Monarchberrysblog - Dia - Tumblr Blog

Hello🌹,

I hope you are well

My name is Farah

I'm from Gaza 🇵🇸

Can you please help me to study at the university

Me and my family have lost our home, our car, and our dream to study 😞😞

I hope just to help me to start my education

I was in my first year at university in Gaza but after the war, I lost everything my dream and my education 💔

Hope you really can help with anything

Thank you in advance🌹

https://gofund.me/7417ca2b

https://gofund.me/0974b65e

Free Palestine 🇵🇸

Might be an angst 🤨 idk just yet, I'm improving on the angst department

Since Miguel’s b-day is in a week, would y'all like a fic unrelated to kinktober? 😗

HELL YEAH IM READYYYY

Hey guys !!

I know i disappeared a hot minute ago and never finished my batb au, but due to lots of personal things in my life i lost a bit of motivation and had a huge writer’s block, i wrote a few things but it didn’t feel right. my mind is in a better place now and i wanna introduce a snippet or at least the first chapter of something that i’ve been working on and trying to write for a while.

For a bit of context its a cowboy migs fic, but with a twist of it being during the 1920s.

I should be posting this by tonight or tomorrow, and when i do i hope you guys can give some ideas as to what to add to chapter 2, ideas for the story, and even some constructive criticism and whatnot. Also, in the spirit of october, this will be quite the slow burn and smutty story that i have in mind !!

Please look foward to: Of Liquor and Speakeasies !!

Since Miguel’s b-day is in a week, would y'all like a fic unrelated to kinktober? 😗

FUUUUUU

“ i simply am not there. „ — patrick bateman

(i do not headcanon him to be ANYTHING like patrick, or want this is be an au of any kind — this is just a scene redraw i wanted to do for halloween <3)

Some of y'all are freaky frogs, I like that 🙂‍↕️

📄 — take a seat (wild west au)

now presenting…

𐚁⊹₊ ⋆ kinktober | day one → face sitting

🔑 outlaw! miguel o’hara x fem! reader 🔑

🌵 summary: an outlaw crashes at your B&B and makes himself welcome in your tiny business.

🌵 content warning: edging, arousal from suspension, fingering, cunnilingus (fem! receiving), a surprise at the end 😗 as I mentioned before, this isn't like my usual smut. VIEWER’S DISCRETION IS ADVISED.

🌵 word count: >1.0k words

🌵 author’s notes: this is my first fic where I bend the rules. I hope y’all enjoy it! I did a lot of research for the last segment… oh my, oh lord.

🌾 not proofread! 🌾

link to → kinktober m.list

Credit given to @bluesidez for giving me light inspo for this! (They are working on a somewhat similar AU, so please give them all the love and support!) 💛🩵

A warmness crept into your eyes, pleading for you to release the waterworks. But you kept it in, not wanting to embarrass yourself. The only things that were escaping from you were your soft moans and sighs.

The soft kisses to your lips became hungry, desperate—a man seeking hydration from being out in the desert for days without water. “Miguel—” You choke on your words and grasp his thick, wavy locks, only pushing him towards your core. He forcefully pulls away, a mischievous look on his face. The wetness coated his chin and lips while an intoxicated shade of crimson was evident in his eyes. “Use your words.” He demands. He places a heavy hand down on your abdominal area, keeping you down on the mattress. “Oh, fucking hell—” Your breath staggers like a train’s engine as you thrust your hips up to his mouth.

“That works, too.” He breathes out. His canine grazes at your clit before licking a slow strip up, keeping his eyes on you like a predator looking at his prey. But the shade of crimson in his eyes only darkened when an idea crossed his mind. He slowly pulls away, licking his lip and looking at the sight before him. “C’mon… take a seat.”

“Excuse me?” You tilted your head up from the soft pillows, the edge of the build-up of stimulation fading along with your excitement.

He removes his undershirt and sits beside you, getting comfortable against the bed. “Take a seat.” He repeats, soon pointing at his face. You exhale a sigh of disbelief while you find your words, which you have been struggling to do all night. “I’m not going to sit—”

“Take a damn seat. None of that hovering bullshit.” He snaps, his hand gesturing you to come closer. You did as he demanded, straddling his face but not wholly putting your weight down.

His hands guide you up to your hips and waist and yank you down to his mouth immediately.

Instead of the soft kisses he exchanged, his lips and tongue moved fervor, savoring you as if you were his favorite meal. “Give me a moment…!” Your hand reaches down to yank Miguel’s hair to pull him away. He only moved closer, not giving you a breathing chance to recuperate.

You collapse onto the flimsy headboard, resting your forehead against its top. The soft kitten licks soothed your fluttering core, his tongue lingering on your clit.

