Deep Breath Okay Fair Warning I Have Had A Fair Amount Of Wine.

Deep breath Okay fair warning I have had a fair amount of wine.

Idk if it’s just the day or this fic but I am having a hard time giving feedback other than OMFG FUCK YES.

The goddamn language in this fic killed me. Granted, most of my knowledge of medieval-what-not is from all the Rennfair-esque YA I read as a middleschooler.

STILL, I just, the dialogue, the word choice, the thoughts, THE EUPHEMISMS?? IT SOUNDED SO ON PAR.

Bitch are you seriously describing agricultural evolution here like why you going into detail about storing harvest inside WHY DOES IT FIT FOR SOME REASON WHY DO I NOW CARE.

Like, okay. I had to read this on my phone so I was screenshotting scenes instead of being able to copy and paste but shit like, “As much as your family prayed for abundance, the soil isn’t as fertile as it once was. Gleaning seeds of hope yielded less and less each year.”

I MEAN??? HOW YOU JUST GONNA, ALL THE METAPHORS FIT THE CHARACTERS AND THE SETTING. I WAS LAUGHING IN THE SEX SCENES BECAUSE OF Y/N’S THOUGHTS. SO IDK ON POINT??? Like I know what a poor wench was thinking in those days.

And in the end. Omg, I was well fuck I can’t spoil it but I saw what was coming and I was like YES IRIS DO IT DO IT and it happened and I was like WOOHOO MURDERRRRRRR

Okay as usual of course there were other lines I enjoyed. I know I had a few specific ones somewhere but my phone has no data to save screenshots. But… just, like, ugh. Never once did it break scene. Why did I wait so long to read this I don’t even know why.

The Lord Taketh Away (M)

Summary: Every autumn, the dwindling harvest summons fears for the impending winter and its promise of scarcity. For Seokjin and his wife, faith lies in God and their local lord’s generosity to provide what their ailing son needs to survive another year. With each season, however, the lord grows cold-hearted and greedy, squeezing the young family to the brink of despair.

Pairing: Seokjin x Reader

Genre: Angst, horror, smut

Word Count: 11,766

Warnings: Werewolf!Seokjin, medieval!AU, married!AU, major character death, excessive violence, horror, cannibalism, mayhem, violence against children, excessive blood, graphic sexual activity, dubcon, rough sex, hate sex, impregnation kink, religious references, male dominance and ego which reinforces societal norms (some of y’all hate it, others get off to it), and socioeconomic disparity courtesy of serfdom and famine in the 14th century. PLEASE don’t read this if you’re sensitive to suffering or heavy angst. I spared no one.

A/N: I got carried away in some parts. I can admit that. This isn’t the flirty Halloween smut you’re looking for, dears. It may be your thing if you’re into the Great Famine or feudalism, though. This story was written as part of the Fantastical Tales for Curious Souls collab.

Excerpt:

The ache is always worse when the wind picks up. The chill in the air hardens your cheeks and you clench your jaw, holding in your breath until it passes. As the gust blows by, leaving renewed concerns in its wake, you harden yourself and refuse to acknowledge them aloud. The thoughts—fears—settling into your bones are enough to deal with. No one is prepared to accept another year of crop failure, emotionally or otherwise…

“Are you feeling ill?”

Seokjin’s dulcet voice restores your focus and you feel guilty for appearing unwell. It is too important to keep calm on the day of the last harvest. There is much at stake and not a single drop of toil can be wasted.

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Copyright © 2019 by dark-muse-iris. All rights reserved.

Posting my own work on my rec blog cuz u gotta rec yourself to love yourself

Cane Sugar | KNJ

Pairing: Namjoon x reader

Genre: +18, PWP, smut

Warnings/Tags: Impact play, dom!Joon, brat!reader, degredation, cane-spanking, sex, aftercare

WC: 3.5k

a/n: Inspired by those goddamn daddy long leg photos. I haven’t written smut in a while, so I’m excited to post this :D Plus it is a sub-reader, which I don’t do often. Thank you to @wwilloww​ for betareading and coming up with a name, please be my agent.

“Baby, you home?” Namjoon’s voice calls from inside the house as you enter. It floats to you on the air of nonchalance, but you know better.

He’d been waiting for you.

You grip the doorknob tight and take a deep breath before you finally close the door and let go.

You’re in trouble.

And yet, you can’t help the devilish smile that has you twisting your lips to keep it under control as you remove your shoes in the entryway. You pad lightly into the living room, hands innocently laced behind your back as you peer in only for your breath to catch in your throat.

