’t run every single time something doesn’t go your way. So we either figure this out right here and now, or I don’t think we’ll make it much farther as friends.”

You didn’t want to lose your friendship with him. He was the closest thing to you, the closest person to your secrets, the closest person to your happiness. You were okay with a break for a few months, maybe more, but you did not want to unfriend him for forever.

The way your heart hurt, the way your head spun, the way you found it hard to look him in the eyes and say “but we need this” was taking a toll on you. And, as you went through the motions, a little voice in your head began to say “Maybe you are in love with him, just a little bit. Maybe you have been for a while.”

“I’m sorry for ghosting you last year,” he continued, taking a deep, shaky breath. “I didn’t consider how you would feel and put myself first. I ejected you from a big change in my life, and I just assumed you’d be there to come back to after it was all said and done. You didn’t deserve it.”

You bit your lip in an attempt to keep your emotions squared off and invisible. Even hearing the apology made you want to fall apart, after waiting so long to hear anything of the sort. You remembered how lost you felt without him around, how hurt you felt when you sent text after text and yielded no response.

“Okay, I forgive you.”

It was short, but it got the point across without you bursting into tears at Lee Donghyuck actually apologizing to you. He took another deep breath, closing his hands into a fist.

“One more time, then. [First], I am in love with you.”

You sharply inhaled, looking down at the floor. “Okay. I could be, too. Maybe a little bit.”

It went silent between you, and you refused to look up from the ground. Gently, you reached out and began tracing little drawings on the floor, ones that you visualized in your mind. Saturn, the moon, the stars, the sun, you and Donghyuck, in constant orbit with each other, up in a boundless space you would never reach.

Suddenly, he got onto his knees, causing you to look up. Faster than you would’ve imagined, he shuffled over to you, encasing your face with his hands and pulling you into a soft yet heavy kiss. It left you stunned, but you didn’t seem to mind it that much.

Like the sun, Donghtuck was warm, from the way his hands managed to warm up your already burning cheeks or the way he practically emulated heat, as you felt from the close contact. He tasted like sour lemonade, perfect for a hot, summer day that had you trapped outside for the majority of the day. In a way, he was summer, carefree and bright, ready to ditch all responsibility and run off into the sunset.

When he pulled away from you, he seemed a bit embarrassed, sitting back on his feet and looking off to the side. “Sorry,” he mumbled, clearing his throat. “I didn’t ask if I could do that. Sorry.”

“I…didn’t mind too much,” you responded, looking down at the floor for the white box that held the keychain and the ring necklace. You opened it, picking up the chain and sliding the ring off it. You grabbed his hand, hoping it would at least fit on his pinky (which it did, thankfully). “Happy birthday.”

He looked down, a small scoff escaping his lips. “What, are you proposing? It hasn’t even been a minute, I mean, are you that obsessed with me?”

“Oh, yeah, For sure.” You rolled your eyes, dropping his hand so you could leave a small punch on his shoulder. “Let’s date, Lee Donghyuck.”

He repeated your idea with a high-pitched, mocking voice, and you could tell he was incredibly embarrassed. It made you giggle, and flick his forehead, to which he lurched back and gave you an incredulous look.

“Get over yourself.”

“If I do, will you take the keychain back?”

“Oh, shut up, loser.”

thank you for reading!

girlie got her heart broke bad 😭 we all need a dude like keeho, dudes an mvp

.·´`·.·• heartbreak girl | ml

summary | during your first couple years of high school, mark was your closest friend; then, during your junior year, you began to distance yourself from one another after you got a boyfriend. two years later, your friendship rekindles, and mark finds himself feeling the same way he felt for you before. but, when you plan to meet up during the summer after your first year of university, disaster strikes, and mark is forced to keep his love for you bottled up once more.

genre | university!mark lee x fem! reader, unrequited love, angst & like angsty fluff, all of 7dream grew up in canada

warnings | bad boyfriends :(, self doubt, also alcohol

wc | 5.5k

a/n: mark “no game” lee was literally BUILT for this song…this is one of my favs from middle school and mark is one of my favs from middle school so it’s fitting they’re paired together <3 hope you enjoy! p.s. minhee is a random guy i made up and not the guy from cravity

ft. p1h's keeho, jeon somi, itzy's ryujin

WHEN MARK WAS 16, he was truly, madly, deeply in love with you.

