Lexi Got More Self Control Than Me Cuz The Minute Fez Holds My Hand I Woulda Been Sucking The Soul Outta

lexi got more self control than me cuz the minute fez holds my hand i woulda been sucking the soul outta that man !!!!

Truth or Dare- Part 7

Pairing: Elliot (Euphoria) x Reader

Summary: The reader joins a game of truth or dare with the trio, still shaken from what happened at home. Elliot keeps a keen, worried eye on her the whole night. Jules gets put in her place in a pretty brutal way and the sleepover turns to a trip down memory lane, Elliot and the reader staying up late to talk.

Song: "Little More" by Catie Turner

Warnings: Swearing, angst, overall happy ending.

Word Count: 3.1k

A/N: I really loved writing this part even though I liked cranked this out. THIS CHAPTER IS TENSE FOR THE MOST PART. I tried to stay focused and not side track since I have a SHIT ton to do today.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4* Part 5 Part 6

I sit in Elliot’s lap, his arms protectively around me as I sniffle, the sleeves of his sweatshirt rising to wipe my eyes. Jules and Rue look between the two of us with skeptical eyes, wondering why I’m crying and what caused the sudden shift between the boy and I, not understanding why we’re so close all of a sudden. Elliot directs their attention elsewhere, the truth or dare game that’s continued on for the last few hours keeping my eyes open and my mind alert.

I wanted nothing more than to just lay in Elliot’s arms, to close my eyes and fall asleep safely. He was worried about me, I could tell from his wandering eyes and concerned questions. He had to have asked me eleven times within the first twenty minutes being here if I was alright or not. I just couldn’t stop reeling over my dad's words, his text, if my brother was okay, where he was.

I had a million thoughts going through my head at once. Like, what was my mother doing right now? Was she awake, crying and mourning for her marriage? For her kids? Or was she sound asleep knowing that this incident was bound to happen either way. I felt a bit betrayed by her but I know that this was hardest on her of all people. It’s obvious that my father blamed her for getting pregnant with Aaron. If she would’ve never gotten pregnant, maybe my dad would be with a man and be happy. But that would mean that Nate and I wouldn’t even exist.

Would it have been better?

“Y/n, truth or dare?” Rue asks, sliding the sunglasses low on her face as she spins around in the chair, a small, doped out smile on her lips. I think for a moment, taking a deep breath as Elliot’s fingers gently play with the sleeve of my shirt.

“Truth.” My voice is meek as it comes out, it being the first word that I've spoken since I got that text from my dad. Rue watches me intently, looking between Elliot and I with a concentrated look.

“Are you fucking Elliot?” She asks, Jules’ head whipping to look at her girlfriend with wide eyes. I can understand why they’d think that. The proximity, the worry, the way he looked at me. We were obvious that there was a bit more than friendship to our relationship.

“No, Rue. We’re not fucking.” Elliot responds simply, his chin resting on the top of my head as I huff, my knees folding to my chest. Rue gives us an unconvinced look, her head shaking with a scoff.

“See, you guys forget that I’m like a fucking genius.” Rue chuckles, sitting up straighter in her chair as Jules pouts in the corner. My eyes rake over her, my eyebrows pulled together in confusion at her pathetic exterior. Is she really pouting? Now? Suck it up, you cunt. “You’re all touchy feely a-and Elliot, this is the most serious I’ve ever seen you. Like what the fuck is going on.” Rue asks, her hands flying as she speaks, a soft tired laugh leaving my lips.

“She’s had a rough night, RuRu. I told you not to fucking pry.” Elliot grits, a smile on my lips as he stands up for me, obviously not caring what people think. Rue backs down, her hands raising in surrender with a shrug.

“I’m just saying. There’s something you guys aren’t telling us.” Rue huffs, flopping back into the chair as we all look at Jules, her silence pissing me off at this point.

