Remus And Lily Working Together As An Author And Editor

Remus and Lily working together as an author and editor

Happy International Asexuality Day!

ty for the tag <3

my first language is english, but because i grew up with my immigrant family i also know malayalam! i also know bits and pieces of hindi that i have picked up from relatives and bollywood movies haha. i also learned spanish in school but unfortunately i don’t remember much

tags: @moonystoast @elvenqueensworld @im-still-tryin-to-find-it

Language tag! When you get this in your inbox, respond with the languages you speak and tag three people ✨✨

I only speak english (and am still bad at it somehow), I know I’m boring. I am in the process of attempting to learn how to speak spanish though. I’m (also) very bad at it. And seem to not be getting better. But that’s okay I guess lol. 

Tagging: @theolivekiddo @wrhen @alushizugann

Okay, hear me out. A marauders fic of Sirius being genderfluid, Remus being a trangender man, James and/or Jily being bisexual, Peter aro/ace (if you include him) and Regulus being gender.

Absolutely! Especially since I have these headcanons anyway, so I loved writing this. Thanks for the prompt <3

~ “Remus? How did you know you were trans?” Asked Sirius one day, entirely out of the blue, causing Remus to pause for a second before answering. “Why do you want to know?”

“I’m just curious, that’s all.” Remus thought for a second.

“I just did. There wasn’t a time when I didn’t know. It’s not that I only liked boy clothes and stuff, I just knew that I was a boy.” Sirius was quiet.

“So you never felt like a girl, ever?”

“Nope.” Sirius was quiet, thinking. Remus picked up on it, as he always did

“Everything okay?” He asked.

“Yeah, yeah everything’s fine.” ~ Sirius would spend ages in front of the mirror, but not for the reason that everyone teased him about. He wasn’t grooming himself, or checking out his hair, he was... pondering. Some days he had no qualms about how he looked, he’d glance once at his flat chest and stubble and wouldn’t think twice. But other days it made him stop. Other days he shaved, and would let his hair down which he usually wore in a bun or ponytail.

One day he wore a skirt. He’d borrowed it from Marlene- without her knowing- and had put it on in front of the mirror. It looked good on him. He liked how it looked.

He dabbled in makeup sometimes. Just some eyeliner at first, and some nail varnish. Things he could get away with. Things that just enhanced his rebellious persona. But secretly he tried on lipstick, and blush and mascara. And along with the skirt and his long hair, it made him feel fantastic.

But other days it didn’t. Other days he didn’t want to put it on, and he was happy with his jeans and leather jacket.

And then there were some days when he liked it all. Nail varnish and a skirt with his hair tied up and stubble on his chin. He was honestly so confused.

She was honestly so confused. When she first tried out female pronouns, her heart sank in her chest. She liked them. They fit. They really fit. And oh god, what did that mean?

But then some days they didn’t fit. Some days he hated them, and he couldn’t even imagine using them. And he felt relieved, because he must have been wrong.

And then the next day, she wasn’t wrong.

Remus was trans. He’d been born a girl but felt like a boy. He’d gone from female pronouns to male pronouns. He’d gone from looking like a girl to being a boy.

Was that what Sirius was going through? But with Remus, it was consistent. He was always a boy, he always felt like a boy, and he never had any desire to look, act or be a girl.With Sirius, there were no set rules. He was a boy, then she was a girl, then she was both? Neither?

‘Seriously, brain, what the fuck?’ He had to tell Remus. Remus would understand. Remus could help.

“So... you remember when I asked how you knew you were trans?” Sirius asked a few days later. They were alone in the common room. James was out at Quidditch practice and Peter was somewhere in the Great Hall. Sirius and Remus had the sofa in front of the fireplace to themselves.

“Yeah?” “Well... I don’t know really know how to say this but... I might be too?” Remus stared wide eyed at him.

“Really? You think you’re a girl? Do you want me to use female pronouns?” “Hold on, calm down,” Sirius laughed, though he understood why Remus was jumping the gun a bit. Remus knew how important pronouns were to someone like him. He didn’t want to use the wrong ones for any length of time. “Look, the thing is. I don’t actually know. Because some days I feel like a girl, and some days I don’t. So I have no idea what I want. I just wanted to tell you.”

“Okay. Well, I really appreciate you telling me. And if you need me to change pronouns let me know.” “Thank you.”

“Do you have another name?” Sirius shook his head. The only thing that had never given him dysphoria was his name. He liked his name. He didn’t want to change it. A few weeks passed. Not much changed, but Sirius was glad that at least one of her friends knew what she going through, and that she could just talk to Remus about something relating to her random, unpredictable bursts of dysphoria and Remus would listen and understand, and try to help. She could go up to Remus and say “I’m a girl today,” and Remus would reply with “okay, ma’am” without hesitation. It was nice. Though it didn’t feel like enough. She still couldn’t wear everything she wanted, and on the day she felt like a girl her other friends would still see her as a boy.