It was a problem that he hated, one that he knew he wouldn’t be able to figure out. And, trust him, he knew there were only two solutions to the problem: tell you or drive a stake in the exact middle of your relationship. Neither of them were options he liked, so he just dealt with the aching in his heart, the pain caused by how much he wanted to love you openly, and stayed a normal, average friend.

He didn’t think you’d be the one to drive the stake, but at least you had done him a favor. Originally, even after you’d started dating Minhee, he had no plans of unfriending you.

Mark hated to say it, but not having you around was a blessing in disguise for him. There was no more cringing at love songs, no more lying awake at night in case you’d text him, no more feeling insecure every time you talked to anyone who wasn’t him. He surrounded himself with his other friends, with Renjun and Donghyuck, and moved on—it was blissful.

There was no stress. No heartache. Just happiness.

Maybe Mark should’ve remembered that when you texted him seven months ago, saying that you felt like your friendship with him ended too unexpectedly.

How could he have predicted this, though? For god’s sake, when he received that text, you two hadn’t talked in nearly three years. He was in university now, moved on from past grievances and outdated feelings, and, when you had sent that text, he hadn’t felt anywhere near how he used to. Hell, he viewed it as his first time rekindling with an old friend, something his mom did with high school friends all the time.

Maybe he was stupid for thinking it was okay. Maybe he was an idiot. Maybe the real issue was that he let his emotions fester for two years, ignoring them until he didn’t need to see you every single day of his life. Maybe he should’ve faced this before you weren’t in a three-year-long relationship and he had no choice but to keep things to himself, lest he wants to make you feel bad or become a homewrecker.

Now, Mark was back at step one—awake in the early hours of the morning, waiting for a possible nightmare text, or any text, from you. It was grating, and he wasn’t sure why he was going through this for the second time. You were across the country from him; while you were in Quebec, he was in Vancouver, and more likely to text you once you’d woken up for the day at this point.

This was awful. He didn’t know why he was doing this. He wanted nothing more than to be peacefully asleep, to wake up refreshed for his morning class without a care in the world. Instead, he revolved around you, waiting for the day he might just have the chance to do what he should’ve done before.

-

Something you liked to do with Mark was what you called quasi-café dates (how much did you want him dead?), where you and he sat in your respective cafés across the country from each other, talking to each other on the phone. According to your claims, you brought a little tripod to hold your phone up, so he could see you better.

He’d never tell you that, after you said that, you went out and bought the same thing. Besides, you seemed to believe him when he said he just stacked up a bunch of his useless textbooks.

When you first started doing these café dates, you’d offhandedly mentioned that Minhee said no every time you asked, each time with a different excuse than before. “He’s got classes when I don’t, and every time I’m here he’s stuck in a lecture,” you claimed, and Mark could see straight through the smile you kept on your face. “It’s okay, though. Everything is going very well between us—we call every morning and night, and we send each other letters. It’s nice.”

It seemed as though every time Minhee did something wrong, there was something good to make up for it—Mark hated that. Mark hated him, for no good reason at all, and couldn’t stand seeing you lament over his absence every time you talked to him.

Nevertheless, he would treasure these café dates with you for as long as he could.

“So, how’s the music going?” you asked, stirring a cube of sugar into your tea. The sound of the spoon hitting the sides of the cup overtook whatever you were saying, and Mark cursed the phone microphone for focusing on the wrong noise. “I mean, you were helping Chenle with something, right? A school thing.”

“Oh, yeah, yeah.” Mark nodded, scratching the back of his neck. “Um, it’s an end-of-the-year thing, so he’s turned it in. We are just waiting for the grade.”

“I hope it goes well,” you offered, taking a sip of the tea. “Speaking of the end of the year, are you heading back to Ontario for the summer? I’d love to have tea with you, like, in person—it’d be nicer than this.”

Mark’s heart went up to his throat, and a wave of giddiness poured over his body. He could’ve died, right then and there; it was so painfully platonic, and, yet, he was so painfully entranced.

“Yeah, I’ll—I’ll be back. Uh, yeah, we can have tea, so long as you’re not too busy with Minhee,” he smiled, mentally cursing himself for phrasing it like that. Sure, he was still a little hurt by you leaving him in the dust all those years ago, but he hadn’t meant to say it so passive-aggressively.