You sighed contently and settled down. But after a few soft sighs and breaths, a soft push against your entrance staggered your breathing. Miguel’s finger gently nudged into your fluttering core, slowly sliding in. “There we go…” The wet gushing sound echoed throughout the space, voiding the space of silence. A loud, obnoxious moan escaped from the back of your throat, a loud, high-pitched sound you could have never imagined that you could conjure up. You roll the curb of your forehead against the headboard and move against his fingers, running away from them.

“No, no…” He cooes to you, pushing in a second finger. “Don’t run away from me now.” Miguel’s voice is muffled as he dives into another kiss, still making his fingers into your greedy entrance. His fingers curl slightly, pushing down on your g-spot. The slow, warm build-up formed in your lower stomach, and it was only a sensation that you were familiar with. A sensation that told you to get off.

“Wait! Stop! I need to go!” Your eyes dart down to Miguel, but he ignores your pleas. “You’re doing fine, sweetie.” His words are muffled, continuing his feast in between your legs. “I think not, I’m about to—” It was too late. A warm stream leaked out with the bubbling sensation, soaking the pillows and Miguel. You exhaled a sigh of relief, no longer feeling the bubbling sensation in your lower stomach.

The movements within a few seconds flashed as you were now laying on your back on the bed and feeling a cold barrel against your puffy clit. “Huh…?” You attempt to peek down before his hand meets with your neck and pins you down onto the bed. “Stay still.” He commands, moving the barrel up and down the bundles of nerves. “Take it easy…” He whispers before the said cold barrel slips inside with ease. You pursed your lips and inhaled sharply. “Don’t worry, I'm not gonna pull the trigger.”

Your inhale of air came to a seize. When did he grab the colt?

“Unless you want me to.”

“No…” You choke out. The engraved patterns on the barrel rubbed against your clit slowly, as if the bundles of nerves traced the design and wanted to memorize the texture. “Good girl.” the once cold colt mellowed out with your warmth, fogging the barrel. The thrusting of the weapon became futile, becoming more of an impossible task. “You’re close, aren't you?” He darkly chuckles as he continues with the same steady motion before you soak the colt, adding a coat of shine to the weapon. “No…” You feign confidence but fail the moment you kegal onto the barrel and finish, coating the silvery gun with a shimmer.

He pulls out and leans down, giving your entrance a deserving kiss before towering over you and rewarding you with a soft kiss. “You did so good.” He whispers, his voice sending goosebumps down your spine. He collapses next to you and pulls you close, rubbing a gentle hand down your spine. “You did good.”

tag list: (if you like to be tagged please fill out the google form on my pinned post)

@hyjionie @zaunsin

Thank you for the tag, Vi!

We love her 🙂‍↕️ enough said.

No pressure tags: @slushycoookie @theorphicangel + anyone who wants to join!

Look up your name in the gifs and show the first gif that comes up

Thanks for the tags, @buckets-and-trees and @nouis-bum ❤️ Here’s what I got:

💀💀💀

I’m cackling so hard at the accuracy lollll.

No pressure tags: @krirebr @thezombieprostitute @sweater-daddiesdumbdork @targaryenvampireslayer @foxgloveprincess ❤️

📄 — take a seat (wild west au)

now presenting…

𐚁⊹₊ ⋆ kinktober | day one → face sitting

🔑 outlaw! miguel o’hara x fem! reader 🔑

🌵 summary: an outlaw crashes at your B&B and makes himself welcome in your tiny business.

🌵 content warning: edging, arousal from suspension, fingering, cunnilingus (fem! receiving), a surprise at the end 😗 as I mentioned before, this isn't like my usual smut. VIEWER’S DISCRETION IS ADVISED.

🌵 word count: >1.0k words

🌵 author’s notes: this is my first fic where I bend the rules. I hope y’all enjoy it! I did a lot of research for the last segment… oh my, oh lord.

🌾 not proofread! 🌾

link to → kinktober m.list

Credit given to @bluesidez for giving me light inspo for this! (They are working on a somewhat similar AU, so please give them all the love and support!) 💛🩵

A warmness crept into your eyes, pleading for you to release the waterworks. But you kept it in, not wanting to embarrass yourself. The only things that were escaping from you were your soft moans and sighs.

The soft kisses to your lips became hungry, desperate—a man seeking hydration from being out in the desert for days without water. “Miguel—” You choke on your words and grasp his thick, wavy locks, only pushing him towards your core. He forcefully pulls away, a mischievous look on his face. The wetness coated his chin and lips while an intoxicated shade of crimson was evident in his eyes. “Use your words.” He demands. He places a heavy hand down on your abdominal area, keeping you down on the mattress. “Oh, fucking hell—” Your breath staggers like a train’s engine as you thrust your hips up to his mouth.

“That works, too.” He breathes out. His canine grazes at your clit before licking a slow strip up, keeping his eyes on you like a predator looking at his prey. But the shade of crimson in his eyes only darkened when an idea crossed his mind. He slowly pulls away, licking his lip and looking at the sight before him. “C’mon… take a seat.”

