Why Your Partner Likes Diapers And Wants Them 24/7

Why your partner likes diapers and wants them 24/7

As a non-ABDL person, trying to understand why my successful, grown-up male partner would want to wear and use diapers 24/7 wasn’t immediately obvious. He even struggled to describe his feelings & desires to me. To make it even harder his desires seemed to change from wanting and even trying 24/7 to not wearing diapers at all for a few days.

Overall this really made me confused and worried and is what drove me to go deeper into my research into ABDL and start talking to some other couples.

He’s helped me with some of this article but the goal of it is to help non-ABDL partners understand their ABDL partners desire better. I should also say that this is our viewpoint and although I know from conversations with other couples it’s a very common one, there are obviously lots of different reasons why someone might want to wear diapers which we won’t cover here.

So firstly, you’re not in any way stupid for wondering why your partner might want this, as subjectively wearing diapers has a lot of negatives from potential embarrassment, cost, smells, extra chores in daily life… the list goes on. BUT for your partner some of these negatives might actually be positives and overall the positives far outweigh any negatives for them.

So lets get down to some of the reasons they like diapers:

It gives them comfort

This is a hard one to describe but in the same way that cuddling up to your partner or being given a hug can make you feel at ease, safe and relaxed, diapers can do this for ABDL people. 

I’ve heard the saying that wearing a diaper is like being given a hug constantly. From the moment they’re taped into a diaper many ABDL’s will feel more at ease.

It takes them back to a simpler time

Childhood is something a lot of adults look back on with fond memories where they lived without the stresses and pressures of daily adult life. Wearing and using diapers can really help in reminding them of these good times and adding some of it back into their adult life.

This is especially powerful if you take control of their checks and changes, and incorporate other elements of babying.

If you partner likes to regress and act like a younger age (age play) then diapers are a core ingredient to get them into this headspace.

They like giving up some control

I have no hard evidence to back this up but I feel that ABDL’s over-index on stressful careers and generally being “successful” people. The problem is this often comes with tons of responsibility and control over lots of decisions, so giving up some of this control can be incredibly therapeutic and stress-releasing for them.

I’m confident that all adults can relate to the enjoyment of having some decisions taken away from them, but for most using the toilet wouldn’t be their go-to thought.

We’re big advocates for 24/7 and one of the main reasons for this is I’ve seen first hand how beneficial it was saying to my boyfriend, yes you’ve got a big and important job with lots of stress but from now onwards going to the toilet isn’t going to be something you have to think about.

This year we’ve been experimenting with him giving up more control, by increasing the babying, and honestly the more I take away the better I think it makes him, both professionally and personally.

They like the smells

Being in diapers 24/7 exposes them to a lot of different smells which they can find enjoyable or relaxing.

From being taped up in a fresh diaper with baby powder scent, to the subtle pee smell as they use their diaper, to more pungent odours coming from their filled diaper, to the clean fragrance while being wiped clean. They experience this wide range of smells daily and each brings different feelings from feeling cared for, loved, embarrassed and more.

I myself (like many women) like the smell of babies and over time I’ve found that the smell of baby powder on him and his wet diaper is something that makes me feel content and relaxed too.

The feeling of diapers is great

The soft padding encasing their bum and groin is comforting, and then as they use it it gets warmer and squishy. There is a constant reminder of its presence when sitting or walking, with the subtle sound which accompanies it. Even the feeling of messing their diaper is enjoyable for many ABDL’s due to the unique feeling of it pushing out and then spreading in different directions.

The naughtiness of being punished

Diaper discipline should be more than your partner wants as otherwise it won’t fulfil the feeling of being punished and controlled which they crave.

Like other more mainstream kinks their diapers sometime being uncomfortable, embarrassing and inconvenient is a positive for them and isn’t something you should try avoid.

Many times it’s convenient

Being able to pee and not have to stop playing a game, watching a film or working can be convenient. My boyfriend used to get up in the night to pee which disturbed his sleep and mine, now it goes straight into the diaper.

On long drives and flights it can be a lifesaver wearing a diaper, the seatbelt light going on doesn’t worry you even if you need to pee.

Being changed is amazing

Diaper changes make them feel incredibly loved and cared for. It’s very intimate with some embarrassment but having your loved one wipe you clean and tape you into a fresh diaper is one of the top experiences for your ABDL partner.

Even a diaper check shows them you’re caring for them while also playing into the feeling of giving up control.

Diapers combine great with other kinks

Diapers go hand in hand with a range of other kinks including bondage, chastity, spanking & submission. If they or you are kinky you should try these with diapers involved and all make for good punishments too.