She hoped James and Peter would accept her for being... whatever she was.

~ What Sirius didn’t realise was that Regulus was going through something very similar.

Regulus had never thought about gender before. In fact he hadn’t thought much about who he was at all. It wasn’t in his nature to question anything, a side-effect from growing up in a household with such set rules about how to think and act that there was really no room to explore.

But when he was around fifteen, he began to finally question things. And it all started because of a Gryffindor named James Potter.

Regulus had always been fascinated by James Potter, ever since he caught site of him from the Slytherin table in first year. All Regulus knew about James was that he was Sirius’s best friend, a friend that his parents mostly approved of since James was part of the Sacred Twenty Eight. But what Regulus didn’t know was that James was handsome and funny and talented and cool. He didn’t know that James had black messy hair that fell all over his face when it rained. He didn’t know that James could score three goals in a row during a Quidditch match. He didn’t know that James’s laugh was so contagious that even Regulus- who unlike his brother had mastered the familial trait of keeping a stiff upper lip- couldn’t help but crack a smile when he heard the boy laughing with his friends. But now he did, and his feelings were hard to ignore.

Regulus didn’t know if his feeling towards James were normal. He didn’t know what was normal. What did people feel like? His parents were cold and distant, so they were no example. But they were the only example he had.

But he knew that how he felt about James was more than what he felt about girls. And it terrified him. He was the heir to the Black name, the prodigal son. And in Walburga’s eyes, the only son.

But he didn’t like that label. He didn’t know why. It was the son part. It felt wrong to him. Ever since he’d started thinking about James in a way that scared him, he’d started thinking more about his status within his family, and what it meant.

It meant that he was to grow up and be the man of the house, to carry on the bloodline as the male heir.

Man, male, son.

It didn’t feel right. And the feeling grew and grew until he couldn’t ignore it anymore. He’d hear someone refer to him as a “he” and he overthought it until he realised that he hated how it sounded.

“She” didn’t sound much better, though it took Regulus a while to even accept the idea of trying out female pronouns. He did it once, just out of curiosity, and was relieved to find that they did nothing for him. So what was he feeling? Did other people feel like this? Surely not, but if he didn’t like being a boy or a girl then what the fuck was he supposed to do? What did that make him? What pronouns was he supposed to use that didn’t make him wince?Them? They?... oh.

Regulus. Their name was Regulus. They were in Slytherin.

That actually sounded... okay. They liked that. It suited them. They weren’t a boy or a girl. They were... Regulus. They were a person.

They were a person, who happened to really like James Potter.

~ Regulus’s feelings weren’t one-sided. James had noticed Regulus as well. He’d hid it as best he could, but there were times when he couldn’t help but stare. He noticed how good Regulus looked in green. How low and smooth Regulus’s voice was. How quiet Regulus was, and how much James wanted to talk to them.

But then there was Lily. Her beautiful red hair, those green eyes that flashed every time she spoke to him and the Scottish accent that made James melt every time she opened her mouth.

He was conflicted, to say the least. But his feelings for Lily were unreciprocated, so he allowed himself to ponder the possibility of what it would be like to date Regulus.

Would Sirius hate him? That was his main worry. He wasn’t worried about what his friends would think of him if he told them he was bi, because he knew he wasn’t the only one in his friend group. Sirius and Remus made that blatantly obvious. But if he was dating Sirius’s little brother? That was a different story.

But then, in seventh year, a miracle happened. James found himself dating Lily. The girl he’d liked since second year finally liked him back. He couldn’t believe it.

“If I’m being honest, I genuinely thought you liked Regulus.” She said one day. The topic of her changing her mind about him had somehow cropped up, and she’d stated this as a passing thought, but it made James stop dead. “Wait... you noticed?” Lily looked at him.

“You do like Regulus?!” James hesitated. “I suppose I did, yes. But I liked you too. So it was confusing.” And he hadn’t expected Lily to be the first person he came out to as bisexual.

~ Peter was suddenly surrounded by couples. Sirius and Remus, James and Lily. It’s not the couples themselves that bothered him, nor was he jealous. He quickly realised that he wasn’t jealous because he realised that he didn’t care about what they had. He was happy for them, yes. But he had no desire to partake in what they were doing.

It’s not that Peter had never been in a relationship before, because he had. Once. With a girl named Olivia. Olivia Blake from the Hufflepuff house. She was sweet, if a little scatty, and they enjoyed spending time in the greenhouses together. But Peter really only saw her as a friend, though he hadn’t yet worked out that that was how he felt. He thought that was how romance worked. If you liked spending time with someone and you got along well, then you might as well date them.