You, on the other hand, weren’t too phased by his hostility.

“Oh, speaking of him!” a smile bloomed on your face, and Mark’s heart beat once more. “I told him that I was staying in Quebec, so I’m gonna surprise him. I don’t know if you’re friends with him, or know anybody who is, so don’t tell anyone I’m coming home. ‘Kay?”

Mark was almost flattered that you thought he was friends with Minhee. When you first started dating him, Minhee hated his guts. To Minhee, Mark assumed, he was the enemy—the boy who’d occupied your attention up until the moment he asked you out.

Minhee had never told Mark to stay away or to back off, rather he was sly in the way he dragged you away from him. So, Mark told all his friends about it, and they began to hate Minhee too. If any of them knew anything about him, Mark would be shocked.

“Yeah, no problem. Secret’s safe with me.”

“Anyway, do you remember that coffeehouse we always went to in our freshman year? We should go back there, for old times’ sake…”

You kept talking, kept going on and on about all the good times you had oh-so-long ago, but Mark couldn’t bring himself to listen. He just focused on your face, made up of pixels and dim light, separated from him by a screen, and wondered why he was so stupid.

“So, how is your relationship with Minhee? I’m was never really around for it.”

You and Minhee were approaching three years, you said. You wonder how you got so lucky with him; he can be a bit fickle sometimes, but he never hurt you in a way he couldn’t make it up. He apologized when he was in the wrong, he memorized your restaurant orders, he got you whatever gift reminded him of you, he’s basically your other half. You think you’re gonna marry him, one day, leaving Mark behind to writhe over what he might’ve lost over his stupid fear of losing you completely (you didn’t say the second part aloud, but it was implied).

“I’m glad. It’s not common to find the one in high school. Good for you, [First].”

He could attest to that, through and through.

-

“Dude,” Renjun said, swiping the White Claw from Mark’s hand with ease. Drunkenly, Mark reached out for it, but Jeno—who’d appeared out of nowhere—slapped his hand away and put a glass of water in front of him. “You’re going to give yourself alcohol poisoning. Lay off.”

Chenle let out a shriek as Jaemin picked him up, bringing him over to the lit-up pool and dropping him in. Jeno slid into the chair across from Mark at the previously unoccupied table, crossing his arms over his chest. Renjun pulled up another chair, joining Jeno in giving Mark disapproving stares.

“When did Jaemin and Chenle get so close?” Mark slurred, pointing at the two. In his drunken stupor, Mark imagined Jaemin and Chenle as you and him, even if you were just friends, having a good time together with Minhee nowhere in sight.

The thought made Mark’s head hurt.

“They started gaming together a lot over the past year, but that doesn’t matter,” Jeno replied, pushing the glass of water closer to him. “What’s up with you right now, man? You’re so…off.”

“I started talking with [First] again.”

“Seriously?” Renjun asked, seeming a bit appalled. After all they’d been through, all the healing they had to force upon Mark in the early stages of their friendship, it was hard to imagine him ever going back to you. Plus, he’d seemed fully, irrevocably over it by the time he graduated. Yet, here he was, back at square one, in a worse place than before. “Isn’t…you know what, never mind. Why?”

“What do you mean by ‘why?’”

“He means you were happier without her around,” Jeno commented, nodding with satisfaction as Mark took a huge swig of the water. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, [First] really is a sweetheart, but she shredded you to pieces. You were like, I don’t know, like an unpeeled, rotten banana by the time your friendship was over.”

“I couldn’t just ignore her. She reached out, and, well, I thought it—I thought it would be okay.” Mark was getting choked up,  something he’d never do sober, but both of them were well acquainted with the sad, drunken version of him (which was just normal Mark with a hint of uncontrollable crying). “I thought I was over it. She was across the country. How was I supposed to know she was just as terrible over the phone?”

“It’s not too late to start ignoring her,” Renjun suggested, raising his brows. “You’re busy with us this summer. Blow her off until she stops asking because she’s too busy planning her wedding with Minhee. It’s as good as over for the second time. Huh?”

“Can’t.”

Mark let his head drop onto the table with a thud, unable to get rid of the headache Chenle’s screech had given him. He was getting tired.

“Why not?”

“We’re getting coffee in two days. She gets back tonight and gives Minhee a big surprise tomorrow.”

