Better Off Broken PART TWO

Better Off Broken PART TWO

this is the second and final part to better off broken, so click the link to read that first

synopsis: Spencer Reid finally gets a chance to meet his little boy’s teacher after always being away on a case for all the other opportunities. Though, the single father Dr. Reid was not expecting his son’s kindergarten teacher to be a charming young woman who might possibly make him forget the vow he took to swear off romantic involvements. (dual point of view). (not edited so excuse errors)

content warnings: past relationship trauma, a little bit of self deprecation, 18+ scenes, fluff…

Spencer and I have been texting quite a bit lately. It’s usually just to catch up and talk about Atlas, but it’s still nice.

I want to ask him out on a real date, but I’m not even sure how I would go about that. We’ve only known each other a month and a half, and I don’t even know if he feels the same way I do. I’m not sure if I want to know.

If I don’t know how he feels, I can keep this little fantasy in my head where we’re secretly pining after each other.

But every time we text or he comes into my classroom when he’s picking Atlas up (which has only been twice, but it still happened), I think about asking him out, just ripping the bandaid off.

I feel something between us, a type of connection, but I don’t know if he feels it too. We get a little flirty sometimes (or at least I think it’s flirty), but it never goes past that. It’s always just a few smiles and some slightly suggestive - not in a sexual way - words, but never more than that.

The Valentine’s day party is coming up, and Spencer has already told me he’ll be there. I’m excited to see him again, but I worry that I’ll make it obvious that I like him. Although, maybe I should make it obvious. Maybe I should ask him out that day. It would be pretty ballsy. I think I’m just going to fucking do it.

—————

“Are you excited for the Valentine’s day party, Atlas?” I ask my son as I lace up my red converse.

He’s already dressed and waiting for me by the door, per usual. He nods, checking his watch. This kid is so much like me, it’s scary.

“Since it’s not until later, I’ll drop you off then I’m going to pick up some supplies just in case Ms. Y/n needs more, okay?”

“Okay,” Atlas says with one nod of his head.

“You’re a man of many words, A,” I chuckle softly, a bright smile on my face. I adore this little boy with every ounce of my being.

Atlas waits for me to finish getting ready then he grabs my hand and we head down to my car. Eventually, I’ll get us a house. I’ve been saving half of my paycheck every month for things like that. Maybe I’ll buy a house in the suburbs close to the school. I think Atlas would like to have a backyard to himself. Not that he’s the type of kid to play outside in the dirt, but he likes to read outside and listen to the birds chirp.

I convinced Atlas to wear a red button up today just to be a little festive. He agreed even though he usually wears blue on Tuesdays.

I drive him to school and make sure he gets to the building okay before I head to the store. I’ve never stepped foot in a Hobby Lobby, but I want to help Y/n just in case she needs it.

I grab a bunch of little Valentine’s day decorations for the kids to put on their boxes. I definitely look silly doing this, but I don’t mind.

“These for anyone special?” The young lady at the register asks me as she scans the items.

“I-uh no. They’re for my son’s class,” I say, but my cheeks turn the color of the red hearts. They’re technically for Y/n, and she is someone special. But I barely admit that to myself, let alone out loud.

“You’re a dad? There’s no way, you look so young,” she chuckles softly, twirling her hair around her finger.

She’s flirting with me. I used to not be able to detect things like that, but I’ve gotten better at reading people. Being a behavioral analyst helped with that.

“Thanks,” I say nonchalantly and pay for the decorations. I leave quickly then head to the grocery store to get some cookies for the class.

Eventually, it’s time to head to the school for the party. I’m one of the first parents there.

“Dr. Reid,” Y/n smiles and takes the box of cookies I bought. “You are just a helpful man, huh?”

I grin softly. “I do the best I can.”

“Nice tie,” she looks up at me, taking my pink tie in her hand. I resist the urge to tell her to pool me down by it then kiss her right then and there. Good thing I’m a professional at self control now.

“Thank you,” I chuckle slightly.

Eventually, all the parents that could make it are here and we start helping the kids decorate their card boxes.

Atlas and I made cards last night for all his classmates. We put little heart shaped suckers into the animal themed Valentine’s Day cards.

It takes nearly two hours for all the kids to finish decorating their boxes, the classroom is a mess of paper, glitter glue, felt hearts, and more. The kids go around, slipping their cards into everyone’s boxes.

Atlas seems to be having a good time. He decorated his box as neatly as he could. He’s very particular about things.

Eventually, the kids clean up a little bit and school is let out. The parents say goodbye to Ms. Y/n and the other parents, and it’s just me, Atlas, and Y/n in here.

“The parties always make my room a wreck,” she laughs softly, brushing her hair out of her face.

“We can help clean up,” I say.

“You don’t have to do that. I’ve got this,” she assures me.

“Hmm. Nope. I think we’re going to help. Aren’t we, Atlas?”

My son nods. “Mhm.”

Y/n chuckles, shaking her head. God, I’ve got to stop staring at her.

“Fine, but no complaining since you wanted this, Dr. Reid,” she points an accusing finger at me.

I raise my hands in the air innocently. “Yes ma’am.”

Atlas and I help her clean up for at least half an hour. Kids are messy.

“Thank you so much,” Y/n sighs, tossing her hair out of her face. “You’re an angel.”

Little does she know she looks like an angel, and I’d like her to show me heaven for a night.

I blush, and look down at my shoes. “I’m always happy to help.”

“Atlas did you have fun?” She asks.

“Yes ma’am,” he nods, a slight smile on his face. He’s holding his decorated box.

She smiles at him. “Good!” Then she turns her attention back to me. “I have something for you.”

“For me?” I raise my eyebrows.

“Mhm. But you’re not allowed to look at it until you get home.”

“Well, now I’m intrigued,” I chuckle.

“No cheating, doc.” She grabs something from her desk then slips it into my front pocket.

I can’t help but notice the smell of her hair and tingle at her touch, even if it was through clothes. It’s been way too long since I’ve been touched. Lily was the last person I even kissed.

And as much as I want to pull Y/n into me right now, I have a promise to keep. A promise to myself and to my son.

“Do not open it until you’re home,” she says again, stern voiced.

“Okay, okay,” I laugh softly.

She grins up at me. “Drive safe.”

“You too. Are you leaving right now, we can walk you out?”

“No, I’ve got to do some lesson planning. But thank you for the offer,” Y/n says sweetly.

Atlas and I make it home about fifteen minutes later, and he sits down on the couch with a book.

“What are you thinking for dinner, bud?” I ask him, looking in the fridge for what I could cook later.

“Spaghetti,” he tells me. “What did the note say?”

“Note?” I know what he’s talking about, but for some reason I feel the need for him to clarify.

“From Ms. Y/n.”

“I haven’t read it yet,” I tell him.

“She said to open it when you get home. We’re home.”

I laugh a little. He’s a very straight forward young man.

“I’ll open later, buddy,” I say, looking over at him sitting on the couch. Well, I look at the back of his head.

I take the beef out of the freezer for it to thaw then join my son on the couch. The note in my pocket is burning a hole through the fabric of my pants. I’m pretty certain I have an idea of what it says, and I’m not ready to reject her.

After dinner, while Atlas is in the shower - he showers on his own, but keeps the door open so I can hear if he needs me - I take the note out of my pocket. I unfold it and my heart both flutters and drops at the same time.

It doesn’t take me long to decipher the “code” of the note. She wrote the words “Will you go on a date with me?” using elements from the period table and only putting their atomic mass. She’s definitely using my love for chemistry to win me over.

It’s the cheesiest, most nerdy Valentine’s Day card I’ve ever seen. I would absolutely love it if six years ago I didn’t swear off relationships and dating. I do absolutely love it actually, but I can’t agree to what it asks.

As much as I want to ignore it and pretend like she didn’t ask me this question, I know I have to let her down sooner than later. It’s the gentlemanly thing to do.

