Ms-scarletwings - Of Carmine Carnations

I’m totally playing Devil’s Advocate for Gaz here but every time you think she’s being an absolute demon to her brother and it’s uncalled for, recall the full extent of Dib’s most insufferable and jerkass behaviors, and imagine being under the same roof as that guy every day. Sharing a fridge and pantry with that. Sharing a common living space with that after you’ve already spent a school day with it. You’re like, 11 and just want to play video games and do normal childhood stuff, and you live with Dib Motherfucking Membrane.

Yeah yeah, he got what he deserved for the Pork Taster thing, but I’m pissed off on sis’s behalf just watching how often the dude straight up shows negative amounts of consideration when it comes to someone else’s food. What the hell.

Use me as a guinea pig for dark magical arts and curses? Well, nobody’s perfect bro. We all make mistakes.

Drink the last soda unnotified like that? Fucking yoink my pizza slice out of my own hand??? You are catching some freaking hands you audacious little twerp.

It makes so much sense and I honestly have a lot of my extended headcanons riding on it for good reason.

The Vortians used to ally with the Armada once. Someone evidently got betrayed and now the proud people of Vort have literally been reduced to either fugitives from or battered slaves on their own planet. The Irken menace is an over-militarized force that cannot be fought against directly once it has taken hold.

Under these conditions, sabotage can be the most brave and rebellious action possible against your captors.

They wouldn’t keep alive a sentient race unless they NEEDED their services, and Vortians are the entire reason that Irk has such superior military prowess in the first place. There was also the one screwhead from the planetary conveyor belt system. The dude single handedly responsible for getting Zim that Megadoomer while ruining invader Tenn’s entire mission. Saboteurs behind the line like him are unironically more effective at doing damage to the empire than the Resisty has been so far.

I also got that one personal theory that Zim might be the pinnacle example and it was extremely fun to write up.

But yeah Vortian technology is approaching or capable or approaching that of a Kardashev scale type 3, maybe type 4 civilization. That’s freaking insane. It’s fun to call Irkens just stupid and incompetent for all the glaring flaws in their toolset, but their sin was laziness, not shitty engineering. They outsourced the bulk of that to their allies and captives, and Vortian scientists are not stupid beings. Collectively, they are likely the most intelligent known creatures in the universe.

Just look at the Massive, flagship of the galactic conquest fleet. Most badass Battle Cruiser to exist so far: superior weaponry, extremely impressive durability. Truly worthy of a commission by an Almighty Tallest. And yet it has two absurdly shameful flaws- An exposed storage section on the side that can easily be pierced through, and a vulnerability to remote hijacking. Prisoner 777 wasn’t the only designer of that ship. Another known researcher responsible for its early blueprints was Lard Nar.

i remember being 7 and losing my shit over this stupid ass scene………… zim truly was prime comedy

Ah yes, my favorite show ever,

GIR:

Invader Zim in a nutshell

Unironically so appreciative of Dib staying focused on the important questions here.

I know it’s likely that the super beard growing is just the unique quirk of that particular Zim’s alternate reality but it’s so, so much funnier to imagine our our Zim (and other invaders, by extension) hypothetically could look something like that real fast without a consistent shaving regimen.

But I mean I’m happy to take this as confirmation too, lmfao.

More interesting though was that little revelation that the average life expectancy of a Zim after entering this timeline was ridiculously short before Zib started getting his nasty little plans together and founded the hierarchy. Tbh our protags were extremely lucky to show up when they did, just past the most chaotic and violent days within the void, but also during the infancy of Zib’s diabolical operation.