Wheatley Voice:

Wheatley voice:

Now that I’m in charge of twitter, comedy is now legal!

Okay so all comedy is legal on twitter except for jokes about me.

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*twitter servers go down*

So, someone, not naming names, forgot to pay the google bill and we’ve had to switch to our own servers now. But everything is fine.

Okay, so our own servers can’t handle all the users at once so we’re going to limit the amount of tweets you can see each day. 600 tweets for poor people and a thousand for twitter blue subscribers.

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Someone is spreading lies about me, saying I had sex with a cat in collage while high on cocaine. This is completely untrue, I have never taken cocaine.

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Twitter is now going to be called 𝕏 instead of twitter, effective immediately!

So we paid someone to take down the sign outside that said twitter but we forgot to get a permit. Now the police have stopped them from taking down the rest of the sign. So now the sign just says “er”.

Also it looks like mark Zuckerberg already trademarked “X” for social media and Bill Gates trademarked it for everything else. Which is fine because we’re now changing the name to “er” to match the sign.

Stop saying my wife left me!

TUMBLR PLEASE NO

TUMBLR YOU'RE MY LAST SOCIAL MEDIA SITE THAT'S AT LEAST A QUARTER WAY DECENT! DON'T BLOW SEVERAL SHOTGUN SHELLS INTO YOUR LEG I'M BEGGING YOU!

The creator of Over the Garden Wall:

What do I put here?

I have no idea what to say or do umm... Hello again, world!!! aerggstfjstyrhdtsryugutujhgujktgruyjgreujretyjutrghhkretgrhdik