After I get Atlas to bed and I’m in my pjs, I call her. My stomach is knotted tightly. I hate myself for this.

—————

“Spencer, hey!” I answer the phone once I see his contact pop up on my screen. “You must’ve read the note.”

“I did,” he admits, but the tone in his voice makes me want to figure out a way to take the note back through the screen.

“And?” I question, my intestines tying themselves in knots.

He sighs. Shit. “Y/n… I- I can’t.”

“Right,” I laugh awkwardly. “You know, just- uh forget I asked. Which I guess technically I didn’t ask, the note did.” More awkward laughs spill out of me. “Anyway…”

“It’s not as if I don’t want to. I just can’t. I hope you understand?”

“Yeah, no, sure. Totally,” I ramble. Oh my God what am I saying? “It’s all good.”

“I’m sorry,” he says, and it makes me want to slam my head into the headboard behind me.

“No!” I practically yell into his ear. “No worries. It’s okay.”

“Okay…”

“It’s getting late, huh? I should probably go to bed. Goodnight.” I hang up before he can even get the ‘G’ sound out in response.

Embarrassing. As. Fuck.

How the hell am I going to see him again and not melt into a puddle of humiliation right in the spot?

And what the fuck does he mean by he ‘can’t’? He said it’s not that he doesn’t want to. So he wants to, but he can’t? What does he have a girlfriend I don’t know about? I feel like I would know if he did.

In my head, before I have him the note, this went a lot better. He got home and read it then called me right away with a date and a time he’d pick me up. I’d wear a pretty dress, one that I haven’t been able to wear in forever because I haven’t had an occasion to do so. He would wear a suit like he was the first time I met him. We’d both agree to not have sex because it’s too soon, but he’d kiss me at the doorstep, maybe for a little too long.

But movies, books, and tv are fucking liars because instead of that, I got a “I can’t.” What the hell kind of story is this?

I lean back into my bed and let out a dramatic sigh. I shouldn’t have asked him out. We could’ve just stayed friends.

I just thought I wasn’t alone in the attraction. I thought he felt something too. Apparently I am really bad at reading people. Good think he’s the profiler, and I’m not.

But hey, if I ruined our friendship at least it wasn’t a long standing one. We’ve only been friends for almost two months.

Still, I’ll be sad to see him go. He’s nice to talk to. He’s smart, intimidatingly so, and he’s the most gentlemanly person I’ve ever met. Every time we talk, he asks how I’m doing, and I know it’s not just a formality, he genuinely cares. And hell, he’s not a bad sight to look at. Okay, he’s a very pleasing sight to look at.

Maybe I was mistaking friendly feelings for the romantic kind, but we’ve been flirting for at least a month, so I thought we shared a mutual liking/attraction to each other.

Perhaps he’s the type to flirt with people and it mean nothing. Maybe he’s just one of those guys who’s friendly and accidentally flirts. I may never know because the only time I’ve seen him interact with other women was in the classroom, and he obviously wasn’t flirting with the moms.

But in order to not lose our friendship, I can pretend like I wasn’t embarrassed out of my mind as long as he can pretend I never asked him out. It can just be something we sweep under the rug and leave there to suffocate.

The next few weeks are still awkward, but Spencer and I still talk, well text. Written communication is much less confrontational than verbal.

Spencer: Do you want to grab lunch on Saturday? I need to talk to you.

Oh fuck, here we go. The awkward “You’ve ruined our friendship, and it’s not the same anymore” talk. I know this one all too well because my I had to have it with one of my old best friends.

We were friends for years and years, then out of the blue, he kissed me. Honestly, I always thought he was gay because he never had a girlfriend, but apparently it was because he liked me - or was in love with me as he claimed.

But we were best friends, and I couldn’t see him as anything else. He made a point to not talk to me after I rejected his kiss, and if we did talk, it was full of short, choppy sentences on his end.

Eventually, I had to give him the aforementioned talk. It was painful for both sides.

And now I feel it coming from Spencer.

Good thing Spring Break is now approaching, and I won’t have to face him or Atlas for a whole week, not that any of this has to do with Atlas.

“Y/n,” Spencer starts. His sitting across from me at the cafe we chose to have lunch at. He looks amazing in the sweater he’s wearing, and I really wish I could put a bag over his head so I couldn’t see him; but then again I’d still see his body and his body is just as pretty as his face.

“Spencer,” I say awkwardly, trying to force out a little laugh.

He starts to talk at the same time I’m trying to say something else.

“Go ahead,” he says. Always the gentleman.

“No, you go,” I insist. “You said we need to talk, so you can talk.”

He sighs softly, some of his hair blowing back from the air. “I’m sorry.”

This time I do laugh a little. “You’re sorry? Sorry for what?”

“I’m sorry I made this so weird.”

“You made this weird? I’m the one who asked you out. If anyone made it weird, it’s me,” I say with another chuckle.

This time he joins me in the soft laugh. Spencer shakes his head. “No, no. You didn’t. I just didn’t know how to handle things after that. It’s on me for being immature about it.”

Stop making me fall for you, you asshat. “It’s not big deal. Really,” I say with an assuring smile.

He smiles back, and I’m pretty sure I could be blinded by that pretty of a sight. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” I nod. “We can just pretend it never happened. I would say forget, but one of us has an eidetic memory.”

Spencer grins, rolling his eyes. “Well, that one sounds like a real pain in the ass.”

“He is,” I chuckle.

We’re back. I think.

He laughed too, and for a minute, we hold eye contact. Something in those hazel eyes tells me he wasn’t lying when he said “It’s not as if I don’t want to.” Because if I know men at all, and I’m pretty sure I do at least a little bit, it looks like Spencer definitely wants to go on that date, maybe more than that. His eyes rake down to my v neck of my top.

“Anyway,” I say with an awkward chuckle, breaking whatever the hell just happened between us. “How’s your sabbatical been?”

Spencer’s eyes snap back up to mine. “It’s been great. It’s really nice to get to be with Atlas, but I am ready to go back to work next week.”

“Next week already? Wow, time is flying by.”

“Yes, yes it is,” he nods. “Before we know it, the school year will be over”

“Oh God, don’t say that,” I laugh softly.

“I’m not ready for Atlas to be in grade school. How is he getting so old?” Spencer says, shaking his head with disbelief.

“It’s crazy how years go by so fast,” I agree. “I’m not ready to not have him in class. You didn’t hear this, but he’s my favorite.”

Spencer grins. “Your secret’s safe with me.”

—————

So I am a fucking dumbass. That’s the conclusion i’ve made after 40 years of being considered a genius.

I’m a dumbass because six years ago I made a promise, and now I want to break it. No, I crave to break it.

This woman is making me crazy. She’s consuming my mind, and the only way to not think about her is to distract myself with something else.

Which means it’s a good thing I’m back at work now. I’m on the jet, flying to Missouri and sitting next to Emily and Luke. I’m staring out the window and thinking about two things: Atlas and Y/n. Which seems to be my entire mind lately.

Atlas is at school, and Florence, his nanny, will he picking him up and taking care of him until I get home. I trust her, have for years, but every time I’m not there, I worry my mind off. Hell, I worry my mind off when I am there.

And then there’s Y/n. Y/n who every time I see, I want to grab her face in my hands and press my lips to hers. Y/n who I’d be willing to risked getting shamed upon for being with my son’s teacher just to be with her. Y/n who I can’t have because I can’t have anyone.

Maybe my promise was a good thing because I sure as hell don’t deserve her. She’s too good for me. In every way.

Maybe Lily was right to leave me. Maybe I’m too much or not enough. Y/n deserves better than what I could give her.

“You okay over there, kid?” Luke asks, eyebrows furrowed as he looks at me.

I glance over at him and nod. It’s a little funny how they still call me kid when I have my own child. That’s beside the point though.

“You sure? You look like you’re contemplating existence.”

