Mildvalue506 - Jason Todd's Left Tit - Tumblr Blog

Glamrock Freddy: Has anyone seen my boyfriend?? Has anybody seen Bonnie??

Gregory: What does he look like?

Glamrock Freddy, sobbing: Beautiful!

Supportive friends

fifth wheel

Now Monty can follow in his footsteps 🍑❤️

the animatronics do get a bit quirky at night……

Glamrock Freddy: Hello, my name is Freddy. And you are?

Glamrock Bonnie, sighing dreamily: In love.

Optimothy-Prime ajdjdkjajdkdjlaldkdkdjd

bruce has always insisted the kids be their own person but does he ever full name them & why (im talking the whole works hyphenated wayne) 👀

Bruce: Ridiculous Johnathan Robin Nightwing Grayson-Wayne, tell your speedster to stop eating the frozen pizza.

Dick: Stoooop you're embarrassing me in front of my friends.

~

Jason: Fuck.

Bruce: Jasonus Peter-Pan Robin the second Red Hood Todd-Wayne, go wash your mouth with soap.

~

Tim: *uses the Batcomputer for movies again.

Bruce: What did I say about using multimillion-dollar technology for movies, Optimothy-Prime Jacksonville Robin the third Red Robin Duckboy Drake-Wayne?

~

Cass: *sneaks in after curfew*

Bruce: *flicks the light on*

Bruce: Casserole Wu-San Batgirl the third Black Bat Orphan Cain-Wayne, where were you?

~

Duke: *surfs down the stairs and almost gets hurt*

Bruce: I told you that would happen, Dukensington Marlon-Brando We Are Robin Lark Signal Thomas-Wayne.

~

Damian: *pranks all his siblings in their sleep*

Bruce:

Dick, covered in shaving cream: Well, aren't you gonna full name him?

Bruce: No.

Jason, spitting out feathers: Why the hell not?

Bruce: Did he do something?

Cass: *points to Duke's face paint*

Duke: *points to Cass's yellow hair*

Bruce, sighing: Damian, please don't do that again.

Tim, soaking wet: Youngest sibling privilege. It exists, I tell you.

damian calls tim a spineless coward (affectionately) and tim says “its ‘spleen’less coward, actually”

Tim: What if I got a rubber spleen to match your metal spine?

Damian: ...Die (affectionate).

what are the Batfam's random allergies?

Dick: blue food coloring

Jason: red food coloring

Tim: caffeine

Damian: feathers

Duke: pineapples

Cullen: goat milk

Stephanie: gelatin

Cassandra: alcohol

Barbara: asparagus

Harper: sawdust

Carrie: mosquito bites

Kate: pleather

Alfred: beans

Selina: cranberries

Bruce: bat fur

not that any of them care

Duke texting Jason: you’re gonna love this, “Use this 3-word response when someone is rude to you, says Harvard-trained etiquette expert cnb.cx/3AAj2Vg”

Jason: i was gonna make a joke about "Harvard-trained etiquette expert" but the phrase they are advocating for here is "are you okay?" which is honestly an ice cold response to receiving disrespect and i support it

Tim: You're pulling a Tim Drake.

Bruce: Posting my brother's credit card number on Reddit because he said I looked tired?

Tim, laughing: I forgot I did that.

Photo found of the world's most casual batman fan

Jason, while cleaning the carpet: I think of each stain as Bruce.

Jason, looking at a stain: THIS IS FOR NOT KILLING THE JOKER TO AVENGE ME!

Jason: *scrubs furiously*

Bruce: What if I implement a No Pets policy in the house?

Damian: Well, hell, Father, you can't throw Drake out like that.

Jason, to Bruce: Bruce has no idea I’m high.

Bruce: You’re high?

Jason: Oh, sorry.

Jason: *turns to Dick*

Jason: Bruce has no idea I’m high.

Duke: Every time I see a post about updog I’m torn between not wanting to fall for it and wanting to help the poster complete the joke.

Bruce: Okay, but what’s updog?

Cullen: Updog is a long sausage in a bun often served with ketchup, mustard, onion, and/or relish.

Stephanie: No, that’s a hot dog. An updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released.

Barbara: You’re thinking of an update. Updog is when you end a sentence with a rising intonation.

Jason: No, that’s uptalk. You’re thinking of the fourth-largest city in Sweden.

Damian: Surely that’s Uppsala. Updog is a symbol conventionally used for an arbitrarily small number in analysis proofs.

Tim: You’re thinking of epsilon. Updog is an upward-moving air current.

Harper: No, that’s an updraft. Updog isn’t a noun at all, it’s a verb; it basically means to chew someone out or lecture them.

Kate: No, that’s an upbraid. An updog is a small dog that likes cuddling on people’s laps.

Carrie: No, that’s a puppy dog. An updog is when Metropolis wins.

Dick: No, that’s an upset. An updog is a modern version of a henway.

Bruce: What’s a henway?

Alfred: Oh, about five pounds.

Cassandra: GOTTEM!

Tim: We shouldn’t have come! I knew it, we shouldn’t have come.

Jason: We had to! There’s safety in numbers.

Tim: Well, there’s also death in numbers, Jason——it’s called a massacre!

rank the kids from "would destroy the batmobile in less than 10 minutes if left alone" to "Bruce wouldn't notice for 2 weeks if you took it for a joyride"

Canonically can't drive – Cassandra

Can drive but can't operate the controls – Duke

He's 3 feet tall, that's a fender bender waiting to happen – Damian

Promptly returned it because he felt bad – Cullen

She's 13 – Carrie

Failed her driving test so many times the DMV just gave her a license so she'd stop bothering them – Stephanie

Tried to pull a quick one as an only child so as punishment he's no longer an only child – Dick

Could pilot it remotely while borrowing her neighbor's WiFi – Barbara

Made it halfway to Central City before getting a ticket – Harper

Slowly stole the parts and reassembled it somewhere else, waiting for the opportunity to pull up next to Bruce with his second secret Batmobile – Jason

Leaves it where it normally is but gaslights Bruce into thinking it's gone – Tim

Bruce: Rule one of being a vigilante: use whatever tools or tricks necessary to stay ahead of your enemies.

Bruce: Rule two of being a vigilante: never give out free information.

Bruce: Rule three of being a vigilante: even though teamwork is important, if you’re sure you can handle something, do it.

Bruce: Got that?

Duke, writing “gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss” in his notes: Yeah, yeah, for sure.

Reblog to pin him to your blog

it's ok, jay

(not ship)

[id: a drawing of jason todd and dick grayson. dick is in his nightwing costume without the mask, and jason is in a brown leather jacket. jason is doubled over dick in a tight hug. /end id]

signature move things <33

Alfred: What would you like?

Bruce: I would like my son to act like an adult for once.

Alfred: I meant for dinner.

Dick: Dinosaur chicken nuggets.

Batfam and co as tumblr shitposts cause I’m tired

Jason:

Bernard:

Steph:

Tim:

Damian:

Bart Allen:

+bonus Jason: