6 Minutes Into Absolute Zero And I'm Already Regretting Starting It Before All The Episodes Are Out.

6 minutes into Absolute Zero and I'm already regretting starting it before all the episodes are out. Why do I do this to myself?

@shouldiusemyname Yes, I've finally reached the future. First watch at 6 AM while getting ready for work.

I'm in love with these two fools!

The way he was staring back at him the moment he noticed his eyes on him

Thanks to @shouldiusemyname for the tag. I found lots of cool folks to follow in this chain. Not the most accurate avatar, but she's close enough. Just imagine her plushier with either a big smile or rolling her eyes.

Tagging anyone who wants to play dress up with pixels! 🥰

Thank you for the tag @illumi-nati-png 😁. I should be sleeping, but this was far too entertaining. 😅

Anywho I was challenged to do this piccrew game.

Me and Moon the cat. I pretty much live in shorts these days until the howling gales of Yorkshire force me into trousers. I think I was possessed by the spirit of a pe teacher at some point in life. 😅

Anywho... I'm tagging @marvagon @bobbole @ibrithir-was-here @mashumaru @thirrith and @debellatis because I keep seeing you nipping in to like and reblog and wanted to say hello. 😅

To all the folks living in the future (aka another timezone) who've already seen tomorrow's episode of My Personal Weatherman ...

The way he was staring back at him the moment he noticed his eyes on him

The Importance of Amae in My Personal Weatherman

Masterlist || Language Analysis Part 1

I have seen a lot of discourse in the English-speaking fandom surrounding Segasaki's apparent dismissal or trivializing of Yoh's desire to pursue his manga, and most of it is negative. His comments about wanting Yoh to remain dependent on him, or that Yoh does not need to earn money are seen as patronizing or controlling at best and oppressive at worst. It appears that Segasaki does not understand nor respect Yoh's need for independence, and that is what strains their relationship.

But what if I asked you to consider that Segasaki's behaviour is actually an invitation to Yoh to reinforce their relationship? And what if I told you that Yoh's withdrawal from Segasaki constitutes a rejection of that invitation, and it is that rejection that strains their relationship instead?

Of course, the end result is the same - a strained relationship - and in reality there is never one side wholly responsible for this. The point of this is to simply challenge the cultural notion that a successful relationship is the coming together of two equally independent individuals, as opposed to the co-creation of a relationship formed by two interdependent individuals.

"If only you could stay drunk forever..." "It's okay to feel down again for me too you know" - Segasaki, Ep 4, Ep 5

This isn't about Segasaki wanting to keep Yoh is helpless and dependent on him, but about wanting Yoh to be able to be true to his feelings and express his own desire for affection honestly, without having to hide behind "I hate you" or rejection.

Or, let's try and talk about how Segasaki and Yoh reinforce their relationship through the use of amae (featuring a brief mention of tatemae/honne) who am I kidding this is not brief at all

First: Cultural Context

The way people conceptualize and make meaning of the Self differs between Western and East Asian cultures, and this plays into the differences we see in the basis for our self-esteem, the personal attributes that we value, and even what constitutes the behavior of a mature individual. Broadly speaking, Western cultures tend towards the Independent Self Construal (whereby the Self is a distinct entity separate from others) whereas East Asian cultures tend towards Interdependent Self-Construal (whereby the Self is connected to and defined by relationships with others). Thus, in the West, expressing one's individuality is very important for one's self-esteem, and being able to communicate clearly and confidently is valued and a sign of maturity. Conversely, in the East, one's ability to integrate and become a member of the group is prized, and contributes significantly to one's self esteem. In order to be seen as a mature individual, one must learn not only to read a social situation but also how to modify one's behavior in order to respond to the changing demands of that situation, with the ultimate goal being to maintain group harmony.

tl;dr - In East Asian culture, behaviors and attitudes that emphasize interdependence and promote group harmony actually play a big role in reinforcing relationships and one's membership towards the group.

Segasaki is an expert at this - his "public mode" that Yoh refers to actually shows us how good he is at social interactions. This is the Japanese concept of tatemae/honne (crudely translated as public self/private feelings) - which I could link to a bunch of articles for you, but I'm going to suggest you check out this 9 min street interview instead. At 6:41, one of the interviewees comments that another is sunao, or "honest" (we'll cover this later too) and at 6:49 specifically talks about how reading situations is important as an adult. Segasaki reads the room well, but most importantly, he reads Yoh well.

Yoh is not good at this, at all. In Ep 6, we see that he does not integrate well with the group, and he doesn't realize how he might appear to others when he stares and sketches from afar. Yoh does not read the room well because he doesn't pick up on social cues and does not adhere to social norms (I'll point these out in Ep 6's corrections). He cannot read Segasaki, and especially cannot read Segasaki's amae, or his attempts at reinforcing their relationship. Part of this is because his low self-esteem causes him to withdraw from Segasaki's affection as a means of self-protection, and so he valiantly tries to deny his feelings for Segasaki. As Man-san commented in Ep 4, Yoh is not sunao - he has difficulty with being true/honest about his feelings, even to himself.

Sunao is another term that usually pops up when talking about feelings/relationships. It can be used to describe one's relationship with oneself, as well as the relationship with another/group. With oneself, it is usually used to mean "being honest/truthful/straightforward/frank/open-minded about one's feelings". With another person/group, it is usually used to mean "to cooperate/listen/be obedient, or "to be humble/open-minded". In essence, the word encompasses an ideal virtue that is often taught from early childhood - that we should treat both ourselves and others with humility and honesty, because that is how we accept ourselves and stay in harmony with other. This is what becoming an adult, or gaining maturity, means (not gaining independence, as adulthood is often equated to in the West - do you see a running theme here 😂). Of course, that's actually really hard to do, so you'll often hear children (and immature adults too) chided for "not being sunao" (this can therefore sound patronizing if you're not careful). We'll revisit this in a little bit.

Second: What is Amae?

Amae is a key component in Japanese relationships, both intimate and non-intimate. It happens every day, in a variety of different interactions, between a variety of different people. But it is often seen as strange or weird, and those unfamiliar with the concept can feel uncomfortable with it. This stems from the difference in self-construal - because independence is tied so strongly to an individual's self-image in the West, it is very hard to fathom why behavior that emphasizes interdependence could be looked upon favorably. It is telling that every possible English translation of the word "amae" carries a negative connotation, when in Japanese it can be both negative or positive. The original subtitles translated it as "clingy", for example. Other common translations include "dependence", "to act like a child/infant", "to act helpless", "to act spoiled", "coquettish", "seeking indulgence", "being naive" etc.

From A Multifaceted View of the Concept of Amae: Reconsidering the Indigenous Japanese Concept of Relatedness by Kazuko Y Behrens

*Note - the word "presumed" or "presumption" or "expectation" or "assumption" used in the above definition and in the rest of this post, can give the impression that all of amae is premeditated, which adds a calculative component to this concept. Whilst amae can indeed be used in a manipulative manner (benign or otherwise), it is not the case for every single situation, and often amae that seeks affection is often spontaneous and without thought, precisely because the situation allows for it to appear organically. This is the amae that Segasaki and Yoh most often exchange - so think of these assumptions and expectations as "unconscious/subconscious" thought processes.

Third: Amae Between Segasaki and Yoh

Yoh shows a lot of amae when he is drunk:

He whines, buries himself into Segasaki's embrace, refuses to move or let go of him, and keeps repeating "no". In these interactions, Yoh wants Segasaki's affection, but instead of asking, he does, well, this, and he presumes that Segasaki will indulge his behavior. Leaving to get some fresh air might not be as obvious - but it is a form of amae as well, because Man-san is his guest, not Segasaki's, and he shouldn't be leaving Segasaki to entertain her. The expectation that this is okay, and that neither of them will fault him for it, is what makes it amae.

Segasaki obviously enjoys indulging Yoh when Yoh does amae, because he recognises this as Yoh's request for affection from him. It's not that Segasaki enjoys Yoh in this drunk, helpless state; it's not even that Segasaki feels reassured by Yoh's requests for affection. Segasaki knows Yoh likes him, and recognizes that Yoh is struggling with those feelings. That Yoh is actually able to do amae to Segasaki is what delights him the most, because it is something that requires a lot of trust in Segasaki and a willingness to be vulnerable in front of him. This is how amae reinforces relationships - when a request for amae is granted, both the giver and the receiver experience pleasant feelings.

That said, an amae request can also be perceived negatively - if amae is excessive, or if the person responding feels they are obligated to do so. In Ep 5, Man-san chides Yoh for his amae - the fact that he expected to do well from the beginning, and became upset when he failed. He told her about his unemployment, presuming that she would comfort him, but alas.

Segasaki also does amae - but unfortunately Yoh misses many of his cues, and so neither of them really gain pleasant feelings from the interaction (ok so maybe Segasaki does, but I will argue that is more because Segasaki also enjoys it when Yoh obeys him - see @lutawolf's posts for the D/s perspective on this!).

Did you catch it? Segasaki wants Yoh to pass him the Soy Sauce, which, clearly, he is capable of getting himself. He tells Yoh to feed him, because he wants Yoh's affection. And the real kicker - he asked for curry, and expected Yoh to know he wanted pork. In all these interactions, Segasaki presumes that Yoh will indulge him and do for him things he can do himself perfectly well (and even better at that) - this is what makes this amae. But look at Yoh's reactions:

Yoh just stares between the Soy Sauce and Segasaki, between Segasaki and his food, and then just at Segasaki himself. He doesn't recognise any of this as amae, and in the case of feeding Segasaki makes the conclusion that this is somehow a new slave duty he's acquired. And therefore, he does not gain pleasant feelings from it.