“Maybe I am,” I shrug with a short laugh.

He looks at me even more worried.

“I was kidding, Luke.”

“But something’s up. I can tell,” he says.

“It’s not a big deal. I’ll get over it.”

“If it’s got you looking like this, then it is a big deal,” Emily chimes in.

I look over to my right, giving her a thin lipped smile. “It’s nothing.”

“You’re such a liar.”

“Fine,” I groan. “It’s… a woman.”

“Oh my God. The good doctor has lady problems?” Luke laughs.

“And that’s why I was being quiet,” I roll my eyes.

“Ignore him, go on,” JJ says.

The entire jet is now interested in my issues. Great.

I take an exasperated breath. “I like this woman… really like her…”

“That doesn’t seem like an issue,” Emily says questioningly.

“Unless she doesn’t like you back?” Luke asks.

“Well, she asked me out,” I inform them.

JJ raised her brows. “Yeah, I’m really not seeing the problem here. The girl you like asked you out. Isn’t that a good thing?”

This does probably sound stupid. They don’t know the reason why I haven’t dated anyone since Lily. In fact, I don’t think they know the real reason why Lily and I broke up. Im sure they figured it out though.

Morgan knew. And it’s times like these where I wish I still saw him every day because I think he would understand what I’m trying to say right now.

“Because I can’t be with anyone.”

“What does that mean?” Rossi asks.

“I can’t date anyone. It’s just… I don’t know how to explain it.”

“Because of Atlas?” JJ asks softly. “Because I know he’s young, but he’s mature. I think he would understand if you started dating someone. He’d understand that she isn’t his mom, but you care for her.”

JJ’s a mother. She gets this. Part of it at least.

“I can’t bring someone into his life that may not be there permanently,” I say in a low voice. “I don’t want him to be sad because I brought someone into his life that isn’t going to be there forever. He’s different. He doesn’t process things the way other people do.

I can tell by the way they’re looking at me that they know I’m not just talking about Atlas; I’m talking about myself. I let someone in that isn’t here to stay. I’m not sure if I can handle someone leaving again. Not after there’s been so many: my dad, Elle, Gideon, Emily more than once, and then Lily.

I hate the looks of sympathy my friends/coworkers are giving me. I want to hide away and push this out of my mind.

“Spencer,” Tara says gently. “You can’t not allow yourself to be happy just because there’s a chance at potential heartbreak. That’s just how life works. We let people in, and they either stay a part of our lives or they don’t. And nine times out of ten, when they don’t it’s a good thing.”

“Are those real statistics or guesses?” I ask, raising an eyebrow.

“Spencer!” Emily rolls her eyes, but laughs a little.

“Sorry,” I chuckle. “Okay. Can we stop talking about my thing now? Let’s change the subject.”

“If you promise to think about it.”

“Think about what?” I ask.

“Letting her in. Giving it a chance,” Tara tells me.

I nod my head that’s that. We change the topic.

—————

It’s Spring Break, and Spencer and I haven’t talked in a week and a half. I’m not sure what’s up with him, but I don’t want to brother him in case he’s working.

So instead, I occupy my time with books, friends, and iced coffee. The usual, really.

I wish I knew what went on inside Spencer’s mind. At least about me. His words say one thing but his eyes say another.

He says he can’t and that we’re just friends, but when he thinks I’m not paying attention, I catch him looking at me for a little too long. I catch his eyes raking down my body. With any other man I’d be a little offended, but I want him to undress me with his eyes. I want him to picture me without my pretty blouses and cute pants. I want him to enjoy the thought.

I’m starting to think about him way too much. Maybe I’m touched starved or suffering from attention deprivation, but I want him even more now than I did before.

But I don’t just want him for his looks or for his sex appeal. I want him for him. Because he’s a great person, and I think he’d make an excellent boyfriend.

But maybe he doesn’t want a girlfriend. Maybe he just wants to stay single or focus on Atlas, which is totally understandable. Or maybe he’s had a bad history with relationships; I may not be a profiler like him, but I kind of sense some relationship baggage. And then there’s the possibility that he just doesn’t like me, but (not to sound cocky) I doubt it.

Maybe I should just quit pining over him. Men with emotional baggage aren’t exactly the best in relationships. They’re projectors. I don’t think Spencer would be this way, but I don’t really know do I?

The much needed week off is way too short, and I’m back in the classroom with the kiddos. After math and science, I let them tell me and each other what they did over the break.

Atlas says his daddy was gone to work, but he seems happy when the kids say his dad being an FBI agent is really cool.

Speaking of his dad, I wonder how he’s doing or if he’s back home. We haven’t texted in a while, and I’m starting to feel like I’ve done something wrong. I decide to text him to see what’s up.

—————

Y/n’s name and number pop up on my phone screen, and I can’t help but smile a little. I’ve missed her.

Y/n: Hey, what’s up?

Spencer: Just waiting for school to get out. I got home late yesterday, so Atlas was already in bed.

Y/n: Awh I’m sorry. I’m sure he’s excited to see you. And this is going to sound a little silly but I almost thought you ghosted me.

Ghosting: When a person cuts off all communication with their friends or the person they're dating, with zero warning or notice before hand.

I know this slang term from being around the younger generations so much on cases.

A ping of guilt jabs me in the chest. She thought I was blowing her off. I find myself not wanting her to feel any type of sadness ever again.

Spencer: What? No, of course not. I’ve just been busy.

Y/n: If you want to get together to catch up, I’m free this weekend?

Spencer: I don’t think I can this weekend. I’m taking Atlas to the zoo. He likes animals.

I realize it may sound like I’m blowing her off.

Spencer: Next weekend may work for me though. If the offer still stands?

Y/n: See you next weekend:)

I smile to myself.

I haven’t been that busy. Well, I have but not too busy to not text. The truth is, I’ve been avoiding her a little. I still don’t know what to do about the promise and me liking her, so I’ve been pushing her aside. I feel bad, really bad, but I don’t know what else to do.

For all I know, she’s probably lost interest in me by now. I turned her down, and I know some people are able to move on really fast after that. What if she’s already seeing someone else?

Now, a ping of jealousy jabs at my chest.

God, I’m a mess.

“So how was work?” Y/n asks me, a friendly smile on her face. A smile I have grown to adore.

“It was good. This case took a little longer than expected, but overall it was successful,” I inform her.

She nods, taking a sip from her coffee.

“How was your work?” I ask.

“It’s been good. The kids are progressing, some more than others, but that’s how it always is,” she says.

Just as I’m about to say something else, she says, “I think the school is talking about moving Atlas up to second grade next year, but you didn’t hear that from me. They’re planning to call you and see what your thoughts are.”

“Really?” I grin softly. “Wow. I mean he’s already younger than the kids in his class, but I suppose that’s a hypocritical reason for me to say no. I was 12 when I graduated.”

“High school?” Her pretty eyes widen at me.

I can’t help but chuckle. “Mhm.”

“Damn, Spencer. I knew you were brilliant, but damn. That’s five years younger than I was. Five whole years,” she laughs with disbelief.

I blush, enjoying the slight praise she’s giving me.

The lunch goes on, and the two of us talk about whatever our words lead to next.

“Hey, Atlas,” I call for my son then pat the couch cushion next to me. “Come here.”

He puts his action figure down and joins me on the couch.

“I have to ask you something.”

“What?” He looks up at me curiously.

“So you know how I told you promises are meant to be kept?”

He nods, looking at me as if to ask “Where is this going, Dad?”

“So Daddy made a promise a while ago, and I’m not sure if I should still keep it.”

“It depends on the promise,” he says. Not what I was expecting. “Would breaking it hurt anyone?”

“Not physically, but there’s a potential that it might emotionally later down the road,” I tell him.

Atlas ponders on that.

“But it may not. And it may make me very happy.”

“If it makes you happy, then I think it’s okay. But I don’t know, you did promise.”