“I’m sure there’s a lot of things not shared in this room right now.” I snap, my gaze set on Jules as Rue’s eyebrows pull together, wondering what exactIy I mean by that. Jules’ eyes flicker up to me, her face falling pitifully as her gaze shifts to the man behind me. The weight in the room shifts to a tense anxiety, the need to stand up to Jules, to shove it down her throat that I’m the one in Elliot’s arms tempting me.

“There seems like a lot to unpack there.” Rue laughs, oblivious to the tense gaze that Jules and I share. She obviously didn’t tell Rue about the kiss that Jules and Elliot shared- or should I say, the time that Jules shoved her tongue down Elliot’s throat without his permission. She also didn’t tell Rue about the fact that I slapped her in front of a room full of people. Something that I’m still proud of to this day.

“It’s my turn.” I huff, shifting the attention back to the game. But if Jules kept up this tough, pitiful exterior, I was not going to hold back. Rue didn’t deserve a partner who was obviously cheating on her. Emotionally and physically. It made me sick. I get that Rue is by no means the perfect girlfriend, her ongoing drug issue being hidden from her blonde partner. They both had secrets. But one was not my business and the other involved the man that I’m in love with. That was personal. “Jules,” I pause, Elliot tensing behind me as her eyes widen, looking up at me with a scared look, “who was the last person you kissed?” I ask, tilting my head at her as I watch her body shake, Rue looking between us with a confused look.

“Uh, Rue, obviously.” She chuckles nervously, looking at her girlfriend with a soft smile. Mhm, bullshit. Elliot’s hands rest on my stomach, a small laugh rumbling in his chest at my pettiness. I feel his lips against the shell of my ear, a shiver running down my spine.

“Behave.” He whispers, pinching my side as I giggle, rolling my eyes in defiance. Jules huffs as she sits up, her eyes locked on Elliot behind me. I applaud her ballsiness for even looking at him with me in the same room. With her girlfriend in the same room. She has cartoon heart eyes for the handsome boy, but his eyes were not on her, nope, they were on me.

As they should be.

“Elliot, truth or dare.” She asks with a smug smile, my eyes rolling as I rest my head against Elliot’s shoulder, closing my eyes. Can I slap her again?

“Truth.” He sighs, playing it safe. He knows her, he knows that she wanted every reason in the book to kiss him again, to prove me wrong that he wanted to kiss her. She obviously knew of my feelings for him but she just didn’t care. Where’s girl code when you need it? Elliot’s chest is hard behind me, his breathing stuttering as he waits, knowing that if Jules asks the wrong thing that I would flip and she would not like it. I had put up with enough shit today between my family and now her. I could handle her though, put her in her place in a moment's notice.

“Who would you kiss in the room right now if you could?” She asks, her eyes flickering to me as my eyebrows tick up. She knew that I knew about them kissing. She knows that he told me, that he told me everything. Why was she proud of that? Why was she proud about cheating on Rue? Was it fun for her, did she just like the rush and chase? The secrecy? Before I can reply, Elliot gives me a gentle squeeze. He lets out an aggravated sigh as he shakes his head.

“Obviously Y/n since she’s the only single one in this room. And among other reasons.” Elliot chuckles and my cheeks heat up, my head rolling to look away from Rue’s prying, intrigued eyes. She knows that there’s something going on with us and the fact that she’s so excited about it is so cute. She deserves better. “Jules, can I ask why the fuck you’re so interested in my lips and who they kiss?” Elliot asks, Jules stuttering a bit as she fumbles through her brain for an answer. “Like seriously, it’s genuinely fucking weird. If you wanna kiss someone so badly, kiss your girlfriend.” I smile proudly as Jules gets up, marching out of the room, her eyes filled with tears. I hear the bathroom door slam as I scoff, Rue looking back at the bathroom door with a sigh. “Rue, I think your girlfriend has some things that she’s not telling you.” Elliot adds, my heart pounding in my chest as I look up at him, his face stoic and jaw tight.

