My Poor Baby Vlad

My poor baby vlad😭😭😭

I don't know if it's just me but this crying scene messed me up because the steps he went through just in this scene alone describes me perfectly when I'm broken and crying.

First step, the trying not to cry part but the sobs just keep on escaping so you can't do anything except try and pretend like they're just gasps for air and not the sound of your soul breaking apart.

Second step, the trying to get away part...people have already started to notice that you're crying so the best move to do at that point (at least for the introverts like me) is to get the hell away from people who might see you at your weakest. It's almost like a survival instinct how you try to avoid eyes and comforting touches from anyone and just want to be in an empty room where you can shout or throw things around till your heart is content.

Third step, the part where one person can get through and just give you an iron grip of a hug that you cant escape from even if you try with all your might and you finally realize that they've already seen you cry and have seen you broken so you just close your eyes and just give in and lean on the comforting shoulder you're given to cry on. And after a moment you're holding the person like a life line.

This whole scene just hit close to home😭😭😭

IAN PANGILINAN you wonderful, WONDERFUL actor I wanna give all the awards!!!🥺

Your fifth most recent emoji is what your soulmate thinks about you

tagged by @kamwashere ❤❤

rules: tag people you want to get to know

three four five ships: tharn and type from tharntype, wei wuxian and lan wangji from untamed, yunlan and shen wei from guardian and of course my precious pangpang(karl and vlad) couple from GSP😍

last song: koilek by NINETY ONE

currently consuming: peanut butter

currently craving: chocolate cake🤤

currently reading: i got nothing lol😅

currently watching: haikyuu!!

tagging: @sirksj @loveisactivated @porpla

This might just be the best bl ever made...

 i’m not over Gaya sa Pelikula episode 5. the sheer layers of storytelling we have, and i know you all have pointed them out. long post incoming:

employed foreshadowing in the two horror stories and the events that later followed. from the story of the nurse seeing the cadaver in his own closet to the photo of a young Karl, now a grown man and so different from the child he was; and from the man looking at his own self holding his own heart, to Karl holding his own heart while looking at himself in the mirror. these are not horror stories – they are real. in the next episode, we will find the consequences of these actions.

used the brownout for honest stories. do we not tell our stories in the dark? queer people have long been used to telling stories in the dark. they do not dare to tell it under the sun, because stories like theirs are resented just for being. this drinking session in the dark, when no one is around and anyone else is out of earshot, that is when you release. this was beautiful, and cathartic.

anna is no plot device. she’s a beautiful, multilayered, flawed character. who would have thought anna is a mom? i know i’m surprised. and yet the writer did not leave her only to be a friend for comedic purposes. she was there to tell her own story. she has agency as a woman, and that’s really, really commendable. and you know what? Vlad even shines in this scene. women and queer people have long stood side by side, aware of their fundamental disadvantages in society. the feminist struggle is the root of the queer struggle, after all, and in this scene we zoom in on just how that takes form, even in the simplest of ways. just look at how Vlad immediately accepts anna’s story, and does not even judge her. 

the effortless gender sensitivity. the episode does its best to quash stigmas in the queer community itself. when Karl said, for instance, that In fairness, Vlad, you’re not obviously effeminate, Vlad was quick to correct him. this is a common microaggression against the queer community that unfortunately, many shows - BLs, even - fall prey to. god, this show. it is not only good plot-wise, but it is really sensitive. that is what is lacking in many, many BLs. shows shouldn’t be just for entertainment. they must advance change.  

from the dark, to the blinding light. the rather smooth transition from Karl having to teach Vlad and Vlad even stepping on Karl, with Karl taking the lead; and then, to the prom they had in their minds: beautiful, well-lit, but only for them. a dream come true for Vlad, for any queer person deprived of the simple joys like the privilege to dance. the hope of things getting better.

Karl rook the lead at first, but then Vlad took the lead. in the beginning, it was Karl who led the prom dance, yet when they donned the suits and danced in the light, the dance changed. Vlad now took the lead. it was as though, when Karl opened up to Vlad and practically told him, ‘it’s okay to be yourself with me,’ Vlad grew confident. He was free to express what he felt, share what he knew. note that during the transition, Vlad was at first surprised by the lights! he did not know that things could be so good for him and Karl, and yet they were. so he was so confident, leading Karl in the dance, to make Karl feel what he feels. he even said, “simplehan na lang natin (let’s make things simple),” because Vlad was gay since high school, and yet here we have Karl, who does not even know for himself who and what he is. and he even sang, ever so softly into Karl’s ears. as if to say, that’s okay. things are discovered, one step at a time.

in the end, karl was smiling. confused, but happy. holding his heart, beating so loud, karl does not know what to feel. is that not the experience of every queer person? to know that things are “different” from what you’ve been conditioned to believe? and yet the most confusing thing is that it feels good, and freeing, and warm. in the dark, when no one is around, he felt his heart, saw his own reflection, and even though he does not admit it yet, Karl knows he is happy.

i am just so overwhelmed by Gaya sa Pelikula. it is not only aesthetically beautiful, but is also filled with nuances that i am not afraid to look more into it. perhaps i have been too saturated with a lot of just fun, but really nonsensical BLs, that i almost forgot that that shouldn’t be the standard. instead, we deserve those that truly cater to our needs, tell our stories, and make a shot for the better. to be sure, gaya sa pelikula was written by a queer screenplay writer himself. which makes us all the more hopeful for more stories told by queer people, for queer people.

Gaya sa Pelikula does what others are not doing. and so much more.

there are three more episodes, but i have no doubt that it will turn out excellent, far exceeding yet again my already high expectations. what a good show.

in the aftermath of episode 5, i hark back to what juan miguel severo, the show’s writer and producer, had promised: “We will take back our story!” and, indeed,  in this show, he shows that he already has.

LET THE GAYS BE HAPPY DAMMIT!!!😤😭

15x18 - Despair

They are so evil🤣! I dont know if I should thank them or not tbh cause on one hand they gave us EVERYTHING just to take it away at the last FREAKING moment but on the other that scene made it even more magical😍

video trans: cr.

Direk JP: “Lights… They’re about to touch, where are the lights?” (lights finally turns on) *laughs* Okay, cut.