Bhaal: I Wonder What My Favoritest Little Breeding Stud Is Up To. Bet It's Murder. Heheh...Sceleretas

Bhaal: I wonder what my favoritest little breeding stud is up to. Bet it's murder. Heheh... Sceleretas whispers in his ear: ..... Bhaal: .......... He's fucking a corpse? Why, that's just fine! Sceleretas: ..... Bhaal: .... The... same corpse you say.... Sceleretas, regretfully: .... Bhaal: He's eating bread? Well, I suppose that's a normal thing for mortals to do, I... Sceleretas, urgently: .....!! Bhaal: HE'S WHAT!?!?!?

imagine birthing out a big powerful demigod out of your own flesh and sinew, sculpting every piece of his body so he's design-made to be a brutal killing machine with uncontrollable murderous intent and then all you can do is sit back and watch as he goes off and gets romped in the hind by this twink instead

never have kids they'll just break your heart

As someone who vapes this hit me like a truck 😂

omg imagine the 141 smokings cigs and cigars after a stressful mission. maybe drinking a glass or two of their choice liquor. and reader just pulls up with the most obnoxious vape ever.

i love the idea of these buff manly military guys grr👹 smoking and just with full confidence pulling up with a rainbow gummy bear surprise cloud of vapor (mb if this is like shitty english not my first language)

reading this ask as i'm laying in bed hitting my vape is hilarious to me

the way the whole group would go dead silent when you pull it out, the sound of the vape crackling as you take a pull is the only sound in the room

simon nearly throws the thing across the room everytime a cloud of strawberry lemonade flavored vapor hits his nostrils, the smoke clouding his vision

"'m gonna shove that vape up your fuckin' arse in a minute, sergeant." he growls, flicking his cigarette onto the floor and stomping off

price is such a pretentious prick about smoking. scoffs if you offer him a cigarette that's not a B&H blue

but when he sees the vape, he honestly considers writing you up. absolutely does not respect vapes nor does he respect anyone that smokes them

"you lot and these fuckin' vapes. can't handle being an actual smoker?"

soap and gaz don't actually care all that much. they'd probably actually hit it if no one else was around. however, they do think they look silly

gaz has absolutely recorded you ripping apart the bed you just made to military standard when you can't find the little flavored nicotine stick

soap will ask for it if he gets drunk enough and there's no cigarettes available

"gimme tha' little fuckin- that bloody thing ye smoke. smells like cherries... fuckin' legend." he grins once he finally has something to satisfy the cravings, even if it is a fruity little vape

This man singly handedly kick-started my obsession with morally grey, white haired bastards. Absolutely walked so Astarion could run. 🫡

favorite spike looks: s5e14 | crush

I don't know why, but I like the idea of humans being to aliens, what cats are to humans...

Alien1: hey, when did you hire a human?

Alien 2: we didn't. They just wandered aboard one day, saying they wanted to "hitch a ride." Then they never left. I think they like it here.

Alien 1: the human distribution system has chosen.

***

Alien stares at the human, who has climbed up a very high shelving unit.

Alien: Human, get down before you hurt yourself.

The humans response is to climb higher.

***

Alien is secretly filming their human, who is spaced out and just staring at nothing.

Alien (whispering): I think the human is about to intercept the brain cell. (Laughter) don't worry human, if it tingles that means it's working.

As a VERY white person, I really do appreciate a black creator taking the time to create a resource that I and anyone else can use so any black characters I may write for or create have the same level of depth to them. It's a lot of work to make sure people like me get it right, even though it shouldn't be.

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Lesson 1: "White Man Painted Black"?

Lesson 1.5: "Hair for Thought"- how visualizing affects your writing

Lesson 2: “That One Hairstyle? RETIRE IT!” Black Hair is an Art (pt.1)

Lesson 2.1: Addendum to Hair pt 1

Lesson 2: "It Takes HOW LONG?" Black Hair is an Art (pt.2)

Application! Ice's Lazy Loc Wash Routine

Application! How to: Simplified Braid

Lesson 3: "Defying the Default"- Skin Tones and the Presence of Black Characters

Application! What are Black fans looking for in Commissions?

