The Person I Reblogged This From Deserves To Be Happy.

The person I reblogged this from deserves to be happy.

REBLOG

🐝 this bee is rooting for you. he knows you’re gonna be okay

For all the artists out there

I Had a Full Ride Scholarship and I Still Can’t Go to College.

I’m not an idiot.

I knew more than anything that deciding to go to art school was a dumb idea. Which is why I applied to 40 schools, both liberal arts and universities and art schools. And I got in to about 30 of them. I applied to every scholarship, filled out every form, spent the entire summer before my senior year working on my essays and common applications and studying until I finally got a 30 on my ACT. Because to me, college isn’t just the next step in life. Art school isn’t just a dream. It’s an opportunity to break out of the cycle of poverty that my family has been stuck in for generations, to overcome the scars of the foster care system, to prove to myself that I was good enough. College was my way out. And I got accepted into 30 of the schools I applied to, with different scholarships and financial aid packages and even after all my hard work, I still couldn’t believe it. I got into SCAD, Ringling, Columbia, CALARTS, CCO, and RISD. And out of all the schools, I had never felt more relieved or lucky when RISD sent me my financial aid letter, and it was a full ride scholarship.

All the other schools offered me scholarships, but RISD was my only full ride. So I took it immediately, overjoyed, because I had wanted so baldy to go to RISD and now I actually could.

But I can’t go.

Because my scholarship didn’t cover room and board, something I overlooked in my excitement. And room and board is about $10,000 per semester.

I have been calling and emailing and skyping people from the school nonstop for weeks, switching to the cheapest dorm and getting multiple roomates and working my ass off to try and pay for these impending costs. And I thought I had managed to do it: Finally, after everything, with a payment plan and insurance waiver and sleepless, anxious nights, I got down to about $7,500 a semester. With the money I had saved and been gifted from my Grandfather and outside scholarships, I thought I’d be able to make my first payment, immediately get a night shift job at a fast food restaurant near campus that was open 24 hours, and be able to JUST make it in terms of the money I owed for room and board.

But again, no. It wasn’t enough. It’s still not enough. And that’s the problem: It’s never going to be enough. I just had to use up half the money I had saved on emergency expenses so that my family wouldn’t lose our home, and I feel like dying. I would have to pay off about $1,500 every 3 weeks all year, which means working at least 8 hours full time every day including weekends, minimum wage, and still attending classes full time and not dropping below a certain grade point for fear of my scholarship being revoked. And even then I don’t think It would be enough. I have a full ride scholarship, and college is still too expensive for me.

I have submitted an appeal to live off campus in a last ditch effort to go to school, but it’s mandatory for freshmen to live on campus unless they’re 21 (I’m NOT.) or have family that live close. (Nope.) And even then, it’s strongly discouraged. They rarely, if ever, allow you to live off campus. The cheapest possible living option for me is 45 minutes away in a 1 bedroom place. And I’m more than willing to live there if it means I can go to school, I don’t have a car so I’ll have to take the bus or walk 45 minutes everyday (which I’m willing to do,) so I’m just praying that they read my appeal and let me. Because this is my last chance. This is my shot. This is my dream on the line.

I feel like I haven’t slept in months, and I won’t sleep until probably next year. But I’m going to keep trying.

If you want to help me pay for this boarding tuition, my paypal is fooperdoodle@gmail.com.

I also made a GoFundMe right here:

https://www.gofundme.com/f/my-full-ride-scholarship-doesn039t-cover-boarding

 I take commissions, I make buttons, I will sell my paintings, anything. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

do you ever just wanna hold someone so so tight and make them feel okay and heal all the pain and hurt in their heart, fill them up with so much love and make sure they never feel sad or broken again

reblog and make a wish! this was removed from tumbrl due to “violating one or more of Tumblr’s Community Guidelines”, but since my wish came true the first time, I’m putting it back. :)