Actually Maybe Getting Into Milgram Was A Mistake. I Just Feel Dread

actually maybe getting into milgram was a mistake. i just feel dread

how content drought look when real trial end come at them

bluey and bingo!

@greenbetula This is in response to your post, but I wanted to say my own thoughts here instead of a reblog!

The Mahiru Undercover shot is really interesting tbh because it seems more unclear compared to the other shots shown. Just what is happening here? Is it a shadow of them holding hands while they’re walking like in ILY? Well, I think it could be, but the angle seems to suggest that Mahiru’s bf’s hand is flat on the ground, which would mean his body is laying there as well. If that were the case, Mahiru would either be reaching down to take his hand, or she’s laying on top of him and taking his hand like that instead. Either way, I don’t think that really matters because it’s clear she’s holding his hand somehow, but why? What’s the reason for her doing that? Imo, I think it’s because she was grieving.

At least with how I interpret this, this seems to be right after he died (which would parallel the rest of the Undercover shots seemingly taking place after the prisoners’ murders, most notably Kazui’s where it’s clear that’s right after Hinako killed herself), and Mahiru, who survived the aftermath of her bf’s death, is trying to compensate for him being dead, either being in complete denial in that moment, or she’s coping because she just…doesn’t know what to do. And who wouldn’t know what to do in that kind of situation? What can she do, now that the person she loved is gone? Try and "bring him back" somehow? I don't think these two things are mutually exclusive btw, it really could've been both. I just think she, especially in her grief like state, would do this sort of thing (aka hold hands with a corpse) for two main reasons:

One: Mahiru is a person who wants to be together forever with her partner. Especially in that moment after he literally just died, she would try to be together with him (which is why she holds his hand). She wants that closeness with him, to continue being with him and loving him despite being dead, because that is what love is to her, after all:

She also believes in the afterlife and yet she still wishes to bring the one she loved back to life. In that grief stricken moment, did she try to do such a thing? Did she have some kind of thought that he would come back somehow if she was together with him? Or was it something much darker, where she wanted to join him in death, because living without him and in a world where she had nothing was much more painful than dying?

This is further supported by the name of this drink in TIHTBILWY, which is called “Corpse Reviver” interestingly enough. To be honest, the worst I can see Mahiru do is somehow keep her bf’s corpse around (which would mirror Shidou heavily), although I highly doubt this because I don’t think it’s realistic, and I feel like it should’ve been hinted at more by now if that was the case. Again, I can’t completely rule that out, but it’s a scenario I could see happening in the short term (in the moment where he just died) compared to Shidou’s long term actions with his patients to try and bring back his family.

I think in that moment right after he died, Mahiru just wanted to be together with him somehow, so she's coping with that loss by being close to him, even if he's...already gone. Hell, she's still having trouble even now with fully accepting her boyfriend's death:

There is nothing that can bring him back, so what else can she do, other than hold his lifeless hand out of a quiet moment of respite?

Two: Shidou Kirisaki parallels

The character she is paired with for prisoner pairs, the one who has many similarities with her in regards to grief and not being to accept death that’s right in front of them — it really highlights just how similar they are in that sense. They are both people who have been overtaken by grief before:

Shidou tries to bring back his loved ones, who are nothing but “corpses” at this point, back at the expense of others so they could be together again. Mahiru, even if it was just in that moment, also wanted to try and “bring the person she loved back”, even if she knew deep down it wouldn’t work. But at least they could be together again, right?

That is why I think Mahiru’s reaction to her boyfriend’s death would also be along the lines of Shidou’s reaction to the death of his family: in a state of complete grief and partial denial that drives them to try and “get them back” somehow. And along with that, a horrible realization that they both have to accept that death because nothing they can do will ever bring their loved ones back from it.

If Mahiru Shiina fucking dies you will see me on the news

QPRs are so awkward to form because most of the time its like.. hey have u heard of this type of relationship thats like custom but also dedicated and stuff? no? ok uhh do u want to be in one though? yeah ok? uh i love you, lets play minecraft together tomorrow ok bye