Exactly where I’m at on this situation, kid.

“What if I did a trial run, huh?” I ask. “I break the promise just for a little bit, and if it goes well, the promise is long forgotten.”

“But, Daddy you said you don’t forget anything.”

“Metaphorically forgotten,” I correct myself.

He nods. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

Atlas nods again. “What was the promise?”

“How about I tell you if it’s metaphorically forgotten?”

He furrows his eyebrows. “Fine. Can I go read now?”

“Yep,” I nod and ruffle his wavy hair.

I’m going to talk to her soon. I’m going to break, well, bend the promise. If things go smoothly, then it’s broken for good. But if not, then I’ll put a bandaid on that damn promise and never bend it again.

That’s a lot of pressure.

Good thing Easter is coming up. Y/n isn’t having a full easter party for the kids and parents, but I know she’s doing something for just the kids. So I have a plan.

—————

I’m done with this shit. I know there’s something between us, and he can’t deny it anymore. He can turn me down again, but he can’t say there isn’t some type of spark going through the both of us.

Text time I see him, I’m going to tell him to quit being a child and start owning up to it. It just may be a little difficult to be stern when he’s so goddamn pretty.

There’s a knock on my classroom door just as I’m packing up to leave. I just cleaned the room since Easter eggs and plastic grass was scattered across the floor.

I open the door. Spencer. Well, maybe this is my time.

“Hey,” he says with a soft grin.

“Hey, where’s Atlas?” I ask.

“I just dropped him off for a play date with Henry and Michael…. we need to talk.”

“Yes we do,” I say. I decide to go for it. “Me first. Spencer, you can’t keep pretending that there isn’t something between us,” I gesture from me to him and back to me with my pointer finger. “You can reject me all you want, but I know the truth. I like you. I want you. And I know you feel something like that too, so can you please just for one minute stop with the ‘I can’ts’ and ‘We’re just friends’ bullshit, because that’s what it is. Bullshit. And I know you’ve probably been through something that’s made you this way, but it’s okay to let people in. Actually in life, we kind of all have to suck it up and let people in.”

He laughs softly. Actually laughs. My face turns beat red, and I’m both embarrassed and angry. This isn’t funny.

“Are you done?” He asks, and I kind of want to strangle him for that.

“Excuse me?”

“I mean,” Spencer chuckles, licking his lips. “Is that all? Because what I’m about to do has to do with what you just said, but I don’t want to cut you off.”

For a moment, I think he’s going to kiss me, but instead he hands me something.

“What the hell am I supposed to do with an Easter egg, Spencer? Do you know how many of these I’ve cleaned up today.”

He chuckles again, running a hand through his hair. “Open it.”

Expecting to find chocolate, I open the pink and yellow egg. There’s a folded up piece of paper. I unfold it, and a grin grows on my face when I read it. I shake my head, laughing softly.

The note reads:

Yes, I will go on a date with you.

And there’s a drawn on Easter bunny to the side of the sentence. He definitely drew it himself.

“You know,” he says, “if the offer still stands.”

I fight the urge to scream “Yes!” in his face. “I don’t know. Usually response times take less than an hour. This one took two months.”

Spencer’s face turns red, and he chuckles nervously. “Do I not get a grace period?”

“I suppose,” I say dramatically. “Only because you’re so cute.”

The red of his face deepens. “Oh yeah?”

Butterflies. Everywhere.

“Mhm. Now ignore what I said earlier because I’m a little embarrassed.”

Spencer grins. “Hmm no. It was kind of hot.”

I walk up to him, my arms resting on top of his shoulders. “Oh?”

“Mhm. Badass,” he nods, smiling down at me.

I stare up at him, my breath getting caught in my throat when I see him lean down closer to me. His face is not even an inch away from mine. He’s still hesitant, still anxious.

It’s me who closes the gap between our lips. I may have been the one to kiss him first, but he takes the lead. His lips are crashing into mine as if he’s been waiting for a long time to do this. I know I have. His hands are cupping the sides of my face, and I feel like he’s devouring me, but I like it. I like how hungry he is. I like being craved.

We don’t even care if a custodian or the principal comes in right now, all we care about is this kiss, is each other. Lips, teeth, and tongue collide together, and my heart is skipping so many beats I might go into cardiac arrest.

I’m the one to pull away too. I look up at him, and his eyes stay closed briefly until he meets my gaze with a smile.

“I’ve wanted this since we met,” I whisper, licking my lips, tasting him.

“Me too.” His words are just as soft as mine.

Spencer is backing me toward my room, but he doesn’t stop kissing me. His hands unbutton my blouse as we move. We finally make it to my bedroom, and neither of us care to shut the door. I live alone, so it doesn’t matter.

We’ve been dating for nearly two months now, and we haven’t had sex yet, not for any particular reason just that we haven’t had the opportunity to. But tonight, with Atlas with his friends and summer break having just started… well, here we are.

The rest of our clothes come off in between kisses and touches. We’re eager, craving each other.

Spencer sits down, watching me take off my panties and kick them to the side. I grip onto his shoulders and swing my leg over him, straddling his lap. Our mouths find each other again, like they’re finding their way home.

The touching and teasing from both parts gets to be too much after a while of his fingers crazy the bundle of nerves inbetween my legs and my hands playing with his length.

Soon enough, he’s slipping on a condom, and I’m lowering myself onto him. We both let out moans as he enters me.

I bite my lip, trying to be quiet. It’s been too long since either of us have done this.

Spencer grabs my chin gently and forces my teeth to release my lip from its confinement.

“Don’t hold back. I want to hear you,” he says, his voice so low and raspy that my already pulsing core gets butterflies.

I begin rocking my hips back and forth slowly, and his hands caress my body wherever they feel fit. Both of our sounds are filling the apartment, and we don’t even care if we’re disturbing my neighbors.

After a while of slow movements, Spencer decides to take control. He pulls me close to him, my chest right in his face, his arm wrapped around my back. His other arm leans behind him, stabilizing the both of us. He bucks his hips up quickly and harsh, making my moans grow louder. Spencer‘s mouth takes hold of my nipple, and the sensation is amazing.

My hands roam his back, nails scratching down it.

“Shit, Y/n…” he says breathlessly. “I’m about to come.”

I whine, tugging at his hair. “Me too.”

The two of us finish, one right after the other. After we’re all cleaned up, and our breaths are mostly caught, we lay down in my bed. Spencer’s head rests on my tits, and my nails scratch his back, this time lightly.

“That was amazing, beautiful,” he says with a smile I can’t quite see but I can feel.

I grin, blowing my sweat-laced hair out of my eye. “It was incredible.”

—————

In the morning, Y/n touches my face gently. “The five o’clock shadow you have going on right now is so sexy.”

I blush, a grin plastered on my face. “You in nothing but a t shirt is so sexy.”

Y/n smiles and rolls her eyes.

I spent decades building up these walls, and it only took her a few months to get through them. For six years, I was so scared of being hurt again that I almost missed out on this. I’ve learned that healing isn’t not getting hurt again, healing his knowing that you may get hurt again and still allowing yourself to live a happy life. It’s accepting what happened to you, and not forgetting but forgiving whatever self-blame you hold in your heart.

I’m on the healing journey, and Atlas is too even if he doesn’t know it, and I’m glad Y/n is here with us. I’m glad I was able to break the vow I took years ago. I guess some promises are better off broken.

tags: @pauline5525mgg @theintimatewriter @lilibet261 @greysviolets @jazzymariexoxoc @one-sweet-gubler @thatsonezesty13 @necromaniackat @awhoreforspencerreid @sebs-oxygen @crynroom @scarredelirium @reid1nspiration @bts-sugaplum @awesomeness1679 @preciousbabypeter @yazzyu @cynbx @youcantseem3 @xmysec0ndself @trikigirl271 @mikaylafairy @prettypanda13 @strawberrysunglasses @sad-innit @sydney-m @depressedprincess24 @flyingmushroomss @r3idsp3ncer <3

bold take but i think we normalize the concept of never moving on too much?? like i’ve seen people online who’re like “yeah i broke up with my ex 7 years ago and i’m STILL stuck on them” and that is so terrifying. do you realize how short life is. it’s literally too short to be stuck on a certain chapter of your life for years and years

Hii, saw your request were open!

