Magpieleif - Leif

the ai's aversion to producing anything that's not aesthetically pleasing dentist office artwork leaves it unable to comprehend true beauty

Yknow what, we should boycott big businesses more often. Absolutely when they fund genocide- but also, now, I’m discovering little businesses that need my support. Korean fried chicken made with love, and a whole bunch of salad, a lot of food for way less. Local juice and soft drinks made in my state with fresh local ingredients employing people I know. Delicious burgers made fresh and with chats over the bar, coffee shops who know my name and order and joke with me. I think people lean a lot on what they’re told is a “good” business, often founded on recognisability or public opinion, and when the ugly truth is revealed behind these corporations we have a choice to support those who need it. To support a family’s dream, to get their kid to soccer practice and to play clarinet or to invest in a swimming pool or just something more meaningful than a billionaires ego.

As always free Palestine, free the Congo, free Sudan.

For those that aren't in Australia right now, we have the funniest scandal going on.

Firstly let us introduce you to the eye of the storm: Sam Kerr. Sam is a women's soccer player who has in the last year become one of the most famous and beloved athletes in Australia. Captain of the women's national team, Sam became something of a cult figure after the last Women's Soccer World Cup became a complete unpredicted sensation in Australia, with the whole country getting behind the team.

Sam, up until now, has had probably one of the most squeaky clean images in sport. Generally in Australia it is not uncommon for our sports stars to be caught up in scandals involving drugs:

violence:

drinking their own urine:

or if you're cricket legend Shane Warne, probably all three at once.

Contrasting all this, Sam's image as the squeaky clean saviour for sport made it all the more shocking this last week, when it was announced that Kerr was to face trial after having been charged by the UK police of a "racially aggravated offence" involving a taxi driver.

This was shocking news. Nobody knew what to make of it. Sam was a model for young girls everywhere and a national treasure. "This is why we can't have nice things" screamed the nation. It seemed like all hope was lost.

That is, until, yesterday, when the UK police finally revealed the full details of the case, in which Sam Kerr, sporting legend, was arrested for vomiting in a cab, and then telling an intervening police officer that he was a “stupid white bastard”.

Now we probably don't need to point out that in Australia, vomiting in a taxi and then calling a cop a bastard is about as close to a national culture as we have.

You could not have come up with a better headline to make someone a national hero.

Needless to say, Sam in now being hailed down under as the greatest legend that ever lived, and a petition has already been started to have her picture added to the $5 note.

The tide has swung so far that not one, but TWO, state Premiers have spoken out in support of Kerr, and the Prime Minister has even gone on the record describing her as "a delight".

And so ends the racial abuse saga of our greatest sports hero of all time, and the very first reverse milkshake duck to ever exist.