“Cancel on her, then?” Jeno said as if it was that easy.

“No. I’ll go and then stop talking to her. Yeah. That’s simple enough.”

Renjun said something else, but he was getting hard to hear. Mark would just go to sleep, wake up with a bad hangover and the urge to throw up all over Chenle’s house. He’d go through the motions, feel like somebody was stabbing his heart with a burning sword, and then stay up all night until he physically couldn’t keep himself awake.

It was easy. It was routine. He could do it well.

So, he’d be dead to the world right now.

-

Mark wanted to throw his phone against the wall. It jerked him awake with a start, the sound of an obnoxious, default ringtone ringing throughout the room. Jeno, from across the room, let out an angry groan, throwing a pillow perfectly in Mark’s direction.

It was easy enough to shut it off, but it wasn’t easy enough to push himself off the floor. The moment he got to his feet, a wave of pain assaulted his head, nearly knocking him back over. He needed to find Advil, or any hangover medicine Chenle’s parents have—they told him they bought some, in case things got too wild in their words, but he couldn’t remember where they said it was.

Jeno was sprawled out along the couch, and Jaemin had been lying on the floor next to Mark and the fireplace. Chenle and Jisung were asleep on the table, cuddling into each other like a couple (if Mark wasn’t dying, he’d snap a picture). Renjun and Haechan were likely upstairs in the guest rooms they were offered the night before and were not going to make an appearance until someone came to them.

Mark stumbled into the kitchen, wincing at how much brighter it was in there. Chenle lived in one of those stereotypical rich kid houses, so there were windows everywhere. No matter where he looked, Mark was met with morning sunlight.

Looking at the oven clock, Mark groaned when he realized it was noon. It wasn’t morning sunlight, it was the blazing, unbearable, summer afternoon sun. Then, Mark realized it was noon.

He ripped his phone from his pocket, squinting as he tried to make out his notifications. Most of them were from university friends or various apps, Twitter and Instagram, but there were a special few from you—three, two-hour-old texts and a missed call from three minutes ago.

“Wish me luck!!” the first one read, along with a few random emojis you were accustomed to sending.

“Ahh, I’m so nervous. Are you not awake yet?”

Mark was amused by how correctly you texted him. He’d never get used to the capitalization and proper punctuation.

“Oh, I forgot you and your friends were having your reunion, lol. I bet it was fun!! Drink lots of water today, and I’ll call later!!”

Mark assumed that the missed call was intended to be you explaining how things were going, but he was too busy trying to wake up to answer. Without thinking, he hurried to press the call button, putting the phone up to his ear giddily. His hangover turned into nervousness, and then a bit of fear.

One ring. Two rings. You probably weren’t going to pick up, Mark reasoned. Three rings and Mark decided he’d probably missed his chance. Four rings. He’d let it run, just in case you were far away from your phone—

“Hello?”

That was not your voice. It was an unfamiliar man’s voice, certainly not Minhee’s. There was shouting in the background, from more voices Mark didn’t recognize.

“Hello? Who is this?”

“Oh, this is Keeho. You’re Mark Lee, right?” the man on the other side of the phone asked. “Well, duh, that was a stupid question. How are you?”

“Um, I’m fine. Is there a reason [First] didn’t pick up?”

“Oh, yeah, haha. Well,” Keeho started, but he was cut off by more yelling. “I’ll be right out! Mark finally called, all right? The store can wait!”

“Is everything okay?”

“No, everything’s terrible. [First] isn’t dead, so don’t shit yourself, but, uh…how do I say this?”

Mark stayed quiet, waiting anxiously for Keeho to continue talking. He went silent for a moment as if he was contemplating how to break whatever news he needed to.

“Well, I guess I’ll simply come out with it. Minhee was cheating on her,” Keeho said, and Mark could’ve punched himself over the hope that began pooling in his stomach. How much of an asshole was he, to be happy she’d been cheated on? “She’s, uh, pretty inconsolable, so your coffee date is canceled. But, if you want to come by and join the damage control team, that’d be helpful.”

“You’re kidding.”

“Nope. Are you coming by? I can explain it then.”

“I can come over, just give me a minute. Is she just at her parents’ house?”

“She’s staying with me, so I’ll just text the address. We’ll be back from the store in about, hm, an hour, so don’t come any earlier.”

