I Love Being At Work And In A Good Mood.

I love being at work and in a good mood.

Whistling happily as I look up the contact information of work safety authorities so i can hand in my firms insane and careless breaches of basic safety.

The process for setting up hardware that can kill you is: "Whoever can do it. No knowledge or training required. The checklist for what to do is inside the heads of some people in the firm... Probably...maybe, and if those people randomly are near they will tell you what they think they remember they know"

I had a hardware setup that KILLS YOU if you touch the wrong parts. And it had been running FOR A MONTH before someone said "I... seem to remember us being told that the rules say you have to print and fill out a risk assessment and hang it on the safety rail?"

Goodie!

I am not... entierly happy about how many "recover from trauma tip" lists thing I have done and found super helpful

one of the more valuable things I’ve learned in life as a survivor of a mentally unstable parent is that it is likely that no one has thought through it as much as you have. 

no, your friend probably has not noticed they cut you off four times in this conversation. 

no, your brother didn’t realize his music was that loud while you were studying. 

no, your bff or S.O. doesn’t remember that you’re on a tight deadline right now.

no, no one else is paying attention to the four power dynamics at play in your friend group right now.  

a habit of abused kids, especially kids with unstable parents, is the tendency to notice every little detail. We magnify small nuances into major things, largely because small nuances quickly became breaking points for parents. Managing moods, reading the room, perceiving danger in the order of words, the shift of body weight….it’s all a natural outgrowth of trying to manage unstable parents from a young age. 

Here’s the thing: most people don’t do that. I’m not saying everyone else is oblivious, I’m saying the over analysis of minor nuances is a habit of abuse. 

I have a rule: I do not respond to subtext. This includes guilt tripping, silent treatments, passive aggressive behavior, etc. I see it. I notice it. I even sometimes have to analyze it and take a deep breath and CHOOSE not to respond. Because whether it’s really there or just me over-reading things that actually don’t mean anything, the habit of lending credence to the part of me that sees danger in the wrong shift of body weight…that’s toxic for me. And dangerous to my relationships. 

The best thing I ever did for myself and my relationships was insist upon frank communication and a categorical denial of subtext. For some people this is a moral stance. For survivors of mentally unstable parents this is a requirement of recovery. 

Yeeeep. I get quite grumpy whenever I am being told how I will use my pc.

I will break code and hack shit until it works however I think is reasonable.

And the fact that microsoft tries to resist is just adorable.

“program is preventing shutdown” ..heh… i tried playing nice….. i tried giving you the chance to die on your own terms… but now, you’ve done it. now you’ve Reeeally done it. so here’s what’s going to happen. i’m going to hold down the power button. manually. and i’m going to hold it down for as LONG as it takes…. for you to QUIT. RUNNING. you think youre important? you think your program is.. IMPORTANT?!?? listen to me. no program…. no matter what. no matter how… “important” you THINK you are…. NO. FUCKING. PROGRAM. is ever gonna stop ME from shutting down THIS. COMPUTER.

“but it wasn’t that bad”

did it hurt? did you feel scared? unsafe? were you embarrassed? humiliated? terrified? did you feel confused on why? does it keep you up at night? do you avoid being in a similar situation? did you cry? did you want to cry? who told you it wasn’t that bad?

SQL nearly always.

SQL is based on relational algebra, meaning you have a mathematical garantee for data validity.

And it is well tested, and many automation tools to do it for you. No-sql sacrifices that. ( Note, any category which starts with "no-" is a badly defined category. Always"

No-SQL really only have a use-case when:

1: Your database is so big it needs to be on multiple servers and cannot be broken down to smaller databases

2: You need the database to sync very quickly within itself.

If both of those are true, then SQL might not be the right choice.

And... 99% of databases do not need this. Unless you are making Facebook, twitter or similar you have no need for this.

No-SQL is mostly a bad choice being pushed by Google and Amazon selling cloud solutions ( "cloud solutions" meaning "You have no right to know anytjing about how we store your users data" ) which is done so the big corporations do not have to put too much work into their services and to keep their users ( developers ) in the dark about what is actually happening.

It is much easier to steal your users data when they have no idea about access and what is stored where. Google SPECIFICALLY writes that they WILL access the data you store on their cloud solutions for "business purposes".

Learn SQL, it is not hard, get a automation program to set up your database on a server you actually control. Which can include renting server space.

That is not only the cheaper and more efficient solution in nearly all cases, it comes with the added benefit of not selling YOUR users out to big corp.

If a corporation say they take good care of your data, and use Google, Amazon or certain Microsoft services... they are lying.

Software engineers, how often do you find you’re using SQL vs NoSQL solutions for your systems?