Meatball-joe - Meatball Joe

dealer: got some straight gas 🔥😛 this strain is called-

me: i dont wanna hear it man. last week it was slutweed, the week before that it was the jpeg weed that kept clipping through the paper, just give me the normal shit

dealer: aw come on man i got the cocomelon weed👶 i got the analog horror weed👁 i even got the pizza tower weed🍕 dont worry its not just oregano😉🌿

me: do you even sell normal weed. are you some kind of fucking trickster spirit.

high pitched gnomish voice from somewhere in dealer’s giant trenchcoat: i thinjk shes onto us boss

Frau Von Gabelmesser's Advanced School for Indolent Jagoffs

gnome giving an emergency briefing to the U.S. president: you humans have no word for it… i suppose the closest approximation would be… “berrydeath”

nerdy human scientist (wiping his forehead with a moist handkerchief): jesus christ

square-faced general: if only we could use it as a weapon

"Do you ever dream of land?" The whale asks the tuna.

"No." Says the tuna, "Do you?"

"I have never seen it." Says the whale, "but deep in my body, I remember it."

"Why do you care," says the tuna, "if you will never see it."

"There are bones in my body built to walk through the forests and the mountains." Says the whale.

"They will disappear." Says the tuna, "one day, your body will forget the forests and the mountains."

"Maybe I don't want to forget," Says the whale, "The forests were once my home."

"I have seen the forests." Whispers the salmon, almost to itself.

"Tell me what you have seen," says the whale.

"The forests spawned me." Says the salmon. "They sent me to the ocean to grow. When I am fat with the bounty of the ocean, I will bring it home."

"Why would the forests seek the bounty of the oceans?" Asks the whale. "They have bounty of their own."

"You forget," says the salmon, "That the oceans were once their home."