“Excuse me?” You tilted your head up from the soft pillows, the edge of the build-up of stimulation fading along with your excitement.

He removes his undershirt and sits beside you, getting comfortable against the bed. “Take a seat.” He repeats, soon pointing at his face. You exhale a sigh of disbelief while you find your words, which you have been struggling to do all night. “I’m not going to sit—”

“Take a damn seat. None of that hovering bullshit.” He snaps, his hand gesturing you to come closer. You did as he demanded, straddling his face but not wholly putting your weight down.

His hands guide you up to your hips and waist and yank you down to his mouth immediately.

Instead of the soft kisses he exchanged, his lips and tongue moved fervor, savoring you as if you were his favorite meal. “Give me a moment…!” Your hand reaches down to yank Miguel’s hair to pull him away. He only moved closer, not giving you a breathing chance to recuperate.

You collapse onto the flimsy headboard, resting your forehead against its top. The soft kitten licks soothed your fluttering core, his tongue lingering on your clit.

You sighed contently and settled down. But after a few soft sighs and breaths, a soft push against your entrance staggered your breathing. Miguel’s finger gently nudged into your fluttering core, slowly sliding in. “There we go…” The wet gushing sound echoed throughout the space, voiding the space of silence. A loud, obnoxious moan escaped from the back of your throat, a loud, high-pitched sound you could have never imagined that you could conjure up. You roll the curb of your forehead against the headboard and move against his fingers, running away from them.

“No, no…” He cooes to you, pushing in a second finger. “Don’t run away from me now.” Miguel’s voice is muffled as he dives into another kiss, still making his fingers into your greedy entrance. His fingers curl slightly, pushing down on your g-spot. The slow, warm build-up formed in your lower stomach, and it was only a sensation that you were familiar with. A sensation that told you to get off.

“Wait! Stop! I need to go!” Your eyes dart down to Miguel, but he ignores your pleas. “You’re doing fine, sweetie.” His words are muffled, continuing his feast in between your legs. “I think not, I’m about to—” It was too late. A warm stream leaked out with the bubbling sensation, soaking the pillows and Miguel. You exhaled a sigh of relief, no longer feeling the bubbling sensation in your lower stomach.

The movements within a few seconds flashed as you were now laying on your back on the bed and feeling a cold barrel against your puffy clit. “Huh…?” You attempt to peek down before his hand meets with your neck and pins you down onto the bed. “Stay still.” He commands, moving the barrel up and down the bundles of nerves. “Take it easy…” He whispers before the said cold barrel slips inside with ease. You pursed your lips and inhaled sharply. “Don’t worry, I'm not gonna pull the trigger.”

Your inhale of air came to a seize. When did he grab the colt?

“Unless you want me to.”

“No…” You choke out. The engraved patterns on the barrel rubbed against your clit slowly, as if the bundles of nerves traced the design and wanted to memorize the texture. “Good girl.” the once cold colt mellowed out with your warmth, fogging the barrel. The thrusting of the weapon became futile, becoming more of an impossible task. “You’re close, aren't you?” He darkly chuckles as he continues with the same steady motion before you soak the colt, adding a coat of shine to the weapon. “No…” You feign confidence but fail the moment you kegal onto the barrel and finish, coating the silvery gun with a shimmer.

He pulls out and leans down, giving your entrance a deserving kiss before towering over you and rewarding you with a soft kiss. “You did so good.” He whispers, his voice sending goosebumps down your spine. He collapses next to you and pulls you close, rubbing a gentle hand down your spine. “You did good.”

tag list: (if you like to be tagged please fill out the google form on my pinned post)

@hyjionie @zaunsin

Yes.

I cannot stop thinking about giving that man a baby.

📂— DIA’S KINKTOBER M.LIST

Hey guys! It’s dia and welcome to my kinktober masterlist! 🦇🍭

I'm excited to participate in this event as I’m ready to write outside of my comfort! This has been something that I've been looking forward to since last year! So please be nice 🥹 Other than all that, enjoy your visit here on this blog, and HAPPY OCTOBER!

grab your snacks and drinks because let’s get this movie night started! 🍿🥤

MOVIE PREMIRE | KINKTOBER: MIGUEL O’HARA 🕷️

↳ RATED: X FACTOR (CONTENT NOT MADE FOR EVERYONE, SEQUENCES OF EXTREME KINKS AND ECCENTRIC BEHAVIOR)

THE FOLLOWING CONTENT IS NOT SUITABLE FOR YOUNG AUDIENCES. VIEWERS' DISCRETION IS ADVISED

📄 — OCTOBER 2ND | TAKE A SEAT

↳ face sitting → a wild west au with a twist! an outlaw crashes at your B&B and makes himself welcome in your tiny business.