Keeho didn’t wait to hang up, and the effects of Mark’s hangover were almost completely gone in a second. He was practically tripping over himself to get his shit together, picking up random items he’d sprawled around the house.

“Where the hell are you headed?” Jeno asked groggily, barely gaining Mark’s attention from the question.

“Minhee cheated,” Mark replied, zipping up his backpack and looking at his phone. Sure enough, he’d been sent an address, one that was about thirty minutes away.

“Wait,” Jeno said, pushing himself up from the couch. His walking was unsteady, no doubt the effects of last night, but he didn’t cease. “You realize you’re signing yourself off right now? If you go, Mark, there’s no coming back.”

“Then, consider me signed,” Mark replied, slinging the backpack over his shoulder and walking towards the entryway. Jeno followed, forcing Mark to give him a better answer than that. “I’ll finally be able to do what I should’ve done three years ago, and the first step towards that is helping her get over him. Okay? I need to do this.”

Jeno bit his lip, leaning against the wall. Mark looked back at him one last time, unconsciously seeking out some sort of validation (or lack thereof) from his friend. Jeno stared back, and an uncomfortable silence fell between the two, signaling all Mark needed to know about this.

“You’re on your own,” Jeno said, putting his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants. “If this goes spiraling, we won’t spend every second of the day picking up the pieces again, Mark.”

“I know,” he responded, and, with that, he was out the door, car keys in hand and a passive ache in his heart.

-

Keeho was a good-looking guy. His eyes lit up when he saw Mark carrying a tray of coffee, simple iced Americanos that he scraped up from a nearby coffee shop, along with a fruit pastry they’d been selling. “You’re a lifesaver,” Keeho praised, instantly moving to help take everything inside. His apartment was eerily silent, with two girls sitting on the couch, one fast asleep and the other scrolling on her phone.

“She fell asleep from, well, crying too hard,” Keeho explained, kicking the door shut behind him with the flat of his foot. “Seriously, she’s never cried that hard, like, ever. I was beginning to think she didn’t have tear ducts.”

“Dude, be nice,” one of the girls said, the one Mark could recognize—Jeon Somi, one of your club friends from high school.

“I am being nice. We’re cousins. I could be a lot meaner. Coffee?”

Somi pushed herself off the couch, and Mark felt a hefty weight fall off his shoulders. Keeho was your cousin, nobody that could potentially ruin his plans of confess-and-get-rejected-without-guilt. It was especially comforting that, should Mark play his cards right, Keeho would become an ally to his cause.

“So, uh, what happened?”

“Oh, right. So, I’m sure she told you about her surprise,” Keeho hummed, taking a sip of the coffee. “Well, we drive up, and she tells us to stay outside just in case things go ‘poorly.’ I mean, she practically predicted it, but that’s beside the point. We’re waiting for her to send a text, about twenty minutes pass, and she’s calmly walking back out.”

“Like, calmly,” Somi emphasized, taking one of the coffees for herself as well. Mark was glad he decided to get four instead of three; he had the perfect amount for everyone. “So, she gets in the passenger seat, and we all kinda sat there and didn’t say anything.”

“And then,” Keeho continued, taking the rest of the coffees from the drink tray so he could throw it away. “She says, like, super nonchalantly, ‘He’s been cheating on me the whole time.’ Obviously we were shocked because Minhee was goddamn possessive, really terribly, yet he’s cheating? So we asked her to elaborate, and she just kind of shrugged.

“By this point, you could tell she was near tears, but she kept talking like things were completely normal. Then, she said, ‘The reason the long distance was going so smoothly was because he was hooking up with girls on the side.’ She goes on to explain that he tried to say it wasn’t his fault, that the girl had drugged him, but the girl got super pissed and told her everything, beginning to end, and then she just left. Now we’re here.”

Mark was a bit appalled. Cheating was the worst possible outcome, and Mark wanted to say he expected it, but Keeho was right when he said Minhee was possessive. How could he end up cheating when he hated any man, including innocent Mark, getting anywhere near you? It seemed unbelievable.

“We’re taking shifts now and hoping recovery doesn’t take the whole summer. This was a big breakup, though, so we aren’t hopeful. But, earlier, [First] was babbling on and on about how Minhee’d known her longer than any of her friends and how he made her drop all of her other longtime friends, but you’re here now, so maybe things will speed up,” Somi said. “You can take the next shift, yeah? And Keeho and I will keep searching for the strawberry shortcake ice cream she loves so dearly.”