“I don’t think she meant it when she said she wasn’t interested in men anymore, hun. Unless Elliot is that exception.” I explain, the sunglasses falling off her nose as her expression drops, a small pout on her lips as she nods.

“Yeah…” Rue trails off, her reaction taking me off guard. Did she know or suspect something already? “I was excited that you guys were getting closer cuz maybe she’d drop whatever she feels for you, Elly.” Rue frowns sadly, her feet dropping to the floor as she bites the inside of her cheek. “Thanks for letting me know.” She smiles sadly at us, both of our heads nodding as she turns. “Just tell her I went home. Kick her the fuck out for all I care.” Rue mutters as she walks away, leaving the room as I frown. I turn back to Elliot quickly as I pout, suddenly feeling terrible that she knew and we solidified the knowledge that her girlfriend was cheating on her. Fuck. Elliot reaches up, cupping my cheeks as he notices my dismay.

“She knew. You didn’t do anything wrong.” He whispers, gently pressing a kiss between my eyebrows as I nod. “You wanna kick Jules out or you want me to handle it?” He asks with a deep breath, anger bubbling in my belly at the mention of the blonde who opens the bathroom door behind me. I turn to her with a frown, my head tilting at her. She looks around the room, her face falling as she sees that Rue left. I watch as multiple emotions pass through her face, betrayal, guilt, sadness.

“You can leave now.” I add, her eyes widening as she looks at Elliot, shaking her head with a dropped jaw.

“It’s not even your house, Y/n-” She scoffs, waiting for Elliot to confirm but he simply shrugs, cutting her off.

“You can leave now, Jules.” He repeats, her eyes blinking rapidly as she stares at the two of us, shocked. “I’m not the group boyfriend. And I’m not gonna help you cheat on your girlfriend just cuz you’re confused.” Elliot explains as Jules gathers her things with loud sniffles, my heart pounding against my chest as I find the words I’ve wanted to say for weeks.

“Also, find someone else if you wanna ruin your relationship. Elliot’s too busy for that shit now.” I hiss, Jules not sparing a glance at me as she stomps out of the room, his bedroom door slamming as she makes her way out of Elliot’s house.

Relief falls on my shoulders as I let out a sigh, happy to just have her gone and happy that Rue knows. That they both know that Elliot and I were kind of together though we haven’t exactly specified that yet.

Silence falls around us as my back stays firmly pressed against Elliot’s chest, his cheek resting on the top of my head. I rub circles into his forearm that rests around my waist, a small smile on my lips as I listen to him breathe.

“That was like a really hot, vague way to tell her I’m taken.” He snorts suddenly, a laugh leaving my lips as I shake my head playfully. He spins me around in his arms, his hands resting on my lower back. I shift so I can wrap my legs around his waist, a small huff leaving my lips.

“Are you taken?” I ask quietly, my fingers playing with the strings on his sweatpants. He watches me with soft eyes, his hands rubbing up and down my back as he hums gently.

“I don’t know, am I?” He asks in return, a shy smile on my face as my cheeks warm, suddenly feeling exposed under his gaze. He nudges his nose against mine as I giggle, my head bobbing in a nod. “Wow, I didn’t even know that, it’s so crazy that I’m taken- oh my god, should I change my status on social med-” I shove him with a playful giggle, our backs hitting the bed as I curl up in a ball beside him. He watches me with soft eyes, his fingers intertwining with mine in between us. “I’m okay with being taken. Are you?” He quizzes playfully, my bottom lip tucked between my teeth as I huge the ridiculous grin that wants to seep through.

“Yeah, that’s cool with me.” I whisper, watching as he rolls over onto his side, his hand splaying against my thigh between us. My breath gets caught in my throat at the proximity, the weight that’s been on my chest finally brushing off as I relax into his sheets. “I missed having sleepovers with you.” I whisper, my fingers playing with his.

