Instead Of You [party Twenty-eight] || L.mh

instead of you [party twenty-eight] || l.mh

pairing: [best friend’s brother] lee minho x college!reader ft. han jisung

summary: you didn’t expect to spend your summer pretending to be your best friend’s girlfriend- then again, you didn’t expect to fall for your best friend’s brother, either. 

warnings: swearing, mentions of sex (mdni)

word count: 3.6k

a/n: revamped my tom holland series from my main blog ( @wazzupmrstark ) to try and motivate myself to finish it!!

series masterlist | early access to the next chapter on ko-fi

Jisung was waiting on the bed when you made it back to your room. He raised his eyebrows expectantly when you came into view.

“So where were you?” he asked. 

All you’d responded to his text with was be right there, not giving him an answer of any sort. You had tried to buy yourself time to come up with an excuse for why you weren’t in the room yourself, but that had evidently backfired on you since you still had nothing. You’d tied your wet hair back in the hopes of making it look less obvious that you had just taken a shower since you were still wearing your dirty clothes, but that was honestly the least of your worries

“I was with Minho,” you answered, figuring a half-truth was better than a full lie.

“Doing what?” 

“He felt bad for me, I guess. Didn’t want me to be alone so he invited me to hang out.”

Jisung seemed to buy it, but he still looked confused. “You know you didn’t have to say yes, right?”

You rolled your eyes at him. “I know. I said yes because I wanted to. Your brothers can be fun to be around.”

 “I guess,” he murmured.

“Not as fun as you, don’t worry,” you reassured him. 

“I wasn’t worried!”

“Sure you weren’t.”

He brushes you off by shaking his head in denial before changing the subject. “Anyway, did you guys eat? Are you hungry?”

“I could eat.”

“I think there’s a place down the street that’s still open where we could go grab some soup, if you’re feeling up for it.”

“Sure, but didn’t you already eat with Felix?”

“Yeah, I was just gonna tag along so you could have some company.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“It’s not like I’ve got anything better to do.”

The streets were unsurprisingly empty. It was strange to see the wide sidewalks devoid of all of the foot traffic you had grown accustomed to in big cities like this. The restaurant Jisung had mentioned was a little hole-in-the-wall noodle shop squished in between department stores. A flickering neon sign hanging in the window above the door was the only indication that it was still open and you still hesitated before pushing open the door, just in case it was actually closed and they had forgotten to turn off the sign. 

It was about as busy as you’d expected. There were couples and groups of friends scattered throughout the room, all grabbing a quick bite to eat at the only place whose kitchen was still open at the late hour. 

Everyone else was dressed to go out and you were still wearing your stupid Han Family Vacation t-shirt. Jisung had put on a hoodie over his so at least you weren’t matching. 

He helped you order from the English menu and then picked a booth for you both in the back of the restaurant. 

“Thanks for this,” you sighed, holding up the receipt and gesturing to the place.

“Least I could do after ditching you.”

“You didn’t ditch me, Ji. I had to practically beg you to go to that thing with Felix.”

“Yeah, yeah whatever.”

“You’re so stubborn!” you scoffed, rolling your eyes. 

“Why do you think we’re best friends?”

“Because you didn’t know anybody when you started school and I was the first sorry sucker that you stumbled across.”

It was his turn to roll his eyes. “Shut up.”

You tried to kick him underneath the table but he saw it coming and moved his leg before your foot could make contact. 

“Nice try.”

A server delivered your soup shortly after the kicking incident and dropped off a plate of dumplings as well. You almost told them you didn’t order them, but Jisung simply thanked them and slid the plate over to his side of the table.

“I thought you already ate,” you mumbled in confusion.

“I did but that was hours ago,” he responded defensively. “And I know you hate eating alone.”

You smiled gratefully and leaned down to slurp up some of the broth from your miso soup. It burned your tongue a little, but you still managed to swallow it. Soup was best piping hot anyway- unless of course, it’s a fruit bisque or gazpacho, but that’s a different story. 

When soup is hot, you can feel it warming you from the inside out. That’s why everyone eats it when it’s cold outside or when they’re sick with chills. At least, that’s what your mother always told you to get you to eat soup. 

The miso soup wasn’t your mother’s chicken noodle that was actually from a can, but it still comforted you the same. Your cramps had already subsided from the medicine you took… and from the orgasm Minho had given you, but food also soothed the ache. 

“Want a dumpling?” Jisung offered, holding one of the wontons out to you with his chopsticks. 

You opened your mouth as an answer and he fed it to you, nearly dropping it into your soup in the process. 

“Pretty good, right?” he asked. 

“Very good,” you agreed. 

Once you were both done you cleared your bowls and set them in the bin by the door, thanking the cashier again before letting yourselves out. You were in no rush to get back to the hotel, but you did have to get up early the next day to get everything on the itinerary done before your flight in the evening. 

You took another shower when you made it back to your room, saving yourself the trouble of lying to Jisung again. You needed to get the fried food smell out of your hair anyway. 

You crawled into bed after trading the shower with Jisung, willing yourself to fall asleep before he was done so that you wouldn’t have to lie awake next to him feeling guilty like you had the night prior. 

It must have worked because the next time you opened your eyes it was light outside. It was your alarm, not the sunlight, that had woken you up though. You rolled over with a groan to shut it off, noticing you had a couple of texts from Minho. Jisung was waking up next to you so you ignored them, turning your phone face down on the bedside table just in case he looked over. 

“Ready for another day of family fun?” he groaned. 

“Always.”

You got ready together and packed the rest of your things in your suitcase. Since you were only in Beijing for a couple of days, you hadn’t really made the effort to unpack. Everything was easily stuffed back into your luggage in a matter of minutes. You helped Jisung with his while he brushed his teeth. He had always been slow to get ready. 

Despite your best friend’s speed or lack thereof, you and Jisung were the first ones down in the lobby. The rest of his family members trickled in slowly. First Felix, then Minho, and finally his parents. 

You checked your bags with a luggage storage facility a block or so from the hotel so that you could walk around the city without worrying about it. The service was actually quite cheap and came with an option to insure your items just in case anything were to happen to them. You didn’t have anything valuable in your belongings aside from your laptop, but even that wasn’t anything crazy expensive. You couldn’t say the same of the rest of the Hans. Minho’s backpack alone was some fancy brand you didn’t recognize. Dom paid the extra fee for the insurance and herded everyone outside so that you could make it to the Forbidden City before scrambling to the airport. 