“I don’t mind, but, uh, your friend on the couch…”

“She won’t care. Ryujin probably won’t wake up until we’re back, anyway.” Keeho waved off Mark’s worries with ease, nodding his head towards a hallway next to the kitchen. “She’s in there. There’s a couch, and we have tissues stocked up in the bathroom. Our first goal is to get her to stop crying every second of the day, so focus on that accordingly. We’ll be out. I have your number from [First]’s phone; I’ll text when we are headed back.”

“Sounds good.” Mark nodded, turning his attention towards a door that was slightly cracked. If he had to guess, that was your door, and you were in there, red-faced and fast asleep, wishing for someone to put you out of your misery. Mark had been there.

He peeked through the crack in the door, flinching as the front door opened and slammed closed. You laid unmoving on your side, facing the wall opposite the door, breathing soundly. Mark took that as a sign that he could comfortably walk inside, unafraid of you blowing up at him in your sorry state. The TV was on, with some random variety show playing quietly, deliberately put on to be background noise.

Mark rounded the bed quietly, finally coming face to face with you. You looked peaceful, with no nightmares or unhappiness plaguing whatever dreams you were having. Your face was, indeed, red, and there was still evidence of tears lingering on your cheeks, mostly in the form of poorly removed mascara. Not able to imagine that being comfortable, Mark approached the bathroom, which was attached to the bedroom with a small doorway.

He was sure you had to have some sort of makeup remover in there, especially if this was your temporary home for the summer. Sure enough, there was a container of makeup wipes on the counter, and Mark vaguely remembered Chenle going on a rant about how makeup wipes were awful for your skin. Nevertheless, he picked it up, opening the bag without making any noise as best he could.

“How many do you usually need?” he whispered to himself, deciding two was the magic number. He crept back out into the room, making barely any noise as he crouched down next to you. And, as gently as he could, Mark began scrubbing the makeup off your face, wiping at the apples of your cheeks and barely brushing against your eyelids.

He felt at peace. Even when you were sad, distraught, and angry, Mark felt as though you were the most gorgeous person he had ever seen; from your hair to even your hands, there was nothing about you that wasn’t beautiful. You were, quite possibly, the most precious person in his life, even if you weren’t more than good friends.

With one slightly-too-firm swipe, your eyes shot open, and you seemed a bit delirious. Mark smiled at you, retracting his hand and placing it on his knee. “Good morning,” he whispered, watching as you became reacquainted with your surroundings. True to Keeho’s word, you instantly began to tear up, which made Mark panic a bit.

“No, don’t cry,” he whispered, frowning. “Do you need anything? Water?”

You shook your head, pushing yourself up from your laying-down position. Mark sat on the edge of the bed next to you, waiting for you to say something—anything—with any indication of what he should do next. “I feel bad,” you sniffled, wiping away the tears falling down your face. “We were supposed to get coffee and be happy, but now you’re here watching me fall apart over wasting three years of my life.”

“No, it wasn’t wasted.” Mark shook his head, grabbing your hands and holding them tightly. “You loved him, [First], and I’m sure he loved you too. While it was happening, it was good, and then he messed up. He’s the one who wasted three years, not you. Never you.”

While it hurt to admit, Mark knew how madly in love with Minhee you were. He couldn’t imagine how you felt, believing that all those years spent loving him were a waste, because, when his friends were helping him get over you, they always assured him that loving somebody was never useless.

“How, though? I could’ve been meeting new people and loving them as much as I loved him,” you argued. “I let him tell me who to talk to and who not to talk to, I let him drag me away from my friends, from you, with the full belief that I would be with him forever. Look where that got me, Mark. Walking in on him and the girl he told me I didn’t have to worry about.”

“But look where I am right now?” he responded, squeezing your hands. You looked at him with those big, tear-filled eyes, and Mark found it difficult to ignore the pain he was feeling in his heart. He hated seeing you so sad. “I’m in front of you, even after he told you to stay away. And I’m sure if you reach out to anyone else, try to recreate any relationship he stole from you, they’ll gladly reciprocate. This is not the end of the world, so don’t let yourself feel that way.”