📄 — OCTOBER 9TH | FULFULLING

↳ tba →

📄 — OCTOBER 16TH | DEEP DOWN

↳ tba →

📄 — OCTOBER 23RD | TOO MUCH

↳ tba →

📄 — OCTOBER 29TH | cumming soon

📄 — OCTOBER 30TH | cumming soon

📄 — OCTOBER 31TH | cumming soon

©monarchberrysblog ➣ don’t steal my work or repost it on other platforms (ex. Wattpad, AO3, Fanfiction.net, etc)

Dear Supporter,

I hope this message finds you and your family in good health. My name is Eman Zaqout from Gaza. I am reaching you out to seek your urgent help in spreading the word about our fundraiser. I lost both my home and my job due to the ongoing genocide in Gaza and we are facing catastrophic living conditions. 💔

I kindly ask you to visit my campaign. Your support, whether through donating or sharing, will help us reach more people who can make a difference. Thank you for your continued support for the Palestinian cause. Your dedication brings us closer to freedom. 🙏🕊

Note: Verified by several people as 90-ghost and aces-and-angels. ☑

Please donate to support the cause if you can!

‎‏Hello… 🦋🦋 I am Mona, I live in Gaza… 🍉 I ask you for financial support in a small amount if you are unable to donate I hope to share my post.🙏

We suffered during the war from displacement, fear, and the destruction of our home and everything that is beautiful about us 🏠

A contribution of $10-$20 is enough to help afford my treatment so I can see the beauty of life again 😔 I hope you can check out my profile to check out my fundraising campaign to save and evacuate my family from the war 🙏

We are about to lose our lives You are our hope🙏

To donate please click here https://gofund.me/eef61a3c

vetted by : 90-ghost click here

25

Please donate if you can!

Hello dears ! I am asking you to support my campaign to help me to reach my goal. I am now in bad need to your support to help me stay alive and safe. Gaza is a very dangerous place either on the level of livelihood or on the level of souls. I need your monetary support to ensble me to get the basic needs for my family till Rafah crossing point reopens to move my family to safety and peace.Pleasd help a family be alive through your small donations or througn your shares to others

.Thank you so much for your stand beside people in need .

❤️🖤🤍💚❤️🖤🤍💚❤️🖤🤍💚❤️🖤🤍💚

To donate please click here

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to donate fundahope here

❤️🖤🤍💚❤️🖤🤍💚❤️🖤🤍💚❤️🖤🤍💚

vetted by 90-ghost here

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Donate if you can!

Hi sorry if this is an imposing question but which of the Miguel writers left? 😅

One of my mutuals, sassypossum deactivated but she's back under a new user. But regarding other mutuals, they were from a different fandom 😭😭

Maybe… 👁️👁️

I'm trying to see something

When y/n does something so cringe that i have to look at the invisible camera for a sec.

Bruh Xina pissing me off wtf—

Gym Rat Miguel Part 14

content warning: none!

word count: 3.4k (shoutout to the BETAAAA @slushycoookie)

Prev | Next ✩°｡ ⋆⸜ 🎧✮ Masterlist

It was cold.

So cold.

The last thing he remembers was the prickles of the concrete through his pants.

Everything kept replaying in his head as if he were watching it unfold before him again. He still felt the way you pushed him, parts of his body flashing from where you shoved. The expression on your face was scorned and burned into his memory. The corners of your lips were deep, your eyes lost all color, your hands were trembling despite the steady tone in your voice, and you fought to keep the tears from running. It pained him.

He hurt you again and it was all a misunderstanding, again.

How was he so bad at this?

Miguel felt scared as he failed in opening up his constricted throat, but he couldn't stop it.

He kept thinking that maybe you would come back, maybe you were just around the corner waiting, but it feels like it’s been forever since you ran out of his room.

He needs to call you.

He needs to see you.

He needs to be near you.

Why can’t he?

“Miguel.”

A harsh hand shocks his shoulders, shaking him until the pivots and brick of the wall behind him scratch across his skin.

“Hey. Listen to me. Can you hear me?”

A frantic voice reaches the end of his ears, but it sounds far away. Was it his name? Were they talking to him?

It’s still so cold. His feet feel numb and his fingers won’t move.

The voice stops calling him and the hills in the wall are back in their rightful place, digging into his skin.

He wonders if you’re cold too.

The breath is knocked out of him, his eyes focusing on the ground under him. The air comes back into his lungs just as fast, the wind aiding him.

When did it start raining?

“Miguel,” he’s shaken again, but he can look up this time.

Peter squats in front of him with a worried face, orange bucket knocked over by his side.

“Did you just pour that on me?” is all Miguel thinks to say, his voice scratchy and almost gone.

“I panicked, ok? It was either this or the ambulance. It’s so weird to just drag your body back inside. Come on, get up before our RA actually does his job.”

With more strength than Miguel thought he had, Peter yanks him up and supports his weight, counting even steps as he guides him to their dorm room. The blood is slowly flowing back to his fingertips and the difference in temperature makes the hair on his skin rise.