- 

You’d think with how much traveling you’d been doing in the past month that you’d be used to the chaos of airport security and customs but somehow you were still caught off guard by the TSA agents randomly selecting you to be searched. 

“Fucking again?” you muttered to yourself as they pulled you aside.

“You’re just lucky, babe,” Jisung said sweetly with a pat on your back.

This time, he waited for you while the rest of the Hans went ahead to the gate. It didn’t take as long since you were the only one from the group that was selected. 

“They’re about to start boarding, c’mon,” he ushered you through the terminal as soon as you were released, leading you by the hand as you weaved through the crowds. The whole ordeal gave you a strange sense of deja vu. 

His parents were waiting by the front desk at the gate. They explained that Felix and Minho had already boarded and that you and Jisung should go ahead and board too while they sorted something out. 

“Do you think everything’s okay?” you asked as you scanned your boarding pass. 

“I’m sure it’s fine,” he assured you, not sounding entirely confident in the matter. 

“I can take the middle seat this time,” you offered, shimmying through the aisle so that you could walk and talk to Jisung at the same time. 

“Are you sure? It’s a long flight.”

“I’m sure,” you insisted. “You’ve sat in the middle like every time so far.”

“That’s because I want you to be comfortable.”

“That’s very chivalrous of you.”

“I know, I’m a great boyfriend.”

You rolled your eyes and let Jisung squeeze by to settle into the window seat before sliding in next to him. You made eye contact with Minho as you hovered in the aisle. He was a handful of rows back with Felix and some stranger. He raised two fingers to his eyebrow in a cocky little salute, making you roll your eyes yet again. 

Minho’s pick for the family trip was Bali, Indonesia. Unfortunately, there was no direct flight to Bali from Beijing which meant that you’d have to make two connections before finally touching down on the island. 

Jisung told you that he picked it because he was a sucker for nostalgia. Apparently, the three of them had visited together a few years ago during one of the tour legs for his backup dancing and had the best time. He had loved it so much that he’d wanted to go back ever since and bring their parents but was so busy that he never had the chance until now. 

The seat next to you stayed empty until the very last minute, giving you the false hope that you’d score extra space. It was eventually filled by a girl who looked to be about your age, who greeted you and Jisung politely before sticking her AirPods in her ears and ignoring you entirely.

You could tell that your best friend was into her as soon as he laid eyes on her. She was exactly his type- thick, tall, and she wasn’t giving him an ounce of attention. She checked all of his boxes.

“Keep it in your pants,” you muttered, unsure of whether she could hear you and/or speak English. You didn’t care either way.

“I wasn’t going to do anything,” he shot back defensively. 

“Yeah, well your eyes are about to pop out of your head. Dial it back.”

“Shhh!”

“Oh sorry, am I embarrassing you?”

“Yes, kind of.”

“Sucks.”

“You’re the worst wing-woman ever.”

You nudged him subtly with your shoulder. “I’m not a wing-woman, I’m your girlfriend.”

“I know, I know.”

“Then fucking act like it!”

“Yes, dear,” he sighed and laced his fingers with yours. 

You leaned over to whisper in his ear. “Maybe she could be our third.”

His eyes widened. “Really?” 

“No!”

In all honesty, you wouldn’t mind having a threesome with a stranger, especially if they were as pretty as the woman next to you. It wouldn’t be your first time. But you could never cross that line with your best friend, especially now that you were involved with Minho.

You felt a little guilty for cockblocking him since you were getting laid, by his brother of all people, but there was just no feasible way to make it happen for him. 

“Even if you did have enough game to pull her, there’s no way you’d be able to get away with a quickie in between flights.”

You kept glancing at the girl next to you out of fear that she was listening in and totally creeped out and horrified by your conversation about her, but she still had her earbuds in and appeared to have dozed off. 

“You don’t know what I’m capable of!”

“Yes, I do! I’ve spent too many nights in your living room being forced to hear what you’re capable of.”

Jisung scoffed at you. “Perv.”

“What part of ‘forced to hear’ didn’t click?” 

He glared but didn’t respond. Your whispering was beginning to get heated so you mutually decided to stop talking for the time being so that no one would be able to overhear you. Instead, you just traded increasingly absurd looks until you both got bored. 

Jisung was the first to fall asleep, slumping against the wall of the plane in a position that couldn’t be comfortable. He’d forgotten to close the shade of the window so you leaned over and closed it for him so that the setting sun wouldn’t wake him up. 

You were about to join him, leaning over to rest your head against his shoulder when your phone buzzed in your back pocket. You weren’t used to receiving notifications on a plane, but the airline you were flying had in-flight service. You had to shift awkwardly in order to reach your pocket and not wake either of the people beside you up. 

The message made you want to scoff aloud. 

M: is ji asleep?? come to the back ;)

You sat up straight and craned your neck to try and catch Minho’s eye, but his head was down, probably buried in his phone. 

Y: what? no.

M: why not

Y: just because he’s asleep doesn’t mean i can come see you for no reason that’d be weird

M: are you just saying that because you’re afraid he’ll wake up?

Y: well yeah kind of

M: he won’t

Y: you don’t know that

M: c’mon, i’ll make it worth your time

Y: can’t you just tell me what this is about

M: but that ruins the surprise :(

Y: what surprise could you possibly have 30,000 feet in the air

Y: and don’t say your dick

M: …

Y: you’re so fucking annoying

M: all i’m saying is i haven’t joined the mile high club yet

Y: this is a commercial flight with your entire family. we’re not fucking on this plane.

M: worth a shot

Y: you’re insufferable

M: you love it

You sighed and put your phone face down in your lap, taking a quick glance to your left to see if Jisung was still asleep. He was still slumped against the wall with his eyes shut, seemingly dead to the world. You tried to do the same but it was hard from the middle seat. You were paranoid that if you were to doze off you’d accidentally lean over onto the stranger next to you. You’d seen enough rom-coms to know how awkward that would be.

You settled on scrolling through the in-flight movies on the little screen attached to the seat in front of you. You’d have to buy a pair of earbuds to watch anything, but you figured it would be worth it if it meant you wouldn’t be bored out of your mind for the next three hours. 