“Yeah? What did you miss?” He asks with an enamored gaze, his eyes flickering over my face as if he wanted to memorize everything about me. “You miss me stealing blankets, uh, or the fact that I’d wake up with you literally smothering me?” He teases, my eyes rolling as I think back a few years.

“I just liked when you’d come to sleepover at my house and we’d wake up super late and my mom would make us breakfast.” I whisper with a shrug, the mention of my family making me sad. “I just missed everything about you for all those years. I felt like a legit piece of me was missing.” I huff, my eyes avoiding his as he scoots closer to me. He wraps an arm around my waist, pulling me closer to him as my chin cranes up to look up at him.

“No matter how mad I was at you, or how mad I seemed, it was all because I knew I was gonna miss you so fucking much.” He whispers, our legs tangling together as I grin, his hand rubbing my waist softly. “Like, I couldn’t even think about seeing you occasionally because I would just want to stay with you forever. That's why I just dropped everything.” He explains, my head bobbing in a quiet nod as he goes on. “But everything just fell apart without you, bug.” He whispers, his hand reaching up to cup my cheek. “Fuck, I failed like three classes, I lost like ten pounds cuz I couldn’t even eat. I would sit in front of the phone just staring at it like an idiot.” He chuckles, shaking his head with a laugh. The thought of young Elliot being so torn up over me makes my heart break, my hands reaching out to rest on his chest. “When my cousin mentioned moving, her mind went here first. I think she knew where your family moved.” I grin at the thought, marking it in my mind to thank her later for doing me this solid. “And then I saw you that day and I felt like such a fucking jackass.” He whispers, his thumb brushing against my cheek as I pout. “I can’t stop and will not stop apologizing for that.” He scoffs sadly, pressing a kiss to my cheek as I chuckle.

“Good, you dickhead.” I giggle, his jaw dropping in a shocked smile. I wrap my arms firmly around his neck as he sighs, his nose nudging mine as my heart beats wildly. “So, I’m not drunk right now and I don’t think you are either…” I trail off, remembering his words from the party when he left me hanging. His eyebrows raise teasingly as he chuckles, his eyes flickering between mine and my lips.

“Yeah? You know, now that I’m taken, I think it’s important to say that I don’t think my girlfriend would like me kissing someone else.” He teases, my eyes rolling with a giggle. My heart stops at the term girlfriend, not thinking I’d ever hear those words come out of his mouth when referring to me.

“I think your girlfriend is pretty cool and I think she’d be perfectly fine with you kissing me, Elly.” I laugh quietly, my fingers running through his tangling hair as he nods, his eyes soft as he looks at my lips.

“Yeah, you’re right, she’s pretty fucking amazing.” He whispers, leaning forward to gently press his lips against mine. I gasp at the feeling, my heart swelling in my chest as he pulls me tighter to him. The kiss is tentative and shy at first, not kissing each other in years. It was definitely different and he definitely had some idea of what he was doing compared to a few years ago.

Parting my lips, the kiss deepens quickly as the wait finally ends, the kiss growing needier by the second. He slides on top of me, not disconnecting his lips from mine as I sigh quietly, my head tilting as he does the same. His hands are everywhere, my hips, waist, face, anywhere that he can touch. I cup his cheeks in my hands, the skin heated under my touch as he pulls away, his forehead resting against mine. Breathless gasps are shared between us, a huge smile on my lips as he laughs. His head falls to my shoulder as he giggles, both of us feeling bashful and embarrassed as the room grows quiet.

“I’m not gonna lie. Some things don’t change.” He whispers, my eyebrows pulling together as his gaze shifts downwards, an obvious tent in his pants as I gasp. Reaching up, I cover my face as he slides off of me, my giggles probably being heard from down the street. “I’ll be back, don’t fucking move!” He yells over his shoulder as the bathroom door shuts, tears pricking my eyes as my laughter dies down. This fucking kid will be the death of me.

Reaching over to grab my phone, I yawn at the sight of three in the morning, my eyes fluttering shut briefly. Waking myself up a bit, I find Nate’s contact, deciding to share the good news and check in on him.

