Bruce Puts The Milk In Before The Cereal. Vance Has Threatened To Divorce Him Over It

Bruce puts the milk in before the cereal. Vance has threatened to divorce him over it

If you can’t reblog this, unfollow me now.

10 or 11 little ducks have been spotted crossing the dash board

reblog if your name isn't Amanda.

2,121,566 people are not Amanda and counting!

We’ll find you Amanda.

some aliens in the denver area have even started peeking through our windows or jostling our houses to make us leave them. be careful guys, we have no idea what they're capable of

Imagine talking to a hot girl on tinder who's kinda odd and quirky but also way too pretty to be talking to you in the first place. And then she wants to meet up at an odd place to hook up and you figure alright I'm either getting laid or having my organs sold in the black market, win-win in my books, so you go meet up.

But once you get there, there's no girl or anyone throwing a bag over your head to take you to a secondary location. Just an alien who goes "oh shit, that's a rare one", and snaps a few photos of you for their personal collections.

You fucking hate it when they do that. Spotting humans in the wild is all fine for a boring-ass hobby, but using fake mating calls to lure you in is just fucking cheating.

Sirius: you gotta walk into rooms like God sent you

Regulus: as a punishment