This might not even make sense, because I don't even know if the na'vi have this too

But some hc to human reader getting their period earlier than expected and the sully kids + tsireya, aonung and roxto reaction to weird human biology

Thanks alot and stay healthy!!

--- sex ed. class ☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ

platonic!various x gn!human!reader

!! in my hc, fem na'vi doesn't menstruate !!

teaching your na’vi friends, who doesn’t menstruate, the beautiful world of human biology

"so, your... thing bleeds every month?"

you nod

"are you stupid?

"i'm sorry?"

ao'nung clicks his tongue, looking at you with disbelieve. "that means you're doing something, only Eywa knows what, to yourself. and you’re doing it so badly that it bleeds-"

you hit him on the head, "no! what are you even thinking?"

"no, but seriously" neteyam looks at you with concern, "forgive me for watching you, but this morning i saw you wash your blanket that’s literally soaked with blood"

your face starts to heat up, "that means the cloth i use wasn't enough-"

"3 pieces of cloth to soak your blood. and it wasn't even enough?" tsireya's voice filled with worry, "are you sure you're okay? we could ask my mother to patch you up" 

"reya, im fine-"

"no you're not! you came to her for painkillers, this morning. to mend your stomach cramps!"

"its probably tape worms"

"no shit", rotxo snickers

"or just a real bad constipation"

"rotxo, ao’nung please” kiri rolls her eyes, tired of their stupidity. “they clearly said that the bleeding comes from their other below"

not long after lo'ak snaps his head towards you, mouth agape. "holy shit. i think i know what's going on" then he quickly moves closer to you. his face just a few inches from yours, his terrified look terrifies you

"my mother experienced the same things as you, when we were about to have tuk. stomach hurting, below bleeding- "

"no. fucking. way” rotxo clasps his mouth, “are you about to give birth?"

"what?"

ao’nung’s jaw dropped. “who knocked you up?” 

“that’s it i’m taking you to the tsahik” 

“STOP” 

your friends went quiet. 

they could only stare at your flushed face as your breathing went erratic. 

you gulp, trying to calm yourself down. you close your eyes, inhaling a good amount of oxygent to fill your lungs and letting your mind go blank. then, you could open your mouth again

"as you all know, female bodies bear children in their uterus, yes?"

they all nod

"good. now the uterus, in human bodies specifically, would prepare for pregnancy every month-"

"so you need to get pregnant every month?"

"shut up rotxo"

"wait a minute" kiri cuts you off, "you’re not pregnant, but you’re currently bleeding. so the bleeding occurs when the pregnancy doesn’t happen?"

"yup. because i'm not pregnant, my womb's lining shreds out"

their terrified screams deafens you

Mate | Lucien x reader

Summary: You ran from Lucien when the bond snapped into place. It's been torture being without him.

Request: Could you do Reader x Lucien, where reader is his mate not Elain? I can never really find any and he's my favorite. Thanks for your time

TW// angst in the beginning, brief mentions of difficulty eating, feeling rejected, kissing with consent, super fluff at the end, mating bond.

A/N: always happy to write for Lucien! I agree that there aren't many mate!reader x Lucien fics, so I hope this fills a little bit of that need. Sorry if it's short, I hope it meets your expectations! This is unedited, unproofread, and Tumblr was being a bitch when I was writing it! Happy Easter, Happy Passover, Ramadan Mubarak, and if you don't celebrate any of those, then have a wonderful day <3

==================

Lucien Vanserra is many things.

Tall, muscular, witty, gorgeous, former emissary of the Spring Court, friend to the Night Court, the youngest of the seven brothers.

Oh yeah, and your mate.

And okay, it snapped into place so suddenly, so unexpectedly, you really couldn't be blamed for reacting the way you did. There was an incredibly attractive high fae male in the townhouse kitchen, it's a wonder you didn't turn and run away the moment you set eyes on him. No, you waited until after the bond snapped in place, that strange draw towards each other making both his and your eyes go wide. You didn't know how to react, didn't know what to do. And when your mate spent just a few seconds too long staring at you like you were a bug that learned how to speak, you bolted upstairs.

Feyre followed, her footsteps not enough to drown out the disbelief in the low rumble of his voice. "She's my mate."

You had heard about Lucien before that encounter, and afterwards Feyre assured you he was a good male, but you were nervous. You'd never had a mate before, and it felt weirdly like an arranged marriage to you. Even if you had nothing against him, or the mating bond, they both terrified you. This worsened when a month passed with no contact between the two of you. You weren't sure what his reasons were for refusing to seek you out, but yours kept you indignantly silent.

You could feel the bond. Lucien was mostly quiet on the other side, but you could feel him. From the moment he left the townhouse your chest grew into a black hole, sucking up anything and leaving you hollow inside. You felt like you were dying, like a sickness had taken over you. Though you continued with your normal life, everything was more difficult with the presence of an absent mate. Even eating, sleeping, everything was harder. You wondered if he could feel you too, if it was consuming him alive the way it was to you. Occasionally, an emotion would spike down the bond, like it had unintentionally slipped from the leash of his control. Fear, anger, sadness. They made your heart beat faster and your mind race whenever they flashed. A few times it happened at night, forcing you to pace the room all night, any thought of sleep gone like dust on a breeze.

And somehow, even though you hadn't said a word to him, even though nothing had changed in the month you hadn't seen him, you began to feel something resembling love. Lucien was constantly present with you, even if he wasn't there physically. He was constantly on your mind. As much as it all terrified you– the longer you were apart, the more desperate you became for him.

It was halfway into month two when Rhys decided to intervene. Every member of the Inner Circle was worried about you, about your deteriorating condition. That space between the day that Rhys said he was going to invite Lucien, and the day that Lucien confirmed he would come... You thought you were going to die in those three days. And when he finally decided to come, the date and time he chose were almost immediate.

"This will be good for both of you." Feyre assured, sitting on the couch beside you.

Your stomach clenched nervously at the mere mention of Lucien. She hadn't even said his name and your mind inflamed with thoughts of him.

"What happens if he rejects it?" You said, your mouth dry. Then realizing the insecurity you just voiced, you added. "If I reject it?"

"Then we'll deal with that. Just give him a chance, talk it out." Feyre said, and you knew she was probably speaking from experience.

Her head whipped up to Rhys and they exchanged a silent conversation. Lucien had arrived. You could tell, if not from their faces then from the bond that alerted you to his nearness. You pushed your hands beneath your thighs, sitting on them to keep from jumping up and running to meet him. You were desperate for him but you couldn't reveal that until you knew he felt anything for you.

Lucien entered, and it was like time stopped. His eyes immediately met yours, and the face that had been burned into your memory was infinitely more beautiful when stood in front of you. His eyes roved over you, fixed as if you were the only person in the room. Your legs trembled to keep from jumping into his arms. You didn't even know if he wanted you, and yet you wanted nothing more than to be with him, close to him. Whatever this bond was, whatever the Cauldron had destined for you could be damned. It didn't matter if it was fate, or just primal instinct, but you loved him. A male you didn't even know.

"I guess we'll leave you two alone. If you need anything, give a shout." Rhys mused, leading Feyre out of the room with a hand on her back. You had forgotten they were even there.

You couldn't think of anything except him. His tanned skin, the brightness of his hair, you wanted to run your hands over all of it.

"Y/N." Lucien finally said. Everything inside you guttered out at the sound of your name on his lips. The others must've told him about you, you distractedly realize.

