Finally, Its In The Game The Haunted Callie Calamari Doll That Drinks All Your Pepsi And Calls You A

Finally, it’s in the game… the haunted callie calamari doll that drinks all your pepsi and calls you a bitch…

Team Past Propaganda

Because I started thinking about it again and now I'm all emotional-

I want to convey in words why I chose Team Past and why I don't think it contradicts the themes of the Splatoon story modes, because while the Squid Sisters do a great job of describing my basic reasoning in the Splatfest introduction, I understand why the story modes might feel like Present or Future are the "correct" answers.

(Spoilers ahead for all story modes, including Octo Expansion and Side Order)

Nearly every Splatoon villain is stuck in the past or heavily influenced by it in some way.

Mr Grizz and Tartar are the obvious ones: Grizz wants to see the return of mammals, and Tartar is disgusted with the current ex-sea life running the planet and wants to wipe it out and start over in favor of creatures more like his beloved humans.

In a way, being born of the regrets and desires of some escaped Octolings to return to their more orderly roots, Order/Smollusk can also be described as being motivated by the past. Even DJ Octavio does much of what he does because of the outcome of the Great Turf War and old grudges.

A recurring overall theme of these story modes, started in Octo Expansion and then expanded on (heh) in Rise of the Mammalians and Side Order, is that you can't turn back the clock, and you can't escape change. Even if Tartar and Grizz had "won", nothing would have brought back Tartar's scientist or the old mammals. In fact, their plans would have, ironically, destroyed humanity's last remnants. (And don't get me started on the thematic symbolism of Mr Grizz becoming biologically more fuzzy ink monstrosity than actual bear-)

I don't think it's a stretch to say that Grizz at the end of RotM is speaking with authorial intent in his final moment of clarity: "The times have changed. The world can never be as it was. Moving forward...is the future."

So the point of these story modes is that you can't move backwards. You can't rewind time; what's done is done, what's past is past, and obsessing over it and trying to revive it at the cost of the present and future isn't healthy (and doesn't work anyways).

But that doesn't mean you should never look back.

Rise of the Mammalians, like every other story mode dating all the way back to the Wii U, has optional lore, and it dropped an absolute bombshell for us lore nerds: the current ex-sea life of the Splatoon world didn't just evolve after humanity fell, their evolution was influenced by the desires of the last humans in Alterna. The species grew to leave the water because the Alternans' last wishes were to see the sun again. (And it was somehow transmitted through crystal detritus, which is some interesting sci-fi, but sure, why not?)

And this, in my opinion, is a pretty emotional reveal, and is treated as such.

Suddenly, all the significance given to Calamari Inkantation over the series pulls itself together - the fact it is an old, practically ancient folksong, described as being part of Inklings' very DNA, yet with the power to compel Octolings to seek the surface as well, and even transform Smallfry? If all that isn't enough to spell it out for you, the Inkantation is sampled in the credits' theme Wave Goodbye... Chanted by human vocals. The song that's been an Inkling battle anthem and the inciting moment of so many Octoling character arcs was passed down by humanity. Those scrolls from Splatoon 1 casually dropping that our colorful squid-kid world is a post-apocalyptic one come full circle.

Rise of the Mammalians tells us not to get so obsessed with the past that we try to turn back time... But in the same breath, reveals the past of the Inklings and Octolings and sea creatures we love so much and uses it to tie them together in the present.

Even Marina, a character who can "take or leave" her past and continually, consciously chooses to focus on the present (and to a certain extent, the future), goes out of her way to create the Memverse to help sanitized Octolings regain their memories of the past. She's also happy to reunite with Acht, who she shares a lot of history with. An exclusively present focused view could theoretically tell those Octolings that they don't need their memories to be whoever they want to be now, or could bristle at someone showing up from a problematic past, but Marina clearly doesn't hold to anything like that. She values the present the most, but she doesn't scorn the past.

And I think that's what I like about this Splatfest so much, and why it made me think about my choice for so long. Like Chaos vs. Order, (where they're careful to make clear that Pearl doesn't hate the status quo, and Marina doesn't necessarily want nothing to ever change), I feel they were careful to try and be clear that there isn't a definitive "correct" answer to this one. Callie herself points out at the start of her defense that all three of Past, Present, and Future are important, and I agree.

Splatoon as a series emphasizes living in the Present and not being afraid of a changing Future, but I believe it also values the Past. It loves to show where its characters and world came from to inform a little more about who they are today. (Just look at each member of Deep Cut getting a dedicated Sunken Sea Scroll about their family history!) I believe it takes a similar stance I do, that while your Past doesn't entirely define you (again, see Marina), it is nonetheless important - crucial even - to understanding who you are.

And someday, as you move onward through the present towards a brighter future, you'll look back at today - at the past - to see how far you've come.

So, uh, yeah. This cephalopod game makes me emotional and I love finding excuses to blab about it, so might as well get it in words before the actual Grand Fest starts.

If you read this whole thing, thank you so much, and whatever team you pick, I wish you the best!

PHOTO DUMP!! These aren’t even all the ones I have on my switch, I just got tired of sending images to my phone.

ENJOY MY PHOTOGRAPHY!!

I think video game photography might be a passion I have because I really enjoyed taking photos of these goobers and tried SO hard to get stuff right.

Welp, that’s a passion I might try exploring!!

At that moment, he didn’t quite realize how foolish he had been. It seemed like the whole world was within his grasp once he saw a chance —his chance— to become something greater.

He did everything he could to step away from those other advertisement programs. To remove “Addison” from his name, from his appearance and his very being.

Slowly but gut-wrenchingly rapidly, he found his wish granted. Yet, it’s funny how his insides were anything but fulfilled; instead, they remained emptier than ever.

It was still dark. So dark. And it felt so wrong. That, after all, he got what he wanted.

Didn’t he…..?

@mypuchiart NOOO DON’T DO IT

MOTH SPAM IS TOO MUCH FOR THIS WORLD

he's a lot harder to fit on this canvas size..

small versions and bonus colors. palettes from the Yellow Version's sprites of Snorlax, Mew, Beedrill, Butterfree, and Ivysaur respectively.