There was a mix of Chinese and international films but everything was dubbed in Chinese either way and only a select few offered English subtitles. You picked one that you’d seen a little bit of press for back home and bought the earbuds from a flight attendant when they came around with the snacks. 

-

It was late when your first flight landed and everyone was feeling worn out from all the tourism and traveling but you still had two more flights to catch before you’d finally be in Bali. The layover in the Hong Kong airport was two hours and you spent it trying to sleep whilst curled up next to Jisung in one of the stiff leathery chairs in front of the gate. Your exhaustion allowed you to fade in and out of consciousness fairly easily, but you were having trouble staying asleep. Each time you’d drift off you would suddenly jolt awake in a panic, thinking you were late for something. 

Every time it happened, Jisung would assure you that he’d wake you up when it was time to board the plane, that you could rest, that they wouldn’t leave without you. Eventually, you gave up on the idea of getting any sleep altogether and resolved to just stay awake until you were on the next flight. 

“I know this is the part of the trip where everyone’s getting tired,” Dom had said when you were walking from one side of the Hong Kong airport to the other, “but that’s why we saved the more relaxing destinations for the latter end- so we can all get some rest.”

His words did little to comfort you considering most of your energy was being spent keeping up with all the lies you were telling everyone but you smiled and nodded with the rest of the group anyway, trying to play along as always. 

The second flight was about the same length as the first and this time you got the window seat. Jisung sat in the middle with Felix on his right and Minho and their parents filled up the row behind you. 

“You should sleep,” Jisung suggested, brushing your hair out of your eyes. 

“I’ve been trying to,” you grumbled back, unable to soften the tone of your voice. 

You felt bad for snapping at him. He didn’t deserve that. Not after everything else you were doing behind his back. 

“Sorry,” you mumbled in apology. 

“It’s okay. I know you’re tired,” he assured you, making you feel even guiltier. “Do you want me to rub your head?”

You could only shake your head in response, not trusting yourself to speak. You suddenly felt the overwhelming urge to cry and turned your head towards the wall as your eyes welled up with tears. You didn’t even try to stop it, knowing it would be even more obvious if you did. You knew you wouldn’t be able to hide it from Jisung either, even if he couldn’t see your face. He knew you too well, knew your body language. But he didn’t ask about it, likely not wanting to alert Felix, who was oblivious, that anything was wrong. 

Thankfully, the crying exhausted you even more and you were able to fall asleep, only to be woken up again when the flight landed at the second layover stop.

It was a shame that you wouldn’t be able to properly visit Malaysia but at least their airport was pretty nice. It had been several hours since you’d last eaten so Nikki ordered a bunch of food for everyone to share from the only kiosk that was open in the middle of the night. You shared a thing of white rice with Jisung but you didn’t have much of an appetite to try anything else which was a bummer since you didn’t know when you’d have another chance to.  

The third and final flight was a few hours later. By then, you’d had a little food and sleep so you weren’t feeling as dramatically miserable as before but the numb feeling of guilt still lingered in your stomach. You assumed that wouldn’t change- not until you came clean to Jisung about… everything. And you couldn’t see yourself doing that any time in the foreseeable future because you were a pussy. 

You’d rather end this fling with Minho now and take it to your grave than lose your friendship with Jisung. Was sleeping with someone twice considered a fling? Regardless, you had to end it before you got too attached. You weren’t sure what it was for Minho, but until he said otherwise you would stay under the impression that it was just sex. Again, it didn’t really matter what it was. You just had to put an end to it. You weren’t sure why you thought you could finally give into the sexual tension just because Minho found out you weren’t actually dating his brother but it didn’t matter now. It was too late and you were already suffering the consequences of your actions. 

You’d given Jisung the window seat again which left you sandwiched in between him and Minho this time around, and being so close to him was making it difficult not to think about the intimate moments you’d shared with him. Your arms were just barely brushing against the armrest and yet that was the only part of your body that you could feel. He was just so warm that your attention was drawn to wherever your bodies connected- be it your arms, your lips, your thighs… but you couldn’t think about that now. Not when you were trying to cut yourself off from him in order to save your friendship. You wouldn’t have sex with Minho again. You couldn’t.

You were shaken from your thoughts by Minho nudging your shoulder. You gave him a questioning look, wondering what he would have to say to you with your best friend sleeping right there. He leaned over to whisper in your ear, smirking as he did. 

“Wanna have sex?”

lmk what you think i always appreciate feedback!

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Chapter 12: The Mess We Made

PAIRING: Lee Know! X fem!reader

GENRE(S): college au, smut, angst

WARNINGS: Mentions of violence and abuse, depression, self harm, eating disorders etc.. mentions of blood, swearing, smoking, smut [ dirty talk, oral; giving and receiving, choking, spanking, praising, degradation, pet names, sometimes Minho is a dick :)

SUMMARY: “Do you remember what you told me the first time we met?”  

“What?”

“You said; Always leave people a little better than you found them” he looked at the floor with a small smile for a few seconds and then his eyes found mine. “You really annoyed me when we first met. I envied your optimism and excitement for life. But each time I saw you, I felt a certain thrill. You made me angry, you made me laugh., you made me feel everything. Something about you made me feel a little more alive each time. I know I fucked up and I know I’m an asshole but I’m also brutally in love with you.”    

Keep reading

ੈ✩‧₊˚ jeonglixverse’s fic recs

here are some of my favourite fics i’ve read ! all fics listed below are all straykids :D

anything that contains smut will be highlighted in red! and all fics posted are a mix of fem!reader or gn!reader ˗ˏˋ post will be constantly updated !! ˎˊ˗

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Phases Masterlist

3/3 Main Completed, ?/? Minor Completed

LMH, HJS

Masterlist

Story Synopsis: Whoever said patience is a virtue have never met Jisung and Minho.

warnings: smut, explicit sexual content, poly!minsung x fem!reader, lots of kissing and groping lol, more specific warnings in individual chapters

Main:

Preview

Phase One: Emotion Sickness

Phase Two: Wildfire

Phase Three: When He Sees Me

Minor:

Phase Four: The Bigger Bed

Drabbles: one, two

-

Series tag list: @bookwyrm28 @ladylexis @blankdyean @sujurunaway @mal-lunar-28 @pussy-drunk @bangchxnnie @lyramundana @bumblebee-zone @bloopreads @propertyoftoru @ana-stasssiaaa @iheartjozzy @kurxxmi @i-dont-know-me-either @alice630 @jellylver @luvminmin @abcdefgiwsmcty @felixbrownies143 @sevngmin148 @myprwttyhan @ener-energy @3rachasninja @jisuperboard @got-it-from-my-daddy @prncsscrybby @sunnysorasworld @httpfairy @marked-unknown @renovachrono @slid3er @chanlovesme @whosanaanyway @adorepjw @peterparkoure @starquokka @daddysspecialdollyworld @drikenz @skyvastbunny @faerie-bees @ionlyeverwantedtobeyourequal @jamlessstars @angeldhd (also included those who reblogged with interest!)