"Lucien." It's the breath of a whisper over your tongue. His name is so much more beautiful when you say it to his face. The sound of it seems to siphon some of the life out of him, his eyebrows pulling up barely perceptibly.

Lucien clears his throat and refocuses himself. You can tell this is more difficult than he expected it would be, yet ever the trained socialite, he schools himself into focus. He's still on the other side of the room, but he take a few steps closer, his scent wafting. Like honey, and wood and grass. You almost arch towards it. He notices.

"I suppose there are some things we need to discuss." His voice sounds like he isn't completely present. His head is in a world somewhere else.

You nod, a harsh snap to reality when you remember he might be here to reject you.

"You ran away from me." He was closer now, making his way to the couch but scared to be in such proximity to you.

"I was scared." You whisper honestly, as if under a trance. You don't know how Rhys resisted the bond for so long, how he kept it a secret. "I'm sorry." You apologize, knowing it must've felt awful to have someone actually run in the opposite direction after realizing they're to spend their life with you.

"Scared of me?" He freezes, not moving any closer. You pat the cushion next to you, knowing he wouldn't move any closer if he thought you feared him. Lucien sits down, his compliance a small comfort.

"No. No, definitely not of you." You shake your head adamantly. "The bond– it surprised is me is all."

He looks down at his hands, turning them over in his lap. It gives you a chance to study his features, the scars, the intricacy of the metal eye. Everything about him is so sharp, so starkly beautiful. A beautiful male deserving of a beautiful mate.

"You didn't seek me out." You ask.

"I didn't think you wanted me." It was as if you could hear your heart shattering over his words. He glanced up and the genuine empathy in your eyes urged him to continue. "I was scared too." Lucien admitted.

"Not of me," You hoped, joking.

He scoffs a light laugh. "No." The amusement lowers from his features as he answers honestly. "I was scared of what happens to people close to me. I was scared that maybe if there was some way you wanted me, I would end up losing you before I even got to have you."

You didn't know what to say. You didn't know how to comfort him, assure him you would be fine. Those words would be meaningless to a male who could see through such pleasant lies. There was nothing you could say to make him want you, nothing you could say to convince him that a life together would be worth it.

"You don't want me." You concluded.

His head whipped up, brows narrowed together, his eye whirred. "No, I didn't say that." You give him a pointed look to explain. "I want you more than anything I've ever wanted. I've never felt this way before."

You reach over and place a hand over his warm, tanned ones. His nostrils flare and he looks down at it, studying where you skin meets his. It's the first time you've touched your mate.

"Tell me what you're thinking, Y/N." He sounded broken and you never wanted him to be like that again. It destroyed you.

"I'm thinking that I don't know how this is possible. I don't even know you and you're the only thing I think about. I couldn't eat or sleep for the past month because I've been so consumed by how much I need you."

His eyes were beautiful up close. His scent was torturing you, and fighting to keep from kissing him was the hardest thing you'd ever done. His skin was like a magnet to yours, begging to be touched, begging to worshipped.

"Tell me, whatever it is you want I'll give it you. If you tell me to leave and never come back, you'll never see me again. Whatever you want, Y/N." Lucien promised and the passion in his voice had you dragging your hand up to his forearm. He was addictive and sensual, your eyes drooped half-lidded and you whispered with every ounce of you.

"Kiss me, Lucien. Please."

It took him only a moment before his lips were on yours, a warm hand cupping your jaw. Your hand found his knee, and the other traced up his broad chest. It was sparks and fireworks from his lips, but also fuzz and static so loud in your head you couldn't hear. He was glorious. His lips were plush, devouring yours like he needed you to breath. The suffering that came from separation was nothing compared to the euphoria of joining with him. If everything in your life had led to this moment, it would've been worth it a million times over. Lucien's hand scraped up your scalp and you gasped against him, the touch so much more magnified coming from your mate. Your palm against his chest arched to scratch down it, a shuddering breath releasing from the male. You had the same effect on him. He pulled back, the only sound both of your panting against each other. His scent was so intoxicating, so strong up close you had to keep from burying your face in his neck. You were halfway climbing into his lap as it was.

"My mate." Lucien whispered, his eyes studying the emotions whirling in yours. You nearly crumbled beneath his words.

"You smell good." You whispered, a smile breaking across your features when he pulls back and laughs. Happiness on Lucien was your new favorite thing in the world.

"So do you." His smile is so beautiful it makes your heart swell. Looking at him feels like looking at the sun. "You know what they say about mates?"

"They say a lot of things about mates." You countered, unable to even attempt to hide your beaming smile.

"It's been said that your mate is the only one who can truly see your soul, unhindered. It's why we're so protective over them, why we fall in love so quickly." Lucien's eyes flicked to your lips when he said 'love'.

"What do you think of my soul, Lucien?" You were almost teasing, though curious to hear his answer. You couldn't tear your gaze from him.

"I think it's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen." And the way he looked at you, you could tell he wasn't just talking about your soul when he said it. You pressed your lips to his in short affection, unable to resist him for any longer.

"So..." You trailed, mischief sparkling in your eyes that made Lucien draw back, suspicious. "You want some soup?"

Always (2)

Pair: Azriel x Reader

Word Count: 1.7k

Warnings: Language (?) and angst

Summary: Y/n takes some time to reflect on the decision she needs to make and confronts Azriel.

A/N: Ask and you shall receive, I tagged those of you who asked for a part 2. Let me know what you think <3

Also available on Wattpad and AO3

Masterlist - Part 1

You were gone. No one had heard from you for a whole 2 weeks and to say they were confused was an understatement. One second you were laughing along with them, wine drunk with Azriel by your side helping you stay steady enough to watch the stars fall, and the next you had given them no sign of life. Azriel could feel from the bond that you were in fact alive, you just needed your space and so that was what he told the others.

He left out the part that he had royally fucked up in his delivery but you hadn't given him the chance to explain himself, you had always known when something was wrong and as closed off as he might be, you were the only one who could read him like a book.

You closed yourself off in your apartment, and when you were in need of fresh air you went out for a walk by the sidra, you tried out new places that were opening up around Velaris. Everything and anything to keep your mind off of him no matter how much you needed to way out your options.

You were engaged. To Eris of all fae. Eris was your sister's fiancee once upon a time too, not that you wanted him in the first place. You couldn't help but think that Mor's tragic history was now your plot line.

You and Eris worked together to infiltrate Keir's secrets in the court of nightmares, your father trusted him and because you allowed yourself to be under his control, the result was your betrothal to the heir of the Autumn Court. It worked in everyone's favor, though when you had told the rest of your family it had not gone over so well. Mor couldn't be in the same room as you- much less you and Eris- for months.

Eventually, you had opened up on the advantages it would serve, Eris was already allied with the night court privately now no one in the court of nightmares could suspect your deception. It was a whole twisted mess of double-crossings.

You and Eris teamed up as a couple pretending to be spying on the inner circle and feeding false information to the enemy while in reality, you were spying on your father, giving Rhysand everything. It was enough to give you a headache. Now adding Azriel into the mix- Would ruin everything you worked so hard to build.

All these years of faking your loyalty and devotion to your father with everything he has done to you and your sister so that you can be the eyes and ears in places your high lord cannot, the one goal in your ruse was to be free of him without breaking what you built. Eris was the way to do that, he was technically on your side and you've spoken of the past, he was a handsome male that could please you just fine.

It didn't matter that he wasn't the one you wanted because, for all you knew at the time, the one you longed for's heart, beat for someone else.

You had never known Azriel to be selfish but lately, he had made it a new habit that you weren't so sure about. How dare he? How dare he do this to you!

The audacity of this man! Azriel would cost you everything and you would pay for it, willingly. He hadn't needed to speak for you to know what he wanted from you.

What you would have given to have him reach for you the way he did that night. The way you pined for him, in your 500 years of living your heart beat for no other male. Fae, Illyrian, both, human, even High Lord at one point. No one could compare to Azriel. Your mind, body, and soul were are his. However, it was time you gave up your unofficial claim on him he wasn't yours nor you his- or so you thought.