They’re cute

With ABDL and diaper discipline more popular than ever, we’re blessed to have a huge range of amazing adult diapers available. These diapers look cute on your partner and when combined with ABDL clothing it really plays into the lovely feeling of regressing to a younger age.

Why 24/7

So hopefully you can now better understand why your partner loves wearing diapers. But there are a few reasons why the idea of wearing 24/7 and then the reality of it is so appealing:

Accepting this is part of them

Many if not all ABDL’s have experienced or are still experiencing shame about their diaper wearing desires. Switching to or being forced to wear 24/7 helps them accept that this actually is a big part of who they are and they don’t need to pretend otherwise or feel guilty about it.

The loss of control

Accepting they now have to use their diapers instead of the toilet on a long term basis excites and scares them in a good way. They’re losing one of the most grown up privileges.

You accepting them

Encouraging or forcing them to wear 24/7 shows your partner that you fully accept this part of them. One of their biggest fears will be their ABDL desires cause them to lose you, so by being truly supportive it will be a massive weight lifted off their shoulders.

We’re going to do another article on this shortly but because of this I feel there is a big benefit of you forcing them into 24/7 rather than waiting for it to happen naturally.

It stops them having to decide when to wear

Many ABDL’s yoyo on their diaper wearing frequency and struggle to decide when to wear or not. Having this choice taken away from them removes this stress and helps combat the lows when before they’d have felt guilty and stopped wearing for a period.

It becomes part of their daily life

Diaper wearing is often a hidden part of their lives but moving to 24/7 means it needs to become much more normalized. From making sure their wardrobe is now designed around their padded bum to having a large stock of diapers on hand and not hidden is extremely beneficial for your partner.

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I’m sure there are many reasons here we’ve missed so please add them into the comments. Also please watch out for our next long post about when is the right time to switch your partner to 24/7 and how to do it.

Got my new diaeprs today so I'm already a crinkly butt again! So far I'm over 104 days on my "Potty Ban Challenge"

Very discreet baby 😎🤣

I just wanna be babied and talked down to from someone who knows how much of a dumb little I am.

“Awww hon that was a lot of big words! Don’t worry baby I know it’s hard to use those, just use your baby voice!”

Giving in and sounding all dumb for them, dumb and excited. They care for me as I fall deeper and deeper into littlespace.

“Good job baby girl! You’ve been pretending to be big for so long, just relax!”

“Awww you look so silly playing dress-up in those big girl clothes, why don’t you let me change you into something more appropriate~”

Getting put in a onesie and mitts, fully at their whim, trying to insist I’m big! I am! Until I almost have an accident while distracted, and thats the final nail in the coffin.

“Bad girl! You should have just let me put you in your diaper from the start. Now you’ve gone potty all over yourself babygirl.”

Treating me like the helpless needy baby I am<3

Making the decision for them

The biggest mental health issue we see when speaking with ABDL’s and littles is the shame/desire cycle with regard to wearing & using diapers. This is especially pronounced when they believe they’d be happier if in diapers all the time but have struggled to make it work.

Feelings of shame often are the catalyst which temporarily kills ABDL desires only for them to return stronger than ever a few hours or days later. This leaves your partner feeling both guilty about not committing to what they know would be good for them and guilty for having the desire to start with.

The good news is them having a supportive partner is the biggest advantage possible and you as their partner have the ability to transform their lives for the better.

Ask yourself if the following are true:

- They seem to be happier and/or less stressed & anxious when diapered

- They’re wearing diapers several times a week and often for multi-day periods

- They’re comfortable using them for #1 & #2

- They’ve worn in different public situations

- They’ve mentioned a desire to be 24/7 before

- They may have even tried 24/7 for a period before.

- You are comfortable with them wearing and using diapers

- You are willing to make some changes to your life if it makes them happier

- You are willing to be involved in their diaper wearing

- You can afford $200+ a month for their diaper supplies

If you answered yes to them all, using diaper discipline to “force” them into the situation they actually want can be extremely beneficial.

We have talked about many ways to use diaper discipline and although this may feel like one of the more extreme options it has proven to be very effective for couples we’ve spoken to and to us directly.

So what are we suggesting? Well in short, you return your partner to diapers full time and stop this negative cycle for good. Think of this more as an intervention than a discussion.

Yes this will be hard at first and there will be times they resist but I guarantee if you stick to it the positive results will speak for themselves.

For this approach I don’t recommend any half measures as this leads to gaps which can cause you and them to waiver and lead to the collapse of the benefits.