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In my dreams

Seungmin x reader. (fake) enemies to lovers. my interpretation of in my dreams by tearliner, love X stereo.

Seungmin has never liked you. You never understood why, but you were slowly coming to terms with it. However, you gradually come to learn that there is more to his feelings than what meets the eye.

skz song series

cw: reader has anxiety and deals with lots of self-doubt and insecurities.

a.n: the end of our skz song series!! and a pretty personal final fic, this one is based on my own experience with anxiety, so it might differ for everyone :) thank you for reading as always <3

You watch, a soft smile on your face as two little girls play with one another in the playground. It reminds you of simpler times, when you could just walk up to another human and become friends with them instantly.

But reality is much more challenging, especially for someone like you, constantly plagued by their anxious thoughts.

Anxiety didn't tiptoe into your life, one drop at a time so you'd get accustomed to its overwhelming presence. Instead, you woke up one day and it barged into you, through cracks and dents you didn't even know existed in your being, and then it made itself a permanent home within the confines of your heart.

You never truly learned how to live with this parasite feeding off your soul, draining you completely until you became a mere shell of who you once were. You never fully adjusted to the invisible hands choking you from within, to the voice nagging you in the back of your mind, telling you that something horrible was bound to happen.

Because nothing ever went wrong, day after day, nothing bad happened. And yet, the feeling of dread persisted and lingered until you started to believe that the problem was you.

And once you opened the door to self-doubt, you could never fully close it again.

You're too overwhelmed, too nervous, too much of everything bad. Your conversations are scrutinized, down to every syllable you uttered, to the way you smiled and how you laughed. The interactions might differ but the regret that haunts you after is the same.

So, you diluted your being, in an effort to be more acceptable, easier in the lives of the people around you. You believed that if you pleased everyone you ever encoutered then at the end you must satisfy yourself too.

You sigh softly, drumming your fingers along your knee. You’re starting a new year in college tomorrow. Your first one wasn't exceptional by any means. Aileen, the girl who sat beside you from time to time was nice, and you grabbed coffee sometimes as you prepared for your exams together. But she had other friends, ones she's much closer to, ones she invited to her birthday party, ones who she didn't simply fill her free time with.

You shake your head, putting a stop to the thoughts in your head before they get too much once again, pushing you over an edge you don't want to be in right now. 

You'll try harder this year. You'll be okay, for once.

≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋

Your professor Lee is scribbling something on the large whiteboard, as he waits for the class to fill up. Someone sits next to you, and the smell of their cologne wafts to your nose- hints of vanilla and wood seemingly calming down your nerves. You quickly take a glance at them, to find a guy with long brown hair and freckles dusting his cheeks. He's taking out his notepad from his bag, and you smile at the chick keychain he has on it. He catches you looking and you quickly avert your gaze, heat creeping up your cheeks. 

"Hi, I'm Felix," he greets enthusiastically, and you turn your head slowly to be met with his wide grin. It softens his features, making his eyes turn into moon crescents. You envy his ability to smile without overthinking how he looks. 

"Yn," you introduce back, and he nods, the grin still etched on his face. "You were in my Economics class last year, no?" he asks and you tilt your head to the side, as you mull over his question.

"I was but I don't remember seeing you," you admit sheepishly and he waves a hand in the air, not bothered the least by your words. 

"It's okay, I just remembered your presentation on Inflation. I finally understood why we can't just print more money," he admits with a chuckle, and you giggle against your will. 

"I don't blame you, it sounds like an easy solution," you agree, and his eyes widen. 

"Right! when I tell my friends they just stare at me in disappointment."

You laugh at his adorable pout, an unfamiliar warmth stirring within your chest. He's nice. 

"I'm glad I helped you then, I was so nervous presenting it," you clear your throat as he smiles impressively at you. "Really? I couldn’t tell at all." 

Mr. Lee calls for your attention and you both turn your heads back to the board. You couldn’t really focus, Felix’s words echoing in your head like a broken mantra- he couldn’t tell you were nervous. A sudden relief dawns on you at the possibility that, maybe, not everyone is aware of the neverending storm raging within you, threatening to drown you at any giving moment.

≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋

"Movie night at my dorm?" Felix proposes as he packs up his bag, your two hours long class finally done.

"Will Seungmin be there?" you ask, a slight edge to your voice and Felix pauses, shaking his head at you.

"Yn, you're overreacting. I promise he doesn't hate you."

"Have you ever seen him smiling at me?" you ask, arching your eyebrow expectantly at him. He stays silent and you wiggle your finger in the air. "Exactly! Please tell me he won't be there."

"About that... He's helping me bake the cookies," Felix smiles sheepishly and you groan, falling dramatically on your seat.

"I’m not coming."

"But the cookies," Felix pouts, and the promise of the chewy baked goods is so enticing it makes you second-guess your decision.

"The cookies...," you whine, and Felix giggles grabbing your hand to pull you up.

"I’ll see you at 5?"

"Yes," you concede, a small smile on your lips. You wait until Felix bids you goodbye for it to finally slip from your face.

Seungmin has never liked you, from the moment Felix introduced you to him. You still remember it clear as day, the way his eyes slightly widened when they fell on you, before narrowing down. How he didn't utter a single word when Felix left you both alone to get your drinks. Your panic grew as an uncomfortable silence reigned on the both of you, and you racked your brain for something to say to cut through that eerie quiet.  

"Seungmin, right?" you asked, a bit too cheerfully, and you winced inwardly at your tone. He didn't reply, only humming back. It was so faint you wouldn't have caught it had you not been staring at him intently.