One guy walks past the two of them with a look of curiosity, but the sense to not ask. Miguel starts to register how this looks.

Peter gets the door open fast and drops Miguel on a beanbag.

“You know, I didn’t expect for your party to turn out this wild. However, I also would have expected you to crash out back here. Or there. Or just, not in front of the dorm.”

Miguel’s body slumped and the events of today came crashing back onto him. He laughs, feeling the tears of his face mix with the water dripping from his hair.

He did have a party today and he did fuck up today. Majorly. The heels of his palms dig into his eyes as his body jerks, unable to keep up with his sobbing.

His roommate panics, “Did I say something wrong?”

Through what feels like a torturous hour, Miguel tells Peter what happens.

He was devastated.

It’s like a punch in the gut to repeat the words you said to him. They were like a betrayal, salt to the wound that was the finicky air between you both. He should have done more to communicate with you but instead he was leaving things up for chance.

You didn’t leave room for if’s or maybe’s and he stood there like a bumbling idiot, fighting to have you hear him.

On top of that, today was still his birthday. The party that one of his oldest friends gave to him sucked. A pack of gum would have been a better gift and for the life of him, he couldn’t understand why Xina did this.

Through this same hour, Miguel can’t stop crying. He can’t stop thinking about you and he wants to tear his heart out.

It’s not until his head hits his pillow that he has serenity, body tired from the day.

He thinks he’s called your number over seventy times. After the tenth call, the line didn’t connect. By the twentieth, there was only one ring and an automated tone.

By the thirtieth call, he’s trying not to freak out. By the fortieth call, he’s checking instagram to reach you there, but of course, you’re nowhere to be found.

By the fiftieth call, he’s sending message after message to the brick wall that is your number. At sixty, he’s considering digging up your school email from last year.

At call seventy-one, he’s wondering if carrier pigeons still exist.

It’s almost noon and Peter threatened to put his phone in a box if he didn’t stop trying to call you. Miguel hasn’t really moved since last night, not because it hurts, but because the warmth of the bed still felt like you were with him.

He hasn’t gotten up to eat or workout which is not the norm. He wasn’t hungry and his limbs felt extremely heavy.

Peter left to go find him something quick and easy, but Miguel isn’t sure if would be able to stomach it.

His phone buzzes, and a small part of him perks up hoping that it’s you.

Gabriel’s picture lights up the screen, a silly photo of him with his crooked goggles on inside of the water. The hope in him dies a little more.

He presses the green button and buries himself further into the sheets.

“What is up! I’m guessing you had a wild night last night since you didn’t call anybody.”

“I-“

“But before you tell me everything, I’ve got to catch you up. First of all, a squirrel stole my Aki-way sandwich. I knew Alvin and his brothers were giving their species a run for their money, but what did he say fuck me for? Then, it’s been a freaky ass club trying to get me to join in on their sexcapades. Dana said I could have eye candy, but the people in there honestly give me the heebie jeebies. Oh! I am now a godfather to several tiny doodles. My roommate’s dog unfortunately went on the prowl.”

Gabriel paused.

“Miguel, what’s wrong? You haven’t given your obligatory one to two sentences to break up my yapping.”

“Break up.”

“What?”

“She. She broke up with me.”

The silence was so long that when Gabriel started laughing, Miguel’s nerves jumped in his skin.

“That is actually so funny, like seriously. You got me,” Gabriel focuses the blurry screen back onto his face. “Are you crying?”

Miguel dropped the phone on his bed and sat up, bringing the collar over his shirt over his eyes and back down.

“Miguel, I thought you were joking. Please tell me you’re joking. This isn’t haha funny.”

“Why would I ever joke about this?” Miguel picked the phone back up, voice raw.

“Well, what happened? I don’t understand! You were so excited to see her yesterday. And- and you guys just had your anniversary.”

“I know that. God, I-I know that.”

“And I’ve never seen you this head-over-heels for anybody, not even for that girl that entertained you for like a week in high school. Did you do something?”

“Gabriel, please let me talk.”

His brother made a face as if milliseconds were too long of a time to think.

“This semester has been tough on both of us and we, no I, haven’t been making time to see her. It’s either studying or class or something else that gets in the way.”

“That’s not enough to warrant a break up. You’re not that shallow and neither is she.”

“She thinks I cheated on her.”

Gabriel sits up and tilts his head with a frown, “Huge bomb to drop out of nowhere. She’s all you can talk about sometimes, as in you can’t think about anything else besides her. And if school is causing you guys to not meet up, when do you have time to cheat?”

“I don’t! Even if I were to be in an alternate world where I’m this sleazy, terrible boyfriend, I wouldn’t have time. I go to the gym, I go to class, I go to the library, I go to my dorm. It’s because Xina is always-“

“Pause,” Gabriel put a hand to the screen. “Stop the fucking music.”