In Ep 3 we see a turning point in Yoh's behaviour - his first (sober) attempt at amae (the argument in Ep 2 is debatable - it's not amae from Yoh's POV, but Segasaki responds as if it were, with a head pat and a "when you get drunk, you talk a lot don't you?").

Here, Yoh wants to express his desire for Segasaki's affection, but he can't bring himself to say it aloud. Instead, he dumps bedsheets on Segasaki's lap, as if the bigger the scene he makes the greater the intensity of his desire he can convey. It is the presumption that Segasaki will understand him that makes this amae. And then, we get this:

Not only a happy Segasaki and a sweetly shy Yoh, but also a Yoh who's emboldened by Segasaki's response, and who finally, for the first time, reciprocates touch, and considers the possibility that Segasaki might actually like him.

With every episode, Yoh gets more and more comfortable with doing amae towards Segasaki, because Segasaki picks up on his cues and always responds to them. In Ep 5, Yoh's amae comes out naturally, triggered by the stress of his unemployment, and we see it in all those moments he sounds and acts like a child, and as I mentioned, Segasaki spends the whole episode reassuring Yoh that his amae is welcomed, and that Segasaki likes responding to it. If you've been wondering why the relationship between Segasaki and Yoh can, at times, feel somewhat parental in nature - this is it. It's because Segasaki sees the contradiction between Yoh's childlike insistence that he does not like Segasaki and his desire for Segasaki's attention and affection, for what it really is - Yoh's struggle with accepting himself. When Yoh is able to be sunao, he does amae naturally, and Segasaki responds to him in kind.

Now, all we need is for Yoh to recognize when Segasaki does amae, which will likely happen soon, given that Yoh has grown with every episode.

As always, thank you for reading :))

I asked myself this morning if there was anything I hated more than infidelity plots in BL season 2s and, while the answer is still "NO," nonsensical amnesia storylines are now in consideration.

In the end, there were a handful of special moments in the finale. Talented actors eeked out what organic sentiment could be found.

I'm curious to hear everyone's thoughts on what the final episodes could have been ...

Minato's Laundromat 2 Ep 12 (Finale) Stray Thoughts

Last week, one of my favorite shows continued to shit the bed with this ongoing amnesia plot, severing the compelling mirroring between both couples in service of what feels like a ratings play. I enjoyed getting to hear Nishigaki Sho’s more relaxed voice again compared to the bright one he typically uses when interacting as regular Shin with Minato. Minato went on a date with Shin at the insistence of the rest of the cast, and he tried to remind Shin of some of their moments, heavily leaning on their season 1 moments. It proved ineffective, and then the show hurt us by having Shin finally say Minato’s given name. Seeing that Shin doesn’t remember him, Minato has ended things for now.

Once again, we’re back to some early dynamics with Minato being sick and Shin insisting it’s okay for him to help since they’re friends.

Oh they are finally fighting. I get Minato’s frustration, but I’m also with Shin. It’s pretty lame to learn you were abandoned by what apparently is the love of your life during a moment of crisis.

I guess I’m relieved that this head injury hasn’t interrupted Shin’s plans of becoming a doctor.

I really am a sucker for heartfelt letters written by characters who struggle to express themselves, but I am always frustrated that they never deliver them themselves. Perhaps it’s too realistic for them to end up not working since only one letter like this I’ve ever delivered has worked.

It wouldn’t be Japanese BL if we didn’t have a track and field segment in the finale.

And now we’re back at the beach.

He can remember because Minato’s letter expressed the love that Shin has been asking for. 😐

High-key annoyed. “I remember everything,” is one of my favorite phrases in romance. Hate amnesia plots so much.

On the plus side, Nishigaki Sho and Kasukawa Takuya are good.

My goodness. It took us 24 episodes but we finally released the tension.

Oh, wow, Minato said the thing and kissed him on the street.

Final Verdict: 6, The Finale Doesn’t Erase the Stupid. I’m so sad that I can’t bring myself to give this show a 7. 7s are reserved for shows that stumbled around but were trying to do something appropriate with their characters. This show abandoned reason for madness at the end of episode 9 and gave up on the paired storytelling of its two couples to use a stupid (and honestly ableist) story trope in order to create a false balance shift. Did Minato need to be more open with Shin? Yes. Did he need prove his devotion to reassure Shin? Yes. Was this the best way to do that? Absolutely not. I really love continuations where we get to see the couple grow together and manage the challenges of commitment but this regression at the end of this season really pissed me off.

I still love Minato so much, but I’m deeply frustrated by the cowardly choices of this creative team in the final arc. I don’t know what order came down that made them scramble to do this instead, because I was in love with the slow, painful peeling back of layers of internalized homophobia on Minato for the first 9 episodes. Please don’t use my frustration here to argue that adaptations leaving behind source material are bad. That is not what went wrong here for the first 9 episodes. This feels like ratings nonsense and I hate it.