COMPLICATED, Izzy Scoffs Under His Breath. It's Not Nearly A Big Enough Word To Fill Three Years Of

    ❝ COMPLICATED, ❞ izzy scoffs under his breath. it's not nearly a big enough word to fill three years of silence, & he shakes his head at the sheer inadequacy of the explanation. it's hard to believe that billy actually thought he wouldn't still be here, especially considering that it wasn’t izzy who had left in the first place. but there's something earnest & achey in his tone, voice stretched tight. & izzy has to remind himself that whatever really happened, he can be pretty certain that billy didn't want to go — he never would left his ocean willingly.

                        still, izzy can’t bring himself to look billy in the eyes, his gaze pushed off-center instinctually like when he’s been looking into the sun too long. & instead, he finds himself glaring at the boy behind them, now turned to face away as if he can tell that he's being stared down. he’s tall, good-looking, exactly billy's type, & far too pale to be a california native. ❝ steve, ❞ he repeats, the name leaving a bitter taste in his mouth. ❝ right. ❞ he doesn't need to hear any more to understand. in those years apart while izzy stayed in the same place, billy had moved on.

              izzy has to force himself to meet those blue eyes again, to push through the way they almost singe his skin. ❝ ‘course i'm still fuckin' here, where else am i gonna go ? ❞ but he says it with a soft smile. it's a truce — at least for now — & it dawns on him suddenly that he doesn't even know where billy's been this whole time... or if he will be leaving again, going back to some new home with steve that izzy can't even begin to imagine. ❝ & you ? what are you doing back here, after all this time ? bringing your boyfriend to visit, is it ? ❞

what took you so long? the question lingers. sits heavy on his chest. because it's a good question, it's an honest question. and it's not like he wanted to take too long. it's moreso that he got his soul stolen from him. he got beaten and buried on the ground. he died and had to rebuild himself from the ground up. everything was against billy making it back to the sand. and if he was on his own, he. he wouldn't have made it. he knows this. he had given up on himself month number two out of cali. and he doesn't know if he can admit that to izzy. he can be honest.

"thought there wouldn't be anything left for me. besides the ocean." the end. that billy would die and he'd be one with the ocean he means but here you are and. how long have you been waiting. and he's being honest. he doesn't know if he likes it. "-i didn't think you would wait. things got, so so fucking complicated." billy can tell. it's been three years and izzy is here like he's been here for three years, and billy isn't alone. because hawkins was a shit hole but steve. steve wasn't shit, he was a goddamn lifeline and it would take forever to begin to explain how billy would be one with the goddamn ocean if steve had given up on him. but billy, billy can tell by the way izzy asks.

"-i'm telling you. things got complicated." feels his tongue heavy. like he won't be able to fucking explain and maybe he won't. he looks over his shoulder before looking at izzy. not apologetic. not sorry. because. there's nothing to be sorry about. things are never easy for billy and he doesn't know how to explain. "that's steve." and he tries to say it in a normal way. he knows it won't sound that way. "-honest to god izzy, i didn't think you would be here. i didn't think you'd want to see me again." like what happened was billy's fault. it feels like it is. and there's this fear that somehow this will crumble before billy can even think about it again.

"I know what happened. Edward left you."

CON O'NEILL as Izzy Hands & RHYS DARBY as Stede Bonnet in OUR FLAG MEANS DEATH (2022— ) Episode 2.07

❝ you know, i actually thought you’d be dead by now. ❞ 🪐 — @smokedanced ▶ izzy hands for stede bonnet

          ❝ WELL, I'M SORRY TO DISAPPOINT YOU. ❞ stede can't help but puff himself up as he speaks, pride at the single successful raid they had carried out with the new crew configuration causing confidence to bloom in his chest. the crew themselves seemed to be adapting to the arrangement rather nicely ( & clearly there was no love lost between them & edward, given all they had endured these past months ), most of them now scattered across the deck divvying up the loot without complaint. izzy seemed to be the lone holdout, remaining stubbornly bitter & impossible to please — despite surprising stede with by voting along with the rest of the crew for ed to be banished from the ship. the look of perpetual irritation on his face had become almost comforting in its own way, a reliable constant to count on as they found their footing again. 