“What.”

“What do you mean Xina?”

“What do you mean, what do I mean?”

“Xina. As in the one who kicked me out of your room when we were younger?”

“Yes.”

“As in the one who didn’t give you the time of day for years, but became friendly once you beat her highest test scores.”

“Yes.”

“As in the one who completely flipped the dynamic of your friend group.”

“That’s-“ Miguel falters, but Gabriel keeps going.

“The one who was at our house constantly, especially when she found out that your dad owns the biggest tech company ever.”

“She didn’t-“

“The one who mom conveniently likes.”

“What’s wrong with that?”

“The one who’s been pining after you for years.”

“No, she has not. Why do people keep saying that?”

Gabriel barked out a laugh again, harsh. “Miguel, I love you, but you can’t be this much of a dumbass.”

Miguel clicked his teeth as Gabriel continued, over this conversation.

“Do you see the connection I’m making here? Or should I spell it out further. Because it’s so clear to me what’s happening and you don’t even have to finish the story.”

“The story is that my girlfriend just dumped me because she thinks that I’m cheating on her with Xina-“

“But why, Miguel? Why does she think that?”

“I,” he takes a breath and thinks back to what you told him while you were hurt, vulnerable on this same bed. “I have been spending a lot of time with her, but only because we share classes. And because she’s my friend. I don’t want to be with her.”

“Does Xina know that?”

“Of course she knows she’s my friend. I have no reason to not be her friend.”

Gabriel made a noncommittal noise.

“What the fuck does that mean, Gabriel?”

“Don’t get pissed off at me because I’m not gonna coddle you for being an idiot.”

Miguel wanted to end the call, but he knows it’s only going to rile Gabriel up more.

“It’s so blatantly obvious that Xina likes you. Not as a friend, but as someone to date, whether it’s superficial or not. I’m not sure how you went so long without noticing, but here we are. Every time you’re with her, you entertain her, and now that you have, shit, had a girlfriend, she’s realizing that it’s too late.”

The knot that was lodged in his throat earlier was unfurling. Maybe it’ll finally come up, but he’s not sure as what yet.

“I made it clear that I,” the words get gargled in and thrown back out, “had a a girlfriend. And even when I didn’t have one, Xina never gave me exact words-”

“Oh my god, Miguel. She didn’t have to! You’re friendly, you’re considerate, you’re caring, and she’s used that to her advantage. Please, open your eyes.”

It’s not that he didn’t want to hear it. He didn’t want to believe it. He didn’t want to believe that someone he knew for this long would hurt him in this way.

“She was with me every chance she got. In classes or studying or going to the gym or just relaxing.” Purposefully taking his time.

“Out of everyone I introduced her to, she was only weird to my girlfriend.” When she wasn’t the center of his attention.

“She took my phone-”

“Crazy work, by the way. The phone and the weirdness.” Gabriel chimed in.

“-to silence my notifications, to block my girlfriend’s number. And I didn’t realize it, because I trusted her.”

“And that makes a lot more sense,” Gabriel laid down in his bed, face as stern as his mom’s. “Glad we got here. So what are you going to do now?”

He didn’t even mention what Andrew told him, about how he mistook his friend for something more. Is that how others saw them when they were walking around campus too?

Is this how you felt when you saw his phone?

Miguel sat up and hung his legs over the bed, “I want to puke.”

“Hold it in, big boy. This isn’t a marathon.”

“It feels like it.”

Miguel snatched his phone and went to the bathroom, stomach rolling like converse in a dryer.

“You need to find a way to talk to everyone, especially your girl. You need to explain yourself and the situation,” Gabriel’s voice echoed off the tiles. “You’re good at talking, no matter how long it takes you to realize things.”

He chuckled listening to his brother, sliding to floor. The room was hot and saliva was building on his tongue.

“I don’t think she wants to see me.”

“Maybe give it a week? Try the middle of the week if you can’t wait that long.”

He doesn’t know how he can reach you besides showing up outside of your door or your class. Isn’t that creepy?

Maybe he can catch you in the cafe.

“Gabri?”

“Yeah, Mig?”

The noise from his throat enters the air before his words do. All he sees is the white of the toilet and the fuzzy brown of the hamburger bath mat Peter insisted on buying.

“I didn’t think you were serious!” Gabriel shouts over his gagging.

Nothing was even coming up, just bile and the buildup of his feelings since yesterday.

“I’m turning you down,” Miguel can feel Gabriel grimacing without even looking at him. “You’re really lovesick. What are you going to do when you guys get married?”

His stomach lurched again.

“Will I even make it that far?” An image of you at the alter flashed by, and when he lifts the veil, the look on your eyes as you stood in this bathroom is painted on your face.

You might leave him at the alter. Forget the alter, you might not ever look at him again.

He coughed and heaved over the bowl.

“I hope you don’t do this when you actually talk to her, Miguel.”