To Nate: I just kissed Elliot.

I giggle at the words, them feeling unreal to me as my mind goes over the last fifteen minutes. Elliot and I are dating, together, a couple. It’s something that younger me prayed over, wished for on birthday candles for, wished on 11:11 for, anything that could give me hope that we would be together one day. My phone buzzes on my chest, two messages from Nate coming through.

From Nate Good for you, kid, I’m proud of you.

Now go to fucking bed, you woke my ass up.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Taglist: @bubblebuttwade @rafelover2405 @leslienjazzy @sorceresss @grxnde-dwt @alex--awesome--22 @bunnietoof @niyamar1e @serialghost @plantlungs @geniusohn @akaliltimmytim @lilaalouuxx @xshariex @elliotsbeigeguitar @elle4404 @lelieja @srhxpci @joselyn001 @taysirene @spinkspanther @thedivineuphoria @peter-maximoffs @tsukishimawhore @poohkie90 @szlaco @distantsighs @nstyles4299 @wolflover384 @givemefoodandlovesstuff @vane28282 @yeswhatever33 @amirrahfranson @vvaalleennttiinna @f-mu @yaspillz @jeyramarie @skylievin@abbybarnes17 @jointherebellion215 @visiondaddy @steezysimfinds @its-ya-gay-boi-luigi @crunchytoenailsyum@glizzymcguirex @beth123lg @melovesmut @rafecameronswhore @ariianelle @write-from-the-heart @vampviolets

Euphoria Taglist:@ssprayberrythings @username-lols

Elliot Taglist: @vintagebitc

Truth or Dare Taglist: @4lyssasworld @jamespotterswifey @daddydraco0 @soobzao @c1rcusl1ght @kaitieskidmore1 @applebree2001 @ritadiniss @lselnerys

Taehyung with Lady Gaga.

he’s such a social butterfly :)

paint me naked 🎨 ten

DOMINIC FIKE chicken tenders

Truth or Dare- Part 9

Pairing: Elliot (Euphoria) x Reader

Summary: At the hospital, the reader and Elliot's cousin rekindle their relationship while the reader learns some crucial about Elliot's ongoing struggle. It finally comes out to Rue and Jules that Elliot and the reader have known each other longer than they both led on.

Song: "Talk Me Down" by Troye Sivan

Warnings: Swearing, heavy talk of drugs and overdose, angst.

Word Count: 2.8k

A/n: Btw, I named Elliot's cousin Ana, I don't know why. This part was very difficult for me to write but I've been hearing all of your pleas for the next part so here it is. I've been on both sides of this situation and my cousin recently OD'd, so please be kind.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4* Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8

My shoes slap against the tile of the emergency room department, tears streaming down my cheeks as people stare at me, concerned. Maddy follows closely behind me, her hand on my lower back as she directs me in the way of the hospital check in, hoping to find out more information of what happened. My mind spins as we approach the desk, the woman behind the desk looking to me as I sob, Maddy taking over the job of trying to find where Elliot would be.

My ears tune into every beeping around me, the cries of people in the waiting room, the sounds of doctors and nurses talking. My senses are completely overstimulated, my hand gripping onto Maddy’s as my eyes flutter shut. The situation felt too terrible to deal with, my heart throbbing in my chest as my legs wobble beneath me.

I grab my chest as I painfully cry, tucking myself into Maddy as she holds me, gathering the direction to the Intensive Care Unit from the worker behind the desk.

I could feel eyes on me, worried glances and hushed whispers but I couldn’t seem to care. The only thing I cared about was finding Elliot and making sure he was alive. Maddy rubs my back as she tugs me with her, her gentle coos in my ear as she wraps an arm around my shoulder.