                            not that he would ever say as much out loud. instead, he turns away from the other man to gaze out at the sea through his spyglass. the horizon stretches unbroken, not another ship nor a speck of land in sight. & even still basking in the glow of of his recent success, stede is starting to feel restless again. the truth is that concern about where ed is & what he might be doing seeps back into his mind the moment the action falls quiet, no matter what he does. but stede pushes the thoughts away with some force — ed simply couldn’t stay here, not when everyone aboard still distrusted him so. he knew that. but he also knew that they would find each other again. & for now, his place was here : with his crew.

yet despite being returned to his station as captain at last, despite a successful raid under his belt, stede finds he has little clue what he should be doing in these quiet moments when the sea is calm. with ed banished & buttons gone, izzy is certainly the most qualified sailor aboard. & loathe as stede was to admit it, the man was rather good at his job. the honest truth was that stede likely couldn’t do this without izzy's help. yet he doesn't know how to ask for such a thing, the man's foul attitude making any conversation challenging to broach. ❝ you know, it’s quite poor form for the first mate to be actively rooting for his captain’s death, don't you think ? ❞ he says, irritated & still unwilling to look at the man beside him. ❝ why even stay aboard if that's how you feel ? just hoping to be around to bear witness to my inevitable failure, is that it ? ❞

❝ He was my closest friend. Lost to a cheap and cowardly shot. ❞ 🪐 — @shadowcovcn ▶ edward teach for izzy hands

         AFTER A LIFETIME of battle spent mostly managing to avoid scars, it seemed his luck had finally dried up. he’d had a good run, but now izzy was getting old, his body slower & more mangled by the week. & it was leading to stupid mistakes, unnecessary injuries. it’s a testament to how badly the past months had been for his normally excellent track record that he couldn’t even be certain which shot ed was referring to — the one delivered by his own hand, or the hit the prince had managed to land in their skirmish to escape nassau. ❝ would you stop being so fucking dramatic ? ❞ he grumbles & shifts slightly, restless in the bed. the movement leaves his still healing bullet wound throbbing. science may have told them that there was nothing important on that side of the body, but it still hurt like holy hell. ❝ you never lost me. knew right where i was the whole time. ❞ 

                        but izzy has known ed long enough to be able to hear the muffled note of remorse in his tone, understand the apology hidden in his words. it's hard not to think about the last time ed had appeared at his bedside like this, glowing like a messenger from god himself. as izzy lie damned & dying, he'd half thought ed had come to personally deliver him to his death. but today is entirely different; as if ed has come seeking absolution. but he doesn't need it; izzy has already forgiven him, for everything. ❝ & you're not gonna lose me, ❞ he says, voice quieter but no less rough. ❝ i’m not going anywhere. you don't understand that yet ? ❞

🪐 — spotify wrapped memes : @shadowcovcn ( frenchie ) for stede # 47 ▶ mama šč! by let 3

OF ALL THE UNEXPECTED changes that stede had discovered upon finally returning to the revenge, perhaps the most difficult for him to wrap his head around was the unwavering loyalty that the crew members who were aboard during ed's rampage had developed towards their first mate. he had expected mass agreement when he suggested that izzy depart the ship — his betrayal of them all to the english was more than worthy of banishment, from his perspective.

but when he broaches the topic with jim, he is met with firm rejection. even more surprisingly, frenchie reacts with a look of abject panic & confusion. & when he demands to know why stede would suggest such a thing, the captain finds that he cannot hide his frustrations any longer. ❝ well, he's a vicious little psychopath, for one thing ! ❞

something something anne bonny's bit to jack rackham where she says "everywhere i go when i said my name, the first thing they'd say was your name"

something something everyone seeing izzy & immediately thinking of blackbeard because they know him first & foremost not as himself but as ed's first mate