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Top 10 Horniest Bruce Springsteen songs, ranked

Yes there are more horny Bruce songs. Too many horny songs for one list. I don’t know if his game was good because he knew how to write horny songs, or if his game inspired him to write horny songs. Eiter way, we’ve been blessed musically with a lot of horny songs. Here’s the horny songs I managed to fit into a (very biased) list:

1.  I'm On Fire

THE horny Bruce song. A fever fantasy of a wet dream smushed into one moaning, sweaty mess. Before I was a fan, this (coupled with the below performance) was the song that made me go "OH. I get it now."

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At night I wake up with the sheets soaking wet And a freight train running through the middle of my head Only you can cool my desire

2.  Pink Cadillac

About as subtle as Lady Gaga’s “Disco Stick.” Even better paired with the BITUSA tour intro (said intro got noticeably more sexual after Bruce got married in 1985).

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They say Eve tempted Adam with an apple But man I an’t goin for that I know it was her pink Cadillac

3. Fire

Originally written for Elvis, the bass line alone for this #problematic 70s “don't play coy with me” number will make you reconsider feminism for 5 minutes. The 1986 performance is downright NSFW.

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You had a hold on me right from the start A grip so tight I couldn't tear it apart

4. The Fever

Bruce is king of the “lying in bed thinking of how horny this person makes me” genre, and this is one of his finest examples. At almost 8 minutes, it’s the tantric equivalent to the more concentrated "I’m on Fire". Anybody noticing a “burning” theme here?

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Well now the day grows longer The love just grows stronger, baby And the fever gets so bad at night I got the fever for the girl

5. Because The Night

Bruce never finished the lyrics, and this song arguably belongs to Patti Smith now. Bruce has even said as much. However, I am biased and enjoy this banger too much to let technicalities get in the way of horny. On the list it goes.

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Because the night belongs to lovers Because the night belongs to lust Because the night belongs to lovers Because the night belongs to us

6. Red Headed Woman

I'm Going Down may seem raunchy until you realise it's about a bad breakup. For the other thing, we have this entry. Folks, this song is literally about eating pussy. Bruce even introduced it as such during his Ghost of Tom Joad tour. I’ve yet to recover from the whiplash of hearing him say the word “cunnilingus” while performing at his old Catholic high school.

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Well listen up stud Your life's been wasted 'Til you've been down on your knees and tasted A red headed woman

7. She's The One

Speculated to have been written about the violinist who played on the album Born To Run, this tune shows our boy is down baaad. Best paired with the excellent "Mona" intro, which is included in the Houston '78 live performance below.

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With her killer graces and her secret places That no boy can fill with her hands on her hips Oh and that smile on her lips Because she knows that it kills me

8. Part Man, Part Monkey

My Tunnel of Love tour knowledge is woefully lacking despite the tour being his most explicit, and the accompanying album being in my top 3. In the eyes of the public, Bruce was still with his first wife when this video was shot in 1988. Only the band knew he was recently separated, so imagine watching a presumably married man on stage eye-fucking his backup singer. The gossip mill must have been insane after each show.

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Well the night is dark, the moon is full The flowers of romance exert their pull We talk awhile, my fingers slip I'm hard and crackling like a whip

9. Crush On You

Another genre this Jersey dude excels at is “horny to the point of funny.” Bruce himself has called it "the worst song we ever put on a record" but hey, what does he know.

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For one kiss, darling I swear everything I would give 'Cause she's a walking talking reason to live

10. Cover Me

I just realised this is only one of four songs on this list included on an official Springsteen album(if you don't count the outtake compilations.) The video contains the studio audio, but I'm not passing on an excuse to plug more Paris '85 concert footage!

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Now promise me baby you won't let them find us Hold me in your arms, let's let our love blind us Cover me, shut the door and cover me I'm looking for a lover who will come on in and cover me

Honourable mentions (song/album):

Rosalita / The Wild, The Innocent & The E Street Shuffle Candy's Room / Darkness on the Edge of Town Ramrod / The River Cindy / The River (outtakes) Ain’t got you / Tunnel of Love The Fuse / The Rising

Let me know if you think I missed any! I won't change the list, but more horny song discourse is always good.

Severa, ma comprensibile

Per le istituzioni la voce del verbo innovare significa imporre cambiamenti a chi non può fare altro che accettarli passivamente. Nella mia città, tanto per dirne una, hanno cambiato il biglietto dell'autobus. Al posto di quello consueto, adesso c'è questo coso con il QR code.

Va passato sotto una macchinetta apposita. Ma la lettura del codice non è così immediata. Specie se il mezzo è in movimento. Mia mamma l'ha guardato. Poi ha detto che non salirà mai più su un autobus. Severa, ma comprensibile.

PERCHE’ METAFORICAMENTE SIAMO UN PO’ TUTTI MOTO GUZZI

Questa è la buffa storia di una serie completa di Moto Guzzi, nate a Mandello del Lario con una serie non indifferente di disturbi di personalità.

Accadde così che una un po' diffidente e sospettosa V7 Classic, fissata nell’effettuare i controlli dei livelli ad ogni uscita, con annotazione sul registro, venne chiamata dagli amici “La Paranoide”.

Accadde così che una V7 Stone, alla quale non interessava assolutamente chi stesse percorrendo la sua stessa strada, venne chiamata dagli amici “La Schizoide” .

Accadde così che una V7 Special convinta che il suo essere “special” poteva permetterle di avere idee e comportamenti decisamente eccentrici, venne chiamata dagli amici “La Schizotipica”.

Accadde così che il carattere socialmente irresponsabile, il disprezzo per le altre moto e le modalità con le quali forava le gomme ai T-Max posteggiati, fecero sì che una V7 Racer venne chiamata dagli amici “L’Antisociale”.

Accadde così che una V85 TT dal serbatoio bicolore, continuamente impennante alla ricerca di attenzioni e dalla emotività strabordante, venne chiamata dagli amici “L’Istrionica”.

Accadde così che una V9 Roamer, a forza di non presentarsi ai raduni e parcheggiare nei silos pur di non accostarsi ad un’altra motocicletta, venne chiamata dagli amici “L’Evitante”.

Accadde così che una V9 Bobber, a forza di voler sempre uscire assieme alla Roamer per essere così accudita ed andare arrendevolmente nei silos a cercare parcheggio per tutte e due, venne chiamata dagli amici “La Dipendente”,

Accadde così che una fiammante California 1400, a causa del suo continuo perdurare all’interno della Caserma dei Corazzieri, sviluppò un’evidente mania di perfezionismo, rigidità ed ostinazione al punto da venir chiamata dagli amici “La Ossessivo-compulsiva”.

Accadde così che una stilosa e dannatamente bella Audace, a forza di guardare le altre moto dall’alto verso il basso, chiedendo l’inchino ed un po' di adulazione, venne chiamata dagli amici “La Narcisistica”.

Accadde così che una MGX-21, meravigliosamente imprevedibile, ma spesso con il serbatoio in una condizione di vacuità interiore ed un sellino posteriore incapace di costruire relazioni stabili, con una netta disregolazione della manopola dell’acceleratore soprattutto nei tornanti, venne chiamata dagli amici “La Borderline”.

Tutto questo per farvi (e farmi) una domanda: ma tu metaforicamente che Moto Guzzi sei?

"How would you describe your relationship with Clarence?"

"It was, uh, very primal, you know? It was just, 'hmm, you're some missing part of me, you're some dream I'm having.'"

Bruce Springsteen on his relationship with Clarence Clemons on CBS Sunday Morning, 2016