“Shut. Up.”

In the brightly lit bathroom laid out on the floor is how Peter found him. By this point, Gabriel was practicing his instrument under the guise of calming Miguel down.

He leans over him with his hands on his hips, “Don’t tell me you got into my Twisted Teas without me.”

Gabriel paused his music to let out a sharp laugh.

“No,” Miguel groaned and put an arm over his head.

“He’s been crashing out for the past forty, almost fifty, minutes,” Gabriel says. “But now that you’re here, I’m gonna clock out. Let me know what you decide to do Miguel.”

Peter holds a bag up and smiles, “How does some warm, yummy potato soup sound?”

Miguel bolts up and gags.

“Not a fan favorite, I see.”

By Sunday, he’s able to get up with heavy eyes do some light walking around the park, the autumn sun a nice change of scenery.

He wonders how you’re faring.

A part of him hopes you’re not like him: sick, exhausted, and aimless. Another part of him, as crazy as it is, wishes for you to yearn for him as much as he’s yearning for you, to feel what he’s feeling, to care as much as he does.

He’s seeing you everywhere.

In the leftover box of cookies left on his desk, he thinks about how much time you could have spent on writing the messages.

In the figure of you both showcasing a night where you looked at him an aura of comfort.

In the brown bear keychain on his backpack that mocks him.

In the stickers on water bottle that he picks at while he walks.

In the lockscreen of you that he took of you as you were laid under him. You were in his hoodie, under his blanket, and staring up at him like he was giving you the world.

Perhaps he hit his head somewhere between Friday to today.

His throat is still throbbing from the crying, from running out after you in the chilled night without his keycard, but his head is clearer.

Now, he’s ready to think about how to approach you.

By Tuesday, everything seems to be blurring together. The only thing that has stayed consistent is the gym.

The gym gives him peace in a way that the right corner of his dorm doesn’t. It doesn’t change, only giving to him what he gives to it.

Maybe that’s what happened with you and him. You’re only giving him the pain that he gave to you.

He doesn’t want to go to class, but he can’t afford to not go.

So he drags himself to the computer lab.

Sitting down, he tries to think about what he wants to say, rolling the words over in his head.

“Miguel!”

Irritated is the first feeling that sits within him and the smell of that nutty sweet vanilla wasn’t helping.

“Dude? All of a sudden you don’t answer your phone?”

“You would know a lot about that, huh?”

Xina laughs and shakes the mouse at her computer, “What are you talking about?”

“I don’t have the patience for you to act like everything is ok.”

“I seriously don’t know what you’re talking about. Did you do some extra partying without me?”

“Xina,” Miguel turned to her, eyes tired. She was wearing another bright set today and the words that Gabriel, Tempest, Lyla, and Winston were telling him echoed through his mind. “What was the point of the ‘party’ you threw for me?”

“You’re upset over that? A simple college party?”

“That’s not what that was. You didn’t throw that for me. So please tell me why you’ve gone so far as to push my girlfriend away?”

“What?” Xina’s face switched like a light. “You must be joking.”

“Xina, I know you went in my phone and blocked her number. Why did you that?”

He’s giving her the floor to answer. To tell the truth.

“Of course this is about her. I, I just can’t”

“You-you can’t what, Xina?” the pitch of his words match her, head shaking incredulously.

“I can’t believe one girl is about to ruin an almost two-decade friendship because she can’t stand the fact that you have friends that are also girls.”

“You’re not serious.”

“No, you,” she points a nail at him, “are not serious. This is so fucked.”

“What’s fucked is that you’re avoiding my question, when all signs lead back to you.”

She stares at him, lips tight, “And you’re sure of it.”

“Who else would it be?” he motions to the space around him, “We’ve been tied at the hip this entire semester.”

“So this is seriously happening. Right here. Of all places.”

“You don’t get it, Xina. All of these years, I was the one who defended you. When everyone told me to leave you alone, I stayed by your side because I knew the real you. This,” he moves his hands up and down, “is not you.”

The face that Xina wears sours. For a second, Miguel wonders if, even in this situation, he was still wrong.

“So why aren’t you fighting for me anymore?” she asks, voice barely above a whisper. “Miguel-”

“I’m not going to fight for someone who is willing to hurt me in this way. I’m not fighting for someone who won’t even give me the truth when I’m begging for it.”

She pats at her cheeks, a useless action to stop the tears that start to hit her sweater. Her eyes find Miguel’s and she searches for something, anything, but his face is still.

“Understood.”

Just as quickly as she came in, she left.

