While They Ordinarily Feed On Fish, Crabs, And Small Birds, Pelicans Working In Coastal Cities Will Occasionally

While they ordinarily feed on fish, crabs, and small birds, Pelicans working in coastal cities will occasionally imbibe alcoholic beverages in order to become intoxicated. Believed to be a form of stress relief after long days of thankless work, these drunken seabirds can hold up to one quarter firkin of alcohol in their mouths at a time. Above, a Brown Pelican has a wobbly flight home after three mouthfuls of cider.

Terrified of heights, Skimmers have produced a rather novel adaptation. Rather than follow the Kiwifruit bird’s example and become flightless, they evolved a significantly protruding lower beak to keep in constant contact with the ground or water. Sadly this anatomical anomaly eventually erodes away, invariably causing a high-speed demise when the bird switches to the upper beak and can no longer look where it is flying.

If you look in bestiaries dating prior to the late Medieval era, you will find no mention of the humble Vulture. The reason for this is simple: they were renamed shortly after the Hundred Years War, as they were the unofficial mascot of soldiers who carried a peculiar weapon into battle. Voulgers were semi-trained soldiers equipped with a voulge, which was essentially just a meat cleaver strapped to the side of a long stick. Despite its simplicity the weapon was devastatingly effective, attracting these carrion birds for miles around.

Persnickety florists, Rainbow Lorikeets can take upwards of an hour to select the perfect flowers for their seasonal arrangements. Using their sensitive tongues they can accurately determine which flowers will endure display the longest before withering, and their scissorlike beaks can swiftly nip through even the toughest of stems.

A relative of the common duck, the Hooded Merganser is a marvel to fashionistas and theoretical physicists alike. While there is some debate as to whether it is simply their sense of style or rather their entire corporeal being that is stuck in the 1980s, everyone can agree these devotees of punk rock have impeccable taste in music.

Named for their characteristic call, Gurnards (like the Cuttlefish) are an ocean-dwelling subfamily of Robins often kept as pets by deep-sea fisherpersons and intercontinental sailors. These colourful birds are renowned for their unique plumage and ability to hold their breath for months at a time. Obligate piscivores, Gurnards should not be adopted by those who dislike coastal living, as their diet becomes significantly more expensive the further inland one lives.