"What's your major?" Your voice cracked.

"Computer science." He replied curtly, and you waited patiently, expecting him to return the question. He didn't. And you shifted awkwardly from one foot to another. Maybe he just didn't do well with strangers. Maybe he wasn't a chatty person, to complement Felix's extroverted nature.

But you were wrong. You watched in complete astonishment as he teased Felix relentlessly, a wide smile on his face. It made his eyes soften, a newfound fondness itching itself on his expressions. He laughed and he joked and you felt yourself shrink more and more, this way he wouldn't notice you anymore, wouldn't glare at you as if you did something horribly wrong to him.

Felix tried to include you as best as he could in their conversation, but you tuned it out. It was hard to focus on their talk when there was a tumultuous one ongoing in your mind. Seungmin's behavior just further cemented every horrible idea you held about yourself. There is something wrong about you, and he can see it. You may have fooled Felix but you didn't fool Seungmin. If you were him you wouldn't talk to you either.

Every encounter with Seungmin since then left you feeling fifteen years old again, in a classroom full of unkind eyes zeroed on you. You tried to talk about his interests, to string along a normal conversation, one that would reassure that your first encounter was a wrongful impression.

But he did not like talking to you, only offering short replies in response. It’s as if his tongue was tied in your response, and in return it only magnified the knot in your stomach. You went through every conversation with him a million times in your head, trying to pinpoint what exactly went wrong. What warranted him to be so silent in your presence, and yours only, as if you weren’t worthy of a simple conversation. And the answer always tied back to you.

So, you’ve been avoiding him like the plague for the past month, sparing him the chore that is existing near you. It was particularly hard since Felix was his best friend and roommate, and surprisingly he actually enjoyed spending time with you. Still, you couldn’t help but think that it was only a matter of time before Felix started to hate you too.  

≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋

"You're moving too much," Seungmin chastises and you freeze in your place at his words. You are sitting on the couch of Felix’s dorm later on that day, a horror movie playing in the small TV before you. Felix decided to lay on the floor, buried in a pool of yellow blankets, and a long pillow that weirdly had the picture of one of their friends printed on it. "It's my safety net," he explained and you didn't question him any further.

For some reason, Seungmin decided to sit next to you, instead of the opposing couch. Granted, he can see the TV more clearly from here, still this is the first time he willingly went somewhere near you, let alone talked to you.

You decide to ignore him, too focused on predicting the next jump scare, your feet tapping the floor furiously. But still, it happens so abruptly, eliciting a startled gasp from you, anf you clutch the edge of the couch even tighter.  

"Close your eyes," Seungmin speaks suddenly and you raise an eyebrow at him, confused. 

"There is a jump scare coming soon," he clears his throat, "just... close your eyes if you don't want to see it." 

You comply without much thought and soon enough, you can hear a shrill scream coming from the screen. He was right. 

"It passed," he says softly, and you tentatively open your eyes once again. There is a foreign expression on Seungmin's face, one you haven't seen before, but it passes as quickly as it came, like a dream slipping between your fingers as soon as you wake up. 

"How did you know?" you ask, hugging your knees tightly to your chest. 

"I already watched this movie."

"Really? Why are you watching it again?"

"Because. I had nothing better to do," he says, almost defensively, his hand now covering his mouth as if he had to physically stop the words from spilling out. 

You don't reply, turning back to look at the screen. Seungmin doesn't tell you when a jump scare is coming next, he simply taps your arm, and you close your eyes on cue. 

His hand brushing against your bare skin feels weird, not uncomfortable by any means, but it still is a foreign sensation. You didn't know he had such soft hands, and you always imagined them to be cold. But they are warm, and you wonder what other things about Seungmin you've been wrong about.

≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋

"I'm so tired," Felix groans, laying his head on your shoulder and you giggle, patting his head in mock sympathy. It's been three months since the start of your year, which means that the assignments are starting to pile up on you all.

"Me too," you sigh, and Seungmin stays silent next to you. Felix dragged you both to this coffeeshop, a little outing to recharge his spirit, as he texted you. You're slowly getting used to Seungmin's brooding presence. He talks to you a little more, even cracking a few jokes here and there. But you’re still wary of him. You keep your guard up just in case he forcefully brings a mirror to your face once again, reminding you of everything you despise about yourself.

"I'll go order, it's my treat. Pick a place for us?" Felix says and you nod, walking ahead of Seungmin towards a table near the back.

You sit down first, and Seungmin follows second, sitting right across from you. You quickly bring out your phone, scrolling mindlessly through the apps to distract yourself from the man in front of you.

"You have a presentation tomorrow, right?" Seungmin speaks up, startling you, and you slowly put your phone down.

"Yes, how did you know?"

"Felix told me that it makes up 25% of your grade. Are you nervous?"

"A little," you admit, even though ‘a little’ didn't even begin to cover it.

"Don't be. You'll do well," he says, a hint of a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. You almost feel as if you've imagined it before it dissipates.

"Thank you," you nod, as Felix brings the tray down your table.

"Is this for me?" you ask tentatively, pointing to the strawberry milkshake, a sore thumb sticking out between the iced americano, and the hazelnut Frappuccino, Seungmin’s and Felix’s respective go to orders.

"They got the order wrong. I got you an iced matcha," Felix pouts, double checking his receipt.

"It's okay," you smile slightly. There was nothing you despised more than having to change up your order.

"You don't want to drink this," Seungmin says, staring at you expectantly and you wave your hand in the air dismissively. "I don't mind."

Seungmin stands up, grabbing the drink from your hand before taking the receipt from the table. He goes to the counter and you watch in astonishment as he comes back, a green drink in hand this time.

"Here," he hands you your cup, before grabbing his own and sipping from it. Your drink is cold, but the warm tingles spreading through your being at his sweet gesture outweigh any other feeling.

≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋

Talking in front of 267 people never gets easier.

You memorized your presentation; you rehearsed it so much you could probably recite it with your eyes closed. Yet, the nerves still found a way to weave themselves inside you. Your hands were shaking, so much you couldn't even stare at the notes you prepared. Your palms were sweaty, blood rushing rapidly to your ears, tuning out your voice as you spoke.