Nothing would become of this childish infatuation you grew accustomed to. And so you worked to keep your thoughts on your future without him, a future you knew where Azriel would find someone who would love him.

A century later and here you were, clutching your chest to keep from the panic crawling up your throat.

If only this had happened sooner-

Before it got so messy before you accepted Eris' proposal and appeared before your father claimed your hand. He so eagerly accepted, his hunger for power clear in his eyes, so blind for it that he's unaware of the upper hand you and your soon-to-be husband have.

If only he had loved you when you didn't have all these responsibilities that a relationship- mateship with him would tear down.

After a week of shutting yourself out, you spoke to Eris. He knew all about your feelings for Azriel and though he was jealous, you were his- at the time. When you told him you needed to speak to him he already knew. He gave you one last kiss before making a smartass remark about how he'd be there when you got bored.

You didn't know how you were going to deal with your father just yet but you would clean up one mess at a time.

Days later you finally gathered up the courage to speak to him. It was almost dusk when you had opened up the bond and willed him to come to you. The wind brought him to the middle of your sitting room within a minute.

His head was bent, he looked like a little boy who was caught in the pantry. You sighed and took his hand leading him to your couch and pushing down his broad shoulders for him to sit in the middle. His brows furrowed in confusion as you backed away and intertwined your fingers.

"I am going to talk and you are going to listen," Your eyes flickered between both of his hazel ones. "Got it?"

He nodded eagerly, though he wouldn't meet your gaze.

"I cannot accept the bond-" From your side of the link, you felt his heart clench, "Not yet at least. I need to know this is real Az."

You could tell he wanted to speak but you knew that he wouldn't, not until you've said your peace. Tears begin to well up at how hard it was to say this out loud, "I will always love you. More than you will ever know Azriel, but I will not be a replacement for all the women you could not have. For all, I've known you never showed the slightest bit of interest in me prior to Starfall. Now I'm going to ask you- and I want the truth Az- Do you want this?"

His eyes were glossed over as he looked up at you through his lashes, "Do you want me?" Your voice broke.

He stood from his place on your couch, sauntering over to you, and he reached a hand out. Fingertips softly brushed fallen strands of your hair from your face, behind your ear, tracing a finger from your ear to your jaw. Slowly and painfully he dragged his finger to the tip of your chin forcing your eyes to meet his and you are weak.

"I have been so blind Y/n," He whispers.

"That's not an answer," You shake your head, and he drops his hand. Your voice was like stone though your nerves were on fire, "Do you love me Azriel?"

"I love you, Y/n L/n."

You wanted so badly to believe him. The thought of the mating bond forcing him to make him feel this way made you sick. "What about Elain?"

Azriel winced but spoke cooly, "An infatuation that is over and done."

"And Mor?"

"I loved her," Your stomach turned. "But the love I had for her, in that way, is gone and it does not compare to how I feel for you. The bond does nothing but intensify the love I have for you, the love that I have hidden away long ago."

"How am I supposed to believe that?" You scoff. "You forget that I've been there Az, throughout everything. You are not shy with your love, I should know, I've seen the way you love."

He shakes his head in denial, "I love you Y/n."

"What happens if one day Mor decides she loves you?" Something you knew would never actually happen but you needed to know.

"I love you-"

"Azriel-"

"I love you."

You playfully push him away from you, "You can't keep saying that when you have nothing to back it up with." He takes a hold of your waist with one hand and grabs the back of your neck, attaching his lips to yours. He kisses you with an intensity you've never felt from any other male, you melt into the kiss wrapping your arm around his shoulder and running your hands through his hair. Your body was pressed against his, adding heat to a situation you weren't sure you wanted to add to. His lips were intoxicating, you didn't want to stop but your mind wouldn't stop thinking about all the unanswered questions.

You broke away from the kiss, pushing him an arm's length away. "You said I talked too much."

He barked out a laugh, "What?"

"You told me that a couple of years ago," He took a step toward you but your arm held strong.

"I love you Y/n."

"I snore-"

"No you don't," Azriel snorted and removed your hand from his shoulder, bringing you into him with an arm. He pressed kisses up and down your neck, "I thought you wanted me to prove my love and here you are trying to give me reasons not to love you."

Azriel added his tongue to his kisses and began to suck on one spot in particular that had your knees weak.

"You said it yourself that I'm too much for you."

He paused his attack on your neck holding your face in his large hands, "Because I love you and you deserve better. Besides, I've dealt with you for well over two centuries I think I can deal with you for the rest of my life."

"I need you to prove it."

"I'll prove it to you for as long as I live," Azriel bent his neck down to press a chaste kiss to your lips.

"Promise?"

"I promise."

Taglist: @mulansaucey - @jadepearsonn - @benbarnes-supremacy - @seppys-return-to-madness - @azriel-luvr - @marina468 - @zealousballoonfox

Hi! I wanna cry out my heart tonight so is it alright for you to make a neteyam x reader where neteyam comes back home after the war but hears that reader is mated/bonded with someone else?

Btw I love your works omg! 🥹

Neteyam Returns From the Metkayina and Falls In Love With You Again After Seeing You (SFW / Comfort)

Reader is Fem! Omaticaya

CW: i'm sorry but i couldn't bring myself to do it :'), i had it all planned out but it was just too sad, i hope you're alright with the change tho, fluffy fluff, simp Neteyam appearance, reader is one too, Lo'ak and Kiri are, yet again, Lo'ak and Kiri, skeezy is when someone is weird or creepy, figured I’d slide some black slang in there

"Someone's excited," Kiri giggles, turning to Neteyam as her and Lo'ak's ikran approached the entrance to the Omaticaya Stronghold.

The boy had had this childlike expression plastered on his face nearly the whole way home, which grew in giddiness the closer the family drew to their forest home.

Even in the earlier days when they had stopped for rest, she clearly remembered how much he mumbled your name in his sleep, as if it were a prayer.

It made her want to swoon and gag at the same time.

He's so hopeless.

"Yeah. We all know what your excited to see," Lo'ak smirked, pulling his ikran closer to Neteyam's, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Or should I say...who?"

Neteyam scoffed, rolling his eyes at their antics.

Ever since their journey started, the teasing had been relentless. So much so that it didn't even faze him anymore.

What's a few more minutes of it anyway?

Seeing you again would be his greatest reward.

Four years of pining and longing would all be worth it. 

The hard days, the cold nights, the times where he felt like he couldn't anymore. You came to him, be it a dream, or a memory, and told him you could.

It was what made him love you so much.

Even if you weren’t there, you were there for him, easing his body, mind, and soul.

Back when he lived with the Omaticaya, you two had a special spot that one would go to if they were sad, mad, tired, or simply overwhelmed.

The other would comfort them, hold them close, say sweet nothings, make the other feel loved. 

It became a regular thing. And now that he was coming back, it was the very first thing he wanted to do with you.

He wanted to feel you run your hands through his hair, he wanted you to trace his glowing freckles, he wanted you whisper how much you loved him into his ear.

Fuck.

“You know what would be hilarious? If she found a mate already,” Lo’ak poorly joked, turning to Kiri.

This quickly brought Neteyam out of his reverie, a nervous frown quickly replacing his smile

Kiri was quick to catch this.

“Don’t joke like that, skxawng!” she scolded, flicking him harshly on the head, earning an angry ow! from him.

“Last I checked, (y/n) was obsessed with Neteyam. She wouldn’t shut up about him. I highly doubt she would ever find someone else.”

But the words went through one ear and out the other.

The thought you would mate with someone else never crossed Neteyam’s mind. But now that it did, it made perfect sense.

Four years was a long time, and you were a beautiful woman.

No doubt some skeezy warrior tried to snatch you up the moment you came of age.

The thought made his blood boil, and his heart wrench.