You stared at him, hiccuping every few seconds. Tears flowed down your face like crystal rivers, dripping onto the blankets every couple of seconds. Then, finally, you spoke. “Are you sure?”

“Of course I am. You are more than him.”

-

Mark was beginning to believe Jeno was right.

Maybe he was impatient, maybe he didn’t understand the gravity of the situation, of your relationship with Minhee, but things were going nowhere. Every little thing that reminded you of him sent you into a spiral, and, while you barely cried anymore, you still sulked and shut yourself off. It was excruciating.

Slowly, Mark was realizing it wasn’t easy to help someone get over a breakup when you were in love with them. In fact, it made things unbearably difficult, to the point where he was beginning to dread it. What once was hope became pure pain, and what once was determination became despair.

He didn’t understand why you couldn’t see what was right in front of you, why you couldn’t see him right in front of you. He was tempted to explode, to ask you if Minhee would’ve done the same for you as he was doing. Why wouldn’t you look at him the way he wanted you to? Why can’t you see how he feels?

Mark was going insane, and he didn’t know how to deal with it.

Now, he was on his way to have coffee with you, as you’d insisted. You constantly talked about how guilty you felt for blowing him off, no matter how much he said he didn’t mind and that he understood why you had. Two weeks later, you’d decided that today was the day you finally had a real-life, in-person coffee date.

Somehow, though, Keeho had managed to stop him beforehand.

“I just wanted to talk to you,” Keeho said, motioning for Mark to step into the alleyway next to the café. He assumed Keeho had dropped you off and discreetly waited for him to arrive with the intent of speaking to him as he was now. “About [First].”

“What about her?” Mark responded although he knew what Keeho was going to say. He leaned against the wall of the café, glancing down at the ground before looking back up at Mark.

“You’re in love with her, aren’t you.”

Mark kept quiet, waiting for Keeho to continue.

“Look, man, you don’t have to keep doing this,” he continued, chewing on the inside of his cheek. “I’m sure this is as awful for you as it is for Somi, Ryujin, and I, if not worse. She…she won’t be ready for another relationship for a while, and, as much as you’re nice, I don’t want you to be her boyfriend because she trauma-bonded with you. That’s about as good as a rebound.”

Mark contemplated Keeho’s words, halfway shocked that he wasn’t hurt by the sentiment. He just felt numb.

“I’m not planning on dating her,” Mark finally said. “Not until I know she’s forgotten him, at the very least. I’m not an idiot, and I know my worth. I’m only doing this to help her, okay? I don’t intend on trapping her in a relationship because she’s hurt and clinging onto any semblance of comfort.”

Keeho nodded, letting out a small sigh. “Then I’d rather you distance yourself for a bit. You can hang out with her and stuff, but I ask that you remove yourself from the breakup-damage-control team promptly.”

Mark knew that Keeho probably wasn’t explaining the entire story and that this meant you were probably on your way to using him as a rebound. But, for some reason, he, once again, didn’t care. Even if he was still in love with you, even if he would do anything to call himself yours, he understood how things would end up if he wasn’t careful.

“No, I get it. I’ll just let her know that my friends want to see me around more often and that I think she’s doing better,” Mark nodded, ignoring the slight discomfort he was feeling. “Thanks for talking to me. I appreciate it.”

“No problem,” Keeho said, pushing off against the wall. “If it’s any consolation, I think you’re a good match for her. Better than Minhee, at least.”

“Yeah, thanks, man. I’ll see you later.”

“See you.”

Both Mark and Keeho emerged from the alleyway, walking away from each other without saying another word. Mark didn’t know how he felt, and he didn’t think he ever would. Would he be able to wait? Would he move on? He didn’t know.

You were sitting directly across from the doors, two coffee cups on the table, with one filled to the brim and one half empty. You perked up at the sound of the door opening, a wide smile blooming on your face when you saw him. It made his throat close up and his heart tighten, and Mark was sure he could wait for you for however long he needed to. However long it took for you to forget Minhee. However long it took for you to realize he was right there all along.

“Hi!” you chirped, pushing the cup of coffee closer to the edge of the table as Mark slid into the booth. “How are you?”

For now, he would play friend and pretend like he never felt any differently. Pretend he didn’t want to love you openly, unapologetically, in front of everyone who would tolerate it.

“I’m good, how are you?”

Mark would wait however long you needed to get over your heartbreak and be with him.

thank you for reading!