"So That He Felt Not Only No Joy, But Not Even The Least Bit Of Satisfaction. What He Had Always Longed

"So that he felt not only no joy, but not even the least bit of satisfaction. What he had always longed for that other people should love him became at the moment of his achievement unbearable, because he did not love them himself, he hated them. And suddenly he knew that he had never found gratification in love, but always only in hatred ,in hating and in being hated."

“أنا مُنعَزِل دائِمًا حَتّى وإن خالطت النَّاس، لَمْ أشعُر ولو لمَرَّة واحِدة أنّي كُنت مَعهم بشَكل كامِل وحَقيقي.”

—

عمري ما كنت اتخيل ان يجي اليوم اللي الانطباع الاول عند الناس عني يكون اني رخمة، تنكة، كئيبة! كنت ديماً البنت البشوشة بزيادة اللي بتهزر مع كل الناس اللي الناس كلها بتحبها من غير ما حتى يتعاملوا معاها، انا نفسي مبقتش عرفاني!

My day in Adʿiyah