Lesson 4: "Do Black People Blush?" Bringing brown complexions to life

Lesson 5: "The Same Place As the Music" Lighting & Color

Lesson 6: "Let's Have A Talk, First" Stereotypes, pt 1

Lesson 6: “Why’s she so rude?” (She’s Not)- Stereotypes, pt 2

Lesson 6: "Is He the Threat (Or Are You?)"- Stereotypes, pt 3

Lesson 7: "That's the Black one!"- Imagery and "Black-Coded" Characters

This is the exact sort of monster romance I want. Give me an incomprehensible being that would drive me mad to process it.

Thinking and thoughts here

Could you just imagine the impossible with me? Being in a loving marriage with your beloved husband -who you believe is human because why wouldn't you? He looks and acts like every other human and monsters aren't real. And he just adored you so very much, he communicates when he doesn't understand something or when a miscommunication is had. He never fights with you but you both work together to fix any problems, and focus on showing how much you care for each other. Truthfully he's the model husband. Almost to a scripted degree, but you've never felt so adored. Especially when he mirrors your affection and never seems to expect anything explicit, nor want it either. It feels safe, and comfortable... So why do you feel the sense of dread in your gut as you're looking at him right now?

Well, it might be how he's standing in the doorway, bag of takeout in hand, smile on his face. Mirroring how he always stands. But it's a brief moment, a flash of dark lines almost like thread wrapping around his joints, moving him like a giant flesh puppet.

And just as quickly as they were seen- they're gone again. Just your loving husband, Dorrin. Standing tall and gazing down, as though the mountain was watching the river below. Absolutely enamored and unyielding to everyone except you who he'd mold himself to better love as time goes on.

At your expression, his smile fades into a look of concern. His gaze follows yours, to his hand. And the brief flash of threading is gone but he knows exactly what you've seen.

His gaze returns to you, hollow. Slowly setting down the bag he was carrying and slowly crosses the room to get to you.

He seems... Empty. As if any signals for how he should be acting have been cut off. His looming figure almost listless as he gazes down at you with a dull gaze, no life behind his eyes. After a moment, his voice finally rings out. "Has this one displeased you, little love?"

You feel an inherent wrongness about how your beloved husband is speaking presumably of himself as if he isn't even here, with a slight stumble back it answers his question well enough.

Dorrin slumps, like a wind up toy who's finished it's final dance. The voice that drifts through the air is so familiar yet leaves your brain trembling at the sheer magnitude of the being behind it even if unseen. "I apologize, this puppet has proven defective for its sole purpose. Rest assured, such an oversight will be rectified promptly. Only the best shall be allowed closest to you."

With a horrified expression you can only watch as Dorrin- what you know to be Dorrin is... Folded away. Limbs snapping together into a ball not unlike when a child is ready to toss away their doll. And it's... Not there anymore. No blink of an eye, no noise or sight, it was there and it wasn't. And now you stand in the empty living room of a home you've shared with someone you thought you knew so very well.

What do you do?

What can you do?

You can feel gazes on you still, the same when that thing would watch you while you rested together. You can try to move towards a door or even a window and find them consumed in darkness. There is no threat here, but you are not allowed to leave at the moment.

You don't know it yet, but Dorrin just wants to keep you safe in the home he's so carefully crafted for you alone. Tonight he'll leave a new puppet at your door, identical to the last hundred that had done something leading to any inconvenience on you. You've never noticed before, and he doesn't know how to condense himself into a small enough form to be loved by such a miniscule creature he's so deeply fallen for. But that puppets strings weren't good enough to remain hidden. The new one will be better.

Only the best for you.

He will ensure it.

(Basically what happens when an endless creature of Eldritch being falls for a little bitty human? Why not craft a puppet to express his love for them on a scale they can comprehend! But those fickle puppets- never perfect enough for his little love)