So if you’re willing and ready to take on some challenges to help your partner what should you do?

First decide a date from which this will start.

This should be 1-2 weeks away to give you time to prepare and the absolute ideal would be if they’re away for a day or two immediately prior to this date.

Second is to get yourself fully comfortable with the rules you’ll be setting out for them.

These are:

1. They will be diapered 24/7

2. The only exception to this is at work and with friends and family where they can wear pull ups but otherwise they’ll be in high absorbency medical or ABDL diapers.

3. When in diapers the toilet will be fully out of bounds, including at home, in public and on vacation.

4. They should now be treated as having bladder and bowel incontinence.

5. This isn’t a short term change and will likely be permanent.

Also decide on these three rules which we highly recommend but are optional:

- At home all checks and changes will be carried out by me.

- All diapers must be worn until full or have been messy for over an hour.

- At home diapers aren’t to be hidden and should be either be fully exposed or obvious through ABDL clothing.

Third, prepare for the change:

- Make sure you have a good stock of diapers for them.

- I’d recommend having around 200 in stock with a mix of high quality but thinner medical diapers (e.g. Tena Slip Ultima), thick medical diapers (e.g. Megamax) and ABDL themed diapers.

- Gather diaper changing essentials including adult sized wipes, powder, barrier cream, disposable gloves & disposable changing mats (bedwetting mats are perfect)

- To help things along get a stock of suppositories, mini-enemas, laxative tablets, fibre supplements and I’d also recommend devrom to be used to reduce smells.

- Buy some ABDL clothing essentials if they don’t already have them:

- A couple plain onesies to be used in public

- A couple of ABDL onesies for at home and nighttime

- A few ABDL outfits for use at home for example a romper, play dress & baby style tshirts

- Create a dedicated diaper changing room for them including at a minimum:

- A changing table. Ideally this would be built but a dedicated bed with a changing mat can work ok as well.

- A diaper pail (try buy a big one as otherwise you’ll be emptying it daily)

- Shelving / storage for their diapers and other supplies where they’re not hidden.

- A good air freshener or air purifier

- Having a full day or two to prepare can be extremely helpful if you can time it to be around them being out of the house

- This is optional but some light restraints can be fun and a big help, primarily:

- Wrist and ankle restraints on the changing table

- A locking diaper cover

- Padded mittens

- Straightjacketshop is our favorite for these

The big day

This day is going to change both of your lives for the better. Make sure you have everything ready for when they come home. In preparation also do the final step to commit to this and throw away all of their underwear.

Upon arriving home tell them you have a surprise for them leading them up to the diaper changing area. Help them strip down and importantly dispose of their underwear into the diaper pail before getting the to lie down on the changing table. Attaching the wrist restraints are a good idea at this stage if you’ve opted for them.

It’s likely they will actually be excited at this point with this development so don’t expect much resistance.

Diaper them into a thick ABDL diaper before telling them what you’ve decided. It’s best to give the background to your decision and focus on how you think this will be best for them and how you know deep down this is what they want.

Next, run through the rules slowly and a standout moment for me was reinforcing these to him by saying that this meant he’d be never using the toilet in our house again. This will be a lot to take in, and expect them try negotiate some changes to the rules but you should stay firm on all the major points.

Once they’ve calmed down from the excitement and nervousness of it all, dress them in ABDL clothes and try have the best possible evening. Cook their favorite meal, watch their favorite film, etc and keep them relaxed.

Likely more questions and worries will come up but you can normally handle these easily.

The question you will certainly get is “How long will this last for” and it’s important for both of you to accept that this isn’t a game or short term experiment but a permanent change. It’s very important you highlight this but you can provide a review period after a significant period of time.

I would recommend having a review after 6 months and decide if it should continue. 6 months is a good time period as it’s long enough to get through the initial challenges and far enough away to prevent them/you just waiting it out while not accepting the new reality.

First week

The first week is going to be a big adjustment as they realize you’re serious and you both get used to this new world.

As part of proving this isn’t a temporary thing get them to try on all their clothes while thickly diapered and get rid of all which no longer fit well. Follow this up with a shopping trip to replenish their wardrobe with clothing for public wear.

Make sure their diaper area is completely hair free, we find hair removal cream works wonders.

You should also use this week to ensure they know the rules are serious. I’d recommend using a suppository or laxative twice to ensure they fill their diaper and try make one of these be while around you.

Provide huge amounts of encouragement and praise all week. And reenforce that this is going to be great for them and you both.

Keep their diaper exposed at home or covered only by ABDL clothing, there should be no opportunity for them to not be wearing their diaper.