“We’re gonna go find him, it’ll be okay.” She whispers, my chest aching as I look around, watching as Maddy presses the button for the elevator. As we wait, she gently cups my teary cheeks in her hands, her eyes flickering back and forth between mine. “He’ll be okay.” She whispers, her voice sturdy and sound and, if I wasn’t dying inside, I would’ve believed her.

When we step out onto the ICU floor, my heart immediately drops at the quietness. It was still and sound, the nurses all sitting at the desk in the middle of all of the rooms lined against the walls. My eyes flicker around for anyone familiar, knowing I would see his cousin, Ana, and that I would also see Jules and Rue, getting their texts shortly after the call from Ana. When we step up to the counter, the woman turns to look at us with a sad smile once she sees me.

“Name?” She asks quietly, looking at Maddy after my lack of response. I cover my face as the words refuse to leave my throat, listening to Maddy give her Elliot’s information while rubbing my back. “What’s your relationship to the patient, honey?” The nurse asks me, my eyebrows pulling together as my stomach sinks.

“She’s his girlfriend. His cousin, Ana, is here somewhere and she could tell you that.” Maddy answers for me, the nurse nodding as she sighs, the thought of me not being able to see him because I’m not family tearing me apart. “Please, ma’am. We rushed all the way here, she’s really fucking worried.” Maddy whispers, her nails tapping on the counter as the nurse takes a look around, hesitating.

“As long as you find his cousin, you can go in to see him. I’ll write on the pass that you’re his sister.” The nurse whispers lowly, my tense frame relaxing in brief relief at the knowledge that I would get to see him, to hold his hand. “I just want you to prepare yourself honey…” The nurse trails off, my gaze snapping back to her as she continues. “He has a breathing tube in and he’s gonna look not like himself, alright? The doctor will be down to explain the extent of his trauma but I just want you to be ready, okay?” She warns, her gaze softs as I nod, small hiccups leaving my throat as I take the visitor pass from her. The nurse gives Maddy a brief rundown on where the waiting room is and where can most likely find Ana. Maddy guides me away from the desk, my head craning once more to send the helpful nurse another smile before following Maddy.

“See, we’re gonna go find his cousin and you’re gonna go see him.” She whispers, squeezing my hand in hers as I nod, wiping my eyes with the sleeves of my shirt. “Would you be able to recognize his cousin after all this time?” Maddy asks me, my head tilting to look at her as I nod, nervous at the thought of seeing her after all this time. It had been years, both Elliot and I changing in many ways, so I can only imagine how much she’s changed.

When we reach the waiting room, my eyes immediately latch onto Ana’s. I also notice Rue and Jules sitting next to her, both of their cheeks red and eyes teary. Ana stands almost immediately, my hand detaching from Maddy’s to rush up to her. I let out a loud sob as I hug her, gaining some looks from Jules and Rue. I knew then that it would have to come out today that Elliot and I’ve known each other for a long time. That we were lying to them.

“I’m so sorry, Ana.” I cry, my eyes fluttering shut as she squeezes me tightly, a soft gasp leaving her lips as she shakes her head.

“You didn’t know. I didn’t know he was still doing drugs.” She cries, my heart stopping at the words. It didn’t occur to me until now that he overdosed on drugs. I assumed at first that maybe he had just been suffering that much mentally but the thought of it being an accidental overdose somehow made it even worse. My mind just skipped over that part, just wanting to get to the hospital to see him and be with him. Was he doing drugs? “Oh my god, you didn’t know at all did you?” Ana pulls back, her hands cupping my cheeks as I shake my head, my lips in a pout. “Oh honey, we’ve got a lot to talk about.” She whispers, her fingers dragging through my hair gently as she leads me back towards the chairs.

That’s when she explained to Maddy, Rue, Jules and I that Elliot had struggled for years with substance abuse and addiction. It started off small, weed mostly and cigarettes, but then his hunger to feel that high grew more. He started taking pills, buying off of friends that he met on the internet. Anywhere that he could get them, he would give anything to take them.

