*posts Something* *immediately Checks Notes* Why Hasn't Anyone Liked This Yet

*posts something* *immediately checks notes* why hasn't anyone liked this yet

The urge to bother my mutuals

Joe rn: 🪦

Tony: Frank, I know you love Joe. I mean, we all do, he's a very nice person and I respect him immensely.

Biff: But we think he might be a fucking idiot.

okay but can we talk about points 6-8 (i think) what book was that?!?!?!

For the Hardy Boys Anniversary I thought I'd share some of my favorite absolutely ridiculous moment from the books and if you have any of your own, feel free to add on.

Is this another book facts thing?

Let's call it a Book Facts Anniversary Special!

Starting off strong with the Hardy Boys have BEEN TO SPACE

THEY SOLVED A MYSTERY IN SPACE

THEY'RE ASTRODETECTIVE

INTERSTELLAR INVESTIGATORS

Frank also threatened to leave a guy in space while they were fighting outside the shuttle.

In another book, Frank and Joe are looking for their friend whose family is in witness protection and had to go into hiding because the criminals are after them again. They're being helped by two FBI agents

That is until one of the FBI agents is ATTACKED BY A BEAR and both have to leave so he can get medical attention. Obviously, leaving the two teenage boys in charge of getting the family to safety. How do those FBI agents explain leaving two children in charge of this mission? This shouldn't even work in fiction

Later in the same book, the criminals that were chasing the family get killed in a rock slide and they just don't acknowledge it. They drop their friend off, go home and discover that their father can cook. They watched two men die like it was nothing

This ridiculous moment is medical and I'm not sure if I'm more annoyed at Frank or at Fenton with this one.

Fenton gets stabbed in a dirty shack on the beach and instead of taking him to the hospital, Frank and Joe decide to take care of it themselves. Which would be fine, if Frank didn’t use water from a rusty pump to clean the wound. He boils it, but still,,, They're in Bayport when this happens. They don't need frontier medicine.

Moving on to Joe getting stung by 45 hornets and promptly passing out from the pain as well as the venom.

As someone who was stung by an entire nest of hornets as a child, the didn't happen to me. I was confused about the legitimacy of this medical issue. I've decided that I was stronger as an 8 year old than Joe Hardy as a 17 year old.

Also while that happened, Frank got his leg cut open by a piece of shrapnel from an explosion about a mile away from that.

Although Joe later call their dad to tell him everything's under control. Fenton and I both know his sons are absolute disaster magnets like him.

I made this joke awhile ago, but still I can't believe that there is a book that implies the boys are psychic and may have been using their abilities the entire series and then it's never addressed again.

Also I'm 90% certain that their psychic friend Colin is gay and flirting with Frank.

And the Frank flirts with him back, because there is no other way describe the part where he pins him (Colin) to a wall.

Speaking of guys flirting. There are so many moments that come off gayer than intended. Guys basically flirt with them all the time and they have responded positively.

This isn't the most ridiculous, but this is just my way of wanting to talk about how they sometimes describe Captain America AKA Ned Nickerson in Super Mysteries.

They talk about how handsome, muscular, and charming he is and I know they meant it as a jealousy thing cause they wanted Nancy,,,but sometimes I'm not sure which they really wanted.

Frank running out their room to chase a bad guy in his underwear,,,this didn't happen in their home though. No this happened in a hotel,,,,in Germany.

Joe chases down a bad guy while eating ice cream

Randomly becoming volunteer firefighters for one book

Frank being held hostage with the President of the United States for a ransom of a billion dollars

and who was holding them hostage, you might ask? A magician. A magician was holding the president and Frank Hardy hostage for a ransom of a billion dollars

They also later entered an extreme sports competition with the president's son.

Speaking of competitions, Joe once joined a stunt competition with professional stuntman to protect his friend and also because he's an Aries™

but found professional stuntwork (such as jumping out of plans and driving runaway eighteen wheelers) too tame compared to what he usually does.

Not specifically about them, but I find it a little morbidly funny that their friend Biff Hooper nearly died over football. Technically there was more to it, but when you boil it down, he was nearly murdered over football.

It's ridiculous how big Frank's tiddies are on this cover.

Frank and Joe literally tie a man to his own homemade electric chair and threaten to shock him if he doesn’t give them information. They’re lying this entire threat, but oh my god that’s messed up

That one time Frank literally pushed an EMT that was taking care of an injured Joe so that he could do it instead. OMG Frank curb your overprotectiveness for five minutes so the trained medical professional could do their job

There is honestly so much more and I love these boys so much, but I think I need to cut it off here

have you eaten? (i love you). did you get enough sleep last night? (i love you). how do you feel today? (i love you). did you have a nice day? (i love you). will you come on a walk with me? (i love you). here's some fruit I cut up for you. (i love you) (i love you) (i love you).

get it Fenton!!!

The way Fenton references his previous stay in this hotel in Kenya I'm debating with myself whether or not I should be putting "Frank was conceived in Kenya" on the next Book Facts