"Heresy Is But A Contrivance. All Things Can Be Conjoined"

"Heresy is but a contrivance. all things can be conjoined"

i’ve started babysitting for a VERY christian family which is great because they pay me a lot of money but as someone who was raised almost completely agnostic it’s kind of insane. the 2 year old keeps asking me to read her stories from the bible. (why are we reading david and goliath to a 2 year old????) the 5 year old told me today that he was going to bring his legos to heaven with him. he also has repeatedly told me that the lego spaceships he builds are stronger than jesus. (not sure what to say to that. do i deny it??? are things allowed to be stronger than jesus??) had to stop myself mid sentence today because i almost told them im not going to heaven which would DEFINITELY have caused several meltdowns. they’re also both completely fascinated by my nose ring

not to go all Unabomber but the Authority of the Machine really fucked us up

finally, a use for the 20,000mg Doom Gummy

The real tragedy of Chimera Fallin is that her mouth is so tiny but her body is huge so she’s unable to smoke enough weed to get high unless she’s hitting that bong every minute. Like if you cry every time

likes to cast reblog to charge

I always got the feeling she'd been waiting to have someone to show it off to

Jasnah is soooooo fucking funny she’s like Shallan seems bored she’s inside too much let’s go on a field trip to a scary alley and I’ll fucking kill a guy in front of her. Eviscerate even. great field trip no notes

I just hope one day they refuse to continue spilling blood for the wealthy. maybe that makes me the biggest fool in the thread.

Have fun in the war dumbass I’ll be at home fucking military wives