She thought that he had stopped by the time they moved here. He was less agitated and he was more on top of things which Ana realized wasn’t because he was off drugs, it was because he had found me again. That I became distracting enough to him that he didn’t feel the need to touch any type of drugs.

So what could’ve possibly led to him taking so many drugs that his body just couldn’t handle it.

Ana told us that it was heroin and that it was definitely accidental, that he wasn’t trying to kill himself. She explained that the doctor said that she still wanted Elliot to see a therapist when he woke up and that the likelihood that he would be okay was looking good for now. The next twenty four hours would be the most important in his recovery. They didn’t know if there was any damage to his brain, just knowing that his vitals were okay and we would have to wait to see about any cognitive issues until he wakes up.

“Do you want to go see him for a minute?” Ana asks, her hands tightly clasping mine as I sniffle, nodding my head as she hums quietly. “Alright, we’ll be back.” I send Maddy a thankful look, a small smile being sent back to me as I follow Ana down the hallway. “He looks fucking terrifying, I’m gonna be honest. If it’s too much, we can go and we don’t have to stay.” She whispers, her wrap wrapping around my shoulders to pull me into her side. “I missed you, kid. I know he did too.” She presses a kiss to my temple, a soft smile on my tired face.

When we reach the room, the doctor is walking out, a small smile on his lips as he sees us.

“Hi, ladies.” He huffs, his hands shoving into his pockets as I look back and forth between the two of them. “Is it alright if I give an update in front of her?” The doctor motions to me, Ana quickly waving away any worry, urging him on. “He seems to be okay. I think that we should keep him sedated overnight and give his body some time to recover. Heroin does a lot on the system so we’ll give him fluids and some IV nutrition. But I’m hopeful that we can remove the breathing tube in the morning and wake him up slowly. I think if he was awake right now, he’d be breathing over it on his own so…” He trails off, the knowledge that they have him medically sedated helping my worried thoughts. At least he was just sleeping and comfortable. “He’ll be really disoriented when he wakes up and probably won’t remember anything. It’s up to you what you guys want to tell him but I think it’s important that he doesn’t leave until we get a psychological evaluation on him.” Ana and the doctor continue to talk, my eyes flickering past him to look at the frail boy who lays in the bed.

The breathing tube is exactly how the nurse described it. It’s overwhelming to see him in this state, his eyes closed, his lashes resting beautifully on his cheeks. Even in the hectic room, the bright monitors and the loud beeping, he looks utterly peaceful and calm. Only he could look this good in this situation. His hands rest at his sides, my own wanting to just reach out and to never let go of him.

Making my way by them silently, I open the door to the room with a quiet gasp. Tears leave my eyes as I listen to the forced sound of him breathing, my frame falling down into the chair next to the bed. I immediately take his cold hand in mine, his nails still covered in the polish that I used just the night before. My head leans down to rest next to his hip, my lips pressing against the top of his hand.

“I love you.” I whisper, my eyes fluttering shut as I just take in his presence, knowing that he’s okay and that he’s going to be okay. That, if I just gave it time- him time- that he would soon be in my arms again. I would never want to let him go once I had him again.

After a few hours, the nurses told Ana and I that visiting hours were up and that we could come back as soon as the sun rose the next morning. My eyes are tired, my body feeling exhausted as I step out of his room, giving him one last glance. Ana takes my hand in hers as we make our way towards the waiting room, Maddy, Rue and Jules all tucked up on their chairs. It made my heart swell to see Maddy was still here, knowing that she wouldn’t leave until she knew I was okay.

Maddy perks up when she sees me, stretching her arms out as she sits up. Jules and Rue do the same, both looking up at us for an update. I can’t stand to look at Jules, my gaze on the floor as Ana fills them in.

