"So That He Felt Not Only No Joy, But Not Even The Least Bit Of Satisfaction. What He Had Always Longed

"So that he felt not only no joy, but not even the least bit of satisfaction. What he had always longed for that other people should love him became at the moment of his achievement unbearable, because he did not love them himself, he hated them. And suddenly he knew that he had never found gratification in love, but always only in hatred ,in hating and in being hated."

“أنا مُنعَزِل دائِمًا حَتّى وإن خالطت النَّاس، لَمْ أشعُر ولو لمَرَّة واحِدة أنّي كُنت مَعهم بشَكل كامِل وحَقيقي.”

—

“I can’t exactly describe how I feel but it’s not quite right. And it leaves me cold.”

— F. Scott Fitzgerald