You can’t even recall what you said exactly, it’s as if your body had a mind of its own, your mouth moving itself without you commanding it. You aren’t sure how it was, but someone smiled at you reassuringly from the first row, and the professor clapped, so you assume you did okay.

The class finally ends, your nerves slowly dissipating and leaving in their trail an excruciating exhaustion. You rub your eyes tiredly, as you slowly walk out of the door, before stopping in your tracks when you notice Seungmin leaning against the wall, hands buried in his varsity jacket.

His eyes are closed, a pair of earphones dangling across his chest. But then, as if he feels you looking at him, he opens his eyes, locking his gaze on you. You stay put in your place as he walks to you, his bag loosely hanging from his shoulder. He hooks his thumb underneath the strap, keeping it in place

"How was it?" he questions, and it takes you a few seconds to register what he was asking about. Your presentation. Was he waiting for you?

"I think I did well?" you reply, but it comes out more of a question to which he giggles softly.

"Are you asking me?" he teases and you roll your eyes playfully. "I did well," you repeat and he smiles, nodding a bit. "I’m sure you did. Here." He opens his bag, taking out your favorite chocolate bar from it- it had bits of caramelized pistachio and almonds in it. Seungmin doesn’t like it, he prefers plain milk chocolate, as Felix told you one day.

"Eat this, I ended up buying two by mistake, I still have an extra one at the dorm." You grab it from his hands, and he quickly leaves before you could properly thank him.

≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋

You always dread the days you'd wake up with a heavy weight crushing your chest.

You try to distract yourself, try to focus in class and take notes. You try to laugh at Felix's jokes and savor the brownies he just brought you. But you can't. It feels as if you're a cup filled to the brim, each passing second bringing you closer to when that fateful drop would finally make you overflow. And you could do nothing but watch yourself unravel.

Seungmin's eyes never leave you, and it only makes your anxiety spike. It feels as if he's peering inside your soul, witnessing how a cord ties itself around your throat, making it impossible for you to breathe. You can't speak anymore, every word you say threatening to make tears spill out of your eyes. You aren't sure you can make them stop if they ever start falling.

Nothing happened, nothing's happening, you try to remind yourself. But you are scratching your hand incessantly, and you feel an overwhelming need to flee. To run away, somewhere where only you would witness the display of your broken soul. So you sputter a meek excuse, and then you stand up and head to your dorm.

It's raining outside, and you don't have an umbrella. But you are grateful for it, since the rain mingles with your salty tears, shielding them from the curious eyes of the people passing by. You need to get home, you need to hide somewhere and you need to remember how to breathe-

"Yn," a hand grabs your forearm and you startle, instinctively taking two hurried steps back. It's Seungmin. He removed his blue hoodie and he's now placing it over both of your heads.

"What are you doing? You'll get sick," he sounds mad, and you can't take his disappointed tone anymore.

"I'm having a bad day and I don't need you to make it worse," you say, startling yourself with the raw emotion in your voice.

He physically recoils from your words, his arms faltering as he gazes at you, a wounded look in his eyes. "I make your days worse?" he asks quietly and his voice sounds so small, you can't help the regret that courses through you.

"Come on, Seungmin," you chuckle warily, "don't you hate me?"

"No?"

"Hate is a strong word, okay. You dislike me."

"I don't. Why would you think that?"

"Because you never wanted to talk to me, from the moment we met. And it wouldn't matter if you were this way with everyone, but it's only me. And you make me feel so small each time I'm around you," you ramble angrily, as Seungmin's eyes widen with each passing second.

"Yn, yn, I don't- I didn't know you felt this way, but I don't hate you. I truly don't, I promise you," he's panicking, voice growing higher with each word, and you feel a sudden embarrassment flood your being for lashing out at him.

You don't know what to say and he sighs, looking up at the cloudy sky before meeting your eyes once again.

"This is embarrassing, God, um..." he places his hoodie on top of your head before running a hand through his face. "I don't talk to you because you make me nervous." 

"I do?"

"Yes. A lot," he chuckles, a pink hue tinting his cheeks. "I just... I find you very interesting, and funny, and I like watching you, not in a creepy way, my God what am I saying," he whines, hiding his face in his hands and you can't help the giggle that escapes your mouth.

"Don't laugh," he pouts and you nod, willing the smile to disappear from your face. 

"I like watching you exist. Just laugh and smile and talk. You look very pretty doing it. I just don't know how to deal with it. That's on me."

This time the smile is effectively gone from your face. The weight of his confession distracting you from the turmoil of emotions that swirled within you.

"I'm sorry, for making you feel that way. I never meant to. For what it's worth, you make me feel like a small kid again, as if I'm having a crush for the first time." 

A fresh wave of tears brims in your waterline, and Seungmin's eyes soften at the sight.

"Please don't cry," he says, gently wiping the rain droplets from your cheeks. "I don't hate you, I think I like you too much and that's the problem." 

I'm sorry I misjudged you, until you wiped my tears off away

"Okay," you say quietly, your mind not yet registering what he said, too busy focusing on his hands on your face. You can't believe you've ever felt invisible because of Seungmin, when he's looking at you like you're the most precious being in the world. 

"You had a bad day?" he asks, his knuckles brushing against your cheek tenderly, and you nod, silently. 

"Would you like a hug?" he asks, and you nod again. A hug sounded nice. 

He steps forward, wrapping his arms around you. His t-shirt is cold, clinging to his now wet skin. But a surprising warmth emanates from his chest, shielding you from the pouring rain- it travels from his body to yours, as if it's a familiar path, one it underwent a million times before. His hand finds your back, and he pats it gently, following a soothing rythme, one you try to sync your breathing to. "You did well," he whispers, "you always do well," and his words feel like a patch of shade on a scorching day.

You exhale softly, tightening your arms around his waist. You think you can stay here, for a while. You could rest in Seungmin, now and tomorrow, and maybe for the following months. If he still likes you this much. 

Bonus 

"I'm ready," Seungmin says, his soft hair tickling your bare skin. He's laying on top of your stomach, black tie undone, a piece of crumpled paper in his hands. You can tell he's nervous, with the way he looks up at the ceiling, avoiding your gaze. You lean down, pressing a sweet kiss to the top of his head. He closes his eyes, his hold on the yellowed paper slightly faltering.