Namjoon hadn’t changed out of his work clothes, elbows perched on his crossed legs and hands folded neatly on his chin. His gaze, dragon-like with the cut of his stare and burning with the embers, locks onto you once you appear. He recrosses his long legs, his slacks stretching and the shine of his shoes catching in the low lamp light, and you notice something caught across his lap.

A cane.

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“ jungkook being an absolute gentlemen in the bedroom and an absolute crackhead everywhere else “ this tag is REAL and it’s done SO WELL.

First of all, this entire premise is entertainingly ridiculous, so it gives free rein for however it plays out. I for one love anything that plays out like a smutty sitcom and boy did I love this. Jungkook is in fact a crackhead, and he’s not completely taken over by his (surprisingly rampant on tumblr) fuckboi!JK character. The banter between them and OC’s attitude toward him make their relationship seem genuine.

Most of all, there are some seriously awkward scenes in here that presented the absurdity of the situation on point, followed by transitions of reflection or relationship building that don’t even seem conscious. For as real as it can be to imagine standing naked in front of my best friend giving affirmations to each other, this seems exactly how it would go.

I was patiently waiting for the FTL switch, and it was so sweet (hence the accuracy of the tag). The clicking of feelings is so hard to write. Trying to find that moment where we can make the character go “aha!” It built so well throughout the last “task” from Hoseok, drawing on everything else in the chapter, feeling like a satisfying climax for these two characters (haha puns). (Okay let’s also take a moment for how easy it was to visualize everything Hoseok did from sucking down his drink to scrunching up in a glare).

I didn’t realize this was part of the love yourself collab when I read it. And I really, really appreciated at the end where JK’s dick hasn’t solved all her problems. Even when we are struggling, having a partner isn’t going to solve everything. And having a partner who understands our illness and knows we need more than they can give is a miracle in and of itself. Thank you for that ending!

𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 jungkook x reader || 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕 6.6k || 𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒆 smut, fluff, angst

𝒔𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚 part of the love yourself collab run by yours truly. your best friend jungkook finally convinces you to seek therapy for your failing mental health. the only catch? the one therapist that’s within your price range is an alternative marriage counsellor, jung hoseok, and the only way jungkook managed to get you an appointment was by saying the two of you were married. will couples counselling actually be useful for your wellbeing, or will something that runs much deeper rise to the surface instead?

𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 language, fingering, oral (f receiving), jungkook being an absolute gentlemen in the bedroom and an absolute crackhead everywhere else, riding, protected sex, missionary, pretty vanilla sex, body worship, praising, mid-fuck love declarations, pretty soft honestly

much love to the kind @birthofvcnus for making this. i’ve never had a moodboard before, and it’s insanely gorgeous and perfectly fitting. please do support this creator!

—

“You’re trying to tell me the two of you are married?”

You blink at the therapist. “Y-yeah. Yes. We are, indeed, married.”

Jungkook swallows, eyes wide. “Very married.”

Hoseok (he refused to let you call him Mister Jung) narrows his eyes, chin cocked suspiciously. “I don’t buy it. Do you have your documents on hand?”

You choke on spit, heart racing. He knows. “Do you- do we need to- I haven’t-”

The two of you stare in bewilderment as he drops the glare and slaps his knee, throwing his head back with a peak of laughter. “Ah, I’m just messing with you folks, you’re fine.” He calms, letting out a satisfied sigh as he looks back and forth between you. “I like to have fun here,” he reveals, “keep it real. The couples that come to me are going through the roughest times in their relationship, sometimes their whole lives, you know? Anyways, let’s move on. When did the two of you start having problems?”

“It was a dark and stormy Tuesday,” Jungkook divulges in a hushed tone. “I had indigestion because I had eaten three packets of ramen when I normally stick to two, so I was distracting myself with the new game I-”

“Okay, Tarantino,” you break in, “nobody gives a shit.” You turn to Hoseok. “There’s nothing wrong with Jungkook, so you don’t need to bother talking to him. I’m the problem; my mental health is pretty poor and I know I need help.”

The therapist nods slowly. “I appreciate you sharing your opinion, Y/n. However, marriage is a two-way street. In addition, I ask that the two of you refrain from interrupting each other in the future. The two of you deserve to have your say.”

“Yeah, Y/n,” Jungkook jibes, “let me speak! You should listen to your husband!”

Hoseok looks stricken. “Let’s avoid enforcing any gender roles, Jungkook. It’s not constructive or relevant in a marriage.”

Jungkook considers this. “Yeah, you’re right. I’m like, the best husband ever, but I would still absolutely ace the housewife shtick.”

