Ancient Wizard Spell Tome But Like The Recipe Blogs That Start With A Ridiculously Long Personal Anecdote

Ancient wizard spell tome but like the recipe blogs that start with a ridiculously long personal anecdote

You know all those scifi type stories where the question "why is everyone speaking English?" is answered with "they aren't, but it's translated for the viewer"?

I want someone to fully commit to that. Make up nuance that was lost in fiction translation. Have someone casually use puns or idioms that don't make sense, with a paragraph long footnote flashing on screen keikaku means plan style

Character: "Heh, should've seen this coming. You gotta always know where you're squeezing your oranges, kid."

Translator's note: [In Space Language, the words for cup and eye sound the same. This phrase means to always do your research before acting rashly, lest you get orange juice in your eyes instead of your glass.]

personally i’m a fan of when a story is like. the love was there. unfortunately. this all could have actually gone a lot easier for everyone if the love hadn’t been there but here we are

"undoing this character's death would take away his sacrifice and character arc" girl I don't give a shit. I'm bringing him back through the power of ao3 fix-it fics and there's nothing you can do to stop me x

one time a professor asked me if i’d ever wanted to write anything “more important” than romance. and i said no. i was put on this earth to write about sad people kissing. and if another writer ever came up to me and said they wanted to write 400 pages containing nothing but a character baking a single loaf of bread each day, then i would tell them to do that. people don't write something because it's important. they write about something and that is what makes it important