"I'm all ears," you whisper, and he smiles softly at you, before looking at his written vows- the ones you decided to read to each other after your wedding ceremony, just the two of you, in your personal bubble. It feels much more intimate this way, they are words meant for you only to hear, after all.

"My love," he starts, and he can already feel the tears welling up in his eyes. He blinks repeatedly, in a desperate attempt to keep them at bay. "If I'm reading this it means I finally married you, which is probably the best thing I've ever done in my life." You giggle and he can't help but smile at the sound of your laugh.

"I am writing these vows one year into our relationship, I haven't proposed yet, but I just know you're the one I want to marry. And I suppose I don't want to forget everything I want to say to you, when that day comes." His words make your breath hitch in your throat as realization dawns on you- he wrote this three years ago, and he kept it safe, till this day.

"I still remember when I saw you for the first time. I couldn't talk because you looked so pretty, and you were smiling at Felix and I felt an overwhelming need to be the one you were smiling at. I think you cast a spell on me because I couldn't even ask you about your major back, I couldn't believe how awestruck I was. But you already know this, don't you?" He looks up at you, pressing a quick kiss to your stomach and you smile widely. You still remember when Seungmin recounted the first time you met, from his perspective. Rosy cheeks and fumbling words as he explained how much he felt for you in that instant, and how little he could express it.

"But there are still things I haven't told you," he clears his throat. "Like how Felix told me what horror movie he was planning to watch with you, and I looked it up the night before, to memorize all the jump scares just in case you were afraid. And you were, and I'm glad I did. I don't even like horror movies, but it was worth watching it three times in a row, just for you."

"Also, how I had to run out of my class to yours, so I'd catch you after the end of your presentation. I bought that chocolate only for you. I kept a stack of fifteen bars hidden in my desk, just in case you were feeling down, and you ended up needing it. I kept asking Felix about everything you liked, and disliked, and he was probably sick of me at that time," he chuckles, as memories of begging his roommate for any bit of information about you flooded his mind.

"I don't know how far into the future it'll be when I'll finally read this to you. I don't know how I'll be, or where I'll be, but as long as you're with me then I must be okay. I used to overthink everything, plan every part of my life so it'd run smoothly. That is until you came into my life, so suddenly, and you flipped it upside down. I didn't care to plan my life anymore, all that mattered is that it revolved around you," he pauses, sucking in a deep breath.

"I knew I wanted to marry you when you took me stargazing. You talked about the stars and galaxies so excitedly. And then you brought up Saturn; how it was unique among the planets, adorned with thousands of ringlets. And I remember thinking that you're my saturn, you're the dazzling planet that everyone admires and I'm the ring spinning around you, the one you're keeping afloat. And as long as you're here, I have a purpose and I'm okay. So please..." his voice wavers, as silent tears slip out of his eyes.

"Don't leave me. I know we're married now, but still, don't leave me. I love you. I feel like I've loved you in different lifetimes, in different earths and timelines. Everything can come crashing down around us, but one thing that'll forever remain the same is my love for you. I was made to love you, after all. My eyes were made to look at you, and my hands to graze your cheeks. And my heart... My heart was made to beat for you. And I love you. I feel like I don't say it enough but I truly love you. As long as I'm breathing then I'm yours."

Hi!

So, I'm not much of words, that's why I prefer giving ideas rather writing, sooooo...

Can you do something like: meeting 14 year old Jeongin (while reader is 14 as well) while reader was in a holiday with her family (younger brother included that is reader's partner in crime). They meet on the beach while both of them are in holiday and they find out they're soulmates (y'know those tiktok vids of finding who your soulmate is..? Something like that happened as well, maybe, just maybe, they have a soulmate sign that colors when the two soulmates make eye contact?). First kiss with him, as well as first love, but they drift off because reader was going back home, however he gives reader something for reader to remember him.

If you will do this, I also have an idea for a pt.2 bcs imagination is something I am full of. :)

Anyway, thanks!❤️

💭i could never forget you

pairing: yang jeongin x fem!reader

an: hii omg im so sorry you had to wait for so long !! i was struggling a little with this one, because i actually haven't really seen those tiktoks and i had to do lots of research so i apologise in advance if this is not what you had in mind :(( but!! i really hope you enjoy it<3 please let me know what do you think about it and thank you for this idea, it was a challenge but a very pleasant one<3 also please don't mind any grammar mistakes and typos

“ynnnn!” your brother whined right into your ear. you closed your book with a dramatic thud and looked up at him. his hair was wet - he must’ve just come out of the ocean - and he was staring at you with a huge pout on his face. “i’m bored,” he mumbled when he finally had your attention. you raised your eyebrows. “okay? what am i supposed to do about it?” you teased him, though you exactly knew he wanted you to just do something with him. your attempt to mess with him was met with yet another whine and you giggled at that, but proceeded to get up. “fine, what do you wanna do?” you asked, looking at your parents who were sunbathing right next to you, but didn’t seem to care too much about your plans. “let’s dig a hole here,” your brother pointed to a free part of the beach. you stared at him - you could’ve expected something like this. “and then let’s fill it with water.” you blinked, a bit confused. you were pretty sure you saw something like this on the internet a while ago and it didn’t end up positively. you thought about it a little and decided that, in fact, it's not a good idea. “okay, let’s do it then,” you picked up a plastic shovel and stuck it in the sand. 

an hour later and at least four reprimands from your parents the size of the hole was satisfying for both your brother and you. “now - you’re gonna stay here and keep an eye on the hole. i’m gonna go for some water,” your brother ordered and you saluted him jokingly, but obeyed nonetheless. you sat on the sand right next to the hole, breathing in the salty air and letting the wind mess your hair a bit. you observed people around you - an old couple feeding each other pieces of watermelon, the lady holding a tissue under her husband’s chin, and a younger couple, swimming together and splashing the water on each other, their laughter echoed all over the beach. you smiled to yourself slightly, deep inside wishing for a life like this in the future. you were young, so you still had time to find your soulmate. after all, your parents met when they were way over twenty years old and your aunt found her soulmate in her thirties. on the other hand, your friend from school accidentally met her soulmate when she was ten and the way she was bragging about the “beauty of the world in colours” was making you so incredibly jealous that you had no choice but to wonder when it was your turn. 