This couldn’t be the case.

After all he’d been through throughout these four years, the only thing that was keeping him going was the thought of you waiting for him at home.

Now that there was a possibility of you no longer being his, he was truly contemplating turning back.

“Look alive kids. We’re here,” his dad smiled, pulling his ikran to the front of the pack.

“Yay! Home!” Tuk cheered from her spot with Neytiri, earning a laugh from the woman.

She was quite excited to be home, too.

They swooped into the cave, perching the ikran on the stone ledge before dismounting, the entirety of the clan running towards them, crowding the family.

Shouts and cheers of excitement echoed throughout the cave, the cave happy to see their former Olo’eyktan had returned, hopefully ready for him, or his son, to resume the mantle.

Despite the thick crowd, Mo’at managed to make it to the front of the mantle, along with the new Olo’eyktan.

“Jakesully, oel ngati kameie,” Mo’at nodded, pointing her hand from herself to Jake.

“Mo’at, oel ngati kameie. Olo’eyktan, oel ngati kameie,” Jake did the same, turning to the Olo’eyktan as well.

Once the formalities were out the way, Mo’at smiled, enveloping her family in a large hug.

“Welcome home,” she greeted.

The entire family hugged her back, the children happy to see their grandmother again.

“Grandmother! You will never believe what we have seen! All of the sea animals and the plants! Oh, and the tulkun!” Tuk happily rambled, hanging onto her grandma a little longer as the rest of the family broke away.

“I am sure you will tell me all about it tonight. My, you have gotten big!” Mo’at assured, hugging her granddaughter tightly.

While Neteyam was happy that his family was fully reunited once again, he still found his eyes scouring the crowd, looking for a familiar face.

Your familiar face.

“She is in the healing tent,” Mo’at whispered, recognizing her grandson’s distress.

He smiled, giving her a quick peck on the cheek before running off through the crowd, down the familiar path that always led him to you.

Visions of the day he left flashed through his head, reminding him what he was coming back to.

“Are you sure you have to go?” you tearfully asked, cupping his face in your hand.

“I must. My family will put everyone in the clan in danger if we stay,” he sighed, pulling you in closer by your waist, resting his forehead on yours.

“Well if you must,” you sniffled, quickly wiping a tear from your eye. “Then I support you. I will wait for you, Neteyam. For as long as it takes.”

When he snapped himself out of it, he was already at your tent flap, the piece of cloth the only thing keeping you two apart.

He was about to grab it, but stopped mid-way, hesitating.

What if you had really found someone else to love?

“I will wait for you, Neteyam. For as long as it takes,” your words repeated in his head.

He sighed, steeling his nerves, before yanking open the tent flap, walking in.

“Tsahey! How many times have I told you, Ateyo! You have to be more careful when climbing trees. If you had fell any different, you would have cracked your skull open,” you scolded, smoothing a mushroom salve over a large cut on a young boy’s forehead.

You back was turned, and you didn’t hear the flap sound over the boy’s complaints.

“Hitxoa, (y/n). I tried to be extra careful this time! But a syaksyuk came out of no where and shook the branch!” Ateyo whined, wincing at the sting of the paste.

The air caught in Neteyam’s throat as he got a good look at you, his eyes raking up and down your body.

You had grown so much.

Your hair had gotten longer, your chest had gotten larger, and your hips had gotten slightly bigger, with a slightly deeper curve to them.

It was making something stir in his stomach.

The feeling reminded him of that word he had caught his dad calling his mom once. The one that Neytiri hissed at him for when she realized the children were around.

What was it?

Sexy.

When you stopped rubbing the salve on him, the little boy opened his eyes, only for them to land on the tall, warrior behind you, who gave him a polite wave.

The boy gasped in shock, his eyes growing wide with awe.

He knew exactly who he was, every Omaticayan boy did. 

Neteyam the Warrior, brother to Lo’ak the Warrior. 

Stories of the brothers’ adventures were known throughout the clan. And they practically became legends to the children. 

You cocked a brow, slowly turning around. 

“What are you-.” Your breath hitched when your eyes met that of the warrior before you, his smile growing at the sight of your face.

You had gotten more beautiful, too.

You slowly stood up, looking the boy...no, man, up and down, a dark shade of blue growing on your cheeks.

He had gotten incredibly tall, and beefier, too. 

And with new muscle, came new scars, which now littered his body, in a good way.

In an attractive way.

You would enjoy hearing stories about them as you traced them later tonight.

“Oel ngati kameie, my love,” he smirked, doing the gesture along with it, deeply hoping those words were still true.

The biggest smile you had smiled in four years found their way to your lips as you broke into a run, tackling the poor man in a bear hug.

“My Neteyam! You have returned!” you exclaimed out of pure happiness, throwing your arms around his neck and going on your tippy-toes to kiss him on the lips.

You were no longer tall enough to kiss him normally.

He laughed into it, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you closer to him ( if that was even possible ).

After your display of affection, he felt foolish to think you would ever mate with someone other than him.

As the two of you broke apart, he looked into your beautiful, honey eyes, and smiled as saw they held so much love behind them.

You were looking at him as if he hung the stars right before you.

And he recognized this because this was the very same look he would give you.

When you weren’t looking, of course.

“Look how beautiful you have grown. You must be the most sought woman in the clan,” he smirked, sensually tucking a stray braid behind your ear.

You smirked right back, bringing your hands to rest on his chest.

“Ah, yes. It has come to that,” you playfully sighed, leaning in closer so your mouth lay just outside his ear, bringing your voice down to a whisper.

“But I have saved myself for you.”

Neteyam quietly growled, the stir in his stomach increasing tenfold as he thought of what would happen if he took you to Utral Aymokriyä tonight.

“As have I,” he huskily whispered back, giving your neck a quick peck.

His tone made you shudder, suddenly begging for eclipse to come so you two could sneak off.

“GROSS!” the little, forgotten boy exclaimed from the corner, holding his stomach as if he were about to throw up.

“Disgusting! You’re a warrior! You’re not supposed to like this lovey-dovey stuff!” he groaned, pointing to his mouth and gagging.

“Get out of here!” you scolded, turning around and placing your hands on your hips.

But not before Neteyam pulled you into him, your back resting on his strong chest.

“Yeah. Before I start kissing her again,” Neteyam teased, placing a long, dramatic kiss on your cheek, making you giggle.

“GROSSSSS!” the boy loudly groaned in agony, covering his eyes as he ran out the tent.

The two of you laughed at the boy’s antics before you turned around, wrapping your arms around his neck once more.

You both stayed in comfortable silence, having a silent conversation as you stared into each others eyes, taking in every detail and committing it to memory.

Just in case you two would have to separate again.

“You know,” you started, smirking as one of your hands find it’s way to Neteyam’s hair, rubbing it in the way you remembered he liked.

“I was being serious before. I have saved myself.”

You gave a light tug to some of his hair, and the man let out a strained groan, using every ounce of his strength to keep him from closing his eyes in pleasure.

You massaged his head so well.

“You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to hold you again,” he sighed, tightening his grip around your waist.

You smiled, inching your face closer to his, to the point where your lips were a hair away.

“Then what are we still waiting for?” you purred.

That was his tipping point.

With a growl, he enveloped your lips in a passionate kiss, and you kissed him back with just as much fervor.

Hooking his hands under your thighs, he picked you up, carrying bridal style as he took you the back way out the tent.

“Neteyam!” you squealed, pulling out the kiss and tightening your grip around your neck, keeping yourself from falling.

“Quiet, my love. Or people will hear us,” he smirked, placing a quick kiss on your lips before running the both of you out the back entrance of the Stronghold.

Sure, you were serious about what you said. But past Neteyam would’ve never been bold enough to actually go through with it.

He had changed in these four years. He had grown confidence.

It was making something stir in you, even more so as you knew your destination would be Utral Aymokriyä.

This is going to be fun.