Once again, Miguel was left questioning what he did.

divider by: cafekitsune + adornedwithlight + strangergraphics 🩵

taglist: @ghost-lantern @miguelhugger2099 @emelie-s-h @lake-lili

@obsessed-with-miguels-ass @scaleniusrm @superiorspiderass @lexluvswriting

@flordelalunas @froggygal @vmpz8sauceee @famouscattale @nixinluv02

@jada-of-arcadia @spideykid22 @what-the-jams @julia4today @tojishugetiddies

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To some of my moots who are deactivating, Imma miss y'all 🥹

And I love y'all sm

hii i was wondering what happened to the waiting for you fics? i wanted to reread it but i couldn't find it :(

Hello anon!

At the moment, it is privated as I want to revamp it! Rereading it made me want to improve the story and timeline. It'll be back as soon as possible as I'm working on Kinktober right now.

Please be patient, my love! 😭

I swear your Oral Fixation fic literally reminds me of that one Eminem verse 😭

‘Swish but don’t spit it…

…swallow when I finish’

Because of this, now that every time I hear this song, I'm just going to imagine the reader giving Miguel the sloppy toppy in my head 😭😭

But I low-key wrote oral fixation as a joke, but some people took it seriously 😶

But thank you for reading, Ayrus 🥹

✓ el perdedor.

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡ till death do us part

miguel o’hara x fem! reader ✓

summary: Here's to the fools who dream.

content warning: bittersweet content, a “what-if” is questioned

word count: >1.0k words

author’s note: augh, the last fic I wrote was a major flop 😭 (tbh, I was expecting it because I wrote it as a joke, but some people didn't get the notice 😭) but here you go, something new and not weird 😭

♡ NOT PROOFREAD!! ♡

The knots in his stomach continued intertwining into a heap, and he could not find where they started or ended. It was enough to make him throw up. The sensation didn't make him anxious; rather, the events unfolding before him terrified him. Time slipped through his fingers like silky hair in between his fingers.

The FaceTime call was fresh in his mind. He could even recall the events he did beforehand.

It was out of nowhere, quiet literally.

He lay in bed alone, the right side empty, hoping for someone to use that side one day. But for now, the unused pillows would be his companions. The low vibrations of the mobile device buzzed obnoxiously loud, with your picture flashing on the screen.

He taps on the green button with squinted eyes. The light from the device aches his eyes as he adjusts to the dark contrast. The video call loads and the sight on his screen sink into the pits of his stomach—a shining diamond ring. “What is this?” It’s the only question that escapes his mouth. “Oh my God, Miguel! I'm engaged! He asked me!” The obnoxious, cheery tone filled the space.

Your cheery tone contrasted the sense of dread in Miguel’s gut. He never knew that your now-fiance had the nerve to pop the big question. But seeing the glistening diamond before him answered all of his doubts. “Oh wow, that’s crazy…” He mindlessly mumbles and rubs his eyes, the strain aching. His mind plagued him as you continued to ramble on and on about the date before your partner asked the question. It was too soon to happen, way too soon.

“But you better RSVP for the wedding!” He snaps awake from his clouded mind and mindlessly nods. “Yeah, of course.” He mumbles, combing back his messy, wavy hair. The call abruptly ends, and the silence weighs down on Miguel’s shoulders.

What if he pursued you like his gut told him to? Or what if he decided to homewreck the happy relationship?

He shakes his head at the idea and could never see himself getting in that sticky situation, with the high possibility of breaking your friendship and trust you had in him.

The bride reveal. This is a new tradition Miguel didn't want to be a part of but decided to play along because you really wanted him to partake in it.

Miguel is greeted by the sight of you in a lavish wedding dress. He turns around to see you smiling and bouncing on the balls of your feet. “What do you think?” you gleam, showing the ecstatic energy coursing through your veins. “You look amazing.”

More words wanted to pour into a waterfall full of exemplary words, but then words would barely get a sliver to describe your glowing features. “Really?” You pry before you squeal in excitement. “This day feels so surreal.” You beam.

He forces a chuckle before his hands adjust the veil. “I bet it does.” He pushes the words out of his lips. He sighs softly and covers your pretty face with the veil, adjusting the dainty fabric. “There we go…” He mumbles. He playfully flicks the tip of your nose, earning him an exclaim from you. A question escapes past his lips while placing a gentle finger on your nose to soothe the slight sting.

“Are you having cold feet?”

In his selfish yearning, he wanted you to say yes, to run away together, get married in Vegas, and elope. But your shaking your head confirmed that the yearning will never happen—not in this lifetime. He nods and pats your head. “Make him happy, okay?” He exhales.

You nod eagerly before you are called over to your father’s side, ready to walk down the aisle.

He looks on, seeing you hurry along to attend the service you were going to celebrate with your soon-to-be husband. You glance over your shoulder once more, giving him a smile. He returns the smile, hiding the sliver of pain in his glistening eyes.

The midnight blue sky paints the horizon as Miguel stumbles back into his penthouse. The bed left unmade, except the right side, covered in unwanted pillows.

The night ends with the right side of his bed staying cold as you become his sister-in-law by the end of the service and wedding venue that only served weak champagne that could barely muffle out the aching pain in his chest.