you were brought back to reality when you noticed a boy running towards the deep hole you dug. he was chasing a frisbee, his eyes so fixated on it that he didn’t even notice that something’s wrong and he kept running. you quickly got up and jumped into the hole to catch the boy before he could hurt himself. he let out a loud yelp when he slipped but you wrapped your arms around his torso. you helped him to get out of the hole and when he did, he turned around and reached out to you to help you get out of the hole, but as you were about to stretch your arm your eyes crossed and you swore the whole world stopped. you dreamt of this moment since you can’t remember when. you often wondered - did it hurt? was it overwhelming? you had so many questions, but were too scared to voice them. but now you knew. it was almost magical, you were now drowning in the boy’s brown eyes, his black hair was tousled by the wind. you took his hand in your and let him help you, never breaking eye contact. when you were finally out of the hole, you just stood there, hand in hand with the boy, both of you too astonished to even say a word. you didn’t know how much time passed, you were too focused on your soulmate standing right in front of you. 

your mother’s voice made you finally snap from this whole trance. you dropped the boy’s hand and looked at her. she looked mad. “yn, that’s enough, i told you to stop this whole digging! someone could’ve gotten hurt. apologise to this young man right now and fill the hole with sand. and for god’s sake, find your brother before he does something silly again,” she exclaimed, sounding more and more defeated with each word. she rubbed her eyes and went back to lay on the blanket. your attention was brought once again to the boy. “where are you staying?” you asked him in a hushed tone. he pointed a finger at one of the hotels by the beach. the same as you. “let’s meet at the reception at 7, okay? i think we have to talk about… this,” you added, doing a weird gesture with your hand. he nodded, still in shock. “i’m jeongin,” he stuttered finally. “i’m yn,” you introduced yourself and hesitantly started walking towards the shore to look for your brother, leaving jeongin alone. 

your friend was right - the world in colour is breathtaking. you’d spent your whole day just looking around, taking in the beauty of everything you could lay your eyes on. you finally could see why your mom always complimented you when you wore your yellow dress, the colour of your dress accentuating your eyes, and why she liked red roses so much. you thought to yourself that you might start liking them too. 

“yn? hi.” jeongin’s voice snapped you out of your reverie. he approached you, coming out from the elevator. you looked up at him, he was wearing a green t-shirt and he was smiling shyly at you. “hi,” you replied, getting up from the chair. you didn’t really know what to do - should you hug him? take his hand? it was so hard to figure this whole soulmate thing out, but you knew one thing - you felt comfortable around him. earlier, when you were holding hands at the beach, it all felt strangely right, considering that you always avoided contact with boys at your school. 

“so um…” you started awkwardly, slowly making your way to the hotel’s garden and making sure jeongin was following you. “how are you feeling?” good, you thought to yourself, it’s a good start. “confused, i guess? i mean, don’t get me wrong, i just didn’t expect to meet my soulmate here,” jeongin answered, his shoulders relaxing a little. you hummed in response, opening the door and breathing in the fresh air. you sat on a bench, looking up at the setting sun. the sky was stunning - you could spend an eternity just admiring the colour of it at sunset. “is it too soon to ask for your favourite colour?” jeongin was first to break the silence. you took a moment to process the question, though deep down you already knew the answer. “blue. it’s the rarest colour in nature and i’ve always wanted to appreciate it even before i knew what it looked like. and now that i know, it only convinced me that blue, in fact, is a very pretty colour,” you explained, playing with the hem of your dress. “you’re pretty…” jeongin whispered dreamily and your eyes widened. you were sure your cheeks were red, but maybe not as red as jeongin’s. “did i just say it out loud?” he mumbled, hiding his face in his hands to save himself from the embarrassment. you just laughed at that, placing your hand on his back and patting it a few times. “it’s okay. i guess it’s just a soulmate thing,” you added joyfully, realising that it was real life and not a dream. jeongin placed his head on your shoulder and you sat there for a long time, talking about everything and nothing, as if you knew each other for your whole lives. 

jeongin and you became inseparable. every morning after breakfast you rushed with him to the beach, swimming together and eating fruit from a local market. your parents were happy that you found a friend on your trip and even though you spent less time with them, they didn’t mind since you were having fun with jeongin. they even let you go with him to explore the town, eating local snacks and wandering in the narrow streets that resembled a labyrinth. you were glad you could get lost in this labyrinth with jeongin. you sat on a pavement in one of those streets, eating ice cream and admiring the world in colours. jeongin held your hand - it was gentle and innocent, but you felt as if your heart was about to burst out of your chest. you stole a glance at him, taking in all the details of his face. “oh, i think you have a little bit of ice cream here,” you pointed a finger on a corner of his lips. he tried to wipe it off but he missed the spot. “no, wait. here,” you exclaimed, wiping the ice cream yourself. when you did, you looked jeongin in the eyes, realising the proximity between you two. you backed off a bit, suddenly too shy to acknowledge the simple gesture, but jeongin placed a hand on your cheek and caressed it with his thumb. you loudly gulped but decided to close the distance between you and pecked him on the lips. it was short, some might not even consider it a “real kiss”, but it left both jeongin and you a blushing mess. you dropped your eyes to the ground but decided to lay your head on jeongin’s shoulder. you didn’t say anything after that, deciding to just relish in each other’s company instead.

the day of your departure came faster than you wanted and it was time to bid your goodbye with jeongin. you tried to keep your composure when you met him in the garden, but as soon as you saw his sad, faint smile, you broke down and tears started to stream down your face. jeongin hugged you tightly, letting you cry into his chest. “i got a little gift for you,” you heard his voice after a while. you looked up and jeongin cooed at the sight of your puffy eyes. his hand dove into the pocket of his jeans and he pulled out a little bag. “it’s not a lot, but i thought it might be cool if you had something to remember me,” he added, scratching the back of his neck. you took the bag from his hand and looked inside. it was a silver necklace with a rock in it. a blue rock. you felt the tears wail in your eyes again and you didn’t stop them from falling down your cheeks. “could you put it on my neck, please?” you uttered between sobs, sniffing loudly. he nodded and did as you told him, gently taking your hair out of the way. “done. now you’ll remember me forever,” jeongin chuckled, trying to lighten the mood a little. you made eye contact with him and placed a feather like peck on his cheek. “i could never forget you, jeongin.”

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