But he soon realised that that didn’t make much sense. Because then everyone would be dating everyone they’d ever interacted with if the interaction had gone well.So he thought perhaps he just needed to kiss her and then he’d start feeling a romantic attraction towards her.

But it didn’t happen like that. When he kissed her it felt like kissing a brick wall. It was just... nothing. He didn’t feel anything. And the thought of going any further than kissing was just... nothing. He really had no desire for anything romantic or sexual with Olivia.

Maybe it was just Olivia. Maybe it was girls. Maybe he was gay, like Sirius.

But no, the more he thought about it, the more he realised that he just wasn’t interested. And he never had been. He thought back through his teenage years, the years when all teenage boys were apparently at their horniest. But he hadn’t been at all. He hadn’t thought about sex. Well, he had. But mainly out of curiosity, rather than something that he was eager to try. Every time he thought about it and had been turned off by the thought, he just told himself that he was too young. ‘You’ll like it when you’re older’ he said every time.

Well he was older now, and he didn’t like it.

So what did that mean? Was he broken? Why didn’t he like something that everyone else did?

He tried, he really did. He dated Olivia for a year, desperately trying to feel something more than just platonic feelings towards her. And then he’d dated another girl when Olivia eventually broke up with him, but that relationship lasted such a short time that he didn’t even count it as a relationship. Again, he’d felt nothing.

And it really started to scare him. Surely there was something wrong with him.

But it was when he was looking around at all the different couples that he realised something: he wasn’t unhappy. The couples looked happy together, yes, but he was just as happy on his own. He didn’t feel like he was missing out, or that he should be sad that everyone was in a relationship when he wasn’t. He was perfectly content. Being in a romantic or sexual relationship would make him unhappy. So then, there couldn’t be something wrong with him. Because then he’d be affected by it, he’d be sad. But he wasn’t.

He was happy.

~ “Could you use female pronouns for me on the days I feel like a girl?” Asked Sirius. It had been a few months now since he’d told Remus how he felt, and he’d finally been ready to tell the others. James, Peter, Lily, Marlene, Dorcas. All of them. It was time they knew. “Of course! You’ll have to make sure you tell us though, so we don’t make a mistake,” said Lily, a sentiment which the entire group seemed to share. Sirius’s coming out had been successful, as he knew it would be. In fact, no one had been that surprised. And now he was finally able to be who he was. He even wore skirts sometimes, and it didn’t matter if anyone said something shitty about it, because they weren’t his friends, so they didn’t matter. They could say whatever the fuck they wanted. Sirius didn’t care, and neither did Remus, or James, or Peter or Lily or Marlene or Dorcas or...

He didn’t know how Regulus would react. In fact, he didn’t even tell him, not wanting to know the response. He just let Regulus find out for himself. And find out Regulus did. They came up to her a few days later and wanted to know why people were saying that Sirius was a girl now.

“I’m not a girl,” Sirius replied calmly. “Well... I am today. But sometimes I’m not.” “That doesn’t make sense.”

“I think it does. Sometimes I feel like a girl, and sometimes I feel like a boy. And sometimes I feel like nothing.” Regulus’s confused look dropped slightly, and they seemed shy all of a sudden. “Nothing?”

“Yeah.” “What do you mean by nothing?” Sirius thought for a second.“Well... I mean nothing. I can’t explain it. I suppose some days I’m just a boy and a girl and it feels like nothing.” “Oh.” Sirius looked at him curiously. Regulus had on an expression that Sirius wasn’t used to.

“Why?” She asked, rather gently. Regulus fiddled with their sleeves before answering.

“I feel like nothing too.” “You... do?” Sirius was shocked. Regulus felt like her? The golden boy? The favourite son? The only son? Was like her?

“Yeah. But all the time. And not because I feel like both a boy or a girl. I feel like neither. I don’t know what it means.” “Oh. Well... it’s okay to feel like that.” She wasn’t sure exactly what to say. The two hardly spoke much, and a serious and personal conversation such as this... Sirius was out of her depth.

“You think?” “Of course. How, uh... how do you want to be referred as?”

“Well, I don’t like male pronouns, or female ones. So I worked out that the gender neutral ones were they and them. So, maybe like that?” “They? So like, ‘Regulus is doing their homework, aren’t they’?” Regulus nodded.

“Yeah, like that. Exactly like that.” Sirius smiled. “Okay.” Regulus smiled back. It had been a while since the two had shared a smile.

Remus: What do I get if I win?

Sirius: I don't know. A kiss?

Remus: How will I reach you? Do I have to bend down?

Sirius: Bitch I will climb you.

fuck you peter

they could’ve been happy