“He’ll be okay. They want to take the tube out tomorrow and wake him up slowly.” She sums up, the girls all nodding their heads in relief, quiet, tired sighs leaving their lips. “Hopefully they’ll move him out of the ICU tomorrow so you guys can see him.” Ana places her hands on her hips, letting out a sigh as she nudges me. “You gonna be alright?” She asks, my head bobbing in a hesitant nod as she smiles sadly. “Call me whenever you need me. I'm always here for you. You’ve always known that since you were a kid.” She whispers, my arms reaching around her waist to pull her into another hug. “I’ll see you in the morning, okay? I’ll come pick you up if you need.” She offers and I just hum simply in acknowledgement as she pulls away. I couldn't find anymore words to say to her, just feeling bad that she was in this position right now. I know I loved him but she practically raised him. She sends small smiles and waves to the girls around me, all of them standing up. Maddy wraps an arm around my waist, her head resting on my shoulder with a huff.

“Can you explain what’s going on?” Jules asks suddenly, tears in her eyes as she finally snaps. She looked visibly angry, Rue sending me a sorry look at Jules’ tone. “Like, why does she fucking know you? Why are you so fucking upset about this like, even if you guys are together, you haven’t even been together that long? So what the fuck is happening?” She hisses, my body stumbling back a bit at her chastising. Who does she think she is? Maddy doesn’t let me respond, holding a hand up to Jules as she grows even more angry than the blonde in front of me.

“I’m sorry. You don’t get to talk to her like that after the fucking day she’s had.” Maddy snaps, tears leaving my eyes as I think of how to explain to them that I’ve been lying- we’ve been lying. “You don’t know anything about her and Elliot and if she wanted to tell you, she would have. But she doesn’t owe you jack shit.” I clear my throat loudly, stopping the argument before it can get any worse. Maddy sends me a reassuring nod as I look at Jules who looks like a kicked puppy.

“Elliot and I have been best friends since we were in elementary school. Before I moved here, I lived around the corner from him. We were best friends, childhood sweethearts- whatever. We had a big fight over me moving and I didn’t see or talk to him for years.” I let out a loud huff, watching as Rue nods, everything finally being pieced together in her mind. “He moved here and everything just fell together. I’ve loved him since I was little and, like Maddy said, I owe you nothing, Jules. If you’re in love with my boyfriend, great, but don’t invalidate my feelings to make yourself seem more important.” All of my words are calm and steady, my eyes not leaving hers as she shrinks in embarrassment. “When I show up tomorrow, you better not fucking be here or so help me god, I’m calling security to have you removed. You can see him if he wants to see you when he wakes up. But I will not let you get in the way of his recovery and mine and Ana's time with him.” I conclude, my gaze shifting from her to Rue who just sends me a small smile. “Thank you for coming Rue, I’ll tell him know you were here.” I whisper, reaching out to take her hand gently in mine. She just nods simply, ignoring the looks that Jules is giving us. She squeezes my hand gently, before letting it drop to my side. I turn my body towards Maddy, her eyes gleaming with pride as she looks up at me. “I’m gonna call Nate to come pick me up, alright? I need to go home and sleep.” I let out a sigh, running my fingers through my messy hair as she takes my hand in hers, her soft eyes flickering back and forth between mine.

“You call me if you need anything.” She whispers, my bottom lip wobbling as I nod, wrapping my arms around her small frame. She hugs me tightly, a small sigh leaving her pretty lips. “I’m happy you got to see him.” Me too. Pulling away from her, I send Rue one more thankful look before backing away from the three of them, knowing if Jules decides to go on with her bullshit that Maddy would put her in her place.

Tears fall onto the screen of my phone as I dial out Nate’s number, knowing that he would jump at the sound of my sad, tired voice. Pressing the phone to my ear as I enter the elevator, he answers after a few rings.

“What’s up, kid?” He asks, my heart breaking at the sound of his voice. A few beats go by, only my sniffles heard from his end. “It’s late, are you okay?” He questions once more, a small shuttered sigh leaving my lips as I huff. “Fuck, Y/n…” He trails off, knowing that something bad must’ve happened to render me completely speechless. “Text me the address. I’m on my way, just hold on.”

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