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All I Want | JJK/KTH

Pairing: Jungkook x Taehyung x Fem!Reader Genre: Smut, Fluff Word Count: 4.7K Synopsis: It’s a Christmas miracle you caught Jungkook and Taehyung crossing paths under the mistletoe. Tis the season for generosity, and being the bearers of good tidings, how could they ever deny your request to watch? Rating: M (18+) Warnings: Casual sex, dom/sub behavior, Jungkook is best boy as always, oral (m & f receiving), fingering (m & f receiving), anal (mxm), dirty talk, cursing, food play 🥵aka misuse of custard pudding, light spanking, anal creampie, and an awful crackhead ending feat. Jimin the baker (sorry, not sorry). A/N: This is part of the Snollab winter collab with @joopiterjoon​ @ot7always​ @ezralia-writes​ @jinpanman​ @thatlongspringnight​ and @wwilloww​! A big thank you to Willow for including me in this. It was a pleasure working with these fine writers, who have worked hard to bring some holiday cheer to Tumblr this year. Enjoy! ❤️💚❤️

Jungkook’s lips graze Tae’s to test the waters as a fresh sprig of mistletoe hangs high above their heads. “For how long?” He asks in a short tone, breath fanning over his friend’s cheeks.

Sure, he sounds annoyed, but the way he’s gripping onto Taehyung’s waist as his other cups the man’s jaw says that perhaps this moment isn’t wholly unwelcome. 

“Three long, excruciating minutes.” Your smile shines as bright as twinkling fairy lights on a douglas fir. “And the timer goes backwards if you skip the tongue.”

Taehyung inches closer to his friend with a shit-eating grin. “I have no problem with that.”

“See?” You nod to Jungkook. “He has no problem with that.”

“That’s great, Noona. I’m glad.” 

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Hello hi yes the queer content? Fulfilled. Please refresh daily.

Of the Yoonji’s i’ve written, they’ve all been soft on the inside. So this Yoonji, ordering patience and making puns while grabbing y/n’s ass?

Dead.

“bemused glimmer in her catlike eyes” the way I could picture this. My heart skipped a beat. I want those eyes staring up at me from between my thighs (which she’s holding up to keep me from falling because caring doms are the best doms).

come dine with me

A/N: hello no banner bc i wrote this out of pure horniness and it’s only a drabble but yoonji eating you out in the kitchen that is all thank you for coming. also i am dedicating this as a gift to my darling girlfriend @honey-boyyoongi​ it is only the distance between us that is making me write this instead of just doing it so y’all better be thankful we’re ldring

pairing: yoonji x reader ||| word count: 1.4k ||| genre: pwp

warnings for sexually explicit content: oral, fingering, teasing, soft dom yoonji

–

You love to watch her cook.

She moves around the kitchen as graceful as a dancer, your Yoonji, majestic from the curl of her fingers holding an onion as she dices it, to the rhythmic flick of her wrist while she tosses the contents of a sizzling pan.

Normally you feel your heart swell at the domestic sight, at how lucky you are and how talented she is, but you can’t deny that your blood is rushing for an entirely different reason.

“Stop squirming, you’re distracting me.”

You freeze at her low tone, halting your hips even as they ache to grind on the stool you’re sitting on. “Yoonji…”

“Be patient. I just need to prep this and then it can go in the oven.”

Biting your lip, you squeeze your thighs tightly together as your girlfriend tosses her sleek brown hair over her shoulder with a careless jerk of her head. It had been growing quickly all summer, and she’d long since surpassed her usual bob length. You could tell the longer locks bothered her, always forgetting to tie it up, but you had a much more positive view. All the better to tug, in your opinion.

The thought brings a whine to the back of your throat, and you cough hastily to mask it.

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Sugar Plums & Red Bums (Jungkook/Reader)

⏤ Pairing: Sub!Jungkook/ Domme Reader

⏤ Genre: smut, porn w/ plot, romance, established relationship

⏤ Word Count: 12,677

⏤ Warnings: Smut, Pegging, Oral, messy, dirty talk, degradation, noona kink, pet names, possessiveness, overstimulation, strap-ons, domme/sub elements

__ Rating: 18+

Summary:  When life gets too hectic, trust that Jungkook knows just how to help you relax…and trust that you know just how to reward him. Or, a story of how he gets put on the nice AND naughty list, all at once.

A continuation of my previous fic (Do it) on my twin bed, and a part an amazing and fun winter collab! <3 

Tagging: @wwilloww @ezralia-writes and @joopiterjoon AND @jinpanman​

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