Finally try be as involved as possible in diaper checks and changes.

First month

With the first month try and get into the routine as much as possible and tick off different wearing and usage scenarios. Have meals out with them diapered, go on a day trip with a diaper bag packed, etc.

Continue to provide as much encouragement as possible and continue to check and change their diapers at home when you can.

You should also introduce daily fibre supplements for them as these are good for bowel health, can be used long term and although they will increase the volume of their bm’s it actually helps reduce the smell. Reducing red meats and fatty foods also helps keep the smell down.

This is also the perfect time to experiment with different diapers to see which are best for different scenarios. Try extending how long you keep them in the same diaper before changing to get familiar with their capacities. Expect several diaper leaks during this process and never punish them for these. A waterproof cover on your bed is a good idea.

Second month

Now you’re 30 days in you should be both used to the new situation and they should be now accepting this isn’t a short term change.

This month you should encourage them to begin diaper training and form a bedwetting habit. When diapered they shouldn’t be holding so check their diaper 30 minutes after a change and tell them off if it’s not already slightly wet.

Every night make sure they have 1-2 large glasses of water before bed and tell them you expect them to be wet in the morning. This process will take a few months but if you encourage them to relax and let go in bed and add punishments if you wake up in the morning and find them dry.

Finally you want them to become comfortable using their diaper fully even when out of the house. Have a day trip where they’ll be using their diapers a lot

Third month

This is the perfect time to go on a vacation together so if you’re able to, book a 1-2 week vacation. As they’ll not be around friends or family this whole period should be in diapers only from leaving your house to returning. When going through airport security a dry diaper is recommended to avoid setting off the scanners.

A vacation is a great time to get them even more comfortable with their diapers in public as they won’t be worried about meeting people they know. Experiment with them wearing thicker diapers than normal especially if you’re going on a longer day trip.

Also remember you should be treating them as if they’re fully incontinent so this means swim diapers are a must. If you have your own pool then I recommend using an ABDL swim diaper but also take a discreet adult swim diaper option for use in public.

A vacation is also the perfect time for you to take 100% control of their diapering. Even if you’re not doing this at home I’d recommend you doing all their diaper checks and changes for the whole period and make it clear they can’t ask for a change.

Do not make any exceptions for toilet usage and if you have a day where a messy accident would be very inconvenient use a suppository in the morning or some ducolax tablet the evening before to ensure they’re emptied out prior to the day’s activities.

Forth month

They’ll pass 100 days diapered this month so make sure to celebrate and congratulate them on the achievement.

You both might still be a bit shy about messy diapers at this stage and now is the right time to try change that. If you’ve noticed they hide away from you when messy tell them this and that messy diapers are normal and not something you expect to change your activities together.

If you’re not checking and changing all their diapers already at least start a rule that they must ask permission to change. When they ask, conduct a complete diaper check where it’s fully exposed and either pull back the rear waistband or use your hand on the back of the diaper to check for messy accidents. The other key thing is don’t always give permission, for example if it’s just messy and still has capacity tell them that it looks like it can hold more and to come back in an hour.

To help them get used to messing in your presence force the situation:

- Give them a suppository before settling down for a movie and don’t allow them to getup or change until it’s finished.

- Make them take 2 ducolax tablets in the evening which will result in them messing overnight.

- Use a suppository before a drive or trip to go shopping


Finally, they shouldn’t be associating a messy diaper with an instant change. It’s important that the state of their diaper doesn’t influence your activities too much. Once they’ve messed try continue your plans for an hour or two until there is a convenient time to change him / let him change. For example if he messes in the early evening, his change can wait until after you’ve eaten dinner together. Devrom and plastic pants really reduces the smell.

Fifth Month

Their diapered life will be feeling very normal now.

Now may be a good time to experiment with swapping out pull ups for thin diapers for work, friends & family. I’d recommend maybe a cloth backed option so they’re completely silent to build up their confidence. Make sure to give lots of reassurance that it is discrete.

Sixth Month

This is the review month so make sure to have a conversation about how they’re finding things. I’m sure you’ll both agree it’s been positive and will want to continue.

Avoid reducing the rules at all and I’d recommend now is the time to commit to them being diapered fully and phase out the pull ups completely.

I think it’s worth calling out to them that this means you’re committing them to diapers permanently. Now is a good time for you to increase your involvement to be checking and changing all their diapers at home.

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This post ended up longer than we expected but hopefully it’s will be useful to you as a partner of an ABDL. As always my DM’s are open and I’m happy to chat with anyone who is thinking about this for their partner and wants some advice.